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HealthNEWS
for Boomers and Beyond
January 2018
Keeping your Heart Healthy on Valentine’s Day
V
alentine’s Day is all about the love. Roses of red and heartshaped candy boxes will be on display everywhere you look. This year, show your love in a way that promotes a healthy heart and healthy lifestyle with these few simple ideas. 1. A sweet treat is usually the first thing we think about giving to our significant others on Valentine’s Day, but maybe it’s time for a change. This year, give a gift from the heart. Write a sweet poem and have it framed. Take a little trip to somewhere you’ve never been. Cook their favorite (heart healthy) meal. Gifts don’t always have to be chocolate! 2. If a sweet treat is a must, consider giving a fruit basket instead of sweets with added sugars. If chocolate is a must-have, just remember to take it slow and don’t eat it all at one time. 3. Get outside with your significant other and take a walk…just the two of you. Spend the time connecting with each other and staying active at the same time. You can also get moving by taking a dance
class or signing up for local fitness classes. The time spent together to improve your health will be priceless! 4. Don’t forget to teach kids healthy habits too! Instead of candy for their classroom party, try pencils or stickers. You could also plan a family outing on Valentine’s Day to get everyone moving. Check out your local state park or skating rink to involve the whole family in an active lifestyle.
LIVING WELL MEANS HAVING A STRONG HEART.
Jackson Hospital’s Heart Center was the first hospital in Alabama to be awarded the gold seal of approval for heart attack care from The Joint Commission. Visit jackson.org for more information on the Heart Center and to learn more about our Cardiologists.
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Come Worship with Us! Sunday Worship: 9:30 a.m. Christian Education: 11:00 a.m. on Sundays and 6 p.m. on Wednesdays
Founded Upon God’s Word
Liturgically Joyful
At Christchurch, Holy Scripture serves as the final authority for our teaching and preaching. Indeed, over the course of three years, almost the entire Bible is read aloud and preached upon.
At Christchurch, worship involves the entire congregation, as we offer God praise, thanksgiving and adoration using worship traditions that can be traced back to the earliest days of the Church. Our worship is not designed to entertain us, but to honor the true “audience” of worship, the Lord!
Warm and Loving
Committed to Mission
By God’s grace and through His Spirit, the people of Christchurch enjoy the richness and joy of being a true family. We’d love for you to become a part of us! Regardless of who you are, you will always find a home at Christchurch.
The people of Christchurch respond to God’s Word by going out into the world proclaiming the good news of Jesus, and we joyfully serve as His hands and feet whether in places like Uganda and Guatemala or within Montgomery.
8800 Vaughn Road, Montgomery, AL 36117 www.christchurchmgm.net 334.387.0566
BOOM!, The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
Contents
January 2018 Volume 8 Issue 5
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
Facebook.com/RiverRegionBoom C.S. Lewis
Thought Relationships Taste Inspiration
Humor Advice Health Community
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
Carl Bard
3 Jackson Hospital’s Health News 8 Publisher’s Letter 10 Celebrating MLK Day Through Service 11 OLLI at AUM, Begins 2018 Winter Term 12 “A NEW RESIDENT” George Szabo
page 34
14 Healthy New Resolutions Leigh Anne Richards
Features
34 Live Longer by Traveling
36 Decorating Tips & Trends 40 Sylva, North Carolina
16 Pursuing Financial Freedom McDonald Hagen 18 Jeff Barganier Book Signing
Departments 20 This and That
Getting You “In the Know”
44 {12} Things
Special Events for Boomers
20 Celebrate America's First Mardi Gras
42 Greg Budell
21 Montgomery Botanical Gardens & Peace Gardens
REELING IN THE YEARS
22 Alabama Oyster Social 23 In Her Own Fashion Crossroads Theatre 2018 24 The Freebird Club: An Airbnb for the 50+ Set
page 38
page 24
page 42
25 The Joy of Living a Meaningful Life 26 Holiday Burnout Ask an Elder Law Attorney 28 BOOM! Cover Profile
page 40 page 22
39 Eating Smart with Tracy Bhalla: Heart Healthy Diets
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COVER PROFILE
38 7 Unbreakable Laws of Grandparenting
page 44
page 28
46 A Boomer Parent’s Apology to Millennials
BOOM! The River Regions 50+ Lifestage Magazine is published monthly by River Region Publications, 3966 Atlanta Hwy, Box 266, Montgomery, AL 36109. The phone number is 334.324.3472. Copyright 2018 by River Region Publications. No part of this publication can be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Opinions expressed in BOOM! The River Regions 50+ Lifestage Magazine are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the owners, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products and services herein.
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Publisher’s Letter
Here We Go!
Like it or not. Prepared or not. Ready Set Go! That's what starting a New Year feels like to me most of the time. I've spent most of the holidays evaluating how I did and where I am right now, but my aspirations and desires want me to do more, be better, walk away from that comfort zone of settling for life as it is. But change is hard. And as I've aged my biggest question is why change anything?
The mission of BOOM! is to serve the folks of the River Region age 50 plus with information and ideas to inspire new experiences, better quality of life and new beginnings.
For me, I must change and grow, or I will die waiting on something, never knowing what that something is. Instead I will embrace change and create something of value, such as new skills to help me navigate a new career or business. When I’m in discovery mode, learning new ways of thinking and doing, my mind is engaged, I'm experiencing enlightenment...a sense of fulfillment.
Publisher/Editor
Jim Watson, 334.324.3472 jim@riverregionboom.com
Contributing Writers
There's a sense of youthfulness to me when I’m on a path of discovery, my curiosity is piqued, I am a student once again. That's how I’ll start this New Year, hopefully it will be a fruitful year, full of new ideas to grow on and share with others in quality conversations. Have an engaging New Year!
Jeff Barganier Austin Barranco Tracy Bhalla Kimberly Blaker Greg Budell Michael Coleman
My aging brothers and sisters are seeking many ways to give back to our community and this month's cover profile, Michael Coleman, may offer some inspiration. Michael started a non-profit job training ministry a few years ago called Hope Inspired Ministries (HIM). The purpose is to help teach people to get jobs and become self-sufficient and free from a life of poverty. He and his team have done remarkable things that many of us take for granted each day because we were taught many of these life skills growing up. I believe Michael is onto a solution for those that want to escape poverty. I think you'll enjoy reading his story and maybe even finding ways to help him reach many more people that want to be helped.
Barbara Graham Leigh Anne Richards George Szabo A. Colin Treadwell Ricard Watts Raley L. Wiggins
Cover Photography Jeri Hines Total Image Portraits www.totalimage.com 334.261.2080
There are many other very good reads this month, Jeff Barganier is back with a recent trip he made to North Carolina. We have a guest writer who shares with us some information about why traveling will help you live longer (no wonder Jeff Barganier looks so youthful!). We have grandparent's laws you should abide by to keep the peace. Kimberly Blaker, another new writer gives some simple tips & trends in the decorating world that will be helpful when deciding your new 2018 look. There's plenty more to satisfy your curiosity, learn a few new things to share and maybe even be inspired to make some changes in how you begin and live this New Year.
Advertising
Jim Watson, 334.324.3472 jim@riverregionboom.com Please Recycle This Magazine, Share with a Friend!
Let's all get jazzed about discovering new skills, experiences or sports...hey, I may even take up the hippest new sport for boomers, Pickleball, see you on the court!?
Jim Facebook.com/RiverRegionBoom
jim@riverregionboom.com 334.324.3472 cell/text
Digital & Interactive
When you read the Digital & Interactive version of BOOM! on your digital device you will be interactive with every website and email link in the magazine. You can click through to a writer’s source, an
advertiser, send comments and suggestions, request more info and share your favorite reads on Facebook and Twitter. The Digital & Interactive version was built for the new you so go ahead and sign up for a free subscription at RiverRegionBoom.com “BOOM!, the best reading experience for the 50+ community”
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Thank You Volunteers!
Thanks to each of you for rising to the call to serve others! Over the last year, HandsOn River Region coordinated nearly 10,000 volunteers who logged close to 40,000 hours of service which equates to an economic benefit to our community of one million dollars! You have housed the homeless, fed the hungry and so much more. And to start the New Year off...
A Day On, Not a Day Off: Celebrating MLK Day Through Service Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” On January 15, 2018, the nation will mark the 89th birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. This annual celebration gives us the chance to pay tribute to both the man and the ideals he embodied. MLK Day is an occasion to celebrate unity among all races and hope for a future when we are all treated equally. On MLK Day, HandsOn River Region, in collaboration with the North Precinct Service Providers Alliance, will coordinate over 300 volunteers engaged in a variety of projects to enhance the quality of life for North Montgomery neighborhoods including Highland Gardens and Chisholm. The Day’s activities will include: • Grounds Maintenance and Improvements - Volunteers will perform a variety of tasks to build a more inviting atmosphere for neighborhood residents and visitors to enjoy. • Smoke Detector Installation – Volunteers will install smoke detectors in Highland Gardens homes. • Community Garden - Volunteers will perform seasonal tasks in Nehemiah Center's Community Garden. • Facility Work - Volunteers will move and organize stored items in Friendship Mission Women's Shelter and The Chisholm Boys & Girls Club. • Disaster Preparedness Activities - Volunteers will build disaster preparedness packets and distribute them to area residents. • Hygiene Kits - Volunteers will pack hygiene kits to distribute to the area homeless. The work sites will include Boys and Girls Club - Chisholm Unit, Friendship Mission, Highland Gardens Community Center and Community Park, Nehemiah Center and Shepherds Staff. Register today to be a part of this event to honor the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. For further information or to register, visit www.handsonriverregion.org or contact Leslie Martorana, 334.264.3335, leslie@handsonriverregion.org
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OLLI at AUM Begins 2018 Winter Term
On January 22, 2018 the OLLI Winter Term begins, and workshops continue through March 7. The program is once again presenting a great variety in the seventeen different workshops available during the term.
Broz is concentrating on “The Atomic Bomb and the End of World War II. Jeff Benton’s study of the Victorian age has proved to be so popular that the section at 10:45 p.m. on Wednesday is full, and another section has been added at 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday.
book each session. The selections for winter term are: Feb. 6, Tayari Jones, Silver Sparrow, Feb. 20, Wayne Flynt, Mockingbird Songs, and March 6, Fredrik Backman, My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry.
Variety shows up in the new offerings, especially in history and literature. Bradley Moody is offering an in-depth study of Robert Penn Warren’s All the King’s Men, the novel and films (both documentary and fiction). The combined study of a novel and a film also appears in “Aging – Laughing and Crying,” with a study of the Swedish novel A Man Called Ove, and the Swedish (subtitled) film based on the novel. Film study is also available in Cliff Browning’s “Loyalty Is Conformity,” a study of the heroic tradition in two American films – High Noon and Casablanca.
Popularity has also influenced some workshop repeats or continuing versions. OLLI members who have taken pine needle basket weaving or paper engineering can take the next level in each. Members may also continue their studies of investing, photography, and architecture and participation in line dancing and ballroom dancing. There is also a new opportunity to become involved in the ever-popular Zentangle workshop with a new beginning workshop offered on Monday afternoons at 1:30 p.m.
Winter term also brings four new subjects for the lunch presentations. On Wednesday, January 24, Susan Willis, AUM English professor and dramaturg at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival, will talk about the ASF productions scheduled for the spring and summer of 2018. On Wednesday, February 14, Al Medina will give a man’s perspective on quilting. Representatives from the MANE therapeutic riding program will talk about their organization on Monday, February 26. The final lunch presentation is Monday, March 5, with Capt. Jessica Harris presenting the Alabama Goodwill Ambassador Program. Even though lunch is no longer provided (bring your own or buy from a vendor at the event), you need to make a reservation for each session because of limited available seating.
