The Rusty Nail, December 2012
“Here comes the flop,” announced the dealer, making sure the microphone picked up his voice. The youngster wiped his brow with his baseball cap. “It’s you,” said the dealer. It was the youngster’s first tournament. The most he ever won was five hundred and twenty-two dollars in the weekly game at his trailer park. He pushed in a brown chip. “Five thousand dollars,” someone yelled out. “Quiet in the stands,” said a voice over the loud speakers. Jason was next and curled up the corners of his cards to make sure they were what he thought he saw. He needed glasses, but they fogged up when he got nervous. He couldn’t give anyone an advantage like that. He nodded his head and pushed out his chips. “Call.” The next five players shook their heads and folded. The woman smiled and gracefully slid her cards away from her. “Fold-a,” she said. Jason looked at her. He tried to stop his eyes from opening so widely, but his eyelids twitched involuntarily. “The turn,” said the dealer. “Bet,” said the dealer. The cowboy pushed in another $10,000. The Asian threw his cards down. All eyes turned to Jason. He was still staring at the woman. “Bet,” said the dealer. The camera took a close shot of him with his mashed up hair, beard and pocked face. Home viewers started tweeting and started calling him “The Caveman”. Jason wanted to impress the woman and squeaked out, “Raise.” He threw in $20,000. The youngster started shaking. He swallowed hard. The network started posting Twitter comments along the bottom of the screen. “He’s done,” said @pokerface. “Send the boy home,” said @aceshigh. “Call,” said the youngster. “Here comes the river,” said the dealer. The camera zeroed in on the five cards on the table. The dealer looked at the cowboy. He pounded his fist on the table. “Check,” said the announcer. “Check,” said Jason. The youngster let out a breath he had been holding in for the past two minutes. “Check.” “Let’s see your cards, boys,” said the dealer. “Full house,” said the dealer pointing to Jason. Jason beamed, looking to the woman for appreciation. She, however, was looking at her sparkly Louis Vuitton shoes. The dealer moved the button over. “Small blind.”
Vegas and lose his pay at the slot machines, because in reality, he couldn’t play poker with the big boys. “Let’s start back,” announced the dealer. The youngster finally ran out of money and left the table. The cowboy kept slamming his losing cards and bending them. After several warnings, he was asked to leave. Twitter blew up. “Go back to your ranch,” said @citypoker. After two hours of play, Jason, the Asian, and the woman remained. “The fat bastard taught me how to play,” said the woman to no one in particular. Jason paused, provoking the Asian to yell at him. “Bet! Bet!” “Emotions are high,” said the announcer. Jason pushed in $50,000 without looking at his hand. The Asian seemed concerned. “This casino is so much nicer than the places I’m used to,” the woman said to the table. “What are you going to do?” asked the dealer. “I fold,” she said. Jason needed to win. His investors were expecting a cut from his winnings. He pushed his chips to the center of the table. The dealer counted them. He looked at the Asian and said, “He’s all in.” The Asian wiped his sweaty hands on his pants and pushed his chips in. “Let’s see your cards boys,” said the dealer. When Jason flipped his cards over, the Asian pushed back from the table and stormed off. “It’s just you and me,” said the woman. “Heads up right after this break,” said the announcer. The woman got up from the table and walked over to the spectators. She flipped her hair and laughed loudly. She signed autographs and engaged her fans into conversation. She returned to the table and counted her chips. Jason stared at her, unable to decide what to say next. “He’s as young as you were when I met you,” he said. “Yes, these days I sleep with who I want. I don’t have to trade myself for a bed to sleep in, for food, for anyone.” “The final round is about to begin,” said the announcer. “Heads up!” said the dealer. The dealer gave them two cards each and waited for Jason’s decision. Jason waited for the woman to acknowledge him. She nodded. He pushed his chips in without looking at his cards. “All in.” The audience gasped and Twitter exploded. “She put a spell on him,” said @boyplayer. “The old man is going down,” said @galslovepoker. The woman smiled. She pushed her stack in. “All in.” “Oh my, it’s a game now,” said the announcer. “Here it is,” said the dealer, noticing the death lock the players had on each other.
The youngster finally ran out of money and left the table. The cowboy kept slamming his losing cards and bending them. After several warnings, he was asked to leave.
The tournament had several commercial breaks and Jason was able to stretch his legs a bit. He wanted a smoke, but that wasn’t allowed during these televised tournaments. The casinos tried to hide the negative parts of gambling – the greasy meals, smoky tables, and lack of sleep. They wanted the Average Joe to come to Las 33