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JANUARY 31–FEBRUARY 6, 2013 | FREE | VOL. 32 NO. 31 | PITCH.COM

The Green Impact Zone runs out of federal money before it runs out of ideas. B Y JONAT H A N BE N DE R

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MAKING A DENT Just how much impact has the Green Impact Zone had?

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MEDICAL MARIJUANA BILL introduced in Kansas Legislature unlikely to get a hearing. Ghostbusters’ ERNIE HUDSON is coming to Crypticon Kansas City this summer.

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he Midwest Hotel, a five-story slab of blight at the intersection of 20th Street and Main, has been sold. Gibson Kerr, a broker with Re/Max Commercial Solutions, says the building was purchased January 23 in a foreclosure auction on the Jackson County Courthouse steps. The price: $371,000. “Great American Bank is now the proud owner,” Kerr says. “They were the only one who bid on the whole thing.” The building, which is on the National Register of Historic Places, has stood vacant for several years, standing out as an eyesore in the G O L Arts District. P E R MO INE AT Crossroads In the early 2000s, in its ONL M / P L O G last stand as a working P IT C H .C O hotel, the Midwest was a magnet for drug crime and prostitution. (For a 2003 Pitch story, writer Casey Logan spent a harrowing week in the place to report firsthand on its tawdry awfulness.) The building has been dormant for so long that Kerr can’t remember exactly how long he has been trying to sell it. “I’ve had it listed off and on for probably four or five years,” he says. “Who’s counting at this point?” The building used to adjoin the Hereford House restaurant, which also rented part of the hotel’s first floor. The steakhouse burned in 2008, and one of the restaurant’s owners, Rod Anderson, was convicted of arson last October. The arson destroyed the restaurant and further scarred the south end of its Main Street block. Kerr says he represented Anderson a few

This historic building now has a future. years ago, when Anderson tried to sell the restaurant and the hotel. “Next thing I know, I’m reading the paper, and the building blew up in an arson fire,” Kerr says. “At that point, the Midwest Hotel went into bankruptcy because it was owned by a separate group. And their only source of income was the rent that Hereford House was paying them for the first floor.” After that, Kerr says, it was a short ride from blight to debacle. “There’s been multiple owners, then it got tied up in bankruptcy, then there was the arson,” he says. “It’s just been a disaster for several years.” Kerr wouldn’t comment on what Great American Bank plans for the property, but redevelopment seems likely. The bank owns the squat building directly north of the hotel as well as the land to its south. But the building, which is 5,000 square feet per floor, is in such rough shape that preservation might be impossible. “It’s kind of borderline whether it’s worth going through all the administrative work that you need to go through for historic tax credits,” Kerr says. Regardless, Kerr believes that the sale is good for the neighborhood. “It’s such a primo corner,” he says. “I mean, it’s one of the best corners in downtown. It’s almost kind of like a gateway entry point to downtown.” He adds, “Now it’s in a position where somebody can develop it.”

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Making a Dent JUST HOW MUCH IMPACT HAS THE GREEN IMPACT ZONE HAD?

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B Y J O N AT H A N B E N D E R | P H O T O G R A P H Y B Y S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

n a cold January day at 39th Street and Prospect, an elderly black man shuffles between cars at the traffic light. He gets through the intersection and then moves from one vacant lot to another, intent on bumming a smoke from a friend who has just secured a pack from Cigarette Depot. The store is the only building on this corner. A few minutes away, at the corner of 51st Street and Swope Parkway, a “We Buy Homes” sign flutters against its staples on a telephone pole. Staring back at it is a shuttered gas station. Gleaming rows of bicycles are for sale 12 blocks to the west. Revolve KC, a nonprofit bike shop, has repurposed a dilapidated garage that had been a rotten tooth nagging the neighborhood around the University of Missouri–Kansas City. Twelve blocks north, a few men adjust winter hats and rub their hands to keep warm as they line the concrete benches outside MetroCenter and wait for the Troost MAX. None glances toward “Unite,” the 8 THE PITCH 2 THE PITCH

20-foot-tall, publicly funded sculpture that towers over the intersection. These are the four corners bordering the Green Impact Zone, an area united by the promise of transformation for the longneglected neighborhoods of Troostwood, Manheim Park, Blue Hills, Town Fork Creek and Ivanhoe. Next month marks four years since U.S. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver first put forth his plan to leverage federal funds from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act to attract investment to a 150-block area in KC’s urban core. The idea was simple: better housing and better streets, built with greenenergy sustainability in mind. The execution hasn’t been quite so simple. With the remaining federal stimulus dollars slated to be spent by August, the next infusion of capital has yet to be identified for the Green Impact Zone. The initial focus on creating green jobs has shifted toward a focus on large-scale development intended to secure future public and private investment on the East Side. Construction and infrastructure projects dot the landscape within the zone. The Troost

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Avenue bridge has been built, the Troost MAX rapid bus transit service is running, and sidewalk and traffic-light improvements are scheduled for this spring. But the Green Impact Zone is at a pivotal moment. Three employees were set to be laid off at the end of January, trimming the staff to four people. And city officials have made it clear that the $550,000 approved earlier this month for personnel and operational costs is the last of the municipal cash. “It’s an infusion, not a lifeline,” says Mayor Pro Tem Cindy Circo. “There has to be a game plan to remove yourself from that city support.” It’s unclear whether such a plan can come together soon for an area of the city that’s all too familiar with broken promises.

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he requests don’t stop coming into Margaret May’s corner office, on the second floor of the Nutter Ivanhoe Neighborhood Center at 3700 Woodland. On a recent Friday, a young man wants to talk to her about a job. A middle-aged man is hoping to get a neighborhood-association sweatshirt

to wear for President Barack Obama’s inauguration. But this is May’s job. She’s the executive director of the Ivanhoe Neighborhood Council, the only neighborhood within the Green Impact Zone that has a paid staff. She recalls when the Green Impact Zone was taking shape in a conference room at the downtown offices of the Mid-America Regional Council in April 2009. “I remember everybody was at MARC to see what piece of the pie they could get,” May says. “The first meeting, there were maybe 18 to 20 people in the room. But by the third meeting, it was standing room only.” After Cleaver announced the idea of the Green Impact Zone in February 2009, he looked for a partner to help execute the idea. He approached MARC, which in turn approached the neighborhood and social-service organizations within the zone’s boundaries to determine priorities for the revitalization effort. The resulting slate listed eight projects, ranging from a sustainable land-use plan to a smart-grid energy project designed to cut costs and improve appliance efficiency for homeowners. In the fall of 2009, the city pledged $1.5 million to help

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finance a Green Impact Zone Assistance Center. “We’d been trying a shotgun approach to development for decades, with limited effect,” Circo says. “And now there was this opportunity to see if targeting does make a difference.” Anita Maltbia, a former assistant city manager, was hired as the executive director, along with a staff of six people. Office space was leased from a Kansas City, Missouri, School District building at 4600 Paseo Boulevard. The September 1 ribbon-cutting drew representatives from the White House, and Housing and Urban Development Secretary Shaun Donovan. “It’s going to be, I think, a little surprising to people who are accustomed to seeing balloons go off at the start of something and no balloons around at the end,” Cleaver said at the event. “But this one, I think, is going to be something that I think the entire community, whether you’re in the Green Impact Zone or not, will feel good about.” The Green Impact Zone enjoyed a high profile from its inception. Maltbia attended Obama’s State of the Union address in January 2010 as a guest of Michelle Obama’s. A

month later, U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood held a press conference at the Green Impact Zone Assistance Center to announce that Kansas City had received $50 million in Transportation Investment Generating Economy Recovery funds. Approximately $26 million was slated to be spent directly on transportation infrastructure improvements in the zone. “You’ll be under a microscope and a spotlight as you spend this money,” LaHood said. The spotlight arrived well before the microscope. The words “national model” were used often when people talked about the zone. During a March 2010 visit to the zone, Deputy Administrator Therese McMillan, of the Federal Transit Administration, noted: “This project has become a national model of how a federal investment will assist a community in an economic decline.” The next month, the city secured a $20 million grant to create EnergyWorks KC, a program dedicated to energy efficiency and green-job creation. As part of that grant, $150,000 would be disbursed over three years

Anita Maltbia sees progress in the zone. to cover the costs of the zone’s office, and $2.2 million would go toward rehabilitating a building at 5008 Prospect into a community center and business incubator. The zone’s early efforts centered on community outreach. There were community meetings, and there was funding for projects such as the “community crew,” in Ivanhoe, in which trained residents between the ages of 18 and 24 would perform sidewalk-remediation work in front of homes. There were trash pickups and food drives. There was an urban homes tour marketed to realtors and potential homebuyers. Neighborhood residents were taught how to navigate city departments, work with the police and advocate for projects. “This was a format where people from one neighborhood could hear what was going on in other people’s neighborhoods,” says Wanda Taylor, president of the Troostwood Neighborhood Association. But the community-engagement strategy broke down in the face of the zone’s first largescale project. continued on page 11

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Making a Dent continued from page 9 In October 2010, MARC secured $4.5 million in funds for the proposed weatherization of 659 homes. MARC hired a contractor, Zimmer Real Estate Services, to oversee the scheduling and structure of the program. Zone staff were designated to provide outreach and education on the benefits of weatherization. ThenMayor Mark Funkhouser declared October 30 “Weatherization Day.” But each of the 659 homes would present its own challenges — starting with eligibility for the program — and the warm feelings wouldn’t last long. “It was extremely frustrating,” Maltbia says. “The state’s program didn’t take the human pieces into account. You have an elderly lady with a house leaking like a sieve, but workers couldn’t get into her basement. We turned to the neighborhood association to get volunteers to clean out the basement. That’s something a flat piece of paper can’t deal with, but it’s the reality for the people who needed it most.” A few weeks after the Troost MAX launched, on New Year’s Day 2011, the State Department sent Maltbia to Japan to talk to urban planners there about the Green Impact Zone. She returned to difficult news. The Missouri Department of Natural Resources announced in February 2011 that it would reduce the zone’s weatherization program funding to $2.7 million. The initial grant stipulated that the weatherization needed to be completed by March 2012.

“The state felt the program wasn’t advancing fast enough,” says Marlene Nagel, MARC’s director of community development. “It took us longer to get up and running, but I felt we were making good progress.” Missouri’s DNR pulled the program from MARC in September 2011, placing it under the city’s auspices. At that time, only 115 homes had been fully weatherized — at a cost of nearly $1.6 million. The Green Impact Zone was suddenly being reframed as a story of unfulfilled potential. While the weatherization program sputtered, a greensewer project (using native plants to control stormwater runoff) never got off the ground. A $150,000 feasibility study to build the Climate Sustainability Center (a 217,000-square-foot paean to green space at 47th Street and Troost), which Cleaver had called the “cornerstone” of the zone, didn’t advance beyond the report stage. Cleaver says the center “continues to be a priority.” “I continue to look for opportunities for public and private financing for this worldclass concept,” Cleaver says by e-mail. “And UMKC has begun the process of relocating

departments within those buildings to make room for future development.” Still, Kansas City Power & Light installed 2,600 smart meters in homes within the zone as part of its SmartGrid project (a total of 14,000 meters in and around the zone), funded by $24 million in federal funds and its own $24 million investment. (The networked meters help residents track energy usage and are meant to improve efficiency.) KCP&L also dedicated its SmartGrid Innovation Park — a fenced space that houses a lithium-ion battery (it looks like a blue shipping container) capable of storing energy from an adjacent array of solar panels — and an electric-car charging station at 4724 Tracy. For now, though, black metal bars fence off the SmartGrid Innovation Park. Illustrated signs near the charging station detail the future of smart energy. The lithium-ion battery and the solar panels sit behind the fence visible from an exterior walking path, which winds toward an adjacent substation. But a master lock secures the gate against visitors. This neighborhood might be ready for solar power in the future,

“The idea of a sustainable urban-revitalization effort in the city — it’s the first time in my lifetime I can remember that happening.”

