The Pitch: October 18, 2012
The Pitch, October 18-24, 2012. Kansas City's Alternative Weekly.
OC T OBER 18–24 , 2 012 | F R EE | VOL . 3 2 NO. 16 | PI T CH.COM OCTOBER 18–24, 2012 | VOL. 32 NO. 16 E D I T O R I A L If you don’t look good, We don’t look good! (we care how you look) Great hair services for less Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor David Hudnall Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, Ben Palosaari Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Calendar Editor Berry Anderson Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer Food Blogger, Web Editor Jonathan Bender Proofreader Brent Shepherd Contributing Writers Tracy Abeln, Theresa Bembnister, April Fleming, Chris Milbourn, Matt Pearce, Dan Savage, Abbie Stutzer Intern Nadia Imafidon A R T Art Director Ashford Stamper Contributing Photographers Angela C. Bond, Chris Mullins, Lauren Phillips, Sabrina Staires, Brooke Vandever Design Intern Chloe George P R O D U C T I O N find us! 91st & Metcalf, OP, KS | 913-341-7286 MitsuSatoHairAcademy.com Production Manager Christina Riddle Multimedia Designer Vu Radley A D V E R T I S I N G Sales Manager Erin Carey Senior Classified Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Classified Multimedia Specialist Andrew Disper Multimedia Specialists Michelle Acevedo, Kirin Arnold Director of Marketing & Operations Jason Dockery Digital Marketing Manager Keli Sweetland All services done by students with supervision. THE LONGEST DAY C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Director Mike Ryan Judging barbecue at the B U S I N E S S Accounts Receivable Jodi Waldsmith Publisher Joel Hornbostel American Royal is about survival. S O U T H C O M M Chief Executive Officer Chris Ferrell Chief Financial Officer Patrick Min Chief Operating Officer Rob Jiranek Chief Marketing Officer Susan Torregrossa Chief Technology Officer Matt Locke Business Manager Eric Norwood Director of Digital Sales & Marketing David Walker Director of Accounting Todd Patton Creative Director Heather Pierce Director of Online Content/Development Patrick Rains N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com Senior Vice President of Sales Susan Belair Senior Vice President of Sales Operations Joe Larkin B Y J O N AT H A N B E N D E R 8 POLI SIGH M.O.I. says We Might Be Wrong, but artist Don Wilkison may be right. BY THERESA BEMBNISTER B A C K P A G E . C O M 19 Vice President Sales & Marketing Carl Ferrer Business Manager Jess Adams Accountant David Roberts D I S T R I B U T I O N The Pitch distributes 45,000 copies a week and is available free throughout Greater Kansas City, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $5 each, payable at The Pitch’s office in advance. The Pitch may be distributed only by The Pitch’s authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of The Pitch, take more than one copy of each week’s issue. Mail subscriptions: $22.50 for six months or $45 per year, payable in advance. Application to mail at second-class postage rates is pending at Kansas City, MO 64108. R ESTAURAN T: P O S S I B L E Poco’s on the Boulevard braces for life after its cable close-up. C O P Y R I G H T BY CHARLES FERRUZZ A The contents of The Pitch are Copyright 2012 by KC Communications, LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the publisher. The Pitch address: 1701 Main, Kansas City, MO 64108 For information or to leave a story tip, call: 816-561-6061 Editorial fax: 816-756-0502 For classifieds, call: 816-218-6759 For retail advertising, call: 816-218-6702 ON TH E COVE R 21 4 6 8 13 17 19 21 26 32 36 PITCH QUESTIONNAIRE PLOG FEATURE F I LT E R STAGE ART CAFÉ MUSIC NIGHTLIFE SAVAGE LOVE M EAN WH I L E AT P I TC H . C O M ILLUSTRATION BY ASHFORD STAMPER 2 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com pitch.com FIRST FAMILY CHURCH AUCTION has something for everyone. TWIN PEAKS is opening an outpost in Olathe. COOPER’S HAWK opening in December, and 810 Zone in Lee’s Summit open now. M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X THE PITCH 2 pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 3 QUESTIONNAIRE ANGEE SIMMONS Current neighborhood: Kearney Who or what is your sidekick? Coffee. I can’t live without it and I drink it from sunup to sundown. I’m not sure the caffeine really has an effect on me anymore, but mentally it takes me from a long TV production day to piano lessons, Scouts, soccer and homework. What was the last local restaurant you patronized? Lulu’s Thai Noodle Shop Where do you drink? Davey’s Uptown. With a slew of kid carting, I don’t do it as much, but when I get the opportunity, it’s the place I go. Mokie is the best bartender in the city, and you can’t beat the atmosphere and live music. What’s your favorite charity? Boy and Girl Scouts. My mom was my leader, and I’m now my daughter’s. They are really positive organizations that empower young boys and girls to become socially responsible citizens. Kids are inundated with negative messages and overly competitive activities. Scouts help ground them in reality. Be a good, honest person. Care for the Earth. Be a proud citizen. Favorite place to spend your paycheck: Pryde’s in Westport. Just ask my husband, I own way too many kitchen gadgets. What local phenomenon do you think is overrated? It’s not just local, but I think cake pops are ridiculous. It’s not nearly enough cake. I need a cake-pop bouquet to even come close to satiating my sweet tooth. Where do you like to take out-of-town guests? Celebrity you’d like to ride the Mamba with at Worlds of Fun: Physicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, so he could reveal the mysteries of the roller coaster in midhurl. pit stop at the Plaza, but I like to show off that Kansas City has more than one cool attraction. Finish this sentence: “Kansas City got it right when …” It revitalized the Crossroads. I love how it has become infectious. Now the West Bottoms has followed suit. I have my fingers crossed that it will spread east and hit 18th & Vine. “Kansas City needs …” Light rail. We’re becom- ing too hip and cool not to have it! “People might be surprised to know that I …” Still own all of my Tiger Beat magazines from 1985 to ’91. (Well, actually, close friends wouldn’t be surprised at all.) I’m extremely nostalgic. “On my day off, I like to …” Load up on popcorn with an ice-cold Diet Coke and catch a movie. “In five years, I’ll be …” Entering the tween years with my daughter and son, so I’ll either be pulling out my hair or be thankful that I’m the exception. What TV show do you make sure you watch? Crossroads and the aforementioned Davey’s Uptown. Folks usually like to at least make a Well, I work in TV, so I’m not one of those “I never watch TV” kinds of people. I actually 4 pitch.com THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 Person or thing you find really irritating at this moment: Bad TV — Honey Boo Boo, need I S A B R I N A S TA I R E S not organized enough. KCPT Channel 19 big on hanging around the house. We like to scour the KC metro — everything from the Jesse James festival in our own backyard to Weston’s October Fest, Jiggle Jam, Theatre in the Park, Boo at the Zoo, Plaza lights. The list goes on. Those of you who keep up KC event calendars, keep up the good work! Hometown: I grew up on a farm near the small town of Afton, Iowa. What career would you choose in an alternate reality? Librarian. But sadly, in this life, I’m Executive producer, say more? consider it professional development and watch a lot! I never miss Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. That show is pure genius! And I’m anxiously awaiting the return of Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones. take up a lot of space in my iTunes: Old Crow Medicine Show, Gillian Welch and Todd Snider. I love going to see live shows, and singer-songwriters are my favorite. What subscription — print, digital, etc. — do you value most? My husband and I are lifetime sub- scribers to Rolling Stone and Time. One of my favorite writers is Joel Stein. Last book you read: A friend of mine gave me Anna Karenina 10 years ago. With a new movie coming out, I have recommitted myself to finishing it — a couple of more weeks of sitting at gymnastic practice and I think I’ll get there. Interesting brush with the law? I do remember I’m a big fan of period dramas and will watch the Jane Austen films over and over and over. I’m literally on my second DVD of Pride and Prejudice after wearing out the first one. leaving KCPT’s live auction one year and being thankful that I had a dozen LaMar’s doughnuts in my passenger seat. I was stopped driving home, and the officer looked over and asked if I was expecting him — I offered him one, and he gave me a warning. Favorite day trip: I’m a huge history nut and so Describe a recent triumph: When you work in What movie do you watch at least once a year? are my kids, so we opt for destinations that provide a lot of local-history options. One of our favorites is Independence: the Harry S. Truman sites, the National Frontier Trails Museum, Fort Osage. Then when you’re done soaking it all up, the historic square is upping the ante with some cool restaurants and shops. What local tradition do you take part in every year? It’s more like what local tradition do we not take part in. On weekends, we’re not pitch.com TV, it’s a big ol’ all-hands-on-deck, so I share in my triumphs, but I just completed a national production for PBS, Homecoming: The Kansas City Symphony Presents Joyce DiDonato. It was my first time producing a show that aired on nearly every PBS station across the country. Then the cherry on the top was being able to accept two Regional Emmys at this year’s awards. Simmons produces Imagine KC; the next episode airs at 9 p.m. Thursday, November 8. M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X THE PITCH 1 pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 5 PLOG IT’S IN THE BAG K Shark Tank survivors Kevin and Brian Fleming believe that they’ve stumbled upon the next indispensable invention. evin and Brian Fleming owe their newest careers to Kevin’s dog, Beckett, a Tasmanian devil mix. That’s only a slight exaggeration. The Fleming brothers’ brush with fame — an appearance on ABC’s unscripted entrepreneurial show Shark Tank with their invention BagBowl — came about because Beckett couldn’t drink water from a Ziploc bag. “I was just trying to think of a way for my dog to drink water at the dog park,” Kevin explains during an interview with The Pitch at a Crossroads coffee shop. This is the latest leg of a mini, local publicity tour since the show’s October 5 airing. To quench Beckett’s thirst, Kevin made a ring out of gaffer tape and popsicle sticks. BagBowl was born. A few curious, latte-sipping customers sneak a peek as Kevin demonstrates BagBowl. He places a pink, flexible, plastic cylinder on a table, drops a Ziploc bag filled with uncooked beans in the middle, and rolls the top of the bag over the edges of the ring to create a bowl. The Flemings believe that their idea — giving structure to fl imsy bags — can take off like other almost unfathomably simple ideas, like Post-it Notes. “It should have been out there already,” Kevin says of his latest invention. A couple of years ago, Beckett was the inspiration for another of Kevin’s creations: a tool to clean mud from dogs’ paws. After licensing that product for retail, Kevin turned to his next creation. “I’m like, do I just want to be a one-hit wonder here or shake the Flock of Seagulls curse?” Kevin says. The Flemings’ second hit stands to be much bigger than the first. Brian, the more business-minded of the two, says he decided to go for Shark Tank after watching the show’s first three seasons, in which business owners and inventors present their products and ideas to five successful and wealthy businesspeople (the “sharks”) who then decide if they want to invest in the products. The program often features Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and FUBU clothing founder Daymond John as sharks. The Flemings applied last January but didn’t hear anything until May. The episode was shot in July. “It’s like winning the lottery to make it on the show,” Brian says. Shark Lori Greiner, an inventor with more than 100 patents who is a longtime staple of home-shopping channel QVC, bought a 33 percent share of the BagBowl company for $40,000. “She’s been absolutely a treat to talk to,” Brian says. “She’s a mentor right now.” The deal followed a trade-show success. In 2011, the Flemings took BagBowl (originally called Instabol) to the 2011 International Home & Housewares Show in Chicago, an annual convention of companies and inventors showing off their whisks and lamps and storage boxes. “We road-tripped up, set up a little 10-by-10foot booth and said, ‘What does the universe think of this?’ ” Kevin says. The universe — or, anyway, the housewares galaxy — fell for the BagBowl. The product took home a “Design Defined” award for its look and functionality. The Fleming brothers signed a deal with an infomercial producer to make a two-minute spot, but the product didn’t test well with viewers. While working in event marketing, Kevin came up with a strategy for BagBowl: Hook consumers within three seconds. “It’s got to be a haiku or a short song,” he says. So the brothers began selling the product on a website and looked for another chance to hit it big. Sales were slow. When they got the call from ABC in May, they were hopeful that might change. “We got a call from a screening producer, and, obviously, you always get the call when the kids are screaming in the background,” Kevin says. “I run outside real quick and turn on my charm and the ham.” The Flemings’ charm and ham won over Shark Tank’s show runners. The screening producer invited them to Los Angeles in early July for an American Idol–style audition that they had to pass to get a shot at the sharks. 