History workshops are based in two different centuries – the 19th and the twentieth. Two workshops offer perspectives on World War II. Ann Linda will be leading the study of “Reality, Persuasion, and Propaganda” during the war while Frank
The two primary Bonus Opportunities are also continuing: OLLI Brain Bowl and Tuesday Book Discussion. These two groups meet on the first and third Tuesdays of each month from 10:00 – 11:30. Brain Bowl is a competition (“not too hard”) of knowledge. The book discussion focuses on a different
For more information about AUM OLLI or to request a catalog, contact: Brittany at 244-3804.
Come expand your horizons with a term of learning with AUM OLLI members!
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by George Szabo
“A NEW RESIDENT” In March, my wife Jean brought home another orphan plant cutting, given to her by one of her fellow Master Gardeners. Neither of us knew anything about this visitor called by its donor as “Hibiscus Mutabilis”. After a good deal of inquiry, we learned that this stranger was commonly called “Confederate Rose”. We have now lived with this adoptee for eight months, and expect to know a great deal more about this plant by next March. Based on what we have experienced so far, readers should put this plant on their Must Have List. The Confederate Rose appeared as a twelve-inch cutting, about one half inch thick, wrapped in damp newspaper. It had been removed from the parent plant in the fall before first frost and had bathed in a container of water in a place that prevented it from freezing. After four weeks of immersion in water at our home, it had grown some promising roots, and so, it was now time for it to have a permanent residence. This location was a raised bed containing potting soil and top soil, in partial sun next to a privacy fence. It became obvious to us that this plant was going to be “Boss”. It grew quickly and confidently, and is now fourteen feet tall, and eight feet wide! I just measured its girth at the base (four inches) and measured one of the leaves, eight inches wide, and shaped like a sycamore leaf.
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before falling, hence, the description “Hibiscus Mutabilis”. Generally, “Rose” has an excellent balanced tree form, nice green foliage, tall and wide, so sturdy that is will not bend down, and is covered with many brilliant flowers. It blooms in October, is easily grown, and free of insects, except for the big black and yellow bees. They love this plant. We are still learning about “Rose” and we have been told that cold weather will kill the branches, and that the entire growth should be removed exposing only an inch or so of the main stalk. We have been also told to cover the stub with mulch in the winter, and next spring the plant will repeat its previous performance. Cuttings should be taken from the branches before frost and freezing, placed in water that should be changed every two weeks, and then with new roots, planted in the Spring.
No artist could match the green color of its leaves. On October 31st, I counted 42 blooms on its branches with probably another 100 ready to please the eye! The blooms are large, and are colored a delicate light pink. The flowers last about three days, turning a deep pink
We are very happy with “Hibiscus Mutabilis” and of course refer to it by its common name “Confederate Rose”. It’s a can’t miss planting, easy to grow, beautiful, and a great conversation starter! George Szabo, an intern in the 2017 Master Gardener Class, lives in Montgomery. For more information on becoming a master gardener, visit www.capcitymga.org or email capcitymga@gmail.com.
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Healthy New Year’s Resolutions
Happy New Year!!! It’s the end of another Earth orbit around the sunmarking the beginning of a New Year and a fresh start full of possibilities and opportunities. Did you evaluate your past goals? If you fell a little short, it’s time to recommit or create some new goals.
2. Take a multi-vitamin. Always discuss with your health care provider what your body needs.
Fitness over Fifty by Leigh Anne Richards
Remember to set realistic goals that are attainable and achievable. Take baby steps! The American Geriatrics Society’s Health in Aging Foundation recommends the following top 10 healthy New Years Resolutions for older adults to achieve the goal of becoming and staying healthy. 1. Eat fruits, whole grains, low fat dairy, fish, and healthy fats- In later life we need healthy foods but fewer calories. Eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. Make a colorful platedark green, bright yellow and orange choices. Pick less fatty meat. Have heart healthy fish, like tuna or salmon. Use healthier fats like olive oils and avocados. Use herb and spices to flavor food which helps reduce the need to add fat or salt.
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your chances of falling, cause trouble sleeping, interact with your medication, and contribute to health problems. It is important for seniors to re-evaluate their relationship with alcohol as aging can the body’s tolerance to the effects of alcohol.
3. Be active- MOVE more- Physical activity does not just make your physical body stronger, healthier, and more vibrant, but also reduces your stress level and energizes your mood, having a positive effect on your mind and your emotions. 4. See your health care provider regularly- Make sure you keep up with your wellness visits and your health screenings. These screenings include vision, hearing, and screenings for different kinds of cancers (breast, colon), and osteoporosis 5. Toast with a smaller glass- drink less alcohol. Excessive drinking can make you feel depressed, increase
6. Guard against falls. One in every three older adults falls each year and calls are leading cause of injuries and deaths among older adults. Exercises that focus on strength and balance can help you avoid falls. Check into a local exercise program that focuses on functional balance activities. Eliminate throw rugs in the home that are easy to trip over and catch your feet. Insert grab bars in the shower and tub, and install night lights so it is easier to see if you must get up in the dark. 7. Give your brain a workout- The more you use your mind, the better it will work. Try crossword puzzles or brain games. Play cards such as bridge or join a discussion group at your local library or senior center. AUM has a great Lifelong Learning Program for seniors that want to continue to learn and grow intellectually.
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8. Quit smoking- Cigarette smokers are twice as likely to develop heart disease as nonsmokers. It is never too late to quit!! You will reduce your risk of many health problems, breather easier, have more energy and sleep better if you stop smoking. On average, smokers try about 4 times before they stop for good. 9. Be your own cheerleader- speak up for yourself if you are feeling anxious or depressed. Seek out medical help if you feel like depression is limiting your quality of life. Be kind to yourself and give yourself positive reinforcement with that little internal voice. Allow yourself to celebrate your successes which will boost happiness and keep you moving forward to your goals. Laugh more!! 10. Get enough sleep- Older people need just as much sleep as younger folks. We also need about 7-8 hours. To get good quality sleep, avoid afternoon naps, which can keep you up in the evenings. Choose your New Year's Goals. Make sure they are SMART goals- specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. Baby steps are key. Dear Past, Thank you for all the lessons. Dear future, I’m now ready!! Have a healthy, happy 2018 HealthinAging.org- Top 10 Healthy New Year’s Resolutions for Older Adults. Jan 2017 http:/www.alwayson healthcare.com/senior-health-care/ new year-resolutions-for- seniours-2014
Leigh Anne Richards, MEd, Certified Personal Trainer, Group Exercise Instructor, General ManagerMetroFitness. For any questions or comments, contact Leigh Anne at LAMetrofit@aol.com
Digital & Interactive
When you read the Digital & Interactive version of BOOM! on your digital device you will be interactive with every website and email link in the magazine. You can click through to a writer’s source, an advertiser, send comments and suggestions, request more info and share your favorite reads on Facebook and Twitter. The Digital & Interactive version was built for the new you so go ahead and sign up for a free subscription at RiverRegionBoom.com and enjoy “BOOM!, the best reading experience for the 50+ community”
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Pursuing Financial Freedom
Brandt McDonald introduces his guest columnist, Austin Barranco… From time to time, I will be introducing several of our advisors through this column. They will share personalized insights into financial markets, financial planning, and overall wealth management concepts. At McDonald & Hagen, we have a deep bench of talent that is eager to serve our firm’s clients and our local community. This month’s column is written by Austin Barranco. Austin entered the financial industry in 2014 after earning a degree in Finance from The University of Alabama, with a specialization in Insurance and Risk Management, he has also earned the distinction of a FINRA General Securities Principal held with LPL. Austin and his wife Maghen live in East Montgomery with their dog Chip. In his free time Austin enjoys college football, golf, and traveling the world.
The new year is finally here, and that means new year’s resolutions. Two of the most common new year’s resolutions are conforming to a new diet, or beginning a new workout regimen. According to a poll conducted by the HuffPost on 12/28/2016, only 8% of poll participants achieved their new year’s resolutions in 2016. Needless to say, New Year’s resolutions are rarely achieved, and I believe there are 2 contributing factors to this lack of success. One: people often set unrealistic goals. For example, setting a goal to lose 50 pounds when you only weigh 200 pounds is a bit aggressive, and unlikely to be achieved without having negative health implications. As pure as your intentions are to lose weight, setting the goal at 25 pounds is more realistic, and can be achieved by losing around 2 pounds per month. If you find yourself approaching your goal faster than expected, then you can always adjust your goal. Two: people often set goals, but do not establish a method for reaching their goals. For example, if you set a goal to lose weight, you may want to consider blocking off an hour of your time each day to exercise. You may also want to consider prepping healthy meals, so you are not tempted to eat out. A gym membership with workout partners may be more your style (p.s. the new Pilates studio in town is a wonderful way to burn calories while interacting socially). Either way, if you set a goal, it is imperative that you alter your daily routine to meet those goals. If not, your chances of success diminish quickly.
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Financial Thoughts
with Austin Barranco
With that being said, I do not recommend a diet or workout regimen as your new years resolution. I recommend the pursuit of financial freedom as your 2018 new year’s resolution. What does this mean? This means initiating a new financial outlook for yourself. First, create a budget to track exactly how much money you make and spend on a monthly basis (also known as cash flow analysis).
worth and cash flow analysis to show your overall financial picture. If you don’t like the look of your overall financial picture, then 2018 is the year that you begin making lifestyle adjustments in order to prepare for the retirement you want, and ultimately financial freedom. At McDonald & Hagen, our primary focus is on our clients, and their pursuit of financial freedom. If you are overwhelmed by the idea of preparing your portfolio for retirement, make it your new year’s resolution to give us a call. Our team of experienced professionals can help you prepare for the financial future that you deserve. Austin Barranco, Financial Advisor
Once you understand your cash flow, you can decide how much you will have left over at the end of every month for savings and discretionary spending. Once your budget and cash flow are set, it is then necessary to set your retirement goals. How much income will you need on an annual basis in retirement? You can use your budget to help you find a rough estimate of this number. (Ex. If you spend $4K per month, then you will need around $48K/year in retirement before inflation adjustments). Keep in mind, there is no right or wrong answer to this question, and everyone’s retirement goals are different.
Brandt McDonald, Managing Partner McDonald & Hagen Wealth Management LPL Branch Manager www.mcdonaldhagen.com Direct comments and questions to Jennifer.Hunt@LPL.com or 334.387.0094
After your retirement goal has been established, you then need to create a saving and investment strategy that will allow you to reach that goal. Start by doing a net worth analysis of all your assets. You will notice that some of your assets have the ability to appreciate in value over time. (Ex. House, Real Estate, Stocks, Bonds, etc…). Combine your net
This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized legal or tax advice. We suggest you discuss your specific legal or tax issues with a qualified legal or tax advisor.
Because of the possibility of human or mechanical error by Wealth Management Systems Inc. or its sources, neither Wealth Management Systems Inc. nor its sources guarantees the accuracy, adequacy, completeness or availability of any information and is not responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. In no event shall Wealth Management Systems Inc. be liable for any indirect, special or consequential damages in connection with subscriber's or others' use of the content. LPL Tracking # 1-680966 The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. No strategy assures success or protects against loss. Stock investing involves risk including loss of principle.
