The Pitch: January 16, 2014
The Pitch 16-22, 2014. Kansas City's alternative weekly. Feature: "Mission Not Accomplished..."
Ja nua ry 16â€“2 2, 2 014 | f r ee | Vol . 3 3 no. 2 9 | pi t ch.com January 16-22, 2014 | Vol. 33 no. 29 Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor Natalie Gallagher Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, David Hudnall, Steve Vockrodt Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Events Editor Berry Anderson Proofreader Brent Shepherd Contributing Writers Tracy Abeln, Krystin Arneson, Jonathan Bender, Liz Cook, Adrianne DeWeese, April Fleming, Larry Kopitnik, Angela Lutz, Dan Lybarger, Dan Savage, Nick Spacek E d i t o r i a l br i gh ter th an go ld Tivol’s ex-pres knows where the real money is. b y Dav i D H u D n a l l DO YOU WANT TO BUY LOCAL Art Director Ashford Stamper Contributing Photographers Angela C. Bond, Barrett Emke, Chris Mullins, Lauren Phillips, Sabrina Staires, Brooke Vandever a r t 5 FOR HALF OFF? Production Manager Christina Riddle Multimedia Designer Vu Radley Sales Manager Erin Carey Senior Classified Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Multimedia Specialists Collin Click, Sharon Donat, Becky Losey Director of Marketing & Operations Jason Dockery Digital Marketing Manager Keli Sweetland Digital Marketing Specialist Lisa Kelly Sales and Marketing Assistant Anna Brescia Circulation Director Mike Ryan Accounts Receivable Jodi Waldsmith Publisher Joel Hornbostel P r o d u c t i o n Mission not accoMplished WELL , a d v E r t i s i n g NOW YOU CAN! .com c i r c u l a t i o n B u s i n E s s Chief Executive Officer Chris Ferrell Chief Financial Officer Patrick Min Chief Marketing Officer Susan Torregrossa Chief Technology Officer Matt Locke Business Manager Eric Norwood Director of Digital Sales & Marketing David Walker Controller Todd Patton Creative Director Heather Pierce Director of Content/Online Development Patrick Rains VMG Advertising 888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com Senior Vice President of Sales Susan Belair Senior Vice President of Sales Operations Joe Larkin The Pitch distributes 45,000 copies a week and is available free throughout Greater Kansas City, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $5 each, payable at The Pitch’s office in advance. The Pitch may be distributed only by The Pitch’s authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of The Pitch, take more than one copy of each week’s issue. Mail subscriptions: $22.50 for six months or $45 per year, payable in advance. Application to mail at second-class postage rates is pending at Kansas City, MO 64108. The contents of The Pitch are Copyright 2014 by KC Communications, LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the publisher. The Pitch address: 1701 Main, Kansas City, MO 64108 For information or to leave a story tip, call: 816-561-6061 Editorial fax: 816-756-0502 For classifieds, call: 816-218-6759 For retail advertising, call: 816-218-6702 s o u t h c o m m We’re still waiting for Mission Gateway. And waiting. And waiting. b y S t e v e vo c k r o D t n a t i o n a l a d v E r t i s i n g 7 d i s t r i B u t i o n th e r ed edge On the Plaza’s western border, Rosso finds a brilliant new color for Italian. by cHarleS ferruzz a c o P y r i g h t 19 3 5 7 11 13 14 15 19 20 22 28 34 Questionnaire news feature agenda art stage pages café fat city music d a i ly l i s t i n g s savage love on t he c ove r M eanw h i le at pi tch .co M Attorneys for death-row prisoners say Missouri obtains LETHAL INJECTION DRUGS illegally. JOE’S DOWNTOWN DONUTS & COFFEE is now open. The family-values crowd is SUING GOV. JAY NIXON over an executive order allowing married gay couples to file joint tax returns in Missouri. “The GreaT Omi” by ThOmas sciacca 2 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com Questionnaire Eric MillEr Social-media strategist at Barkley, co-creator of the app Gossup Twitter handle: @schmeric Hometown: Iowa City, Iowa; Olathe Current neighborhood: The West Side What I do (in 140 characters): I tell clients what they should and should not do with social media, I help create apps and I like to party. estimate the romance of analog. S a b r i n a S ta i r e S Time. “I’ve been known to binge-watch …” Adventure “I just read …” All of the Internet. Spoiler alert: Cats and babies take over the world. The best advice I ever got: “Don’t start no shit, it won’t be no shit.” — Lil Jon Worst advice: My high school career test told me I should be a mathematician or a dancer. My sidekick: Adam Sanders and Kevin Bradford. They are my Robin and Batgirl. What’s your addiction? Vinyl. Don’t under What’s your game? KU basketball and tennis What’s your drink? Bell’s Hopslam. It is the nectar of the gods. Where’s dinner? Anywhere on the West Side or Eden Alley. I’m a vegetarian in a barbecue town, but I fully support my carnivorous friends’ lifestyle choices. in Westport My dating triumph/tragedy: My girlfriend told me that our first date was her best date ever. There were literal fireworks that she didn’t know were going to happen. #triumph My brush with fame: Barkley helps the Big Slick charity event with Paul Rudd, Jason Sudeikis and Rob Riggle. It is a pretty awesome event and benefits Children’s Mercy. What’s on your KC postcard? A summer night Finish this sentence: “Kansas City got it right when …” We put an emphasis on art, technology and entrepreneurship. My 140-character soapbox: We have great things going on in Kansas City. Get out and sup port local music, businesses and restaurants. What was the last thing you had to apologize for? I don’t call my mom enough, but I just “Kansas City screwed up when …” We let public education be awful on the Missouri side, mak ing it unattractive for families to live there. mentioned her in The Pitch, so that should count for something. me in the game Sorry, so I guess her. “Kansas City needs more …” Single people. It is hard to date here. Who’s sorry now? My girlfriend keeps beating My recent triumph: Along with two friends, I launched a socialmedia app called Gossup. It is betatesting in Kansas City and Lawrence. Download it on iPhone or Android and try it out! pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 3 “In five years, I’ll be …” A trophy husband. “I always laugh at …” Innocuous words like “balls” when used in a humorous context. Balls, hehheh. GET YOUR FIX. A CANDY-COATED COMPETITION TO NAME Sponsored by $10 TICKETS... ON $12 FEB 1-19 & $15 DAY OF, PENDING AVAILABILITY SA LE NOW! FEBRUARY 20 6 TO 8PM Visit: pitch.com OR Call: 816.561.6061 MP LE TAB LES : CU RR EN T CO NT EN DE RS & SA 2014 The Promise Wedding & Event Space 1814 Oak, KCMO 4 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com News Brighter than gold O n the cover of Ingram’s last month was a man named Steve Mitchem. The business publication was honoring him with one of its “Local Heroes” awards for philanthropic contributions — Mitchem has given $160,000 to the Down Syndrome Guild of Greater Kansas City over the past three years. Mitchem has led an interesting life. He moved to Kansas City in the early 1980s to pursue graduate studies at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He then worked as a traveling evangelist for two years before settling in locally as a full-time minister at the Church of the Nazarene. In 1990, Mitchem went secular, at least professionally. He retired as a minister and joined Tivol, the luxury jewelry company, as an associate at its retail space on the Country Club Plaza. He rose through the ranks and was named president of Tivol in 2005. Here in Kansas City, that’s a powerful, and surely quite lucrative, gig. Yet Mitchem left Tivol two years after being appointed to the post. A story at the time in JCK, a trade publication covering the jewelry industry, reported that he was resigning to “join his son in his loan business.” About that loan business: Technically it is dozens of separate companies, with many different names, but it adds up to one of the largest online payday-lending operations based in Kansas City, according to several individuals with ties to the industry. “Steve was working down at Tivol on the Plaza, and these payday guys kept coming in every other month and buying Rolexes,” a source tells The Pitch. “He figured out that they were basically printing money doing their online-lending businesses, and he wanted in on it. So first, he set his son up in the business. Then he quit Tivol and joined him.” Filings with the secretary of state’s offices in Missouri and Kansas, plus a couple of lawsuits, help back up that account. In December 2006, Tivol’s ex-pres knows where the real money is. By D av iD HuDn a l l Mitchem’s son, Josh Mitchem, filed articles of incorporation in Missouri for a company called Platinum B Services. In 2012, Dustin McDaniel, the attorney general of Arkansas, brought a lawsuit against that company and PDL Support LLC, another company controlled by Josh Mitchem. In the suit, McDaniel alleged that Josh Mitchem and his companies controlled a variety of LLCs, purportedly based in the West Indies federation of St. Kitts and Nevis, that were engaged in lending over the Internet to Arkansas citizens at interest rates as high as 644 percent. Arkansas law caps rates on consumer loans at 17 percent. “The purpose of these LLCs is to make it appear as if the Defendants are not the actual payday lenders and to otherwise shield Defendants from liability from lawsuits such as the one brought by the Attorney General in this case,” the lawsuit states. “The Defendants make the decisions concerning all lending operations from their offices in the Kansas City, MO area.” The Arkansas attorney general’s office also produced evidence that Josh Mitchem responded to consumer complaints mailed to his company by requesting that correspondence be sent to an address in Charlestown, Nevis — despite the fact that his return letters were postmarked in Kansas City. In the settlement that was reached, Josh Mitchem denied any wrongdoing but agreed to stop lending in Arkansas and pay $80,000 to the state. More recently, Josh Mitchem was named in a class-action RICO complaint brought in California against about two dozen players in the payday industry (including MoneyMutual LLC and its spokesman, talk-show host Montel Williams). In it, Mitchem’s company Rare Moon Media is accused in that state of unlicensed lending and of negotiating and signing marketing contracts on behalf of unlicensed lenders. Rare Moon Media was incorporated in Kansas in 2010. In 2011 and 2012, its filings with the secretary of state list Josh Mitchem, Steve Mitchem and Jeremy Shaffer, among others, as the primary stakeholders. Shaffer replaced Steve Mitchem as general manager at Tivol when Mitchem was promoted to president. Jeffrey Wilens, the plaintiffs’ attorney in the RICO suit against Rare Moon Media, says, “The business address for Rare Moon Media is the same West Indies business address as several other lenders making unlicensed loans in the state of California, such as SCS Processing and Everest Cash Advance. The company is either consulting companies who make illegal loans, or it is simply making illegal loans by itself and pretending to be a consultant of some kind. Either way, the service it provides is to aid, abet and facilitate criminals breaking the law in the state of California.” Steve Mitchem told Ingram’s that he splits time between his two homes: One off Ward Parkway in Kansas City, the other in St. Thomas, of the U.S. Virgin Islands. The latter address allows his various business entities (Mitchem Holdings, according to the article) to more comfortably avoid regulatory scrutiny and taxation by the U.S. government. “There are some of us who have been blessed and are fortunate enough to be able to give, and quite frankly, I believe we have that responsibility to get involved financially,” Steve Mitchem told Ingram’s of his philanthropy. “Some people can’t do that. I’m one of those guys who’s fortunate and can do that.” E-mail email@example.com pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 5 It’s a NEW YEAR and that means a NEW YOU ! L I V E D J • N E W S O U N D S Y S T E M • PA R T Y L I G H T I N G SAT & SUN 9 : 30 pm-1 am Resolution GUIDE A bannered section featuring advertising from businesses focused on helping people lose weight, get fit & stop bad habits. Promote your business to more than 80,000 Pitch readers who want to be a better, healthier person in 2014. Call your account executive today at 816.561.6061. 