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Editorial

Hello and welcome to the Summer edition of the RYL eZine! We’re happy to be back with another instalment for you all to get stuck into. After the last issue we received a lot of positive feedback and also some constructive suggestions on how to improve ourselves to accommodate to your needs. We have tried to adapt these to the new issue and hope it is to your liking. Please, as always, let us know what you think, and give any other suggestions you may have. As you will notice, this issue is coming to you in 2 different formats. One is as the original was, but with larger font for those that had trouble last time. The other option is for you to download the whole eZine and peruse at your leisure. Feedback on these formats would be greatly appreciated as we only aim to please you, our readers =) We are aware that a lot of you in the Southern hemisphere will have left Summer behind you by now but we hope you will find this issue just as interesting and entertaining. As for those in the Northern hemisphere I’d like to wish you all a wonderful and safe Summer, whatever you choose to do.

To UK members I’d like to suggest you take a look in the Event&meets board to see the amazing interest we’ve had for RYL picnics. Although the London picnic is currently the only official one, there is a Northern picnic taking place in Manchester for anybody interested and who can’t make it down to London. Both picnics will feature in our next issue. I wish you all a great time to whoever is attending. I want to say a HUGE thank you to the other members of the eZine team for their hard work and dedication. This could not have been possible without them <3 That’s about all from me for now. I hope you enjoy reading this issue and will keep an eye out for the next one. Don’t forget; all comments and suggestions welcome, whether they be positive or negative. Take care, Zed (Joint editor)

CT News Hello! As you may be aware, the CT have planned a giant picnic meet. This will take place on the July the 1st, 2012. Please see the meet thread in the Events & Meet Ups board, which explains a bit more about the meet. We are all very excited for this, and we hope to see you there! The Community Team

Shout outs

To Nina (Nine), From SilentSymphony : 'You are just amazing. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. You listened, gave advice, and were just overall awesome. I can't tell you how much better I felt talking to you. Thank you so much and I wish you all the best in life. <3' ~~~~~~~~~~ From one_step_closer 'Thank you to all of the members of the RYL supporters, you work so hard and are simply fantastic people' ~~~~~~~~~~

To, Everyone at chat (Chels,Katy,china-Doll etc etc) From Dr Watson, "I would like to say a massive thank you to and all those wonderful people in Chat for making me feel so welcome. At first I was a bit scared of venturing into chat, but you were all so lovely and kind, and took me under their wing. Thank you xx" ~~~~~~~~~~ From RisingFromTheAshes12 'I would like to give a shout out to zeddeh for being strong and amazing, jodie (bellatrix) for fighting even when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard, jenna (narcissa) for accepting help, and marie (rodolphus) for just plain being amazing, amy and ritzi for being lovely and helping each other even though things aren't easy. and all my saferoom/vpw/uni student thread/queendom lovelies :) y'all rock :D and everyone else who should know who they are but this is long enough already xD. Love you guys :)' ~~~~~~~~~~ From Scaredy-cat To, kate(drwatson) emma(emmabob) and skye(darknessfan) for making my first meet awesome and being nice to me. ~~~~~~~~~~

From MunchBox (Mary) To Mary, "you're supertastic" To BigMike, "I'm so glad to have a friend like you, you never fail to entertain me with your ridiculously wonderful random PMs or cheer me up with your attentive messages." To one of the coolest threads in GC - "I love you, guys! ^_^" ~~~~~~~~~~ From LavaLamp. To Ilana (Little.ophelia), You are such a beautiful, incredible, strong, funny and caring person. You make me smile with your wit and very educational videos. I'm so glad I'm getting to know and have you as a friend. You are so special, I really hope one day you see how amazing you are! Stay strong. To Ami (Artofdeduction) I can't even expressed how much I've been touched by your support and love. You have got me through some really dark times and you

always seem to know the exact right things to say. You amaze me every single day, love you loads! ~~~~~~~~~~ From Shine. Katy (Dr. Colbertface) – I just wanted to let you know that you are awesome and kind and have a wonderful sense of humour. It was great to see you again recently, I really enjoyed myself and we have to see each other at another point soon! :D Justiene (*~Oblivious.Koala~*) – You’re a beautiful person. Thank you for listening to me babble on the other day. I had a fantastic time seeing you recently, I hope to see you soon! You’re lovely and so, so caring and understanding. I really wish that you could see that <3. Amy (makedamnsure) – Thank you for being there for me as much as you have been. I wish I could see more of you, you’re so amazing and I know that I can rely on you to be there, even though you have so much going on. You’re very strong and such a beautiful person in every single way. Good luck climbing Mount Kilimanjaro!

There are so many other people that have been brilliant to me recently: Jenna (Narcissa), LeClaire (iateallthepies), Ami (ArtOfDeduction), Lydia (Lyddie), Liv (Too Shy), CagedBird, Amy (GlitterTrashDoll), Lillie (Chinahorse)... and everyone else I probably should have mentioned but haven’t. I love you all, too! I think that I’d run out of room if I mentioned everyone who meant a lot to me! Also, Linds (one_step_closer), I know that you feel that things are hopeless right now and that they have been for a while but please keep fighting. You do deserve better things and you’re so kind and have such a lovely nature. I don’t like to see you struggling as much as you are/do. Keep being strong and wonderful! ~~~~~~~~~~ From, Twirly Leo To, Mikey and Hector... 'You guys rock. Thank you both for everything and I couldn't have done anything without you two :D Luff you both ^_^' ~~~~~~~~~~

From anonymous, "Just wanted to shout out to Emma (Pomegranate), Rowie (~Grace~), Lottie (Tig) and Dash (Dash) that I think you're all lovely and to say that you're all in my mind and are very inspiring people. I also wanted to say to Katie (PassedExpectations) that I've noticed how supportive you are around the forums and really wanted that to be recognised - thank you for all you give. Could say the same to lots of RYL-ers, it's great to have been part of such a thoughtful community so well done everyone." ~~~~~~~~~~ From Myimmortalgirl. 'Dear Tig You were there when I needed you and you may not know how much you help me but you do and I love you muchly xx' ~~~~~~~~~~