Securities offered through LPL Financial. Member FINRA & SIPC. Investment advice offered through McDonald & Hagen Wealth Management, a Registered Investment Advisor, and separate entity from LPL Financial. The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
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GREENVILLE NATIVE TO SIGN LATEST BOOK AT MONTGOMERY ANTIQUES & INTERIORS Jeff Barganier Tells How Prayer Transitioned Him from a Life He Despised to a Life He Loves
His candid and entertaining memoir entitled, “How Prayer Helped Me Escape the Corporate Rat Race and Live Life by Design Not by Default,” chronicles his journey from burned out stockbroker to writer. Trusting in divine guidance, Jeff abruptly sold his company in 2003. He told his wife, “I just sold the company and I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do now.” Today, he’s a freelance writer who also occasionally designs and builds products and hangs heavy mirrors for his designer wife, Cindy, whose interior design firm he manages. He explains how they capitalize on a successful marriage of 38 years to achieve an enviable lifestyle based on trust in God and devotion to each other. Today he travels far and wide upon the slightest excuse for something interesting to write about. He visited a fourth-generation “roof thatcher” in Holland to learn the ancient art of roof thatching, once that land’s primary industry. According to his Dutch friends, Jeff’s engaging story about roof thatching and the Dutch people in “a land of modern marvels” made him famous in Jeff Barganier BOOK SIGNING the Netherlands. Later, he invited Cindy along on a writing assignment to @ Montgomery Antiques & Interiors Oregon where the couple mastered fly-fishing on the swift green waters of the 1955 Eastern Blvd, Montgomery, AL 36117 world-famous Rogue River. “Life doesn’t get any better than this. It sure beats DATE: Wednesday, January 17, 2018 watching your law client escorted from the courtroom in handcuffs or enduring TIME: 11:30am to 2:30pm a vicious bear market in the securities business!” He says. The couple sold their home two years ago completely furnished. They moved in to Cindy’s design studio located in the “traditional neighborhood development” known as “The Waters” in Pike Road, Alabama. “We sold our furniture,
The Side by Side Singers are dedicated to sharing music to keep our minds strong. Music can improve our mood and boost cognitive skills. We invite those living with Alzheimer’s or dementia and their care-partners to join us for 8-week sessions each Tuesday, 1:00-2:00 pm at First United Methodist Church in Montgomery. The music we sing ranges from Sinatra to Elvis. photo by Mickey Welsh/Montgomery Advertiser
SIDEbySIDE singers singers
Please contact Jack Horner at ivortickle@aol.com or Laura Selby at 834-8990 for more information. 18 BOOM!
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First United METHODIST CHURCH
2416 W. Cloverdale Park Montgomery, AL 36106 334.834.8990 www.fumcmontgomery.org
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art collection, draperies, rugs, everything. It was downsizing on steroids,” says Cindy. They no longer cook meals, preferring to eat at the restaurant next door or catch a bite on the run. Their laundry is picked up twice a week by the back door and returned on hangers. “We’ve created a lifestyle that allows us to go directly from work to play. Consequently, we are super productive in what we love—writing and design. We farmed out 90 percent of life’s mundane tasks, freeing us to create and travel. Now we live life by design not by default,” Jeff says. Chris Erwin, Montgomery Pastor of the Church of the Highlands writes, “You’ll love this story!” Erika M. Powell, nationally renowned designer and founder of Urban Grace Interiors writes, “I laughed, I cried and I truly did not want it to end.” Best-selling author Kristy Woodson Harvey says, “Barganier’s heartfelt tale proves that when you follow your passion, the pieces of your life…come together in a truly spectacular way.” If you would like more information about this topic or wish to contact Jeff Barganier for an interview, please call 334.318.0955, email jeffbarganier@knology.net or let me know and I will coordinate!
How Prayer Helped Me Escape the Corporate Rat Race and Live Life by Design NOT by Default
By Jeff S. Barganier
236 Pages – Paperback – Not in Stores Everywhere To Order please send name and address, plus $20 for the book, tax, shipping and handling to: Jeff Barganier/43 Bridge St./Pike Road, AL 36064 Or just call Jeff at 334-356-3652
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i
This & tHAT Celebrate America's First Mardi Gras
Did you know that Mobile is the birthplace of America's original Mardi Gras? That's right, Mardi Gras originated in 1703 right here in our port city. It was revived after the Civil War when citizen Joe Cain, fed up with post-war misery, led an impromptu parade down city streets. We've been doing it ever since and we mark the annual occasion with majestic parades, colorful floats and flying Moon Pies. Mardi Gras celebrations begin two and a half weeks before Fat Tuesday and the Port City comes to life. Elaborate themed floats manned by masked mystic societies, mounted police and marching bands wind through downtown Mobile and surrounding areas, entertaining nearly a million revelers each year. Mobile's Carnival is a family-friendly time of parties, balls, parades and revelry. Find your spot and get ready to catch Moon Pies, beads and trinkets. And not to forget the man who kept Mardi Gras alive, Joe Cain Day is observed the Sunday before Fat Tuesday. Mobile Mardi Gras kicks off in Downtown Mobile on January 26 and ends on Fat Tuesday, February 13! Stay up-to-date on all things Mobile Mardi Gras by following @MobileMardiGras on Facebook and Twitter. And, for even more Mobile Mardi Gras information, visit The Mobile Mask! www.themobilemask.com or www.mobile.org
Millbrook Mardi Gras The annual Millbrook Mardi Gras parade and festival will be early this year – Saturday, February 3rd from 9 until 3pm! This family-friendly event takes place in the lovely town of Millbrook at the Village Green Park on Main Street. Vendors will be ready and waiting with all kinds of arts and crafts, Cajun food, music, pony rides, zips lines and more. Designated as one of the “Must Attend” events in Alabama, the Millbrook Revelers Mardi Gras Festival & Parade brings Millbrook’s streets to life with parade viewers shouting for beads, moon pies and trinkets, lively tunes played by the colorful marching bands, and the infectious merriment that dominates the city all day. For more info www.millbrookrevelers.org
Caring for the Caregiver, Alzheimer/Dementia Support Group Meeting the 2nd Wednesday of each month, 1-3 pm at ChristChurch, 8800 Vaughn Rd. Montgomery, AL. A place for RESPITE: a pause or rest, EXCHANGING: practical information on caregiving problems, possible solutions, and resources in our community, SHARING: needs and concerns, TALKING: through challenges and discovering new ways to cope. Often, we hear caregivers say they are looking for support from people who “really understand because we have been there too.” This group offers just that-a safe place for caregivers, family and friends of persons with dementia to meet and develop a mutual support system. We welcome caregivers. For more info call 334.462.2613.
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Community invited to Auburn University at Montgomery’s Homecoming Tailgate Auburn University at Montgomery invites the community to join in its Homecoming day celebration on Saturday, January 27. AUM Homecoming 2018 activities will include a day of tailgating and outdoor activities before the men’s and women’s basketball matchups against the University of West Alabama. From 11 am to 2 pm Saturday, AUM family and friends can bring picnic baskets, camp stoves and coolers (non-alcoholic beverages only) to join the fun at AUM’s Homecoming Tailgate, a community gathering before the men’s and women’s basketball games. Tailgating activities will include lawn games like Cornhole, giant Jenga, and jumbo checkers; a rolling video arcade; and music from a live DJ. The AUM Alumni Association’s Homecoming Celebration features several activities for alumni, featuring food and fireworks. For a complete list of Homecoming Day activities and info on alumni events, visit www.aum.edu/Homecoming.
Montgomery Botanical Gardens to Join International Network of Peace Gardens Gardens for Peace dedicated its 20th peace garden in the world, and first in Alabama, at the Montgomery Botanical Gardens at Oak Park (1010 Forest Ave) on December 6th. Gardens for Peace is an Atlanta-based, international nonprofit dedicated to recognizing and honoring spaces in gardens around the world for mediation, prayer and reflection. The gardens are modeled after the small and large Japanese gardens the organization’s founder, Dr. Laura Dorsey, found refuge in during her husband’s recovery from injuries suffered in combat during the Vietnam War. “The time spent in a garden provides moments for personal reflection and meditation and a sense of renewal,” said Dr. Laura Dorsey, founder of Gardens for Peace. “It is our hope that families in Montgomery will Heather Coleman Davis, president of the Montgomery find a sense of calm and escape here, and leave feeling refreshed and more connected to others Botanical Gardens addresses attendants during the Garden of Peace designation ceremony. around the world.” The garden will join other dedicated gardens in the international network. The first garden was dedicated in 1988 on the Swan Woods Trail at the Atlanta History Center. Additional gardens exist in Madrid, Spain; Nairobi, Kenya; Busan, South Korea; and, various other locations in the United States and around the world.
Get Your Affairs in Order, FREE Estate Planning and Asset Protection Workshop Wednesday, JANUARY 24: Hosted by Red Oak Legal, PC: 1:30 - 3:30 pm at the Archibald Senior Center (MACOA) in Montgomery. This educational workshop presented by local attorney Raley L. Wiggins covers wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, living wills, probate administration, protecting assets from creditors, bankruptcy, divorce and remarriage, nursing homes, long-term care and Medicaid qualification. Registration is required. Call 334.625.6774 today to reserve your seat or register online at www.redoaklegalpc.com.
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5th Annual Alabama Oyster Social The 5th annual Alabama Oyster Social will be on Saturday, January 27, at the Alfa Pavilion (Big Red Barn) in Auburn, Alabama. For the fifth year, we are gathering to celebrate the Alabama oyster, the hard work of the oystermen, and Dr. Bill Walton's crew at the Auburn University Shellfish Laboratory. Since the first Oyster Social in 2015, much has happened. The popularity of the Alabama oyster has soared and production has increased; however, the other news hasn't been as good. Two years ago the lease where many of our favorite oysters are raised and harvested was denied for renewal. Many of our favorite Alabama oysters (Mon Louis, Murder Point, Turtlebacks, Captain Zeke's, Pass Huitre and Southern Pearls) are having to find new farm sites. Auburn University has been working to establish new oyster farming parks, which will provide opportunities for the current and new oyster farmers, while also establishing an oyster farming experiment station. As in years past, the 2018 Alabama Oyster Social is partnering with an All-Star roster of some of the South's most influential chefs and vendors. The tasting tables will feature southern fisherman, farmers, foragers, butchers, brewers, distillers, vintners, and shellfish enthusiasts all to highlight the progressive, sustainable efforts of Alabama oyster farms.