Construction has begun at 5008 Prospect. but it’s not quite ready to leave that technology sitting out in the open.

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ast February, construction began on another development in the southeast corner of the zone, the Blue Hills Community Services Center at 5008 Prospect. That same month, the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce announced that its Urban Neighborhood Initiative would begin with the Troost Corridor. “We wanted to work with neighborhoods that had clearly identified pressing needs,” says Diane Cleaver, UNI’s executive director (and wife of the congressman), by e-mail. “The fact that there was significant overlap with the Green Impact Zone along with recognition of all the Zone had done including building of some social infrastructure was seen as a definite asset for the neighborhoods.” Another asset was the announcement of a $14 million renovation project for the vacant Bancroft School site, at 4300 Tracy. When it’s done, the former school will contain 29 affordable housing units (with an additional 21 units built on the adjacent grounds). The first two floors of the original building are slated to include a community center, free to the neighborhood association for 15 years, with an auditorium, a computer lab and a gymnasium. “This new development, no longer stagnant, stands as a continued on page 13

TIMELINE SEPTEMBER 2009: Ribbon-cutting at

JANUARY 2011: The Troost MAX bus line begins service.

the Green Impact Zone office at 4600 Paseo.

JANUARY 2010: Director Anita Maltbia FEBRUARY 2009: U.S. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver

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FEBRUARY 2012: The $14 million Bancroft School redevelop-

attends President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address as a guest of Michelle Obama’s.

introduces the idea of the Green Impact Zone.

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ment project is announced in the Manheim Park neighborhood.

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Making a Dent continued from page 11 testament to the hard work that is going on within the Green Impact Zone to create jobs, boost the economy, and revitalize areas of Kansas City that have seen disinvestment and deterioration for decades,” Rep. Cleaver says by e-mail. It made national headlines because of its lead developer: the Make It Right Foundation, the nonprofit founded by actor Brad Pitt to help rebuild post-Katrina New Orleans with sustainable housing practices. Almost a year later, work is under way, and voices can be heard in the hallways of the Bancroft School for the first time in 15 years. Kansas City is a test city for Make It Right as the organization determines whether it can extend its model outside New Orleans. “We are only in Kansas City because of the big idea around the Green Impact Zone,” says Make It Right’s Tim Duggan, who lives in Beacon Hill. “The idea of a sustainable urban-revitalization effort in the city — it’s the first time in my lifetime I can remember that happening.” BNIM Architects helped secure LEED Platinum status for the building, which will be powered in part by a solar array on its roof. The fi nancing is a mix of federal and state housing and historic-preservation-tax credits and private donations. It’s close to the green-development panacea that Rep. Cleaver envisioned — though success carries its own hazards. David Park, deputy director of the city’s Neighborhood and Housing Services Department, says neighborhood associations asked the Land Trust of Jackson County to put a hold on properties in the area around Bancroft, to prevent speculators from swooping in and purchasing lots. “Speculators can stymie redevelopment efforts, because any dollar you add to the price of a property makes it less likely to happen,” Park says. In October 2012, the city transferred 477 zone properties from the Land Trust to the city’s Homesteading Authority. The transfer makes these properties a test case for how to handle more than 3,000 other properties that are headed for the newly established Land Bank. As with the weatherization houses, these properties require assessment and, in some cases, cleanup — or demolition. The city plans to spend $1 million, raised as part of a sales tax approved by voters last August, to tear down 140 homes over the next three months.

The former Horace Mann School will likely be razed and replaced by housing. The next challenge for the Green Impact Zone: Prove that the processes that have jumpstarted the Bancroft School’s redevelopment can be repeated. With zone transportation projects nearing the final phase of construction, the Green Impact Zone must evolve from a federally funded super-network of neighborhoods to something that’s tightly run and strategy-driven. “We’re going to need to be more focused in our work as we’re starting to see tangible evidence of renewal,” Nagel says. “We’re really pleased with the groundbreaking at the Bancroft School. We think that will help to move the whole neighborhood forward.” To that end, MARC and the Green Impact Zone staff have identified eight project areas and three large-scale developments (the Bancroft site and adjoining properties among them) that they believe can stimulate investment. One of those projects is set to break ground next month. The Ivanhoe Neighborhood Council is preparing to launch its model block between Euclid and Prospect on 39th Street, developed in coordination with APD Urban Planning and Management LLC, a Jacksonville, Florida, consultant hired by the zone. “The seeds have been planted, and things have been set in place,” May says. “But I don’t think we as a city can be satisfied if the zone goes away.” “We’re pretty strong,” Taylor says. “We won’t lose the progress if the Green Impact Zone goes away. It will just slow things down. If something is out of our league, it will just take some more research to get it done.” If redevelopment does stall, certain advancements will remain. The Troost Avenue bridge has been built, and a pedestrian walkway is slated to be completed by September. The Troost MAX bus line is running. The neighborhoods will have stretches of new sidewalks, traffic signals and resurfaced streets. But Rep. Cleaver’s vision was a big idea — the kind of big idea capable of attracting Make It Right — and it was meant to transform 150 blocks, not 15. Are some of the neighborhoods in the zone doomed to be forgotten all over again? “The biggest thing for me is that we have raised the possibility of hope,” Maltbia says. “Now we want to light a fire that will burn on its own.”

E-mail jonathan.bender@pitch.com

FLORISTS! STYLISTS! PRINTERS! PHOTOGRAPHERS! Find them in The Pitch February 28th

Wedding Guide

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WEEK OF JANUARY 31–FEBRUARY 6 | BY BERRY ANDERSON

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PAG E

Heinrich Toh’s artboard

FRIDAY

2 .1

-night Friday . l i gh t s

STAGE The Rep’s Salesman is not a dime a dozen.

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FIRST FRIDAY HIT LIST

ART Blueprint for a Three Dimensional Sketchbook.

25 PAG E

CAFÉ The Marriott reboots dinner with MetropolitanKC.

T H U R S D AY | 1 . 31 | HIGHER CONSCIOUS -NE$$

“As we become more aware of our emotions, we begin to realize that many of them, such as envy, resentment, greed, bitterness, malice, anger, and hatred … do not further our well-being.” So reminds Conscious Capitalism, the new book cowritten by Whole Foods Market co-founder John Mackey. It’s good advice for anyone who may have felt a surge of those feelings whenever Mackey has opened his quinoa hole the past month to talk about, say, what constitutes fascism. Mackey and co-author Raj Sisodia head up a panel at 7 p.m. at Unity Temple on the Plaza (707 West 47th Street), joined by Boulevard Brewing’s John McDonald and the Roasterie’s Danny O’Neill (among others). Buy the $27 hardcover at rainydaybooks.com to listen in. — SCOTT WILSON

Red Star Studios (2100 Walnut, 816-474-7316) quietly brings us the nation’s most renowned ceramists, month after month, year after year. This First Friday, from 6 to 9 p.m., see works by Andy Brayman and Alleghany Meadows, in a presentation called Tableware that’s a lot more than its title. Brayman, a 2011 Charlotte Street Foundation fellow, presents his latest work, including collaborations with Alleghany, who apprenticed with Takashi Nakazato in “ceramics central” Karatsu, Japan. Upstairs from Red Star in the Belger Arts Center (816-474-3250) is a slice of the expansive John and Maxine Belger Family Foundation’s collection, Adornment. It’s art history right in our backyard, and it’s up until June. Beggar’s Table (2009 Baltimore), above Leedy-Voulkos, opens its third annual Have a Heart benefit show for Operation Breakthrough. Thirty percent of sales (and all proceeds from raffle tickets) will go to the organization, which helps impoverished children pay for education

BLUE-COLLAR COMEDY

When we last checked the website stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, it hadn’t been updated for almost two years. Moleskine notebooks and sea salt were on the list, but stand-up comedy, bluegrass music and people dressed like rabbits were not. You can find all of those things at Screenland Armour (408 Armour Road, North Kansas City, 816-421-2900) during Homegrown Hullabaloo, a variety show with comedians AJ Finney and Dustin Kaufman. The night’s host is KKFI 90.1 personality Val Baul, aka Somebunny. “Dustin has had me rolling with laughter on my show. I really enjoy his perspective on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” Baul says. The show, which begins at 8 p.m., is rounded out with a performance by the Calamity Cubes. Admission costs $10. For more information, search for Homegrown Hullabaloo on Facebook. continued on page 16

and health programs. The reception from 6 to 9 p.m. includes artists Kristin Goering, Kari Heybrock, Mara Proctor and Jenny Meyer-McCall. KC made the list for the 2012 Scholastic Art & Writing Awards, after Detroit and Virginia Beach. As part of those awards, the Art Write Now Tour stops at Leedy-Voulkos Arts Center (2012 Baltimore) for a month before heading to its final show in Fort Worth, Texas. The program dates back to 1923 and in the past has spotlighted Sylvia Plath, Ken Burns, Joyce Carol Oates, Truman Capote and John Lithgow. There’s also new work here by Cheryl Gail Toh: Linger Still, a collection of mixed-media paintings from a masterful artist whose work is rarely seen here in volume. And look for a quirky set of presidential woodcut portraits by Rachel Ignotofsky. February is the month of Toh, perhaps, because the work of Heinrich Toh is writ large on the latest Missouri Bank Crossroads’ Art Through Architecture Artboards (125 Southwest Boulevard). Never Quite Enough is on one side, with the work of another KC favorite, Misha Kligman, on the other. — TRACY ABELN

T H U R S D AY | 1 . 3 1 |

FIRE ISLAND’S FINEST

M

ark Doty is considered one of the most talented poets writing today. No slouch, he has been recognized for his prose, too — his memoir, Dog Years, was a New York Times best-seller. You get the chance to hear him read his work in person at Rockhurst University’s Mabee Theater (in Sedgwick Hall, 54th Street and Troost) when he appears with the Midwest Poets Series. The Rutgers University professor and “distinguished writer” — he has won the National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the U.K.’s T.S. Eliot Prize, among others — reads at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $3 at the door, but no one is denied entrance for lack of funds. A reception and book signing follow. Call 816-501-4607 for more — D EBORAH H IRSCH information. pitch.com

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

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n i k g c h u t b $1.00 per game $1.00 per shoes $1.00 10oz Rolling Rock or PBR Draft Beer $1.00 food specials at Strike Zone Grill

SUNDAY: MISSION

8pm to Midnight

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F R I D AY | 2 . 1 | FIRST-FRIDAY PARTY ROUNDUP

get a Fabulous jump start on your Wedding planning! SUNDAY FEBRUARY 10, 2013 10AM UNTIL 4PM

Jaskki’s Tobacco Café (1400 West 12th Street, 816-421-4177). Every First Friday, from 7 to 11 p.m., this 30,000-square-foot, full-service tobacco and hookah retailer offers 30–35 selections of free shisha tobacco for the smoking pleasure of those 18 and older. Live music from All That Jazz begins at 8, and admission is free. Midwestern Musical Co. (1830 Locust, 816-931-6962). Tonight’s free show features the sleepy pop of the Caves and the driving psych rock of the Conquerors. Music starts at 8. Slap-n-Tickle Gallery (504 East 18th Street, 816-716-5940). For the sixth year in

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a row, the experimental gallery opened by Apryl McAnerney and the late local legend Mott-ly is holding its R-rated Erotica Art Show, beginning at 6 p.m. Look for burlesque by Panties Inferno and music from the Bluegrass Porn Stars. Leave your dogs and kids at home. Admission costs $3.