From Zedebee Firstly want to say a big well done to Katy/Buttons. for being so brave and honest and accepting help *squish* To Mike/Bigmike - I'm sending you lots of virtual cakes =p Thank you for brightening up my dull days and making me smile and laugh and forget about all the woes <3 To Heather/RisingFromTheAshes12 you are so super wonderful and lovely and make me smile lots =) To Katy/Mrs Pixie I just want to send all the love and hugs in the world. We need to have random park and card games time more often, even if you do beat me <3 To Kirsty/Just Believe. I also want to send ALL the love and cuddles. I know we don't talk every day but you're always in my thoughts and I can't wait to meet you. Chin up, beautiful <3

And last but definitely not least, Marie/Riki/Rodolphus - I love you and always will. Keep fighting for blue skies, beautiful one, because they will come <3 ~~~~~~~~~~ From BigMikeTo-Hobbes - You have been an amazing friend to me over the time we have known each other and for that I thank you so much. I know you've been having a pretty rubbish time lately so I just wanted to say you're amazing and I hope you feel better soon, you're an amazing person. To - Ami (ArtOfDeduction) - Ami, you're amazing, pretty and all that good stuff, please remember you're loved by soo many people and i'm always here for you, please try and stay strong and dare to believe things can get better. To - Flem - Really well done to you stopping smoking! You can totally keep it up! Stay strong. To - Everyone on the threads where I frequent -

Thank you all, you have helped me soo much over the past few months with the random chatting, hijacking and whatnot. Thank you all! To - Everyone on RYL - As a lot of you know Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m on RYL pretty much every day so Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen some amazing things on this site, the support you give and the help you all do is amazing, each and every one of you are amazing people and should be proud of yourselves. ~~~~~~~~~~ From Akita To Mike - Boink and thrust. ~~~~~~~~~~ From Sefka To -Tifflehan and Jefferson Meriwether 'You guys turned this whole site around for me, made me feel like I was part of something, like I had friends here. I love you guys so much and you've been such a big part of my recovery and although we've moved on and we're still friends on facebook, I miss the fun times we had on RYL

and I still think about you guys every day. You're my RYL family and I love you to pieces xx.' ~~~~~~~~~~ SRS BSNS shout-outs from Jenna (Narcissa) Jodie (Bellatrix)- Thank you for being amazing. Hold on when you feel like falling; there's so much more to life than this <3 Catherine (Rockyb_123)- why 'aye man. It's been proper mint getting to know you recently [from conversation as well as ALL the stalking :p], and I hope the banter continues. Chin up lass. Kia (TrustingDreams)- I'm still trying to find the right words to make you see that you're so much more than you realise, but for now, YOU'RE AWESOME. I hope one day you'll see yourself the way I do. Thank you for always being there <3 To all my beautiful spamlings, QKs, heroes and members of The ED Recovery Bandwagon- thank you for making my world a shinier, happier and more positive place <3

Article â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Covering up in Summer

So, lovely people in the northern hemisphere, as you may know summer is fast approaching, and with it all the usual woe and anxiety about covering up, going swimming and showing scars. However, all is not lost! As is usual at this time of year, the SH support board is full of threads asking about how to cover up during summer. We at the eZine decided to compile what we thought was the most useful advice, and put it somewhere where everyone could read it. Without further ado, I present to youâ&#x20AC;ŚThe Official RYL Guide to Summer!

As always, my first port of call would be to tell someone about your self harming. Trust me, it’s much easier if someone knows, so you don’t have to worry or go it alone. However, if you’re not in a place where you can tell someone you trust, here are our handy cover-up tips! For Arms - Arm warmers; these are very useful, but they’re not to everyone’s tastes. They can be considered a bit…young. - Chunky bracelets, or lots of beaded ones put together; a generally foolproof and stylish way to get around small areas of scarring. - Dermablend; a type of waterproof makeup available in both the UK and the US. Although I personally have no experience with this, other members tell me that it works to hide scars if it is matched to your skin tone. If you are in the UK, it can also be free on the NHS. - Long sleeved rash tops for swimming; these also prevent you getting sunburnt on hot days! - Sweat bands work well to hide scars in small spaces, as generally people won't ask why you are wearing them.

- For more formal occasions, I suggest gloves. I'm going to my high school prom this year, and I'm wearing elbow length gloves with my dress. They look stylish and elegant, and cover all my scars on my arms! For Legs - Skin coloured/tan tights are a life saver for older scars. If your cuts are newer, they might not hide them so well though, so beware. - Board shorts are in fashion for swimming, and longer ones will cover the whole of your upper legs. - Combat trousers are ace in hot weather; they keep you cool, prevent cuts getting ‘sticky’ or infected, and also cover up. - You can go all '80s and rock leg warmers if you like, but these might get a bit hot. - 3/4 length trousers look stylish, and they also cover up cuts and scars lower down your legs. WARNING: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try and hide fresh cuts with makeup. From personal experience, it doesn’t cover them well anyway, and is also a quick road to infection. Foundation

or dermablend is fine on healed scars, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put anything on fresher wounds. It is a BAD. IDEA. Avoid materials like nylon and acrylic on healing wounds â&#x20AC;&#x201C; these tend to make you sweat more, and more prone to infection/generally being uncomfortable. Stick to natural materials like cotton, which are light and airy, and you should be fine. Bio-oil and Vitamin E cream are reported to reduce redness and raised up scars. However, do not apply products such as Bio-oil to open wounds, and don't expect results over night. These creams can be expensive, but you get a lot of use out of them, so it makes up the cost. Anecdotally, if you use something like Bio-oil for a few months continuously, you'll see results. Of course, this is more of a long term fix, but there's always next summer! You can buy the things mentioned above from places like Superdrug/Boots (Wal-Mart/Walgreens/CVS in the USA). That seems to be it for now, folks. Of course, the

most important tip of all for summer is to enjoy yourself! Do things you like doing, laugh lots, see friends and have fun! I wish you all the best of luck, and hope you have the best summer imaginable! PS. I realise that this article is remarkably biased towards our members in the UK and US. Have a good winter, Australia, New Zealand, and everyone in the southern hemisphere! DrWatson

Fashion and make up for the Summer Dip-dye for the summer!