6 pitch.com THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 The producers liked their elevator pitch and greenlighted them to present to the panel. Their on-air product pitch was a faultless, scripted lampoon of the worst late-night infomercials, with exaggerated oohs and ahs, high-fives and a cabinet overflowing with Tupperware lids that they promised would become obsolete, thanks to the BagBowl. The sharks laughed but seemed unimpressed with the initial pitch. Then they started with biting questions. “You go in there with this wide-eyed optimism,” Brian says. “Within the first 10 minutes, you’re a turtle on your back getting punched in the face.” “When one person would flounder, the other person would jump in and help him out,” Kevin says of their strategy. The Flemings stayed punchy and charismatic during the 45-minute grilling. (It was edited down to about eight minutes for TV.) “We were really drunk,” Kevin jokes. “No, we weren’t drunk,” Brian corrects. “We felt drunk, but we weren’t.” Brian got a little too cute with Cuban, a billionaire known for his occasional bouts of public rage. “Cubes, let me jump in there,” he said, hoping to win him over. The line was used in promos for the episode. “Just for calling me Cubes, I’m out,” Cuban replied. “My heart stopped beating during that period,” Kevin says. Two other sharks followed Cuban’s lead. Greiner told the brothers that she didn’t think the product was patentable (they have one pending), but she outbid fellow shark Robert Herjavec for a stake in the company. Greiner also agreed to give the Flemings $40,000 — the investment they were asking for, which is a rarity on the show. “I think it’s possible that we could do some really big numbers with this product,” Greiner told the Flemings on the show. Kevin hopped on Brian’s back for a victory piggyback ride as they walked away from the sharks. After the taping, the pair pitch.com BY BE N PA L O S A A R I Brian (left) and Kevin Fleming give the sharks their pitch for BagBowl (above). thought that they might have overdone their goofball act. “We were worried we came off as buffoons,” Brian says. “Yeah, the camera adds 10 pounds and 10 decibels of energy,” Kevin adds. While the brothers figure out how to begin their partnership with Greiner, the TV exposure (more than 6 million people watched) has caused a surge of interest and orders through buybagbowl.com. “We’ve depleted our inventory and [are] restocking that now,” Brian says. “The response has been overwhelming.” Now they’re focused on getting BagBowl into stores and brokering licensing agreements with manufacturers of foods that can be eaten out of the package, like snacks and microwave-rice pouches. “Imagine your bag of chips having these ribs built into it,” Brian says. They also wonder if international aid organizations could benefit from BagBowl in food distribution. In fact, as the Flemings play with their invention and discuss it at a coffee shop, it seems that there’s no limit to BagBowl’s potential uses. “Maybe we could build little stilts for kids out of BagBowls,” Kevin jokes, noting the strength of the ring. “Stilts for kids in developing countries that don’t have stilts,” Brian deadpans. The Flemings pack up their plastic rings. Kevin is off to another product show, this time to promote a children’s cup that he invented. It’s weighted on one side to reduce spilling when knocked over. Before going, he says they targeted Greiner with their pitch because of her career inventing things that make life easier. “She’s a model for me,” he says. “I’d like to be helping people in 20 years to keep this good-product karma going.” E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X THE PITCH 1 mo t Buy-Sell-Trade Boutique Shop e ic Works of ART by: Ken Ferguson, Lou Marak, Hoover Dotson, George Nelson Ball Clock, much more. lulu’s v TAG SALE The Estate of Dell Millin nsas cit Ka ycle s y er rc o Thursday, OCT. 25 ~ 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. Friday, OCT. 26 ~ 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, OCT. 27 ~ 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Welded Sculpture of Found Objects by Guinotte Wise 3523 Charlotte, KCMO www.SoulisEstateSales.com 6058 NW 63rd Terr., KC, MO (Northland) 816.741.PINK (7465) Cafe Racer 6017 Johnson Drive Mission, KS 913.362.CHIC (2442) Exceptional Motorcycle & Scooter Service When you are ready to learn to protect yourself and those you care about, She’s A Pistol, LLC is here to help! ™ 1/2 block North of Johnson Dr. Woman-owned personal protection and self-defense training, services and supplies company. 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(4.77") X 2" JL/ES ALL.SMS.1018.KCP Local SUPPORT KANSAS CITY pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 7 ————————————————— By Jonathan Bender | Photography by Brooke Vandever ————————————————— C lass hasn’t even started yet, and I’m already lost. I’m outside the American Royal exhibition hall in my midsize SUV, a vehicle that makes suburban women tip their curls to me in recognition. My car is out of place amid the recreational vehicles, dusty pickup trucks and smokers on trailers. I see two old men with cigarettes and Styrofoam cups of coffee in their hands. “Mornin’,” I say. I put the car in park and kill the engine. “Is this where you park?” “Well, you can park here if you’re competing,” one of the men tells me. I’m not on one of the record 545 teams competing in the 33rd annual American Royal World Series of Barbecue Open. I’m here to learn how to judge the contest — a skill that, at the American Royal, requires a four-hour certification class. “Are you two competing?” I ask. “We’re gonna try.” I think about the old men’s collective experience, and how it’s about to be at the mercy of my ignorance, as I head inside the exhibition hall. I pass a wall adorned with pictures of past prize-winning steers and hogs. The animals gaze at me with blank eyes. This entire place was built on livestock — showing, riding, smoking and eating it. I find the right conference room and join my 60 classmates. Each of us has paid $85 to learn from instructor Mike Lake. I’m here as an embedded reporter first and a barbecue eater a close second. (The Pitch covered the cost.) “Some of what you eat will be good,” he tells us as the day gets started. “Some will be very good. And some will be so-so. It all depends on how much time the team spent with Jack Daniel’s this weekend.” He wears a khaki, collared shirt embroidered with the Kansas City Barbeque Society logo. Two decades competing on the barbecue circuit have seasoned his voice Southern. He occasionally rubs the waxcurled ends of his white mustache while searching for the right word to say. Clicking through a PowerPoint presenta- 82 T TH H EE P P II T TC CH H pitch.com pitch.com O 1 8 - 2X4, , 220001X2 MCOTNOTBHE RX X–X tion, Lake refers often to the red books on our tables, copies of the official judging guide. The KCBS takes our task very seriously, in part because there’s serious money at stake. The society sponsors more than 400 contests annually nationwide and has around 18,000 certified judges active this year. The class seems to have lured meat devotees and rubberneckers alike. Joe and Lanee Duckert, an Iowa couple, tell me that they’ve started competing and they want to get inside the judges’ heads. They’re sitting next to John Allee, who lives north of the river and smokes meat on Sundays. He watched an episode of the TLC series BBQ Pitmasters and told his wife that he was ready to try judging. “My idea of barbecue is that if you bite into it, it runs down your chin and onto your shirt,” Allee says when I ask him to define good barbecue. It’s as good an answer as I’ll hear this weekend. Lake teaches us that much of what we think we know about good barbecue is wrong. Ribs that fall off the bone aren’t tender — they’re overcooked. Pork that is soft and buttery may taste good, but it’s overcooked. Pink might be the right color for chicken after all. “You have to judge what’s in the box,” Lake says, “not what you think should be in the box.” The class runs like clockwork, a reminder that competition barbecue is as much about timing as it is about seasoning. A team that fails to have its meat ready for the contest’s 10-minute turn-in window is better off staying home. Mock judging is set for noon. At 11:55, Lake tells the day’s volunteers to fetch the first judging boxes: white Styrofoam takeout containers full of meat. Oklahoma Joe’s has prepared samples of the four categories — chicken, ribs, pork and brisket — that we’re going to judge on Sunday. I’m out of the gate like an idiot, eating everything on my plate, which in KCBS competitions is a white place mat with six squares for six entries. Choice or habit, it won’t matter later, but I’ll remember this moment come Sunday night. The judging slip is like a miniature-golf scorecard, with a box for each team number (the judging is blind, conducted by number rather than name) and blank lines for the three judging criteria: appearance, taste (the most heavily weighted category) and texture. Each entry is scored from 2 (inedible) to 9 (excellent). The 1 is reserved for rule infractions, and a 10 doesn’t exist — here, anyway, there is no perfect barbecue. Lake has spent the morning identifying violations for us with PowerPoint slides, and now we’re trying to spot them. For example, garnish and sauce are optional in KCBS competitions, but a cook who opts for it (and Lake advises us that it’s hard to win without garnish) can use only approved greens such as iceberg lettuce, green leafy lettuce and cilantro. So when a box arrives with red-tipped leaf lettuce, it gets an automatic 1 for appearance. Infractions that result in an across-the-board 1 include sculpted meat (Lake has seen pork fashioned in the shape of the Texas Star), the wrong meat, a marked box, and foreign objects (foil, toothpicks). Lake quizzes his students, asking some how they’ve justified their scores. He’s look- ing for outliers. A woman who awarded a 5 in taste to both chicken entrants attracts his withering attention. “Do you like chicken, ma’am?” Lake asks. “I just thought it was dry,” she answers, her voice meek. Judging, I learn, is about conviction. J udges aren’t allowed to fraternize with teams on Sunday. Before then, though, the rule doesn’t apply. So Friday night, I hand $20 to a parking-lot attendant (who then directs me to park in a different lot, across Liberty Street), and my wife and I set about filling our plates at the tents of several acquaintances. A lesson that most learn the hard way at their first Royal: Teams aren’t obligated to let you try their barbecue; instead, it’s an offer that must be freely given, like the moral in some meatcentric fairy tale. After we eat, we walk through the expo space, where barbecue rubs and sauces are sold next to children’s clothing and adult tricycles (“mobility without the stigma” — the manufacturer’s tagline, not mine). She thumbs through a pile of sequined toddler shirts while I look at stainless-steel smokers with the hungry eyes I once reserved for flat-screen TVs. I leave the party close to 11 p.m., but it doesn’t leave me. Salt and chili powder form a ring under several of my fingernails. Barbecue sauce is tacky on the sleeve of my jacket. Even my pee seems to have the faint hint of smoke. Somehow, though, I’m still hungry for barbecue the next day. And I’m not alone. “Yo, you going to eat some barbecue?” asks the leader of four friends as we board a yellow school bus idling in front of Union Station. I felt that question to be rhetorical. It’s 9 p.m. Saturday night, and the shuttle to the American Royal is empty, save for our two groups. “Dude, I am going to eat the shit out of this place,” the kid tells his friends. “But how am I going to pick? It could be him or him.” He gestures at the teams working under their tents, their lots marked by hay bales and Port-a-Potties. I’m pretty sure he thinks my brother and I are on a date, so I don’t interject to tell him that he won’t be able to sample the compe- tition barbecue unless a team offers him a taste. The only barbecue for sale is from food vendors, and it’s generally not on a par with what’s being cooked in the surrounding lots. It’s calmer tonight. The 154 teams in the invitational, which spent the previous night cooking, are exhausted from preparation for Sunday’s open contest. And the other 400 teams are recuperating from Friday night’s parties. Judges who show up Sunday morning with beer on their breath are barred from registering. I made a solemn vow to forgo alcohol and meat in the 24 hours before the contest. So, naturally, I’m drinking the world’s coldest aluminum bottle of Budweiser as the temperature hovers around 40 degrees just five minutes after we step inside. My meatabstinence pledge is broken shortly thereafter. My brother and I head to the Burnt Finger BBQ tent, where one banner touts Bacon Explosion — the latticed bacon-and-sausage creation that has made team co-founder Jason Day famous — and the other has the team’s mascot: a cartoon pig made of fingerprint-like whirls. Day and his wife, Megan (the team’s unofficial public-relations continued on page 10 pitch.comM O N OT CT E R 1X8, -2204 0 , X 2 0 1 T2 H ET HP EI TPCIHT C 3H pitch.com H OXBX–X 9 The Longest Day continued from page 9 coordinator), are with two other team members, all of them huddled in camping chairs around a patio heat lamp. KCBS founding member Paul Kirk holds court. I let on that I’ll be judging in the morning. “Judges,” Kirk says, trailing off and shaking his head. He tells the story of the time that one of the worst briskets he ever cooked won the Jack Daniel’s Invitational. “The only thing worse than a Southern judge is a Yankee judge,” Kirk jokes. I tell him I was born in Connecticut. After a brief stop at the Ro Sham Bo tent, where the team is bundled up and watching Saturday Night Live with a pair of propanepowered heat lamps at their feet, we push on as the clock moves closer to midnight. Collegefootball broadcasts go unwatched, and tent flaps are held closed by string as teams try to sneak in a bit of sleep before the overnight fire watch. “What’s that?” asks my brother, pointing to a circular steel smoker the size and shape of a yoga ball. That is the Atom Bomb, and it’s just one of the custom steel smokers built by Big Bro’s Q. The handles are forged from horseshoes off a Texas ranch. Two generations of cooks from Texas and Abilene, Kansas, are pouring us a beer before we’ve even asked. The team is still laughing about the local TV reporter who asked to get shots of their trophies in the frame. Those trophies are for women’s golf and weightlifting, and their Goodwill price tags — 99 cents apiece — remain affixed. It’s a good-natured dig at the championship banners and trophies that dot other teams’ lots. And this team does like its good-natured digs. I’m on my second plate of ribs when I get a cold splash of reality to tone down the barbecue rub made with jalapeños. “I didn’t know a little guy could eat so much,” says one of our hosts. “Neither did I,” I tell him. I ’m headed to the American Royal for the fourth straight day Sunday when I glance over at the sign in front of the First Baptist Church Westside on Avenida Cesar E Chavez. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, it reads. 10 T H E P I T C H O C T O B E R 1 8 - 2 4 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com 4 T H E P I T C H M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X pitch.com Sausage entries ready to be scored and chicken ready to be boxed. Amen. Smoke rises gray and thick over the West Bottoms as I join the judges’ registration line, which wraps around the red-white-and-blue draping that closes off the judges’ area from the public. I meet Mike McQueen, 56, who ran an Iowa diesel-truck repair shop but is now eating his way through retirement. He and Mark Farr are swapping stories: Farr talks about the time he tasted nothing but lighter fluid in his box, and McQueen trumps him with the time a box of ribs contained nothing but hot dogs. A little after 10 a.m., the line begins to move. It’ll take the better part of 30 minutes for the 531 judges to be seated. Rows of folding tables are covered in red-and-white, ginghampatterned plastic tablecloths and lined with rolls of paper towels, pencils, sleeves of saltines and bottles of palate-cleansing water. Farr, McQueen and I are sharing a table with Gary, who judged the invitational yesterday; my fellow Thursday-class participant Bob; and Anissa, certified in March and judging for the eighth time this year. Black cowboy hats and metallic badges with judges’ names dot the room. Our table captain, Tom (who is responsible for collecting the judges’ slips, doling out the food, and ensuring that protocol is followed), passes out pins for participation. It feels, not uncomfortably, like the Boy Scouts. “Welcome to the 33rd annual World Series of Barbecue,” Lake says. My throat feels dry, and my head is vaguely pounding. Whether it’s from nerves or the previous few days’ barbecue intake doesn’t particularly matter. McQueen and Farr begin ripping off paper towels and folding them in half. I follow their lead, not exactly sure what we���ll be doing with them. Farr hands me a wet towel (he has brought three), like a server at a Japanese restaurant. It will prove invaluable for cleaning my sauce-stained hands. “Good morning, judges,” Lake says. “Today is your lucky day — you get sausages.” A collective whoop greets this news. I grimace as I do the math. There are six entries in each category, and now there’s a fifth category. Even with only a bite or two of each item, I stand to eat at least 30 ounces of meat today. After KCBS founding member Ardie Davis leads the judges in an oath (legend says he originally penned it on a spare piece