S AT U R D AY | 2 . 2 | BOHEMIAN BAZAAR

Local perfumer For Strange Women creates mysterious, beguiling scents. The solid and oil perfumes, with such names as Horse (notes of dry hay) and Violin in the Attic (think resiny), are sold at fine boutiques in New York City, Chicago, Toronto and Taiwan. They can also be E R MO found at tonight’s Gypsy Market at Amigoni Urban Winery (1505 T A INE ONL .COM Genessee, in the West PITCH Bottoms, 913-890-3289). Other local artists and small businesses selling their handmade wares include Two Tone Press, Summers Papery and D Bennett Pottery. Free to attend, the market has a cash bar with Amigoni and Boulevard selections. The market is open from noon to 5 p.m. Search for “Gypsy Market Valentine Sale” on Facebook for more information.

EVENTS

S U N D AY | 2 . 3 |

THE LEE’S SUMMIT SWEET LIFE

S

tores in downtown Lee’s Summit are getting a jump on Valentine’s Day with the annual Chocolate Crawl, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Look for balloons outside participating businesses and score some free chocolate while you shop. New to the event is a stop at City Hall (220 Southeast Green Street), where Mayor Randy Rhoads hands out full-sized candy bars until noon to the first 500 adults. (He also unveils the city’s new brand campaign, “Yours Truly.”) For more information, see downtownls.org.

BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

If you love burlesque, double-entendres or old-timey silk panties, then you recognize the historical significance of Mae West. Claudia Shear’s Dirty Blonde, about the life of West told through the life of a modern-day couple obsessed with the bawdy comedian (the Broadway production in 2000 received four Tony Award nominations), commences the seventh season of the Script-in-Hand performances by Metropolitan Ensemble Theatre at the Kansas City Central Library (14 West 10th Street, 816-701-3400). Admission for the 2 p.m. MET show is free, but RSVPs are requested. See kclibrary.org for more information.

WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM

Though they appear sluggish, buffalo — the North American species of bison — can run

T U E S D AY | 2 . 5 |

GIVE THE GIFT OF 5 PARTIES IN 2013!

HAPPY-HOUR HITLIST: NATIONAL PANCAKE DAY

PASSPORTS

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Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns, is understandable. But does it cover the fear of rapist clowns? The film 100 Tears is the story of sad, lonely clown Gurdy, who seeks revenge on those who have accused him of rape, specifically two tabloid reporters who are trapped in his warehouse. This 2007 NC-17-rated film of the “splatter” genre screens at 7 p.m. at Czar (1531 Grand), its February selection of Slaughter Movie House. “It’s a clown serial-killer movie that is both hilariously bloody and horribly great,” says horror hostess Jill Sixx. Admission to the flick is free, but you must be 18. Clown accoutrements are provided.

LOVE CONNECTION

Her time in sequestration is over. Berlin, the 23-year-old polar bear from Duluth, Minnesota, is the new star in the Kansas City Zoo’s Polar Bear Passage. Officials are hoping that she will mate with 6-year-old Nikita as a part of the American Species Survival Plan. Will today be the day they get it on? Visit the Zoo (6800 Zoo Drive, in Swope Park, 816-513-5800) from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. to catch a peep. For more information, see kansascityzoo.org.

If he were alive, George Herman Ruth Jr. — Babe Ruth — would turn 118 years old today. Pat Walsh, owner of Walsh’s Corner Cocktails (304 West 85th Street, 816-361-7099), in Waldo, celebrates the Bambino’s birthday every year. He’ll choose the Yanks over the Royals any day because he believes the team embodies the classiness of baseball. “Pinstripes on the uniforms and no names on the back. Players are clean-cut, no tattoos showing. Even Jason Giambi had to keep his hair cut,” Walsh notes. At 5 p.m., Walsh lays out a free ballpark-style food buffet — hot dogs, brats, peanuts and popcorn — to honor his team. (Donations are accepted and forwarded to the Johnny Robinson Boys Home in Monroe, Louisiana). Drinks at the Corner are about the same price as they were when the Yankees lost the World Series in 1981. See cornercocktails.com for more information.

E-mail submissions to Filter editor Berry Anderson at calendar@pitch.com. Search our complete listings guide online at pitch.com.

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W E D N E S D AY | 2 . 6 |

COURTESY OF THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

up to 35 or 40 miles per hour. You probably won’t find any bison on today’s Sixth Annual Buffalo Run through the Parkville Nature Sanctuary (north of downtown Parkville at Highway 9 and East 12th Street), but you’ll see a waterfall and run through stretches of wood chips, dirt, gravel, deer trails and the Missouri River bluffs. Races begin at 9 a.m. and include a 1k trail run for kids ($15 race-day entry fee) and 5k and 8k runs for adults ($35). A portion of the proceeds funds projects at the sanctuary. For more information, see runkansascity.com and click on “Events.”

TO ALL PITCH EVENTS ARE

ent begins tomorrow, so while some party today with beads and beer, we encourage the intake of pancakes with your beer. Try one of these joints that serves breakfast with cocktails. Sosa’s 39th Street Diner (3906 Waddell, 816-531-7672). From 6 a.m. to 1:30 a.m., get a tall stack of sweet cream pancakes for $4.99, a short stack for $3.99 or a single flapjack for $1.99 (add a dollar for blueberry or strawberry). Domestic bottles cost $3, and imports are $4. Poco’s (3063 Southwest Boulevard, 816-931-2526). Happy hour at Poco’s runs from 3 to 6 p.m., and specials include $2.50 domestic bottles and $3 imports. Single buttermilk pancakes cost $1.50. Add blueberries, pecans or chocolate for an extra 50 cents. Classic Cup Café (301 West 47th Street, 816-753-1840). This Plaza establishment serves up its “famous buttermilk griddle cakes” on-site but also sells the mix for your home enjoyment. From 7 to 10:30 a.m. today, two cakes with bacon cost $8.95. Pair them with $4 domestic bottles and $4.50 imports.

Union Station

Pershing

Bolender Center

500 W. Pershing Road Kansas City, MO

A RTI STI C DI R E CTO R WI LLI AM WHI T ENER

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S TA G E BY

the life of Klass

D E BO R A H HIRS CH

DON IPOCK

CYNTHIA LEVIN

TIME BENDS

A classic Death and

I

Charley (Mark Robbins) says of the job, “that’s n the decades since the 1949 debut of an earthquake.” Arthur Miller’s Pulitzer Prize–winning In this day, Willy might have aspired to Wall Death of a Salesman, the play’s workingman themes have remained relevant. And its pop- Street, or wanted its rewards for his sons — money, respect, status, a legacy. But Willy has ularity has never waned — last year, its fourth a dual nature, also embodied in his two boys: Broadway revival won two Tony Awards. KC may not have the lights of Broadway, but it a pleasure in working with his hands — he believes that “a man who can’t handle tools is has the Kansas City Repertory Theatre, which not a man” — but the consuming aspiration to is now staging a well-executed, satisfying be more than “a carpenter.” production of this classic. Does Willy have the wrong dreams? Yes, The Rep show, directed by Eric Rosen, remains true to the play’s original time period, as far as Willy’s son Biff (Rusty Sneary) is conbut it is also timeless in its concerns. Miller calls cerned. He doesn’t want any part of his father’s path. But the other son, Happy (Kyle Hatley), is to mind our collective recent past: massive more like Willy than the family realizes. The layoffs, taxpayer bailouts of Wall Street, the 47 assistant to an assistant buyer, he’s trying to percent. He does this, though, by examining make it less on hard work than on big ideas and just one household and its lessons. What makes a man and how we take the measure of a man’s working the system. Or, as Willy says, through the all-important “spirit, personality.” life make up much of the story, which is rich in Charley, a successful professional, is symbolism. Those layers are pulled back in the the opposite of Willy, and he has instilled struggles and interplay of the characters, made a studious nose-to-the-grindstone ethic in real and accessible here by a talented cast. his son, Bernard (Chris Roady). This young Willy Loman is the original 47-percenter, man doesn’t talk up an acand the American stage’s No. complishment or wax about 1 Everyman — “man” being Death of a Salesman his far-reaching hopes. As the key half of that comThrough February 10, Charley says, “He doesn’t pound. This isn’t a working at Kansas City Repertory have to — he’s gonna do it.” woman’s story. Wife Linda Theatre, 4949 Cherry, These relationships and Loman (Merle Moores) is a 816-235-2700, kcrep.org interactions all take place long-suffering and loving in and around the skeleton spouse, and she serves to Blacktop Sky frame of a two-level house, clarify Willy’s story, as do Through February 10, where changes in time — all the characters in this play. at the Unicorn Theatre, from night to day, present Gary Neal Johnson ex3828 Main, 816-531-7529, unicorntheatre.org to past, reality to memory, pertly animates Willy, keepback again — transform ing him in a sympathetic seamlessly with Victor En light while exposing the character’s most damning faults and shortfalls. Yu Tan’s lighting and scenic designer Meghan We feel for this salesman, now past his prime Raham’s shifting screens and backdrops. “You didn’t crack up again, did you?” Willy’s in a world that has changed around him. He’s trying to keep up in a profession that has pro- impatient boss, Howard (Brian Paulette), asks in a pivotal scene that is both startling and vided his identity and defined his self-worth. familiar in its business-as-usual chill. He shows “When they start not smiling back,” neighbor

Johnson and Sneary revisit the past (left), and Morohunfola finds a shelter. off a new gadget costing “only a hundred and a half” (in 1949 dollars), not unaware that Willy has trouble just making the mortgage payment. In a brief appearance, Michael R. Pauley brings a palpable sensitivity to the role of Stanley, waiter to Willy during the salesman’s puzzling evening at a restaurant with his sons. Other small but noteworthy performances include Cheryl Weaver as the (other) Woman and Kip Niven as Willy’s older, idolized brother, Ben. Death of a Salesman runs nearly three hours, a span that goes unnoticed as the play reveals a man and his family through their memories, desires and failures. And at the play’s sad conclusion, when Willy’s worth is clear, time stops for a moment. We pause. And we remember Willy Loman.