Dip-dyed hair is HUGE this summer and has been all over the catwalks, magazines and even Tumblr since the New Year. Here's how to get this gorgeous look for your own hair in three easy and convenient ways. 

Take the plunge and dye it. If you have light hair it'll be easier to get the dip-dyed look than for anyone with dark hair. For light hair you can get straight to dying, but for darker hair you will need to use a bleach first. A good one is Garnier Nutrisse Pre-Lightener (£5.10). Use various colours! A good product to use for this can be LaRiche Directions hair dye (£5.00)

or Manic Panic hair dye (£9.95). Both are available from Blue Banana. When you're ready to dye your hair backcomb the ends of your hair and then paint on the colour. You backcomb to blur the edges of the colour so you don't get a sharp looking line. Continue to do this and follow the instructions on whatever dye you decide to use and be happy with your new hair style! 

If you don't want to take the plunge and dye it, you can "fake" it! There are various ways you can do this, you could buy some clip-in extensions or use a spray or gel. Dip-dyed clipin extensions aren't easy to come by (trust me I've looked) and although I reckon the high street shops will be selling them soon, you can cheaply do them yourself at home, using some spray/gel. This is just if you don't wish to put these products on your own hair. Buy some cheap clip-in extensions (Claire's Accessories, Primark etc) which match your hair colour and then get your spray/gel. One brand available from Boots are Colour Xtreme which comes in both a spray (£4.07) and gel (£5.10). These come in various colours of pink, green, orange (spray only), purple (spray only), white (spray only), black, red and blue. Another brand to look at are Colour FX, which

is available to buy at Superdrug. They offer a spray (£3.59) and gel (£3.09) version too like Colour Xtreme. They offer various more colours than Colour Xtreme and here is a link to these for you to go and look at. Getting the look with hair spray/gel is much more straight forward than dying it and in that sense, is quicker too. For spray you want to apply the spray to the ends of your hair and leave to dry before brushing through with a soft bristled brush. Add another layer of the spray to increase the colour. If you are using two colours leave some parts of your hair to spray with this and repeat and then your done. And what makes this better is if you don't like it, it's easily washed out! 

Another way you can get this style of hair if you do want it to be permanent but you're too worried about doing it yourself, go to your hairdresser!

Hope to see some people trying this hair style out this summer, I know I will be, but with the non permanent method. :P Picture link Advice about dying hair taken from Company Magazine May 2012 Issue. Advice about spraying hair taken from Colour Xtreme website.

Summer accessories with a meaning behind them.

There's nothing people love more than accessories and what better than bracelets with a meaning behind them. Never Take It Off is a brand that makes beautiful bracelets (and some necklaces) that you make a vow to yourself as you put it the bracelet on. Here is a quote from their website about their brand: Quote: The NTIO brand is a stand alone and not affiliated with any exclusive band, person, artist or cause but provides a way to easily support or promote

all Artists, Bands, Causes, and Designers and Events by providing a simple artistic and meaningful way to promote those brands. The NTIO Vow Bracelets were created to support Artists, Bands, Causes, Designers and Events with a message of hope, humour, help and happiness <3 for every wearer and the artists who created them. I discovered this company through Automatic Loveletter/Juliet Simms, a band/artist from America (go look them up!) and they make these gorgeous bracelets where when you put them on you make yourself a vow and you have to stick to it and never take the bracelet off. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d heard about this idea and brand from Automatic Loveletterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Facebook like page for ages but every time I had intended to go on their website and look at their bracelets Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never got around to it, until a month ago. I've been wearing my bracelet for about three weeks now and I love it, every time I look at my bracelet I think of the vow I made and I realise that I will one day get to where I want to, the vow I made being, "Do whatever it takes to make you happy and get to where you want to in life."

As well as looking beautiful, the bracelets have a beautiful meaning behind them and I thought you guys would be interested in this companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s idea, especially any members who are trying to be free from SH, ED or anything else. The website offers LOADS of different designs of bracelet and yes, their prices are in $'s but you can pay through PayPal and they deliver to the UK, in fact all over the world! I can see this not being my first Never Take It Off bracelet, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re gorgeous bracelets and I love the meaning behind them and I hope you guys do too! Website. Shop. Facebook. Field Of Paper Flowers

Summer Make-Up Eyes

Sleek are a great high street brand that won't break you bank but deliver high quality products. This is one of their many palettes; this one in particular is aptly named 'Sunset'. The palette is a mix of highly pigmented shimmery and matte eye shadows in a beautiful arrange of colours that would be perfect for summery days and nights. All you would need to do is add a touch of eyeliner to add the smoky feeling to turn these beautiful colours into smouldering night time make-up. From the vivid blues and golds to the deep reds and blacks there is something for everyone. These palettes sell for ÂŁ6. Sleek counters can be found in most Superdrug stores.

Lips

Generally, the rule when applying make-up is either have the focus on your lips or your eyes. So if you have a dark eye, have a nude lip. Or if you have a bright or dark lipstick on, then have a simple nude eye. So, this brings me to this lipstick. If you aren't an eye shadow person and much prefer your lips to be the main focus, then this summer why not try either a pink or an apple red? These are both Kat Von D lipsticks from her makeup line with Sephora. Unfortunately these are only really available from Sephora stories in the US. However, you can get them on eBay, but you have to be ready to pay a fair price for them. I paid ÂŁ50 for 6 mini lipsticks in a set on eBay. The red in this photo is a beautiful apple red with a metallic finish, which is called Foiled Lipstick and the shade pictured is 'Adora'. The second is a beautiful bright pink which is matte and the shade is called 'Backstage Bambi'. These lipsticks are creamy and stay on for hours. The packaging is black with a rose design around in Kat Von D style and are adorable in your make-up bag.

Nails

When it comes to Summer - you can't go wrong with pastel shades for your nails! Barry M does a beautiful range of summery colours, in almost every colour you could want. Barry M products are well known for their high quality products that last, and just like Sleek, they don't break the bank either. At only ÂŁ4 for a nail polish, you can't go wrong.

