The Pitch: December 19, 2013
The Pitch, December 19-26, 2013. Kansas City's alternative weekly.
December 19â€“2 5, 2 013 | f r ee | Vol . 3 3 No. 2 5 | pi t ch.com 2 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com Theater Presents LASER LIGHT SHOW & 5 DJ’s! EVERYONE IS VIP IN 2013 Largest indoor party in KC! Lowest all inclusive price in KC! Entrance one hour early (7pm) open bar all night, premium beer all night. Expanded laser & light show ( Increased snack options ) Everyone gets access to all 5 rooms MAIN THEATER • CABARET • NOWHERE THE CONSPIRACY ROOM • VALENTINE ROOM Hotel Packages available at The Q hotel 816.753.8665 or uptowntheater.com for more info Theater Presents LASER LIGHT SHOW & 5 DJ’s! pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 3 deCember 19–25, 2013 | vol. 33 no. 25 LEGENDS • 1867 VILLAGE WEST • NEXT TO DAVE & BUSTERS JAMES JOHANN BLUE COLLAR TOUR DEC. 18-22 - COMEDY CENTRAL’S PREMIUM BLEND - THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON - CMT’S COMEDY STAGE STANFORDS ON BROADWAY 3700 BROADWAY NEXT TO UPTOWN THEATER STEVE HIRST DEC. 20-21 E d i t o r i a l Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor Natalie Gallagher Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, David Hudnall, Steve Vockrodt Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Events Editor Berry Anderson Proofreader Brent Shepherd Contributing Writers Tracy Abeln, Liz Cook, Adrianne DeWeese, April Fleming, Leslie Kinsman, Larry Kopitnik, Angela Lutz, Dan Lybarger, Diane Kockler Martin, Dan Savage FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM ‘S BBC MAD TV GIVE THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER GIFT CERTIFICATE - BUY ONE GET ONE Sponsored by HOLLYWOOD CASINO Buy tickets online at stanfordscomedyclub.com 913.400.7500 • TUE-SUN 7:45PM & 9:45PM Cover to Cover One very busy reader’s favorite books of 2013 b y d i a n e ko c k l e r m a r t i n 9 a r t Art Director Ashford Stamper Contributing Photographers Angela C. Bond, Barrett Emke, Chris Mullins, Lauren Phillips, Sabrina Staires, Brooke Vandever r en ewed i n t er est P r o d u c t i o n Production Manager Christina Riddle Multimedia Designer Vu Radley a d v E r t i s i n g Sales Manager Erin Carey Senior Classified Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Multimedia Specialists Collin Click, Sharon Donat, Becky Losey Director of Marketing & Operations Jason Dockery Digital Marketing Manager Keli Sweetland Digital Marketing Specialist Lisa Kelly Sales and Marketing Assistant Anna Brescia You can bank on Lawrence’s new Merchants Pub & Plate. by charles ferruzz a 19 c i r c u l a t i o n Circulation Director Mike Ryan a joyf ul n o i s e B u s i n E s s Accounts Receivable Jodi Waldsmith Publisher Joel Hornbostel s o u t h c o m m Chief Executive Officer Chris Ferrell Chief Financial Officer Patrick Min Chief Marketing Officer Susan Torregrossa Chief Technology Officer Matt Locke Business Manager Eric Norwood Director of Digital Sales & Marketing David Walker Controller Todd Patton Creative Director Heather Pierce Director of Content/Online Development Patrick Rains n a t i o n a l a d v E r t i s i n g VMG Advertising 888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com Senior Vice President of Sales Susan Belair Senior Vice President of Sales Operations Joe Larkin d i s t r i B u t i o n The Pitch distributes 45,000 copies a week and is available free throughout Greater Kansas City, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $5 each, payable at The Pitch’s office in advance. The Pitch may be distributed only by The Pitch’s authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of The Pitch, take more than one copy of each week’s issue. Mail subscriptions: $22.50 for six months or $45 per year, payable in advance. Application to mail at second-class postage rates is pending at Kansas City, MO 64108. c o P y r i g h t The contents of The Pitch are Copyright 2013 by KC Communications, LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the publisher. The Pitch address: 1701 Main, Kansas City, MO 64108 For information or to leave a story tip, call: 816-561-6061 Editorial fax: 816-756-0502 For classifieds, call: 816-218-6759 For retail advertising, call: 816-218-6702 on th e Cove r The Noise FM returns to Kansas City with holiday cheer. b y n ata l i e g a l l ag h e r 22 5 7 9 13 15 16 19 20 22 28 30 36 Questionnaire news feature agenda art film café fat city music new year’s eve listings d a i ly l i s t i n g s savage love m ean wh i l e at p i tC h . C o m Design by AshforD stAmper 4 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com pitch.com TIVOLI CINEMAS reached its Kickstarter GOAL, will continue to be a movie theater. CHERYL WOMACK, Mission Hills businesswoman, indicted in $7 million tax-fraud case. Missouri state Sen. WILL KRAUS, pulls his weird new bill to politically muffle teachers. m o n t h x x–x x , 2 0 0 x THE PITCH 2 Questionnaire Courtney Lewis Hometown: Thomaston, Connecticut drink too much of it, but meh. My dating triumph: I ran Brew to Brew solo a few years ago, and I started talking with another (very cute) solo runner. He ended up tracking me down through my e-mail, and we dated for a few months. I thought it was pretty impressive that I got a date looking all sweaty and deathlike in the middle of a 40-plus-mile run. What I do (in 140 characters): I have an awe- some job: I get to promote the fantastic Kansas City Public Library. It’s the coolest thing to get paid to tell everyone about all of the amazing programs going on here. e nlin at m pitch.co What’s your addiction? Weekend matinees at the movies by myself. I hate to share popcorn. What’s your game? Baseball. I’m a die-hard Red Sox fan, and 2013 was unexpectedly surreal. I still get chills knowing that we won. But the Royals are my second favorite, and I just got my first season-ticket package last year. Two months to pitchers and catchers! My brush with fame: When I was a producer, S a b r i n a S ta i r e S O Q&As I met a lot of famous people. But my favorite was during college in 1997, when I got to hang out with Widespread Panic on their tour bus, and we watched the NBA playoffs together. And I thought this even before I started working here. What’s your drink? Whiskey and Coke “Kansas City screwed up when …” The Kansas City Public Schools lost accreditation. Where’s dinner? McCoy’s. The skillet enchila- “Kansas City needs …” To please figure out how das are the best comfort food, and I can always get them to put either UConn basketball or Red Sox baseball on the TV. What’s on your KC postcard? The bookshelf parking garage here at the Central Library, the view from Liberty Memorial and Kauffman Stadium. Finish this sentence: “Kansas City got it right when …” It relocated the Central Library to our gorgeous building at 10th Street and Baltimore. Kansas City Public Library My sidekick: A filled cup of coffee. I probably Current neighborhood: Valentine More Media relations for the to not have all the construction projects happen at the same time. I love downtown, but just being able to get around has turned into a survival skill. “In five years, I’ll be …” I wish I knew! I just switched careers from television news to media relations, so I’m still trying to figure out next week! “I always laugh at …” The Mitchell episode of MST3K. “Never corner an angry Mitchell.” ? “I’ve been known to binge-watch …” Battlestar Galactica (the new one) and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. “I can’t stop listening to …” The Moth podcast. I always wonder what story I would tell if I had the chance to get up there in front of an audience. “I just read …” Revenge Wears Prada, the sequel to The Devil Wears Prada. It was such a letdown, I didn’t even finish it. The best advice I ever got: Wherever you go, there you are (from my dad). Worst advice: “You’re fundamentally a New Englander. Why don’t you just stay here?” (from a Boston-based friend). My 140-character soapbox: I truly believe you never know who you really are until you get outside of your comfort zone and live far from home. What was the last thing you had to apologize for? The typos in my text. I have meaty thumbs, and smartphone keyboards are my enemy. Who’s sorry now? An ex-boyfriend who said, “If you walk away from this, you’ll never be happy again.” That was more than 12 years ago. I’ve never been happier. My recent triumph: Leaving a 15-year TV-newsproducing career to start over in a job I have coveted for a while. It feels pretty exhilarating to make a new start. Download free eBooks and eAudiobooks anytime, anywhere from JoCoLibrary.org Your story starts here pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 5 L I V E D J • N E W S O U N D S Y S T E M • PA R T Y L I G H T I N G 9 : 30 pm-1 am SAT & SUN Dogs World of FUN Ready to lose those extra lbs and get into shape? 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Send your info to: firstname.lastname@example.org the pitch 816-786-7854 • email@example.com 4233 Roanoke Rd, Ste 101 • Kansas City, MO 64111 www.synergy-fitstudio.com AVA IL A BL E 7917 SANTA FE DRIVE 6 INTERVAL CROSS TRAINING CLASSES FOR UNDER $15 A SESSION OR JUST $99 A MONTH Contact Chris Spears, our personal trainer for more information. GIFT CERTIFICATES O V E R L A N D PA R K , K S 6 6 2 0 4 December 21st - Waldo Jazz Collective December 28th - The Even Days New Year’s Eve - Supercell January 4th - Scott Duncan p December 21 Waldo Jazz Collective December 28 The Even Days New Year’s Eve Supercell January 4 Scott Duncan 5399 Martway Mission, KS • 913.432.7000 news Stiffed A man died after taking a sexual stimulant. By Now his family is suing Erotic City. Ju s t in K e nd a l l D avid McElwee died after taking a product labeled “male sexual stimulant,” which he had bought from Erotic City. Now McElwee’s family is suing the adult bookstore and the pills’ manufacturers, the Nevadabased NovaCare LLC and Impulsaria LLC. A lawsuit filed in Jackson County Circuit Court against Erotic City’s parent company, Enlightened Reading Inc., and the abovenamed companies alleges that 37-year-old McElwee bought a male-enhancement product called Stiff Nights from the Truman Road adult bookstore on September 22, 2012. The lawsuit says McElwee took “all or a substantial” amount of the Stiff Nights pills on September 24 and the next day suffered a loss of blood pressure and then cardiac arrest, resulting in his death. The lawsuit is being brought by McElwee’s ex-wife, Trisha Hale, on behalf of their two minor children. Hale’s attorneys, Michael Yonke and co-counsel Hans van Zanten, did not return messages left by The Pitch for this story. John Michael Waldeck, Erotic City’s defense attorney, also did not return a call seeking comment. The lawsuit alleges that Stiff Nights contains sildenafil citrate and sulfoaildenafil, which it calls a “controlled ingredient” not labeled on the product as “unreasonably dangerous.” The lawsuit contends that Stiff Nights yields significant side effects: headaches, blushing, upset stomach, hypotension and heart failure. It claims that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has banned the use of products containing sildenafil citrate and sulfoaildenafil in over-the-counter sales. Stiff Nights’ website is now offline, but among cached pages, a list of ingredients is still visible. Sildenafil citrate and sulfoaildenafil are not among its labeled “active ingredients.” The site boasts that the product is “100% Natural. 100% Safe” and “the ultimate sexual pleasure for men.” “Stiff Nights is comprised of a special blend of Herbs, Mushrooms and Greens,” the site claims. “This particular blend has taken us 7 years to perfect. It is this special blend that makes Stiff Nights so potent while being 100% natural.” Stiff Nights CEO Jamie Greene weighs in under a link on the site titled “Regain the Thunder”: “Virtually all men reported that it increased their physical stamina and delayed their ejaculation. Honestly, we don’t know how this happens. Yet customer after customer is reporting the same experience to us. We’re just happy to make so many men feel good about themselves.” On November 5, 2009, the FDA issued a consumer warning that Stiff Nights contained “an ingredient that can dangerously lower blood pressure and is illegal.” The FDA warned: “Sexual enhancement products that claim to work as well as prescription products are likely to contain a contaminant. Use of such products exposes consumers to unpredictable risk and the potential for injury or even death.” The FDA cited “a consumer complaint” regarding Stiff Nights that led the government agency to determine that the product contained sulfoaildenafil. “This is a chemical similar to sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra,” the FDA release says. “Sulfoaildenafil may interact with prescription drugs known as nitrates, including nitroglycerin, and cause dangerously low blood pressure.” The release quoted Deborah M. Autor, then the FDA director of the Center for Drug Evaluation and Research Office of Compliance: “Because this product is labeled as an ‘all natural dietary supplement,’ consumers may assume it is harmless and poses no health risk. In fact, this product is illegally marketed and can cause serious complications.” According to the lawsuit, the FDA inspected NovaCare’s Salt Lake City manufacturing facility in March 2010 and found that Stiff Nights contained sulfoaildenafil, which is an analogue to sildenafil. Later that year, the FDA determined that sulfoaildenafil is a synthetic, active pharmaceutical ingredient and not a dietary ingredient defined by the Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act. The FDA considered Stiff Nights a “prescription drug” and a “new drug,” meaning it couldn’t be sold without an FDA-approved application. On August 10, 2010, NovaCare announced a nationwide voluntary recall of 21 products that contained sulfoaildenafil, including Stiff Nights; the ingredient was undeclared on those products’ labels. The recall included products dated prior to June 17, 2010. The FDA noted that the recall was “a precautionary measure” and that “no illnesses or adverse effects have been reported to the company to date in connection with these products.” The recall advised consumers to stop using the products immediately and to consult a physician if they had experienced health issues following use. The FAQ section of Stiff Nights’ website warned anyone with “any medical condition” against taking the pills. “This is including but not limited to anyone on prescription medications, or anyone with a history of cancer, heart disease, stroke, migraine headaches, renal failure, liver failure, severe allergies, or other condition. You should consult your physician before starting this nutritional supplement. Stiff Nights is not recommended for anyone under 18 years of age.” Under a question about whether to take more than the recommended dosage, Stiff Nights’ FAQ page answers: “ABSOLUTETELY [sic] NOT!!! Stiff Nights is EXTREMELY POTENT. Users have reported headaches and some other mild side effects if they take more than one capsule per 24 hours.” Addressing whether Stiff Nights is FDAapproved: “Stiff Nights is an all-natural nutritional supplement, therefore it is not approved pitch.com From left: Erotic City, package of the product or disapproved by the FDA. If you [sic] a health condition, consult your health care professional before taking this product.” As for side effects, the site notes: “Stiff Nights has not been clinically tested and a formal study has not been conducted. On our informal studies, a small percentage of the users reported headaches as the number one side effect. Reported less often was some minor flushing of the face, and heartburn. If you do get a headache, we have found that EATING is the best cure. You may also want to drink something with caffeine in it such as coffee or cola.” Finally, a question about whether Stiff Nights contained any pharmaceuticals such as Viagra, Cialis or Levitra, the response reads: “Absolutely Not!! Nor do the active ingredients in Stiff Nights contain any of the base material contained in any of the above products. Our lab does random tests to make sure this NEVER happens.” McElwee’s obituary says he was born in Independence on November 27, 1974. He graduated from William Chrisman High School in 1993 and from Truman University with a bachelor’s degree in 1998 and a master’s degree in creative writing and rhetoric in 2000. He worked at Park University as an educational technology support administrator for Park Distance Learning for seven and a half years. McElwee’s family is seeking unspecified damages in excess of $25,000 on each count. A jury trial is scheduled for September 15, 2014. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 7 TUESDAY APRIL 29 - 2014 - 7PM UPTOWN THEATER KANSAS CITY MO 800-745-3000 www.ticketmaster.com MAKES A GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT www.redgreen.com 8 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com Cover to I read a lot of books. I set out to finish 150 before December 31 this year — a personal record — and I’m close. But I can never keep Cover up with the impossible number of books published each year. I’m always seeking a balance between all that new stuff and an ever-growing stack of old books awaiting my attention. And then every December, I see “Best Books of the Year” roundups popping up, and I find that I’ve read only a fraction of what’s listed. One very busy reader’s favorite books of 2013 Is it a coincidence that many of the year’s talked-about titles I’ve missed are extremely By Diane Kockler Martin long? Maybe. But did Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch really need to be almost 800 pages? Did Doris Kearns Goodwin require 900 pages to tell us about Teddy Roosevelt’s relationship with William Howard Taft? Seriously? I’ll get to those books eventually, but I’ve spent this year reading others — titles that don’t take a month to read or feel like homework assignments. Among those books, I found a handful this year that I felt sure I could thrust at a friend and say, “Read this! You’ll love it!” Here they are. FICTION Best Novel Set in a War-Torn Country That Is Hard to Find on a Map A Constellation of Vital Phenomena By Anthony Marra Holy hell, is this book good. It’s set in Chechnya after the fall of the Soviet empire, when Chechen citizens were always in danger of being abducted or killed by federal forces. Don’t worry if you don’t remember much about the conflict — Marra focuses on the lives of everyday villagers who are just trying to survive. The story opens with a precocious little girl who hides in the woods as soldiers arrest her father. A kindhearted neighbor helps her escape to a nearby town and asks a doctor to look after her. Through flashbacks, the details of the characters and their families unfold, and the stories ebb and flow together in overlapping melodies. It also features the year’s most gorgeous prose. Best Groundhog Day–like Novel Best Comeback of a Character Played by Renée Zellweger This is an engrossing story about a woman who keeps living her life over and over again, changing her behavior each time. When baby Ursula is first delivered, on an English country estate in 1910, the umbilical cord is wrapped around her throat, threatening a stillbirth. Ursula discovers that if she lives long enough to breathe, there are many other ways by which death will try to claim her. In each reincarnation, she has dark premonitions and tries to alter the outcome of a calamity. The plotting is masterful, and the story expands and folds back in on itself like an accordion. One of my favorite plot lines involves Ursula’s experience in Germany in the 1930s. What will she accomplish? What will she learn in this life? Questions we end up asking ourselves as we read. Bridget Jones is back! Our favorite singleton from the 1990s is now a 50-something mother with two children. Early in the book, it’s revealed that Bridget’s husband, the wonderful Mr. Mark Darcy, was killed in an accident, and now Bridget is emerging from her grief to start dating again. I think so many women liked the Bridget Jones books (and the movies) because the character allowed us to laugh at our own preoccupation with dieting, dating and self-improvement projects. Here we see Bridget become obsessed with Twitter, texting and dating a younger man — new challenges that Fielding presents with much humor. There’s also a sweet side to the story: Bridget genuinely loved her husband and was devastated by his death. Her forced cheerfulness as we rejoin her is touching continued on page 10 Life After Life By Kate Atkinson Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy By Helen Fielding pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 9 Cover to Cover continued from page 9 because she’s trying to be a good mum, though she’d rather wallow in bed and eat ice cream. This novel made me laugh out loud, and I often smiled while I read. I declare it to be v.v. good. along? How did ABC’s Good Morning America come to break NBC’s longtime winning streak? The best part of the book reports on “Operation Bambi,” which reportedly was the code name for the plan to fire Curry. There also are chapters on the rise of GMA, the genesis of MSNBC’s Morning Joe and the struggles at CBS. Stelter’s writing is a little bumpy, but media wonks will revel in the juicy details. Kansas City. Chuck Haddix (host of KCUR 89.3’s Fish Fry and director of the Marr Sound Archives at the University of Missouri–Kansas City) tells lively stores about the saxophonist, who was known for his brilliant playing but also for his drug and alcohol abuse. Parker often disappeared before gigs to search out heroin. Having gone into withdrawal while traveling cross-country, he wandered off a train in the middle of the desert to look for a score. Among the fascinations in Haddix’s book are the details he includes about Kansas City’s history, including where Parker went to school and how he started playing music — and, of course, where the city’s hopping nightclubs were in 1951. Haddix lovingly describes Parker’s compositions and performances, making this a fine gift for a jazz fan. Best Jane Austen Fan Fiction Longbourn By Jo Baker Best Reporting on a Hurricane It has become a cliché to love Jane Austen, and many writers try to imitate her style. Longbourn is one of the few pieces of fan fiction that’s worthwhile. It retells the story of Pride and Prejudice from the point of view of the servants, and it makes the Bennet home come alive. I felt as if I actually lived in the same house as Elizabeth Bennet and her sisters. The story is told mostly by Sarah, a housemaid who has worked there since she was orphaned. We get glimpses of Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, but the “downstairs” plot stays focused on the lives of the servants. Plus, you learn a few secrets about the family that not even Miss Austen knew. NON FICTION Five Days at Memorial: Life and Death in a Storm-Ravaged Hospital By Sheri Fink This is a devastating account of what happened at a hospital in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. After the storm, Memorial Medical Center was flooded and lost power, stranding a large staff and nearly 200 patients, some of whom needed ventilators to breathe. Rescue operations were slow due to communication breakdowns, a lack of emergency preparedness, and massive failures of both the hospital’s owner and the government. The staff said it was like a war zone. On the third day after the hurricane, some patients with slim chances of survival were administered drugs to help them die. Some called it euthanasia; others called it a necessary decision during an extreme disaster. This book is gripping and emotional, even requiring breaks to come up for air. Best Gossip About TV News Top of the Morning: Inside the Cutthroat World of Morning TV By Brian Stelter I worked in a newsroom for more than 10 years, so I read this for its behind-the-scenes stories of what happened at NBC’s Today show. Why was Ann Curry replaced as cohost? Did she and Matt Lauer really not get 10 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 M E MOIR Best Book About Pop Culture The Revolution Was Televised: The Cops, Crooks, Slingers, and Slayers Who Changed TV Drama Forever By Alan Sepinwall This book covers the beloved dramas that Sepinwall says ushered in a new golden age of TV: The Wire, The Sopranos, Deadwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Mad Men, Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Friday Night Lights, Oz, The Shield, 24 and Breaking Bad. Sepinwall gives the history of each show, interviewing the creators and network executives to describe how each found its way to air, along with details about the production process and what made the shows great. A key point he makes is that dramas have recently flourished on television partly because the motion-picture industry has all but abandoned them. As Sopranos creator David Chase puts it: “Movies went from something really interesting to what we have now.” This book compelled me to rewatch shows I hadn’t looked at in years, and drew me to some I hadn’t yet seen. Best Book Written by a Woman Who Should Be My BFF Best Biography of a Kansas City Jazz Legend Bird: The Life and Music of Charlie Parker By Chuck Haddix This is a marvelous biography about Charlie “Bird” Parker, who was born and raised in pitch.com tion gathers her favorite of those pieces, with topics including her dog, her grandmother, a Catholic education, opera, censorship, solitude, bookstores (Patchett owns one), floods, Christmas, applying to be a police officer, and driving a Winnebago around the American West. My favorite is “The Getaway Car,” in which she lays out how she started writing and gives advice for anyone who wants to do the same. And in the memorable title essay, she discusses why her first marriage ended in divorce and how she came to be happily married to her second husband. Reading this book is like having a good chat with your wisest, most clever friend. This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage By Ann Patchett Before becoming a best-selling novelist (Bel Canto, State of Wonder), Ann Patchett made a living writing magazine essays. This collec- Best Memoir by a Goonie Coreyography: A Memoir By Corey Feldman Growing up with 1980s movies, I loved The Goonies, Stand By Me and even campy, campy The Lost Boys. What I didn’t know back then was that Corey Feldman, who appears in those three pictures, was enduring a hellish personal life. This memoir describes how his parents abused and neglected him, how their drug habits ate up his paychecks, and how he was molested by older men. Feldman charges that pedophilia is a serious problem in the entertainment business, and he mourns his longtime friend and fellow actor Corey Haim as one of its victims. To escape, Feldman started using drugs and misbehaving. Now, he hopes that his story might spare another child the same fate. Fans wanting behind-thescenes stories will be rewarded, but Feldman also writes disturbing scenes of abuse. a new life of being alone. She goes through a desperate period of wanting to kill herself. She drinks too much alcohol and barely leaves her room. She obsesses over the memories of her husband and children, wanting never to forget anything. This isn’t the kind of memoir that delivers the reader a triumph at the end, when the writer has survived and moved on. Your relief as you finish reading is simply that Deraniyagala survived at all. Find mov s at ie time p HHHH ‘‘ A POIGNANT, INTIMATE PORTRAIT OF A LARGER-THAN-LIFE PERSONALITY.’’ Amy Pitt, TIME OUT NEW YORK EMOTIONAL. MOVING. ‘‘ ing responsible. Other fun pieces chronicle her trying to train her “simple” dog, an early obsession with cake, a hilarious and terrifying attack by a goose, and some letters she writes to her younger self. She even handles a bout with depression in an amusing and self-deprecating way. Several of her chapters made me laugh so loudly and uncontrollably that I started crying. I say that’s a good thing. Best Book About Autism The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy With Autism By Naoki Higashida This is a deeply illuminating insight into the mind of an autistic child. Naoki Higashida was diagnosed with autism when he was 5. One of his teachers designed an alphabet grid to help Naoki communicate his thoughts, which were then printed into a book in Japan. Writer David Mitchell, who has an autistic son, found it and pushed to publish an English translation. In the introduction, Mitchell calls the book “a revelatory godsend” and adds: “Reading it felt as if, for the first time, our own son was talking to us about what was happening inside his head, through Naoki’s words.” It’s organized into short sections, with Higashida responding to questions about common behaviors of autistic people. Autism has affected so many families around the world; this book will help people understand it better. Best Memoir Comparing the Taliban with Vampires Malala, 16, advocates for girls to have the same right to go to school as boys. In her native Pakistan, she lost that ability when the Taliban took over the area in which she lived. She writes: “I was 10 when the Taliban came to our valley. … It seemed to us that the Taliban arrived in the night just like vampires. They appeared in groups, armed with knives and Kalashnikovs.” The Taliban bombed schools and decreed that girls would be denied an education. Malala got media attention when she spoke out against the Taliban. She was threatened, and in October 2012, a man with a gun climbed aboard her school bus and shot her in the head. Amazingly, she survived and recovered. Her graciousness is such that she does not wish revenge on her attacker and instead prays for peace. This is a heartbreaking and inspiring story. Book That Made Me Laugh Until I Cried Wave By Sonali Deraniyagala Sonali Deraniyagala and her family were vacationing in Sri Lanka in 2004 when the tsunami hit, and her world fell apart. She managed to survive by clinging to a tree branch, but the rest of her family — husband, children, parents — perished. Wave is a grief memoir, with the author trying to adjust to Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened By Allie Brosh Allie Brosh writes and illustrates the popular blog Hyperbole and a Half, and this collection culls her favorite Web comics, plus a few new ones. I’m glad to have her post “This Is Why I’ll Never Be an Adult” within permanent reach. It’s a well-told tale of how occasional bursts of motivation to Get Stuff Done are quickly overtaken by the exhaustion of be- -Jenn Pelly, PITCHFORK INSPIRING!’’ ‘‘ - -David Edelstein, NEW YORK MAGAZINE A FILM ABOUT I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban By Malala Yousafzai, with Christina Lamb H UMOR Best Memoir About Surviving a Tsunami THIS IS FEARLESS INDEPENDENCE APPLIED ANEW.’’ EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, DEC 20! TIVOLI CINEMAS MANOR SQUARE 4050 PENNSYLVANIA AVE (913) 383-7756 KANSAS CITY KC Pitch INVITES YOU AND A GUEST Wednesday, 12/18 TO A FILM SCHOOL SCREENING OF 1col(2.305)x4 Best Guy Humor Power Moves: Livin’ the American Dream, USA Style By Karl Welzein This is a collection of two years of tweets from @Dadboner, written in an easy-to-read diary format. Karl Welzein, actually a character created by comedian Mike Burns, considers himself an average American guy: He hates his job (so sick of this), he’s separated from his wife (Ann is so boring, you guys), his roommate is gross, and all he wants to do is drink beer and eat some bold flavors. Welzein is looking forward to the weekend and is living the bad-boy life. To wit: He sets off fireworks in his apartment as a July 4 prank on his roommate. There also is the occasional dieting tip. He might ditch his cheeseburger’s bun to keep the meal in the “health zone.” At work, he likes to take naps in the toilet stall and scam chili from a food-donation bin. Keep livin’ the dream, Karl. Diane Kockler Martin is a librarian at Metropolitan Community College. Her book reviews can be found at Goodreads and the blog Shelf Inflicted. E-mail email@example.com pitch.com LOG ON TO PITCH.COM BEGINNING THURSDAY, DECEMBER 19TH FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A COMPLIMENTARY PASS FOR TWO “LIKE” US AT /ALAMOKANSASCITY FOLLOW US ON AT/ALAMOKC Please note: Winners will be selected at random from all entries. No purchase necessary. Limit one admit-two pass per winner. Employees of participating sponsors are ineligible. THIS FILM IS RATED R FOR BRIEF NUDITY. AT ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE DECEMBER 22ND DRAFTHOUSE.COM/KANSAS_CITY/MAINSTREET december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 11 DOWNLOAD THE FAN ZONE APP TO PREDICT YOUR TEAMâ€™S PLAYS AND WIN AMAZING PRIZES EACH WEEK FAN ZONE WEEKLY CHALLENGE. No Purchase Necessary. Open to US residents 21+. Ends 1/21/14. See Official Rules at www.budlight.com/FanZone for complete details including how to play, entry deadlines and prizes. Message and data rates may apply. Void where prohibited. 12 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com Brand: BL KC Chiefs Ad Item #: PBL201310465 Job/Order #: 255046 Closing Date: 9/25/13 QC: CS Trim: 9.72" x 9.8125" Bleed: none Publication: KC Pitch weekly Live: 9.22" x 9.3125" PA AD AM AE CD WEEK OF DECEMBER 19-25 NUTCRACKER STEVE WILSON Ka nsas Cit y Ba llet presents The Nutcracker at the Kauff man Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway. See kcballet.org for performance times and tickets. Daily listings on page 30 pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 ď‚ś the pitch 13 1517 WESTPORT RD • KCMO 816-753-4447 hEaDhOuSEhaiRPaRlOuR.COM Sat Dec 21 - 8pm 3611 Broadway • KCMO 6 - 1:30 Mon-Sat Christmas Concert City in Motion with The Walltalkers $5 us on 14 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com BLOWOUT with an appetizer buffet & midnight champagne toast! & Special Guests: Christmas Extravaganza Nicki Scriggs Mckenna Patchen Variety Show!!! $10 Poets vs. Comics with an open mic and feature performances from some of KC’s hottest talents! Fri Dec 20 • Fusion • Burlesque • Tap • West African • Gypsy • Bellydance • & More!! NEW YEAR’S EVE $10 acebook comedians and performance poets go head to head for a rowdy night of thoughtful hilarity. $5 Cover Doors @7pm • Show starts at 9pm includes entertainment, buffet & champagne DJ & Dancing Starts at 11pm after the show we usher in the new year with aid of a glass of champagne, a DJ and DANCING! See Our Full Calendar at uptownartsbar.com art By yet rich with tiny detail. T r a c y a be l n Colin ConCes G et Close Jun Kaneko’s art is big F or a moment recently, you could see Jun Kaneko’s art in three places: a stage, a gallery and a park. All were within walking distance of one another — a convenience, given that the moment was fleeting: Kaneko’s contribution to the recently produced version of The Magic Flute is already out of sight. But a solo exhibition has been extended into the new year, and a public piece gracing Bartle Hall’s south lawn (he calls it “Water Plaza”) is there indefinitely and visible 24/7. Kaneko makes his distinctive large ceramic heads without eyes, but if a looming sculpture could be said to gaze (and if it could see through walls), the one at Bartle Hall would have watched its animated counterparts dance inside the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts. The set design and costumes for mid-November’s staging of Mozart’s opera were not for Kaneko’s first theatrical project, but the libretto’s whimsical nature gave him license to indulge one of his most charming ideas: representations of animals shaped and colored like his ceramics. The bold costumes made the characters appear to be chess pieces, and the living stripes that rained down along the cycloramas or emerged ethereally and disappeared again, in time with the music, were clearly created with close attention to every passing note. A few blocks away, Sherry Leedy, a longtime representative for Kaneko, has given over her entire Crossroads space to a selec- Look again. Kaneko’s ceramics have remarktion of the artist’s pieces. Among the works here are the artist’s bulbous dangos (dump- able surface detail that makes getting up close to each of them worthwhile. At a glance, you lings), as well as glazed or raku-fired slabs admire the rounded forms of the dangos, and that hang on the walls like paintings, with blocks of color or dripped-down striped pat- you can peek behind the rectangular slabs and see elegant, angled edges that lift their frontal terns. There’s also the occasional chunk on planes away from the wall. Quickly enough, a pedestal. Each is given sufficient space for you note the dialogue under way among all isolated contemplation. these forms’ glazed patterns. Polka dots here In all, there are some 45 works at Sherry Leedy Contemporary Art. That’s about one echo others there, and rows of driplike but controlled multicolored stripes — like the for each of the artist’s years of experience ones that moved across the stage — abound perfecting his craft, but most of the works are new, from 2012 or 2013, with a few from on Kaneko’s ceramic vessels, raku slabs and the 1990s or earlier 2000s and a couple dat- acrylic canvases. Single points of color, proportional squares ing back to 1988. You get the impression that Kaneko has been doing the same thing for or circles, melt down over the surfaces, leaving decades, and he has indeed developed a dis- streaks that add motion to stolid clay. This is the case with the raku wall tinctive style of grids and slab “13-01-17” (2013), around fades and is well-known for Jun Kaneko: Solo whose white ground is a borhis cavernous kilns that can Through January 18 at Sherry der of pleasing wabi-sabi fire single works as large as Leedy Contemporary Art cracks. Its vertical composi10 feet high or more. Physics 2004 Baltimore tion is anchored with a nardictate that the ceramics in 816-221-2626 row, centered strip of clear, sherryleedy.com this gallery are no taller than powerful red. Kaneko’s lanabout 5 feet and no heavier guage here feels like a poem, than a few hundred pounds. But even though the selections aren’t the a visual statement punctuated by glyphs monumental size that Kaneko is capable of drawn from our collective memory. As you producing, their shapes are massive, relative stare longer, you begin to view all of his work this way: full of messages to intuit from the to the scale of their setting — a fact that makes colors and the angles and the lines. them magnetic just the same. Quiet power emanates from “5’ Dango At a cursory scan of the gallery walls and 09-04-07” (2009), in which a marvelous white floors, you might be underwhelmed by what wave curls upward and ends in a delicate appears to be repetitive or unimaginative. pitch.com From left: raku wall slab “13-01-17,” “Dango 10-01-04” and raku wall slab “13-01-20” fiddlehead shape. Subtle, shallow streaks of light cobalt bleed into the white. Burned-out undertones from the dark glaze below amplify the unspoken transmission. It is at this noseto-work range that you understand Kaneko’s mastery of the chemical reactions inherent to ceramic work. Glaze is crackled into organic patterns, spidering all over the surface. Stipples of texture have formed from tiny burst bubbles. Even a long look at the glazed, untitled raku cataloged as “12-01-35” doesn’t reveal every secret at first. The gold-rimmed black hole at the center (actually dug into the clay) has such a draw that it’s easy to miss the piece’s blue grid. The pattern is a whispered secret. Writing about his design process for The Magic Flute, Kaneko says, “In my studio work I am always aware that nothing exists by itself. Pattern and composition are born from the relationships among different elements of the artwork and the dialogue between myself, the materials, and my mark making.” Having so many of Kaneko’s masterpieces in one place provides the rare opportunity to see these relationships at a glance and in depth. Each one stands alone, ready to speak to you. Yet they all stand in concert as well, harmonizing in a chorus of accessible song. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 15 film Bleecker and Bleaker T he first time I saw Inside Llewyn Davis, I told people who asked me about it that the movie wasn’t very good. Following two masterworks of adaptation (No Country for Old Men and True Grit) and a satisfyingly prickly original (A Serious Man, wedged between Cormac McCarthy and Charles Portis), writer-directors Joel and Ethan Coen had taken things too easy with their latest. Davis is a chilly snapshot of Greenwich Village’s early folk scene, long on buffoons and interpersonal scorn and mournful public-domain music and centered on the most one-dimensionally selfish protagonist the Coens have devised since Barton (“You’re a Fuck, Fink”) Fink. Then I watched it again, and I kind of loved it. Mind you, Llewyn Davis the character (Oscar Isaac, terrific) remains borderline unforgivable, and the Coens aren’t breaking new ground here. Their version of the basementtoiling autoharp players and earnest harmonizers of the early Kennedy administration is simply a period-cloaked descent into familiar noirish personalities and sudden biblical punishments, set to a carefully curated soundtrack (oh, brother, there’s T Bone Burnett) that embraces its NPR-bait schematic. But the Coens don’t build their films as surprise machines; they make moral farces designed to be reread as one might ponder the Book of Job. And with Inside Llewyn Davis, they’ve distilled their formula into a Dylansharp folk song, one whose stray notes don’t reveal themselves as choruses until you sit with the thing a second time. Not that every pattern on display requires deciphering. We know, for instance, two 16 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 things about Llewyn from the start: that he’s talented, and that nobody cares. In fact, rare is the moment when one of his songs doesn’t preface a beating or some other, not much less violent, remonstration. No one but Llewyn Davis is ever ready to hear a Llewyn Davis performance, and even he isn’t much listening to the world around him. He has no ear for the complaints of others, and he has no sense that his own distress is a plaint unworthy of the form he has chosen for himself. So, yeah, “Coen hero takes sucker punch, is asshole” is not a shocking headline. But around the edges of the brothers’ customary irony is something else: a relatively straight elegy for the time just before folk music’s preelectric mix of protest and optimism fell (or, anyway, gave way to a far less alkaline tonic), an American moment in twilight as another American moment is about to ascend. (Cinematographer Bruno Delbonnel, who shot the Coens’ segment of the 2006 anthology movie Paris, je t’aime, delivers a Greenwich Village of wintry yellow light and long shadows, a beautiful string of album covers waiting to happen.) When Justin Timberlake and Adam Driver show up as uncynical troubadours, there’s a bigger laugh in seeing Davis squirm at their success than in the squareness he rejects. For once, the Coens seem fond of something. The brief scene that Isaac, Timberlake and Driver share — a recording session for so-badit’s-awesome novelty song — is as elemental as movie joys get. It’s also vital in offsetting the jaggedness ahead, as Llewyn fails and fails again, leaving a trail of sullied artistic partnerships, inexcusable tantrums and squandered kindnesses. (Here are this sad song’s choruses, pitch.com Inside Llewyn Davis: MacDougal By Street as Coen bros. purgatory. S c o t t W il S on these two visits with his sister and two pleadings at the union hall and two bleak stops at his agent’s office.) At the far point of Llewyn’s journey — a trip that includes time with a devilish junkie (John Goodman, never hammier) — is a sit-down with a career-making club owner and talent manager. Even here, there’s an echo built in, with Llewyn first selling himself across a desk and then, following a quick edit, giving it a try knee-to-knee with the man as he performs for him. The impresario is played by F. Murray Abraham, so long removed from his breakthrough as Salieri in Amadeus and thus so right as the man about to deliver the bad news. In Amadeus, a self-aware mediocrity is doomed to dwell in the shadow of a shrugging, vulgar genius. Here, it’s the other way around, or something close to it. And Llewyn sees it. He also sees, as his own music nears its end, Bob Dylan. We, too, glimpse him (someone playing him, under a recording), at a lipsync-forgiving distance, a re-creation at once authentic to the movie and a distraction from its delicate fictions. Even if you don’t buy that fateful glance (and I didn’t even on second viewing), though, there are haunting questions underneath it. What would it have looked like, a world in which it was Davis, or someone like him (the character is modeled on Dave Van Ronk, by all accounts a kind and heroic presence rather than an abortion-prompting shitheel), who became a star and not Bob Dylan? What does it look like to see someone else perfect what we’ve been struggling simply to master? We see Dylan, and the Coens puncture this tiny universe, and we