Unknown
Krystal Dumas: Zine Project March 8th, 2013
Journey My life has been a journey. Moving up & down, back & forth, side to side. Taking 2 steps forward, always taking 2 steps back To know what’s happening or going on. My life has been a journey. By the time I was 14 years old— already 5 friends buried under 6 feet. 14 years old with a belly so big they thought I was going to have twins. Some money in my pocket but no where to go. Spending money on drugs to sell to the fiends that been yearning cause my son needed to eat as well. My life has been a journey. Having to swallow a long road in back and headed forward, but still nowhere to think or figure out who I really am. Growing up as a young buck sickly. Ill, burning with a disease. My mind took a breath to know it was relieved. My life has been a journey. Needle in my skin giving me hot flashes of pain. Oxygen as if I wasn’t breathing no more. Wet cloth as if I was ill of cancer. Hospitalized for the 5 pound 10.5 ounces and 21 inches baby coming out of me. Ripping out of me, in loud screams. But ah me, the tears of joy as I saw the pretty light skin, holding close to my cheek. Soft like tissue, but so little and gentle to touch as if you felt a warm soft pillow. My life has been a journey. A journey that I walked for 18 years and will walk for another 18 years and more, on further to better success. Do you want to walk in my shoes? I don't think you do or To the young girls DO YOU REALLY??
Haters Haters are like the crows nagging Or pecking at you when you’re walking down the street. Haters are like a hay stack, Looking for the needle in the middle. Haters are like the army, Only one is trying to come and send colors to your spouse’s house. Haters are like a bee in the Summer trying to get that one flower. In the middle of a whole playfield with a lot of people, And you’re selected out of all the people getting called out. Your hater is that one.
I walked for many miles in my shoes since I was 9 months. These shoes were a size 9 months but when I grew my shoe size grew with my age. I walked to the store on Alaska 32nd St S MLK Way holding onto this short chocolate woman’s hand. She was telling me “Come on Krystal.” Those were my first steps outside. I found out my name was Krystal because the chocolate woman kept calling me by it, so I went with it. I didn’t know where I was walking to; I just followed the chocolate woman. I grew up to be the age 1 so my shoe size was a size 1 ½ but I wasn’t 1 ½. I was only 1. So I was thinking to myself “Why are my shoes bigger than me”? I just pushed my shoes together and took them off, looked at my toes and said to myself "You don’t look that big”. I put my shoes back on to follow the chocolate woman because she used that name again, so I followed. I walked into the kitchen; the chocolate woman was making something smoky on this huge thing, I didn’t know what it was so I was trying to touch it, but the chocolate woman said ,“No, Krystal it’s hot baby girl”. But I didn’t know what she was talking about, so I walked back in with my shoes on and went by her, she said “You hungry, it’s almost done baby”. I grew to a size 3 and I was 6 years old but I was still wondering my age wasn’t matching my shoe size. The chocolate woman turned out to be my mother cause I learned how to say mum-my. But through my ages I learned how to walk, eat, and get dressed, and some more, so my beginning is just the end. And the end is to pass it on to my son. So he can pass it on to tell the journey of how he walked in his shoes, or how many miles can he go without messing up. So I call it My Shoes.
Hate
poem
I hate your breath in the morning time, while you have your socks off and smell like you haven’t washed for days. I hate you and I hate you. But do you think I really hate? No I love you, HAHA Psych. I hate you still. The crackle of your teeth makes me hate you. The way you hold me: I hate you The way we lay together makes me sick: I hate you Take one day at a time. Everyday looking at your face makes me hate you. Your smile: I hate Your big head: I hate Your lips are too big for mine so I hate them just as much as I hate you So after all of this hate, you can say I hate that I love you so much and always will.
Powerless Homeless No sleep Cold, out doors Not enough food Shower (gone) Job No resume No cover letter No money Education No ged-diploma No job No happiness Drugs Fiend/addiction Death/problems with body Emptiness
Powerful Success Money Education Music In my zone Rap/ R&B Big head phones Food Stomach big Satisfied Job (Independent) Money Determine Dedication Home Bed Tooth brush/Tooth paste Water/ shower
Part1. My name My name is the girl that’s been raped. My name is the girl that went to jail. My name is the girl that is gay. To the heartache and the abuse Experienced by the women and girls Who are scared to show their inner Person and by doing so making Themselves a nobody. For no one to claim or enjoy Their laughter. ABANDONED To the pain of the women and girls With the temples of their body And broken mind. ABANDONED My name is the girl that’s been raped. My name is the girl that went to jail. My name is the girl that is gay.
Part 2. I am I am the girl that was selling drugs. To get a little money in my pocket. I am the girl that was beat up for A stupid fucking problem when I Was younger. Through the hurt And pain, I learned how to be a wiser Adult. TRUTH I am an 18 year old young lady, That been through so much wild Trees and bushes. I am a girl that goes to work Every day, to gain more knowledge And get that pay check, building my Education. I am a girl that will school You in some knowledge of Parenting and life. TRUTH I am that girl that got Pregnant at 14 years old. I am that girl that is Taking care of what I have to do. I am that girl that was made fun of. I am that girl that had a painful Disease. I am that girl that had blood on my Lips, face and nose When I was abused by my boyfriend. TRUTH I am that girl —only wiser now. I am that girl that can I say I have low-self esteem But am still beautiful. I am me. TRUTH I am you as one of me. I am very beautiful. I am brave. I am Krystal.