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What the New York developer behind Mission Gateway says about the retail project at Roe Avenue and Johnson Drive, in Mission, isn’t really an insight of what will happen at the 26-acre site. It’s a strong indicator of what won’t happen there. Valenti bought the Mission Mall site in 2005 and tore it down, promising to remake it into all kinds of different things that haven’t panned out. Only last summer did dirt start moving at the barren site, which has been covered by weeds for the last eight years. But in mid-December came another announcement of yet another delay. Anyone who has followed this project — even from afar — shouldn’t be surprised. Delays in development projects aren’t unusual. But Valenti has broken more than his share of promises regarding what the site would be and when construction would start. He’s getting $37 million in public money — and possibly more — to build Mission Gateway, so it’s not just a matter of a private businessman who’s slow to get his plans moving. The Pitch looked back into local media archives, dating back to 2005, to reality-check Valenti’s statements of what would happen at the Mission Gateway location. Here’s what we found. continued on page 8 pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 7 Mission Not Accomplished continued from page 7 Valenti was partly correct. The Mission Mall site did come down. And in its place Valenti proposed a 16-story hotel-condominium tower, along with an office tower and some other retail. But nothing got built there in August or September or any month in 2007. Or in subsequent years, for that matter. “The mall will be torn down. I am hoping the development will reopen — or open — in August or September of 2007.” (October 22, 2005, The Kansas City Star) Lehman Brothers started its implosion in earnest by mid-2008, a tangible sign of the economy collapsing that year. Valenti rode the wave of the credit crisis to explain another stalled deadline to breaking ground at Mission Gateway. “I’m hopeful in the spring (of 2009) we can build the whole thing.” (October 31, 2008, the Star) “The earliest Valenti sees any construction occurring on the high-profile site at Shawnee Mission Parkway and Roe Avenue is spring 2010.” (May 19, 2009, the Star) What could possibly be more run-ofthe-mill than Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retailer, which has emerged as the anchor tenant for Mission Gateway? Twenty WalMart stores are in the Kansas City area. Other tenants that have been announced at Mission Gateway are hardly unique to the metro: Sprouts Farmers Market, also going to Overland Park’s Corbin Park development; Aspen Fitness Center, which has locations in Olathe, Lee’s Summit, Liberty and the Northland. Also, Mission Gateway will be the only place in Kansas City to boast a Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill, but only because its previous location at Harrah’s Casino closed. “[Valenti] is seeking locally owned merchants who aren’t the ‘same old run of the mill tenants,’ he said.” (October 10, 2006, the Star) Spring of 2009 became the spring of 2010 for Valenti’s groundbreaking. At the earliest. Valenti’s best-laid, unrealized plans units became 145, and the proposed office space was cut in half. Valenti sweetened the Mission Gateway pot in 2007 with the idea of a grandiose, 2.5-million-gallon aquarium. It was obviously a ploy to fetch sales-tax revenue (STAR) bonds from Kansas officials. STAR bonds are lucrative inducements that plow local and state sales taxes generated within a development back into the project itself. STAR bonds go only to projects likely to attract visitors from faraway places, such as the Kansas Speedway in Wyandotte County. Valenti would later hire a consultant who posited that the Mission Gateway aquarium would attract more than 3 million visitors “With the aquarium, we think the project works.” (September 1, 2007, the Star) “Gateway Developers managing member Tom Valenti said he hopes the Gateway will open in fall 2008. However, he said, spring 2009 may be more realistic. ‘There are always zigs and zags,’ he said. ‘And you try to accommodate the market.’ ” (April 25, 2007, the Star) With the original 2007 deadline long overdue, Valenti zigzagged his sights to later in 2008. In the tradition of over-promising and under-delivering, Valenti had scaled down the 16-story hotel-condo idea to a six-story hotel. The original 350 residential a year, a million of whom would come to northeast Johnson County from more than 100 miles away. Only five attractions in Kansas City — the Power & Light District, Ameristar Casino, Harrah’s Casino, Kauffman Stadium and Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun — attract more than a million visitors a year from anywhere, according to the Kansas City Business Journal. Valenti changed his plans — and his deadline — again in late 2010. This time, he doubled down on office space in Mission by scaling back his allotment of retail space. Retail was still in the doldrums, and two major Kansas City companies were on the market for new office space. It’s likely he was hoping to land law firm Polsinelli Shughart or AMC Entertainment Inc. Neither panned out. Polsinelli was never going to leave the Country Club Plaza — or KCMO — and AMC opted for the tony Park Place development in Leawood. “‘I intend to be out of the ground by June ,’ he said Friday. ‘I’ll make a pledge that I won’t give up on this.’” (December 4, 2010, the Star) “I think this is poorly planned by the Kansas City economic development people or whoever is pushing this. We’re going to win the race.” (August 19, 2008, the Star) “We are encouraged that we’re going to be successful. We’re close on several deals and still have the deals we already had in place, but in light of the fact it’s May, our best case is to begin in September.” (May 17, 2011, the Star ) Valenti poked a stick in the eye of Kansas City, Missouri, officials who coveted an aquarium of their own. Read on to find out if his pronouncement of victory in the Great Kansas City Aquarium Duel worked out. The pledge that Valenti had bandied about in December 2010 — to start building in the summer of 2011 — didn’t last long. By May 2011, he didn’t have his ducks in a row and pushed his start date back once more. “‘ We now have the rocket fuel to get the project off the ground,’ Valenti said, referring to Wal-Mart.” (November 15, 2011, the Star ) Get the most out of your new gadget at JoCoLibrary.org/eLibrary Your story starts here 8 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO SEE Valenti’s decision to sign Wal-Mart to Mission Gateway and Mission’s decision to go along with it were grimly ironic. Real-estate firm Copaken White & Blitt (now Copaken Brooks) owned the old Mission Mall site before Valenti did. The firm tried to sell the site before 2005 to Wal-Mart to build a retail store there. But Mission officials gave the firm enough guff about building another Wal-Mart there that it abandoned the idea. There are already two Wal-Mart stores relatively close to Mission Gateway. One is in Overland Park, just off Interstate 35 near the 75th Street interchange. The other is much closer, as in less than a mile away in Roeland Park, off Roe Avenue and 51st Street. Wal-Mart plans to leave that Roeland Park site as soon as it’s able to open up at Mission Gateway, a move that will cost Roeland Park $700,000 a year in sales-tax revenue. That’s a big chunk of Roeland Park’s tiny municipal budget — so big that some city officials considered, for a time, getting rid of the police force. Kansas lawmakers thought about killing off STAR bonds in 2012 because of Mission Gateway. It’s one thing to poach companies from Missouri using tax incentives, but quite another to use them in a project to lure a neighboring suburban city’s largest tax generator. The glittering pipe dream of an alternate future “This is our choice. It was market-driven. I’ve been at this since 2005, and I don’t easily give up. It literally breaks my heart to not do the aquarium, because I think it would have been a resounding success, but I didn’t have time to wait. I have to get going.” (June 12, 2012, the Star) Valenti abandoned the aquarium to no one’s great surprise. Almost four years after mocking Kansas City, Missouri, officials for pursuing their own aquarium and predicting that he would win the race to finally realize one, Sea Life Aquarium got built at Crown Center, and Mission Gateway’s got capsized. That same article included his prediction that construction would start in the fall of 2012. Log onto Gofobo.com/RSVP and enter the code: PITCHFNXA to download an admit-two pass to see the movie on Tuesday, January 28th at 7:00PM. THIS FILM IS RATED R. Passes are awarded on a first come, first serve basis, while supplies last. LIMIT ONE COMPLIMENTARY ADMIT-TWO PASS PER PERSON. Sponsors and their dependents are not eligible to receive a pass. Screening is overbooked to ensure capacity. 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IN THEATERS JANUARY 31 www.ThatAwkwardMomentMovie.com “We now have the rocket fuel to the ground.” THE PITCH THURS. 01/16/14 4 COLOR 2.305” X 4.822” RM ALL.TAM-P.0116.PITCH get the project off Valenti missed another promise to start construction by the fall of 2012 and pushed it back to early 2013. “Sprouts Family [sic] Market plans to occupy space in the Mission Gateway project, and the developer said Tuesday he expected to break ground on the project by early next year.” (August 28, 2012, the Star) “I’ve got to tell you, I think we’re going to land an office tenant relatively soon. It’s a great location.” (November 15, 2011, Kansas City Business Journal ) More than two years after this statement, office towers aren’t in Mission Gateway’s plans. “It’s been a long haul, and we’re just thrilled to get started with work.” (July 17, 2013, the Star) A half-decade following his first construction timeline, Valenti finally got trucks out to the Mission Mall site and started pushing dirt around. The victory would be short-lived. Construction didn’t start during the summer of 2012. Valenti also didn’t get his STAR bonds. Read on. “Valenti plans to begin construction this summer if the STAR bond application is renewed and he can lease at least one of the three retail spaces above the Wal-Mart.” (February 28, 2012, the Star) “We’re finishing up leasing with potentially new and different tenants. That’s been part of the holdup. Everything is taking far longer than I thought.” (December 18, 2013, the Star) Mission Gateway is taking far longer than we all thought. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 9 GET WAISTED. FREE WITH REGISTRATION. PRESENTED BY: JAN. 25 - FEB.4 CLASS SCHEDULE: SATURDAY, JANUARY 25 MONDAY, JANUARY 27 TUESDAY, JANUARY 28 6:00 PM WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 29 6:35 PM 5:30 PM JUST ADDED! 8:00 PM 5:00 PM 9:00 AM 7:00 PM 6:00 PM 6:00 PM JUST ADDED! THURSDAY, JANUARY 30 FRIDAY, JANUARY 31 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1 MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4 9:00 AM 12:30 PM 5:30 PM P p Less than 2 weeks away. Sign up for your free class today! Sign up today! Class are filling up fast & will be limited to each studio’s capacity. Please arrive 15-30 minutes early. 