know at last what the movie has told us from Left: Isaac and Timberlake Above: Adams and Bale its opening scenes. For every great, there must be a loser — a dozen losers, a score of them. At least some have songs written about them. n AmericAn Hustle D avid O. Russell says American Hustle — his swift, overstuffed valentine to 1980s Martin Scorsese by way of 1970s Vidal Sassoon — completes a rapid-fire trilogy about American dreamers. That’s one way to look at it. From The Fighter (2010) through Silver Linings Playbook (2012) to this latest picture, you can indeed draw a thematic line or two through the writer-director’s recent work. He has zeroed in on stubborn characters experiencing crises of identity and emotional turbulence, and he has generally rewarded them (and, not incidentally, the actors playing them). None of the three films approaches perfection, suffering as each does from sometimes severe perforations in believability. Taken together, though, what they show is the surprising evolution of just one figure: Russell himself. His early movies mined broad, predictable jokes from a narrow range of discomforts, but he has suddenly become a universalist. His characters are conceived with a frustratingly studious eye for idiosyncrasy, yet they contain every strand of DNA an audience might recognize. And American Hustle, flaws and all, is ludicrously entertaining. To dispense with the unavoidable: Marty, Marty, Marty. Zooms, Steadicam, nutso close- ups, crosscut voice-overs, a jukebox that plays fewer songs than you think it does — Russell knows Scorsese the way Brian De Palma knows Hitchcock. But even Russell’s most obvious tricks manage to pay tribute rather than simply ape, and a more individual bravura is also at work. It both presents and aces its own test: As written — and Russell has written the shit out of this funny, menacing, sexy, generous screenplay — most of American Hustle looks like it couldn’t have been filmed any other way than the director did it. What Russell has filmed is a far-fromfactual (history-scented, really) version of one con man’s part in the FBI’s Abscam sting operation, which started in the late 1970s. That would be, in this telling, Irving Rosenfeld, played with extra pounds and double relish by Christian Bale. There’s a gonzo agent (Bradley Cooper, willing you to give up not liking him, winning), and there’s the woman between them (Amy Adams, excellent). And there’s also Jennifer Lawrence as Rosenfeld’s kittenish wife, stealing everything that isn’t nailed down and most of what is. Everybody tries on accents and wigs and disguises and high-top bouffants (for the men and the women). It’s a caper movie, a nod to a very bygone genre that has, in more recent times, outsmarted itself (the Oceans sequels, Tony Gilroy’s failed Clooney-Roberts team-up, Duplicity), and most of its characters tilt on an axis between two equally dumb choices. Corruption or honesty, this woman or that woman, positions of safety or risk. There’s no movie — there’s never a movie — without the assurance of poor decision making. That the decisions being made in American Hustle are not just poor but cataclysmic is the source of the movie’s deep comedy, and also a rich vein of fascination. Doing the right thing for most of these people is impossible — and then some of them do it anyway. — S.W. AnchormAn 2 I t wouldn’t have been possible for Adam McKay and Will Ferrell’s sequel to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, their 2004 hit, to match the out-of-left-field inventiveness of that original. Before it entered the pop lexicon, Anchorman, one of Ferrell and McKay’s earliest odes to the cultural detritus of expired American machismo, seemed to will into existence an entire style of humor. This time around, the concept, the jokes and the characters are all old. But they’re still funny. Even the occasionally tired forays into cultural critique are reasonably entertaining. Lovable Neanderthal newscaster Ron Burgundy (Ferrell) finds himself jobless and separated from his wife, Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate), who has been promoted to nightly news anchor. Soon, Ron and his crew of 1970s fashion-victim cavemen (Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, David Koechner) are hired by GNN, a newfangled 24-hour news channel. The jokes pretty much write them- Someone will have a very Silent Night! Dead Air The Mystery Train Tickets now available at The Central Ticket Office: 816-235-6222 www.kcmysterytrain.com Kansas City FilmFest & Reel Spirit Hanna’s next wave selves: Ron and company treat anything and everything as news. Sure enough, they’re all things that today we take for granted as news. At one point, Ron asks that his screen be overloaded with garish graphics, and his screen looks not unlike one of today’s cable news channels, plastered with tickers, sports scores, stock quotes, etc. There’s a charm to the obviousness of the jokes here; Anchorman 2 knows that familiarity is its stock in trade. Case in point: The bizarre Gangs of New York interlude in the earlier film, replete with cameos, in which assorted news teams fought with elaborate weapons. Here, it’s elevated to an endless parade of some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. As the megastars pile on, you realize that Anchorman has one-upped itself in the most obvious way while simultaneously ribbing itself for doing so. — Bilge Ebiri January 10, 2014 Friday Family Night at Plaza Library 6:30 PM Watch Animaaon Shorts DIY Animaaon Staaons Free to the Public kcﬁlmfest.org The Punk Singer A s of this week, Nirvana is on its way to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame — and its Washington peer Bikini Kill should be there, too. Not that Kathleen Hanna and her bandmates in the landmark Riot Grrrl act have much use for that particular institution, but their contribution to the culture is incalculable. Director Sini Anderson’s documentary about Hanna is adoring but insightful, part neat primer on third-wave feminism’s dovetailing with Generation X’s music and zine communities, part reminder of Bikini Kill’s fearsome presence. And it’s just plain good to hear Hanna again, following a long medical leave of absence that seems to be over now. — S.W. E-mail email@example.com pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 17 9 th A N N U A L Karaoke NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY ALL YOU CAN EAT BURGERS and ALL YOU CAN DRINK $ 29 Westport (+tax & gratuity) (+tax & gratuity) FIRST 50 TO RESERVE PAY $39 Bar & Grill CALL FOR DETAILS 816.931.1986 39th Street Market, formerly known as World of Spirits, invites you to join us at our new home! 1850 W 39th St Kansas City, MO 64111 816.931.7579 Mon-Sat: 7am-1:30am Sun: 9am-midnight Same Friendly, Knowledgeable Staff Follow Us On Beer, Wine & Spirits Grab & Go Groceries Market Café & Deli 7438 WORNALL ROAD KCMO // 816-216-7845 Monday 1/2 price drinks! Tuesday Mon: Wednesday Tues: Thursday Wed: Friday Thur: Sunday Sat: 1/2 price drinks! 2 buck Tuesdays! 2 buck Tuesdays! 2-4-1 drinks for Ladies Night! 2-4-1 drinks Ladies Night! BOMBfor Night! All You Can Drink BOMB POWERNight! HOUR 9pm-11pm Fri: Saturday All You Can Drink POWER HOUR College 9pm-11pmGame (onlyDay!!! 10 bones)! NFL Ticket Sundays! College Game Day!!! Live Music Sunday Night! Sun: Don’t forget NFL Ticket Sundays! HAPPY Live HOURMusic Mon-Fri 2pm-7pm! Sunday Night! 7438 WORNALL ROAD KCMO // 816-216-7845 18 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com CAfé Renewed InteRest You can bank on Lawrence’s new Merchants Pub & Plate. By Ch a r l e s F e r ru z z a Merchants Pub & Plate • 746 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-843-4111 • Hours: 11 a�m�–10 p�m� Monday–Thursday, 11 a�m�–11 p�m� Friday–Saturday, noon–10 p�m� Sunday • Price: $$–$$$ I have a long list of things I have tasted and would prefer not to try again. Plenty of these items are misfires from otherwise reliable kitchens. So it is with the most recent addition to my no-fly list, the “white BBQ sauce” served with the pulled-pork spring rolls at Lawrence’s excellent new Merchants Pub & Plate. The spring rolls, crispy fried cylinders stuffed with chopped cabbage and roasted pork, were good, and I even liked the syrupy root-beer reduction drizzled on top of them. But I ree Mor coiled at the little cup of white liquid waiting to bathe slices of the roll. It t a e in Onl .com looked suspiciously like pitch Milk of Magnesia. “People are kind of funny about that,” my server confided. “But it’s really delicious. We make it from cream, Worcestershire sauce, mayonnaise and a little cayenne.” Well, now, that’s not really barbecue sauce, is it? And I wouldn’t call the concoction I eventually tried delicious. “White BBQ sauce” is just a novel phrase for an uninspired condiment. There’s enough inspiration on the rest of the menu at this two-month-old restaurant to recommend Merchants, which has taken over the historic bank building on Massachusetts Street once home to Teller’s. It’s co-owned by chef T.K. Peterson, who, with chef de cuisine Chris Rieke, brings plenty of imagination to some solid ideas. Yes, you must set aside a few of the restaurant’s pretensions and a certain reverential air. “We are committed to providing a dining experience without compromise,” boasts the menu, which announces its allergy-free, meatfree, dairy-free and gluten-free dishes with a code of letters that would have made a fine personals ad in this paper back in the day. (GF+ seeks DF for good V.) And the place studiously observes the vogue of listing every local and regional ingredient (Alma Creamery cheese, Anthony’s Beehive honey, etc.). Provenance is the watchword here. But the gambit works. Some of Peterson’s dishes are masterful compositions of flavor and texture. (I’m recalling the freshly made agnolotti pasta pillows stuffed with ricotta and spiced pumpkin, in a maple-brandy butter, and the braised rabbit cacciatore on asiago grits.) And at least one of the desserts would look at home on Salvador Dali’s plate. Put more simply, Merchants Pub & Plate is a serious dining venue with an unrefined sense of humor. The 83-year-old space still has its dramatic windows and tiled floors, AngelA C. Bond Café bowl of supple pappardelle pasta, blanketed under a thick ragù of bison Bolognese. It was an outstanding dish, as was a smoked and it still has the brassy confidence of a fine- pork chop, expertly grilled and perfectly flavorful. I’d also order the cornmeal-coated dining aspirant shaking down a college kid fried rainbow trout again. You get the idea: trying to impress a date. But it’s hard to resist Merchants is at its best when its kitchen cona restaurant that serves sloppy Joes made centrates on dishes as unfussy as a bolt of with exquisitely rich short ribs, let alone one gingham. that’s ready to make you a Peterson likes to accespimento-cheese sandwich. Merchants Pub sorize, though, so the burg(If you ever had any attach& Plate ers get a swipe of cabernet ment to the pinky stuff that Fresh bread��������������������������� $3 onion jam, and a crispy wallKraft packed into those little Crispy pork spring rolls �����$10 eye sandwich is topped with glass jelly jars, you’re in for Short-rib sloppy Joe �����������$11 a citrus-pepper slaw. The a very satisfying moment.) Bison Bolognese �����������������$16 latter is maddeningly deliMind you, no frat boy is Kale and white-bean griddle cakes ���������������������$16 cious, but I found that the going to order the somberly Pumpkin Patch ��������������������� $7 tart ginger-apple compote good-for-you pa n-f r ied served with the toastedgriddle cakes of white beans barley risotto could do just and kale. That’s a joke too far: pucks so taste-free that all the tomatillo so much for that dish. And not every patron chow-chow in Lawrence couldn’t lend them is going to know what cranberry-and-rhubarb agrodolce (served with the pork chop) is supany zest. And the house-made focaccia, billed posed to be. (If it should taste like something as “Fresh Bread” on the starter list, was disappointingly dry when I tried it, even with a other than a sweet-and-sour fruit reduction, I’ve been had.) generous dollop of honey butter (an indignity The staff, at least, is ready to brief you on best left to children’s menus). the more complicated dishes. The service My heart softened at the appearance of a Regional dishes and ingredients are the gold standard at Merchants Pub & Plate� pitch.com is briskly efficient overall, and if you ask a question about a dish, the reply is offered with precise logic. You could be listening to a mechanic explain the workings of a Mercedes engine. The wine list isn’t designed for the Mercedes crowd. It’s reasonably priced and well-chosen. And the dessert options are further downmarket, with a certain prairie-homesteader sensibility: gingerbread cake, a chocolate beet torte, the church-supper-style array on the “Pumpkin Patch” plate (if someone in your congregation liked squiggles of mousse). Merchants Pub & Plate is doing enough right in its early days that the locals seem to have noticed. On each of my visits, the dining room was full, and the crowd was a cross-section of ages. That wasn’t the case when the late, unlamented Teller’s endured its death throes. Peterson and Wilson may have finally found a formula for building long-term customer loyalty in a city with constant resident turnover: first-rate food and service. Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 19 MISSOURI’S SMALLEST BREWERY fat c i t y Fryers Club VOTED BEST LOCAL As Stroud’s turns 80, it’s all just gravy now for Mike Donegan. By Ch a r l e s F e r ru z z a NANO BREWER (ALMOST) ANY BURGER & BEER FOR $9 MON - FRI 11AM - 2PM 4010 PENNSYLVANIA KCMO 816.216.7682 GREENROOMKC NEW MENU ITEMS COMING IN JANUARY 2014! B r o o k e Va n d e V e r GREENROOMKC.COM | S HALF PRICE BURGERS ON SAT. FROM OPEN TO CLOSE KC ONBEST KEPT SECRET TUESDAYS @ BULLDOG 1715 MAIN | 816.421.4799 | KCBULLDOG.COM 20 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 everal old birds turned 80 years old this year. Joan Collins, of course. Kim Novak. Also: Stroud’s Restaurant & Bar. Breasts and legs have figured prominently in all of their careers. Helen Stroud, a lawyer and a beautiful woman, by most accounts, opened a roadhouse on 85th Street with her husband, Guy, back in 1933. At the time, the spot they’d chosen was well outside the city limits. It wasn’t more than a shack, really, and it sold liquor and a limited menu of barbecue beef, fried chicken and 10-cent sandwiches (cheese, salami, liver, sardines). The tavern grew successful enough that it might have thrived as a barbecue joint for decades (like Rosedale Barbecue, which opened in 1934). But meat rationing during World War II forced Helen and Guy to shift their focus from smoked meat to fried fowl. (Their place was still listed as Stroud’s Barbecue in local phone books until the 1960s.) Stroud’s was the least glamorous of Kansas City’s fried-chicken restaurants in the postwar years, but it outlasted snazzier contemporaries such as the Wishbone and the Green Parrot. Even after a move to a newer building — in Fairway, in 2008 — it remains the metro’s most iconic fried-chicken restaurant. Mike Donegan, the former Kelly’s Westport Inn bartender who purchased Stroud’s in 1977, says he wishes his business were still in the old space, which was razed to widen 85th Street. “I still want that building back,” he says. “We brought as many things to this location as we could, including the tables, the chairs, the light fixtures. But people still come in and want the crooked windows and the old wood floors.” Two months ago, Donegan, now in his 60s, pitch.com sold an equity share in the Fairway Stroud’s (the second Stroud’s restaurant, in the Northland, wasn’t part of the deal) to local restaurant operation KC Hopps. But that hasn’t stopped Donegan, who first bought the restaurant with another Kelly’s bartender (Jim Hogan, whom he bought out two decades ago), from coming to work every day. After 36 years, he still loves the business. “I stopped frying chicken myself 10 years ago, but I still have the burn marks on my arms,” he says. “Now we have five men doing the pan-frying on Saturdays and Sundays. It’s hot, dangerous, hard work. When those pans are full of grease, they can weigh over 20 pounds. And you have to carefully drain the grease because we use the cracklings left from frying to make our gravy.” Donegan says his real secret is the gravy. “I’ve seen a lot of fried-chicken restaurants come and go. The chicken wasn’t the problem. The problem was the gravy.” The rich, creamy gravy is still a draw at Stroud’s, along with the sticky cinnamon rolls that Donegan introduced in 1980, not long after he dropped pie slices from the menu. “No one was ordering dessert,” Donegan says. (The dinners are, you know, big.) “But I liked the idea of offering cinnamon rolls. I knew a lady in Independence who had her own little restaurant that she was closing down. So I hired her to come in and make cinnamon rolls for me.” Donegan attracts considerable loyalty from his customers as well as from his staff. He complains that hiring servers isn’t as easy as it used to be (“The restaurant business is all about paperwork today,” he says), but Stroud’s Donegan: Still loving Stroud’s. may have more veteran staffers than any other restaurant in town. “Sherry Fritzshall has been working for me for 24 years, Elaine Nichols for 25 years,” he says. “So has Kathy Kelly. Ewen McClean has been cooking for 24 years. Chris McSorley is my kitchen manager and has been with me for 30 years.” There’s a framed photograph near the bar of a young, beardless man with dark hair. Donegan? “No, that was my twin brother, Dennis,” he says. “He ran the Northland Stroud’s for years. He died 10 years ago.” The Donegan boys — the sons of Paul Donegan, a tool and die maker, and Louise, a schoolteacher — never dined at Stroud���s in their youth. “We never ate out anywhere,” Donegan says. “My mother did the cooking. She was an adequate cook.” Mike Donegan majored in marketing at Central Missouri State College (“I guess I thought I’d go into sales,” he says) before he started bartending at Kelly’s. One of the other bartenders, Mike Leahy, quit Kelly’s to tend bar at Stroud’s and was making a lot more money. “I decided I had to see this place,” Donegan says. “And then I got the money together and bought it.” Donegan says he’ll never retire. “They’ll carry me out of here,” he says. “You know, it doesn’t feel like work when you love what you do. And I still love it.” E-mail email@example.com HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! ORDER ANY LARGE SPECIALTY PIZZA, FOR 1/2 PRICE PRESENT THIS COUPON COUPON EXPIRES 12.31.13 OFFER AVAIL FOR DELIVERY ONLY•816.931.FOOD FREE DELIVERY UNTIL 4AM • DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE ON LARGE GROUP ORDERS SEE FULL MENU AT DOWNTOWNPIZZACOMPANY.COM Breakfast•Lunch•Catering•Holiday Gifts Breakfast: Mon-Fri 7-11am, Sat 7-12pm, Sun 8-1:30pm Lunch: Mon-Sat 11-3pm, Sun 11-1:30pm 4 0 9 W. G r e g o r y , K C M O (816) 444-1933 • www.theclassiccookie.com OPEN CHRISTMAS EVE & CHRISTMAS DAY NEW OWNERSHIP Any Meal. Any Time. Under new management & ready to serve you. New Value Meals starting at $3.99 IN WESTPORT • 3959 Broadway 816.931.3333 • HuddleHouse.com “More Smokey, More Juicy…More Better!” Fastest Lunch in NKC! 900 Swift N. Kansas City, MO 816.416.8100 | CATERING: 816.416.8109 Mon-Fri: 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. KCSmokeShackBBQ.com PARTY SPACE FOR YOUR PARTY! RIGHT HERE! WE ALSO CATER FOR HOLIDAY PARTIES! pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 21 music A JOYFUL NOISE The Noise FM returns to Kansas By City with holiday cheer. N ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r B rothers Alex and Austin Ward have walked a long and winding road as founding members of indie-rock band the Noise FM. First from Fort Scott, Kansas, then Lawrence, and now calling Chicago home, guitarist and lead singer Alex and drummer Austin have dealt with several lineup changes and false starts since they formed the band in 2005. When they moved to the Windy City three years ago, they did so at the urging of their manager and their label, both of which were located there already. “We really love Lawrence, but we wanted to try a slightly bigger market, just to see what would happen,” 28-year-old Alex Ward tells me by phone from his desk in Chicago. “But as soon as we moved up here, the manwe’ve kind of achieved a level where we’re able ager that we were working with moved to L.A. to become an actor, and the label kind to put on our own shows and draw a decent crowd, but there are still of dissolved. The first year, plenty of things we miss.” we were kind of stranded.” Noise for Toys: He goes on: “Since we’ve To their credit, the Wards A Benefit for Kansas left, it seems like the Kansas didn’t turn around and City Toys for Tots City music scene has gotten hightail it back home. They with the Noise FM, a lot closer. There’s a stroncycled through a couple of We Are Voices, Shy Boys, ger sense of community bass players before finding Rooms Without Windows that we don’t always see in Chicago’s Barry Kidd, and Saturday, December 21, Chicago. There are so many they took on management at the Riot Room bands here, and they’re all duties for themselves. competing — there’s so few “When we moved, it took us about a year to get established. It was like times that you find bands that just really want starting a band from scratch,” Alex says. “Now to help each other out.” SPIN CYCLE Our monthly local-record-store Top Five I s it wrong, wanting to be at home with your record collection?” asks Rob Fleming in Nick Hornby’s classic novel High Fidelity. “There’s a whole world in here, a nicer, dirtier, more violent, more peaceful, more colorful, sleazier, more dangerous, more loving world than the world I live in; there is history, and geography, and poetry, and countless other things I should have studied at school, including music.” Fleming, literature’s most noteworthy failed romantic and record-store owner, may have been talking about his vinyl collection as an escape into further misanthropy. But he’s right about one key thing: Records — and the dedicated record-store clerks who sell them to us — can lead us places we wouldn’t otherwise take ourselves. To honor these music sherpas and celebrate their knowledge, The Pitch here debuts 22 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 Ugly sweaters, peppermint schnapps and old St. Nick are all expected at Noise for Toys. That local affinity might be what convinced the Noise FM to join Kansas City label the Record Machine a few months ago. In January, the band releases Attraction, its first full-length since the big move. Throughout its period of uncertainty and homesickness, the Noise FM has had one constant: The band puts on a Christmas show to benefit Toys for Tots. Noise for Toys, as the Wards call it, originated in Lawrence back in 2008 and has become a tradition. “Originally, we had gotten used to doing a monthly list, taken from a couple of our favorite record stores: Kansas City’s Mills Record Co. and Lawrence’s Love Garden Sounds. For December, the subject seems obvious: In the midst of holiday feuding, drunkenness and general annoyance, what music will take us to a different place? and we ordered enough for everyone in midtown to own at least one.” 5. “Fuck Christmas” off The Record, by Fear: “Need we say more?” Mills REcoRd co. Top Five Albums That May Shut Your Family Up for Five Holy Minutes 314 Westport Road, millsrecordcompany.com Top Five Albums You Can Play Instead of Listening to Your Family — Compiled by Judy Mills 1. Naked City, by John Zorn: “Even this music makes more sense than your relatives.” 2. Christmas Time Is Here, by Vince Guaraldi: “Because someone, somewhere, is having a perfect made-for-TV holiday, and you should share that joy.” 3. Castration, by Eunuch: “Trust me, your dad is wishing he had one right now.” 4. Any of the recent reissues by Boards of Canada: “Extra-large glass of whiskey in hand, these will soothe your jangled nerves, pitch.com regular shows all the time,” Alex says. “We really wanted to do something that we could call our own, and we also really wanted to give back to the community. The first thing that came to our minds was the holidays and collecting toys for kids. We reached out to a representative at Toys for Tots, and they were really supportive of the idea, so we just kind of went from there. It’s grown so much over the years, and we’re really thrilled to be able to keep doing it.” On Saturday, December 21, the Noise FM is coming home for the holidays, in time to put on Noise for Toys at the Riot Room. This is the first time in the benefit’s six-year history that it’s being held in Kansas City — which Alex says will have no shortage of holiday spirit. “In years past, we’ve always gone over-thetop with decorations,” he says. “Obviously, there will be lots of ugly sweaters and an uglysweater contest. All of the bands on the bill are preparing Christmas songs. Santa Claus will be there — one of our friends, who we will probably need to get drunk on peppermint schnapps.” He laughs and adds, “The whole point of the show is that it’s for a good cause. Who wouldn’t want to support and raise money for Toys for Tots? And ultimately, we just want to have a good time.” E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org lovE GaRdEn sounds 822 Massachusetts, Lawrence, lovegardensounds.com — Compiled by Kelly Corcoran 1. Tusk, by Fleetwood Mac: “It’s like a Christmas parade of soft rock.” 2. In Case of an Emergency You Can Shit on a Puerto Rican Whore, by Harry Pussy: “This album is also known as Self-Titled, obviously.” 3. Fly, by Yoko Ono: “Yeah, she probably broke the Beatles up. But this record had no bearing on the Beatles’ breaking up. And it probably won’t break your family up, either. Unless that’s what you want. We aren’t making promises.” 4. Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star, Just say you want me, for the holidays. by Sonic Youth: “See also: ‘Exponential yelling of crap, trash and our only hit.’” 5. Bend Sinister, by the Fall: “Mark E. Smith is so rude, he’ll make you look like the best kid ever. Extra eggnog for you. Maybe.” — N.G. E-mail email@example.com pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 23 Music Riffing A conversation with ambitious rapper Riff Raff I f you haven’t already heard of Riff Raff, Google him. You’ll f ind interviews, videos and articles highlighting an eccentric, Houston-raised rapper ready to achieve fame and earn his fortune. On the fame front, he has the Internet version locked up. Riff Raff’s personal YouTube channel is a holy grail for absurdists. In e r Mo his home-recorded video for “Versace Python,” a shirtless Riff Raff does t a ine a line of cocaine with a Onl .com pitch rolled-up $100 bill before launching into a freestyle rap. Most of his tracks consist of outrageous, alliterated, bordering-on-gibberish phrases sung over blown-out drum-machine beats. To wit: Eating lobsters, sharks, screen’s on, watchin’ Jaws/Rap game Julio Franco, Chuck Norris, Texas Ranger. It’s the sort of thing that inspires awe online, though little is known about Riff Raff other than his birth name (Horst Christian Simco). This cornrowed, gold-grill-wearing rapper with mismatched tattoos appears to have no media presence before his 2009 appearance on MTV’s reality show From G’s to Gents. (He lasted two episodes and is said to have had the MTV logo tattooed on his neck before he was officially cast.) This past summer, Riff Raff joined the Mad Decent label, with the help of friend and producer Diplo. For the past few months, he has been on his Birth of an Icon tour, promoting the release next month of his Neon Icon, a two-disc experiment featuring some pretty hefty names: Drake, Snoop Dogg and A$AP Rocky. Cracking the code on Riff Raff — if there is a code at all — is not an easy task. During my phone interview with him, I wasn’t able to do much questioning about the authenticity of his persona; his responses tended toward disengaged, mumbled barks or drawn-out, random anecdotes. At one point, he put me I would say “Versace Python,” with Wiz on hold — “to tweet,” he said — and his manKhalifa. All the songs are really going to be agement politely made small talk with me big songs. But I know that’s one that I’ve until he came back on the line. been waiting to drop for over a year. Was there a notable recording experience The Pitch: Neon Icon comes out on January with one of these artists? 