BLACKTOP SKY

T

he 34 scenes of Blacktop Sky, a 90-minute one-act by Christina Anderson premiering on the Unicorn Theatre’s Jerome Stage, are necessarily abbreviated. Some last mere seconds. Yet the play’s atypical unfolding feels drawn out. Directed by Mykel Hill, Sky captures our attention at first with a dynamic and telling portrayal of the conflicts and distrust between police and residents in the urban core. Around here, law enforcement translates “I didn’t do anything” as an admission of guilt. And this helps set the tone for life in a housing project — its limits, demoralization, dysfunction, dangers — under a sky between the high-rises that appears, in a character’s mind, too flimsy and insubstantial to hold ideas or dreams. A homeless man, Klass, or “Pigeon” (Tosin Morohunfola), appears and starts to set up house in and around a bench on the blacktop of the housing project’s common area. He’s

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young, and he wears a winter coat in the heat of June. He meets 18-year-old Ida (Chioma Anyanwu), a recent high school grad living in one of the project’s four buildings with her mother. This young woman’s boyfriend, Wynn (Frank Oakley III), also comes in contact with this stranger. Does Ida’s interest in Klass stem from curiosity, or does she want to help him? It’s unclear. Over many interactions among the characters — Ida and Klass, Ida and Wynn, Klass and Wynn — we slowly learn snippets of their aspirations and of their pasts. These infrequent revelations are sometimes sweet and sometimes painful. But the staccato scenes are like clicks of a camera’s shutter, opening windows that are too quickly closed. Anyanwu has a strong, charismatic stage presence. But her character’s limited dimension can’t get out from behind a hard, perhaps protective, shell that restricts our view inside. Morohunfola is onstage for nearly all the play’s duration, and he gives a focused and physical portrayal. His Klass is damaged and sometimes dangerous, but also sympathetic. As written, he remains a mystery, leaving unresolved his character’s story and purpose. Oakley, a theater student, gives us a solid Wynn, who offers promise and equilibrium in a diff use script. The suspicion, distrust and fear that pass between these individuals are sometimes as fixed as between residents and police. They often push each other’s buttons, sometimes intentionally, and further escalate their conflicts and create distance. We can only wonder if this is an expression of their disrupted lives and the apathy that surrounds them. This provocative play raises some issues and many questions, and its choppy narrative and labored unraveling primarily cloud its sky.

E-mail deborah.hirsch@pitch.com

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ART

EMBODIMENT

A CANDY-COATED COMPETITION TO NAME

Jill Downen brings her Sketchbook to life.

KANSAS CITY’S SWEETHEART

BY

THER E S A B EMBNI S T E R

And, you are the judge!

FEB 21

2013

6-8PM

@

P Secure your tickets at secure.pitch.com

J

ill Downen has hundreds of sketchbooks, fi lled with drawings, diagrams, technical notes, lists and journal entries. And since 2007, she has been working on a three-dimensional sketchbook, a series of miniature sculptures created in part as preparation for her full-scale works, some of which have measured 8 feet tall. Taken from that 3-D sketchbook, the 15 models now at Plug Projects (artfully arranged on a E R O M table specially designed and fabricated for this show, in the gallery’s T A INE ONL .COM long, narrow space) come H C PIT across as charming and confident. Charming because of their wee scale, and confident due to Downen’s skillful handling of materials. Architecture and the human body make up Downen’s primary interests, and she has assembled these abstractions of body parts from plaster and wood — materials traditionally used for building. “Tendon,” a slender, white L-shaped form with an elegant slope on the inside and a hard 90-degree angle on the outside, doesn’t immediately suggest human anatomy. But the shape definitely conjures up the white tissue that binds muscle to bone, and the title seals the association. Several of the artist’s tiny tabletop sculptures register as more literal. “Skin” a paperthin, square-shaped piece of plaster with a wrinkled surface, resembles an opaque, hardened patch of human epidermis. In “Nervous System on Support” a neuronlike

ART

form branches outward, while a basswood From left: “Support Structures” and scaffolding structure braces it from below. “Nervous System on Support” Downen is reminding us that architecture’s the material-studies category feel intentional. most basic function is to provide shelter for Is this a weak point in Downen’s work? Not fragile human bodies. necessarily. But after the most spontaneous In a few sculptures, Downen seems more (and also most delightful) moment in the preoccupied with demonstrating plaster’s material qualities than creating a metaphor show, I’m eager to see what she might produce if she lessened her control. In “Three for the relationship between buildings and Dimensional Sketchbook,” the exhibition’s bodies. “Block,” a hardened lump with a surnamesake, a metal cabinet sits in the back face like whipped cream, resists interpretacorner of the gallery, with each drawer tion. “Debris” consists of pulverized plaster marked with a single word bits piled next to lines of (breath, light, room, joined, minuscule fragments arThree Dimensional deconstruction). Open the ranged in painstakingly Sketchbook: a solo drawer labeled embodiment, straight rows. Downen even show by Jill Downen and the motion causes thin drops a few plaster splatters Through March 2 at Plug sheets of gold leaf stored inbehind her “Block Wall,” Projects, 1613 Genessee, side to rise and fall. With her which, as the title suggests, 646-535-7584, plugprojects.com in-depth understanding of is a wall of plaster blocks. materials, Downen knows Downen describes her that this is how the brilliant work as “serious play.” She sheets naturally respond, yet in this instance, tells me: “Everything is intentional. I feel, there’s no way to control the forces enacted as an artist, it is part of my role to work in upon the material. (The gold leaf has personal harmony with materials and let them be what they want to be.” It’s clear by looking significance for Downen; her father, a craftsat “Block” and “Debris” that she knows how man, taught her how to use it.) Downen’s three-dimensional sketches plaster behaves. She knows what her materiare solid, thoughtful works. Despite their als want to be and how to get them to do what small size, they are a significant presence. she wants them to do. But there’s a kind of poetry at work inside Although this exhibition’s title references that embodiment drawer, and seeing it makes a sketchbook, it comes across more as a blueyou long for more of the feeling it delivers print. Downen’s tabletop sculptures aren’t so elsewhere in the show. much attempts to discover, experiment or study as they are controlled, deliberate plans for larger works. Even the pieces that fall into E-mail feedback@pitch.com

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JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

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I

n the 1980s and ’90s, Kansas City fi lmmaker Todd Sheets made dozens of nanobudget horror movies that paid homage to the grindhouse cinema he’d loved as a kid. His titles included Goblin, Moonchild and Zombie Bloodbath, and he enjoyed some casting coups — Violent New Breed featured blaxploitation legend Rudy Ray Moore (Dolemite). Sheets was building the kind of career that earns directors cult fans and derision in equal measure. Then he stopped. Sheets has put out nothing since 2000’s Zombie Bloodbath 3: Zombie Armageddon. He has stayed busy, most recently running Jackalope Radio (jackaloperadio.com), which features a wide variety of broadcast and podcast programs. Among the shows is his own series, Nightwatch, about horror and the paranormal. But last April, Sheets had heart surgery, and the experience convinced him that it was time to return to his calling. So he started shooting House of Forbidden Secrets, in which a shopping-mall security guard (Antwoine Steele) discovers that he has been patrolling the site of a 1930s brothel where a massacre occurred. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t learn this from a history book. Sheets says new technology and a new pool of talented local actors, many of whom were children when he went on hiatus,

Above: Makeup artist Rod Zirkle prepares Shawna Downing to stalk victims as a siren. Left: Bruce Caine (Troll 2 star George Hardy) discovers that all the weird noises he has heard in his building have nothing to do with leaky pipes. In addition to Hardy, the film also features Allan Kayser (Night of the Creeps, Mama’s Family).

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• FULL HOUSE, • AMERICA’S FUNNIEST PEOPLE, • SURREAL LIFE should help him make House of Forbidden Secrets stronger than anything in his earlier fi lmography. He has done much of his shooting inside offseason haunted houses the Beast and Macabre Cinema, which have the creepy atmosphere he needs. “The radio thing really took up my time,” Sheets says. “I wanted to do more growing as a fi lmmaker. I’d made so many movies. Some of them I was proud of, some of them I defi nitely was not. All those really early movies, I disowned. I didn’t want to make any movies I wasn’t proud of.” Sheets invited The Pitch to watch him work. Here’s what a day of Forbidden Secrets looks like.

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JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

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CAFÉ

CHECKING IN

MetropolitanKC restores the downtown Marriott’s culinary bona fides.

BY

CHARLES FERRUZZA

MetropolitanKC • 200 West 12th Street, 816-421-6800 • Hours: breakfast 6:30–10 a.m. Monday–Friday, 6:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Saturday and Sunday; lunch 11 a.m.–2 p.m. daily; dinner 5–11 p.m. daily • Price: $$–$$$

n 1985, the impressive new Vista International Hotel opened on 12th Street, the first new downtown Kansas City hotel in more than a decade. It sat on a notorious piece of property: a block-long stretch of trashy saloons and strip joints. The bars and clubs had been popular with convention visitors to the city (particularly during the 1976 Republican National Convention), but the locals saw the raucous neighborhood as seriously blighted, and it was bulldozed in 1982 to make way for the Vista. Sadly, the Vista didn’t last even as long as Mike’s Pink Door, one of those old 12th Street favorites. By 1987, the name and management of the mammoth brick hotel had been replaced. The Pistilli family, former operators of the Alameda Plaza Hotel (and, until 2005, the Raphael Hotel), began overseeing the property. When the Pistillis’ Raphael Restaurant Group, known for its excellent food service, took over the running of the hotel, it immediately closed the Vista’s E upscale dining venue, R MO the Harvest Room: “It was doing, maybe, six AT covers a night,” Kevin E N I ONL .COM Pistilli tells me. “We PITCH couldn’t afford to keep it open.” Pistilli and his sister, Cynthia Pistilli Savage, remain in charge of the hotel, which has been a Marriott (owned by a local business group) for 25 years. Over that quarter century, the hotel has done without a good restaurant. There was a coffee shop, Lilly’s, on the lobby level, but for years it was one of the worst hotel dining rooms in town, plagued by sullen service and unexceptional food — a head-scratcher given that the cuisine at both the Alameda Plaza and the Raphael Hotel was always extraordinary. In fact, the Alameda Plaza’s Pam Pam Room pretty much set the local hotel standard for decades. What happened? “During that period of time,” Pistilli says, “people’s expectations of dining in a hotel really changed. There was a time when a firstclass hotel, like the Muehlebach in its heyday, had three different dining rooms. But hotel customers no longer stayed in to eat. The dining experience was outsourced to the community, even when Kansas City lacked a variety of good restaurants downtown. Guests would travel to Crown Center or the Plaza to eat instead of dining in the hotel. “We’re a convention hotel,” Pistilli adds. “Our hotel-dining business is primarily breakfast and lunch. Dinner business is a bit more quiet.” He pauses. “No, a lot more quiet.” A sad-sack space like Lilly’s was for a long time good enough for those conventioneers. Then, suddenly, it wasn’t. The Raphael Restaurant Group spent a lot of dough overhauling the hotel’s lobby a couple of years ago, then turned its attention to Lilly’s. “The