Coffee County Arts Alliance Presents Rumours of Fleetwood Mac, A Tribute Concert Rumours of Fleetwood Mac – A Tribute Show, The Best of Fleetwood Mac, Thursday, January 18, 2018 • 7:00 pm at Elba High School Elba, Alabama. Rumours is the country’s premier Fleetwood Mac tribute band. Based in Atlanta, GA, Rumours captures the energy of Fleetwood Mac at the height of their career by blending perfect harmonies, precise instrumentation and a visually engaging stage show. Rumours’ dedication to recreating the Fleetwood Mac experience has skyrocketed their popularity, garnering a loyal fan base. Hear the tribute band sing favorites such as “Over My Head”, “Rhiannon”, “Go Your Own Way”, “You Make Loving Fun”, “Don’t Stop”, “Landslide” and “Little Lies”. Information: 334.406.2787 or www.CoffeeCountyArtsAlliance.com
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Volunteer This Year Whether an individual, group or corporation - HandsOn River Region is here to help you realize the benefit each and every person can be to their community. We coordinate and manage volunteer projects throughout the River Region for over 200 non-profits. And we’ve been doing this for over 40 years! Search for volunteer opportunities on our website or call us for assistance in locating the perfect volunteer opportunity for you! Get involved and Serve Today, visit www.handsonriverregion.org or call 334.264.3335
Grand Opening of Renovated Mount Vernon Theatre in Tallassee
January 19, 20 and 21, 2018--The Grand Opening of the newly renovated Mount Vernon Theatre, 321 Barnette Boulevard, Tallassee, is scheduled for January 19, 20 and 21, 2018. Originally built in 1935 by Mount Vernon Mills and closed in 1968, the theater now includes a beautiful courtyard with large oak trees, a pergola, benches, tables and a display of water trickling down a wall of tiles in memory of loved ones. To commemorate the Grand Opening, Mount Vernon Theatre joins with the Talisi Historical Preservation Society’s Friends of Tuckabatchee in presenting an original play, Dear Mama: Letters and Music From World War II, written by Adrian Lee Borden, and based on true events of World War II. For more information and tickets call 334.991.2079, email MtVernonTheatre@gmail.com or visit www.MountVernonTheatre.org
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The Freebird Club: An Airbnb for the 50+ Set Think of The Freebird Club as the Airbnb for the 50+ set, with a hint of Match.com thrown in. The Freebird Club, founded by a young, zealous Irishman named Peter Mangan, lets people 50 and older host in their homes other people who are 50+ and traveling. The one requirement for hosts of the peer-to-peer social travel and homestay club: they can’t just hand over the keys. They need to be home some of the time their guests are visiting so they can mingle and have fun together. The Freebird Club (not to be confused with the Lynyrd Skynyrd power ballad signature song) isn’t just about helping people 50+ find a place to stay on vacation. It has two greater purposes: 1) providing income for older people who need it and 2) curbing social isolation among older people by letting travelers and their hosts share time together. According to a 2013 National Academy of Sciences study, social isolation and loneliness are associated with a higher risk of mortality among people 52 and older. Mangan’s slogan for The Freebird Club: “Connecting senior explorers and building bridges to an agefriendly world.” His dad, Owen — a retired, widowed veterinarian — was the inspiration for the travel service. Peter, who lives in Dublin, had been renting out a cottage he had in county Kerry, Ireland, through Airbnb to bring in extra income. His dad, who was in his 70s, took care of the property. “My father was doing most of the meeting of the guests on my behalf. He was living alone and adjusting to that phase of life. And he was using words like ‘boredom’ a lot,” says Mangan, a former banker. “But what was enjoyable for him was meeting the older guests who came to stay. They’d go to the pub together and go sightseeing and have dinner. There was real bonding. The common denominator was their age group.” Mangan realized this was something Airbnb wasn’t doing. “If I could make it a social club more than a travel accommodation, I can really do something in the aging space,” he thought. For more info visit www.freebirdclub.com
January is National Blood Donor Month You don’t need a special reason to give blood. You just need your own reason. Some of us give blood because we were asked by a friend. Some know that a family member or a friend might need blood some day. Some believe it is the right thing to do. Whatever your reason, the need is constant and your donation is important for maintaining a healthy and reliable blood supply. You’ll feel good knowing you’ve helped change a life! To give blood visit these websites: lifesouth.org, redcrossblood.org, cslplasma.com
Do You Know a Senior Who needs a grandPad? Senior citizens are often left out of the loop when it comes to technology. Anyone 75 and older may not own a smartphone or know how to make use of the advanced features, so they don’t see photos and videos on Facebook as often and don’t use Twitter. Yet, over the next 15 years, the portion of the US population made up of senior citizens is expected to double. That might explain a surge in gadgets designed to help the elderly stay connected and safe. grandPad is such a product, a tablet product and support system that connects seniors with their loved ones. Users can tap a picture to make a call, send and receive email, view family photos and videos, play games, listen to music and so much more. Modern ways families stay connected can be overwhelming for older loved ones. But what if the technology was easy to use and actually improved their lives? grandPad does just that. It's a device that truly brings families closer together. Check it out at www.grandpad.net
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The Joy of Living a Meaningful Life:
How to Find Meaning and Overcome Road Blocks By Kimberly Blaker
Women of Hope
Breast Cancer Support Group Tuesday, January 9th, 5:30 p.m. Frazer UMC, Room 8114 6000 Atlanta Highway Enjoy fun and fellowship with your breast cancer “sisters” and friends!
The program will be: Understanding Connective Tissue Dysfunctions Associated with Breast Cancer Surgeries and Effective Rehabilitation
Presented by Dr. Cleve Carter III, Physical Therapist, Founder, Dove Physical Therapy
Everyone is Welcome!
For information please call 334-220-4599 or email womenofhope@charter.net www.thewomenofhope.org
Aaron Neville Quintet
Until now, it's been easy to separate his career into two separate but equal strains: the funky stuff he's favored when working with his esteemed band of brothers, and the angelic balladry you associate with him when he's punching his own time card as a solo artist. Casual fans might admit they don't know much -- to borrow a phrase -- about Neville's musical center, but they've perceived a certain split in his career. An education is about to be provided, then, in the form of Apache , a solo album that makes the case for Aaron Neville as the most holistic of soul men. The Aaron Neville Quintet will be appearing in concert Sunday, February 11, at 7:30 pm. For ticket info and more visit www.mpaconline.org and www.aaronneville.com. The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
"It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts."- Adlai Stevenson The point Stevenson illustrates is how so many of us live our lives falling short of real meaning. It's an interesting phenomenon the amount of time, energy, and money most of us invest in living healthier, longer, and happier lives. Despite this, many of us still feel largely unsatisfied and that our lives are devoid of meaning. When it comes to living a meaningful life, there's no one size fits all solution. What makes life meaningful is unique to every person who walks the planet. So you need to explore and discover what speaks to you. Meaning can come from many different things. Unlike happiness, which stems from taking or doing things for yourself, meaning comes from giving or doing something for others. Perhaps it comes from fostering a close family relationship. For some, it's about choosing a fulfilling career path that involves helping others whether it's through teaching, nursing, counseling, or coaching. For others, it's about giving back to their community by joining the Kiwanis or volunteering as a Big Brother or Big Sister. It can also come from forming an organization for a national cause you're passionate about. Or maybe taking up a hobby you enjoy such as gardening and donating the excess produce to a soup kitchen. Before you begin your journey to explore new avenues, evaluate what you're doing with your life right now. Maybe you're already giving in a way you don't even realize. You might just need to work on changing your frame of mind by realizing what you do does matter. If it still doesn't feel like enough to satisfy you, explore other avenues that are important to you. Once you've decided what will bring meaning to your life is where the challenge often lies. You must make a conscious decision and concerted effort to follow through. Maybe you've chosen a challenging path that involves both sacrifice and risk. Only you can decide if those sacrifices and risks are worth a more meaningful life. Often though, we blow those sacrifices and risks way out of proportion. The greatest risk may simply be taking a chance and an unrealistic fear of failure – and the biggest sacrifice may be little more than stepping outside your comfort zone or setting aside a little happiness in exchange for something more uplifting and meaningful. If these are the things holding you back, work on changing your frame of mind. Schedule 20 minutes a day to sit in solitude with your eyes closed, and envision your meaningful life. Allow yourself to build excitement and desire for that which will bring meaning. Also, spend time daily reading or listening to audiobooks and watching videos online that are relevant to the thing that would provide you a meaningful life. If you're still holding back, talk to supportive family members and friends, and ask them to hold you to it. You might also consider seeking a counselor or coach who can support you and help you move in the direction of your goals. Whatever path you choose and regardless of the outcome, give yourself credit not only for a job well done but for all of your efforts. Always remember, the meaning of your life is as much about how you perceive your actions as it is about what you've done. Kimberly Blaker is a lifestyle and parenting freelance writer. She also writes a blog, The Young Gma's Guide to Parenting at www.theyounggma.com R ive r Re gio n Bo o m . co m January 2018 BOOM! 25
Ask an Elder Law Attorney
By: Raley L. Wiggins | Attorney at Law | Red Oak Legal, PC
Holiday Burnout
I am finally sitting down to write this installment of Ask an Elder Law Attorney the day before Boom! is due to go to the printer. Between the hustle and bustle of the holidays and wrapping up 2016, it seems like there is always one thing left to do. If your family is like mine, then every Christmas gathering is a picture-perfect string of joyful reunions with family, fit for a Norman Rockwell painting. ‘Tis the season for rest and relaxation, when nothing will ever go wrong—right?
more like Christmas in July. Frankly, I’m surprised old Saint Nick managed to make his rounds in Montgomery. That famous red velvet suit is great for the dry freezing tundra of the North Pole, but isn’t the ideal outerwear for piloting an open-top sleigh through the torrential rain and heat we enjoyed this year.
But here we are, Well, not exactly. This year our family was Christmas is behind us and 2017 starts lucky to get to visit with my parents and anew. Most of us march into the new siblings, as well as my wife’s family. But year confident (or at least hopeful) that we had a few bumps along the way, too. the mistakes or unexpected developments A nice little Christmas Virus spent the last of last year are safely behind us. couple of weeks working its way through the family. A Christmas Eve trip to the pediatrician was followed by a Christmas Day scramble Estate Planning and Asset Protection Workshop to refill our Wednesday, January 24: Hosted by Red Oak Legal, PC: 1:30-3:30 oldest child’s pm at the Archibald Senior Center (MACOA) in Montgomery. This asthma medicine. educational workshop presented by local attorney Raley L. Wiggins But at least it covers wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, living culminated in wills, probate administration, protecting assets from creditors, our own little bankruptcy, divorce and remarriage, nursing homes, long-term care “Christmas and Medicaid qualification. Registration is required. Miracle” when Call 334-625-6774 today to reserve your seat or register online at we found the one pharmacy www.redoaklegalpc.com. in town that’s open on When will we ever learn? Christmas Day. (If you’re curious, it’s the In my office, I typically help families in Walgreens on Ann Street!) two situations. The first is when we help people plan ahead. The second group Medicine refilled and little lungs cleared, are what we call “crises” cases. Crises we all finally settled down to rest and cases are when a family is faced with enjoy the rest of Christmas day. You an immediate or imminent need for our know, snuggled in front of the fire with a assistance. A loved one has passed away warm cup of hot chocolate. Except that and their estate must be settled; a parent instead of the fire, we were cranking up or grandparent is about to enter a nursing the AC to fight the sticky eighty-degree home and needs to figure out how to pay weather that made the holiday feel
Attend Free Workshop
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for it; a loved one can no longer manage their own affairs and needs a guardian or conservator to be appointed, just to list a few examples. Even though we see crisis cases in our office every day, it’s difficult to convince people that this will ever happen to their families. That is, there will always be another day, a better time, a perfect time to get around to getting one’s affairs in order, or helping mom or dad to plan to care for themselves in their old age. Some people just aren’t in a hurry to plan ahead. Every year we think that Christmas will be just like that Norman Rockwell image in our mind—a reliving of all of our most precious childhood holiday memories. And every year we have to relearn the lessons of the year before, that despite our best planning there will never be a “perfect” holiday, a perfect Christmas party, a perfect Christmas card, a perfect photo to post on Facebook or Instagram. My wish for all of you this year is that you will be a little wiser than you were last year. I hope that the lessons learned in 2017 will not have to be relearned in 2018. I hope that you all stick to your resolutions for 2018, and finally achieve the perfect image of yourself that you see in your mind. But I also hope that you’ll learn the lesson that we see our clients learning over and over again—you can’t plan for everything, but having a plan sure beats the alternative.