10 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 Visit fitnesscrawl.com for advance registration. pitch.com WEEK OF JANUARY 16-22, 2014 BIRD NOTES Chuck Haddix talks Charlie Parker. See page 15. Daily listings on page 28 pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch ď‚ś 11 Sunday February 16, 2014 10:00AM- 4:00 PM Overland Park Convention Center 12 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com art SongS From the odditorium Thomas Sciacca’s carnival of illustrated men and women By K r y s t in A r ne s on Sciacca (far left) researched a lost carnival world for his new show. L S a b r i n a S ta i r e S ast year, some friends of the artist Thomas Sciacca asked him to paint some furniture with circus scenes to sell at their store, Rock Candy Boutique. Though Sciacca had long wanted to illustrate the sideshow world, he was skeptical about its place on home furnishings. But then the pieces he had adorned began flying out of the store. Soon, he started work on his own series, the results of which are now on view in the exhibition Sideshow Serenade, at Todd Weiner Gallery. Sciacca met The Pitch there to walk us through some of the works. The Pitch: Are these figures based on actual characters, or are they from ads and other imagery you’ve researched or straight from your imagination? Sciacca: I would say all three, but the bulk of the content of the show is based on real characters, real performers, real banners. Actually, the banners had ridiculous liberties taken. People would see a banner and expect Penguin Boy was going to be some mythical creature, and the person would go inside and see some short little guy with stubby arms smoking a cigarette. And they were quite disenchanted. Which is your favorite? This guy. [Points behind him to “Hindu Fakir.”] What’s his deal? His deal is that he comes from a little tiny drawing in an old magic book from the 1920s. an alcoholic. But that stuff I didn’t see any reason to go into. When I was 11, I was already in love with Lobster Boy was a well-known character. magic. Because it was drawn in the ’20s, it His feet and his hands only had two large had these scenes of magicians dressed in a tuxedo at some Gatsby–like Long Island din- digits, which gave him this sort of lobsterner party. The women were all elegant. And I like appearance. They showed him in a very positive light: smiling and happy. But the thought, “Man, I want to be in that world!” But other side of his life was that he was a raging there was one page in the book that showed this Hindu fakir, a street musician, putting alcoholic and was eventually murdered by one of his kids because he was just an abusive, a dagger through his cheek. And all these years later, when I was researching and go- bullying individual. That’s one of the few darker stories, but some of ing through material for the them — it’s just to be faithful show, I saw him again and Thomas Sciacca: to the subject matter. I thought, “I’ve gotta use Sideshow Serenade Back then, the audience this.” By now, I’m looking Through March 1 at for these acts revolved around at my former self, and my Todd Weiner Gallery, 115 West the fascination for the otherown innocence and the 18th Street, 816-984-8538 ness of the sideshows. Are we things that excited me back still fascinated by that otherthen. There are a lot of good ness, or are we more curious about the long-ago memories associated with this guy. interest in it? Do they have stories that you want to draw The people who have bought prints or had out when you’re actually depicting them? things to tell me about it, they’re fascinated, During the research phase, the research would reveal to me, yeah — there was a guy I think, by the novelty of these images. They seem to trigger off positive associations with who had half a body, and maybe the research people. A lot of people don’t know that some of told me some details about his life. There was these are based on real characters, but people a character named Popeye, who would pop his eyeballs out. That’s what he did when he are responding more to the unusual nature and the fact that I have not made them too was passed out. But the research also revealed grotesque. that this was an unfortunate fellow. He was Who’s in “Sweet Marie”? She was a real character and she was unfairly depicted as very happy. This image was designed to transform her obesity into something fun, hence all of the circular lines. And “Mona”? She was a burlesque sideshow attraction. I intended to make her a bit sexier than the original banner — a kind of innocent, fun, cheesecake sexy. “Omi”? This is based on another real character, one that makes for an extremely graphic image. Tell me about “Spookarama.” Spook-a-Rama was built in the 1950s at Coney Island. It’s a spookhouse, and it had several cyclops figures adorning the entrance over the decades. I was tickled by how ridiculous this smiling mouth was and is, and that this is an easy character to remember. Most of these seem pretty unforgettable. The original graphics, they excite me. There’s something about old magic posters. There’s a romance and a mystery there that just really influenced me to become an illustrator. This is the stuff that fed me back when I was a kid. I don’t understand my own obsessions. I no longer try. E-mail email@example.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 13 pitch.com s ta g e She and him MET dresses down for a fine M. Butterf ly revival. By L i z C ook D avid Henry Hwang’s M. Butterfly opens with high romance in mind, stating a Pride and Prejudice–like truth universally acknowledged: “All men want a beautiful woman, and the uglier the man, the greater the want.” Metropolitan Ensemble Theatre keeps the man and the want at the fore of a haunting production. The lights come up on Rene Gallimard, the former diplomat who narrates most of the play from a cramped prison cell. Through fragmented flashbacks of his time at the French embassy in China, Gallimard reveals his unwitting treason and his seduction — of and by — Song Liling, a Peking Opera performer and peddler of male fantasies. The delineation between particular scenes and times is hazy, suggested at MET only by dim projections and subtle color shifts in Lacey Pacheco’s lights. We feel trapped in Gallimard’s prison of imagination as we stumble, dreamlike, through sequences and scenes that bleed into one another, filtered through the fog of memory. The staging further muddles the timeline: Recollections unfold in the same playing area as Gallimard’s contemporary prison reflections, and repeated interiors are rarely anchored in a consistent place. role in the dance for dominance. Despite the It starts simply enough. After watching character’s ineptitude, Brand never stoops to Song Liling perform the death scene from Puccini’s Madame Butterfly, Gallimard pursues playing him as ridiculous. In his honest treatment of Gallimard’s flaws and failures, Brand her with fanatical devotion. To him, Liling achieves a nearly impossible is the perfect woman: beaufeat: making the character’s tiful, demure, submissive. M. Butterfly delusions seem more sympaShe’s also, crucially, a man, Through January 26 at thetic than pathetic. though Gallimard, blinded Metropolitan Ensemble Vi Tran inhabits Liling by desire, fails or refuses to Theatre, 3614 Main, with commitment and poise, notice. Female roles on the 816-569-3226, metkc.org mastering feminine posPeking opera stage once were tures and seducing us with filled by male performers for ethereal grace. Tran is a skilled and responsive a reason; as Liling jokes caustically, “Only a man knows how a woman is supposed to act.” performer, allowing glimpses of authentic vulnerability to peek through Liling’s carefully Robert Gibby Brand plays Gallimard as an crafted female persona. earnestly confident man eager to perform his B o B Pa i s l e y Vi Tran’s Liling isn’t who she appears to be. M. Butterfly is, at its core, an intimate dialogue between Gallimard and Liling, but a small and talented supporting cast helps flesh out the script. Nancy Nail is affecting as Gallimard’s spurned wife, Helga, and Alan Tilson inhabits various supporting characters with precision in voice and gesture. Erika Crane Ricketts, a newcomer to MET, is particularly strong, lending an indispensable energy to her portrayal of the commanding Comrade Chin. The technical elements are understated, and the pared-down treatment plays well in MET’s intimate space. The alley seating con- figuration mirrors last year’s Ragtime, and the bare stage of Karen Paisley’s set design offers a flexible space for the play’s multiple settings. Minimal set dressing — rehearsal cubes and the odd piece of furniture — keeps the scene changes speedy. Spectacle (and there is some) emerges instead through intricate dancing and fighting, developed through a partnership with the show’s original Broadway choreographer, Jamie H.J. Guan. Director Linda Ade Brand maintains taut dramatic action as she subtly teases out the show’s complex themes. In nearly every scene, we watch Gallimard fussing with Genevieve Beller’s sharp costumes: dressing or undressing, unbuttoning a coat or knotting a new tie. It’s a smart way to underscore plot points on gender performance and on clothing as costume, though it grows conspicuous as a bit of stage business when the actors are given little else to do. M. Butterfly succeeds, however, in tackling heady themes with a light hand. Over the course of three acts, Hwang addresses a laundry list of sociopolitical ills: Asian fetishism, Western “rape mentality,” Vietnam War espionage, the politics of penis size. The play won the 1988 Tony Award for Best Play, and for good reason: Hwang deftly intertwines commentary on each of these notions without allowing anything to feel didactic or overwrought. This is due, in part, to his complex treatment of Gallimard, a man who, when his sexist, imperialist, insert-your-own-ist fantasy is exposed, chooses the fantasy anyway. “We are always most revolted by the things hidden within us,” Liling says near the end of the play, and that different universal truth scorches like an indictment. Hwang and MET force us to confront our own fetishes and fantasies. What we do with them is up to us. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org THURS 7p 14 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com pages Charlie and ChuCk Haddix’s Parker bio captures Bird. ird is like Mozart,” Chuck Haddix says of Charlie Parker. “He changed everything in music. There’s music before Charlie Parker, and there’s music after Charlie Parker.” The Kansas City, Kansas-born saxophonist, Haddix adds, “influenced everyone from Moondog to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and inspired writers, sculptors, playwrights, filmmakers and choreographers.” What Parker hasn’t inspired before, says Haddix — who runs the University of Missouri– Kansas City’s Marr Sound Archives and broadcasts a gleeful eight hours of jazz and blues every weekend on KCUR 89.3 — is a biography that’s true to the facts. “A lot of what’s been written about him has been inaccurate or has taken a novelistic approach,” he says. Bird: The Life and Music of Charlie Parker, which the University of Illinois Press issued this past fall, addresses that void. Haddix spent the better part of a decade working on the book (following up Kansas City Jazz: From Ragtime to Bebop — A History, the essential 2005 volume he co-wrote with Frank Driggs), distilling deep research and his own interviews with Parker’s contemporaries into a fast-moving, musically astute primer. It also offers a satisfying glimpse into local history — KC as both segregation battleground and jazz playground. The Pitch: What’s Parker’s legacy, here and beyond? Haddix: Jazz is improvisation, and his gift was, he was a great improviser. Most of his songs are based on chord changes in popular songs. He’s a culmination of previous musical traditions, of the whole tradition. He began his career in 1935 as a 15-year-old, when Bennie Moten and Count Basie were still around [KC]. The late-night contests, the improvising in clubs — that’s what really shaped him. He was a rising star locally, as a member of Jay McShann’s band and Buster Smith’s band. John Tumino’s son Bob donated John’s collection [the John B. Tumino Collection, outlined on the Marr website], and I came across an acetate disc marked “February 6, 1941: Jay McShann, with Joe Coleman on vocals.” I knew Bird was in the group at this time. I put the needle in the groove and heard Bird just take wing on “I’m Getting Sentimental Over You.” I played it at a conference last fall, and it blew the audience away. Is that streaming on the Marr Web page? I haven’t streamed it yet. It’s a previously unknown recording, and I’m working out the licensing and the rights. How did your listening evolve as you worked on the book? By S c o t t W il S on B Haddix speaks Sunday. What gave me a deeper understanding of his work was researching the circumstances behind his recording sessions. He lived in the moment, which is probably what made him such a great improviser. He’d go to a recording session and have just a rough sketch of what he wanted to do, and get the other musicians to follow. What surprised you most as you gathered material and conducted interviews? The standard story had been that he was born in KCK and moved to 1516 Olive and lived in the African-American community. But he really grew up in a mixed-race, white, middleclass neighborhood, and he went to school in Westport. Did that make a difference? I think it had a profound effect on him. He learned how to navigate the white world early on. His bands were integrated at a time when bands weren’t very integrated. He always fronted mixed-race groups. He went to the West Coast and hired Chet Baker, and that angered some people. Where in KC would you take someone who wanted to understand where Parker came from? Bird’s grave [in Lincoln Cemetery]. It’s peaceful, humble — you feel a real connection with him. What’s your next big project? I want to write about the Coon-Sanders Original Nighthawk Orchestra. They broadcast from the Plantation Grill in the Hotel Muehlebach. Al Capone was a fan. They knew everybody. Haddix discusses his new book at 2 p.m. Sunday, January 19, at the Kansas City Central Library, 14 West 10th Street. RSVP at kclibrary.org. GIVE THE GIFT OF 4 PARTIES IN 2014! PASSPORTS HIT ALL OF THESE ‘ s EVENTS SUGAR RUSH • BACON & BOURBON FESTIVAL • TASTE OF KC • PITCH MUSIC AWARDS WE KNOW TIMES ARE TOUGH SO WE’RE MAKING OUR EVENTS MORE AFFORDABLE FOR YOU! E-mail email@example.com CALL 816.561.6061 FOR MORE INFO pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 15 THE MAJ EST IC R ESTA URA NT RYE SUS HI H OUS E 16 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com AFF ÄRE 75T H ST REE T BR EWE RY MAK ER’S MAR K BO URB ON HOU SE & LOU NGE Prepare Your Palates • January 17-26 More than 125 of the region’s top restaurants have come together for Kansas City’s premier dining event. Enjoy 10 days of multi-course menus at an extraordinary value—$15 for lunch and $33 for dinner. Visit KCRestaurantWeek.com for menus, reservations and a free app for your phone. KC Restaurant Week benefits Harvesters-The Community Food Network, the KC Regional Destination Foundation and the GKCRA Education Foundation. PLATINUM SPONSOR FOUNDING SPONSORS GOLD SPONSORS IMAGES BY LANDON VONDERSCHMIDT PHOTOGRAPHY pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 17 HUDDLE HOUSE STARTING AT VALUES MONDAY-SATURDAY NEW MENU ITEMS COMING IN JANUARY 2014! All You Can Eat Buffet $3.99 $ .99 + tax 7 UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP & READY TO SERVE YOU! Any Meal. Any Time. 