CAFÉ

ANGELA C. BOND

I

restaurant was dated-looking,” Pistilli says. Diners can get lost in a Bermuda Triangle “And the food was good. But we wanted to cake, hook into barbecue salmon and find take it up a notch, to make it more accessible ’shroom service at the downtown Marriott. to our younger hotel guests, more contempoing, for instance, the corn-f lake-crusted rary. It’s not a fine-dining restaurant. We’re “crunchy French toast.” (Sliced bananas and not Bluestem.” strawberries saved the dish from banality.) Last October, after a major renovation, the Much better is a hash made with chunks of former Lilly’s reopened as MetropolitanKC. And no, it isn’t Bluestem, but it’s the best barbecue brisket, chopped spuds, peppers thing to happen to this Marriott in 20 years. and runny poached eggs. It’s an excellent The room is classy and comfortable, the ser- dish, so rich that the hollandaise sauce is almost unnecessary. The vice friendly and attentive. three-egg omelet I tried Best of all, though, is the MetropolitanKC was nearly as big as a footsmart young chef named Crunchy French toast ........$10 ball and tasted good, but I Vincent Paredes, who has House-made barbecue prefer Paredes’ eggs Beneelevated the food a great brisket hash ......................$12 dict, a top-notch version. deal. MetropolitanKC is a Eggs Benedict ......................$11 One afternoon in the dinrestaurant worth dining in Classic Reuben ....................$11 ing room, I ran into a fussy frequently if you spend your Barbecue salmon, lunch portion.....................$13 downtown restaurateur, days downtown or near it. Kansas City strip .............. $30 who insisted that I order The menu and the décor the Reuben sandwich. It was at the sunny, pretty Metoutstanding, but I haven’t ropolitanKC aren’t as sophisticated as what you’ll find a few blocks craved it the way I’ve wished for more of the $15 lunch special that Paredes created for Resaway at the Reserve, in the new Ambassador Hotel, or as inspired as Providence, over in taurant Week: a gorgeous cup of parsnip-andpear soup, perfectly complemented by a fluffy the nearby Hilton President. The prices are croque monsieur sandwich. in line with that competition. A friend of The kitchen’s subtle sense of invention mine was scandalized at having to fork over is evident in the barbecue salmon. The fish $10 for a plate of buttermilk pancakes, then remembered he was eating at a hotel. The I tasted had a lightly crispy exterior and a place holds its own, and there are signs that moist, pink center, and the avocado relish blanketing it was just right. It came perched it’s going to continue improving. For now, some of Paredes’ concepts on a tasty mash of soothing caulif lower, which had none of the graininess that somesound better than they taste. I’m recall-

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times hinders the vegetable. It’s a dish that’s modern without being pushy about it. There are, of course, steaks — tourists want Kansas City’s signature dish. Paredes serves up a fine 12-ounce, wet-aged KC strip. (Vegetarians don’t fare as well here and must cobble together a meal of side dishes or request that the rigatoni marinara be served without its veal meatballs.) Like all modern hotel restaurants, MetropolitanKC has been designed for the building’s paying guests. But for the first time, this room is a worthy destination for diners venturing downtown for a Sprint Center concert or a show at Quality Hill Playhouse or the Kauffman Center. It also serves late, by downtown standards, running till 11 p.m. I predict an alteration there, though, if too few locals are persuaded to give this dining room a chance. After all, to be a truly metropolitan venue, MetropolitanKC needs patrons from all over the metro.

Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review? E-mail charles.ferruzza@pitch.com

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emember when we just called a sandwich a sandwich? When the Rusty Horse Tavern opened in Parkville last year, a sandwich category must have seemed a little too plebeian because the first menu at the place listed the burgers and bratwurst-on-bun creations as “hand held meals.” The owners have evidently come to their senses because the category is now just titled “sandwiches.” But the desire to be different is hardly limited to a few neighborhood taverns. The Rusty Horse probably got its goofy category idea from some other menu somewhere with an even sillier name for its burgers. (The re-

Can we please stop with the goofy menu categories?

BY

CHARLES FERRUZZA

BALL CONTROL

cently opened Louie’s Wine Dive in Waldo calls its sandwiches “sandies,” which is a trend unto itself and one that I wish would cease.) Such winsome nomenclature might work for a children’s menu, but those of us old enough to order a glass of wine with dinner really would prefer that restaurants just call foods by their names. Below is Fat City’s menu-category grievance list. These are all real categories on actual Kansas City restaurant menus. Restaurant owners, if you’re reading, please keep this in mind: Some of the most eye-rolling categories here are from the menus of restaurants that went out of business over the past year.

LOCAL withiends fr

pitch.com > Restaurants > Restaurant Guide

· Affäre Under Water · ery · · Create Your Ow n Green · Homage to My Family · · Af ternoon Delight ·

F

s) (referring to sandwiche

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THE PITCH

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

.co m

at City brings you a great moment in sandwich innovation. This one is directed toward the hero purveyors, sub sellers and sandwich shops across the metro. Mario’s in Westport (204 Westport Road) makes the ultimate sandwich to-go, thanks to a cleverly placed bread cap that covers the opening of its classic grinders.   This is hoagie alchemy: A halfsandwich becomes a whole. The sandwich cap has two key components. It ensures portability of the sandwich and gives you the option of slicing the grinder in half and creating two viable halves (that is, meatballs will not be falling out the back as you attack the front). A side benefit is that the bread cap helps the sandwich retain its heat if you’re driving before eating it. Meatball subs typically don’t age well, but Mario’s can hold on a little longer than most because the warmth is trapped inside. The traditional crusty bread ensures that things won’t get soggy while you’re waiting. The grinder shop typically offers a lunch special called “the perfect lunch,” a grinder of the day, a side of pasta salad and a can of soda for $7. Here’s hoping that more sub shops consider a bread plug. It does wonders for containing the guts of a sandwich that seem hellbent on ruining your dress shirt.

E-mail jonathan.bender@pitch.com pitch.com

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MONTH

Valentine’s Day Guide

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THE PITCH

27

WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY

KNUCKLEHEADS F re e S h u tt le in S u rr o u n d in g A reth e a

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NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM

Under the weather at Party Arty

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D AV ID HUDN A L L

JANUARY 30: HillBenders & Hatrick 31: Blue Orleans

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THE PITCH

woke up last Saturday morning with drenched sheets. Not from pee! I never pee the bed! You’ll just have to take my word about that. It was sweat. I was sick: the flu. My mouth was dry and chapped and full of gross mucus. I was drained, lightheaded, sapped of energy. On top of that, I had pulled a muscle in my neck the day before. I could barely lift my head off the pillow. Party Arty, the annual benefit for the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, started in a mere 10 hours. “Must … network … with … young Kansas City professionals!” I croaked, my fists balled up and shaking. I was told that the cure-all for my symptoms was something called Tamiflu. I got ahold of my doctor, and he called in a prescription to CVS. “That’ll be $120,” the pharmacist told me. “I’m sorry,” I said, coughing into my armpit. “I thought you said one hundred and twenty dollars.” “That’s correct,” he said. A hundred and twenty dollars! It ended up being half that with my insurance, but still: Health care is out of control in this country! When will you people wake up to this crisis! I moaned and grunted and slept for most of the day. Then, at 8 p.m., I put on a suit and tie and drove my busted-ass car to the Nelson. I had no choice; there was no backup plan for this column. I need to start becoming the type of person who has backup plans for things. I rolled up to the parking garage underneath the museum and watched as a procession of luxury sedans and SUVs made their way in. I decided it might be best if I just parked on the street and walked from there. The new thing with my car is that it must always be moving. If it sits idle, stopped at a light or in line at the bank, the whole car just rattles. It’s very loud, and after a few seconds, other motorists and passers-by start to look around for the source of the noise. At that

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

pitch.com

point, I usually open my glove compartment and pretend to look for something. I do this for as long as it takes. But there were no parking spots on the street nearby, so I circled back into the garage and distanced myself from the car as quickly as possible. Off to a strong start! I hadn’t previously attended a Party Arty. All I knew going in was that it was supposed to be fancy, and that the guests tend to be upwardly mobile individuals in their 20s and 30s. Both of those things, I can report, are true. This was a very classy, professionally executed event. A lot of beautiful people were in attendance. Where are all these beautiful people hiding the rest of the year? It was like I’d been teleported to a different city. There was a line near the entrance to get your photo taken, but I crept around it and made my way into the party. Nobody bothered to look my way, but if they had, the general visual would have been something like Anthony Hopkins getting wheeled around on that dolly in The Silence of the Lambs. I made my way to more forgiving lighting and soaked in the party. I ended up staying for about three hours and having an aboveaverage time. Here are some observations:  • Party Arty sold out in advance. Tickets cost $90 for general admission, $160 for VIP. I bumped into a guy I went to high school with who told me he’d paid $120 for his GA ticket on Craigslist. Somebody else told me that tickets were going for as high as $200 the day of the event. That is probably too much money to pay to go to Party Arty. Then again, I get the sense that, for a certain type of person in Kansas City, not attending Party Arty is, as they say in high school movies, like committing social suicide. • The GA section of the party contained a couple of open bars — with Tito’s Vodka, Dewar’s, Boulevard beers — a DJ, and a handful of naked women in body paint perched atop white, art-displaying pedestals. These women weren’t dancing. They were mostly

All kinds of art on display posing. Then sometimes they would change their poses in elegant ways. One looked like Poison Ivy. One was a swan or something. I think it was supposed to fit into the “Eternal Spring” theme of the party. But they were really quite naked! They were so naked that I was at first too bashful to even glance at their crotches. Ultimately, I did end up catching glimpses of their crotches, which looked to be obscured by tiny pieces of cloth. • It is hard not to feel like a total peepingTom perv when you are taking pictures (with the flash on) of naked women at a party. But it seemed important to supply our readers with the full experience.  • I was able to worm my way into the VIP section, which was up some steps and through an ethereal, aviarylike walkway. The VIP section was made up of two rooms. One had a circular bar and a dance-floor area. The other was Rozzelle Court, which is the restaurant inside the Nelson with indoor trees and a fountain. In Rozzelle Court, there were vendor tables from the Jacobson, Local Pig, Snow & Co., and a few others. In GA, chips and salsa were set out, and I’m pretty sure the salsa was Pace Thick ’n Chunky. In VIP, you could get little guacamole samplers from Port Fonda, and maybe a Tank 7. But other than that (and, apparently, free valet service), VIP offered no substantial benefits. I’d say more fun was being had in GA. There were definitely more people dancing. • There were way too many men excited to be wearing fedoras. • Outstanding cupcakes. Had about three. Five, maybe. I was unable to network at Party Arty. I’m not sure what networking is. It’s like talking to people, but being really calculating and selective about it, right? Plus, I had the flu. Maybe next year. 