With all these beautiful nail polishes, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re no doubt going to want to change your nail polish a lot in order to wear all these fabulous colours this summer. Removing nail polish can be a tedious job that takes a fair while to get all the polish off. So Bourjois have come up with this little beauty. It's the 1 second nail polish remover. Simply pop your finger in the hole, twist and in literally a few seconds the polish is gone! The best part is when your nails have dried, instead of the strong nail polish smell; they smell of vanilla and berries! This is a dream for anyone who loves changing their nail polish often; I managed to do all 10 fingers in less than 1 minute! This retails for around ÂŁ5 from Boots and Superdrug. GlitterTrashDoll

Recipes Mango Smoothie!

What better way to cool down in the garden and get 1 of your 5 a day than with a delicious mango smoothie and it is really simple to make too! Makes 1. Ingredients: 1 ripe mango, peeled, stoned and sliced. 1 tsp clear honey. 200ml/7fl oz freshly squeezed orange juice. 2 tbsp natural yogurt.

Now, time to make it! 

Put the mango, honey, orange juice and yogurt into a tall beaker. Using a hand held-stick blender, process until smooth. Pour into a glass and serve immediately. And voila, you're done!

Recipe taken from Student Cookbook 100 Everyday Recipes by Love Food. Picture link.

Bean Burgers!

This recipe is for vegetarians, the burgers are easy to make and although they are not cooked on the BBQ they can be done easily and quickly! Makes 6. Ingredients: 400g/14oz canned cannellini beans, drained and rinsed. 2 tbsp red pesto. 75g/2 3/4oz fresh wholemeal breadcrumbs. 1 egg. 2 tbsp olive oil. 1/2 small red onion, finely chopped.

1 garlic clove, crushed. 6 granary rolls (or white if you want those instead). 6 tsp hummus. Salt and pepper. Cucumber slices, tomato slices and lettuce leaves, to serve. Now, time to make them! 

Mash the beans with a potato masher in a bowl until they are smooth, then add the pesto, breadcrumbs, egg and salt and pepper to taste and mix well. Heat half the oil in a non-stick frying pan over a low heat and cook the onion and garlic until soft. Add to the bean mixture and mix well. Heat the remaining oil in the frying pan. Spoon in the bean mixture, in 6 separate mounds, then press each one down with the back of a spoon to form a burger. Cook the burgers for 4-5 minutes, then carefully turn over and cook for a further 4-5 minutes, until golden. Meanwhile, slice the rolls in half and spread the bottom half of each roll with a teaspoon of hummus. Remove the burgers from the frying pan and drain on kitchen paper. Place each one in a

roll, and top with the cucumber slices, tomato slices and lettuce leaves. Serve immediately. And voila, you're done! Recipe taken from Student Cookbook 100 Everyday Recipes by Love Food. Picture link.

Chicken Kebabs with Yogurt Sauce!

Everyone loves chicken and what better to make than these chicken kebabs with a cooling yogurt sauce for those warm days. Makes 4. Ingredients: 300ml/10fl oz Greek-style yogurt. 2 garlic cloves, crushed. Juice if 1/2 lemon. 1 tbsp chopped fresh herbs such as oregano, dill, tarragon or parsley. 4 large skinned, boned chicken breasts. Oil, for oiling. 8 firm stems of fresh rosemary (optional). Salt and pepper.

Lemon wedges, to garnish. Shredded romaine lettuce and rice, to serve. Now, time to make them! 

To make the sauce, put the yogurt, garlic, lemon juice, herbs, salt and pepper in a large bowl and mix well together. Cut the chicken breasts into chunks measuring about 4cm/1 1/2 inches square. Add to the yogurt mixture and toss well together until the chicken pieces are coated. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator for about 1 hour. If you are using wooden skewers, soak them in cold water for 30 minutes before use. Preheat the grill. Thread the pieces of chicken onto 8 flat, oiled, metal kebab skewers, wooden skewers or rosemary stems and place on an oiled griddle pan. Cook the kebabs under the grill for about 15 minutes, turning and basting with the remaining marinade occasionally, until lightly browned and tender. Pour the remaining marinade into the saucepan and heat gently but do not boil. Serve the kebabs with shredded lettuce on a bed of rice and garnish with lemon wedges. Accompany with the yogurt sauce.

And voila, you're done! Recipe taken from Chicken 100 Everyday Recipes by Love Food. Picture link.

'99' Cupcakes!

Relive your childhood summer days of running to the ice cream van in you street for a '99' with this cupcakes. Makes 8. Ingredients: 175g/6oz butter, softened, or soft margarine. 175g/6oz caster sugar. 3 eggs, lightly beaten. 1 tsp vanilla extract. 150g/5 1/2 oz self-raising flour. 55g/2oz ground almonds.

For the butter cream: 225g/80z unsalted butter, softened. 1 tbsp cream of milk. 350g/12oz icing sugar. To decorate: 12 mini chocolate flakes (or Cadbury Flakes =P) Hundreds and thousands. Now, time to make them! 

Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4. Put 8 paper cases in a muffin tray. Place the butter and caster sugar in a large bowl and beat together until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in the eggs and vanilla extract. Sift the flour and, using a metal spoon, fold gently into the mixture with the ground almonds. Spoon the mixture into the paper cases. Bake in the preheated oven for 20-25 minutes, or until risen, golden and firm to the tough. Transfer to a wire rack and leave to cool. To make the butter cream, place the butter in a bowl and beat with an electric mixer for 2-3 minutes, until pale and creamy. Beat in the cream, then gradually sift in the icing sugar

ď&#x201A;ˇ

and continue beating for 2-3 minutes, until the butter cream is light and fluffy. Spoon the butter cream into a large piping bag fitted (you don't have to use a piping bag if you don't have one) with a large star nozzle. Pipe swirls of butter cream on top of each cupcake to resemble ice cream. Press a chocolate flake into each swirl of butter cream and scatter with hundreds and thousands. And voila, you're done!