of butcher paper in the dining room of Arthur Bryant’s on Brooklyn Avenue), Tom returns with a red tray loaded with six white takeout containers. He and the other table captains begin announcing the numbers written on the boxes, and for a moment, the room sounds like a bingo hall. No talking is allowed among the judges once the boxes arrive. Tom opens the clamshell packaging and lets each judge score the chicken on appearance before the containers Meat burps arrive with the pork boxes. are passed around. When my plate is full, I Pulled pork, chopped pork — it all disappears begin to assess each breast and thigh for taste into me, the pig at my table. My plate is shiny and texture. and red with sauce and fat drippings, like Good entries, against the odds, still make my arteries. you want to eat more. Bad entries make you The brisket is next, and my right foot has question everything you’ve eaten so far. The fallen asleep. Thick slices are stacked inside side of my right palm is soon sticky with sauce, which I inadvertently wipe on my judge’s slip, gentle beds of greens, with six chunks of burnt ends sitting at the bottom like a footboard. I plate and jeans. After I turn in my first judghear a huge cheer from outing slip, Tom hands it back side the draping, followed to me. I panic, but he only “Good morning, judges. by the brief honk of what wants me to make a 6 a little sounds like an air horn. clearer. Penmanship wins Today is your lucky day — Teams are congratulating a championships, people. fellow competitor who has Lake had told my class managed to get his entry in that every new judge’s fajust under the wire. vorite category is ribs, and The sausage arrives, but the ones I get are glazed it doesn’t seem like a bonus. beautifully. Many are shiny The boxes have a sad weight crimson, with a pleasing as I lift and pass them. The heft when I lift them out of first is a pile of dark-maroon whole sausages, the box. But the third entry is too sweet, the and they’re difficult to break through with my fourth falls apart in my hands, and the fifth has an off-putting metallic finish. Suddenly, teeth. I’m glad the scores don’t count toward I’m finding it hard not to compare them with awarding the grand champion title. Close to 2 pounds and a little more than two ribs I’ve eaten outside the contest. I remember hours after I took my first bite, I carry my blue Lake’s mantra — it’s about what’s in the box — but my impulse is to downgrade some things chair to the hard-packed earth floor in Hale Arena so it can be added to the audience seating for failing to live up to expectation. you get sausages.” A table captain presents entries (left), and Shiggin & Grinnin is named Grand Champion. when the winners are announced. My fellow judges carry Igloo coolers and Ziploc bags filled with leftovers. To the critics go the spoils. The competitors arrive in another hour, each hoping to be called to the makeshift dais. But I’ve seen enough carnage for one day. I walk outside, where roadies are breaking down stages and audio equipment. The circus is leaving. Dogs loll in the shadow of RVs. Cheeseburgers have replaced the more expensive meats on smokers. Charcoal ash smolders in Deffenbaugh trash bins. I just need to keep everything down, and walking seems to help. I wander farther into the parking lot, where I parked on Thursday, so long ago. A video crew, one of three shooting the American Royal for television, is getting close-up shots of the judges for BBQ Pitmasters. “That’s Myron Mixon,” a 20-something tells his dad as they lean up against the fence and watch the show being staged. “He’s a judge.” I barely resist the urge to sidle up alongside the two and tell the kid that he could be a judge, too. E-mail email@example.com We have all seen the meat section at the grocery store. How did it get from the farm to your table? We want to show you. www.jocolibrary.org/booksandbutchers www.jocolibrary.org/staffpicks pitch.com TO 8 - 2X 4 ,, 2 20 00 1 2X pitch.com OMC O NB T EHRX1X–X TTHHEE PPII TT CC HH 11 5 12 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com WEEK OF OCTOBER 18-24 | BY BERRY ANDERSON 17 PAG E ES WE D N DAY 10.24 STAGE ingl wedd Typica tters night ji Maria callous? A diva at Spinning Tree. 19 PAG E ART Minister of Information: a bipartisan-attack exhibit. 30 PAG E MUSIC FORECAST THEY’RE ALIVE! ALIVE! At 7 p.m., Fathom Events, Turner Classic Movies and Universal present a double feature of Frankenstein (1931) and The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), both from restored prints. But the best part of the program might be the interviews broadcast beforehand, in which Sara Karloff, Bela Lugosi Jr. and Oscar-winning makeup artist Rick Baker talk about classic horror films and how today’s flicks measure up. See fathomevents.com for locations and tickets. Dr. John is no laughing matter. Nastia Liukin T H U R S D AY | 10 . 18 | THEY’LL TUMBLE FOR YA At press time, it was unclear exactly which members of the all-around, gold-winning U.S. Olympic women’s gymnastics team would appear in the Tour of Gymnastics Champions 2012 at the Sprint Center (1407 Grand, 816-949-7000). After unfortunate E MOR uneven-bar routines, McKayla Maroney and Aly Raisman are defiT A E IN nitely out. But the star ONL .COM PITCH is obvious enough: fairhaired beauty and 2008 all-around champ Nastia Liukin. Also look for lesser-known but equally hardworking members of the men’s rhythmic and acrobatic gymnastics teams. Tickets cost $36.50–$202; see sprintcenter.com. continued on page 14 EVENTS F R I D AY | 10 . 1 9 | LOPEZ TONIGHT I n the America where George Lopez lives, there’s plenty of comedy found in contrasting Caucasian and Latino stereotypes. Clueless white folks, fat Mexicans, indecipherable Hispanic fast-food workers, and racist Republicans populate the comedian-cum-philanthropist’s stand-up. He takes the stage at 8 p.m. at the Midland (1228 Main, 816-283-9921), where tickets start at $40.50; see midlandkc.com. pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 13 continued from page 13 F R I D AY | 10 . 19 | FRIDAY OK, BE AFRAID OF ART 10.19 Blood, bones, pale skin — these are among the ingredients making up the Dark Art Show. Artist and exhibition organizer V Holocek, who has Halloween in mind pretty much year-round, tells us: “The best reason for anyone to come is to experience something completely outside of the normal art circuits during the most appropriate time of year for us to get away with it.” Tonight’s free opening reception features the horror photography of Joshua Hoffine, the visceral abstract paintings of Charles David Werner, the edgy pieces of Evil Pawn Jewelry, and Holocek’s own surreal illustrations. It’s in the Seymour Art Space (4301 Main, on the second floor), beginning at 8:30 p.m. Costume or masquerade attire isn’t required, but come on. at art you th We told fe. li s te imita S AT U R D AY |10 . 2 0 | SHOT CALLERS CON S SSE CDCERT A P s DTICK VIE EL VDETS MO PAR s AP JOIN FOR A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING! Can you hit up every entertainment district in the city in one night, have a drink at each, drive yourself all evening and make it home safely? We’ve tried and we can tell you definitively: no. That’s why we like riding the KC Strip Trolley. Yes, we know — it has The Pitch’s logo painted on the front. Bias aside, we can tell you that it’s not a vehicle for drunken mayhem and foolishness. For example, the Kansas City Strip Shot Shuffle, beginning at 7 p.m., benefits Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City. After paying the stan- S AT U R D AY | 10 . 2 0 | dard $10 wristband fee, give a donation of any size to a BBBS representative on the route’s “shot card,” which gives access to dollar shots for raffle tickets at participating bars. Prizes up for grabs include Chiefs tickets, a Bud Light mini fridge, and gift cards at each venue. At midnight, the crawl wraps up at the Blue Line (529 Walnut, 816-472-7825), where the last drawing snags the winner an iPad 2. It’s like triple-tasking: drinking, donating and winning! See kctrolleytours.com for details. WHEN THE WHIP COMES DOWN cutline here LIFESTYLES OF THE HISTORIC AND NORTHEAST R FOR YOUR CHANCE TO RECEIVE A PASS FOR TWO, LOG ON TO WWW.GOFOBO.COM/RSVP AND USE THE FOLLOWING CODE: PITCHDJR9 Flight has been rated R for drug and alcohol abuse, language, sexuality/nudity and an intense action sequence. Please note: Arrive early! Seating is first-come, first-served, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. Theatre is not responsible for overbooking. Seating is not guaranteed. Paramount.com/Flight ediscover all six of KC’s Northeast neighborhoods — Pendleton Heights, Scarritt-Renaissance, Indian Mound, Independence Plaza, Lykins and Sheffield — when the Northeast KC Historical Society sponsors its Fall Homes Tour. From noon to 5 p.m., the first floors of seven homes stand open to show off the area’s beautiful Queen Anne, vernacular Arts and Crafts, Italianate, Craftsman and bungalow styles. Tickets cost $15; buy them and preview the tour at nekchs.com. — N ADIA I MAFIDON IN THEATRES FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2! 14 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 kansas city pitch thursday, october 18 pitch.com Sara “Miss Conception” Glass expects the Art of Tease to expand the usual performance boundaries by incorporating poetry, dance, burlesque, circus acts and comedy. “We are trying to think outside of the box as far as a show or event goes, and see what we can play with to stimulate the audience’s senses,” she tells us. Teasing, she reminds us, isn’t about taking clothes off but — at least tonight — about making the audience smile at whimsical costumes. “The point of this show is to create an atmosphere where the audience and performers are interacting constantly,” Glass says. See it at 10 at the Uptown Arts Bar (3611 Broadway, 816-960-4611). Wear your finest circus attire and get $2 off the $5 cover. S U N D AY | 10 . 21 | CAR TALK The National Association of Stock Car Racing wants you to remember that NASCAR is foremost a sport — so the driving-around-incircles part is just the mustard on the wiener at this weekend’s Kansas Lottery 300 and Hollywood Casino 400. Head to the Kansas Speedway (400 Speedway Boulevard, Kansas City, Kansas) for concerts, meet-and-greets, tailgating and more. Events geared up Wednesday, October 17; today is the last of it. Gates open at 6 a.m. See kansasspeedway.com or call 866-460-7223 or for a full schedule and tickets. M O N D AY | 10 . 2 2 | GEEKIEST. TRIVIA. EVER. Who was the voice of Moe’s bar rag in the 12th episode of the 23rd season of The Simpsons? Which branch of the military was Otto the bus driver’s father in, and what was his rank? Patty and Selma — which one is gay and which one is older? All of these questions are fair game at Geeks Who Drink’s All-Simpsons Trivia Night. This evening’s contest is in honor of the animated series’ annual “Treehouse of Horror” episode, but expect the questions to cover all aspects of the show. There’s a $5 buy-in, and MORE the winning team has been known to make a AT fairly good three-figure INE L N O M haul. No more than six PITCH.CO to a team for this 8 p.m. contest. It’s at Granite City in Zona Rosa (8461 Northwest Prairie View Road, 816-587-3838). Look for Kansas City Geeks Who Drink on Facebook for more information. (Answers: Jeremy Irons; Navy and admiral; Selma and Patty, respectively.) EVENTS ROCKY III That October 3 debate was a doozy. Smooth talking! Frowns! Big Bird! Before this year’s race goes off the chain, reel yourself in and make a date with the International Relations Council at the Beacon (5031 Main, 816-960-4646). For tonight’s presidential debate (on foreign policy), the group puts on an open-to-the-public watch party. “Missouri exported more than $14 million in goods in 2011. Kansas exported more than $11.5 million,” says Linda Trout, executive director of the IRC. So, yeah, we’re invested in this, people. Opinions start flying at 8 p.m. And, yes, there’s a cash bar, and you’re probably going to need it. Please RSVP at irckc.org or by calling 816-221-4204. AY TUESD 10.23 Paulite Pre-Ru C es in K beauti T U E S D AY | 10 . 2 3 | TOTALLY NOT A DRAG “I think now is a high point in the history of drag,” says Stuart Hinds, director of special collections at UMKC’s Miller Nichols Library. Hence his lecture, titled “From Blackface to Toilet Paper Rolls: The Surprising History of Female Impersonation in Kansas City.” Expect him to discuss the rich past of local drag queens, their stamping grounds (past and present) and where the scene is now. Part of the Kansas City Museum’s Community Curator Speaker Series, the 6:30 p.m. talk is at Union Station (30 West Pershing Road, 816-460-2020) in the Town Hall meeting room on Level B, and admission is free. Hinds answered a few questions from us last week. The Pitch: Where were some of the hot spots for female impersonation in KC? Hinds: This depends on what time period you’re talking about. Early 20th-century impersonators typically performed in theatrical productions, and both the Shubert [at the northwest corner of 10th Street and Baltimore] and the Orpheum [1220 Baltimore] were regular venues for these shows. During the Pendergast era, clubs in the 18th and Vine District, as well as on 12th Street, regularly featured drag shows, the most notorious being Dante’s Inferno, located at 1104 Independence Avenue. Post–World War II, the Jewel Box, at 3219–23 Troost, was known nationally as the place to see amazing “femme mimics.” After the Stonewall uprising, in 1969, gay bars proliferated in Kansas City — clubs like the Arabian Nights, known colloquially as “the Tent,” on the west side of Gillham, about a block south of Linwood; Cabaret, also known for a period as Pegasus; and Starz on Broadway. These were the most popular venues for drag shows in the ’80s and ’90s. After this period is when Missie B’s and Sidekicks rose to prominence. Who were popular performers? Again, depends on your time period. Early 20th century saw nationally known performers visit the city, and there are references to a jazz-era queen who was known as the “Sepia Mae West.” Standouts at the Jewel Box included Skip Arnold, GiGi Allen and the infamous Rae Bourbon, and toward the end of the life of the club, in the early 1970s, Tommy Temple, Ray Rondell and Sandy Kay (who still performs at Missie B’s). Melinda Ryder, whose collection is the basis of my lecture and the motivation for my research, has been performing in the Kansas City area for nearly four decades. W E D N E S D AY | 10 . 