Raley L. Wiggins Attorney at Law, Red Oak Legal, PC 334-239-3625 | info@redoaklegalpc.com 312 Catoma Street, Suite 150, Montgomery, AL 36104, www.redoaklegalpc.com The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
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BOOM! COVER PROFILE
Michael Coleman, Freedom from Poverty This month’s BOOM! Cover Profile is Michael Coleman. Michael is one of those unique people who saw a problem in our community and offered a solution. The problem was how to help people stuck in a poverty lifecycle to grow out of it and create freedom and self-sufficiency through employment. In other words, teaching people to to fish. Michael believes that in order to escape poverty for good, a person needs to develop a skill set that many of us received from our middle class families. A skill set that includes a work ethic, a good attitude, and getting along with others through teamwork. Simple enough to say but difficult for many in our community to develop. Michael, through his team at Hope Inspired Ministries (HIM) works at changing lives through a job training process that will hopefully lead to a job and transition to a productive independent lifestyle. We recently spent some time getting to know Michael and the work he does at HIM. We think you'll enjoy learning more about his stor and how he's changing lives for the better.
years before retiring in April, 2005. During our 21 years in the military, we raised two daughters, Lauren and Taten, and lived in a myriad of places in the United States as well as serving two tours in Germany (Augsburg and Stuttgart). I also had the honor of serving a tour in Desert Shield and Desert Storm.
Michael and his wife Susan
In October 2003, I experienced a radical change in my health. I began to experience a lot of numbness and nerve pain, to the point it began to BOOM!: Please be difficult give us a brief Michael with wife Susie and grandson Cole to walk, biography, much less run. After a couple of i.e. where you’re from, education, hospitalizations and several months of what brought you to the River Region/ testing, I finally received a diagnosis of Montgomery area, did you raise your multiple sclerosis. While the diagnosis family here, schools, married, family, at the time was devastating, the truth is etc.? that I have been blessed in so many ways through this condition. My faith has been Michael: I was born and raised in strengthened, my compassion for others Greenville, AL. At age 18, I finished has greatly increased, and I have met high school at Fort Dale Academy, got some amazing people that battle this married to my high school sweetheart, disease that are far worse off than I am. Susan Burnett, and left for basic training In fact, my condition has been relatively in the U.S. Army all within a one-month stable for the past several years which time frame. After 11 years of enlisted service, I became a commissioned officer has enabled me to pursue ministry to the and ultimately served a total of 21 fullest. Praise God!
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During my time in the military, I received a B.S. in Management from Park University and a M.S. in Christian Ministry from Southern Christian University (now Amridge University). All of this was in anticipation of entering pastoral ministry upon retirement which occurred in 2005. Once retired, my wife and I, along with our two daughters, Lauren and Taten, returned back to the Greenville area, primarily due to both our parents still living in this area. I was fortunate enough to find a pastoral position in the Fort Deposit area and served as minister for a church there for the next five years. I transitioned from pastoral ministry into an inner city ministry where I worked with those in poverty in a more direct manner. This ultimately led me to starting Hope Inspired Ministries (HIM). BOOM!: You are the Founder and Executive Director of Hope Inspired Ministries (HIM). Please share your inspiration for starting this ministry and explain what its purpose is? Michael: HIM came out of a time in which I had been serving people who had spent most, if not all, of their lives in
The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
poverty. Many continued to express to and transform them into employable me a desire adults in a to work but span of nine either could weeks. not find a job or, if they had Alabama is a job, could currently at not hold on a very low to that job for unemployment some reason. rate of 3.2%. I witnessed This means, so many in essence, organizations everyone who helping has a skill Michael praying with students at Hope Inspired Ministries people in and desires poverty but I witnessed very few of these to work already has a job. Those that people ever transitioning out of poverty. are left in the 3.2% are adults that have I came to believe that if I was truly real barriers to employment and simply serious about serving this population, do not possess the it was my responsibility to provide a ability to overcome pathway out for them. these on their own. I concluded that the only way people could ever leave poverty was through sustained employment. So I began a program that would take people where they were and teach them the skills they would need in order to be successful in the workplace. These include such areas as soft skills, employment skills, character building, and financial readiness. More specifically we address issues regarding timeliness, positive attitude, problem-solving, critical thinking, teamwork, integrity, conflict resolution, anger management, etc.
we also must provide a case manager that can coach our students in how to overcome these type issues. A common challenge faced by our students is a lack of a birth certificate, state I.D., or a Social Security card. And what is worse, they don’t have the resources on hand to go get them. This often leads to our students working in environments where they are taken advantage of and further lessens their ability to overcome poverty. How do people qualify to be part of HIM instruction? Each student must first attend a one-hour orientation and the schedule an intake interview where all key issues are discussed including family, employment history, current physical/ mental health, criminal history, addiction history, goals, etc.
For instance, the In order to qualify, vast majority of our one must be over students do not 18 years old, drug possess reliable free, be able to transportation, read at a 6th grade which is a level, and perhaps tremendous most importantly, problem for they must possess students seeking a strong desire to employment with change their life. companies that can pay a living wage The reason that is with benefits. so critical is that we Many of your know in advance readers may that our students be unaware Michael in front of the HIM "graduates tree" are going to be that the required to make significant changes to Montgomery bus system does not their lives. If they have a strong desire have a route to Hyundai so that What are some for something different, they usually precludes our students from ever of the challenges are open to correction and work hard to working there, even though they of operating make those necessary changes. Similarly, are extremely qualified to do so. your unique if they lack the desire, it is seen in every Because of transportation issues, organization? aspect of what they do and, ultimately, they end up taking jobs closer to Simply put, they prove to be unable to successfully home which are typically lower the greatest navigate the requirements of our paying jobs in the service industry. challenge is to program in order to graduate. As a result, the cycle of poverty take adults who continues for another generation are virtually BOOM!: How would you describe the life unless someone steps in and offers unemployable skills your graduates have acquired and a genuine pathway to success. (i.e. unable how do you get them a job opportunity? Michael with granddaughter, Collins This is why it is absolutely essential to obtain and maintain Michael: Life skills and soft skills are that HIM not only provide essential employment over a short period of time) education for the aforementioned skills, The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
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used interchangeably but really they are addressing those skills that anyone in the workplace is going to be expected to have. It doesn’t matter if you have great technical skills, if you can’t get to work on time, exhibit a good work ethic and attitude, and produce desired results, then you are ultimately of little value to a company.
to the benefit of both employer and employee. It is important to note that businesses have come to trust us because they know that we are not going to cut corners on our training and will only give them someone who has proven that they will come to work each day on time, have a good work ethic, a positive attitude, and has the potential to make their business better.
How do they instill a culture of discipline? From the very beginning we establish what our expectations are for each student. When a student steps outside those boundaries, there are consequences for their decision to do so. For instance, when a student makes a mistake, they first receive a verbal warning with instructions as to how to correct their behavior in the future. If they repeat that same behavior, they must complete what is called a “Personal Improvement Plan” or “PIP”. In a PIP, the student puts forth a plan as to how they are going to correct their behavior moving forward. This accomplishes two things. First, it teaches them how to problem-solve. Secondly, it allows them to tell us what they are willing to do to in order to correct their behavior rather than us simply dictating to them what they need to do differently. If the behavior is repeated a third time, that is a good indication that this student is simply not teachable and therefore not ready to move forward in our program. The result is likely dismissal from training.
Most of our students grow up in a poverty culture that places a different emphasis on these skills than someone who is raised in a typical middle class home. BOOM!: What types of For instance, someone who teaching skills are needed grows up in poverty will by you and your staff? have more difficulty getting to work on time because Michael: I tell anyone timeliness is not something who desires to work for Grandson Jack's Kindergarten graduation that has much value in HIM that they will need their world. Therefore, to be somewhere to possess two main characteristics: on time is not something that is 1) They must have a deep love for the emphasized during their informative Lord and 2) they must have a deep years. So there has to be a retraining love and affection for broken people. of sorts to get them to understand The reason is that we primarily deal how essential time management is to with the “throwaways” of our society. The one key difference between us becoming an effective employee. They each have serious issues that and a place of employment is that we must be overcome before they can be anticipate that our students will make After six weeks of soft skill training and employable. Therefore, each employee mistakes. We tell them that we are case management, our students are must lead with compassion and empathy much less concerned about the mistakes partnered with local businesses for three while also simultaneously possessing they make as we are the willingness to weeks to perform an unpaid internship. the ability to learn how to This gives them an opportunity to hold students correct those demonstrate that they can take the skills accountable mistakes learned in the classroom and apply them and observe and then act to a real job. Our goal is to provide a local important upon that business with such an effective employee boundaries. knowledge. that they are willing to give them As long as permanent employment if possible. Is there a they are certification willing to How has the business community process for continue to responded to Hope Inspired Ministries teaching? make the Pirate Michael on a Disney Cruise with son-in-law Allen, (HIM)? The response from local Because necessary and grandson Cole. businesses has been amazing. They our training changes especially like that we are helping focuses on key soft skills that should to their lives, they have no problem people become self-sufficient with an be common in our society, there is no graduating our course. The problems emphasis on hard work. We have found specific certification required. However, arise when they are no longer willing to that most business leaders understand most of our staff members do possess bend their will to the normal standards that people make mistakes or make poor college degrees or are vastly experienced of society that they ultimately are choices in life and they simply need an in dealing with the population we serve. dismissed from our program. However, opportunity to overcome those mistakes. any student who is dismissed has the Our employee partners have been willing opportunity to return to a later class and to give them that chance and it has been start the process all over again.
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The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
How do you measure a student’s success? Each student must be a willing and active participant in the classroom to include any activities, discussions, or exercises. They must meet all the standards that would be required in any workplace such as timeliness, positive attitude, teamwork, and display a good work ethic. In addition, each student must successfully complete a three-week internship. If the student meets all those standards, they are accepted as a graduate of our program.
especially if they’ve experienced the empty nest syndrome of their kids moving on. How would you describe this sense of renewal in your life?