Recipe taken from The Cupcake by Love Food. Picture link. Field Of Paper Flowers

Creative pieces from members

Ark We were placed in our little world against our will. It was a kindness by our keepers; our gods. Earth is gone. Perhaps that rock we called Earth is still spinning that old familiar star that was the sun we called ours. But Earth is a human name for the world that was our home and there are no humans any more. Except we two, she and I. I don't know how it happened but I'll never forget that day. It was spring, a Thursday, not that day mean anything anymore. The news had been filled with all the usual stuff, a war here, a famine there, things that I am now ashamed to say I didn't pay much attention to as they had become everyday

and mundane. There was nothing to indicate it was going to be the last day of humanity. Then...it was like the sky fell. I remember a flash of light, then came the screams and the fire and then â&#x20AC;&#x201C; nothing. Then we woke here. She and I who'd never met before in our lives. All we had in common was finding ourselves in this place. Those first hours were filled with confusion and fear and we searched our surroundings for signs of other people and some clue as to where we were. This place, wherever it was, was pleasant enough. It was like an unspoiled forest with many tall trees that hung heavy with all kinds or fruit from simple apples to sweet mangos. Trees and plants that always hung heavy with fruit. No matter how much we pick when we wake the next day they are always heavy with their bounty once again. The grass is always soft, the days bright and warm and the water that flows through the stream that provides our water is always fresh, clean, cool and crisp. It was a piece of paradise that was given to just we two, She and I. It was days before we found out who had done this and why. How best to describe our keepers? It's hard

because we never really see them. They look down above us, like gods on high as though our sky were their window. Maybe it is. All we see are shadowed and featureless forms and all we here are voices that sound like laughter. We've heard them often but only seen their shadows in the sky a handful of times over â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I don't know how long. We've long lost track of the days. Maybe months. Perhaps years. We call them our keepers, as in zoo-keepers. I think somewhere in our hearts we knew what it was from the beginning. She and I were chosen, maybe on purpose maybe at random, who can guess at the motives of the gods? From the billions on earth we were saved, like the animals that were taken two by two into Noah's ark. She and I are the last humans. I remember the fire. The screams still haunt my dreams sometimes. If humans didn't die hat day they didn't survive long after. We rarely talk about what was, the memories can just be too painful. We sometimes discuss what is and, on rare occasions, what may be. Are we zoo specimens taken to preserve the last two of an all but extinct race by benevolent people of the stars

and their mysterious ark? Are we perhaps some kind of lab rats, part of an experiment? I cannot imagine the purpose of this experiment but then again, the muse never knows why its been put into the maze. As far as we explore, She and I, we never find an end to this world we have been given. If this is a cage it is one of infinite size. Always the shadows and laughter of our eternal watchers can appear over us at any time. We can no longer say how long we've been here. We think years because it is kinder than decades. Nothing changes in our private world. Time does not pass. Each day the same. Fruit does not fall to the ground or spoil. It waits to be picked and is replaced the next day. We do not age. No wrinkle, grey hair or blemish ever touches us. We don't get sick, not even a sore throat. There is a sadness though, we cannot bear children. Our keepers have stopped such things. She and I have been given an eternity together as just we two. I feel though it would be an eternity well spent, even with our constant watchers. From first sight we felt for each other. Circumstance drew us together but attraction and affection gave us

more. Her silken hair, her shining eyes, her birdsong voice. From the first I had nothing but adoration for this finest of women, this sweetest of souls. Did it happen by chance, or by design of our keepers? Did they plan for love? Or are theirs clinical minds which only thought of the preservation of two random humans? And does it matter? No. Perhaps they were being kind. Perhaps they did it to simply preserve the last of an extinct species. Specimens for a zoo. Perhaps they care for our health and happiness. Perhaps to them we are just odd creatures that caper for their entertainment. They watch us and they laugh. I don't care, for we have something that puts all their mysterious choices and unknown motives in the shade. Evening is my favourite time when the sky dims and there are no shadows or laughter from our keepers. I can imagine the gods are busy with other things, leaving us a little privacy. And even if I'm wrong, they only see our bodies, and what are bodies? Mere shells. Our world may be a fish-bowl, we may be the last

of our kind, our bodies artificially preserved, our needs seen to by hidden keepers with unknown reasons who watch from on high behind their windows made of sky. But I think we are the lucky ones. Outside the gods have only their laughter. While inside, we have love. ~ Feel_Good_Inc

Heat beats down on me Cool water refreshes me Kisses from the sun ~ SilentSymphony

Book Review

If you haven't heard of this book already then you have been hiding under a rock that doesn't allow the internet, as Wreck This Journal is all over the interweb right now, especially Tumblr. Don't worry if you aren't sure what Wreck This Journal is, because I am going to tell you! Wreck This Journal is a book by Keri Smith that has become very popular since its release in 2010. The title of the book says it all, you wreck it! You don't read it, you grab your pencil crayons, felt tips, office supplies, mud, string, glue EVERYTHING you'll need to wreck your journal.

After seeing pictures of people's journals all around Tumblr and how much fun it looks, I decided to buy one myself. I paid less than ÂŁ6 for it from Amazon and I couldn't wait for it to arrive in the post and the moment it did, I was opening it up and letting my creative juices flow. Here are a couple of some examples of what I was asked to do and what I did:

Wreck This Journal involves DAYS of fun and things you would never imagine doing with a book. As well as being fun, it is a great way to take your mind off of things and especially great for the creative person like myself. For less than ÂŁ6 it is definitely worth the money, pick up your copy today and see for yourself. Amazon.co.uk Play.com

Field Of Paper Flowers

Games review The ElderScrolls V-Skyrim.

For those of you who might not have heard of The Elder Scrolls V-Skyrim, it's a massive open world role playing game (RPG) that will stun you and challenge you like not many other games do, In Skyrim you'll find yourself fighting creatures, dragons and fellow people to progress in the game. You'll have to use skills such as lock picking and magic to get from A to B, Getting from A to B couldn't be more fun with the beautiful hillsides and county to admire and enjoy.