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BEST BURGERS Home of KC’s L I V E entertainment Starting at 8pm Restaurant Week Special LUNCH DINNER Ja nu ar y 17 -2 6 $15 2 Flea Market Burgers t Burgers & $30 2 Flea Marke choice) 2 Beers (or beverage of your THURSDAYS ~ ACOUSTIC FRIDAYS ~ DJs SATURDAYS ~ LIVE BANDs 817 Westport Rd • Kansas City, MO 64111 • 816.931.1986 39th Street Market, formerly known as World of Spirits, invites you to join us at our new home! G rab & G o G roceries Same Market Café & Deli Kansas City, MO 64111 816.931.7579 Mon-Sat: 7am-1:30am Sun: 9am-midnight @MESTIZO Located at Park Place ~ 5270 W. 116 Place ~ Leawood, KS 66211 th 913-752-9025 - mestizoleawood.com january 16 -22, 2014 f r ie n d ly , le k n o w le d g e a b staff! 1850 W 39th St FOLLOW US ON 18 the pitch pitch.com CAfé The Red edge t’s been a long time since a Plaza restaurant justified its buzz. The sexy, inventive new Italian establishment inside the new Hotel Sorella does — and then some. Rosso (it means red in Italian) is a fresh, vibrant addition to the Country Club Plaza. The seventh-floor restaurant is officially Italiano only during the evening, and even then, executive chef More Brian Archibald stresses that he’s not turning t out that country’s traa e in Onl .com ditional cuisine. “I don’t h c it p want people to think they can come here for a plate of scampi,” he says. For that, after all, you can still go elsewhere on the Plaza. And I don’t want scampi here anyway, not when I can have Archibald’s starter of roasted prawns, offered on a cloud of creamy herbed polenta. Better yet, I can eat more of the wood-roasted prawns that come atop a dish of linguini tossed very discreetly in fresh basil pesto. According to the menu, that latter dish isn’t pesto linguini but “Linguini (pesto-ish).” The menu has a tendency toward cuteness — especially on the dessert list — expressed primarily with an abundance of quotation marks, as in a risotto verde that lists among its ingredients green olive “dirt”). That sounds grating on paper, but when you’re sitting in this sleek but informal space, it’s just another sly detail in a very likable venue. It’s far less serious than you’d expect from a place where the average dinner tab for two runs at least a C-note. Is Rosso worth the dough? Absolutely. The dining room — done in shades of Pompeian red and black with soft white upholstered furnishings — is shiny and sophisticated and inviting. And Archibald’s culinary sensibility is as distinctive as that of the hot young chefs in Westport or the Crossroads (other parts of town where scampi is, thankfully, off the table. The first night I dined here, I was seated at a table near the windows, which overlook not the postcard-pretty Plaza but the winding stretch of Ward Parkway leading to the neighborhood’s western side. I found myself preferring that view, with flowing headlight ribbons replacing post-holiday Plaza lights and the strolling shoppers. There’s something deliciously subversive in a room confident enough to face the wrong way. Th is renegade qua l it y ex tends to Archibald’s spin on Italian favorites. The spaghetti and “meatball,” for example, is made not with spaghetti but with the thicker, On the Plaza’s western border, Rosso finds a brilliant new color for Italian. By Ch a r l e s F e r ru z z a Rosso • Hotel Sorella, 901 West 48th Street, 816-753-8800 • Hours: 6:30–10 a�m�, 11 a�m�–2:30 p�m�, 5:30–10 p�m� Sunday–Thursday; 6:30–10 a�m�, 11 a�m�–2:30 p�m�, 5:30–11 p�m� Friday–Saturday • Price: $$–$$$ I Café AngelA C. Bond were so rich that I almost regretted having started the meal with a cup of luscious cream ropier bucatini noodle and topped with a soup made with parsnips, Granny Smith apples and chestnuts. Almost. (More regrettable single, handball-size sphere of pork, veal is that you can’t have this nearly perfect soup and beef molded around a center of meaty Bolognese sauce. At $28, it’s one of the least as a main course with, say, a few slices of costly dishes on the dinner menu, and it’s nutty, crusty bread. I made a separate trip to sample Rosso’s memorably satisfying. That goes as well ruby-red beef carpaccio, sliced from Kanfor one of the better starters, a big bowl of sas wagyu and arranged peppery wild-boar sausage like flower petals around a smothered in a parmesan Rosso pile of spicy arugula lightly broth and scattered over and Parsnip-apple-chestnut dressed in lemon juice and around the lightest, most soup �������������������������������������$8 olive oil. It’s not an inexpendelicate pillows of gnocchi Kansas wagyu beef carpaccio ���������������������������$16 sive starter, but on the bitter you’ll find in the metro. Spaghetti night I ordered it — seated The menu isn’t elaborate. and “meatball” ���������������� $28 this time near the room’s There are just 10 entrées, Citrus-braised glass-paned gas fireplace — I and only one of them, a veal short ribs ����������������� $38 felt that I deserved it. (This risotto with fresh asparaLinguini (pesto-ish) ����������$32 room makes you feel a cergus and summery sweet “S’mores” and berries��������� $7 tain welcome entitlement. peas, is meatless. But when Own the feeling.) Archibald scores, he does so I was certainly treated as if I deserved it. masterfully. Case in point, a gorgeous dish The service at Rosso is low-key but gracious of succulent veal short ribs, braised for six and observant. The restaurant’s manager, hours with blood-orange juice and lemon Dean Smith, knows his stuff: He was the zest and served with a jumble of pappardelle streamers, disarmingly tart from an eva- general manager at the legendary Starker’s for years. nescent blood-orange-butter sauce. The ribs Red inspires décor and dishes at Rosso� The dessert list at Rosso is unabashedly arty, centering on such dishes as open-fired rosemary-mascarpone cheesecake and almond-butter cups made w ith burnt bananas. I usually detest deconstructed sweets and s’mores about equally, but the “s’mores” and berries here somehow won me over. If you think those ingredients don’t really go together, well, that’s why you share. I liked nibbling on the dessert’s house-made honey marshmallows and intensely flavored cinnamon malted ice cream, while my dining companion gobbled up its pieces of dark chocolate and fresh berries. As in all hotel dining rooms, Rosso wears a different daytime personality. The breakfast menu is straightforward, and the lunch selections include somewhat smaller versions of a few dinner items. Oddly, there’s also a midday version of a blue-plate staple, the sloppy Joe; this one, though, is made with lamb, pork, veal and beef poked into freshly baked bread. I suppose, by now, I don’t have to tell you that it’s called the sloppy Luigi — or that it’s terrific. Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 19 pitch.com Need A Drink? fat c i t y Souped up or a few weeks each year, Kansas City winters make it impossible to get warm. No amount of long underwear or itchy wool socks help, so we cuss more than usual. We dream of being able to use “winter” as a verb: “This year I am going to winter in San Diego.” One time, I shoved hand warmers in my pants before I walked to Broadway Café — true story. Midwest weather can be brutal. Before you start thinking that this whole concept of “seasons” is overrated, warm up with one of these local soups. For 20 minutes, they’ll take your mind off the cold — or whatever winter woes may be troubling you. 1. Seafood pho at Vietnam Café after shoveling all the snow that none of the neighbors would. Much like heated floor tiles or hot yoga, the word pho is enough to increase my core temperature. This traditional Vietnamese soup is fairly simple. It contains broth, rice noodles, herbs and beef or chicken, though tofu can be substituted for the meat. At Vietnam Café (2200 West 39th Avenue, Kansas City, Kansas), protein options also include brisket, pork or seafood. The dish is made with spices imported from Southeast Asia and served with a side plate of garnishes: fresh bean sprouts, basil, cilantro, jalapeños, and lime wedges. Pho is the culinary equivalent of a Beach Boys song — it warms you from the inside out. You might say it soothes the soul. 2. “Soupy” chili at Dixon’s Chili Parlor because you haven’t seen the sun in a week and just need a damn nap. Dixon’s (9105 East U.S. Highway 40, Independence) has been dishing up beans and beef for the fine people of Independence since 1919. In addition to its recipes, the restaurant hasn’t much changed its appearance. The plain Formica tabletops and neon sign provide a nostalgic, no-nonsense ambience. People come here for one reason: to shovel down-home foodstuffs into their face holes. That said, this venerable institution’s take on chili is probably a little different from what you grew up eating. It arrives on a plate instead of in a bowl, and you can order it dry, soupy or greasy. According to our friendly waitress, a veteran in the art of chili assemblage, the greasy version involves “meat grease,” so I went with the soupy, which contains bean broth. Extra ingredients are available on the side. I seasoned mine with onions, cheese, jalapeños, pickles, vinegar and chili powder. It’s kind of a DIY operation, so it’s rewarding when you get the flavor just right. 3. Sweet-potato soup with crème fraîche By A ngel A l u t z Four soups to keep you warm during this cold patch F BECOME A Stroud’s: chicken soup for your frozen soul and slivered almonds at Room 39, for when you have feelings you don’t understand. This intimate space has become an area favorite thanks to its ever-changing seasonal menu of locally grown and raised items. (The winter offerings highlight Campo Lindo Farms, in Lathrop, Missouri.) Whatever you do, don’t go to Room 39 (1719 West 39th Street) expecting to have a cheap, light dinner. With options including sheep’s-milk cheese (from Green Dirt Farm, in Weston) and wine-steamed mussels, you’ll want to try a bit of everything; in fact, you should probably just spring for the fourcourse tasting menu so you don’t miss out. The night I stumbled in from the cold, the restaurant was serving sweet-potato soup, which was rich, creamy and satisfying without being too thick or filling. It also wasn’t too heavily seasoned, so the potatoes’ natural sweetness still surfaced. Upon finishing it, I announced my intention to order more and marry it. 4. Chicken noodle soup at Stroud’s, because you need to call your mom back already. When I tell people I haven’t eaten at Stroud’s (4200 Shawnee Mission Parkway, Fairway), they act like I just punched their grandmother. Mouth agape, eyes bulging, they’re shocked and borderline offended. “Really?” they say, unable to fathom this reality. It’s the same way people react when I tell them I haven’t seen Star Wars. But after finally dining at this 80-year-old Kansas City mainstay, I get it. The place has been serving up Helen Stroud’s recipes for longer than most of us have been alive. Most important, the food is damn good. I tried a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and it was like the kind my mom used to make, with hearty chunks of meat and thick egg noodles. The broth was so flavorful and warming that I wanted to take some with me in a to-go thermos. INSIDER Find by time, feature, name or location on your iphone/ blackberry/android. Check out mobile happy hour app happy hours NEWSLETTER http://www.pitch.com/kansascity/NewsletterInfoRegistration/Page MISSOURI’S SMALLEST BREWERY SIGN UP FOR OUR VOTED BEST LOCAL NANO BREWER (ALMOST) & BEER FOR $9 MON - FRI 11AM - 2PM 4010 PENNSYLVANIA KCMO ANY BURGER GREENROOMKC.COM | 20 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 816.216.7682 GREENROOMKC E-mail email@example.com pitch.com fat c i t y ARE YOU READY FOR By Snack Rack Jon at h a n Be nder THE GAME? ANY LARGE SPECIALTY PIZZA, ONLY PIZZA CO IN TOWN OFFERING: NO CREDIT CARD REQUIRED FOR ONLINE ORDERS. PAY UPON DELIVERY. Cinder Block trucks in some food from the family. 