2 4 | HEAT WAVE Last season, the NBA’s labor dispute canceled LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat’s triumphant return to Kansas City. Nearly a year later, the Heatles have a date tonight with the Sprint Center. At 7:30, the defending NBA champions play preseason ball with the retooled Washington Wizards, led by rookie Bradley Beal. Get tickets ($30–$90, plus tax and fees) at sprintcenter.com. And if you want to party with Bron-Bron and D-Wade, the VooDoo Lounge (1 Riverboat Drive, North Kansas City) holds a celebrity VIP event with the ballers at 9 p.m. Tuesday, October 23. Tickets start at $50, and you gotta be at least 21 to get in. Buy them at ticketmaster.com or by calling 816-808-3519. E-mail submissions to Filter editor Berry Anderson at firstname.lastname@example.org. Search our complete listings guide online at pitch.com. pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 15 Spirituals to Funk Dr. John and The Blind Boys of Alabama 7 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 21 www.jccc.edu/TheSeries | 913-469-4445 Buy now! Performing Arts Series Johnson County Community College | NO ONLINE FEES | FREE PARKING 4.776x5.29dr.john 4.776x5.29buckingham.indd 16 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com star S TA G E WHAT A DIVA Spinning Tree’s Master Class BY and the KC Ballet: A for art. D E BO R A H HIRS CH Above: Stoner (foreground) and Hyer feeling the music. At right: Carr (left) and Pachciarz “In the Tavern.” she mentally leaves the room, changes in hue show different parts of her past, underscoring reveries that reveal as much about this woman as do her interactions with the students. Sylvia Stoner, also with considerable talent and opera chops, is the last soprano to bear Callas’ searing analysis. (Even the singers’ entrances undergo critique.) Yet Callas is also taken by her ability, and this time the encounter looses one of her longer recollections (aided, not for the only time here, by recordings of Callas that elicit chills). Everything she sacrificed, she says, has been for her art, achieved through “technique, discipline, courage.” As she admonishes her charges to pursue their own technique and discipline and courage, she seems oblivious to the love remaining right in her midst. McNally’s play uncovers Callas at a sad point in her life, her too-short career behind her and a much-publicized love affair with Aristotle Onassis in ruins. Yet these depressing facts are eclipsed by this play’s intelligence and wit — and depth of feeling. All of this is brought to music-studio life at Spinning Tree, where we get a peek inside the soul of an artist. Because it’s all about the art. Everything for the art. CIRCLE OF LIGHT T he Kansas City Ballet’s fall program offers another art-as-life lesson, one that feels both personal and epic. Opening night, it also felt more like spring than something designed for autumn, a welcome respite from fluctuating temperatures and political fortunes. The dancers found the beat in Franz Joseph Haydn’s music, moving fleetly to the evening’s appropriately titled first number, “Mercury.” Here, the melody and choreography (by Lynne Taylor-Corbett) are fluid and flirty, uplifting and lovely. The piece’s movements pass in a rainbow of blue, orange-red, purple and yel- STEVE WILSON aria Callas, the legendary and controversial singer, lived for her art. In opera she found — and conveyed to her audiences — the vast rewards to head and heart that masterful drama delivers. The Callas we meet in Terrence McNally’s Master Class, now at Spinning Tree Theatre, is both an exponent of that passion and a victim of it. McNally’s expertly written 1995 work is based on a series of tutorials that Callas taught at New York’s Juilliard School over several months in 1971 and 1972. Her career was in decline by then, her voice lost, yet she was no less demanding — of others, of the spotlight. Directed here by Michael Grayman, Cynthia Hyer is a commanding yet vulnerable Callas, past her prime but still self-obsessed. She’s jealous of “colleagues,” preoccupied with the past — its hardships and pain as well as its triumphs. Standing before her students, she is no longer in pre- and postwar Europe, in poverty and wanting for an orange, or performing for Nazis in Greece. She’s not the ugly, fat Greek girl anymore. Whether these young people idolize Callas, all are eager to learn from her, the great la Divina. She’s a hard one, tough on them, expecting as much of them as she did of herself. Maybe more. Her outsized ego won’t let her recall the name of the class’s accompanist. Manny (played by Music Director Tony Bernal) and Callas have worked together just the day before, yet she remembers only what he wore. Her eyes are as trained for the theatrical as her ears, after all. So she’s also annoyed with us, the audience (whom she addresses as her class). She points to us and complains: “You need a look. You don’t have a look.” She’s tough but funny — very funny. Her first student, Sophie, isn’t amused. Callas doesn’t even approve of her name (which Callas thinks is inappropriate for an opera artist), and the bright-eyed, somewhat clueless young soprano lacks the skill and discipline that Callas expects. She tries to measure up but withers under Callas’ scrutiny, her repeated interruptions as she tries to sing. (Actress and writer Natalie Liccardello, playing Sophie, reveals yet another talent: singing.) “Feel!” Callas repeats while berating her for her dress, for not being prepared, for not having a pencil. (I wanted to lend her mine.) “Feel!” Poor Sophie, trying a difficult aria, can’t get past a starting O. And Tony doesn’t get a whole lot further when it’s his turn next to the piano, though he manages several lyrics before Callas shuts him down. But he’s thrilled that he made it that far and can barely contain his enthusiasm. The ambitious Tony (given a very funny and skillfully sung portrayal by Vigthor Zophoniasson) blurts his admiration for Mario Lanza and belts out a melody. Callas is moved by this tenor. The moment reminds her of something — or someone — else. McNally’s Callas often loses herself in memory. In Spinning Tree’s staging, Paul Tilson’s lighting design sets off the star’s soliloquies. As MANON HALLIBURTON M low, each of the five characterized by different- medieval monks, around a single dancer. Friday this was Logan Pachciarz, bathed colored costumes, all bright and light. Against a blue background on a bare stage, in a circle of bright light at center stage yet confined by the light’s boundaries. Behind these dancers could be gliding on ice, competthem is the wheel of fortune, spinning and ing in skating doubles with acrobatic, aerial determining fate. lifts and spins, all in sync. A short departure But “Carmina Burana,” while beginning from this unison, during Friday’s first moin sepia with resonance and ments, was quickly remedrama, isn’t bleak and pondied. In a slower-paced pas Master Class derous. Rather, it’s mostly de deux, the purple-clad Through October 28 festive and pleasing in its Molly Wagner and Michael at Spinning Tree Theatre, examination of how we Davis stood out. in Off Center Theatre at cope by finding joy and love After a brief pause, the Crown Center, 2450 Grand, inside the harder things. starlit background and dark816-842-9999, With music by Carl Orff ened stage (Kirk Bookman spinningtreetheatre.com and delicate choreography designed lighting for the enby Toni Pimble, this ballet tire program) drew audible Carmina Burana is divided into five main ahs. Rather than the Kansas The Kansas City Ballet, sections. It again plants us City Symphony, cellist Susie through October 21 in springtime, where youth Yang and pianist Ramona at Kauffman Center for and innocence and romance Pansegrau (also the KC the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, prevail. Still in simple setBallet’s music director) 816-931-2232, kcballet.org tings, costumes and lightshared the stage with two ing bring color and texture dancers, Angelina Sansone to the stage. In addition to and Geoffrey Kropp, who the choruses, soloists Sarah Tannehill, Casey performed an intricate and tightly woven Finnigan and Chris Carr contribute to the pas de deux. In Ben Stevenson’s choreogramusic’s richness and the affecting elements. phy, set to music by Sergei Rachmaninoff, the It’s sung in Latin, and translations are in two figures often clung to each other. In their the program, but we don’t need them. We get physical pull, they showed us that they could the drift. In a section titled “In the Tavern,” not live without each other. The broader, bigger “Carmina Burana” Jill Marlow is a swan dangling and turning comprises the program’s second half, domi- on a spit, in an agile performance. Then, in “Court of Love,” the set later turns lush, with nating the Muriel Kauffman Theatre with its takeover of audience boxes on each side of long white drapes, like a tropical royal palace of old, surrounding women in white, flowthe stage to make room for the Kansas City Symphony Chorus and the Ladies of Liberty ing dresses. When the men come to court, the white is partly bathed in color, and the High School Women’s Honor Choir & Concert Choir. Surrounding the “Carmina Burana” dance of life proceeds, like the wheel that keeps turning. In the end, though, it’s just cast of dancers, members of the Symphony Chorus were staged, in costume, as part of the chorus and a lone Pachciarz, in his small circle of light, bound by its edges, by the the scene. human condition. The grander-scaled, surround-sound piece begins in darker environs, the Symphony Chorus at first dressed in brown robes, like E-mail email@example.com pitch.com 8 - 2 4X, , 2200102X TTHHEE PPI ITTCCHH 17 pitch.com O C MTOONBTEHR X1 X–X 1 n i k g c ht u b SUNDAY: MISSION 8pm to Midnight OLATHE 8pm to 11pm missionbowl.com $1.00 per game $1.00 per shoes $1.00 10oz Rolling Rock or PBR Draft Beer $1.00 food specials at Strike Zone Grill 5399 MARTWAY MISSION, KS 913.432.7000 1020 S. WEAVER ST. OLATHE, KS 913.782.0279 6000 College Boulevard Overland Park, KS $1,299.95 10:00AM-4:00PM Largest and Most Popular Bridal Show! 14 Bridal Gowns Over 180 KC Wedding Experts 6 Groom’s Rings, Zoom! Professional Teeth Whitening, and $3000 in PWG Bucks to spend with wedding experts at the show! st e fir e of th ll hav One ides wi ucks r B B 100 00 PWG their $5 den in at hid ide bag n! br tratio s regi For bogo tickets register here! KC.PWG.COM 18 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com CriCk Camera Shop 7715 State Line Rd • 816.444.3390 www.crickcamera.com ART POLI SIGH M.O.I. says We Might Be Wrong, but Don Wilkison is probably right. BY THER E S A B EMBNI S T E R S eventy-two grinning Barack Obamas greet visitors to We Might Be Wrong: Exploring Our Know-it-all Culture. Paper cutouts from the Shepard Fairey “VOTE” print, the 2008 presidential election’s defining graphic, occupy the wall across from the Leedy-Voulkos entrance, sharing space with V for Vendetta Guy Fawkes masks and Coke bottles with altered labels. Above the two long, horizontal shelves holding these objects hang the blue letters of a Wal-Mart sign, reconfigured to spell “WAR ATM.” (The outcast L hangs by itself on the opposite wall.) Conflating political and advertising imagery and arranging it repetitively, in ways that further load it, is the basic strategy employed by Don Wilkison, an environmental scientist who makes art under the pseudonym Minister of Information (M.O.I. for short). He appropriates the aggressive visual language of corporate and campaign America to address the country’s most divisive subjects: religion, guns, professional sports, Sarah Palin. This is M.O.I.’s first gallery exhibition, though he has been making work since 1997. Until now, his efforts have consisted primarily of mail art or public actions. Prominent among these has been “A Tree for Roxy Paine,” for which he planted a tree on the grounds of the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art near “Ferment,” Roxy Paine’s tree-shaped metal sculpture. (Wilkison’s arboreal statement grew unnoticed for months until it was uprooted by the museum.) We Might Be Wrong takes a similarly subversive tack but aims at a wider target. He has chosen images that already speak at high volume and has distorted them through amplification and overuse, emptying them of their original rhetoric. There are reverberations of the overthe-top jingoism deployed satirically on The Colbert Report in M.O.I.’s “Always Be Selling,” a sculpture into which he has crammed just about every emotionally charged object he could think of. The altarlike assemblage features a Bible and a Quran side by side, each left open to display the same story, along with a bomb-shaped smiley face and diagrams of airplanes. Posters bearing slogans — “yes we can,” COURTESY OF M.O.I. COURTESY OF M.O.I. Offer expires October 29, 2012. Discounted item must be of equal or lesser value. cos? Ta Tired of From left: “The Vendetta of Hope,” “Wallmart [sic] redux” and “Keylen” (detail) “pray,” “mercy” — hang below, next to images of the Paseo Academy students recruited of raised fists and the Statue of Liberty. The to assist his “We Are Here to Plant a Tree” piece suggests a Dumpster-diving expedition undertaken just after a Fourth of July parade. project. There’s no text in the gallery to exIf you’re already tired of this noisy elec- plain “We Are Here,” and the checklist is tion year, We Might Be Wrong isn’t going to inelegant: “Works 28-33 from the project: ease your suffering. But the M.O.I. aesthetic We Are Here to Plant a Tree.” (Sale proceeds benefit Green Works in KC alumni program, isn’t designed to let you off easy — even if, a 501(c)3 sustainability program for urban at first look, it’s hard to determine whether youth.) There’s more to it, though — WilkiWilkison’s goal is to encourage serious conson and his “sustainability assistants,” as he templation or merely to irk. (To an impressive calls his collaborators, have set out to plant degree, he manages both.) trees next month as a form of public art. It’s clear, however, that making beautiful Another outdoor M.O.I. performance of or well-crafted objects is not his intent. He’d recent vintage found new expression here rather spur conversation. “For a lot of political issues, we can’t really opening night. Erin Olm-Shipman of Bread KC, a micro-granting organization that raises discuss them in any kind of meaningful way funds for local artists through dinners, was anymore,” Wilkison tells The Pitch. “Why selling pieces of white toast inscribed “U$A” in aren’t these kinds of discussions taking place edible red and blue food coloring. It was a callon our local news stations? My hope is that back to “Git ur all-star mitt here!” — Wilkison’s people will talk.” July bid to hawk pieces of patriotic toast (with In that hopeful, bipartisan spirit, he has devoted one corner of the exhibition to work by peanut butter and honey) on the street during the festivities surrounding Major League his daughter, Sarah Star Wilkison. She contribBaseball’s All-Star Game. (Proceeds from the utes a simple yet powerful installation and persale of his patriotic toast are formance titled “Remember funneled back to the comthe Ladies.” Hand-lettered We Might Be Wrong: munity through Bread KC.) protest signs — demanding, Exploring Our The artist, it turns out, is among other things, “Equal Know-it-all Culture a baseball fan, one acutely Pay for Equal Work” — rest Through December 1 at concerned with the way against the wall. They feel Leedy-Voulkos Art Center, 2012 Baltimore, 816-474-1919, that corporations overrun as current as anything else leedy-voulkos.com cultural events with heavy in the gallery, but the mescommercial promotion. “As sages date from 1776 to 1959. a citizen, how can I interOn opening night, performvene?” Wilkison says. ers dressed in costumes reflecting each sign’s historical era stood and held them up. The conThat goes for MLB as well as for the GOP trast of words and costuming offered a jolting — the “mitt” in the title refers not just to the reminder of how much progress remains to be fielder’s glove but also to the Republican presimade in the struggle for equality. dential candidate. As the artist puts it: “Mitt By design, We Might Be Wrong feels over- Romney is as boring as a piece of white toast.” stuffed, sometimes almost oppressively so. With We Might Be Wrong, Wilkison looks at The walls are full, and more than a dozen how the toast gets made, adopting the aesthetic sculptures take up floor space. But the show’s tactics of corporate and political brands and maximal qualities help underscore something subverting them through outsized mimicry. apparent from the environmental scientist’s At its assertive best, the exhibition singes the nongallery art: He’s not really an indoor guy. toast just right. 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EVERY FRIDAY MEXICAN BUFFET FOR ONLY $7.99 FROM 4-9PM Now taking advance Tamale orders for holiday parties! 1667 SUMMIT KCMO 816-471-0450 CAFÉ RESTAURANT: POSSIBLE Poco’s braces for life after its cable close-up. BY CHARLES FERRUZZA Poco’s on the Boulevard • 3063 Southwest Boulevard, 816-931-2526 • Hours: 10 a.m.