At a distance the graphics of the game are pretty stunning and beautiful but getting up close then you start to see the rough edges around that map, but if you don't look too close it is a stunning game so don't let the roughness put you off. The combat in Skyrim is also a thing of beauty with a lot of button bashing and blocking using you shield, you have to make sure you pick the right weapon for the job though; you don't want to bring a bow and arrow to a sword and magic fight. The music of the game really does add an atmosphere of suspense to the game, when you get to certain points in the game a sound might start playing to keep you on the edge of your seat and it does work, you'll start to think there's something around the corner waiting to kill you or some creature is going to pop out of nowhere to fight you so you'll be keeping your eye out all the time. With there being so much stuff for you to upgrade, like how you fight for the power of your magic, you'll find yourself upgrading the things

you use most like 'one-handed combat' or your stamina, you can upgrade your character so it suits the way you play the game. This is a really beautiful game that will keep you entertained for many hours but if you're new to this kind of game then it will be hard for you to get into it, all the options of upgrading etc is really good but I found it very confusing, like I didn't know what was worth upgrading and what wasn't but if you put enough time and patience into the game you'll soon find what suits you then you can upgrade accordingly. Apart from the few negative points like the graphics and it being very confusing to new players it's very much worth buying or at least checking out as it will keep you entertained for many hours with all the missions and side quests there are to do.

Ninja Chicken.

In Ninja Chicken you play as 'The funky chicken who thought he was a ninja' due to an accident. The poor chicken has dementia thus making him think he's a ninja chicken. The aim of this game is to go out and prove to all the other chickens just how ninja you are, by going along the map jumping and ducking over and under hay bales while you collect acorns and coins. With there being 30 challenging missions to complete it's a game that will keep you busy for a good amount of time, with the pretty graphics

and somewhat amusing chicken it will keep you entertained and happy for an hour or so. I started playing this game about a week ago and I still go back to it every now and again to see if it can get past each level as it is quite hard, well I think it is, with this being a free game on Android it's well worth a look.

Bigmike

Gig review Lostprophets 23rd April 2012, o2 Academy Birmingham.

At the beginning of 2012 Lostprophets announced the tour for their fifth album Weapons, which came out on 2nd April 2012. The tour included fifteen dates, Birmingham being one of them and of course I wouldn't miss it. I went to see Lostprophets with a big group of fans from all over the UK, after being part of a community online with them for a number of years. It was great to finally put faces to names and we all had an amazing time, even before the gig started.

Four of us waited outside in the huge queue, hoping we would get to the barrier and discussing what songs we were looking forward to hearing. Due to this being the sixth show on the tour we already knew what the set list was from previously attending a show on the tour or from hearing about it on Twitter/Tumblr. The set list was amazing and included plenty of tracks from Weapons and Start Something and some odds and ends from Fake Sound of Progress, Liberation Transmission and The Betrayed. We finally got inside from the chilly breeze and ran straight to the barrier, we were lucky as we didn't start queuing until around 6pm. We waited there patiently for the support act, Modestep to come on. I had heard a lot of mixed reviews about them due to their genre of music (dub step/electronic rock) but personally I enjoy this music to a certain level, but I had also heard they were very loud. Sadly Birmingham didn't get to experience this due to their drummer injuring his foot, so they couldn't

play live, but they did an amazing job. Their set list was great and the singer got the crowd going by jumping around, creating mosh pits and generally having a great time. I know I enjoyed the show and their music reminded me of L'Amour La Morgue, Ian Watkins’s side-project who remix songs together and I'm pretty sure I heard Modestep use some of their tracks. Nonetheless, they were amazing and a comical part of their set was the drummer on the left hand side (where we were stood) with his crutches dancing along to their set, was great to see. After Modestep had finished their set, the stage was busy with instrument testers coming on and off stage to make sure that mics, guitars, Jamie Oliver’s keyboard and Luke “Jocko” Johnson’s drum kit were all in working order. Then as soon as they were gone from the stage, we knew it would be time soon and as every show before the main band comes on there were chants from various parts of the crowds in the pit and in the seating area above us for the boys to hurry and come on stage.

Finally, they answered our calls and came on, starting the show with â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bring 'Em Downâ&#x20AC;?, Lostprophets first single from Weapons. The audience sang loud and proud, cheering, clapping and counting down as the song came to an end, only to be followed by a round of applause, more cheers and whistles. The set list was amazing, the band had asked the fans via Facebook and Twitter about what songs we wanted to hear on the tour and they delivered. The set list was amazing, with as I mentioned earlier a bit of everything from all five albums. With some of the songs Ian would bring out a white megaphone to sing through and use for certain songs, this is something they haven't done before and I thought it added a lovely touch. As well as this the boys were also wearing matching denim shirts, white shoes and black trousers. Halfway through their set they took off the shirts to reveal matching white shirts. I don't recall them every doing this before and it added a nice touch.

I very much loved Ian's white Doc Martens, which I now want a pair of. I think the songs that stood out most to me were Lostprophets cover of “Sweet Child O' Mine” which introduced “Where We Belong”, which fit really well. “4:AM Forever” came on afterwards and due to the song meaning so much to me, I couldn't wait to hear it live again and myself and one of the girls I was with cried as we sang along to the lyrics. Throughout the show, as we were stood in front of Lee Gaze on the left, Stuart Richardson was stood next to him, Stu would often come and stand in front of us and pose for our cameras, which was amazing of him to do. He waited for the flash to go off too before he moved to change his pose for another camera or to go back to another part of the stage. The boys looked happy, but concentrated on the job at hand, to play their songs beautifully. All their songs were played for perfection, as the boys have always played at every show I have

attended so far. As always they got the crowd going, getting their voices to sing louder as each song was started and finished, mine began to hurt as we were halfway through “Rooftops” and there were another five songs to get through yet. This didn't even include the encore that we were yet to have. “Burn Burn” was the last song Lostprophets played before their encore and as always whenever they have played it the crowd went crazy with people jumping, screaming, singing, cheering, and shouting, all whilst their fists were in the air. The song was amazing and not long after the boys finished and was off the stage the audience were cheering in unison, "We want more, we want more." Lostprophets delivered and came on to start playing “We Are Godzilla, You Are Japan” which at the previous six shows I have attended has been screamed for every show. We got it this time and Lostprophets were making sure we never asked for it again or at least for quite a long time. Ian used his megaphone to create noises that appear