1 SMALL ORDER OF BREAD STICKS, ORDER OF WINGS & A 2 LITER $23.99 SAVE $10 COUPON EXPIRES PRESENT THIS COUPON 02.03.13 OFFER AVAIL FOR DELIVERY ONLY•816.931.FOOD FREE DELIVERY UNTIL 4AM • DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE ON LARGE GROUP ORDERS SEE FULL MENU AT DOWNTOWNPIZZACOMPANY.COM TODAY! NOT O n a Friday when the temperature will dip below freezing, Cinder Block Brewery’s kitchen is parked just outside. Chase Schaffter, 28, and Stephanie Simon, 27, co-owners of the Back Rack Grill — North Kansas City’s first food truck — are getting ready to receive orders via the iPad on the bar in the brewery’s taproom. As Simon’s sister zests four cases of oranges inside, for the Weathered Wit slated for brewing over the weekend, customers ask for pulled-pork sliders and cheesy fries. “The first day we opened was an ice storm,” Schaffter says. “But thankfully, my smoker is triple-insulated, so we can smoke when it’s 2 degrees or 100 degrees outside.” When Cinder Block (110 East 18th Avenue) opened last September, drinkers soon asked for more than pretzels to go with their Pavers Porter. “People wanted something to snack on,” Cinder Block owner Bryce Schaffter says. “And they wanted to hang out longer at the brewery, which means they needed food.” So Schaffter turned to Chase, a cousin who had helped him with the final stages of Cinder Block’s construction. Chase has been barbecuing competitively for the past 18 months, spending, by his account, every weekend smoking meats over hickory and pecan wood. Bryce asked Chase what he thought about running a food truck for Cinder Block. A week later, Chase found an old Hostess bread truck near the Lake of the Ozarks. He recruited his girlfriend, Simon, to help develop recipes and staff the truck on Saturdays. While the Back Rack Grill was outfitted with a new generator, an air conditioner and a kitchen, Chase approached North Kansas City about licensing the food truck. The city agreed to grant him an itinerant merchant license, which allows him to vend outside Cinder Block. If he wants to take the truck elsewhere, he’ll have to apply for a separate license. Schaffter and Simon are up and running. The menu’s 13 items, including sides, are still being tweaked. Chase is working to perfect his burger and wants to start offering ribs, which he considers one of his specialties (along with his burnt ends). The early favorite among the bar set has been the barbecue-brisket nachos ($9): a stack of tortilla chips loaded with cheese sauce, pico de gallo, brisket, and Back Rack’s barbecue sauce that Chase makes with a tomato-molasses base. On New Year’s Eve, he debuted a smoked-salmon sub ($9 with a side), topped with a mustard marinade and house-made coleslaw. “These are all things you’re supposed to want with beer,” Simon says. As for those sides, the onion rings are beerbattered and feature Cinder Block’s Northtown Native. There’s also a version of cheesy potatoes: hash browns with a cheese mix — Simon says it includes cheddar but doesn’t elaborate further — that could become the bar’s signature food. “My grandmother is a heck of a cook,” Simon says. “She didn’t even give me the whole recipe the first time. But if someone tries them, they’ve never had better ones.” The Back Rack Grill is named for the stand that Chase has built. In the coming months, he’ll mount his 1,000-pound vertical smoker on the back of the white food truck. “If you can make it in Kansas City doing barbecue, you can make it anywhere,” Chase says. “You know that if you put in the time, use wood and charcoal, that it will be a lot more work, but it usually turns out the right way.” The Back Rack Grill is open from noon to 9 p.m. Saturdays. Schaffter and Simon plan to extend the hours after the first month of operation. BREAKFAST: MON-FRI: 7-NOON SAT: 7-12PM SUN: 8-1:30PM MON-SAT: 11-3PM SUN: 11-1:30PM LUNCH: 409 W. Gregory KCMO 816.444.1933 www.theclassiccookie.com FEATURED •DE A LS• LLYWELYN’S PUB PINKIE COUTURE $50 COLOR SERVICE FOR ONLY $25 $20 CERTIFICATE FOR ONLY $10 NORTHERN LIGHTS PIZZA $15 DEAL FOR ONLY $7.50 .com pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 21 E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org KNUCKLEHEADS F re e S h u tt le in th e S u rr o u n d in g A re a 15: Randy Oxford Band 16: The Cole Porter Band 17: Matt Andersen 8pm WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY Music HousE Band H Shy Boys go from roommates to labelmates with their debut album. By N ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r JANUARY: Nicholas David from the Voice at 8pm FRIDAY, JAN. 17 17: The Crayons @ 9:30pm 18: Eddie Delahunt - GL 18: Josh Hoyer & The Shadowboxers Michael Martin Murphey SUNDAY, JAN. 19 22: Back Porch Blues Band 23: Bart Crow 24: Atlantic Express 24: Cassie Taylor GL 25: Atlantic Express 30: Jason Boland & The Stragglers 31: Jason Eady For more info & tickets: knuckleheadshonkytonk.com 2715 Rochester, KCMO 816-483-1456 uddled around a warped booth table at Gilhouly’s, Konnor Ervin and brothers Kyle and Collin Rausch sip from cans of PBR. Someone has wasted a few dollars setting up all the Led Zeppelin songs on the bar’s jukebox, and “Whole Lotta Love” blares overhead. Doing their best to ignore this, these three men — who make up Shy Boys — go on talking about their upcoming debut album, due out January 21 on local label High Dive Records. It has been about two years since this trio played its first show together. Becoming a band was a slow, gradual process. Ervin, who plays guitar with the ACBs, got to know Kyle a few years ago when Kyle joined that group as its drummer. “Once Kyle got into the ACBs, I started hanging out with both him and Collin, getting stone-y and listening to tunes and stuff,” Ervin says. “We found out we a garage during a night off. Collin’s tender, had a lot in common. Mue r Mo choirboy voice peeks out from under undulatsically, we liked the same ing guitar chords and a hazy mix, and some things. Collin started songs are like rough demos: a little imprecise, showing us some demos, t a ine Onl .com a little off-key. and I was like, ‘holy shit.’ I pitch There’s good reason for the sonic bumps and mean, I knew he was really bruises. When the band first started, the three good from his old band [the men decided to switch instruments. Ervin, a Abracadabras], but the new jams were just guitarist, sat down at the drums. Kyle moved right on point.” from drums to bass, and Collin substituted “I think there was a mutual respect that electric guitar for his usual bass guitar. The drew us together,” Kyle Rausch adds. idea, they say, was to keep things interesting It took living together to really bring out — fumbling through familiar notes on foreign the music, though. For the past three years, instruments made practice fun. the Rausches and Ervin have shared a house Not that the album sounds half-baked. The in the Volker neighborhood. music has a specific charm, as though Shy “Our entire bottom floor of our house now Boys escaped from the pop is dedicated just to holding factory with a few chinks in gear,” Collin Rausch says. Shy Boys their armor and decided to “It’s a matter of walking With Metatone and Knot Lazy take what they know about out of our rooms and walkFriday, January 17, solid hooks — which is quite a ing down 12 steps to start at Harling’s Upstairs lot — and do their own thing. that creative process.” “We don’t spend too The thing about Shy Boys much time writing,” Collin says. “It’s a very is that they aren’t shy, not exactly. Questions simple process. We try to keep things as miniare met first with confused silence and some mal as possible. And, basically, we were trying shared chuckles before one of the band memto cut costs in the studio. We’re getting better bers lands on some kind of self-deprecating anat our instruments, but at that point, when we swer. They aren’t being coy. The Rausches and were recording, we had just picked up those Ervin simply don’t quite understand what all instruments and we were still figuring out how the fuss is about when it comes to their band. to play them.” And there is quite a fuss being made. In It’s a rare pop band that’s this DIY, but most early December, Pitchfork snapped up the of the shows that Shy Boys have played so far single “Is This Who You Are?” off Shy Boys’ have been in basements or living rooms (inupcoming self-titled album. Comparisons with cluding the ones at their shared residence). the Beach Boys have come up when people When they go on tour later this month, most of have talked about this young band, with its their gigs are slated to be house shows, alongthree-part harmonies and surf-pop vibes. side a smattering of official venues. But Shy Boys is something else: a 10-track “How we really started feeling good about study in lo-fi that runs less than 25 minutes our music was from playing those intimate and sounds as though it came together in Barrett emke M us i c Shy Boys get social. venues and feeding off of what the people standing in front of us were giving us,” Collin says. “We don’t get that when we’re at a bar. When it’s a house show, everyone is so focused on the music. It’s a collective energy that everyone is absorbed in.” Kyle adds: “KC is way excluded from the more mainstream markets. Especially as a pop band, we’re DIY out of necessity. That’s literally what we are, but I wouldn’t say that’s been our intent. We have to do it ourselves because no one else really cares.” People seem likely to start caring about Shy Boys, but the Rausch brothers and Ervin seem unfazed by the attention they’ve received so far. “It’s cool that people are talking about us, and hopefully they’ll do it more, but that’s never been our expectation,” Kyle says. “This band has totally been for fun, and anything besides that has been like an added bonus.” The conversation is winding down — along with a third round of “Stairway to Heaven” whining from the bar’s speakers — and the men are feeling contemplative. “Nothing’s changed,” Ervin says. “We’re still hanging out, doing the same old shit.” He laughs. “To us, it’s only about how good your content is and how good your songs and your music are,” Collin says. “We’re really proud of this record, and that feeling has met all of our expectations in the project. It’s been really exciting and really fun, but even if it doesn’t get past the walls of Mills Records or something, I’m still gonna be really proud of it and that it’s happened.” E-mail email@example.com 22 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 23 Music ‘Ghost’ story POOL TABLE • MEGATOUCH • 7 PINBALLS • PINBALL TOURNAMENT WEDNESDAYS • TOUCHTUNES INTERNET JUKEBOX • DRINKING ON THE SMOKING PATIO • CRAFT BEERS • $2 PBR / HIGH LIFE OPEN 12PM ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY • 4PM - 2AM EVERYDAY Sir Sly’s dark pop haunts the Internet — and beyond. By N ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r LIVE MUSIC EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT 8-12PM Jan. 24 - 90 to Nothing Feb. 7 - Velvet Jackson Feb. 21 - Allied Saints Jan. 31 - Thin Ice Jan. 17 - Allied Saints Feb. 14 - Junebug & The Porchlights CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE FOR FOOD SPECIALS & UPCOMING BAND DATES! 