–10 p.m. Monday–Friday, 7 a.m.–10 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Sunday • Price: $–$$ P opular chef and restaurateur Lorenza “Poco” Gutierrez died just five months ago, after a long battle with cancer. Her namesake restaurant, however, has been given a second life. Some of the renewed interest in the fiveyear-old Poco’s on the Boulevard is doubtless due to the dramatic makeover given to both the building and the menu by British chef and cable star Robert Irvine and his Restaurant: Impossible team. The Food Network hit series descended upon Poco’s on the Boulevard in August for an episode set to air November 21. There’s no denying that the TV crew brightened up the place’s dingy interior (and slashed the menu). Bubbly, personable Poco would have loved what Restaurant: Impossible did to her dull dining room. Certainly she must have stopped loving the interior as it was, a décor E R MO that hadn’t been altered much since its beginAT nings as a Waid’s diner E N I ONL .COM in the 1960s. The walls PITCH were painted a muddy earth tone (that’s how I remember them, anyway), the carpeting was ugly, and the room always seemed as dark as a cavern — day or night. The inside is now painted a vivid chartreuse, with accents of white: sheer curtains, a bold painted stripe intersecting with the picture windows, and white shadow boxes filled with bits and pieces of Mexicana (glazed tiles, baskets, mirrors). There’s a shiny wood floor, too, and new red-painted chairs. Irvine’s handiwork can only help Poco’s. Since their mother’s death, Claudia Endicott and Dana Gutierrez have been the siblings among Gutierrez’s five children interested in continuing the business. “It’s been very hard keeping the restaurant going,” Endicott says. “The makeover helped.” Irvine’s scrambling, however, seems not to have involved changes to the huevos con chorizo or anything else on the breakfast menu. The dinner menu, on the other hand, ended up being combined with the lunch menu, with about a third of the original offerings 86’d for good. Or so Irvine thinks. It’s not unusual, according to a July New York Times article, for restaurateurs who have experienced the Restaurant: Impossible magic to resurrect popular dishes after Irvine and company leave town. And sure enough, within weeks of the Poco’s redo, Endicott had restored nearly a dozen dishes, including the “grande” burrito and the Mayan tacos. “Our customers wanted them,” she says. “And this is a business.” Believe me, I understand. On my first visit to the redesigned Poco’s, none of the four friends I took along gave a second ANGELA C. BOND CAFÉ of Lorenza Gutierrez. Sometimes, though, glance to Irvine’s fancy dishes. I could pracit’s hard to tell where one leaves off and the tically hear the famous chef demand that we consider his tequila-tomatillo salmon, other begins. The roasted chicken, covered with a dark, bittersweet mole, is excellent, his chili-marinated skirt steak. But our eyes but Endicott insists that it’s her mother’s dish, were immediately drawn to the familiar: not Irvine’s. And while the menu says the tacos, enchiladas, chile rellenos. Anyone lamb shanks — added by Irvine — are braised who has worked in a restaurant for more with chili adobo sauce and chimichurri, there than a minute knows why: Give customers wasn’t a drop of chimichurri (olive oil, vinwhat they want or they won’t be back. Irvine egar, oregano, onion and garlic) within miles may cringe at the idea of a fluff y taco, but of the plate I got. The meat I received was it’s a best-seller at Poco’s. slathered with a tasty salsa verde. It was also So call this a period of adjustment for Poco’s beautiful and fork-tender, though it came with on the Boulevard. Not all of Irvine’s culinary enough black beans to feed a creativity has been warmly family of eight. received by the Poco’s reguPoco’s on the Poco’s doesn’t have a lot lars. That includes me. One Boulevard for vegetarians: veggie taof my favorite dishes in the Plantain chips males, spinach or cheese enLorenza Gutierrez repertoire and guacamole...................$8 chiladas, and a chile relleno. was her grilled pork tenderBraised mole chicken.........$10 But most of those offerings loin, dappled with a tomaBraised lamb shanks ..........$16 are served with rice that’s tillo salsa and compote of Grande burrito.....................$10 cooked with chicken stock sweet dried cherries. That’s Cherry pork tenderloin ......$12 Margarita cake.....................$6 or refried beans made with still on the menu, but the Crème brûlée ........................$6 lard. The guacamole is meatfirm polenta cake has been free, of course, but its addreplaced with a puddle of on ingredients tend to vary. creamy corn polenta that On my first visit, I marveled at the simplicity shares its consistency with Cream of Wheat — and is just as bland. “We’re thinking of of the mashed avocado — no competing cilanbringing back the old polenta,” Endicott told tro, no salsa, no lemon juice. But the second time I ordered it, all of those components me with a sigh. Still, I say this new Poco’s is the best of both were evident (and then some), and it had been whipped to the thickness of a milkshake. (The worlds: Restaurant: Impossible meets the spirit At Poco’s, Gutierrez’s dishes meet Irvine’s. translucent, tissue-thin plantain chips served with it, however, were a nice touch.) I can’t say whether it was Irvine or Endicott who had the bright idea of offering both a dense caramel flan and a smooth crème brûlée on the dessert list, but I approve. But perhaps no one should take credit for the margarita cake. “Are you sure there’s no liquor in this?” I asked the server. He dashed back to the kitchen and returned with a big grin: “We put tequila and Grand Marnier on it,” he said. Endicott insists that the only alcohol is in the batter, where it can bake out. “It all evaporates in the oven,” she told me later. “But the flavor is still pretty strong.” Very strong. I pushed the pastry away after a bite. A piece of cake isn’t worth risking a DUI. It’s Poco’s that is running the greater risk, though. Operating a restaurant, especially in this economy, is anything but a piece of cake, even with national exposure from a highly rated reality show. “We’re much busier than we were before Restaurant: Impossible made over the restaurant,” Endicott told me. “But after all the publicity dies down, it’s still up to us.” Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review? E-mail email@example.com pitch.com C TOONBTEHR X1 X–X 8 - 2 4X,, 2200102X TTHHEE PPI ITTCCHH 21 pitch.com O M 1 Special Advertising Section BLACK AND ORANGE BASH www.CAPA.com Come Support the Child Abuse Prevention Association in a Night of Boulevard Brews, Banter and Beguilement! Relive the 80’s with a live performance by the Blue Oyster Culture Club, enjoy an appetizer buffet, bottomless sodas and Boulevard beer. Be sure to register for CAPA’s Costume Contest and start collecting pledges now for the chance to win top notch prizes. Become a hero by preventing child abuse in Greater Kansas City area. 3RD STREET ASYLUM www.3RDSTREETASYLUM.com What are you afraid of? Find out a t the 3rd Street Asylum where your deepest fears come to life. Open 7 PM to Midnight, Friday and Saturday October 5 through 27, Wednesday, October 31 (Halloween), and Friday November 2. HAUNTED HOUSE PARTY AT THE POWER & LIGHT DISTRICT SAT, OCT 27 Featuring DJ Mike Scott plus costume contests on the KC Live! 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Westport $4.00 McCoy's Pints Torre's Pizzeria Figlio, The Italian Beer Kitchen Any Specialty Pizza for $10 and 2 $5 off Any Purchace 7-10pm Late Night Happy Hour Friday & Slices for $4 O'Dowds Saturday 11pm-1am Westport Cafe and Bar Free Cover & $5 Boru Irish Vodka Buzzard Beach Tomfooleries $1.25 Domestic Drafts $2.50 Wells Shot and a Beer for $5 Fri - Sat 9pm-Close $2.50 Westport Coffee House Californos Domestic Draws $2.75 Wells 15% Off Any Coffee Drink $5 off $12 purchase $4.50 Cuervo Margaritas Fran's Restaurant www.thekansascitystrip.com pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 25 MUSIC and Think 2wice Records BY C HR I S MIL B OUR N ANGELA C. BOND DOUBLE TAKE Westport and beyond with Brent Tactic W estport is as popular and healthy as it has been in years. New restaurants keep moving into the entertainment district, and the bars and clubs spill over with revelers most nights of the week. Also on the rise: electronic dance music. Right now is a very good time to have a DJ gig in Westport. Or, in the case of Brent Tactic, many DJ gigs. It wouldn’t be excessively bold to point to Tactic as the top dog of Westport’s danceoriented club scene. His ongoing DJ nights include MVMNT, a monthly first-Saturday foray at the Union; the Superb Bass Party every fourth Saturday and Frenzy each third Friday, at Gusto Lounge; and the biweekly Think 2wice Thursdays on the patio at the Riot Room. Tactic also took over booking recently at Gusto. “It’s been a wild three months so far,” Tactic says. “I felt like it was a chance to put my stamp on a place with what I feel works within a given venue, and the level of creative freedom I’ve been given with Gusto is really exciting.” Late shifts behind the decks aren’t Tactic’s only musical pursuits, though. Through his label, Think 2wice Records, he’s working to digitally distribute the work of like-minded producers and DJs. (SoundCloud pages are the primary currency in this world; Think 2wice’s are at soundcloud.com/think-2wice. You can also find Think 2wice releases on iTunes and Beatport.) Tactic’s dance-music interests are wide and eclectic, and Think 2wice’s roster reflects that. The singles, EPs and mixtapes feature hints of moombahton, house, trap, juke and more. Think 2wice also isn’t exclusively a Kansas City operation, though local figures such as Norrit, Spinstyles, DJ B-Stee and DJ Archi are all part of its roster. DJ Melo (Phoenix), Kovary (Budapest), Jon Kwest (D.C.) and Inflect (L.A.) have all released music through the label. In late September, Think 2wice dropped its 16th official release: Nite Drift, an EP of slick, mellow house and garage beats by 26 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 producer Andrew Sinclair. (It’s free on Think 2wice’s SoundCloud.) “He just really gets it, how things should sound from an engineering and vibe standpoint,” Tactic says of Sinclair, a relative newcomer to KC’s electronic scene. “His ideas on melody and how to create a specific sound are pretty mind-blowing when you spend time talking to him about it. I can only imagine how much better he’s going to be a year from now, five years from now.” Tactic is also keyed up to release work by Chromatic, a producer from New Zealand who has already had tracks hyped on BBC Radio 1 in England. Chromatic’s sound is heavier, with some drum and bass mixed in. Tactic says he’s open to just about any sound as far as Think 2wice goes. “Everything is fair game. If we feel it makes sense to represent our brand, and it’s something we see being a nod toward what we feel is breaking out stylistically industrywise, we’ll give it a go. There’s always a reason to step back and look at [things] differently or even take the time to digest something you may have completely ignored or written off, to think twice about what you know and try something new and different. You never know how much you might be impressed and inspired by it.” Chris Milbourn is the founder of Demencha Magazine, online at demencha.com. CHER UK SOLDIERS ON C her UK never really broke up. The hooky grunge-punk group, much loved in Kansas City and beyond during its 1990s heyday, lost a great deal of momentum when frontman Mike McCoy moved from KC to Austin in 1998. But even down in Texas, McCoy contin- pitch.com ued to play shows under the Cher UK name. Tactic and tactician “We’ve never been completely kaput,” McCoy look at production. There’s horns on there, says. “I’ve done Cher shows down here on and we’ve got Betse Ellis’ amazing fiddle request, and we’ve done a couple of reunionplaying. I don’t really see us going back to type shows in Kansas City. I own the rights that old Cher sound. I just don’t really write to the name, so I’ve been able to kind of do that way anymore.” whatever I want with it.” McCoy’s lyrics on Soldier retain the sharp, The cast of characters surrounding McCoy in Cher UK has changed over the funny, metaphorical qualities that he has trayears, but McCoy considers himself and ditionally embraced. “Peace, Love and Fun in bassist Mark Reynolds to be the core of the the Sun” — How you like that eight ball/How group. “Mark is a seriously old punk — an you like them neighborhood kids/How you like never really knowing nothing at all? — a merry, old-school punk, and he plays that style of bass — and we started Cher together, back two-minute bit of honky-tonk pop, is a highlight. Slow-strumming closer “Denny’s After in 1990, before we added the ‘UK’ to the Closing” walks the fi nest of lines between end in later versions of the band,” McCoy says. “He’s been in and out of the band for goofy (it contains a reference to the Denny’s menu item Moons Over My Hammy) and its entire 22 years.” heartfelt. But it emerges as In town for a reunion a winner, a bittersweet ode show at the Middle of the Cher UK, to McCoy’s good old days Map Fest this past spring, with Pedaljets and in Kansas City, with shoutMcCoy enlisted Reynolds Hot Dog Skeletons outs to forgotten dives like and a handful of other Saturday, October 20, at Davey’s Uptown Joe’s Standard Bar and music ia n s — d r u m mer Ramblers Club the Metropolitan bar next Bernie Dugan, guitarist to Municipal Auditorium. Mike “Clem” Stover and And some joints that are horn player Kyle Dahlquist among them — to cut some new Cher UK still hanging in there: Don’t forget the Stagesongs at Westend Recording Studio. They coach/And Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club/I did it all in one day, and the result is Little can still see you smiling over there. “That one’s kind of a farewell to my hardBlue Soldier, a twangier-than-you-mightexpect four-song EP that is available at the partying days,” McCoy says. “It was a way band’s show this Saturday at Davey’s Uptown for me to try to relive some of those old Ramblers Club. memories of the days of just not giving a “I think it’s probably got a little Duane shit about anything. It was just so wonderful Eddy thing going on,” McCoy says. “Clem being young in Kansas City. I just have so brings that with his guitar playing, I think. many fond memories about it. You wish you My history in Kansas City was always play- could push a button and go back. With muing very sparse, straightforward punk rock, sic, you can get close. You can make a song and I still approach songs that way. But as that makes the memory more visceral. It’s as far as the way the songs turn out, I think close as you can get to going back, I think.” they’ve gotten away from that. I’ve been — DAVID HUDNALL trying to get more of a handle on melody. And being in Austin has changed the way I E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org pitch.com M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X THE PITCH 1 pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 27 WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY KNUCKLEHEADS MUSIC | STREETSIDE MAJOR THRIFT F re e S h u tt le in S u rr o u n d in g A reth e a Sampling the booze of tomorrow at Major Brands’ holiday party BY D AV ID HUDN A L L OCTOBER 17: Sarah & The Tall Boys 18: The Stone River Boys 19: Marcia Ball Shemekia Copeland Samantha Fish 20: Shannon & The Rhythm Kings 20: Trampled Under Foot 21: Open Jam Hosted by Levee Town @ 2pm 21: Joe Ely @ 8:30pm I 22: Open Jam Hosted by Billy Ebeling 1:30pm 23: Todd Snider w/ Amanda Shires 24: Pete Anderson Guitar Player for Dwight Yoakam 24: Carl Butler’s Gospel Lounge TICKETS N OW 25: Ledet ON S ALERosie ! 