Aesthetic Taste Volume 4

12/6/12 Dear Aesthetic Taste, My lawyers have advised me to restrict my remarks to you, and I am pretty positive that none of you know what sarcasm is, so I’m going to remain polite and let you know what I think about my time at your magazine.

I loved every minute of my time writing for you, you were the best editors I ever had.

You never, ever made me rewrite my articles twelve times before you printed them. You definitely never would do something like schedule a mandatory meeting on a Saturday afternoon, and then not show up! You also certainly would not expect a brilliant and beautiful young writer to work for $25/ per article.

I love you both so much that I have permanent dental and muscular damage from grinding my teeth and flexing my hands, because I think about how great you are all night long!

Unfortunately, I have decided to break my 15 year (so reasonable!) contract to go write for your competitor “Objective Taste”. I know that they don’t have the same integrity or opportunities for promotion that you offer.

In short, I quit.

I will always remember your organization as a wonderful opportunity to grow, learn about myself, and validate my passion for the literary and critical arts among like-minded peers who are simultaneously health-conscious, hygienic, and reasonable.

Love, Jenny Hanniver, MFA P.S. If J.J. doesn’t come get his cat, I’m hiring Ukrainian mercenaries to “erase” him.