523 E. Red Bridge Rd. KCMO • Red Bridge Shopping Center • 816.942.0400 • www.theDailyLimitkc.com hen Sir Sly dropped its first single, “Ghost,” back in August 2012, everyone in charge of the Internet started freaking out. Very little information was available then about the Los Angeles synth-pop act — no one was sure how many people were involved or who was behind the addictive, brooding tracks on the band’s SoundCloud page. (Some conspiracy theorists briefly believed that it was a Foster the People offshoot.) When the identities of Landon Jacobs, Jason Suwito and Hayden Coplen were revealed, along with the band’s debut EP, you could hear the underground community heave a grateful sigh. Sir Sly really was something fresh. Ahead of Sir Sly’s Thursday show at the Riot Room, we dialed up lead singer Jacobs at his Sir Sly revealed parents’ California home. The Pitch: You’ve gotten a lot of attention on a breakup song to a lot of people, but I don’t think I ever thought that. It makes sense. A the Internet based on just a few tracks. How does lot of the songs are about specific moments of that make you feel? Jacobs: I think as a kid — growing up, mak- communication or questions that I have about things that are going on in my life, so it makes ing music and wanting to always make music sense that people would reinterpret it. — that’s kind of what you hope will happen, but At the end of “Gold,” you repeat the lyric I you get used to it not happening that way. So hope you find your dream. At first, I interpreted when it does, it’s definitely validating. We really like writing songs, and we’re re- it as anguish over some lost relationship, but then I started wondering if it was some kind of ally thankful for the people that are getting internal monologue. ahold of it. But all the Internet-sensation stuff, You kind of hit the nail on the head there. that’s all thanks to people who are dedicated Really, that song … it’s funny because we wrote to finding new music, because I know that I wouldn’t have found us. There are so many that song, and I was over at dinner at Hayden’s apartment, and he was like, “Oh, you have to bands that come up that get overlooked. I think hear this new artist that’s coming out. You have it’s a little bit of luck and a lot of hard work. No one knew who Sir Sly was for so long. to hear this song. It’s called ‘Royals’ by this girl named Lorde.” And I heard it and went, Why so mysterious? We think that most of the things about us “Hey, lyrically, that’s the same thing that we’re are boring, besides the music. [Laughs.] The doing in ‘Gold,’” and so it’s kind of a funny way I grew up, listening to music was just lis- coincidence. Obviously, that song is the most massively tening to music. I didn’t really read a lot of infamous song of 2013, but it has some of those terviews or go through a whole lot of pictures, you know? It was just kind of about the music, same internal-monologue questions that we ask in our music. Like: “What and that’s what’s imporis success? What do I want tant to us. I don’t think we Sir Sly out of life? out of music?” All really tried to conceal who Thursday, January 16, those kinds of things. “How we were. … It took us longer at the Riot Room do we define success?” And to get around to taking picthen, “What is my dream?” tures and stuff because we It’s a little bit sarcastic, that line specifically. wanted to make sure that it was done correctly at that point. At first, it was really just because The rest of the song is kind of a sincere search into the things around that theme. we wanted to put out music. Are you closer to any answers? The EP comes across as something of a No, you know, I don’t know if I ever will breakup album. What were you writing about be. We grew up with really easy access to specifically? “Ghost” was really just about death and an media and seeing how money destroys people sometimes, and fame and selfishness and obsession with death, and what happens to the all those kinds of things. I think feeling like people that we lose and wondering what the communication is between someone who was I have an answer to any of those questions around and now are not. “Ghost” sounds like would probably be a hindrance to personal W growth in the long run. I just keep on asking the questions — how I think I’m doing with all the stuff that’s happening. And hopefully, as we get bigger and as things snowball and we do get more popular, I can keep that perspective. I think that’s the healthy thing to do. What if things snowball too much for Sir Sly? I think I’m more afraid that things won’t snowball than that I’ll lose my grasp on anything. [Laughs.] E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org J a z z B e at Foundation 627 BiG Band, at thE GrEEn Lady LounGE Kansas City’s newest big band hails from one of this city’s most historic sites. Local 627 was, from 1917 until 1970, an AfricanAmerican musicians union, whose hall in the 18th and Vine District is now a national historic landmark. The Foundation 627 Big Band honors that building, the Mutual Musicians Foundation, with musicians who play the weekend all-night jam sessions there. Led by saxophonist Steve Lambert and trumpeter Ryan Thielman, and with veteran pianist Chris Clarke, this band swings a musical mix ranging from classic Count Basie to the big-band charts of Thad Jones and Sammy Nestico to original compositions. They’re regulars on the third Tuesday of each month at the Green Lady Lounge, where stepping inside feels like stepping back into KC’s swing era. — Larry Kopitnik Foundation 627 Big Band, 9 p.m.–midnight Tuesday, January 21, at the Green Lady Lounge (1809 Grand, 816-215-2954), no cover. 24 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 25 Music Music Forecast 1515 WESTPORT RD. • 816-931-9417 By n ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r WED 1/15 BRANDON VOGT THU 1/16 TJ HINDU COWBOY GOSPEL PIANO FRI 1/17 BROTHER BAGMAN SAT 1/18 LAST FREE EXIT WED 1/22 TROY ALLEN & FRIENDS WIFI NOW AVAILABLE! Bummer CHECK OUT THE NEW ALL DAY HAPPY HOUR mon: ru // karaokral grit 6-9 pm fri 1/24 e @ 10pm sat 1/25 jib jab jones yojimbo carly me w/ trombone y rs, bo sat 2/1 (members of jae cob omclap sat 2/8 akkilles, matt sfred) nowhere hoare , silver m aggies Kansas City’s Bummer is composed of three dudes barely out of high school. That doesn’t mean the band isn’t able to inspire thrashing mosh pits and wall-shaking noise. Bummer’s October-released four-song EP, Milk, isn’t just aggressive — it’s a sludgy, fuming battle cry, one that incites listeners to join the cause and charge with them. If Milk is the debut, it’s terrifying to imagine what’s next for the young band and what sort of fresh rebellion it will unleash on the city. Here’s hoping that the Riot Room is still standing after tonight’s show. With Sundiver and Coward. Friday, January 17, at the Riot Room (4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179) Tennis Alaina Moore and Patrick Riley, the husbandwife duo comprising Tennis, are already picture-perfect — the kind of couple you find yourself watching enviously at a cozy brunch spot while they trade tender smiles over gooseberry pancakes or something. The Denver band has so far made dreamy, beachworthy, 1970sinspired pop reflecting that nauseating honeymoon vibe. But on Tennis’ November-released EP, Small Sound, the energy has changed ever so slightly. Lead singer Moore works the album’s five songs like a woman in a little black dress at a high-end cocktail party. She saunters smoothly over lush ’70s organ notes on “Mean Streets,” flirts coyly on “Timothy,” becomes the envy of the dance floor on “Cured of Youth,” gives us a dark-corner moment of intimacy on “Dimming Light,” and leaves a mess of intoxicated hearts in her wake by the end of the groovy “100 Lovers.” If you’re not already keen on Tennis, now would be the time to start playing. Saturday, January 18, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207) Tennis Troubles Come, a beastly collection of 11 songs that have lead singer L. Ron Drunkard charging through heavy guitar riffs and propulsive drum work. Though Red Kate may seem like a good, old-fashioned rock-and-roll band, it has a definite punk slant. When the Troubles Come is mostly an anti-government record — it’s fun to sing along to the songs, but Red Kate also encourages a little thoughtful rebellion. Local female-fronted punk band the Bad Ideas and Minneapolis rock band Nato Coles are also on deck to ensure a loud night at the Replay. Saturday, January 18, at the Replay Lounge (946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676) and over-produced Too Weird suggests Top 40 power pop, but it’s unlikely that longtime fans of the Vegas band will much care. Sunday, January 19, at the Uptown Theater (3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665) In Rooms Panic at the Disco Red Kate Listening to Kansas City’s Red Kate is like getting knocked out and waking up at a grimy rock festival in 1975. In August, the band released its most recent full-length, When the Sin City’s Panic at the Disco lifted the title for its latest full-length from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die is a sort of homage to that most enticing American destination for bad decisions and worse consequences. The songs on Too Weird possess all the dramatic energy of a gaudy Vegas show and, like so many before them, fall prey to the easy trappings of standardized pop music. It’s hard to tell exactly what Panic at the Disco was going for this time — the unimaginative Folk-pop band In Rooms is prepared to bring some much needed warmth to how these January temperatures have you feeling. On the group’s August-released EP, The Night Has Come, husband-wife team Heather and Nick Leo blend a variety of musical influences with a decidedly Latin flair. The horn-heavy refrain of “Dove” is a delightful ode to cumbia. And were its lyrics not in English, the album opener, “Sweet Pretty,” would pass for a bossa nova classic. Heather Leo’s vocals bounce airily around the tracks, sometimes carried merrily along by a reggae beat. Forget Kansas City — In Rooms takes you on a spicy tour of the Southern Hemisphere, from breezy Brazilian beaches to sweltering Colombian discothèques. Not bad for a band from Des Moines. Monday, January 20, at Czar (1531 Grand, 816-421-0300) f o r e c a s t Pick of the Week Locally Sourced Bring Your Earplugs Anger Management 26 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 K e Y Not Really Disco Music Jungle Fever Folk Pop Welcome to Las Vegas We’re Not Talking About Sports Husband and Wife Punk Rock Don’t Panic pitch.com APPEARING LIVE THIS WEEK WITH COYOTE BILL BOOGIE BAND Every wednesday TRIVIA & open blues jam THE BLUE BOOT HEELERS, MISSOURI HOMEGROWN, ALL IN GENTS, KAT NILES MARC SHIPLEY, ASHLEY RAINES AND THE NEW WEST REVUE, GYPSY SPARROWS Every sunday the backslider’s brunch ALL YOU CAN EAT FROM 1-4 fri 1.17: 10PM $5 DAILY MENU MONDAY-FRIDAY sat 1.18: 10PM $5 HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS UPCOMING LIVE MUSIC: T.J. Erhardt 1/16/2014 - 9:00pm South Side Souls 1/17/2014 - 9:00pm J. Love 1/18/2014 - 9:00pm • SERVING FOOD TILL 3AM • 816.960.4560 4112 Pennsylvania Ave westportsaloon.com Mon-Fri 4p-3am Sat-Sun 12pm-3am Live Music Live Music 7 nights 7 nights a week a week 816.561.2444 www.erniebiggs.com nsas 4115 Mill Street West Port Ka City pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 27 AGENDA continued from page 11 Thursday | 1.16 | PERFORMING ARTS NATURAL BORN KILLERS Bram Wijnands Duo | 6 p.m. Majestic, 931 Broadway Arny Young’s Necessity Brass Band | 7 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway EXPOS Royal Philharmonic Orchestra | 7 p.m. Kauffman DAY SATUR ry Mallo y and Micke ain . g a e r id NIGHTLIFE 2014 Mid-America RV Show | 2-9 p.m. Bartle Hall, 301 W. 13th St. 1.18 Brodioke | 9 p.m. Bulldog, 1715 Main Cyan | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Feel Good | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, COMEDY Lawrence Ian Bagg | 7:30 p.m. Improv Comedy Club, 7260 N.W. 87th St., improvkc.com Jimmie Walker | 8 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK, stanfordscomedyclub.com SPORTS & REC Luxury Bump | 10 p.m. Firef ly Lounge, 4118 Pennsylvania Playe | 10:30 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Brent Tactic | Gusto Lounge, 504 Westport Rd. skate rental), 2450 Grand Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 Natural Born Killers in 35 mm | 10:35 p.m. Alamo Drafthouse, 1400 Main Friday | 1.17 | PERFORMING ARTS Red Dog’s Dog Days | 6 a.