26: Jeff Bergen’s Elvis Show 26: Turnpike Troubadours presents OCT 30 The English Beat 31: The Black Lillies For more info & tickets: knuckleheadskc.com 2715 Rochester, KCMO 816-483-1456 28 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 magine an industry trade show: beige event space, rows and rows of booths, slick salespeople explaining their products to potential vendors. Now imagine that, instead of vacuum cleaners or facial creams or semiautomatic weapons, the unifying product at this trade show is alcohol. Booze is everywhere, every kind of booze that exists on God’s delicious green Earth, and you can walk around and try it all. The people there are practically begging you to try it all. This is how I spent last Wednesday night. In the Kansas City area, most bars and restaurants purchase their liquor from two wholesale distributors: Glazer’s and Major Brands. Every fall, in advance of all the special holiday packaging that liquor companies roll out, Major Brands throws a holiday party. The idea is that proprietors of local establishments can check out all the new products and get a sense of what they want to order from their reps for the upcoming busy season. For the two years I’ve been aware of this party, it has been held in a conference-style meeting room upstairs at the Argosy Casino, in Riverside. Last year, I tagged along with my co-worker Berry, who has worked in a lot of bars around town and who excels at getting the scoop on these types of events. I got drunk and, as we were leaving, I ordered a couple of sandwiches from the free primerib buffet. Then I wrapped the sandwiches inside napkins and stuffed them in my coat pocket, to have for lunch the following day. In the car on the way home, I removed the sandwiches from my coat, fearing grease leakage. I glanced up at Berry. The look on her face expressed something between shock and pity. “That’s some hobo shit,” she said, shaking her head. But Berry is forgiving and forgetful, so she invited me along again this year. We wormed our way past the sign-in area and entered the fray. There were men in suits, crusty ex-conlooking dudes, sassy barmaids, and attractive young women hired by liquor companies for their attractiveness. Something for everyone. I wandered, aimless and overwhelmed, until I made eye contact with a middle-aged rep. pitch.com “You look like a man with a refined palate,” the gentleman called out to me from behind his booth. You have poor instincts, I wanted to tell him, but I walked over and chatted him up about his wines. Did I know that the family of famous Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli has grown grapes in the hills of Tuscany for over a century? I did not. Would I like to try a glass? Would I ever. “What varieties do you tend to sell?” he asked. “Oh, you know … reds?” The man did a double take, then gave me a little once-over. He was not accustomed to such unsophisticated responses. But he was a good sport and continued to humor me with tastings until a person who actually belonged at the party approached and asked real questions about the wine. I ducked away and disappeared into the crowd. Last year’s Major Brands party was my first encounter with whipped-cream-flavored vodka, which has since caught on at a lot of the party bars around town. This year, my big flavored-vodka take-away was Bakon, a bacon-flavored vodka. I was skeptical at first. Bacon is in everything these days, and, as a result, I have come down with a case of bacon fatigue, a condition that would once have been unthinkable. But then I saw what the Bakon man was cutting his Bakon with: bloody-mary mix. It’s an irresistible concoction. (Also Bakon-friendly: pickle juice.) If, like me, you derive perverse joy out of listening to sales pitches, this was one hell of a party. “If you try a better single-malt scotch in this room than this here Balvenie, you come back and tell me what it was because I want to try it,” a sly old fox with a mustache told me. “I don’t think it exists, but you let me know.” He cackled with precision. I grinned and nodded and cackled a little, too, and then I drank it down. One of the more boring booths in the room — a couple of vodkas, a couple of whiskeys, no gimmicks — was incongruously staffed by a gorgeous, statuesque blonde, over 6 feet tall, in a tight black dress. Oh, mama. I glimpsed Christmas comes early at the Argosy. her on my first lap around and stopped by a half-hour later, buoyed by the confidence only the finest flavored vodkas can instill in a man. At the exact moment when I knew it was too late, it dawned on me that I had nothing interesting to say because when it comes down to it, I am a sad, boring man. I just kind of grinned like a dope and pointed: “What’s the difference between those two whiskeys?” She dutifully explained, and I pretended to listen. She poured me a little shot, and I stood there in front of her drinking it, pretending to savor its subtle flavors. Then I formulated some winning comment (I don’t remember what it was, and it probably wasn’t winning at all), but just as I was about to unleash my infallible charisma, some dork sidled up and started peppering my girl with business questions. The nerve of this guy! I milled around for a bit, but this chatterbox wasn’t going anywhere, and my dignity was evaporating with each second that I continued loitering. I slunk off into the crowd. Over the years, I have become pretty good at slinking off into crowds. I tracked down Berry. “Let’s go downstairs and gamble,” I said. Underneath the fakesky ceiling of the Argosy — it always looks like dusk above you, even when it’s 4 a.m. on a Tuesday and you’re blowing through next month’s rent — I lost $20 in about five minutes. (“What do you expect? You can’t play the slots at the Argosy,” Pitch food critic and casino enthusiast Charles Ferruzza told me the next day. “Those are the tightest damn slots in town. I keep telling you, you wanna win something, you gotta go to the Isle of Capri!”) Berry caught a nice run at the electronic blackjack screens at the bar, but then I horned in and killed it. “Not my night,” I said, as we exited the premises, broke and defeated. On the whole, though, I’d rate the evening a success. The liquor industry, it should come as no surprise, knows how to throw a party. E-mail email@example.com pitch.com MONTH pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 29 MUSIC RADAR M U S I C F O R E CAST BY Other shows worth seeing this week. D AV ID HUDN A L L T H U R S D AY, O C T O B E R 18 Circa Survive, Touche Amore, Balance and Composure, O’Brother: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. F R I D AY, O C T O B E R 19 Marcia Ball, Shemekia Copeland, Samantha Fish: 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Vicente Fernandez: Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300. George Lopez: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Mimosa, JMSN, WestEndGrl: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. S AT U R D AY, O C T O B E R 2 0 Araabmuzik One of the more virtuosic musical displays I’ve observed in the past year, or maybe ever, was a YouTube video of Araabmuzik tapping out warp-speed beats with his fingertips on an MPC sampler. The MPC has traditionally been used as a hip-hop production tool, but Araabmuzik — the stage name of 22-year-old Abraham Orellana — has pioneered its transition into a live instrument. He wields the device as a sort of digital drum kit, in the manner of a DJ. What Araabmuzik is doing doesn’t yet have a name but it’s at the fertile nexus of electronic dance music and hip-hop, and rest assured that you’ll be hearing more things like it in years to come. With Sleigh Bells. Tuesday, October 23, at the Granada (1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390) Dr. John and the Blind Boys of Alabama I asked a co-worker the other day if he’d heard the new Dr. John record, and he laughed at me. Laughed hard! But I was being serious. Because the new Dr. John record, produced by Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys, is actually pretty amazing. In a way, it’s exactly what I expected: Dr. John’s trademark R&B swampfunk aesthetic packaged in the kind of stark, tight, analog production that the Black Keys have perfected. But it’s also daring in a way that I didn’t anticipate. There are sprawling guitar solos, Farfisa riffs, and whole songs that bear the influence of Ethiopian jazz music. (Think the Broken Flowers soundtrack.) It’s groovy as fuck, and one of 2012’s delicious surprise gems. Sunday, October 21, in Yardley Hall at Johnson County Community College (12345 College Boulevard, Overland Park, 913-469-4445) Halloweenie Roast Good old KRBZ 96.5 (the Buzz) has curated this pre-Halloween affair with the Hot Topic set in mind: suburban angst and white studded belts recommended. That’s not to say there’s nothing for adults here. Fresh off firing its bassist for robbing a Boston pharmacy for Oxycontin, Coheed and Cambria headlines the evening. The band released The Afterman: Ascension, a new album of conceptual emo prog, last week. Emo and prog ideas are also of concern to openers the Dear Hunter and Three; Dead Sara traffics in heavy alt-rock, like a female-fronted Audioslave. Wednes day, October 24, at the Midland (1228 Main, 816-283-9921) The Skatalites Todd Snider How to keep track of all these blandly named, white, male, Americana singer-songwriters? How to remember which ones are good and which ones are just kinda average? No Depression should create trading cards for these guys, with helpful statistics on the back to aid us in deciding whether to shell out cash for their shows. Todd Snider is one of the good ones; his latest, Agnostic Hymns & Stoner Fables, is a smart, sardonic collection of alt-country tunes with some 99-percenter politics shaded in. With singer-violinist Amanda Shires. Tuesday, October 23, at Knuckleheads Saloon (2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456) Hammerween III: Season of the Hammerlord Last year’s Hammerween was called “Hammerween 2: Revenge of Hammerlord.” This year, it’s “Hammerween III: Season of the Hammerlord.” Equally as epic and hilarious as those titles are the names of the metal bands joining Hammerlord on this bill: Troglodyte, At the Left Hand of God, Tennessee Murder Club, Enemies Laid to Rest, In the Shadow, David Hasselhoff on Acid, and High Rise Robots. Saturday, October 20, at the Beaumont Club (4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560) F O R E C A S T 30 From left: Dr. John, Todd Snider and the Skatalites Percussionist Lloyd Knibb died in 2011, and upright-bassist Lloyd Brevett passed away a few months ago, which leaves alto-saxophonist Lester Sterling as the sole surviving member of the original Skatalites lineup. Sterling is still grinding it out on tour, aided by singer Doreen Shaffer (who has recorded with the group since the mid-1960s, when it was busy inventing the genre of ska music) and seven other guys you’ve never heard of. So, no, it’s not the real Skatalites. But it’s still probably a solid Thursday night. With Van Gordon Martin. Thursday, October 18, at Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club (3402 Main, 816-753-1909) K E Y ..................................................Pick of the Week ...................................................Dyed Black Hair ................................................................ Twangy ...........................................................Storyteller .......................................................Kind of Scary ............................................Possible Swan Song .................They Invented an Entire Music Genre .............................................................. Growling ................................................. Repulsive Masks ....................................................... Bad Earrings ................................................ Not a Real Doctor ........................................................ College Kids ........................................ Boys Wearing Makeup .....................................................Career Revival .................................................... Bring Earplugs THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com pitch.com Cher U.K., the Pedaljets, Hot Dog Skeletons: Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. Converge, Coalesce, Torche, Kvelertak, Mansion: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Deftones, Scars on Broadway: VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. Heritage Philharmonic Concert with Angela Hagenbach and Her Quintet: The Pavilion at John Knox Village, 520 N.W. Murray Rd., Lee’s Summit, 816-347-2999. Tribute to Walt: 7:30 p.m. Unity Temple, 707 W. 47th St., 816-561-4466. S U N D AY, O C T O B E R 21 Joe Ely: 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Joe, Lyfe Jennings, Jackie Michaels: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Steve Kimock, Bernie Worrell, Wally Ingram, Andy Hess: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Tilly and the Wall, Niki Da B: Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085. The Wombats: The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. M O N D AY, O C T O B E R 2 2 Dysrhythmia, Wrath and Ruin, David Hasselhoff on Acid: 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Nappy Roots, Houston Zizza: The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. W E D N E S D AY, O C T O B E R 2 4 Falling in Reverse, Enter Shikari, I See Stars, Letlive: The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. White Denim, Maps & Atlases: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. FUTURECAST OCTOBER THURSDAY 25 Beats Antique, Lynx, Cloud Dog: The Beaumont Club Grace Potter and the Nocturnals: Uptown Theater FRIDAY 26 Justin Bieber: Sprint Center Freaker’s Ball: The Midland Jucifer, Black Christmas: Replay Lounge, Lawrence SATURDAY 27 Minus the Bear, Cursive, Girl in a Coma: The Beaumont Club Red Hot Chili Peppers: Sprint Center TUESDAY 30 Madonna: Sprint Center WEDNESDAY 31 EOTO, NMEZEE: The Granada, Lawrence NOVEMBER SATURDAY 3 Matt and Kim: Liberty Hall, Lawrence M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X THE PITCH 1 The 2013 South By Southwest Music Conference & Festival REGISTER TO ATTEND Go to sxsw.com/attend now to take advantage of current registration discounts and to get your hotel. Next discount deadline November 9, 2012. APPLY TO SHOWCASE Band application final deadline is November 7, 2012. Learn more at sxsw.com/music ADVERTISE | MARKET | EXHIBIT sxsw.com/marketing EXPERIENCE MORE Visit us at: youtube.com/sxsw Brought to you by: presents TICKETS P p in advance at knuckleheadskc.com Tues Oct 30 @ 8 pm Advance tickets $15 WHERE THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD PLAY KNUCKLEHEADS 2715 Rochester • KCMO • 816-483-1456 pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 31 NIGHTLIFE Send submissions to Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer by e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org), fax (816-756-0502) or phone (816-218-6926). Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly. T H U R S D AY 18 CLOTHING - JEWELRY ACCESSORIES - ART OFFICIAL CROSSROADS TICKET OUTLET 1607 Westport Rd. KCMO 816-442-8400 Mon - Thurs 12-9pm • Fri - Sat 12-10pm • Sun 12-6pm The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Victor and Penny, Partners in Glory. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Daymoths, Bearface, Jenny Dalton, 6 p.m. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Waiting For Signal, A Friend Called Fire, the Slowdown. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Blondie Brunetti, Ryan Lee Toms, Time Hammer, 9 p.m. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Jealousy Mountain Duo, This is My Condition, Zsa Zsa Ketzner. BLUES/FUNK/SOUL BLUES/FUNK/SOUL Barnyard Beer: 925 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-393-9696. The Brody Buster Band. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Jimmie Bratcher, 7 p.m. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816-2201222. Justin Andrew Murray. ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. The Stone River Boys, 8 p.m. DJ Dark Horse Tavern: 4112 Pennsylvania, 816-931-3663. Live DJ. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Love Garden Sound System on the patio. JAZZ Mon - Thurs 12-9pm • Fri - Sat 12-10pm • Sun 12-6pm CRUSHED OUT The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Charles Perkins, Gerald Spaits, Jack Lightfoot, Arny Young. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Bram Wijnands, Joe Lisinicchia. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Damon Parker. Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913-948-5550. Rob Scheps, Shunzo Ohno Quintet, with Roger Wilder, Bob Bowman, Ryan Lee. COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Steve Byrne. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Jon Reep. @RECORDBAR 24 WEDNESDAY OCTOBER BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS HEAR THEM BEFORE YOU SEE THEM //FREE MUSIC PLAYER ON THE MUSIC HOME PAGE OF PITCH.COM B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. ’80s costume party, and Samantha Fish. Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Extreme Bingo. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Brodioke, 9 p.m. Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455. Trivia, Ladies’ Night, and DJ HoodNasty. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. “You Sing It” Live Band Karaoke. J. Murphy’s Irish Pub and Grille: 22730 Midland Dr., Shawnee, 913-825-3880. Ladies’ night. Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Trivia. Johnny’s Tavern: 8262 Mission, Prairie Village, 913-901-0322. Bingo, 8 p.m. Liberty Hall: 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Ghoul School. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Trivia Clash, 7 p.m. Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Karaoke, ladies’ night. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. MBird’s Artist Showcase, 7:30 p.m.; Uptown Heat, 10:30 p.m. The Velvet Dog: 400 E. 31st St., 816-753-9990. Skeeball League Night. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Trivia. FOLK Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. John Keck’s Devils and Angels, with Kiernan McMullan, and Megan Zander. OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Double T’s Roadhouse: 1421 Merriam Ln., Kansas City, Kan., 913-432-5555. Blues Jam hosted by RocknRick’s Boogie Leggin’ Blues Band, 7 p.m. 32 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com F R I D AY 19 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Hospital Ships, Pale Hearts, Monsoon Lazer. Gusto Coffee Bistro: 3390 S.W. Fascination Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-767-1100. Euphorics. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Sobriquet, Jenny Dalton, Daymoths, Lonnie Fisher. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816-525-1871. The Last Vegas. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Dollar Fox, McMilian and Easterday, Genna & Jesse, 6 p.m. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7497676. Traindodge, Major Games, 6 p.m.; Mark Mallman, Hidden Pictures, 10 p.m. ROCK/POP/INDIE THREADZ BY HEADZ FOR THE HEADS Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816-525-1871. Jerry’s Jam Night, 9 p.m. Barnyard Beer: 925 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-393-9696. Lonnie Ray Blues Band. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Brother Bagman (CD release), Danny McGaw, Honey Suckle, 9 p.m. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Janet the Planet, Wrong Kata. The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Groove Agency. Llywelyn’s Pub: 6995 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913-4020333. Crosseyed Cat. ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Bar West: 7174 Renner Rd., Shawnee, 913-248-9378. The Outlaw Junkies. B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Spencer Bohren. The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Gleny Rae Virus and Her Tamworth Playboys, Attic Wolves, Betse Ellis. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Dollar Fox, the Peculiar Pretzelmen, the Latenight Callers. Dynamite Saloon: 721 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8562739. BRC Sounds. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-8949676. Art Bentley. The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Scratch Track, Loaded Goat, Jake Briscoe. DJ Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. DCal. Club Monaco: 334 E. 31st St., 816-753-5990. DJ Shaun Flo. The Eighth Street Taproom: 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918. Mingle with Team Bear Club. MiniBar: 3810 Broadway. Soulnice. The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. DJ E. E Replay Lounge: 946 MassachuMOR setts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. DJ Proof on the patio. Sidecar at the Beaumont Club: S G IN 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. LIST E AT N I Nub-Stock. ONL M The Well: 7421 Broadway, 816-361PITCH.CO 1700. DJ Ashton Martin. Z Strike: 1370 Grand, 816-471-2316. Fabowlous Fridays with DJ Nuveau, 9 p.m. CLUB ACOUSTIC Great Day Café: 7921 Santa Fe Dr., Overland Park, 913-6429090. Half-Price Buddha. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Balmorhea, Sounding the Deep, 9 p.m. JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Darcus Gates. Gran-Daddy’s Barbeque: 1447 W. 23rd St., Lawrence, 785830-8665. Glen Simpson. Lucky Brewgrille: 5401 Johnson Dr., Mission, 913-403-8571. Rob Scheps and Ron Carlson Trio. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Bram Wijnands, David Chael, Tommy Ruskin; Paul Shinn, 5 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913948-5550. Matt Otto Trio. Thai Place: 9359 W. 87th St., Overland Park, 913-649-5420. Jerry Hahn. COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Steve Byrne, 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Jon Reep, 7:45 & 9:45 p.m. BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Juke Box. The Brooksider: 6330 Brookside Plz., 816-363-4070. Friday team trivia, 7 p.m. ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Maryoke with Monique. J. Murphy’s Irish Pub and Grille: 22730 Midland Dr., Shawnee, 913-825-3880. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Ab Fab Fridays on the main floor, 9 p.m. Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Merriam, 913-2684006. Dart tournament, 8 p.m. Wilde’s Chateau 24: 2412 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-856-1514. Roxie French presents House of Haunted Whores. SINGER-SONGWRITER 11/2-- 1st Friday w/ Chris Williams 11/3-- Woody Pines 11/30-- Broncho Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Charity Bingo, 5 p.m.; Maryoke, 9 p.m. The Red Balloon: 10325 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-9622330. Karaoke, 8 p.m., free. Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Merriam, 913-2684006. Pool tournament, 1 p.m. Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913-5419255. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Westport Coffee House: 4010 Pennsylvania, 816-756-3222. The Kick Comedy Theatre: the Kick-Off Improv Comedy Show, 8 p.m. M E TA L / P U N K The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Hammerween III after-party with Marasmus, Torn the Fuck Apart, Meatshank, 11:30 p.m. OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Rapid Fire Poetry Open Mic, 7:30 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. Nicolette Paige, and more. VA R I E T Y VA R I E T Y Midland Railway: 1515 W. High St., Baldwin City, 785-5946982. Night Trains of Terrors, 6:30, 8 & 10 p.m. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. The Art of Tease with Q, the Immaculate MissConceptions, Martika’s Mystic Design, the KC Tribe of Vibe, and more. Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. The 9th Street Incline Band. The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 Broadway. The French Cabaret: Le Cercle de la Vie, 6:30 p.m. S AT U R D AY 2 0 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Sellout. The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Rev Gusto, and Shades of Jade. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. The Promise Makers, 7 p.m.; 49 Stones, the Sexy Accident, 10 p.m. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. InAeona, Cherokee Rock Rifle, In the Grove, a Light Within. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. The Travel Guide, Til Willis, Comanche the Horse. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Prairie Village People, 7 p.m.; Coversmith, 10 p.m. The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. Camp Harlow, 5 p.m.; Drew6, 10 p.m. The News Room: 3740 Broadway, 816-561-1099. Banked Beauties’ Halloween Bash with No Safe Haven, Five Star Disaster, Prize for best costume, 8 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The Empty Spaces, Cave Girls, Mad Spirits, 9 p.m. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. The Cast Pattern, 10 p.m. The Well: 7421 Broadway, 816-361-1700. The Stolen Winnebagos. BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Mama Ray Jazz Meets Blues Jam, 2 p.m.; Levee Town 10th anniversary, 9 p.m. Dynamite Saloon: 721 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8562739. Dan Bliss. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. The Big 3 with John Paul Drum. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Shannon & the Rhythm Kings, Living Room session, 8 p.m.; Trampled Under Foot, Justin Andrew Murray, 9 p.m. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Cold Sweat, 9 p.m. Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Back Porch Blues Band. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816-2201222. The Nace Brothers. DJ Club Monaco: 334 E. 31st St., 816-753-5990. DJ Pure. The Eighth Street Taproom: 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918. Bump and Hustle with Cyrus D. The Quaff: 1010 Broadway, 816-471-1918. DJ Chris. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. DJ Cruz on the patio; the Warm Up with Wolfgod, 6 p.m. Z Strike: 1370 Grand, 816-471-2316. DJ Mike Scott. JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Doug Talley Quintet performs the music of Wayne Shorter. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. A La Mode, 4:30 p.m. The Raphael Hotel: 325 Ward Pkwy., 816-756-3800. Stan Kessler with Mistura Fina. COMEDY ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. ComedyCity After Dark, 10 p.m. BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. KC’s Original Dueling Pianos. S U N D AY 21 ROCK/POP/INDIE Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Muscle Worship, Police Teeth, JabberJosh, 10 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Blindog, 8 p.m. BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Lee McBee and the Confessors. The Brickyard Tavern: 1001 S. Weaver, Olathe, 913-780-0266. Crosseyed Cat open blues jam, 3-7 p.m. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Rich Berry. SIGHTS SOUNDS Food by: IMPERIAL FLAVOR 1531 Grand Friday, October 19KCMO (816) 10:00 421-0300 Groove Agency pm czarkc.com Saturday, October UPCOMING LIVE ACTS 20 SAT 10.27 HeadHarlow for the Hills Camp 5:00 pm WED 10.31 Slaughter Movie House Halloween Costume Bash Drew 6 10:00 pm THU 11.02 1st Fridays w. Chris Williams SAT 11.03 Woody Pines FRI 11.30 Broncho EVERY 1st MONDAY: Slaughterhouse Movie Night / Food & Wine Specials NEW Food Hours Hours: TUE-SAT, 3PM-Midnight TUE Elkheart’s Downtown Outlaw Fiasco / Taco Tuesday WED Guerilla Movement Presents 2 - 4 - 1 KC’s Best Burgers THU Hot Caution Downtown / Philly Thursday FOOD AND DRINK PATIO & DECK BANQUET & PRIVATE PARTY FACILITY KANSAS CITY'S ORIGINAL DUELING PIANO SHOW SUNDAY: DJ SINGER-SONGWRITER SUNDAY AND KANSAS CITY'S ONLY ADULTS ONLY, DRINK ALONG SPELLING BEE FROM 8-10 ACOUSTIC CLASSICAL NIGHTLY SPECIALS THURSDAY-SATURDAY: Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Sunday Funday with DJ G Train on the patio. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Jeff Harshbarger presents an Alternative Jazz Series, 7 p.m. Groove Agency - 10pm SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20th Camp Harlow - 5pm Drew 6 - 10pm KANSAS CITY'S BIGGEST $1 HUMPDAY PARTY Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. The Sunflower Colonels, David Burchfield, 6 p.m. JAZZ FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19th Now open 7 days a week with drink specials nightly: WEDNESDAY: ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816-2201222. Acoustic Showcase. EVERY WEDNESDAY Lonnie Ray Blues Band EVERY THURSDAY Live Reggae with AZ One Visit www.erniebiggs.com for specials and line up. Like us on Facebook for upcoming promotions and special offers. MONDAY: MAN CAVE MONDAYS - FOOTBALL, GAMES, & CHEAP BEER TUESDAY: PINT NIGHT WITH DJ HIGHNOONE AND ASHTON MARTIN Chaz on the Plaza: 325 Ward Pkwy., 816-802-2152. Les Mengel Duo, 5-9 p.m. COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Steve Byrne. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy on the main floor, 10 p.m. BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Smackdown Trivia and Karaoke. Frank James Saloon: 10919 N.W. Hwy. 45, Parkville, 816-5050800. Karaoke, 6-10 p.m. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Mary’s Drag Brunch, 11 a.m. Howl at the Moon: 1334 Grand, 816-471-4695. 5th Annual Howlin’ For Hope. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Show Stopper Karaoke, midnight. Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913-5419255. Texas Hold ’em, 6 & 9 p.m. OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Groove Station: 9916 Holmes, 816-942-1000. KC Blues Jam with Crosseyed Cat, 2-6 p.m. The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Open blues jam, 7 p.m. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Sunday Salvation with Booty Bass, 10 p.m., $3. pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 33 Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Open Jam with Levee Town, 2 p.m., free. We Deliver! FRANK JAMES LIVE MUSIC. NO COVER 1515 WESTPORT RD. • 816-931-9417 WED 10/17 ACOUSTIC SHOWCASE FRI 10/19 EDDIE DELAHUNT SAT 10/20 WHEELHOUSE W/ FRANKOWSKI TUE 10/23 CRITTERS TYE-DYE TUESDAY WED 10/24 ACOUSTIC SHOWCASE WIFI NOW AVAILABLE! CHECK OUT THE NEW ALL DAY HAPPY HOUR $4.95 DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS • NIGHTLY DINNER & DRINK SPECIALS SALOON Lunch Buffet, Salad Bar Daily Food & Drink Specials Bloody Mary Bar & Breakfast Pizza Buffet Sundays 11am - 2pm Karaoke Sundays 6-10 • Happy Hour 3-6 10/19 tracy allison 10/26 river rock 10919 NW 45 Hwy (3.5 mi west of I-29) CHECK FACEBOOK FOR UPDATES Parkville, MO 816-505-0800 MON 10/15 RURAL GRIT @6 WED 10/17 KARAOKE @ 10PM GOLDEN SOU ND CIR THU 10/18 THE AWFUL TRUTH CUS, VICTOR AND PENNY, FRI 10/19 PARTNERS IN GLORY GLENY RAE V PLAYBOYS, ATIRUS AND HER TIC WOLVES B , SAT 10/20 ETSE ELLIS S H A DES OF JADE FRI 10/26 STEADY AND DIRTYSTAETES, DREW BLACK LECTR SAT 10/27 ACROSS THE EARTHIC, BRICK 13TH HAUNTED CR B-DAY DJ THUNDEEERPYS, CARE GIRLS CUTZ THE HOME FOR LIVE MUSIC AND FOOTBALL NORTH OF THE RIVER! WED 10/17 LADIES NIGHT & DJ DANCE PARTY FRI 10/19 ALLIED SAINTS 9PM SAT 10/20 TBA 9PM SUN 10/21 OPEN JAM HOSTED BY K.C. KELSEY HILL TUE 10/23 TELE-TUESDAY HOSTED BY OUTLAW JIM & WHISKEY BENDERS 7PM WED 10/24 LADIES NIGHT & DJ DANCE PARTY 7PM FRI 10/26 TEQUILA 9PM SAT 10/27 THE HIDE OUT HALLOWEEN PARTY HOSTED BY DJ HOWEY SUN 10/28 CHIEFS VS RAIDERS GAME PACKAGE - BRUNCH BUFFET. BLOODY MARY BAR, DRINKS, CHARTER BUS W/ BEER, TICKET TO THE GAME & FOOD AFTER THE GAME AT THE BAR $125 CALL SUN 10/28 OPEN JAM HOSTED BY BROTHER BAGMAN TUE 10/30 TACO TUESDAY TROUBADOURS SONG WRITERS EXPO COMING NOV 10TH SAMANTHA FISH 6948 N. OAK TRFY, GLADSTONE MO | 816.468.0550 FIND US ON FACEBOOK - THE HIDEOUT BAR AND GRILL The T he SPOT for BLUES in Johnson County Wed OCT 17 Rock Paper Scissors 7-10PM Thu OCT 18 Josh Vowell 8-11PM Fri OCT 19 Justin Murray (solo) 5:30-7PM Rick Gibson 8-11PM Sat OCT 20 Blake McCleary 5:30-7PM Coyote Bill 8-11PM Tue OCT 23 Dave Hays Band Open Jam 8:30P-12:30A SINGER-SONGWRITER Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-561-2444. Singer-Songwriter Sundays. M O N D AY 2 2 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Taking Back Mondays. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The Prolific, Black Bonnet Ballyhoo, 9 p.m. ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Barnyard Beer: 925 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-393-9696. Mudstomp Mondays. The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Loaded Goat (album release), the Kansas City Bear Fighters, the Rural Grit All-Stars, 6 p.m. DJ The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. Blood Thirsty with DJ Jochen (hog-in) and Ahrenson. JAZZ The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Mark Lowrey Trio, 6 p.m. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. Millie Edwards and Michael Pagan, 7 p.m. COMEDY Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Comedy show. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. MANic Monday on the main floor, 10 p.m., free. BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Rural Grit Happy Hour, 6 p.m.; Karaoke with Kelly Bleachmaxx, 10:30 p.m., free. Californos: 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. Debate watch party. Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. Texas Hold ’em, 7 & 10 p.m. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Karaoke Idol with Tanya McNaughty. Nara: 1617 Main, 816-221-6272. Brodioke, 9 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Sonic Spectrum Music Trivia, 7 p.m., $5. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Texas Hold ’em, 8 p.m. T U E S D AY 2 3 ROCK/POP/INDIE RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Radkey, the Swayback, the Yards, 9 p.m. BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Trampled Under Foot. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. The Garrett Nordstrom Situation. Slow Ride Roadhouse: 1350 N. Third St., Lawrence, 785-7492727. Lonnie Ray Blues Band. DJ Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. DJ Whatshisname, service industry night, 9 p.m. The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Turn Up with Sam Blam, DJ Aira, and more, 10 p.m. JAZZ Finnigan’s Hall: 503 E. 18th Ave., North Kansas City, 816-2213466. Abel Ramirez Big Band, 6 p.m. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Hermon Mehari Trio. BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS 135TH ST. & QUIVIRA 12056 W. 135th St. OPKS 913-239-9666 www.quasimodokc.com 34 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Double feature movie night. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. Super Monologue Melee. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-842-1919. Boob Tube Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. It’s Karaoke Time! MiniBar: 3810 Broadway. Sonic Spectrum Trivia: the Bizarre, Pop Culture and Travel, 7 p.m. The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-236-6211. Karaoke. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-492-3900. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Tower Tavern: 401 E. 31st St., 816-931-9300. Trivia, 8 p.m. OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Quasimodo: 12056 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-239-9666. Dave Hays Band Open Jam. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Open Mic Night. RAP The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-8415483. Afroman, New Suede. VA R I E T Y RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The Winston Apple Show, 6 p.m. W E D N E S D AY 2 4 ROCK/POP/INDIE Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-421-0300. SeaKings, Vandal?Vandal!, the Electric Lungs. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-753-1909. The Independents, Pizza Party Massacre, 9:30 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Bob Walkenhorst, 7 p.m.; Dream Wolf, Crushed Out, Dan Tedesco, 9 p.m. BLUES/FUNK/SOUL Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Billy Ebeling. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816-2201222. The Bluz Benderz. ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-8321085. Stellar’s Jay, Oils, Bread and Butter. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Pete Anderson, with StonyHogg. DJ Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Sonic Spectrum with DJ Robert Moore, 10 p.m. The Union of Westport: 421 Westport Rd. Random Play Wednesday. JAZZ The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-221-1888. Joe DeFio. The Phoenix: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-221-5299. T.J. Erhardt piano. COMEDY Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Jay Phillips. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy on the main floor, 10 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Shane Mauss. BAR GAMES/DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS The All-Star Rock Bar: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Karaoke. Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. Brodioke. Danny’s Bar and Grill: 13350 College Blvd., Lenexa, 913-3459717. Trivia and karaoke with DJ Smooth, 8 p.m. 403 Club: 403 N. Fifth St., 913-499-8392. Pinball tournament, cash prize for winner, 8:30 p.m., $5 entry fee. Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Karaoke. Johnny’s Tavern: 8719 W. 95th St., Overland Park, 913-9489500. Trivioke. The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-236-6211. Karaoke. MORE Sherlock’s Underground Coffeehouse & Pub: 858 State Route 291, Liberty, 816-429-5262. Open jam blues, bike night specials. INGS LIST E AT The Uptown Arts Bar: 3611 IN L N O Broadway. Uptown Poetry Slam with M PITCH.CO Nightlife Jones, 9:30 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-931-1986. Trivia. Wilde’s Chateau 24: 2412 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-856-1514. Pride Night, 8 p.m. CLUB OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1387. Acoustic Open Mic with host Tyler Gregory. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-8949676. Jam Night, 9 p.m. REGGAE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Aer, Yonas. 975 Kansas Ave Kansas City, KS 913.233.0201 SUNDAY & MONDAY NIGHT Poker and Pool Tournaments Groove S tation 9916 Holmes Rd. Kansas City, MO 7 DAYS: 11AM-1:30AM 816-942-1000 Your favorite local bar out south We have NFL SUNDAY TICKET! REALLY HAPPY HOURS MON-FRI: 3-7pm STREET TEAM Each week, Pitch Street Team cruises around to the hottest clubs, bars and concerts. You name it, we will be there. While we are out, we hand out tons of cool stuff. So look for the Street Team... We will be looking for you! CASH PRIZES • DRINK SPECIALS presented by: Bar “Where somebody might know your name” Shuffleboard! Watch the Chiefs on our HUGE 10’ TV! $1 shots everytime the Chiefs score! Happy Hour daily til 6pm! [$2 wells, dom. longnecks & dom.pints] Daily Food Special [Sun & Wed Steak Night] Pool Tournament Tuesdays with Paul Gerni. Karaoke Saturday night. MON-THU: 3:00PM - 1:30AM | FRI-SUN: 11:00AM - 1:30AM 6505 Nieman Rd in Shawnee /garrettsbar 913.608.5995 CHANCE II WIN FREE TICKETS MOVIE PASSES MORE+ FOLLOW + US @PITCHSTREET Renaissance Festival The Pitch’s Best of KC Party @ One 8 Oak Upcoming Events Say Anything @ Beaumont The Pitch’s Best of KC Party @ One 8 Oak C 10.21 - Perfect Wedding Guide Bridal Show @ OPC levard 10.24 - Urban Core Group Meeting @ Roasterie/Bou 10.25 - Grace Potter and the Nocturnals @ Uptown 10.25 - Beats Antique @ Beaumont See more on the “promotions” link on the p pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 35 S AVA G E L O V E CHANGING POSITIONS tion — particularly the dumb contention that “personhood” begins when sperm hits egg — is illogical and unappealing. It’s not the most unappealing quality I can think of in a partner, though — that would probably be dishonesty. Your advice last week to the young woman who discovered that her boyfriend is anti-choice was terrible. You advised LIFE to tell her boyfriend that she’s pregnant, in order to see if that changes his position. If a woman told me that she was against abortion in all circumstances, I would think twice about dating her. If she told me that she was pregnant and asked me to support the child, and then told me that she was just seeing how I would react, I would dump her. Love Is Finding Errors Dear LIFE: I’m glad your anti-choice boyfriend Vasectomy in Montana Dear VIM: Pretty much everyone on God’s Dear Dan: Would an anti-choice position still be a deal breaker for you if you had the penis 36 THE PITCH O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 pitch.com D A N S AVA G E a couple of days of thinking about it, I reopened the discussion. You hit the nail on the head when you said this was about equality and respect. Even though he claimed that he respected me, he admitted that he would ban abortion if he could, essentially arguing that I am less capable than he is of understanding what pregnancy means and the effect it would have on my life. I broke up with him. I’m writing to thank you for giving me the boost I needed and to calm the nerves of the commentators who really didn’t like the lie-about-pregnancy suggestion. Dear Dan: I’m pro-choice. The anti-choice posi- warming Earth — pro-choice and anti-choice — thought my advice for LIFE sucked monkey ass. In my defense, I did give LIFE the option of discussing an unplanned pregnancy as a hypothetical. And even if LIFE did opt to lie — my clear preference — I didn’t intend for LIFE to drag the lie out for weeks or months. I was thinking 30 minutes tops. My fault for not making this clear in my response. So what was I thinking? Basically this: Conservatives tend to change their position on a specific “controversial” social issue when “it” happens to them. Nancy Reagan came out for stem-cell research after her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Rush Limbaugh came out for treatment instead of incarceration for drug offenders after he got caught with his hand in the Oxycontin jar. Dick Cheney came out for marriage equality after his daughter came out as a lesbian. Likewise, a lot of conservatives — male and female — are anti-choice until an unplanned pregnancy happens to them. Access to safe and legal abortion services becomes important when “it” happens to them. (Sometimes the cure doesn’t stick. Scott DesJarlais, for example, is a rabidly pro-life member of Congress from Tennessee. But back in 2000, when he was a doctor, he pressured his mistress, who was also his patient, to get an abortion in an effort to save his failing marriage. As a member of Congress, DesJarlais opposes abortion in all cases, without exception, unless “it,” i.e., an unplanned pregnancy, happens to him.) This inability to empathize — this refusal to imagine what it might be like to have an ill relative or a drug problem or a gay child or an unplanned pregnancy — is a defining characteristic of modern conservatism. But my plan to instill a little empathy in LIFE’s boyfriend was itself lacking in empathy. LIFE’s boyfriend might have been traumatized by the lie — not just by the lie itself, but by the violation of trust. So my advice wasn’t just bad; it was hypocritical. Mea culpa. BY and your opposed-to-abortion partner had the vagina? Pro-Choice Myself Dear PCM: The right to control your own body is a bedrock value for me — male, female, gay, straight, sex workers, responsible drug users, etc. — but my hypothetical girlfriend’s antiabortion position would be a deal breaker if she didn’t support the right of other women to make their own choices. Allow me to unprettify: If my hypothetical girlfriend believed the state should have the power to force a woman to give birth against her will, if she wanted to see doctors thrown in prison for performing abortions, if she believed every miscarriage should be treated like potential homicide, that would be a deal breaker. But yes, I could see myself dating a woman who was personally but not politically opposed to abortion. I would fuck her in the ass, however, to avoid becoming a father against my will. Dear Dan: Your response to LIFE was horrible. Flat-out lie and see what response you get? How about having a frank discussion to see how he really feels about abortion? I hope LIFE was smart enough to disregard your idiotic “advice.” Offended Dear O: You and everyone else who were worried that LIFE might take my idiotic advice will be delighted to hear that she did not … Dear Dan: I was happy to see my letter in your column. After I wrote you, I had a long conversation with my boyfriend. When I asked what we should do if I was pregnant — something all sexually active couples should talk about — he said he would want me to give it up for adoption or keep it (with the help of child-support payments from him) but that I could have an abortion because “the letter of the law was on my side.” (We live in Canada, for which I am eternally grateful.) After is your anti-choice ex, and your letter is a good reminder to everyone who reads my column or any other advice slinger’s column: It’s called “advice,” not “binding arbitration” for a good reason. The people who ask me for advice are free to make up their own minds. And I actively encourage everyone whose letter appears in the column to lurk in the comments and see what you have to say. Because, you know, sometimes your advice is better than mine. Finally, a word to all the anti-choice men out there who were so hurt that I told their girlfriends — imaginary in many instances — to dump them. If you oppose abortion because you believe that “sexual choices should have consequences,” as more than one of you stated (was there a form letter circulating?), then you should be able to wrap your heads around this: Political choices have consequences, too. You can choose to be anti-choice, and women can choose not to date you. Consequences! They’re not just for women anymore! Dear Dan: Your response to My Friend’s Kinky Son struck a chord with me. When I was a preschool kid, my evangelical next-door neighbor presented me with a magnificently illustrated Bible, which I still have. The only part of that Bible that piqued my interest was a graphic image of the Israelites in bondage in Egypt: lots of sweat, whipping and blood. I was excited by this image, and I was only 4 years old! By the time I was a teenager, I was collecting bondage porn (magazines back in those days) and crafting my own bondage gear. Inevitably, my prying mother found my kinky stash. Much shaming and lecturing ensued. It made not a bit of difference: I just got better at hiding my stash. Being berated for one’s sexual preferences by your parents as a child is probably an inevitable part of having BDSM tastes, just as it is for a lot of gay people, but it can’t “change” someone. Likes Irregular Forms of Erotic Release Dear LIFER: Thanks for sharing. Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Have a question for Dan Savage? E-mail him at email@example.com pitch.com MONTH pitch.com O C TO B E R 1 8 - 24 , 2 0 1 2 THE PITCH 37 FREE PARTYLINE 1-712-432-7900 MEET SEXY SINGLES , REAL HORNY LOCAL GIRLS Chat , Connect or Live 1-ON-1! 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