E-mail david.hudnall@pitch.com pitch.com

MONTH

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JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

THE PITCH

29

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ou only needed to be 16 years old to attend Frost, the winter EDM Festival that Global Dance threw at the Midland Friday, January 25. And many of the 2,700 or so revelers weren’t much older than that. The packed house got down to dubstep and various other strains of electronic music from Zed’d Dead, Krewella, Figure, Seven Lions, Popeska, DJ Fury + MC Dino, plus localregional acts like FSTZ, Marcobiotics, Evil Bastards, Plunkie, Panduh, Mr. Hyde, Kill OG, DJ Reeves, Adam Bryce, Jeff rey B, Jesse Wallace, and DJ NVS. Pitch photographer Lynn Collins caught some of the action. See more photos from the party online at pitch.com.  

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30

THE PITCH

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

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#49 – The Pitch – 1/31/13

RAWEDNESDAYS February 6, 2013

ChippENDAlES February 9, 2013

GARY AllAN

February 17, 2013

presents

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BO DEANS February 9th, 8:30pm

DAViD AllAN CoE April 11, 2013

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Kilroy Presents: Cover Wars Revive with K Hamma and Bobby Keys Flirt Friday 1-800-745-3000

2/14 2/15

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(special no cover charge night)

Revelation with Women of Rock and Rattle & Hum

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V2_69664.49_4.776x10.75_4c_Ad.indd 1

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

THE PITCH

31

1/25/13 2:23 PM

MUSIC

RADAR

M U S I C F O R E CAST

BY

Other shows worth seeing this week.

D AV ID HUDN A L L

THURSDAY 31 Brantley Gilbert, Kip Moore: Independence Events Center, 19100 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence.

FRIDAY 1 Stern conducts Schumann, plus “Symphonic Pictures”: Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, 816-994-7200. Wax Tailor, Sam Lachow: The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

SATURDAY 2 El Monstero: Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665.

SUNDAY 3 The Growlers, Jaill, Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas, Radkey, Uzis: The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Ed Sheeran, Rizzle Kicks, Foy Vance: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Stern conducts Schumann, plus “Symphonic Pictures”: Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, 816-994-7200.

MONDAY 4

From left: Cam'ron, Lady Gaga and Kid Rock

Heartfelt Anarchy

Heartfelt Anarchy is the newish collaboration between Les Izmore (best known as the guy who raps in Hearts of Darkness) and D/Will, a producer and beat maker (and occasional MC) about town. I caught the duo in October at the Riot Room. Izmore stomped around the stage barking out bars; D/Will wore a mask and tapped out beats on one of those MPC machines like AraabMuzik uses. It was pretty cool. The $10 cover to this show includes a copy of Heartfelt Anarchy’s debut album, as well as performances from jazz trio Diverse and DJ Soulnice. Friday, Februa ry 1, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207)

Kid Rock

“Born Free,” the 2010 Kid Rock song from the album of the same name, has so much going against it. It was Mitt Romney’s official campaign theme song. Its classic-rock hooks are totally basic and worn-to-the-bone. And its vague red-state freedom-lover lyrics are as empty as the old neighborhoods in Rock’s hometown of Detroit. It is absolutely dumb as hell. It is also one of my favorite pop songs of the past two years. What can I say? When I bump that motherfucker in my Nissan Altima, I feel like a fucking superhero. I’m not hearing

anything I like quite as much on last year’s Rebel Soul — it’s just more of the same redneck party imagery and Southern-rock plagiarism — but give me a little more time with it, and I’m sure I can find something. Saturday, February 2, at Sprint Center (1407 Grand, 816-949-7000)

Cam’ron

Cam’ron kicked off 2013 by dropping a new single, “You Know This.” It’s not terrible. Like a lot of Cam’s stuff, it’s a dense, non-sequiturridden brag session, but it’s not a return to his early ’00s form, either. This Riot Room show seems like it could go either way. It might be a no-effort, cash-grab gig or maybe we’ll see a hungry side of Cam, eager to reclaim his place as one of the most elite rappers in the game. Tuesday, February 5, at the Riot Room (4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179)

Lady Gaga

Spoiler alert: The stage show for Lady Gaga’s current tour, called the Born This Way Ball, includes a horse, a motorcycle and a giant castle. Madonna required 29 trucks to haul her touring spectacle to Sprint Center last fall, and I’d imagine that Gaga is somewhere in the same

F O R E C A S T

32

ballpark. Gaga recently announced that fashion photographer Terry Richardson is working on a documentary about her life and the making of her much-anticipated new album, Artpop, but it’s still anybody’s guess when that record will see the light of day. Monday, February 4, at Sprint Center (1407 Grand, 816-949-7000)

Calexico’s calling card — alt-country soundscapes with a Tex-Mex flavor — has long been informed by Tucson, Arizona, the group’s hometown and recording headquarters. For last year’s Algiers, though, the members migrated to New Orleans and recorded in a converted Baptist church. They didn’t exactly morph into the Meters or the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, but they did return with an album that’s louder, grander and poppier (relatively speaking) than anything they’d done before. Expect a set that’s heavy on cuts from Algiers as well as favorites from Calexico’s six other damn-excellent desert-folk albums. Saturday, February 2, at the Granada (1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390)

K E Y ....................................................East Coast Rap

.................................................. Locally Sourced

................................................... Discreet Flasks

............................................... Parental Advisory

.........................................Record-Release Party

...................................................... Mariachi Vibe

....................................................................LGBT

.......................................Possible Beer Spraying

.............................................................. Bilingual

...................................................... Live Stallions

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Hunter Valentine, Shadow Paint: Czar, 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Josh Turner, and more: VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777.

WEDNESDAY 6 Savoy, Lasers, Grandtheft: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

FEBRUARY FRIDAY 8 Afentra’s VD Party with Shiny Toy Guns, Willy Moon, Beautiful Bodies, iamdynamite: The Midland SUNDAY 10 Emilie Autumn: The Granada, Lawrence FRIDAY 15 Zac Brown Band: Sprint Center Galactic: Liberty Hall, Lawrence SUNDAY 17 Electric Six, the Dead Girls: The Riot Room Nick Offerman: The Midland THURSDAY 21 Toro Y Moi, Sinkane: The Granada, Lawrence FRIDAY 22 Talib Kweli: The Granada, Lawrence WEDNESDAY 27 Maroon 5: Sprint Center THURSDAY 28 Yonder Mountain String Band: Liberty Hall, Lawrence

MARCH

...............................................Confederate Flags

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

TUESDAY 5

FUTURECAST

Calexico

..................................................Pick of the Week

THE PITCH

Official Lady Gaga After-Party with Lady Starlight, the Dirty Pearls: Czar, 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Vacationer, La Guerre, Akkilles: The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

pitch.com

WEDNESDAY 6 Slightly Stoopid, Tribal Seeds: Liberty Hall, Lawrence SUNDAY 10 Alabama Shakes: Uptown Theater TUESDAY 12 STS9: Liberty Hall, Lawrence WEDNESDAY 13 STS9: Liberty Hall, Lawrence MONDAY 18 Yes: The Midland

M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

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1

We Deliver!

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33

NIGHTLIFE Send submissions to Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer by e-mail (abbie.stutzer@pitch.com), fax (816-756-0502) or phone (816-218-6926). Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly.

T H U R S D AY 31 ROCK/POP/INDIE Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Mercury Mad and Christina Foo, SeedLove, Ab5urdum, Last Fallen Star. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. The Bad Ideas, Pale Hearts, the Quivers. O’Dowd’s Little Dublin: 4742 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2700. Patrick Lentz. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. The New Cosmopolitans, Evil Twin, 10 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. John Paul’s Flying Circus. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Grand Marquis. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Nipplehouse. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Baum Tom Band.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS The Dubliner: 170 E. 14th St., 816-268-4700. Noe Palma.

DJ The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Team Bear Club’s Goomba Rave, 9 p.m., $3/$5. Dark Horse Tavern: 4112 Pennsylvania, 816-931-3663. Live DJ. MiniBar: 3810 Broadway, 816-326-8281. DJ Tequila Bear. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-492-3900. DJ Brad Sager.

ACOUSTIC Lenexa Longbranch Steakhouse: 8600 Marshall Dr., Overland Park, 913-894-5334. Andy Dewitt. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816-2201222. Bob Reeder.

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Mambo DeLeon and Carte Blanc. Chaz on the Plaza: 325 Ward Pkwy., 816-802-2152. Joe Cartwright Duo. Hotel Phillips: 106 W. 12th St., 816-221-7000. The Stan Kessler Duo, with Kathleen Holeman. Jazz: 1859 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-328-0003. Billy Ebeling. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Bram Wijnands, 7 p.m. Sunset Grill: 14577 Metcalf, Overland Park, 913-681-1722. Tony Antonucci, 7:30 p.m.

34

THE PITCH

WORLD

CLASSICAL

REGGAE

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-492-3900. DJ TA. Strikerz Entertainment Center: 18900 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence, 816-313-5166. DJ night. Z Strike: 1370 Grand, 816-471-2316. Fabowlous Fridays with DJ Nuveau, 9 p.m.

Californos: 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. Chamber Concert.

Afrobeat: 9922 Holmes, 816-943-6333. Reggae Rockers, 10 p.m.

HIP-HOP

COMEDY

SINGER-SONGWRITER

Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Hip-Hop 2.0 with Illphonics, Phantom, Scripts & Screws.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. Live Reggae with AZ-One.

Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Cowboy Bill Martin. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Dov Davidoff.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Extreme Bingo. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Brodioke. Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455. Trivia, Ladies’ Night, and DJ HoodNasty. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Hot Caution Thursdays, 10 p.m., free. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. “You Sing It” Live Band Karaoke. The Granada: 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. The Big Lebowski Party. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Charity Bingo with Valerie Versace, 8 p.m., $1 per game. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Karaoke, 8:30 p.m. J. Murphy’s Irish Pub and Grille: 22730 Midland Dr., Shawnee, 913-8253880. Ladies’ night. MORE Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-9625253. Trivia. GS IN Johnny’s Tavern: 8262 Mission, T LIS E AT Prairie Village, 913-901-0322. Bingo. N I L ON M Mac’s Place: 580 S. Fourth St., PITCH.CO Edwardsville. Karaoke. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-5610625. Karaoke on the main floor, 10 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Trivia Clash, 7 p.m. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Karaoke, ladies’ night specials. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Uptown Heat, 10:30 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Trivia, 9 p.m.

CLUB

EASY LISTENING Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-8949676. Interactive Acoustic with Jason Kayne.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. Blues Jam hosted by RocknRick’s Boogie Leggin’ Blues Band, 7 p.m.

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

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Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816-525-1871. Blues, Country and Classic Rock Jam with Rick Eidson and friends.

Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Betse Ellis, Cheri Lu Woods, Laura Lisbeth.