Michael: Having finished one career in the military, I was excited to begin my second career in pastoral ministry. But the truth was that serving as a lead pastor of an established church was BOOM!: As a nonnot the best profit organization, fit for me. what role does money It was only play in your success? when I began to become Michael with grandson Bryce Michael: As with involved in any non-profit, money is the lifeblood the lives of those who are truly broken of an organization. Without the funds (spiritually, physically, and emotionally) necessary to maintain a quality staff and did I find genuine purpose and renewal the means to train our students, most in my life in terms of a career. There is of them will be forever trapped in the nothing more meaningful to me than endless cycle of poverty. to help someone navigate through the hopelessness of poverty and into a Do you work with local churches or world of dignity, self-respect, and selfcivic organizations for support? When sufficiency. I started HIM in January, 2012, my wife and I made a decision to cash in our IRA Any advice for the rest of us seeking and use all of our savings to start the renewal? I believe God equips each program. At the time, we did not have person with gifts and talents to be used any financial supporters other than for His purpose in ministry of some ourselves. But I placed our program type. That does not necessarily mean squarely into the hands of God and that everyone is called to make their trusted in Him to provide what we living in ministry but there is nothing needed. more life-giving that using these gifts in some capacity to change the outcome in Since that time, we have had numerous someone’s life. churches, businesses, foundations, BOOM!: What are you most passionate and individuals come alongside us and about? provide the support needed to sustain our program. We have been extremely Michael: Everyone loves a good blessed by the participation of the underdog story. Most of our students, community in our success! if given the opportunity to be raised in different environments, would likely be BOOM!: Many people over 50 are a doctor, engineer, or an IT specialist; experiencing a renewed sense of they have the intellect and gifting to be purpose, new goals, new careers, so much more. However, because most The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
are raised in environments where there are few resources, little encouragement to pursue education or training of any kind, and few examples of true success, our students simply have not lived up to what they are capable of becoming. It is my passion to help each student realize their gifts and abilities and learn how to utilize those abilities to change their future and the future of their children. BOOM!: What do your grandkids call you? Describe your relationship with them? Michael: Papa. Jackson is 9, Bryson is 6, Coleman is 5, and Collins is 2. I love them all dearly but they are a handful when they are all together. The truth is that Susie, being a great K5 teacher, is a master of being able to handle the chaos of little children. Therefore, they much prefer her company than that of grumpy old papa. I still get in lots of good hugs and kisses though. They are each beautifully gifted in their own way and I am excited to be able to sit back and watch their lives unfold. Do they understand the value of HIM? They are not quite old enough yet to understand the depth of the obstacles that our students have to overcome or the role we play in helping them overcome them. However, as they get older, it is my intention to share with them the importance of making a difference in the lives of those who likely will never have the opportunity to repay you for your help. BOOM!: What are some of your favorite travel destinations and why? Michael: My wife and I lived a little over five years while serving two different tours in Germany. It was a beautiful place to get to experience but any traveling my wife and I will do will most likely be contained within the borders of the United States. We have talked about wanting to visit the northeast in the fall to see the leaves changing and experience a few places that we have not seen before. We also have talked about the possibility of traveling out west in order to revisit old friends from my
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military days that are scattered all over the United States.
BOOM!: Do you have any hobbies or activities that grab your attention?
BOOM!: Give us three words that describe you?
Any travel dreams planned? If we do travel outside the continental United States, it would likely either be to Hawaii or Australia which has always been a dream for my wife.
Michael: I love sports of almost any kind, although I must admit I watch way more sports than I participate in. I still enjoy playing golf on occasion but I really don’t get the chance to do so like I did in the past. The ministry requires so much of my time but I am not complaining…I absolutely love doing what I do!
Michael: Inquisitive (I always want to be learning new things), Humorous (although I have to be careful because I grew up around sarcasm and some folks find that humor to be difficult to accept), and Compassionate (I want to share the burdens of others and never be indifferent to those who are suffering).
BOOM!: As you’ve aged, how have your priorities changed?
BOOM!: If you weren’t the Executive Director of Hope Inspired Ministries what kind of work would you be doing?
BOOM!: What is your relationship with technology and how has it helped you create a successful non-profit that emphasizes skill development? Michael: I realized from the beginning that in order to be successful in the non-profit world, we had to be effective communicators of the stories that were taking place in our program. We believe we have a website that clearly and concisely communicates what we do and who we serve. In addition, we use all forms of social media to continue to share with our supporters the great things our staff and students are doing. We also use technology as a main source to gain students. We will place a simple post about “free job training” on Facebook and then boost that post by zip codes to the areas most affected by poverty. After doing so, we always see people begin to share the post with friends and families and they inadvertently help us spread the word into communities which are generally hard for us to gain access.
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Michael: I find that I as I get older, my focus has shifted somewhat. When my wife and I were in the military and still raising our children, the focus seemed to be more on their future and on what we needed to do to prepare for retirement and relocation back to Alabama. Now that I am in my 50s and my children are married and stable, my focus is on using whatever amount of time I have left on this earth to truly impact the lives of others. We have always been very active in church and our faith has always been the central hub holding our family together, but now it is about spending the coming years giving it my all for the cause of Christ. I believe the best way for me to accomplish this is to show others the same sacrificial love that was first shown to me by God.
Michael: Most likely I would be running my own business of some kind because I have always possessed an entrepreneurial spirit. BOOM!: Wives always play a special role supporting their husband’s ministry efforts, would you please share how your wife has helped you through the challenge of God’s ministry? Michael: Susie has always been my greatest supporter in ministry. In fact, she was the key person who encouraged me to start HIM and didn’t hesitate to allow me to cash in our future retirement and use that money now. She told me to pray about it and if that's where she felt God was leading me, that is where I should go. There would likely not be an HIM without her.
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BOOM!: Please share your recent growth into the Birmingham area? Michael: Because of our success in Montgomery, I was looking for an area to expand our services in other locations. In January, 2017, we expanded to serve the areas of Woodlawn and Eastlake in Birmingham which are two communities that experience high poverty and high crime. Although the expansion has not been without its challenges, we have been blessed with a great staff, great supporters, and several stories of personal transformation in our first year. We are all very excited about the anticipated growth in 2018. What are your future growth plans? HIM is currently developing a strategic plan that will allow us to be able to replicate our services in other regions in the state. We have been contacted by several different communities asking about our ability to help train their residents in employment skills. With the available workforce continuing to shrink across our state, we anticipate that the demand for services will only continue to grow over the coming years. How can the readers of BOOM! help Hope Inspired Ministries (HIM) create more successful students? We encourage readers to go to our website www.HopeInspiredMinistries.org and see all the ways to get involved. We are always looking to bring people alongside what we are doing because we believe that our approach truly produces lasting transformation in our students and thus our community. We want to thank Michael for helping us put together this month’s BOOM! Cover Profile. If you want to learn more about Michael or help out at HIM, email him at mscolemanjr@gmail.com or visit HIM at www. HopeInspiredMinistries.org. We want to thank the portrait team at Total Image Portraits for their quality work. If you have questions, comments or suggestions about our cover profiles, including nominating someone, please send them to jim@riverregionboom.com Read all of the BOOM! Cover Profiles at http://riverregionboom.com/archive/
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Live Longer by Traveling By A. Colin Treadwell
I came across an article the other day that caught my eye called “Advice From a 104-Year Old Doctor.” Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara of Tokyo certainly had some interesting things to say, but the thing that struck me most was this:
Norman Cousins claimed he cured himself of ankylosing spondylitis, a deadly and usually incurable disease, by holing up in a hotel room and watching comedy movies incessantly. He laughed himself to health.
“Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot.” As strangely as that idea strikes the Western mind at first glance, I would be inclined to give a 104-year old doctor a lot of credibility on this subject. And even beyond his authority to speak on health, I can see a lot of truth in his statement. Come to think of it, I have found it to be true in my own experience. And it is one more piece of evidence that supports my pet theory that you will most likely live longer if you travel. Usually people think that you should try to be healthy, so you can be happy. But what if you turn it around? But what if being happy was the key to energy and health? Yes, of course, you still need to eat and sleep. But I think the doctor is onto something here. Peak Moments Versus Nothing Moments I have often been struck by the huge difference in the experience of time when I am locked into office routines for a week versus when I am on a journey of discovery for the same period of time. Those working weeks fly by while I am immersed in repetitive routines, focused only on trying to knock the next thing off my “To Do” list, and then when that one is done, moving on to the next. Days flip
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by with nothing to distinguish one from the other.
The energy you feel when you are happy is the same energy that promotes good health, healing and well-being.
It’s the feeling that every day is the same day again, just starting over – Oh no it’s Monday! Ah great it’s Friday! MondayFriday-Monday-Friday... Sometimes I feel like I’m reaching endlessly for the brass ring, but only flailing my arms. The Euphoria of Discovery Now hold that image and contrast it to a day when you are traveling on a journey of discovery. When you are on a trip and everything is new and fascinating, issues with energy rarely come up. Your senses are sharpened. You are engaged. Your fascination propels you.
Stretching the Dimension of Time A week traveling may measure the same on a clock as a week at the office, but in my experience that week of traveling is much greater, longer and richer. And it stays vivid in my memory, ready for me to return to it over and over, something my routine moments never do.
I know that when I am happy, energy is not an issue. It’s as if my spirit has wings. But if something depresses me it can be hard to move. When you are intensely interested in something, it charges you. It takes your mind off your problems. Being happy can change your state of health instantly.
When I am traveling and fully engaged, I live more in the same amount of time. So, there is that sense in which traveling helps you live longer. But there is now a great deal of scientific research that shows that the health benefits of travel are clearly measurable, and that travel can actually help you to live longer in terms of calendar time.
Dr. Deepak Chopra said he has seen people age 20 years in the instant they are told they have cancer. Nothing happened in that moment but a change of mind. Just the thought of it is crushing to the spirit. In his book Anatomy of an Illness,
Regardless of what a clock or calendar says, my own experience is what really counts to me. And the time I spend traveling feels a lot longer than the time I spend in dull routines.
Scientific Proof The Global Coalition on Aging produced a paper called “Destination: Healthy Aging” on the health benefits of travel. It was a meta-study that pulled together the results of many different scientific
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studies from disparate sources that measured the health benefits of travel. A great variety of data led to one clear conclusion: Travel is good for your health. Here are a few of the findings: • Researchers found that “vacationing is a restorative behavior with an independent positive effect on health.” • Women who vacationed only once in six years or less often, had a significantly higher risk of developing a heart attack or coronary death compared to women who vacationed at least twice a year. • Women who don’t travel are twice as likely to be afflicted with depression as those who do. • Ninety-three percent of people feel happier after a vacation, 77 percent believe their health improves after a vacation and 80 percent believe that vacations result in greater productivity, energy and focus. • After vacationing only a day or two, 89 percent of people find that they are able to relax and forget about work stress. Group travel builds social ties, helps nurture interest in life-long learning. • Travel lowers the risks of diabetes,
metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, heart disease, colon cancer, breast cancer, depression levels and other ailments. • Conversely, the effects of physical inactivity are deleterious to health, and physical inactivity accounts for more than 3 million deaths per year. And There’s More… The U.S. Travel Association launched a multi-year, multimillion dollar study called "Travel Effect" that bolstered the Global Coalition on Aging conclusions in many ways. Early findings clearly show that people who take time off work are more productive, have higher morale and have less stress and burnout than those who don’t. Roger Dow, the president and CEO of the US Travel Association, said, “What we’ve long known anecdotally, we will now prove through authoritative research: travel has a positive effect on health, relationships, business performance and the well-being of communities.” It goes on and on, there is plenty of scientific data to back it up. Travel helps you be healthier, happier and live longer. It’s undeniable.
Longer, Truer, Deeper It is not really so mysterious. Travel reduces stress, and stress is one of the greatest threats to health. As the good doctor pointed out, happiness is good for your health. The science proves it, but I can confirm it by my own experience. Travel helps you live longer and better. It expands life not only in the length of time, but in the richness of your time. So, you can cast aside any guilt you may have for having a good time. Happiness is good for your health. And you owe it to yourself, your loved ones, your descendants and the world to stay as healthy as possible as long as possible. So, there it is. There is your justification to go ahead and take the best trip of your life. Happy Travels, Your Humble Reporter, A. Colin Treadwell acolintreadwell@gmail.com P.S. If you would like to dust off my archives and read previous articles, please visit. http://www.tauck.com/travel-blog/musingsfrom-colin-treadwell.aspx This travel blog was first published at www.tauck.com
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Decorating Tips & Trends:
Affordable Stylish Ideas for a Fresh Look Are you tired of the dated, dull, or well-worn appearance of your interior? If so, an update may be in order. But there are many ways to create a fresh look without breaking the bank. Use the following tips to create a new look by combining some of your existing furniture or décor with a few new or newused pieces to achieve the atmosphere you desire.
