The Avenue | 2011
What I’m Afraid Of
turned again and I thought you were By: Kate Harron doing it on purpose because you were mad about my feet on the dash so I took them down and I opened my eyes and o, I’m not afraid of spiders or you stopped the car. I asked, “What snakes or creepy crawly things. is it and why did we stop?” And you Why not? Because I’m not a girly- said, “Don’t you see?” But I didn’t and girl and because I’m bigger than they are you laughed and said, keep looking. and I could crush them if I wanted to. You turned the headlights on and they But I won’t. And I wouldn’t. That’s what illuminated a dirt path that looked like it could be a driveway but I wasn’t makes me different from you. sure what it was leading to because it So what am I afraid of? You remember that place that you disappeared into the thick green-black took me that time when we had an hour trees. And you said, “Don’t you see?” to kill? The time that we drove along But I didn’t and you laughed and turned that stream and the grass was so green the car back on and pulled up the drive and so high it came up to the windows a bit and…there it was. You got out and and I could almost reach it if I stuck my sat on the bumper and stared dreamily hand out and stretched far enough. And into the quiet but I. couldn’t. move. In the lightning bugs flickered because it the dark, surrounded by the trees, there it was July and the time of day that they was – that big old house. It was far enough back off of the flicker and everything smelled green and road that no one could see it, probably it was beautiful and quiet and I was even in the dead of winter when there happy, so I kicked my shoes off and were no leaves on the trees to help hide it put my bare feet up on and definitely not now the dash. And you got I couldn’t look at that since it was the middle mad so you drove too house for another of July. There was no fast around one of the front porch but it was moment but then...I turns and we almost the kind of house that saw you there on the crashed the car into a ditch because you never bumper, staring away. looked like it should have one – the kind knew when enough was And you were happy. of house that needed enough. Remember that a rocking chair and time? You took me to a an old man with a pipe and a book or place that you told me you loved. It was a block of wood fit to whittle. But the a place that you said was very special space in front was covered with leaves and that you wanted me to see it because and dead bushes that hadn’t been cared I was special too. So we drove down that for and there was no porch. winding road further and further than The row of windows on the first floor I wanted to go because our hour was was probably full of tattered curtains almost up. There was no one in sight. and cobwebs that probably hadn’t been Not for miles. I put my feet back up touched in years. A few windows were on the dash and I stopped caring if you probably broken – the glass scattered were mad because it was beautiful and I on the dead leaves and around the dead closed my eyes and inhaled the sweetness bushes and by the spot where the old man of the twilight grass and stopped caring in his rocking chair should be and it was if we were going to be late because our probably scattered on the floor inside the hour was almost up. And then the car
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