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence French Cabaret with Beth Byrd and Belleville | Govinda | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence ON EVENTS PITCH.CO M MORE AT LINE Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W. 13th St. MUSIC UMKC vs. Texas-Pan American men’s basketball | 7:05 p.m. Municipal 2715 Rochester The Cole Porter Band | 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 7 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Richard Renner’s The Slapstick Circus | 6:30 p.m. Kansas City Plaza Library, 4801 Main Grand Marquis | 7 p.m. Jazz, 1823 W. 39th St. Terry Hancock Trio | 6 p.m. Chaz, 325 Ward Pkwy. Chris Janson, County Road 5 | VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City 4048 Broadway Sir Sly, Wolf the Rabbit | 7:30 p.m. The Riot Room, Spoken word by Glenn North | 6 p.m. Kemper Museum, 4420 Warwick Blvd., kemperart.org EXPOS Something & the Whatevers, Wight Light | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence Megan Birdsall | 8p.m.UptownArtsBar,3611Broadway Beau Bledsoe | 8 p.m. Mestizo, 5270 W. 116th Pl., Brad Morgan | PBR Big Sky Bar, 111 E. 13th St. Origin, Troglodyte, Confined in Flesh, Species, A Plague in Faith | 6 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Mas- A Tribute to Rock and Roll Series with Jellyfish | 8 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Tropic Thursdays with Bartholomew | The Kill 2014 Mid-America RV Show | 12-9 p.m. Bartle Hall, 301 W. 13th St. Leawood COMEDY Lawrence Dusty Grove | Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, sachusetts, Lawrence Devil Club, 61 E. 14th St. Ian Bagg | 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club, 7260 N.W. 87th St., improvkc.com ART EXHIBITS & EVENTS About Face: Contemporary Portraiture | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak, nelson-atkins.org Edgar Degas Pastels | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak William S. Burroughs. Creative Observer | Lawrence Arts Center, 940 New Hampshire, Lawrence Celebrating Picasso: Through the Lens of David Douglas Duncan | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak Dressed Up | Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 4420 Warwick Blvd., kemperart.org Art, JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park Kaws • Ups and Downs; Dylan Mortimer • Illuminate | Nerman Museum of Contemporary Stages of Conversion: Santero Shrines of Gene Emerson Friedman | Thornhill Art Gallery, Avila University, 11901 Wornall, avila.edu/viscom/gallery Neeta Madahar: Falling | Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 4420 Warwick Blvd. The Neighborhood: New work by Stephanie Bloss | Kiosk Gallery, 3951 Broadway Reality and Fantasy: Land, Town and Sea | Echoes: Islamic Art and Contemporary Artists | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak 4:30 p.m. Thursday, Nerman Museum of Contemporary Art, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park, jccc.edu/museum Third Thursday at the Nerman, featuring Lisa Grossman and James Woodfill | 3:30- Gorgeous & Outrageous: The Art of Tony Naponic | Leedy-Voulkos Art Center, 2012 Baltimore, leedy-voulkos.com Charlotte Street presents Carolina Aranibar: In·ter·ven·tion | 6-9 p.m. Friday, 12-5 p.m. Saturday, Paragraph Gallery, 23 E. 12th St. Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak James Turrell: Gard Blue | Spencer Museum of Art, 1301 Mississippi , Lawrence We Are Not This Body — A Solo Exhibition by Scott Dickson | PLUG Projects, 1613 Genessee, plugprojects.com History & Hope: Celebrating the Civil Rights Movement | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak Impressionist France | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak SNIPE HUNT | 12-6 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, Percolator, alley between Arts Center and Ninth St., Lawrence charlottestreet.org Charlotte Street’s 2013 Visual Artist Awards Exhibition | Grand Arts, 1819 Grand, 28 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com Jimmie Walker | 7:45 and 9 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St. Bobby Smith Blues Band | 9 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside Charlie Wilson | 7 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main SportS & reC Sons of Brasil | 8 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar, 5336 W. 151st St., Leawood Crown Center Ice terrace | 10 a.m.-11 p.m., $6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand Starhaven rounders | 6 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence the Ice at park place | 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood Wonderfuzz | Kelly’s Westport Inn, 500 Westport Rd. NIGHtLIFe Monster X tour, including Bigfoot, Reverse Racer, American Graffiti, freestyle motocross, tuff trucks and Bone Crusher ride truck | 7:30 p.m. Kansas Expocentre, 1 Expocentre Dr., Topeka MuSIC sachusetts, Lawrence ALt-tV Video Dance party with with VJs Letrouble & Stryfe | 8 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Mas- Brodioke | 9 p.m. Bulldog, 1715 Main DJ Apollo Beats | 9 p.m. Mestizo, 5270 W. 116th Pl., Leawood Matt Andersen — A Living room Session | 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester W. 12th St. Jonathan Batiste Band | 8 p.m. Folly Theater, 300 Flirt Friday | 9 p.m. VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City DJ Lazer | Tengo Sed Cantina, 1323 Walnut DJs Madeline & Wilson | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 the Blue Boot Heelers, Missouri Homegrown, All in Gents | 10 p.m. Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania Bob Bowman & Bowdog | 8:30 p.m. The Blue Room, Broadway 1616 E. 18th St. Lowercasekansas | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence Bummer, Sundiver, Coward, Bobcat Barker | 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway Jt Quick | Hotel, 1300 Grand raqs Boheme Bellydancing | 6 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Nicholas David | 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester 1531 Grand Deadman Flats, Brody Buster Band | 9 p.m. Czar, Saturday | 1.18 | perForMING ArtS Deviator | 10 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Dan Doran Band | 9 p.m. The Phoenix, 302 W. Eighth St. eric, Dead Voices, Hadacol | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. pianist Luis Fernando perez | 7:30 p.m. Graham Tyler Memorial Chapel, 8700 N.W. River Park Dr., Parkville eXpoS Flannigan’s right Hook | Fuel, 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park Hall, 301 W. 13th St. 2014 Mid-America rV Show | 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Bartle Grand Marquis | The Kill Devil Club, 61 E. 14th St. Garry Lincoln | PBR Big Sky Bar, 111 E. 13th St. terry Quiett Band | Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence Wide open Motorcycle Show | KCI Expo Center, 11728 N. Ambassador Dr., wideopenmag.net CoMeDy Ian Bagg | 7 & 9:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club, 7260 N.W. 87th St., improvkc.com red Line Chemistry, restraint | 9 p.m. Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main Comedy Club, 7260 N.W. 87th St. the Improv’s Comedy Magic Show | 1 p.m. Improv School of rock presents rush | 6:30 p.m. Aftershock Bar & Grill, 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam Jimmie Walker | 7:45 and 9 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK Schwervon, psychic Heat, Beaded Hall | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence SportS & reC Crown Center Ice terrace | 10 a.m.-11 p.m., $6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand Shy Boys album release with Metatone and Knot Lazy | Harling’s Upstairs, 3941 Main continued on page 30 pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 29 rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood continued from page 29 The Ice at Park Place | 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate GEORGE STRAIT THEATER Dates and times vary. Grounded | Starting Wednesday, Unicorn Theatre, 3828 Main, unicorntheatre.org M. Butterfly | Metropolitan Ensemble Theatre, 3614 Main, metkc.org Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence KU vs. Oklahoma State men’s basketball | 1 p.m. Missouri Mavericks vs. Wichita Thunder | 7:05 p.m. Independence Events Center, 19100 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence Monster X Tour, including Bigfoot, Reverse Racer, SATUR American Graf iti, freestyle motocross, tuff trucks and Bone Crusher ride truck | 7:30 p.m. Kansas Expocentre, 1 Expocentre Dr., Topeka 1.18 ’s last Strait rodeo DAY Sister Act | Opening Tuesday, Municipal Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W. 13th St., theaterleague.org 13th St. UMKC vs. New Mexico State men’s basketball | 7:05 p.m. Municipal Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W. Performance Studio, 1715 Wyandotte Winter Shorts, featuring Monologues by Coleman Crenshaw | 7 p.m. Sunday, Fishtank MUSEUM EXHIBITS & EVENTS MUSIC County Museum of History, 6305 Lackman Rd., Shawnee, jocomuseum.org Citizen Soldiers on the Prairie | Johnson Bailiff, Wrong Kata Trio, Parts of Speech | 7:30 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Chance the Arm, Flannigan’s Right Hook | VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City Convergence: Jazz, Film, Dance and the Visual Arts | American Jazz Museum, 1616 E. 18th St. Cold Sweat | 9 p.m. The Phoenix, 302 W. Eighth St. Eddie Delahunt in the Gospel Lounge | 8:30 p.m. Take Five Tours | 6 p.m. Thursday, American Jazz Museum, 1616 E. 18th St., americanjazzmuseum.org 25th Anniversary Holiday Exhibit | George Strait | 7:30 p.m., $81.50/$101.50, Sprint Center, 1407 Grand Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester DJ Rico | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Dolewite | Fuel, 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park Eboni Fondren Quartet | 9 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 12-5 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, Strawberry Hill Ethnic Museum and Cultural Center, 720 N. Fourth St., KCK, strawberryhillmuseum.org 1809 Grand Nikki and the Rooftop Punch, Filthy 13, the Promise Keepers | 7 p.m. Coda, 1744 Broadway Red Kate, Nato Coles and the Blue Diamond Band, the Bad Ideas | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Hector the Selector | 10 p.m. The Eighth Street Taproom, 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence Jimmie Walker | 7 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK Katy Guillen & the Girls | 9 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St. Massachusetts, Lawrence Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak Party Arty: Mirage | 8 p.m.-midnight, $90/$160, SPORTS & REC Angela Hagenbach Trio | 7 p.m. Chaz, 325 Ward Pkwy. Nick Hexum Quintet, Brian Lockwood | 7 p.m., $20/$25, the Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence Brett Jackson Quartet | 5:30 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 1809 Grand School of Rock presents Rush | 6:30 p.m. Aftershock Bar & Grill, 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam Spinstyles and Trace Beats | 11 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand Sunday | 1.19 | PERFORMING ARTS The Kyle Sexton Band | The Kill Devil Club, 61 E. 14th St. The Ice at Park Place | Noon-8 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood 18th St. Jazz Disciples | 8:30 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 4112 Pennsylvania Marc Shipley, Ashley Raines and the New West Revue, Gypsy Sparrows | 10 p.m. Westport Saloon, Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham with the Kansas City Symphony | 2:30 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway KU vs. Baylor women’s basketball | 2 p.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence FOOD & DRINK Uptown, 3402 Main KC Thieves, Big Iron, Degeneration | 9 p.m. Davey’s Tennis | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Tim Whitmer & KC Express | 4:30 p.m. The Phoenix, Kansas City 2014 Chinese New Year Celebration | 3 p.m. Carlsen Center, JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park, kccaa.org Backsliders Brunch with gospel music by T.J. Erhardt and A.J. Gaither | 1-4 p.m. Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania Leawood Midnite Alibi | 9 p.m. Mestizo, 5270 W. 116th Pl., 302 W. Eighth St. EXPOS Rich Wheeler Quartet | 8 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar, 5336 W. 151st St., Leawood El Monstero — a tribute to Pink Floyd | 8 p.m. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway Hall, 301 W. 13th St. 2014 Mid-America RV Show | 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Bartle City Market | 8 a.m.-3 p.m., 20 E. Fifth St. Jazz brunch | 11 a.m.-1 p.m. The Majestic, 931 Broadway MUSIC NIGHTLIFE Phil Neal & the Wornalls | 7 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Lawrence Assjamz | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Wide Open Motorcycle Show | KCI Expo Center, 11728 N. Ambassador Dr., wideopenmag.net COMEDY Jeff Harshbarger presents an Alternative Jazz Series | 8 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Stan Kessler Quartet | 10 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 1809 Grand Ras Neville and the Kingstonians | Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence DJ Mike Scott | Hotel, 1300 Grand Ian Bagg | 7 p.m. Improv Comedy Club, 7260 N.W. 87th St., improvkc.com 30 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 pitch.com Mark Lowrey Trio jazz jam | 6 p.m. The Majestic, 931 Broadway 8410 Wornall Waldo Jazz Collective | 7-10 p.m. The Piano Room, Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St. Lee McBee and the Confessors | 6-9 p.m. B.B.’s nigHTLife leheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester Michael Martin Murphey | 8 p.m., $24.50, Knuck- geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz | 8 p.m. Green Room Burgers & Beer, 4010 Pennsylvania geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz | 7:30 p.m. Rhythm and Booze, 423 Southwest Blvd. Page 9, Secret 77, Sweet Ascent, Vineyard | Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence Bram Wijnands Trio | 9 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, Karaoke | 10:30 p.m. The Brick, 1727 McGee Sonic Spectrum Music Trivia | 7 p.m. RecordBar, 1809 Grand Monday | 1.20 | PerforMing ArTS 1020 Westport Rd. Trivia with Matt Larson | 8 p.m. Bulldog, 1715 Main Foundation Architectural Reclamation) CoMeDy Drum Tribe | 7-10 p.m. Foundation, 1221 Union (at Tuesday | 1.21 | LiTerAry eVenTS geneology Book Club | 9:30 a.m. Mid-Continent Public Library, North Independence Branch, 317 W. Hwy. 24, Independence Zach and Pat’s Live Comedy Podcast | 9 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Writers Place Poetry Series | 7 p.m. Johnson County Library, Central Resource Branch, 9875 W. 87th St., Overland Park, writersplace.org CoMeDy SPorTS & reC Crown Center ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand Onl EvEnts m pitch.co ine More at 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood The ice at Park Place | 101 Southwest Blvd. open-mic comedy night | 9 p.m. Hamburger Mary’s, SPorTS & reC Lawrence KU vs. Baylor men’s basketball | 8 p.