By Kimberly Blaker
Painted furniture. This trend has come and gone and come around again. That's excellent news for creating a whole new look without the expense of all new furniture. Several styles of painted furniture are currently popular, so there's something to fit every personality. Painted styles include the worn look, matte finishes, and ceruse style. Colors range from the ever-popular grays and muted hues to bright and bold color paints Toss the vertical blinds. These lack appeal and have gone to the wayside. The trend is for windows to add to the beauty of a room. When windows are ignored, they make a room feel dull and uninviting. Look for elegant fabrics in solids or prints that complement the colors and styles in your room. Another popular choice is bamboo shades, which add texture. Mix patterns. At one time, this was a strict no-no, but it's become increasingly popular. There are several tricks to make it work though. First, use patterns of various sizes. Use a large pattern, medium pattern, and small pattern to bring them together without conflict. Also, use patterns in odd numbers. For example, rather than 2 or 4 different patterns, use 3 or 5. Be sure to balance the patterns throughout the room rather than cramming them all in one area.
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Navy is cool. It isn't just that it has a cool undertone either. It's one of the most popular colors right now. For larger rooms, you could paint the entire room navy. In smaller rooms, paint window casings and doors in navy and perhaps a single wall.
Mix & match furniture. Nothing says boring more than a living room full of matched seating and ottomans. Create contrast with complimentary colors and patterns. If your sofa is solid beige, try adding a chair with a red, beige, and brown pattern. Combine styles. Gone are the days when everything in a room had to be of a singular style. Today, people are combining two or three of their favorite styles to create character and uniqueness. It's merely a matter of choosing the right pieces from different styles that complement each other. Minimal is more. The decor is important to any room. It adds personality and creates intrigue. But overdone can feel overwhelming and makes it difficult to notice anything. A few scattered pieces to create focal points is better. Avoid 'fast furniture.' The era of throwing a room together with cheap, disposable furniture is over and for obvious reasons. Opt instead for quality pieces that will last and add value to a room. If the cost of new quality furniture isn't in your budget, watch Craigslist and estatesales.net for like-new quality pieces at a fraction of the price.
Mix metallics. People commonly use only gold or only silver tones in a room. But the two combined can be very attractive. Add plenty of texture. Modern and contemporary is the in-thing. But too much of it makes for a dull, sterile look. This problem is easy to solve by adding texture, which creates dimension and makes a room more interesting. Add tufted or fur pillows to a sofa. Also, add a few objects with a rough finish and a shag rug to a hardwood floor. Don't forget to bring in elements of nature with a couple of plants or a stack of logs near the fireplace. Mix tableware. This is a great way to save money while adding interest to your table. One option is to choose one pattern for dinner plates, another for salad plates, and another for bowls that complement each other. Alternatively, select several different place settings each in different colors or patterns. These can be had for practically nothing at thrift stores, estate sales, or on clearance. The right size art for your wall. When choosing art, it should be proportional to the size of the wall. Large pieces go on large wall spaces, and small go in small areas. Also, hang art at the right height. An average height person's head should come to the center of the art piece. Add height. There are several ways to make a ceiling appear higher. First, choose a ceiling color that's light and at least a shade or two lighter than the wall. Use short furniture to make a room look taller. Finally, order extra-long drapes so you can raise the curtain rod 5” to 7” above the window casing. Kimberly Blaker is a lifestyle and parenting freelance writer. She also writes a blog, The Young Gma's Guide to Parenting at www.theyounggma.com
The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
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By Barbara Graham
7 Unbreakable Laws of Grandparenting A columnist shares the family rules that can keep you out of trouble On the one hand, it was so simple. There was a new baby, Isabelle Eva, and there was nothing to do except love her. That was the one hand. The other hand, belonging to her parents, held all the cards. I soon learned that I could love my granddaughter fiercely, but I had no say — in anything. She was mine, but not mine. Although this is perfectly natural and should not have shocked me, it did. (OK, I admit that on occasion the word “bossy” has been used to describe my behavior. Still.) For many parents used to being in charge, deferring to the rules and wishes of our adult children and their partners is humbling. I ended up editing a book on the subject to help me get a handle on my new role. Here are seven guidelines that — so far — have kept me out of hot water: 1. Seal your lips. Even if you’re an expert who has written 13 bestsellers on parenthood, your adult sons and daughters will assume you know nothing about childrearing. Your advice and opinions will not be welcome, unless directly solicited. (Even then, it’s iffy as to whether the new parents really want to hear your answer.) Tread lightly. As Anne Roiphe lamented in the anthology Eye of My Heart, “Ah, my poor tongue is sore from being bitten.” 2. You may love thy grandchild as thine own — but never forget that he or she is not thine own. I was confused about this in the beginning. I was at the hospital when Isabelle was born, and I thought we were all one big happy family. Not. I had to win over her parents. They loved me — I knew that — but did they trust me? In the early days I felt as if I were auditioning for the part of grandparent. Did I hold Isabelle properly? Didn’t I know that you never put a newborn down on her stomach? It took me a few blunders to secure their trust — which must be renewed every so often, like a driver’s license. 3. Abide by the rules of the new parents. The dos and don’ts of childrearing change with every generation. If I had listened to my mother, I would have held my son only while feeding him (every four hours) — and
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new order. (Yes, of course we still secretly hope that our grandchildren will love us more than those other people. We are, after all, human.)
not one second longer, lest he turn into a “mama’s boy.” These days, with the crush of childrearing information online, most new parents are up to speed — and beyond — but we grandparents most definitely are not. Baby slings? The Mutsy Slider Stroller? Who knows what these things are or how to operate them? 4. Accept your role. If you’re the mother of a new father, you may not have the same access to your grandchild as a maternal grandmother, at least in the beginning. New mothers are often the primary caretakers of babies, and they tend to lean on their mothers for support. This is not a problem — unless you think it is. Your grandchild will love you too. Anyhow, all grandparents — whether on the maternal or paternal side — are at risk of being shut out if they fail to observe any of these commandments. Try to think of yourself as a relief pitcher in a baseball game: You’re on the bench until your adult children call you up and then you must do as they say if you want to stay in the game. (We’ve already covered this, but I think it’s key.) 5. Don’t be surprised if old issues get triggered when your child has a child. For many people, feelings of competition with their grandchild’s other grandparents provoke traumatic flashbacks to junior high school. This is especially true now, given the proliferation of divorce and stepfamilies. Not only that, some grandparents are able to lavish the kids with expensive gifts, while others live much closer to the children than their counterparts. Still, a little goodwill goes a long way. The heart is a generous muscle capable of loving many people at once, and most of us are able to get past the initial rush of jealousy to find our special place in the
6. Get a life. Sometimes I’ve become overly embroiled in my concern for my son and his family; at other times my desire to be an integral part of their lives has taken precedence over things I needed to do to maintain my own sense of well-being — and I’ve paid the price. Hence, my mantra: “I have my life. They have theirs.” We are close and connected, yet separate. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. 7. Let go of all expectations. When Isabelle Eva was born, she was living around the corner from us, but when she was two months old her parents moved her overseas. Not only was I heartbroken, my expectations about my involvement in her life were turned upside down. Yet once I was able to let go of my agenda — which took some doing — I found that I still felt deeply connected to Isabelle and vice-versa. Now my husband and I visit her as often as we can and, in between visits, we Skype and talk on the phone. There are bound to be unpredictable plot twists in every family narrative, but unless you are raising your grandchildren, your adult children are writing their own story. (See No. 4: Relief pitcher, on the bench.) Who knew that grandparenthood would offer so many new opportunities for personal growth?
Ultimately, the good news about becoming a grandparent, and not being in charge anymore, is that nothing is your fault, either. As Roxana Robinson wrote in Eye of My Heart, “It’s like being told you no longer have to eat vegetables, only dessert — and really only the icing.” Barbara Graham, a Grandparents.com columnist, is the editor of the anthology, Eye of My Heart: 27 Writers Reveal the Hidden Pleasures and Perils of Being a Grandmother, which tells "the whole crazy, complicated truth about being a grandmother in today's world."
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Eating Smart with Tracy Bhalla
Heart Healthy Diets Let’s start out the New Year with a fresh look at our diets and how we can change them to look after our most vital organ, our heart. Visit www.cardiosmart.org/nutrition for more ideas, but, straight from the cardiologist’s desk, these are the key things you should be doing (and we’ll look at each in more detail): 1) Boost your intake of fruits and vegetables, and whole grains. 2) Cut back on sodium, sugars and saturated fats 3) Don’t forget to exercise. We can all eat more fruit and vegetables, particularly fresh ones (not tinned or jarred, though frozen is fine). There are three specific diets that Cardio Smart recommends: 1) Mediterranean, 2) DASH and 3) Vegetarian. All involve an increase in fruit and vegetables compared to a general US diet. Let’s look at them in more detail. First the Mediterranean, for centuries well known as one of the healthiest diets out there. This diet is light on meats and sweets and concentrates instead on larger portions of fruits and vegetables, beans, legumes and whole grains, fish, nuts and olive oil. It would not be uncommon to find that dessert would be a plate of naturally sweet watermelon or strawberries instead of sugar-laden cake, for example. They also tend to eat seasonally – that is they eat whatever fruit and vegetables are available locally that season; that way they are not paying a premium price for imported goods and the goods they buy can be grown locally, thus supporting local farmers. A win win. Also, when you buy produce that has been brought in all the way from South America, say, in refrigerated containers on ships, it can be weeks if not months old by the time you get it. Local produce is fresh, and if it’s organic too, all the better. Organic fruit and vegetables contain up to 50% more nutritional value than their non-organic counterparts. Something to remember when you balk at the price tag.
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Everything is cooked in olive oil, a healthy fat, and it is also used as the base for any dressings or sauces. This, combined with the low meat levels, means low levels of saturated fats are consumed. Second in line is what they call the DASH diet – Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH). This focuses on limiting salt to less than 1500 mg per day. The key factors to the diet are 1) Lean meats and low-fat dairy, 2) Fruits, vegetables and whole grains, 3) limiting salt – checking labels and adding salt at the table as opposed to during cooking. Salt (or sodium) is a key factor in hypertension, so if you suffer from this or if it is a problem in your family you should seriously look at this diet. My husband, the cardiologist, would always tell his patients to add salt at the table, purely because you tend to use less that way. Once it’s dissolved into cooked food, often people will still add more after anyway, so you end up doubling up on it. Another thing to be aware of is the actual meaning of the terms used for sodium on food labels. “Light or reduced sodium” means 25% less sodium than what the food normally contains, “Low sodium” means 140mg or less in one serving, “Very Low Sodium” means 35mg or less in one serving, “Sodium-free” means 5mg or less in one serving, “Unsalted” is the only one which actually means NO Sodium added to the food. Thirdly, the vegetarian diet, which obviously concentrates on fruits and vegetables, legumes, grains, seeds and
nuts. No meat, though some “vegetarians” still eat fish and dairy is optional (vegans eat neither meat, fish nor dairy). This is a harder one for most Americans to follow, though I have to say I am meeting more and more vegetarians these days and it is all down to the health benefits. Personally, I cannot go entirely vegetarian, but I do limit my intake to purely organic meat and wild caught fish. Quality not quantity. All three of these diets will help you maintain a healthy weight naturally, lower the risk of heart disease AND improve blood pressure. Surely good enough reasons for us all to try a little harder to eat healthier this year? But let’s not forget the exercise! Even walking for 10-15 minutes a day will have positive health benefits: increased lung capacity, improved resting heart rate, pumping oxygen around your body especially if exercising outdoors is wonderfully beneficial for both heart and mind. When you get home from work, or before you leave – or even at lunchtime – just take a walk around the block. I promise if you do this EVERY day, you will see the benefits. Of course, the whole package is diet and exercise combined. One thing you don’t hear about the Mediterraneans is that after every meal they WALK. It helps digestion, it gets the blood flowing and stops that sluggish feeling after a big meal (and believe me they can eat a lot of food, but they walk it off!) So, happy eating and happy walking in 2018! Tracy Bhalla, Independent Consultant with NYR Organics, website: us.nyrorganic.com/shop/ tracybhalla email: nyrbhalla@gmail.com You can also visit Tracy’s blog at Tracybhalla.com, Continuing my obsession with all things organic, I have been working with NYR for two years now, using their skincare products myself for over 25 years! Your skin is the body’s largest organ, it deserves to be well looked after. I am here to answer any questions you may have.