on the song and it worked perfectly. The crowd were screaming the lyrics, pumping their fists into the air and jumping around like there was no tomorrow. The song was perfect, nothing could have made it anymore perfect, but then Lostprophets outdid themselves, as they have done and do each time I have seen them and not only did they end the song with “Kobrakai's” outro but they finished the show with “Sway”. Like “4:AM Forever”, “Sway” also means a lot to me and is also a song Lostprophets rarely play live. The only other time I have seen them perform it was back in 2006 when I first saw them live. The song was beautiful and sounded dramatically different than it does on the album, Start Something. After Ian's singing came to an end the boys one by one left the stage, leaving Jamie Oliver last to keep the song’s beautiful instrumental going and the lights in the room going up and a round of applause, whistles and the occasionally shouting of, "We love you (followed by a certain band members name, if not the band)."

The show was amazing, beautiful and what I expect it to be and more. But that wasn't the end of neither mine, nor my friends evenings as afterwards we went outside to try and meet the boys. We succeeded but only Stu, Mike Lewis and Jocko came out to see us, but we didn't complain as Jamie was in bed with a migraine, Lee went home and Ian wasn't very well. It was a wonderful day and I'll hold the memories I have from it before, during and after the show close to my heart. This is the set list from the Birmingham show: Bring 'Em Down It's Not the End of the World, But I Can See It from Here Better Off Dead Can't Catch Tomorrow (Good Shoes Won't Save You This Time) A Town Called Hypocrisy Another Shot Make a Move

(Sweet Child O' Mine Intro) Where We Belong 4:AM Forever Jesus Walks Last Summer Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast) Shinobi Vs. Dragon Ninja We Bring An Arsenal To Hell We Ride Last Train Home Burn Burn Encore: We Are Godzilla, You Are Japan (Kobrakai Outro) Sway This was my seventh time seeing Lostprophets and it certainly isn't my last. Lostprophets announced more dates for the Weapons Tour on Tuesday (8th May) and of course I wouldn't miss this for the world. I'm going to the Wolverhampton date on 1st November 2012, so I hope to see you there!

Weapons is available to buy on Amazon UK, iTunes UK, HMV and Play.com now. The dates for the November tour, all tickets available from Ticketmaster and the arena websites: Wolverhampton Civic Hall (November 1st 2012) Preston 53 Degrees (November 2nd 2012) O2 Academy Sheffield (November 3rd 2012) Edinburgh HMV Picture House (November 5th 2012) Inverness Ironworks (November 6th 2012) O2 Apollo Manchester (November 8th 2012) Portsmouth Guildhall (November 9th 2012) London Alexandra Palace (November 10th 2012) Norwich UEA (November 12th 2012) Lincoln Engine Shed (November 13th 2012) Newport Centre (November 14th 2012) Picture taken from youngscot.org Field Of Paper Flowers

Movie review Keith

Keith is an independent film released in 2008 and directed by Todd Kessler. It is about two teenagers, Keith (played by Jesse McCartney) and Natalie (Elisabeth Harnois). Keith is a guy who lives every day as it comes and makes no plans for the future, Natalie is a girl who is aiming for a tennis scholarship at one of the best

and most expensive colleges. This film may sound like a standard high school romance, however it's not. This is a moving and touching film about a girl who thinks she has the perfect life and haves everything figured out until she falls for a guy who has nothing to lose. Keith keeps holding more and more back from his new friend, which in turn makes her more and more intrigued about the boy who lives life one day at a time and takes everything in his stride. You will start questioning, who is this guy? Why is he acting like this? It will feel sort of like an Enigma. But you will understand and the reasoning will move you. But the director eventually lets you in on Keithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life and the secrets, but it is worth the wait, as you follow Natalee around and discover things as she does. This wonderful, moving and heartfelt film is full of twists which you wouldn't see coming and that will change their lives forever, and will touch you more than you would think.

This film is full of raw emotion and will make you laugh and cry and inspire you to grab life with both hands and live it to the full. It will give you a new outlook on life. Jesse McCartney is such an amazing actor in it and makes the character feel real and brings the role to life. It doesn't, in anyway, have a 'Hollywood' feel about it that so many films have now. This is the kind of movie that makes you remember to cherish every second, to leave a mark on life of every person, to have no time to waste. This film is so very well written that, in fact, it just feels real. It makes you feel involved in the characters and become so invested in these imperfect characters in their journey to discover love, truth, themselves, and each other. Remember, The Sky is the Limit GlitterTrashDoll

Competition This moth we have introduced the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;LOLcats caption contestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Due to the interest we generate from this contest, we will be continuing it into the next issue. Please send your votes to Zedebee.

By, SilentSymphony

By, LavaLamp.

By, Bigmike.

By Twirly Leo.

We would like to thank Feel Good Inc. for letting us use his idea.

Our month in photos

GlitterTrashDoll

This month last year

This month last year marked a load of life changes for me. I'd just finished university, had sadly broken up with my then boyfriend whom I'd been with for nearly 4 years and I was starting to get to know my new/now group of friends by going out during the day and especially going clubbing. Since then a lot of changes have happened in my life from good to bad but of late things have seemed to get better. May 2011 was a scary and exciting time. As I said I finished university and this was a huge step in my life. I was soon to discover that I was graduating

with a 2:1. Three years of my life had paid off and I couldn't be happier. On 4th May my last assignment was handed in and a week previous my 11,000 word dissertation had been too. My best and closest friends finished university this week (Tuesday 22nd) and I'm extremely proud of them all. To anyone here who has recently finished university, I give you a huge well done and if I could, a huge slice of cake as I know how tough university can be and how stressful you will feel until you discover what grade you will be graduating university with. Trust me don't worry, I'm sure you have all done amazingly! A sad part of this time last year had to happen mind and me and my ex parting way was an upsetting time but it needed to happen and as much as I do still miss him, we're best friends and he means the world to me as a friend, and as someone I loved. Always remember if you and someone who you love(d) happen to part ways, think of it as there is someone else out there for you and it might not happen as soon as you want