F R I D AY 1 ROCK/POP/INDIE Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-3845646. The Biff Tannens, and more. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Kill Noise Boys. Kelly’s Westport Inn: 500 Westport Rd., 816-561-5800. Mikey Needleman Band. Lenexa Longbranch Steakhouse: 8600 Marshall Dr., Overland Park, 913-894-5334. The Bottom Feeders. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. The Dead Girls, the Depth and the Whisper, 10 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Matt Walsh Band. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Cadillac Flambe, Rural Grit All Stars. Icons Restaurant & Lounge: 1108 Grand, 816-472-4266. The Boss Kingz, 8 p.m. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Blackout Drunk. The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Groove Agency. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. The Old Crows, 5:30 p.m.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. American Aquarium, Living Room session, 8 p.m. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Brother Bagman, 9 p.m. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. James Rose & friends, Jazz Cigarettes, 6 p.m.

DJ Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. DCal. Club Monaco: 334 E. 31st St., 816-753-5990. DJ Shaun Flo. The Granada: 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Red Bull Thre3style with DJ Savy, DJ Ray-Ban, DJ Feast, DJ Tom Richman, DJ Kimbarely Legal. The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. Gruv: First Friday, 10 p.m. MiniBar: 3810 Broadway, 816-326-8281. Cinemaphonic, 10 p.m. Mosaic Lounge: 1331 Walnut, 816-679-0076. DJ Allen Michael, DJ Eric Coomes. The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. DJ E.

pitch.com

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Eddie Moore and the Outer Circle. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Lonnie McFadden, 4:30 p.m.; JLove Band, 9 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913948-5550. The Sons of Brasil. Thai Place: 9359 W. 87th St., Overland Park, 913-649-5420. Jerry Hahn.

WORLD Blvd. Nights: 2805 Southwest Blvd., 816-931-6900. Good Fridays: International Party Experience, 10 p.m.

COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Cowboy Bill Martin, 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Skylight Restaurant and Sports Bar: 1867 S.W. State Rt. 7, Blue Springs, 816-988-7958. Mike’s Comedy Club, 8 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Dov Davidoff, 7:45 & 9:45 p.m.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Juke Box. The Brooksider: 6330 Brookside Plz., 816-363-4070. Team Trivia, 7 p.m. Club Rain: 8015 Troost, 816-361-2900. Happy hour, 5 p.m. ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m. Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. DJ, ladies’ night, karaoke. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. KC’s Original Dueling Pianos. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Maryoke with Monique. Helen’s Just Another Dive: 2002 Armour Rd., North Kansas City, 816-471-4567. Trivia Riot with Roland, 7:30 p.m., $5. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Karaoke, 8:30 p.m. J. Murphy’s Irish Pub and Grille: 22730 Midland Dr., Shawnee, 913-825-3880. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Maker’s Mark Bourbon House & Lounge: 1333 Walnut, 816442-8115. La Femme First Fridays. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Ab Fab Fridays on the main floor, 9 p.m. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free.

M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

THE PITCH

1

Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Shawnee, 913-2684006. Dart tournament, 8 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Mardi Gras Party, 9 p.m. Wilde’s Chateau 24: 2412 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-856-1514. Dance Party.

REGGAE The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. 77 Jefferson.

R O C K A B I L LY Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. The Belairs, the Hella Go-Go Girls, performing the music of Duane Eddy, 9 p.m.

VA R I E T Y Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. MidCoast Takeover Benefit with the Late Night Callers, Tiny Horse, Eyelit. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Potluck Productions Dramatic Readings, 7 p.m. VooDoo Lounge: Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. Cover Wars.

S AT U R D AY 2 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Assembly of Dust. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Claire & the Crowded Stage. The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Rob Foster and Dudes. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Panda Circus, Theo’s Mystic Robot Orchestra, R Type Final. Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913962-5253. Live music. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. The Crumpletons, 7 p.m. Lenexa Longbranch Steakhouse: 8600 Marshall Dr., Overland Park, 913-894-5334. Issues. The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Bob Harvey Band, 5 p.m.; Saucy Jack, 10 p.m. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Rock Paper Scissors, 9 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Mama Ray Jazz Meets Blues Jam, 2 p.m.; Mike Elrod and the Roosters, 9 p.m. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Lucus Parker Band, 10 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Trampled Under Foot, 8:30 p.m. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Cadillac Flambe, 9 p.m. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Crosseyed Cat, 5:30 p.m. Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Shawnee, 913-2684006. Rock and blues jam, 8 p.m.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. The Desert Wine Band. Kelly’s Westport Inn: 500 Westport Rd., 816-561-5800. Flannigan’s Right Hook.

2

THE PITCH

M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

DJ Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. DJ Finius. Club Monaco: 334 E. 31st St., 816-753-5990. DJ Pure. The Eighth Street Taproom: 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918. Saturday Soulclap with Josh Powers. Hotel: 1300 Grand, 816-226-3232. DJ Eric Coomes. Johnny’s Tavern: 6765 W. 119th St., Leawood, 913-451-4542. Live DJ, 9 p.m. MiniBar: 3810 Broadway, 816-326-8281. DJ Billy Belzer, 10 p.m. The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. DJ Chris. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-492-3900. DJ Brad Sager.

M E TA L / P U N K Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Metal Madness.

VA R I E T Y Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Versatile CD release. The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. MidCoast Takeover SXSW Benefit with Six Percent, Maps For Travelers, Drop a Grand, Various Blonde. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. KC Cabaret variety show, 9:30 p.m.

JAZZ

S U N D AY 3

The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Darryl White Quartet. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Tim Whitmer & KC Express, 4:30 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913948-5550. Sequel: a Medeski, Martin & Wood Tribute.

DJ Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Bad Music Sundays with Brett Dietrich, 3:30 p.m. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Sunday Funday with DJ G Train on the patio.

COMEDY

JAZZ

Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-3845646. Rock Comedy with Don Jamieson, Quietly Violent. ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. ComedyCity After Dark, 10 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Cowboy Bill Martin, 9:45 p.m. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy on the main floor, 10 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Dov Davidoff, 7:45 & 9:45 p.m.

Chaz on the Plaza: 325 Ward Pkwy., 816-802-2152. Les Mengel Duo, 5-9 p.m. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Mark Lowrey Jazz Trio open jam session, 5 p.m.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Avalon Ultra Lounge: 5505 N.E. Antioch, 816-452-CLUB. Ladies’ night, no cover for ladies until 10:30 p.m., $2 drink specials, $10. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Groundhog Day Parade, 4:30 p.m. Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Live music. ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. KC’s Original Dueling Pianos. 403 Club: 403 N. Fifth St., 913-499-8392. Pinball tournament, cash prize for winner, 4:30 p.m., $5 entry fee. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Charity Bingo, 5 p.m.; Maryoke, 9 p.m. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Karaoke, 8:30 p.m. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Shawnee, 913-2684006. Pool tournament, 1 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. First Anniversary and Groundhog Day Party, 5 p.m. Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913-5419255. Karaoke, 9 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Open Blues Jam with Earl Baker, 4 p.m.

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SINGER-SONGWRITER Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. Singer-Songwriter Sundays.

M O N D AY 4 ROCK/POP/INDIE

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. Texas Hold ’em. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Game watch party and chili, 3 p.m. The Fox and Hound: 10428 Metcalf, Overland Park, 913-6491700. Poker, 7 & 10 p.m. Frank James Saloon: 10919 N.W. Hwy. 45, Parkville, 816-5050800. Karaoke, 6-10 p.m. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Mary’s Drag Brunch, 11 a.m. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Karaoke, 8:30 p.m. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Soupy Cook-Off. Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913962-5253. Free pool, 3 p.m. Johnny’s Tavern: 13410 W. 62nd Terr., Shawnee, 913-962-5777. Live music. Johnny’s Tavern - Lawrence: 410 N. Second St., Lawrence, 785-842-0377. Poker. McFadden’s Sports Saloon: 1330 Grand, 816-471-1330. The Big Game. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy on the main floor, 10 p.m.; Show Stopper Karaoke, midnight. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-492-3900. Free pool. Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913-5419255. Texas Hold ’em, 6 & 9 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Texas Hold ’em, 3 & 6 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Groove Station: 9916 Holmes, 816-942-1000. KC Blues Jam with Crosseyed Cat, 2-6 p.m.

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The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Open blues jam, 7 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Open Jam with Levee Town, 2 p.m., free. R.G.’s Lounge: 9100 E. 35th St., Independence, 816-358-5777. Jam Night hosted by Dennis Nickell, Scotty Yates, Rick Eidson, and Jan Lamb, 5 p.m.

The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Taking Back Mondays with Sovereign States, 9 p.m., free.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Barnyard Beer: 925 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-393-9696. Mudstomp Mondays.

JAZZ Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Jazzbo. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Mark Lowrey Trio, 6 p.m. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Millie Edwards and friends, 7 p.m.

COMEDY Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. MANic Monday on the main floor, 10 p.m., free.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS The All-Star Rock Bar: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Monday Mancave: sports, drink and food specials. The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Rural Grit Happy Hour, 6 p.m. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Trivia, service industry night. Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. Texas Hold ’em. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. Mancave Mondays. Green Room Burgers & Beer: 4010 Pennsylvania, Ste. D, 816216-7682. Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Maryoke. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Karaoke Idol with Tanya McNaughty. Nara: 1617 Main, 816-221-6272. Brodioke. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Sonic Spectrum Music Trivia, 7 p.m., $5. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Sam Club Karaoke with Scary Manilow, 10 p.m. Shark Bar: 1340 Grand, 816-442-8140. Lady Gaga Pre and Post-Party. Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Tell a Joke Mondays. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Snazzy Cheap-Ass Drinks, all night. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Texas Hold ’em, 8 p.m.

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

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OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Songwriter’s Scene Open Mic with Jon Theobald, 7 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Jonny Green and Jake Stanton Open Mic and Jam Session, 8 p.m.; James Inman’s Microphone: Comedy (or Whatever) Open Mic, 10 p.m.

VA R I E T Y Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Gin and Talk Variety Show, 10 p.m.

T U E S D AY 5 BLUES/FUNK/SOUL

Each week, Pitch Street Team cruises around to the hottest clubs, bars and concerts. You name it, we will be there. While we are out, we hand out tons of cool stuff. So look for the Street Team... We will be looking for you!

B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Hudspeth and Shinetop. Slow Ride Roadhouse: 1350 N. Third St., Lawrence, 785-7492727. Lonnie Ray Blues Band.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Elkheart’s Downtown Outlaw Fiasco, 7 p.m., free. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Rex Hobart’s Honky Tonk Supper Club, 7:30-9:30 p.m., free.

DJ Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Service industry night, 9 p.m. The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. The Dropout Boogie, 10 p.m., no cover.

JAZZ The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Open Jam with Everette DeVan, 7 p.m.

COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Clash of the Comics.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS

Matisyahu @ Uptown

Flogging Molly @ Indie

See more on the “promotions” link at p Tua ca Promo @ KC Live

Tuaca Promo @ KC Live

Upcoming Events

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OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS DiCarlo’s Mustard Seed Mexican-Americana Restaurant & Bar: 15015 E. U.S. Hwy. 40, 816-373-4240. Blues, country and classic rock hosted by Rick Eidson and friends. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Dave Hays Band Open Jam. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Open Mic Night.

