When I Wasn’t Even Looking by Nina Newton, Sr. Editor
“She is held by Emmanuel, and while she may stumble along the way, while she might trip in the line of His palm, she will never fall out of His hand.” -Hillary McFarland Have you ever seen the image of Jesus walking along a sandy beach, carrying a worn and weary woman, holding her closely and gently? The part that always touches my heart so deeply is when I notice that on one side of the picture there are two sets of footprints, and then as Jesus is carrying her there remains only one set of footprints in the sand. It is a striking reminder that when we look down and see only one set of footprints, and we feel all alone, we need to realize that the very reason there is only one set of footprints is because He is carrying us. We are not alone! For many years it seemed to me that in order for Jesus to pick me up and carry me through moments of darkness and despair, I needed to recognize that I was in danger and call out to Him. Of course, that works, too . . . . but now I can look back and see many times when I had no idea I was in so much danger; when I was wandering through the darkness; when I was heading straight for catastrophe, and He held me closely all along the way. Then, when I got to the other side and came out of that difficult place, I realized that He had been there all along. Even though I didn't even know I needed to call out to Him.
Perhaps it happens like that for you. Or maybe you are more aware of your situation; I tend to be a bit naive about things like that. Which is why, probably, I have stayed in hurtful places longer than most people would. If you are weary and wandering; if you are wounded and bleeding; if you are confused and frightened, He is right there to carry you through. You may not even realize that you need Him, but He is still there. Even if you aren't looking for Him, He is holding you close. Even if you are a bit like me, and you have become numb to the danger surrounding you, He is carrying you - even now. There were years in my life when I was like the proverbial frog in the cooking pot . . . . I've always heard that you can boil a frog (why would I want to do that? I wouldn't, but it does make a great word picture!) if you just raise the temperature of the water gradually enough that he doesn't even realize what is happening until it is too late. In retrospect, that was what was happening to me. The darkness and danger swirled into my life and my heart little by little, until I thought that what I was experiencing was "normal." The logical conclusion, then, was that if everything going on around me was "normal," and I was feeling frightened, overwhelmed, and confused was that there must be something wrong with me. It took several years of healing, once I had escaped from that place of destruction, for me to begin to see through the fog and darkness of that time and realize that the danger was very real. It took even longer for me to be able to admit that I had allowed myself to be deceived. And it took many years of reclaiming my relationship with Christ to accept His love and forgiveness. 5