it to but it will happen. I'm still single a year on and personally I'm not too fussed about getting a new partner anytime soon, but of course it would be nice. I know it's not a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;this month last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; but in July 2011 I started to claim job seekers. I wasn't able to find any work and the last of my student loan was beginning to run out. I couldn't rely on my family to keep me, it wasn't the way I was so I had nothing left to do then start visiting my local job centre every fortnight, whilst I looked and applied for work. Sadly I didn't get anything, not even an interview until this week. I had an interview on Thursday (24th) and today (27th) I heard from the woman who interviewed me telling me the amazing news that she's hiring me. I'm extremely happy and excited and I can't wait to start working, even if it is only a 2 day a week job! Working is better than being on job seekers. This time last year I was crying and getting myself upset at the thought of having to start signing on and it made me ill the thought of being stuck on that for God knows how many years, but now 10

months on I now have a job. An official job and I'm extremely happy. This is something else that just goes to prove that things are definitely worth the wait. Sorry for my ramble with this month last year, but a lot has happened to me this past year and I felt I had to share as even when things are bad they get better, always remember that guys and girls of RYL. <3

Field Of Paper Flowers

Moving forward highlights

Welcome to the summer edition of the eZine and Junes Moving Forward Highlights! I hope many of you will find inspiration in the accomplishments of other members in the RYL community and this will shine a ray of hope on your journey to recovery. It’s always wonderful to hear the achievements of others, no matter how big or small, and share useful tips for the rocky roads we all have face. Rather than sweeping through the ‘Moving forward’ board and plucking out bits that struck me, I gave members the opportunity to put forward their own contributions and give

themselves a sense of pride. It’s always a sweet rush when we have made it through an hour, a day, a week, month, year or even 5 years without inflicting more pain on ourselves and not everyone in our day to day worlds will always share the same buzz as you when you share your news. This is just one of the reasons why I, personally, think it’s great that we can print your hard work in the eZine and offer a warm hand of congratulations. Documenting the positive changes you have put in place for yourself is an important part of the recovery process because you have this evidence to present to yourself when you’re low or disheartened to prove that healthy choices are possible and things won’t always be so bad. On behalf of the eZine staff and RYL I’d like to congratulate the following members: 

Snow white (Aimee) for being four years selfharm free. Buttercup (jess) for managing to stay out of hospital for five months, the longest she has been out for four years. Bigmike (Mike) for being 64 days free of any kind of self-harm.

ď&#x201A;ˇ

Silentsymphony for being a month and a half free from self-harm.

Well done to anyone else celebrating an achievement that hasn't been mentioned! Stay strong and take good care. LavaLamp.

Signature of the month

by: CrazyKat

This signature has been picked because of its positivity, and we love that here at the eZine headquarters! It reminds you that when things get tough, just keep your head high and carry one and follow you dream and everything will be fine. We love the message behind this picture. If you want to be in with a chance of being next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Signature of the Month, then get creative!

Remember, it doesn't need to be busy and full of colour to win. It can win because it's funny, inspiring, creative or just shows off your personality! Remember as well, when it comes to signatures, they also help other members remember who you are because they remember a phrase or a picture in your signature! Have fun getting creative! GlitterTrashDoll

Random facts

(Google images)

Fact 1 - In England, it is illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day! Fact 2 - You cannot snore and dream at the same time. Fact 3 - By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds. Fact 4 - 60% North Indians are pure vegetarian and in whole India 36%. Fact 5 - The Bible is the most-shoplifted book in the world. Fact 6 - July is National Ice Cream Month Fact 7 - Watermelon is a vegetable, not a fruit

Fact 8 - The popsicle was invented by an 11 year old Fact 9 - The highest recorded temperature in the south pole was 7F (-14C) Fact 10 - Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year Fact 11 - Jellyfish are 95% water Fact 12 - From 776 BC to 393 AD the Summer Olympics were celebrated as a religious festival

Bigmike & monket

Jokes

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather. .and unto the Sonnn .......and into the hole he gooooes."

~~~~~~~~~~ A traffic officer stopped a woman for speeding. "Here's my driver's license and picture," she said. "You know something," replied the policeman. "This is one of the finest, most realistic pictures I've ever seen. I'm glad to see you aren't one of those vain women who have the photos retouched to remove all the lines in their face." "Sir," she replied, "you are looking at my thumb print." ~~~~~~~~~~ Following a heavy-metal rock concert, one punk rocker stopped at the front desk of the hotel and asked if she had any messages. The desk clerk handed her an unsigned note, and she asked for a description of the person who had left it. "That's easy," replied the clerk. "He wore tight orange-leather pants, high-heeled black boots and a T-shirt with strategically cut holes. I remember a row of coloured safety pins through the outside edge of one ear, and he wore purple eye shadow. And his hair was orange and spiked." "Oh, man!," she said, obviously disappointed, "that could be anybody!"

~~~~~~~~~~ Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared one, "to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" "I," sighed the second explorer, "came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons." ~~~~~~~~~~ What is Severus Snapeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boggart? Shampoo! ~~~~~~~~~~ Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well you can't say you weren't warned." DrWatson

Gathering the threads After a successful first issue of 2012 I'm really glad that we've been working so hard to bring you the Summer issue of this year. It's jam packed full of things to keep you busy during this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summer and as I write this, we've been having amazing weather. Sunshine, the occasional cool breeze and for myself, plenty of time spent outside in the garden. I'm so proud of my fellow editor and my little eZiners for this issue we're bringing you. After last monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue they've been working SO HARD to make sure that you get the best issue for this summer. With this issue we decided to give YOU the chance to be a part of it by holding a front cover competition that (enter name here) won. Well done! As well as this we've also had members contribute to writing pieces for us.

Of course this is the summer issue for this year so we've brought you lots of advice and ideas of how to spend yours. Including recipes for BBQ's, jokes, crafts/DIY, make up and fashion advice for the summer and many more! So I hope you enjoy this issue, can't wait to start the next one already. See you then! Nat (Field Of Paper Flowers)


Summer 2012