SINGER-SONGWRITER

2.1 - First Friday @ KC Ballet 2.8 - Val-o-ween Neon Nights @ Foundation 2.9 - Pitch Presents the BoDeans @ Knuckleheads 2.9 - Randy Rogers Band @ Uptown Theater

36

The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Super Nerd Night. The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Bingo and Blvd. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Double feature movie night. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Team Trivia with Teague Hayes, 7 p.m., $5 buy-in. Double Nickel Bar: 189 S. Rogers, Ste. 1614, Olathe, 913-3900363. Poker night. Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. Pool night. The Drop: 409 E. 31st St., 816-756-3767. Brodioke, 9:30 p.m. Dukes: 1501 Grand, 816-527-0122. Beer pong tournaments, 9 p.m. Flying Saucer: 101 E. 13th St., 816-221-1900. Trivia Bowl, 7:30 & 10 p.m., free. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. It’s Karaoke Time! MiniBar: 3810 Broadway, 816-326-8281. Robert Moore’s Name That Tune, 7 p.m. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Country and Western Tuesdays. Tower Tavern: 401 E. 31st St., 816-931-9300. Trivia, 8 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Tango night.

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The All-Star Rock Bar: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Scott Ford Songwriter Showcase, 7 p.m.

W E D N E S D AY 6 ROCK/POP/INDIE Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Ben Kres. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Bob Walkenhorst, 7 p.m.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Lonnie Ray Blues Band. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. The Brian Ruskin Quartet. Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Dan Bliss.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. The Steepwater Band, Brother Bagman, 8 p.m.

DJ Avalon Ultra Lounge: 5505 N.E. Antioch, 816-452-CLUB. Flashback Wednesdays. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Sonic Spectrum with DJ Robert Moore, 9 p.m. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-492-3900. DJ Pure. The Union of Westport: 421 Westport Rd. Random Play Wednesday.

ACOUSTIC Fuel: 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park, 913-451-0444. Colby & Mole.

JAZZ B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. New Vintage Big Band. Chaz on the Plaza: 325 Ward Pkwy., 816-802-2152. Max Groove Trio, 6 p.m.

WORLD The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. SeedLove, Third Party.

COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Devin Henderson’s Mind Madness.

BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. Brodioke. The Blue Line: 529 Walnut, 816-472-7825. Karaoke. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Drink specials. Danny’s Bar and Grill: 13350 College Blvd., Lenexa, 913-3459717. Trivia and karaoke with DJ Smooth, 8 p.m. Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. Pizza and poker. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. Hump Day Party. 403 Club: 403 N. Fifth St., 913-499-8392. Pinball tournament, cash prize for winner, 8:30 p.m., $5 entry fee. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Charity Bingo with Valerie Versace, 8 p.m. J. Murphy’s Irish Pub and Grille: 22730 Midland Dr., Shawnee, 913-825-3880. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Johnny’s Tavern: 10384 S. Ridgeview, Olathe, 913-378-0744. Trivia. Johnny’s Tavern: 8719 W. 95th St., Overland Park, 913-9489500. Trivioke. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. The Dirty Game Show, 10 p.m. The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Qudos Cigar & Cognac Bar: 1116 Grand, 816-474-2270. Red Cup Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-236-6211. Karaoke. Strikerz Entertainment Center: 18900 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence, 816-313-5166. Ladies’ Night, ladies bowl for free in the Spare Room Party Room, live DJ, 9 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Trivia, 8 p.m. Wilde’s Chateau 24: 2412 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-856-1514. Pride Night, 8 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Acoustic Open Mic with host Tyler Gregory. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-8949676. Jam Night, 9 p.m. Tonahill’s 3 of a Kind: 11703 E. 23rd St., Independence, 816833-5021. Blues, country and classic rock hosted by Rick Eidson and friends.

M E TA L / P U N K Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Johnny Switchblade.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL

VA R I E T Y

B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Shinetop Jr. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Billy Ebeling. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Gospel Lounge with Carl Butler, 7:30 p.m.

Californos: 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. The Girlie Show. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Poetic Underground. VooDoo Lounge: Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. Raw Artistic Showcases.

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S AVA G E L O V E

HELPING HAND

Kansas City’s

HOTTEST GAY CHATLINE 816-841-1588 913-279-9212 30 minute FREE TRIAL 18+

Dear Dan: I had to write after hearing Marty Klein’s talk about the fallacy of “sex addiction” on your Savage Lovecast. For most of my adult life (I’m 27), I’ve suffered from complete sexual dysfunction with partners. I was ashamed and thought I was too sexually screwed up to be with a partner because I’m kinky. (I have a fetish for tights and pantyhose.) I was also afraid to seek help for fear of being labeled “abnormal” or “addicted to porn.” I got a little better, thanks to an encouraging, kinky, porn-loving, sex-positive female partner, but I’m still having problems. What are some good resources for finding a sex-positive therapist like Dr. Klein? I’ve been referred by several people to someone listed as a “certified sex addiction therapist,” and I worry this is exactly the kind of unhelpful, sex-negative therapist that Dr. Klein mentioned.

NON-Addict Despite Dumb Intolerant Counselors’ Theories Dear NON-ADDICT: “If the public knew how little sexuality training most therapists receive, they’d be stunned,” said Marty Klein, a sex therapist, marriage counselor, psychotherapist and author. Klein advises that you start by contacting the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (aasect.org). “NONADDICT should look for a member in his area,” Klein says. “But the group is small, and not all of them will share his sexual values. Here’s what he should ask a potential therapist: What are your sexual values? How do you define healthy sexuality? Are you comfortable talking about kinky sex? Do you think monogamous, heterosexual, genitally oriented sex is ultimately better than other consensual arrangements?” The kind of sex-positive therapist you seek will answer straightforward questions like that over the phone before you make an appointment. “And regardless of the answers, if you sense a professional is queasy talking about sex, move on to another candidate. “He should call his local Planned Parenthood or LGBT center, a gynecologist or urologist, or the person who teaches sexuality at his local university, or a local divorce lawyer” and ask for a referral, Klein says. Even clergy refer sexuality cases to local therapists. To find out more about Klein and his work, see martyklein.com. Dear Dan: I recently caught my boyfriend watching porn. We talked about it before, and he said he didn’t watch it while he was in a relationship. But when I caught him with his dick in his hand, I lost it. I have never felt so hurt or betrayed. This is my first serious relationship. I can’t get over how sick and sad I feel. It feels like he was cheating on me. It was interactive porn — it was like he was cybersexing with one of his ex-girlfriends. What should I do?

Sad and Deceived Dear SAD: Was your boyfriend having cyber-

sex with an ex-girlfriend or did it only feel like

38

THE PITCH

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

pitch.com

BY

D A N S AVA G E

he was? I would make a distinction. While all porn constitutes a betrayal of the terms of your relationship, interacting with a stranger and, very likely, a professional online shouldn’t feel quite so threatening. Your boyfriend shouldn’t have lied to you, but if you can’t bring yourself to forgive him — if you can’t try to understand why he might lie about this (shame, fear, a desire to spare your feelings) — then this relationship is doomed. End it and find a new boyfriend. But when your next boyfriend tells you that he doesn’t watch porn, you’re going to look at him and say, “Suuuuuure you don’t.” Ask your new boyfriend to be discreet and limit his porn consumption so that you’re unlikely to uncover any evidence of it. If your new boyfriend does that for you, then you should be considerate enough to turn a blind eye on those rare occasions when you do stumble over evidence that your new boyfriend watches porn — just like your old boyfriend did and all your future boyfriends will.

Dear Dan: I ended a two-and-a-half-year relationship six months ago. By “ended,” I mean my then-boyfriend packed up everything I owned and put it on the lawn. He’d hacked into my email and read some very graphic letters about an affair I’d had in Mexico just weeks prior. My CPOS justifications: (1) We were on a break, and I was living with friends to escape his anger problems and emotional abuse. I was still seeing him periodically and slept with him a couple of times. (2) He wouldn’t go down on me. (3) When I’ve tried to break up with him, he threatened suicide. (4) He had many kinks and a history of cheating, and he threatened that if I didn’t participate in gangbangs, he would find someone who would. I didn’t feel safe sexually or emotionally, and I found an evening of relief in Mexico while we were on a break. I felt energized, attractive and like I was dealing with a healthy adult. That was the catalyst that got me out of the relationship on his terms, and I wouldn’t do anything differently if I had a choice. Am I a CPOS?

My EX Isn’t Completely Obtuse Dear MEXICO: For readers who are just joining

us: A CPOS is a “cheating piece of shit,” who cheats on a partner without grounds. You are not a CPOS. You had grounds: Your crazy, infantile, manipulative, selfish ex essentially took himself hostage by threatening suicide (which is an abuser’s tactic, folks). He wasn't allowing you to go peacefully. Getting caught cheating may not have been a conscious exit strategy, but it was perfectly executed.

READERS: My new book, American Savage, comes out in May. Preorder it now! Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

Have a question for Dan Savage? E-mail him at mail@savagelove.net

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THE PITCH

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

pitch.com

CON SES C S A CD ERT T P VIE REL s D ICKE O T M VD S PA s AP

NOW HIRING FOR

CONCERTS CONVENTIONS SPORTING EVENTS EVENT STAFF, USHERS, TICKET TAKERS

APPLY IN PERSON 4050 Pennsylvania Ste. 111 KCMO 64111 OR ONLINE www. crowdsystems.com EOE

FOOT PAIN Individuals who experience pain in the foot or toe that is related to trapped or pinched nerves, may be eligible to participate in a clinical research study currently conducted by Dr. Nalamachu at International Clinical Research Institute. There is no cost to participate. Reimbursement for associated expenses may be available.

Classifieds Research Subjects Do you have ASTHMA? Physicians at the Asthma Clinical Research Center at Truman Medical Center Hospital Hill are currently recruiting for studies for Astma Patients.

• You must be at least 18 years old. • On asthma medications and your asthma is controlled. • All study related care is provided at no cost for those who take part. • Financial compensation for participation is available. This Asthma Center is one of 18 prestigious Centers of Excellence funded by the American Lung Association. Please call 816-404-5503 for screening and to learn more about this research study.

For additional information reguarding this foot pain study, please call: International Clinical Research Institute at 913-317-5300

ADHD STUDY Is your child 13-17 diagnosed with ADHD? You may be eligible to participate in a research study of an investigational medication. Symptoms of ADHD include difficulty remembering information, difficulty concentrating, trouble organizing or completing tasks and procrastination. Qualified participants may receive study-related psychological evaluation(s) and may also receive compensation for time and travel. For more information, please call:

Dynamic Clinical Research at 816-942-2626 Dynamic Clinical Research 305 NW Englewood Court Suite 300 Gladstone, MO 64118 pitch.com

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

THE PITCH

41

Need a drink? AD PROOF:

(JS)

Proof Due Back By: 1/18 at 5pm Ad #: P26630-f-13966-5x5 Deadline To Pub: 1/21 at 2pm First Run: 1/23/13 Publication: Pitch Weekly Section: iPad Drop Specs: 4.776x5.291 LJ approved

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42

THE PITCH

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

pitch.com

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pitch.com

JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2013

THE PITCH

43

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THE LAW OFFICE OF DENISE KIRBY 816-221-3691


The Pitch: January 31, 2013