28, and you’ve collaborated Mac Miller and I just made on it with Drake, Snoop Riff Raff a beat at his house in one day, Dogg, A$AP Rocky, Future, Thursday, December 19, really in like an hour. That Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa … at the Riot Room was one of those songs where Riff Raff: Yeah, and 2 it wasn’t even set up. We just Chainz, Big Sean, YG, Paul kind of laid out the song right then. Wall, Childish Gambino, Action Bronson, Seems like you’ve been pretty busy netMac Miller, Bun B and Mike Posner. There’s working and making friends in the hip-hop a lot of people on the album. industry this year. Which track are you most excited about? the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com L e s L ie K in sm a n one of those basketball shooting games — you know, when you shoot the basketball and you get a teddy bear and stuff. And he had, like, 35 points, and I had 37 points or something. Of course, I won. I got to pick a toy and I got the last Super Nintendo. He was so mad about it. That was the first day we met. In the holiday spirit, what’s on your wish list this year? I’m probably just going to buy [my dog] Jody Husky a candy sled or a helicopter or something. I’m getting tired of buying myself stuff all the time, so I’ll probably just buy him a whole bunch of shit. I buy myself stuff all year round, so I might as well buy other people something. … I’ll probably buy myself something, too, like a necklace. Maybe you can get him [Jody Husky] a doggy-sized Lamborghini or something. Yeah, or a go-kart. Who made the best records of 2013 and why? Oh, I don’t know — Drake, 2 Chainz, Kanye. There were a lot this year. It’s crazy. But I haven’t dropped my album yet. I’ve just been focusing on my shit. That’s why I got to keep making hit songs, keep the music sounding good. When my album drops in 2014, that’s all I want to be talking about. M us i c 24 By E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org J a z z B e at StEvE CardEnaS Riff Raff gets weird. Well, I mean, I think if I just keep making hit songs and putting out albums, I’ll be good. I just take it day by day, making sure I’ve tied up loose ends and all the little Versace strings. Who would you call your right-hand man at this point? Diplo. He and I have put it together. How did you guys hook up? We met at Coachella in, like, 1998. It was pretty crazy. He wasn’t even a DJ, and I wasn’t a rapper. We were kind of just hanging out, eating snow cones. At Coachella, they used to have carnival games, too. We were playing Hearing live jazz in Kansas City from the mid- to the late 1980s often meant catching Ida McBeth’s group. In the first couple of numbers before McBeth took the stage, the ensemble’s young guitarist, Steve Cardenas, stood out with solos as likely to evoke the lyricism of Pat Metheny as the punch of McBeth’s R&B. Cardenas has since moved to New York, where he has performed with such luminaries as Charlie Haden, Ben Allison and Paul Motian. The influence of Cardenas’ KC roots is evident in his three albums and his own contemporary compositions. This weekend, Cardenas returns to town for two shows. He’s backed by KC jazz masters Matt Otto on sax, Bob Bowman on bass and Ryan Lee on drums. — Larry Kopitnik Steve Cardenas, 8–10 p.m. Friday, December 20, at Take Five Coffee + Bar (5336 West 151st Street), $5 cover; 8:30 p.m.–12:30 a.m. Saturday, December 21, at the Blue Room (1600 East 18th Street), $10 cover. @ T he QUAFF Bar & Grill 1010 BROADWAY • 816.471.1918 /therealquaff • www.thequaffkc.com Food&k Party Favors DrEiCn S Champagne Toast SP IAL at Midnight Party Starts at 9pm pitch.com DJ E. december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 25 WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY KNUCKLEHEADS F re e S h u tt le in S u rr o u n d in g A reth e a DECEMBER: 18: Levee Town with Dustin Arbuckle 19: Jimmie Bratcher’s Christmas Show 20: The KC Blues Christmas Ball to benefit Midwest Musicians Foundation with Amanda Wish, Coyote Bill Band, Stone Cutters Union, Katy Guillen Trio & The Old No. 5’s 20: Jon Dee Graham & Mike June 21: An Irish Christmas with Eddie Delahunt 21: The Nace Brothers 27: Jeff Bergen’s Elvis Show 27: Atlantic Express feat. Hal Wakes 28: The Living Deads & Terry Hancock SUN. DEC 29TH Music Music Forecast brotherhood with mike zito, cyril neville & devon allman If you’re looking for a relaxing weeknight show, you should steer clear of the Replay on Thursday. Lawrence rock quintet Muscle Worship is about the furthest thing from chilled out, and these guys wouldn’t have it any other way. The group makes wild, reckless-sounding music and puts on live shows known for their formidable volume. But it’s not meathead stuff; Muscle Worship’s self-titled LP, released this past March, is a complex, varied offering that balances punk influences with an affinity for noise. Thursday, December 19, at the Replay (946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676) Paper Bird, Akkilles, Olassa Featuring a trumpet, an upright bass, a banjo, guitars and drums, Denver’s Paper Bird is a seven-piece force of nature. The chamber-pop band, fronted by harmonizing sisters Genny and Esme Patterson, blends driving rhythms with a host of different influences. The band’s recent Rooms LP showcases that knack for variety: One minute, the sound is soulful and sweet, the next a folk-inspired hoedown. Imagine what the Lumineers would sound like if they weren’t annoying. Balancing the bill for the evening is local singer-songwriter David Bennett, who plays as Akkilles. His Augustreleased full-length, Something You’d Say, hopscotches among hyphenated indie genres, with plenty of moody guitar chords under his delicate, echoing vocals. Lawrence’s Olassa kicks off the night. Friday, December 20, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207) Steve Poltz a high-concept, low-budget collection inspired by pre-Columbian American history, with Leeds weaving a historical narrative through layers of synths and cassette and vinyl recordings. It’s the kind of album that you feel merits Cliffs Notes. The 22-year-old Leeds is getting a fair amount of national attention for Colonial Patterns, and this is a rare performance for him. California’s YYU and local electronic duo Maxine and Cleo join the bill. Saturday, December 21, at FOKL (556 Central Avenue, Kansas City, Kansas, foklcenter.com) Huerco S. Imagine a world where you didn’t immediately associate the sounds of techno with pulsing neon lights and dance raves. Picture instead techno translated into a vehicle for intricate storytelling. That’s what Kansas City native Huerco S. — the stage name of Brian Leeds — aims to do with his debut full-length, Colonial Patterns. The album, released in September, is Canadian-born, California-raised singersongwriter Steve Poltz tells some interesting stories. The man’s career has been a fantastic walkabout: He got his start fronting punk-rock band the Rugburns in the early 1990s, co-wrote Jewel’s phenomenally popular 1995 hit “You Were Meant for Me,” and has had more than his fair share of strange run-ins with famous people. (Ask him about David Cassidy.) In the 15 years since he released his first solo album, f o r e c a s t For more info & tickets: knuckleheadskc.com 2715 Rochester, KCMO 816-483-1456 26 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 n ata l ie G a l l a Ghe r Muscle Worship Steve Poltz royal southern By he has amassed something of a cult following, and his live shows are legendary among the devoted. He is part stand-up comedian, part folk artist and part guitar maniac, and you should expect all of the above Saturday night. Saturday, December 21, at Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club (3402 Main, 816-753-1909) Jesse Harris and the Gypsy Sparrows Christmas falls in the middle of the week this year, and that feels a little anticlimactic for those of us who need to trudge our postcelebration selves to work on Thursday. It’s fortunate, then, that local roots-rocker Jesse Harris and his Gypsy Sparrows are extending the holiday past sundown today. The quartet matches back-porch blues with the energy of a high-octane rock show, with Harris’ rough, barrel-chested voice leading the charge. Bring the family or use this show as an excuse to get out of the house — either way, you’re guaranteed a good time. Wednesday, December 25, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207) K e Y Pick of the Week Getting Your Money’s Worth Living Legend Locally Sourced Everything Indie Folk Music Wear Your Earplugs Synths Americana Worth the Weeknight Artist to Watch Holiday Hoedown pitch.com pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 27 Live Music Live Music 7 nights 7 nights a week a week All listed events take place Tuesday, December 31, unless noted. Starts at 5 p.m. Champagne toast at midnight. Open Beer Kitchen | 435 Westport Rd. Foundry, DJ Marvel “Boomer” Simington at 9:30 p.m., Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts dinner specials and midnight beer or champagne toast. 1601 Broadway, 816-994-7222, evekc.com EVE 2013, with three distinct ticket packages offer- City Californos | 4124 Pennsylvania, blackpartykc.com ing unlimited food and drink, and performances by The Black Party X: three packages with access to four Govinda, Victor and Penny, Dave Stephens Band and entertainment venues that include open bar with DJ Earworm. specialty cocktails, champagne toast and DJ sets. Event sponsored by NightlifeKC, 9 p.m., $85 and up. APPEARING LIVE THIS WEEK wednesday night open blues jam WITH BILLY BEALE & THE BLUES PRESERVATIONISTS thur 12.18 : LADIES NIGHT HOSTED BY J.D. & THE CHASERS fri 12.20 : DINNER SHOW WITH THE GRAVEYARD TRAIN (CCR TRIBUTE BAND) 6 TO 9PM 10PM - GARY CLOUD, CREE RIDER, PETE STEIN saturday, dec 21st 7pm LITTLE CLASS RECORDS PRESENTS: A BENEFIT FOR AJ GAITHER: THE ROAD TO IBC 20,000 STRONG MEN, BILLY BEALE, THEM DAMNED YOUNG LIVERS, THE ELECTRIC LUNGS & MORE • SERVING FOOD TILL 3AM • Sun-Sat: 8p-3a westportsaloon.com DAILY MENU SPECIALS HAPPY HOUR MONDAY-FRIDAY UPCOMING LIVE MUSIC: Scotty Lane & Rob Foster 12/19/2013 - 8:00pm Country Road 5 12/20/2013 - 9:00pm The Magnificent Bang Bangs 12/21/2013 - 9:00pm 28 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com New Year’s Day with bloody mary and mimosa specials. A $10 cover after 9 p.m. with access to McCoy’s and the 816.561.2444 www.erniebiggs.com nsas 4115 Mill Street West Port Ka 816.960.4560 4112 Pennsylvania Ave Irish Pub House | 6332 Raytown Rd. KC Live Block at the Power & Light District 14th St. and Grand Bluestem Restaurant | 900 Westport Rd., Sixth Annual All-Inclusive New Year’s Eve Party: bluestemkc.com fireworks show, Times Square ball drop at midnight, live Seven-course menu with seatings at 6 and 8:30 p.m. music by the Patrick Lentz Band, top-shelf cocktails and Bluestem lounge offers limited menu, showcasing a beers, and all-access passes from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. to 14 par- surf-and-turf special for $30 per person, plus tax and ticipating bars, plus complimentary food from 9 to 11 p.m. gratuity. Reservations required. The Landing | 1189 W. Kansas St., Liberty The Brooksider | 6330 Brookside Plz., Honky Tonk New Year’s Eve, $20 in advance or $25 at brooksiderbarandgrill.com the door, includes barbecue buffet, light appetizers, Dolewite New Year’s Eve, from 9 p.m. to midnight, Busch Light and champagne drinking fountains, with free appetizer buffet, party favors and champagne Boone’s Farm toast and party favors. Music by Outlaw toast, $15 presale, $20 at the door. Jim & the Whiskey Benders. Club 1000 | 1000 Broadway, club1000kc.com Liberty Hall | 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence GA ticket, $90, includes access to four floors with New Year’s Tease, with the Lawrence Burlesque premium-label-hosted bars, 9 p.m.; VIP Penthouse Collective, live music by Approach and Hissyfit, 1000, $120, includes access to five floors and 8 p.m. dancing with DJ DG Boogie, 8 p.m., $13. entry. Food is included. Madrid Theatre | 3810 Main Crowne Plaza | 12601 W. 95th St., Lenexa NYE Ball 2014, from 8 p.m. to 1:30 a.m., $89 and up: New Year’s Eve package includes deluxe accommoda- Tickets include Chipotle buffet, full premium open bar, tions for two, starting at $179, or Family Fun Night hors d’oeuvres, optional bottle service and coat check, accommodations for two adults and two children, and confetti cannons, music by DJ Architekt, 21 and starting at $159. Call Priscilla Graves at 913-217-1004 for older for women, 24 and older for men. more information. McCoy’s | 4057 Pennsylvania Ernie Biggs | 4115 Mill, erniebiggs.com A $10 cover after 9 p.m. with access to Beer Kitchen and A $15 cover and $5 drinks; advance registration of $25 the Foundry, DJ Titties at 9:30 p.m., dinner specials guarantees a seat. Dueling pianos begin at 7:30 p.m. and midnight beer or champagne toast. The Foundry | 424 Westport Rd. The Melting Pot | 450 Ward Parkway, A $10 cover after 9 p.m. with access to Beer Kitchen and meltingpot.com/kansas-city McCoy’s, DJ Leo Night Us at 9:30 p.m., dinner specials Dinner from 4 to 11 p.m. A package of $139 per person and free midnight beer or champagne toast. includes five-course dinner, gift bag with party favors, a picture and a champagne toast. An upgrade to $159 Grinders | 417 E. 18th St., grinderspizza.com includes a personalized bottle of wine. From noon to Ball drop and champagne toast at midnight, bonfire, 3 p.m and from 10 to 11 p.m., a cheese, chocolate and food, drink and shot specials, no cover. champagne toast for $25. Mestizo | 5270 W. 116th Pl., Leawood, Scottish Rite Temple | 1330 E. Linwood Blvd., nyekc.com mestizoleawood.com The Temple IV — Kansas City New Year’s Eve Party NYE dinner menu, $75 per person, one glass includes unlimited drinks with three levels, 10 bars, of champagne included. six DJs, eight party areas, laser light show, shadow dancers, balloon drop, shadow cannons and free Michael Smith | 1900 Main, michaelsmithkc.com parking, 9 p.m., VIP at 8 p.m., $70 and up. First seating 6, 6:30 & 7 p.m., four courses, $75 plus tax and tip, wine pairing $35 additional; second seating 64 Tavern & Grille | 6312 N. Chatham, 816-741-6444 8:30, 9, 9:30 p.m., five courses, $95 plus tax and tip, Open bar from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., full-size buffet, wine pairing $45. Reservations at 816-842-2202 or champagne toast at midnight, party favors and DJ Ray email@example.com. Peña, $59 per person or $109 per couple. Tequila Avión was voted the World’s Best Tasting Tequila at the industry’s most prestigious blind taste test. The Mission Bowl | 5399 Martway, Mission; Tanner’s Bar & Grill | 7425 Broadway, secret behind Tequila Avión’s critically acclaimed flavor 1020 S. Weaver, Olathe; missionbowl.com tannersbarandgrill.com and smoothness is slow roasting the finest Blue Weber Packages include unlimited bowling, shoe rental, Champagne toast, party favors, balloon drop, music by Agave in traditional brick ovens, small batch distillation barbecue buffet dinner, party favors and one bottle DJ Rokstar Kim, and steak-night specials. Cover is $5. of champagne per lane, plus drink specials all night, $35 per person or $150 per lane. Uptown Arts Bar | 3611 Broadway, uptownartsbar.com Poets vs. Comics New Year’s Blowout, 7 p.m., hosted O’Dowd’s Little Dublin | 4742 Pennsylvania, by Norman Dexter and Sara “MissConception” Glass, odowdslittledublin.com featuring comics Colby Cusick, Lisa Peters, Ace the Irish toast with Eddie Delahunt at 6 p.m. Complimentary Comedian, Dennis Chanay and James Inman, and poets champagne toast at midnight. Nicolle Wilson, Doug Rosenbrook, Jeanette Powers, and our ultra-slow filtration process. Ask for it at your favorite bar or liquor store and try it for yourself. Facebook.com/TequilaAvión Mark Matzeder Ezhno Martín: the Abomination; buffet One Block South | 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park and champagne toast with $5 cover. Featuring the Zeros at Fuel. Advance tickets at oneblocksouthkc.com. DJ Kirby at Kanza Hall, Uptown Theater | 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665, 913-415-0444 or firstname.lastname@example.org for uptowntheater.com table reservations. DJ Brent Tactic at Milieu. Laser light show, five rooms and five DJs, six-hour open well bar and premium beer, hotel packages available at Orlando’s Crazy Horse | 126 S. Clairborne Rd., Olathe the Q Hotel. Admission $10, Top 40 dance, champagne, food, 18 and older to enter, 21 and older to drink. The View at Briarcliff | 4000 N. Mulberry Dr., 816-820-2541 The Quaff Bar & Grill | 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918 Champagne Chic, tickets starting at $99 include Party with champagne toast at midnight, party favors, buffet dinner from 7 to 9 p.m., party from 9 p.m. DJ E, food and drink specials. to 1 a.m. With drink tickets, entertainment and champagne toast at midnight, music by Cherry Bomb Rhythm & Booze | 423 Southwest Blvd. and DJ Ron. Visionskc.com for more information. A $20 Power Hour from 9 p.m. to midnight with champagne toast, party favors and balloon drop, VooDoo Lounge at Harrah’s Casino kitchen open till 2:20 a.m. 