By Kelsey DeClue Ah, the age-old question: to date or not to date a co-worker? On average, we spend about one-third of our lives at work. We’re surrounded by like-minded individuals with whom we most likely have similar interests because we chose the same line of work. So it’s not a stretch that sparks can develop between two people working together 9-to-5. However, as easy as it is to conceive how workplace romances can begin, it’s even easier to realize how problems arise. “As in many things, the workplace dating relationship often is just fine as long as both the relationship and the work are going well,” said John Goll, marriage and family therapist. “When conflict arises in one area however, it very often spills into the other. Work issues spilling into relationships are one thing, but relationship issues that spill into work can get particularly messy. “I have seen many cases where the messy grew to nothing short of devastating for individuals, relationships, families and businesses. The risks are real for both the couple and the business.” Co-workers should strongly weigh the risks and rewards of dating before initiating anything. Most companies have policies regarding interoffice dating and appropriate co-worker interaction. Those policies should be obeyed. “The best case would be for the work relationship and the dating relationship to be entirely separate and each not influenced by the other,” Goll said. “I don’t really think that is possible with human beings, but it may be worthwhile to see that as a goal.”
e we On averag third of e n o t u o spend ab t work. a s e v i l r u o
Goll suggests that co-workers considering an intimate relationship should talk about how they plan to keep their “dating behavior” out of the workplace. “If the couple happens to be in the most uncomfortable and hazardous situation of one being a boss of the other, I believe they should seriously reconsider either the dating relationship or the work position for one or both,” Goll said. “Surviving that kind of situation would be a severe challenge for most any blossoming relationship.”
July 2010 • she magazine
page 21