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Crown Center ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand fiLM Naismith Dr., Lawrence red Dog’s Dog Days | 6 a.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Blazing Saddles Quote-Along | 7:35 p.m. Alamo Drafthouse, 1400 Main MUSiC rick Bacus Trio | Jazz, 1823 W. 39th St. Billy Beale’s blues jam | 10 p.m. Westport Saloon, MUSiC Bob Bowman & roger Wilder jam | 10 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 1809 Grand 4112 Pennsylvania Busker’s Banquet | 9 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Brother John’s Motivational r&B/Soul Showcase | 7 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway everette DeVan Trio with Lori Tucker | 7 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence Dr. Cotton, the north fork, Deadeye | 8 p.m. The The Crayons | 7 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. foundation 627 Big Band | 9 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 1809 Grand in rooms, the Burdock King, Chekhov’s gun | 8 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Mark Lowrey Trio | 6 p.m. The Majestic, 931 Broadway rural grit Happy Hour | 6-9 p.m. The Brick, 1727 McGee Terry Hancock Trio | 6 p.m. Chaz, 325 Ward Pkwy. Hermon Mehari Trio | 6 p.m. The Majestic, 931 Broadway shire, Lawrence Taking Back Mondays live karaoke with Sovereign States | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hamp- 1744 Broadway naughty Pines Happy Hour Band | 6-9 p.m. Coda, continued on page 32 pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 31 PANIC AT THE DISCO Each week, Pitch Street Team cruises around to the hottest clubs, bars and concerts. You name it, we will be there. While we are out, we hand out tons of cool stuff. So look for the Street Team... We will be looking for you! Y S U N DA 1.19 y Sin Cit cks. pop ro Panic at the Disco, the Colourist, X Ambassadors | 7 p.m. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway Th ell ur Prsents PP op Hell Pop To die In Th e HT itc he The P Th Tit he ou r ch is In Po rs @ M e t n n o ts e iot Room mR m ea @IR nff Riff In t is M h@ @ f RaT if R ff n die Riot Room continued from page 31 Ir Neko, Ben Grim, Jak Progresso, Dutch Newman, Boxguts | 9 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway Whiskey of the Damned, Damien Joseph & the Magnificent Bang Bangs, Gaptooth | 10 p.m. MUSIC Acoustic jam session with Nicholas St. James | Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Saloon, 2715 Rochester Back Porch Blues Band | 7 p.m. Knuckleheads NIGHTLIFE Billy Ebeling | 7 p.m. Jazz, 1823 W. 39th St. The Life and Times, Muscle Worship, Spacesuit | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Modern Epic, Fullbloods, Pioneer | 8 p.m. Czar, Citizens United Anniversary Trivia Night | 6 p.m. Lagniappe: Nica’s Cajun Cuisine, 320 Southwest Blvd., kcmovetoamend.org Twiste d Xm @ Indie as Jazz Poetry Jam | 7 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. 1531 Grand New Year’s Eve P arty @ Uptow mas X n d e t Twis die @ In Upcoming Events ty ’s Eve Par New Year Live KC Tw@ iste d Xmas @ Indie Karaoke with Paul Nelson | MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Tap Room Trivia | 8-10 p.m. Waldo Pizza, 7433 Broadway OM3N, Warya Kamau, the Quiet, Mcneckbeard | 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway Shinetop Jr. | 7-9 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St. Trivia Bang Bang | 7:30 p.m. Helen’s Just Another Dive, 2002 Armour Rd., North Kansas City Trivia Night with the Missouri Mavericks | 5:30 p.m., $20/$25, Adams Pointe Golf Club, 1601 R.D. Mize Rd., Blue Springs Drew Six | 6-9 p.m. Cactus Grill, 11849 Roe, Leawood Charlie Worsham, Buck Rogers and Brothers Osbourne | 7 p.m. Kanza Hall, 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park 1.16 - Cold Nights, Hot Country @ VooDoo 1.17 - Charlie Wilson @ Indie 1.18 - El Monstero @ Uptown 1.19 - Panic at the Disco @ Uptown Wednesday | 1.22 | MIND & BODY NIGHTLIFE DJ G Train | 10 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Girlz of Westport | 8p.m.Californos,4124Pennsylvania 2014: Living Signs to Becoming Your Best You with Quan Tracy Cherry | 7 p.m., $20 and up. St. Luke’s Foundation, 4228 Baltimore Lawrence Waxjamz | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, SPORTS & REC Weirdo Wednesday Supper Club | 7:30 p.m. Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 skate rental), 2450 Grand See more on the “promotions” link at p 32 the pitch january 16 -22, 2014 KU vs. Oklahoma State women’s basketball | 7 p.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence E-mail submissions to email@example.com or enter submissions at pitch.com, where you can search our complete listings guide. pitch.com SCHWERVON! @CZARBAR 25 HEAR THEM BEFORE YOU SEE THEM JANUARY SATURDAY //FREE MUSIC PLAYER ON THE MUSIC HOME PAGE OF PITCH.COM 816.218.6735 CALL TO BE A PART WEDDING GUIDE COMING FEB 20 VALENTINE’S DAY GUIDE COMING: FEB 6 FEB 13 pitch.com january 16 -22, 2014 the pitch 33 S ava g e L o v e Qu i c ki e s By D a n S ava ge and begging. But this elicited no reaction from him, though he was already hard. Am I reading too much into this? Everyone is different, but something about this threw me off. I would like to think that this is the 21st century, and if he were gay, he would just be gay, but I know that’s not always true. Is there any way I can figure this out? Dear Dan: My friend is in her late 20s and mar- ried, and she has two little kids. Her husband had a rough childhood and has some issues. Since their most recent child was conceived, they have not had sex. He says he believes that there is a difference between a lover and a mother, and he refuses to have sex with his wife now because he thinks of her as a mother to their children and not as a lover. She’s struggling with this and doesn’t know what to do. Any advice? Guessing About Yearnings Dear GAY: How on earth do you stick your hand in a guy’s underpants — how do you go under a guy’s underwear — without actually touching the guy’s cock? Anyway, your new boyfriend did have a physical reaction when you were fooling around: His dick got hard. He didn’t have the same over-the-top reaction to your bizarre moves that other guys had in the past, but getting an erection when a girl sticks her hand in your underpants is a pretty good indication that a guy isn’t gay. It’s also possible that he wanted to pant, writhe and beg, but he restrained himself because you had banned “anything below the belt,” and your great new boyfriend didn’t want you to feel pressured to go further than you were comfortable with. Dear Dan: My wonderful boyfriend and I have been in a monogamish relationship for five years. We’re both GGG, and we have had a few threesomes involving women, a fantasy both of us shared. My biggest fantasy, however, is to be with two men. I’ve brought it up with my BF, but he just doesn’t find men attractive and isn’t into it. Now a former fling of mine (male) told me that he finds my BF attractive and would love to be with both of us. The two sexiest men I’ve ever known together with me would be an absolute wet dream come true! I feel like my BF is a little nervous about being with another man because (a) he has performance anxiety and/or (b) he’s not comfortable exploring his sexuality. (He grew up in a small town and was teased a lot about being gay because he was in theater.) I feel like he might enjoy himself if he could get past his insecurities. Should I just give up this dream? Miserable Undersexed Mom Dear MUM: My advice? Don’t make babies with crazy people. But if your friend doesn’t have access to a time machine — or if she does but she’s attached to her children — she should inform her husband that she didn’t sign up for a sexless marriage. So he’ll need to get his ass to a therapist and get over this new motherof-my-children hang-up. (Why didn’t he have this problem after the birth of his first child?) If counseling doesn’t do the trick, your friend should tell her husband that the mother of his children intends to find a guy who will fuck her, a divorce attorney, or a divorce attorney who will fuck her. Dear Dan: I had an odd bit of awkwardness over the holidays. One of my wife’s nephews recently came out as gay, which is no problem at all for us, but it created friction in his immediate family. We were at a big extended-family dinner together, and after we sat down, I made a point of smiling warmly in his direction to let him know that my wife and I were allies. He responded with the Hot Steamy Eye-Fuck. And not just once but every time I looked at that end of the table. Mind you, he’s a recently out-of-the-closet 19-year-old, and I’m a 42-year-old straight guy who’s married to his aunt. Maybe he was bored or perhaps trying to cause trouble. Is there a look that says, “I’m not interested” or, better yet, “Knock it the fuck off”? We haven’t seen him since, but we will run into him again eventually and want to be supportive without encouraging bad behavior. WARNING HOT GUYS! Kansas City ( 816 ) 326.9926 ( 913 ) 904.9974 We have a great relationship. Our sex life wasn’t always super. At first, he didn’t want much sex and had a lot of inhibitions. But I’ve worked hard at bringing him out of his shell, and he has willingly tried several toys and playful games, and the last few years have been great. The problem is his most recent revelation. He told me that he’s interested in being dominated. By me. I asked him if it was mostly a visual thing or if he liked the idea of actually being dominated by a woman. He said both. I’m so uncomfortable with this idea. He has always been somewhat passive in bed. I assumed that it’s because he was shy and embarrassed about sex (which he was), but now I think maybe it’s more than that. The problem with his passivity is that it totally kills my mood. I don’t want to crack a whip (metaphorically or literally) and tell him what to do. The thought grosses me out. How can I give him what he wants here? Dame Not Domme Dear DND: By sending him to see a pro-domme. You dominate him by ordering him to submit to her, she cracks the literal whip and then orders him to show his gratitude to you — and his submission to you both — by going home and vanilla’ing the shit out of you afterward. Unnerving Nephew Crosses Line Dear UNCL: The next time you want to tell a horny 19-year-old gay relative that you’re an ally, use your words, e.g., “If you need someone in your corner, kiddo, you can count on us.” A warm smile from an uncle is likely to be misinterpreted as an invitation to fuck your (closeted and dying for cock) uncle or fuck with your (well-meaning but patronizing) uncle. Likewise, the best way to communicate “knock it off” is by using your words, not your eyes. Dear Dan: I’m a 33-year-old straight woman, pitch.com married for 10-plus years to an awesome guy. Wishes He Were a Little Bi Dear WHWALB: Your boyfriend isn’t bi. He’s not even heteroflexible, and he has made it clear that he’s turned off by the idea of a threesome with another male. Even if you could talk him into it, arranging a threesome with a dude who has expressed a sexual interest in your boyfriend would be disrespectful and potentially disastrous. Drop it. The Savage Lovecast is at savagelovecast.com. FREE to listen & reply to ads! FREE CODE: Pitch Weekly 1-888-MegaMates 34 the pitch For other local numbers call: TM 24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2013 PC LLC 2544 Dear Dan: I’m a 25-year-old woman, and I just started dating a great new guy. My problem is, I’m concerned that he might be gay. I tend to be more conservative, and although I have slept over, I banned anything below the belt. He “petted” me over the underwear, and I did the same to him. I also went under his underwear and rubbed my hand around his penis without actually touching it. When I have done this to other guys, they tended to go crazy — writhing, panting Have a question for Dan Savage? 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