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, voodookc.com Music by DJs Ashton Martin, Highnoone and Saints Pub + Patio | 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, K-Hamma. Doors at 9 p.m., must be 21 to enter. 913-492-3900 Call 816-889-4237 for VIP reservations. Advance $15 tickets include drink specials, table reservations, appetizer buffet from 8 to 9 p.m., prizes Westport Saloon | 4112 Pennsylvania, 816-960-4560, and party favors, and first access to complimentary westportsaloon.com shuttle service. Music by DJ Pure. Drink specials and live music with the Flood Brothers, the Kentucky Gentlemen, Coyote Bill Boogie Band, and Billy Beale, 8 p.m. pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 29 AGENDA continued from page 13 Thursday | 12.19 | STEEL PANTHER ART EXHIBITS & EVENTS About Face: Contemporary Portraiture | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak, nelson-atkins.org PERFORMING ARTS Kansas City Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 7:30 p.m. Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, kcballet.org Lynn Benson: Sidetrip | 12-4 p.m. Saturday, Kiosk Gallery, 3951 Broadway Kansas City Symphony: Christmas Festival | 7 p.m. Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, kcsymphony.org Celebrating Picasso: Through the Lens of David Douglas Duncan | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak COMEDY DAY THURS James Johann | 8 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 12.19 Village West Pkwy., KCK George Willborn | 7:30 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St. g -rockin A cock s a Xm Charlotte Street presents We’ll Make Out Better Than Okay | La Esquina, 1000 W. 25th St. Charlotte Street’s 2013 Visual Artist Awards Exhibition | Grand Arts, 1819 Grand, charlottestreet.org SPORTS & REC Dressed Up | Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 4420 Warwick Blvd., kemperart.org Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 for skate rental), 2450 Grand The Ice at Park Place | 11 a.m.10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood MORE EVENTS ONL INE Red Dog’s Dog Days | 6 a.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence AT M PITCH.CO SEASONAL EVENTS ACLU Doesn’t Hate Christmas Party | 6-9 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway 98.9 the Rock’s Twisted Xmas with Steel Panther and Isaac James | 8 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main Laugh Riot, Slight Right with Crabalocker | 8 p.m. Riff Raff | 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway Eddie Moore & the Outer Circle | 9 p.m. Green Lady Singer-Songwriter Christmas Show, Deco Auto | The Brick, 1727 McGee Mr. Elevator & the Brain Hotel, Thuggees | 10 p.m. E. 85th St. Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence Lounge, 1809 Grand MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Muscle Worship, American Cream, This Is My Condition | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Christmas in the Park | 5:30-10 p.m. Longview Lake Lawrence Spirit of Christmas Past | 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Bingham- Ben Rekittke, Sri Yantra, Vital Forms, Bearface, Damned by the Pope | Campground, 10711 W. Scherer Waggoner Estate, 313 W. Pacific, Independence MUSIC Augustines | 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway Friday | 12.20 | PERFORMING ARTS A Kansas Nutcracker | 7 p.m. Lawrence Arts Center, 7 p.m. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main D TH U RS Titanium Blue | 7:30 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 AY 12.19 940 New Hampshire, Lawrence City in Motion Christmas Extravaganza Variety Show | 7 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Dickens Carolers in concert | 8 p.m. Chestnut Fine Arts Center, 234 N. Chestnut, Olathe Family Tour Hour at the Kemper Museum | 2-3 p.m. Saturday, 4420 Warwick Blvd. Impressionist France | Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak Kaws • Ups and Downs; Dylan Mortimer • Illuminate | Nerman Museum of Contemporary Art, JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park Lost and Found: A Group Show | PLUG Projects, 1613 Genessee Neeta Madahar: Falling | Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 4420 Warwick Blvd. SNIPE HUNT | 12-6 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, Percolator, alley between Arts Center and Ninth St., Lawrence Test Patterns and Floor Samples: New Work by Garry Noland | Studios Inc., 1708 Campbell Third Thursday at the Nerman | 3:30- Jimmie Bratcher’s Christmas Show | 8 p.m. Kansas City Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 4:30 p.m. Thursday, Nerman Museum of Contemporary Art, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park County Road 5, Brody Buster Band | 9 p.m. Czar, Kansas City Symphony: Christmas Festival | 8 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcsymphony.org James Turrell: Gard Blue | Spencer Museum Bart Crow, the Scott Ford Band | VooDoo Lounge, The Lettermen | 8 p.m. Yardley Hall at JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park Kukuli Velarde • Plunder Me, Baby | Through Demon Lips, Bruser Queen, Vigil & Thieves | COMEDY Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester 7:30 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcballet.org 1531 Grand Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Kansas City Musician’s Appreciation Dinner with music by the Elder Statesmen of Kansas City and Karl McComas-Reichl | 4-7 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. 30 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 Bad Santa | 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester pitch.com of Art, 1301 Mississippi , Lawrence Sunday, Nerman Museum of Contemporary Art 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park Christmas Special Comedy Show | 10 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway James Johann | 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK Steve Hirst | 7:45 & 10 p.m. Stanford’s on Broadway, George Willborn | 8 & 10:30 p.m. Improv Comedy Club 3700 Broadway and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St. SportS & rec 40 Watt Dreams, Wells the traveler | 6 p.m. Replay A ChristmAs CArol Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence crown center Ice terrace | 10 a.m.-11 p.m., $6 ($3 for skate rental), 2450 Grand, crowncenter.com Jon Dee Graham and Mike June | 9 p.m. Knuckle- heads Saloon, 2715 Rochester the Ice at park place | 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood the Kc Blues christmas Ball for the Midwest Music Foundation, with amanda Wish, coyote Bill Band, Stonecutters union, Katy Guillen trio, the old no. 5s | 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, Missouri Mavericks vs. St. charles chill | 7:05 p.m. Independence Events Center, 19100 E. Valley View Pkwy., Independence 2715 Rochester the patrick lentz Band | 8 p.m. Fuel, 7300 W. 119th SeaSonal eventS St., Overland Park christmas in the park | 5:30-11 p.m. Longview Lake Campground, 10711 W. Scherer the MGDs | The Kill Devil Club, 61 E. 14th St. Spirit of christmas past | 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Bingham- Muff punch, paper Buffalo, the Westerners | MuSIc Matt otto with Steve cardenas | 8 p.m. Take Five Waggoner Estate, 313 W. Pacific, Independence 1020 Westport Rd. Don Ipock akkilles, paper Bird, olassa | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 9 p.m. Daveyâ€™s Uptown, 3402 Main Coffee + Bar, 5336 W. 151st St., Leawood the phantastics, outer circle | TheBrick,1727McGee the Belles, Benjamin cartel | 10 p.m. MiniBar, A Christmas Carol | Kansas City Repertory Theatre, 4949 Cherry, kcrep.org Drew Black and Dirty electric, Scruffy and the Janitors, Gastown lamps | 9 p.m. The Riot Room, the Bluz Benderz | 8 p.m. Trouser Mouse, 410 S. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs 1531 Grand pete Stein | Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania Black on Black | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Mas- college takeover with the phoenix club and DJ eric coomes | Mosaic Lounge, 1331 Walnut Dumptruck Butterlips Holiday Show | The ryan Swartzlander, the Sexy accident, Big Sea | Coda, 1744 Broadway continued on page 32 3810 Broadway 4048 Broadway sachusetts, Lawrence rolling Foliage, Fast Food Junkies, 80 proof engine | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Dinsdale, now/Here, Monks Wine | 6 p.m. Czar, Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence pitch.com Lawrence december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 31 continued from page 31 Cassie Taylor | 9 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. LIVE MUSIC EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT 8-12PM Dec. 20 - Midlife Crisis Dec. 27 - True Blood Blues Band Jan. 17 - Allied Saints Jan. 24 - 90 to Nothing CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE FOR FOOD SPECIALS & UPCOMING BAND DATES! 523 E. Red Bridge Rd. KCMO mon: rur al thu 12/19 grit 6pm // karao ke christma s show 10pm w / d e c fri 12/20 o auto sat 12/21 the phantastics& friends ,o attic wolv es, d uter circle thu 12/26 devon russell avid brutchfield , fri 12/27 holiday hango sat 12/28 magfuxxingnificver bingo the iron quest ent, 10 year an tue 12/31 & blondi bruneion, rockets to r niversary ussia tt mark rey nolds 50 i th b-day & listenin g party • Red Bridge Shopping Center • 816.942.0400 • www.theDailyLimitkc.com 85th St. 12th Street Jump Holiday Special featuring Bobby Watson | 7:30 p.m. Unity Temple, 707 W. 47th SeASoNAL eveNTS Christmas in the Park | 5:30-11 p.m. Longview Lake Campground, 10711 W. Scherer St., 12thstreetjump.com Spirit of Christmas Past | 10 a.m.-4 p.m. BinghamWaggoner Estate, 313 W. Pacific, Independence Charles Williams and Lisa Henry | 8:30 p.m. The Whoville Holidays | 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m. City Market, NigHTLife Winter Solstice Celebration | 6:30-8 p.m. Ernie Miller Nature Center, 909 N. Hwy. 7, Olathe Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. Mingle with Team Bear Club | 10 p.m. The Eighth Street Taproom, 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence Randy Paske spins the X-mas Cheer, DJ B-Stee | 7 p.m. MiniBar, 3810 Broadway Saturday | 12.21 | 20 E. Fifth St. SPoRTS & ReC Budweiser presents Season’s Beatings | 7 p.m. Kansas Expocentre, 1 Expocentre Dr., Topeka Crown Center ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-11 p.m., $6 ($3 for skate rental), 2450 Grand, crowncenter.com PeRfoRMiNg ARTS A Kansas Nutcracker | 2 & 7 p.m. Lawrence Arts Center, The ice at Park Place | 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood An irish Christmas with eddie Delahunt | 8:30 p.m. Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence 940 New Hampshire, Lawrence 1515 WESTPORT RD. • 816-931-9417 Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester WIFI NOW AVAILABLE! POOL TABLE • MEGATOUCH • 7 PINBALLS • PINBALL TOURNAMENT WEDNESDAYS • TOUCHTUNES INTERNET JUKEBOX • DRINKING ON THE SMOKING PATIO • CRAFT BEERS • $2 PBR / HIGH LIFE OPEN 12PM ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY • 4PM - 2AM EVERYDAY CHECK OUT THE NEW ALL DAY HAPPY HOUR kcmo WED. 3/6 THURS. 3/7 WWW.THERECORDBAR.COM 816-753-5207 LIQUORBUDDIES CAVEMANCOMPUTER WED.SKELETONS 12/18 THREE OFMAGIC CLUBSVEHICLES TOUR HOTDOG THE ROYAL FRI. CONCEPT/AMERICAN 3/8 SAT.AUTHORS/ 3/9 MISTERWIVES 6PM DOODADS 7PM WIRES 10PM CHEROKEE 10PM SOFT REEDS THURS. 12/19 DEMON LIPS ROCK RIFLE NOISEFM BRUISER QUEEN/VIGIL & THIEVES BAD IDEAS GENTLEMANSAVAGE APPROPRIATE GRAMMAR ANDREAPERDUE FRI. 12/20 6PM THE DOO DADS 10PM AKKILLES/PAPER BIRD/OLASSA SUN. 3/10 MON. 3/11 SAT. 12/21 KC UNCOVERED III : SHINENOISES A LIGHT 8PM DESERT A TRIBUTE TO THE MUSIC OF ABIGAIL HENDERSON ALATURKA MELISMA TICS CD RELEASE SO COW SISTER MARY ROTTENCROTCH/NOT A PLANET PARTY (IRELAND) VI TRAN BAND/THE CLEMENTINES/THE OIL LAMPS TUES.www.voteformmf.com 3/12 WED. 3/13 GOTNEXT OFF WITH HEADS MIDWEST SUN. 12/22THEIR JEFF HARSHBARGER’S ALT JAZZ SERIES TWO4ONE TEENAGEBOTTLEROCKET BRIAN SCARBOROUGH DOMCHRONICLES MASKEDINTRUDER PETER SENSAY MON. 12/23 TRANSFORMOTRON KILL NOISEBOYS STEDDYP MIRY WILD/ABIGAIL JONES UPCOMINGCHRISTMAS TUES. 12/24 CLOSED-MERRY 3/14 EXPENDABLES 3/18 DARWIN DEEZE 3/19 LYDIA LOVELESS 4/3 THAO& TGDSD 4/8 FU MANCHU 4/16SPARROWS MOWGLIS WED 12/25 THE GYPSY 4/23 BLACK MT. JAKE STANTON 4/30 DEVIL MAKE 3 WEEKLY SUN. 12-5PM BARTENDER’S BRUNCH & BLOODY MARY BAR MON. 7PM SONIC SPECTRUM MUSIC TRIVIA TUES. 7PM HONKY TONK SUPPER CLUB WED. 7PM BOB WALKENHORST & FRIENDS THURS. 7PM TRIVIA CLASH OPENDAILY SUN. 12PM-12AM MON.TUES.SAT. 4PM-1:30AM WED-FRI 12PM-1:30AM KITCHEN OPEN LATE WWW.THERECORDBAR.COMFOR FULL SCHEDULE the pitch december 19-26, 2013 Arts Center, 234 N. Chestnut, Olathe Anakin, DJ Lee | 11 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand Kansas Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 7 p.m. To- Attic Wolves, David Burchfield and the great Stop, Devon Russell of the Natural State | The Kansas City Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 2 & 1020 WESTPORT RD 32 MUSiC Dickens Carolers in concert | 8 p.m. Chestnut Fine peka Performing Arts Center, 214 S.E. Eighth St., Topeka Shine A Light! pitch.com KU vs. georgetown men’s basketball | 11 a.m. Allen Brick, 1727 McGee 7:30 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcballet.org Brody Buster | The Kill Devil Club, 61 E. 14th St. Kansas City Symphony: Christmas festival | 1 & 8 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcsymphony.org Matt Chalk | 8 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar, 5336 W. 151st St., Leawood owen/Cox Dance group presents The Nutcracker and the Mouse King | 8 p.m. Polsky Theatre Cherry Bomb | The Brooksider, 6330 Brookside Plz. at JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park four fried Chickens and a Coke | 9 p.m. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St. CoMeDy Steve Hirst | 7:45 & 10 p.m. Stanford’s on Broadway, Teague Hayes and Brendan MacNaughton’s tribute to Morphine | Coda, 1744 Broadway The improv’s Comedy Magic Show | 1 p.m. Improv Massachusetts, Lawrence 3700 Broadway Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St. James Johann | 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK The Kick-off improv Comedy Show | 8-9:30 p.m. Westport Coffee House, 4010 Pennsylvania george Willborn | 7 & 10 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St. High Magic, Key Party | 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 John Paul Drum’s flying Circus | 9 p.m. Quasimodo, 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park KC Uncovered iii—Shine a Light with Sister Mary Rotten Crotch, Not a Planet, vi Tran Band, the Clementines, the oil Lamps | 7 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Ben Miller Band | 9 p.m. Trouser Mouse, 410 S. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs fooD & DRiNK The Nace Brothers | 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, Holiday Tea | 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Bluestem, 900 Westport 2715 Rochester Shatto eggnog Winter Party | 10 a.m.-noon & The Monarchs, the invisible World, Rev gusto | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence continued on page 34 Rd., 816-561-1101 4-6 p.m. Whole Foods, 7401 W. 91st St., Overland Park thebroadwayjazzclub.com The Broadway Jazz Club NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION! Tues., December 31 • 8 pm - 1 am Featuring Megan Birdsall Ticket price includes: 4 Course Meal • Entertainment • Champagne Toast at Midnight • Party Favors $120.00 per couple • $60.00 for singles Price does not include tax or gratuity For more information and to make reservations go to: thebroadwayjazzclub.com and click on reservation tab or call 816-298-6316 Tuesday through Saturday from 3 pm to midnight 3601 Broadway, KCMO 64111 pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 33 continued from page 32 Matt Otto Quartet with Steve Cardenas | 8:30 p.m. The Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. Steve Poltz | 7:30 p.m. Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main Rock n’ Roll Christmas with Looks That Kill and Almost KISS | 7 p.m. Aftershock Bar & Grill, 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam Son Venezuela, DJ Jalapeno | 9 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence SPORTS & ReC 8614 N. Boardwalk Ave. Karaoke | 10:30 p.m. The Brick, 1727 McGee Dates and times vary. The Ice at Park Place | 12-8 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), house, 1400 Main Sing Along: X-mas Pops | 7:30 p.m. Alamo Draft- Best Laid Plans: A Murder Mystery Dinner | 7 p.m. Saturday, KCMT Tiffany Ballroom, 903 for skate rental), 2450 Grand 117th and Nall, Leawood Chiefs vs. Colts | Noon, Arrowhead Stadium KU vs. Tulsa women’s basketball | 2 p.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence Mariinsky Theatre’s The Nutcracker | 1:30 p.m. Tivoli Cinemas, 4050 Pennsylvania, tivolikc.com Toys for Tots benefit with the Noise FM, We Are Voices, Rooms Without Windows | 8 p.m., $8 Uptown Arts Bar, 3611 Broadway Wells the Traveler, Supermassive Black Holes | 9 p.m. Californos, 4124 Pennsylvania NIgHTLIFe MUSIC Battle of the Bands with Like Kings We Fall, Wicken, Those gypsies, Too Late for Satellites, Organized Mess, First Request, Freedomclutch, Consider the Lemming, the Bends | 4 p.m. After- shock Bar & Grill, 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam ellington’s Nutcracker with Clint Ashlock and friends | 7 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar, 5336 W. 151st St., Leawood Christmas Formal with the Jazzhaus Big Band | 10:30 p.m. Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence gold Label Soul with Hector the Selector | 10 p.m. Eighth Street Taproom, 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence Sunday | 12.22 | Steve Lambert Quartet | 10 p.m. Green Lady Lounge, 1809 Grand 940 New Hampshire, Lawrence Dickens Carolers in concert | 2 p.m. Chestnut Fine Arts Center, 234 N. Chestnut, Olathe Kansas Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 1 p.m. To- 303 W. 10th St., qualityhillplayhouse.com Clybourne Park | Unicorn Theatre, 3828 Main, unicorntheatre.org 1 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcballet.org Dead Air | $54/$64, the Golden Ox, 1600 Genessee, kcmysterytrain.com SPORTS & ReC Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-6 p.m., $6 ($3 for skate rental), 2450 Grand The Ice at Park Place | 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 for skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood Red Dog’s Dog Days | 6 a.m. Allen Fieldhouse, 1651 Naismith Dr., Lawrence Our Author Died Today | The Living Room Theatre, 1818 McGee, thelivingroomkc.com The Santaland Diaries | Kansas City Rep, Copaken Stage, 13th St. and Walnut, kcrep.org A Spectacular Christmas | Musical Theater Heritage, Off Center Theatre, Crown Center, 2450 Grand, mthkc.org MUSIC The Wiz | The Coterie, Crown Center, 2450 Grand, thecoterie.org 1020 Westport Rd. Service Industry gospel Revival | Westport Saloon, 4112 Pennsylvania Monday | 12.23 | PeRFORMINg ARTS Kansas City Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 2 & 1601 Broadway Kansas City Symphony: Christmas Festival | 2:30 & 7 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kc- Campground, 10711 W. Scherer Love Bones, Jazz Cigarettes | 6 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence Dave Shelton’s Christmas eve Soul Shakedown | 10 p.m. Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence Wednesday | 12.25 | SPORTS & ReC The Ice at Park Place | 11 a.m.-10 p.m., $7 ($3 skate rental), 117th St. and Nall, Leawood SeASONAL eVeNTS MUSIC Peggy Chilson | 7:30 p.m. Californos, 4124 Pennsylvania COMeDy Christmas in Song | Quality Hill Playhouse, Brian Scarborough Quintet | 8 p.m. RecordBar, Spire Chamber ensemble & Baroque Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah | 7 p.m. Kauffman Center, Trans-Siberian Orchestra: Lost Christmas eve | 3 & 7:30 p.m. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand PeRFORMINg ARTS Theatre, 4949 Cherry, kcrep.org Christmas in the Park | 5:30-10 p.m. Longview Lake Lawnside BBQ, 1205 E. 85th St. Kansas City Ballet presents The Nutcracker | 1 & 5 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcballet.org at JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Overland Park Tuesday | 12.24 | A Christmas Carol | Kansas City Repertory Lee McBee and the Confessors | 6-9 p.m. B.B.’s 7:30 p.m. Kauffman Center, 1601 Broadway, kcballet.org Owen/Cox Dance group presents The Nutcracker and the Mouse King | 2 p.m. Polsky Theatre Trivia with Matt Larson | 8 p.m. Bulldog, 1715 Main Harrison. grimprov.com/kansas-city ’Twas the Night Before Christmas | Theatre for Young America, City Stage Theater, Union Station, 30 W. Pershing Rd., tya.org peka Performing Arts Center, 214 S.E. Eighth St., Topeka symphony.org 1020 Westport Rd. SeASONAL eVeNTS PeRFORMINg ARTS A Kansas Nutcracker | 2 p.m. Lawrence Arts Center, Sonic Spectrum Music Trivia | 7 p.m. RecordBar, Kansas City Ballet presents The Nutcracker | ($4 with toy donation), the Riot Room, 4048 Broadway The Walltalkers Christmas Show | 8 p.m. The TheaTer Crown Center Ice Terrace | 10 a.m.-9 p.m., $6 ($3 FILM Stolen Winnebagos | The BrewTop Pub and Patio, NIgHTLIFe Christmas in the Park | 5:30-11 p.m. Longview Lake Campground, 10711 W. Scherer MUSIC everette DeVan | 7 p.m. Blue Room, 1616 E. 18th St. Live karaoke with Sovereign States | 8 p.m. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence Colin Martin, with Ancient Olive, Artful Darling, Brent Lee | 7 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand gypsy Sparrows, Jake Stanton | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Holiday Snow: Santa’s Ho Ho Hos with K Dollar Sign, Ty Dot, Snow, Da Klown, Da game, Lil Craig, Chef Boi | 10 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand MUSeUM exhibiTS & evenTS Citizen Soldiers on the Prairie | Johnson County Museum of History, 6305 Lackman Rd., Shawnee, jocomuseum.org Convergence: Jazz, Film, Dance and the Visual Arts | American Jazz Museum, 1616 E. 18th St. Music Is My First Love: Lupe M. Gonzalez Dance Orchestra | Kansas City Museum, 3218 Gladstone Blvd., kansascitymuseum.org Real Pirates | Union Station, 30 W. Pershing Rd. 25th Anniversary Holiday exhibit | Straw- berry Hill Ethnic Museum and Cultural Center, 12-5 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, 720 N. Fourth St., KCK, strawberryhillmuseum.org A Very Fifties Christmas | Johnson County Museum of History, 6305 Lackman Rd., Shawnee James Johann | 7 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club, 1867 Village West Pkwy., KCK Transformotron, Miry Wild, Abigail Jones | 10 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd. Room, 4048 Broadway E-mail submissions to email@example.com george Willborn | 7 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and The Transients | The BrewTop Pub and Patio, 8614 Lucas Parker and Friends | 10 p.m. Jazzhaus, 926-1/2 or enter submissions at pitch.com, where you can search our complete listings guide. Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St. 34 the pitch december 19-26, 2013 N. Boardwalk Ave. pitch.com Mac Lethal with DJ Approach | 8 p.m. The Riot Massachusetts, Lawrence KC’S # 1 DATELINE WILD LOCAL GUYS & GIRLS ( 800 ) 409-MEET 6 3 3 pitch.com 8 december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 35 Alexis Massage NEW LOCATION! licensed massage 10am - 7pm • 7 days a week hot & warm oils hot showers/body shampoos available cash / visa / mastercard / Call for appT. PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE Chinese Medicine & Hot Stone Kansas City’s 539 E Santa Fe St Suite 5 Olathe KS 66061 913-390-0606 OPEN 7 DAYS: 10am-10pm MASSAGE 816-841-1588 913-279-9212 Change agent All AmericAn 4-Handed Massage Walk-Ins Welcome 7 days a week ( 913 ) 677-0994 10729 Shawnee Mission Parkway, Shawnee, KS 66203 •GR AND OP ENI NG• 30 minute FREE TRIAL A L L A S I AN S TAFF The Best Asian Massage OPEN 7 DAYS • 10AM - 10PM WALK-INS WELCOME 18+ Credit Card • Debit Card •Cash 6505 E FRONTAGE RD #27 MERRIAM, KS 913.789.7226 Dear Dan: I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relation- ship for 3.5 years with a wonderful man, also 28. We’re committed to each other and planning a future. We’ve lived together for 2.5 years. Enter the issue: We’ve been discussing marriage since January. “I don’t feel old enough yet,” he says. We talk about wanting the same things in life, like a family and a home, but those are things that I won’t do with him unless we’re married and that I don’t want to start when I’m 35. We’ve talked about not wanting to be old parents and we seem to agree on everything — except he won’t pull the trigger. In August, he mentioned the possibility of a proposal around the holidays. But when his mom asked if they should go shopping for a ring, he told her no! I’m ready for the next phase. He says he is, too, but he won’t propose. Put Off Proposal Depresses a Queenslander Dear POPDAQ: This is going to seem random, but indulge me. There was an article in The New York Times recently about how young men still aren’t doing their fair share of the cooking and cleaning. “Women today make up 40 percent of America’s sole or primary breadwinners for families with children under 18,” Stephen Marche wrote. “[But] men’s time investment in housework has not significantly altered in nearly 30 years.” Reading Marche’s piece — in which he makes the case not for men to do more housework (God forbid), but for men and women to live together in filth — made me say, “So glad I’m gay.” Out loud. On an airplane. I sometimes have that reaction when I read stories about “the gender wars” or when I read smutshaming bullshit about straight men and porn. But Marche’s essay elicited my response because my husband and I don’t have the option of defaulting to the stupid gender norms, roles, expectations, neuroses and riptides. Despite the fact that we’re both men, my husband and I do not live together in filth. When a bed needs to be made or a dish needs to be washed or a floor needs to be mopped — or a spouse’s cock needs to be sucked — one of us makes, washes, mops or sucks it. You want to get engaged to this guy? Propose to him. Yes, yes, traditionally the penis-havers do the proposing in Breederville. But it’s not unheard of for someone to make a marriage proposal to a man. Just ask my husband. Dear Dan: Hello from Hong Kong! I’m a 28-year- old gay guy living happily with my boyfriend. My sexual interests have always been men, but a few months ago, I stumbled across femdom porn on the Internet. Images of submissive men under the control of dominant women are so fascinating to me that I’ve been masturbating 36 the pitch By D a n S ava ge 913-400-3515 NEW LIFE MASSAGE HOTTEST GAY CHATLINE S ava g e L o v e december 19-26, 2013 pitch.com three times a day watching femdom porn. I’ve never been interested in straight porn or fucking someone without a cock, and I have no experience in BDSM at all. I now fantasize about being dominated and humiliated by a woman. I began looking at pro-dom ads on the Internet. I love my boyfriend, but my femdom fantasy has become a taboo between us. Is seeing a pro dom considered cheating? Should I see a pro dom and keep it a secret? How can I talk to my boyfriend about my new sexual interest? Gay Man Seeks Lady Dom Dear GMSLD: If your boyfriend considers it cheating, then it’s cheating. But I think you should see a pro dom for a no-sex domination session. (Most pro doms offer only no-sex sessions.) You might find the reality of being abused by a dominant woman less arousing than the fantasy, so a single session could snap you out of it. And if it doesn’t? You need to have a talk with your boyfriend about your evolving sexual identity, your newly discovered kinks, and if you can have him and your femdom fantasies and/or realities, too. Good luck. Dear Dan: I’m a straight 18-year-old girl, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for eight months. He recently told me that he wishes we never had sex because he feels like he raped himself by doing it. He has had some bad sexual experiences in the past, but he has initiated almost all of our sexual activity. He says he has problems and a low sense of self-worth. I told him that we can take it slow, but I’m not sure he’s ever going to be all right with sexual things. He said he doesn’t mind if I get sex from other people, but I want to help him understand that he’s a good person and that sex isn’t a bad thing. My Sad Boyfriend P.S. We’re both fairly sure that he could be asexual. Can asexual people enjoy sex at all? Dear MSB: Your boyfriend doesn’t need a girlfriend. What he needs is loving, concerned friends (you could be one) and a trained, competent therapist (you’re not one). If having a girlfriend with sexual interests and needs traumatizes your boyfriend, then he shouldn’t have a girlfriend with sexual interests and needs. If he’s a miserable, game-playing jerk who likes to make other people miserable, and he has discovered that playing the victim after sex (that he enjoyed) makes his girlfriend miserable, then you shouldn’t have him. The Savage Lovecast is at savagelovecast.com. Have a question for Dan Savage? E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org how does half off sound? .com pitch.com december 19-26, 2013 the pitch 37 NOW HIRING FOR CONCERTS CONVENTIONS SPORTING EVENTS EvENt StaFF, USHERS, tIckEt takERS APPLY IN PERSON 4050 Pennsylvania Ste. 111 KCMO 64111 OR ONLINE www. crowdsystems.com EOE Classifieds AT TENTION: EX-OFFENDERS & AT RISK JOB SEEKERS Do you need job placement assistance? Do you need your criminal record expunged? 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