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By Jeff Barganier
Sylva, North Carolina The Crossroads of Fun and Beauty
flies and catch up on where Major highways skirt “the happy fish” are biting. Sylva, North Carolina whereupon travelers zip along in haste to a thousand destinations, often unaware they are by-passing some of the most beautiful sights and interesting activities anywhere in the world. Jackson County is home to If Jackson County is Western North Carolina’s Fly the not-so-hidden Jeff Barganier Fishing Trail with 4,600 miles jewel of Western North of trout streams and receives an annual Carolina—and it is—Sylva is the beating stocking of heart of its northern corridor, the home 92,800 trout! of lush mountains, stunning water falls, The county epicurean delights, pottery, art, history, also holds the fly-fishing and craft beer. If I could wake state record up tomorrow morning in North Carolina, for the largest I’d choose Sylva. trout ever caught. Dale I’d start the day early by having breakfast knows those at the Coffee Shop at 385 West Main. It’s waters well. just a wonderful old-fashioned, holeHe could in-the-wall coffee shop with booths, direct me to superb home-cooked food and the most a soothing beautiful pies ever—coconut, lemon, scenic stream berry, all the classics. But I digress. For where I’d breakfast, I’d have a ham and cheese spend a few omelet with coffee while perusing the hours fishing under treeinteresting history on filtered morning light and the walls and conversing pondering where to have with the friendly locals lunch. who have frequented this family-owned restaurant Then, perhaps, I’d head since the fifties. over to Soul Infusion Tea House and Bistro for the Afterward, I’d probably best roast beef sandwich go hang out with riveron the planet and a cup of guide Dale Collins at the fire roasted tomato soup; or Tuckaseegee Fly Shop up maybe to Lee’s at the Depot the street where I’d pick or Kostas Family Restaurant out some cool fly-fishing in Dillsboro. Kostas is one attire, build a couple of Balsam Mountain Inn Porch
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of the few places I’ve found that has liver and onions just the way I like it. After lunch, I’d drive over to the Balsam Mountain Inn and immerse myself in history. The wooden Neo-classical and Victorian inn dates back to 1908 and is one of the few historic inn’s still standing in North Carolina. Walking its halls is eerily like time travelling. Its serene setting is
Balsam Mountain Inn
stunningly beautiful. When one sits on the long porch in a rocker and gazes out at the mountain beyond, time has a way of fading to a standstill, like the trains used to do at the bottom of the hill where ladies, gentlemen and children— all guests—would disembark. It reminds me of the historic inns in New England— architectural antique treasures—that offer an opportunity to experience life in another day and age. After a nap, I’d drive back over to Main Street in Sylva and take an exploratory
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Horseback riding at Smokemont Riding Stable
stroll. I might stop at Innovation Brewing to sample some craft beer, grab a box of delights at Baxley’s Chocolates, and then head over to Dillsboro to visit the splendid pottery shops. Brant and Karen Barnes at Riverwood Pottery do amazing demonstrations as does Joe Frank McKee at Tree House Pottery. With such talented artisans, it’s no wonder Dillsboro has become the heart of Western North Carolina’s pottery arts scene and the home of the annual November 4th Pottery Festival. Time permitting, I might visit the nearby Green Energy Park and watch Emily Powell create handblown glass designs. Situated on an old landfill from which it harnesses methane gas for power, the park is described as “an ecological, artistic and environmental marvel where art is created at 2000 degrees Fahrenheit.” I’d conclude my day with a leisurely evening meal at Lulu’s on Main— probably the cedar plank grilled Atlantic
Trout fishing with a guide at Tuckaseegee Fly Shop
salmon topped with grilled strawberry, onion and basil compote and served with rice pilaf and vegetable. For dessert, I’d have Lulu’s Chocolate Lava Brownie: a homemade brownie topped with toffee from Baxley's Chocolates and finished with fresh whipped cream, “…and a cup of decaf too, please.” Next morning, to work off my overindulgences, I’d drive up to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park at Cherokee to Smokemont Riding Stable and ride my favorite horse, Bubba, over the mountain to one of Western North Carolina’s spectacular waterfalls. Along the way, Bubba and I would pass an historic white school house sitting up off the path, and we would view some of the most beautiful, lush mountain scenery anywhere on earth, complete with native flora, fauna, mountain streams and old growth forest. Bubba might snort, “so what.” But that would be easy for him to say. He wakes up in Jackson County, North Carolina every morning!
Pottery by Karen Barnes
For more information:
www.Smokemontridingstable.com www.tuckflyshop.com www.riverwoodpottery.com www.treehousepotterync.com www.emilypowellglassdesigns.weebly.com www.flyfishingtrail.com www.JCGEP.org www.baxleyschocolates.com www.dillsboronc.info www.kostasdillsboro.com www.balsaminn.net www.lulusonmain.com www.leeswine.com www.soulinfusion.com fb.com/The-Coffee-Shop fb.com/innovationbrewing
Jeff S. Barganier is a freelance writer and business manager of Cindy Barganier Interiors LLC. He travels far and wide upon the slightest excuse for something interesting to write about. Contact Jeff at Jeffbarganier@knology.net. Follow him on Instagram: #jeffbarganier.
Jeff will be signing his new book Wednesday January 17th, 11:30-2:30 at Montgomery Antiques & Interiors 1955 Eastern Blvd, Montgomery The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
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By Greg Budell
The Mayor of BOOMTOWN
REELING IN THE YEARS I am looking forward to 2018.
the northwest at 15 to 20 miles per hour’, right? You’d say, ‘I think we’re expecting showers later with a little wind’.
I don’t do resolutions because they are set-ups for failure. I’ve never lost any weight, quit smoking or stopped dropping the occasional F bomb.
I understood the idea immediately. It was further explained that when I had friends over to enjoy music, and I popped the new Led Zeppelin album on, and a friend said, “what’s the name of that one?”, I didn’t cup my hand over my ear and scream “how now brown cow and holy moly, we just climbed the Stairway to Heaven!”.
The older I get, the simpler I keep things, so my goal at the outset of 2018 is but one- KEEP LIVING! Should I accomplish that for at least the first couple weeks of ‘18, there is one date this month I’m looking forward to celebrating: JANUARY 14- 45 YEARS ON THE RADIO! It all started on a Sunday morning, at 4AM when fewer people would be tuned in (to diminish the damage an untried, untested broadcaster might do), the ABC-FM station in Chicago launched The Great Experiment! I had been in radio for a couple years, but had no plans to go on the air. My passion was studying listeners- why they chose certain stations and liked or disliked certain personalities. I was fascinated by the process, and compiled hundreds of pages of research seeking to quantify the trends I observed. Coincidental to that, radio was moving away from Disc Jockeys (I hate that term- makes me think of a small guy in
"The Great Experiment"
a checkered shirt sitting on a rotating turntable) to, for lack of a better term, UN-disc jockeys. Instead of fast talking babblers saying nothing of substance, the industry wanted people who could make radio a one on one experience. The concept was explained to me this way- “when someone on the street asks if you know what the weather is going to be you don’t cup your hand over your ear and shout ‘partly cloudy skies with a 50 percent chance of showers with winds out of
We’d say something like “Wasn’t that great? That’s called Stairway to Heaven. I can never hear that song enough!”, and saying it in a casual, conversational tone. Though, eventually I did hear “Stairway” enough, the idea was to forget you were in a radio studio talking to thousands of people, and “narrowcast” to one person at a time. Our boss at ABC-FM was a risk-taking, forward thinking genius, so one day he said “Greg, you know the listeners, you know the music, you have a pleasant voice and you have no pre-conceived ideas about how to broadcast- want to try it?”. So, I opened the mike at 4AM on 1/14/73 and launched my career with “Reeling In The Years” by Steely
Greg Budell's column is proudly sponsored by McDonald & Hagen Wealth Management
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Dan. In two words or less, I SUCKED! Instead of inviting listeners into my living room and casually sharing great music, I made it sound like “these are the last songs I’m listening to on DEATH ROW before they fry me tomorrow”. I couldn’t breathe and talk simultaneously. Horrible. The boss was kind in appraising my debut, but I know I fell short of his expectations and mine, too. I may have continued with my research work, which would have led to great wealth and early retirement, but in those lousy 6 hours I got bit by being on the air and wanted another crack at it. Before I had a chance to consider my career path, ABC in Chicago got hit by the Bird Flu (it may have been swine or one of the other plagues of the 70smemory is a bit hazy on that) and it was all hands-on deck. I was pressed into service as the morning news man, which put me back in the studio with a lot less pressure since all I had to do was read and interact with the host.
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After a few days, I quickly adapted to the studio and got over the nervousness. Then, our ABC affiliate in Detroit lost 3 hosts to the ABC affiliate in New York. The program director in Detroit called Chicago and asked if they had any ‘talent’ they could spare. My boss urged me to go- and lie. “Don’t tell them you’ve only been on the air for a week. You’ve been with us for 6 months so tell them that”. I never had to because the guy in Detroit never asked. “You start at 6 tonight”, he said as he picked me up at the Detroit airport. The whole thing was so crazy I couldn’t be nervous. After ONE show, he offered me any of the three jobs he had open“take your pick”. I was only 20 and wasn’t eager to leave Chicago and my family, so I declined. I stayed in Detroit for 3 weeks, living large at a Howard Johnson near the station, and returned to my beloved Windy City. I find that amusing today, because Chicago- excepting a couple miles of
DMZ territory downtown- has become a hell hole of a broken-down city and you couldn’t get me back there without a warrant. I don’t even want to be buried there in the family plot. It was never my goal, but since Bluewater Broadcasting in Montgomery just extended my contract through the end of 2023, I’ll have a chance to hit 50 years on the air, a rare feat. All I have to do is KEEP LIVING. I wish the same for you in 2018. Here’s to our good health, and the chance to keep reeling in the years!
Greg Budell lives in Montgomery with his wife, Roz, and dogs Hershey and Briscoe. He’s been in radio since 1970, and is marking 12 years in the River Region in 2017. He hosts the Newstalk 93.1FM Morning Show with Rich Thomas, Jay Scott & Emily Hayes, 6-9AM Monday-Friday. He returns weekday afternoons from 3-6PM for Happy Hour with sidekick Joey Clark. Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com
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January 2018
{12 Things} for active boomers and beyond
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA
The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen Saturday/Sunday, January 6-7 11 am, 2 and 4 pm
Children will be spellbound as Gerda struggles to free her friend Kai from the clutches of an evil queen with a frozen heart. With the help of her faith and loyalty, Gerda proves that love can always triumph over evil. Recommended ages 4+ with a run time: approximately 70 minutes. Shows are at 11 am, 2:00 and 4:00 pm on Saturdays and Sundays only. Tickets may be purchased at ASF. This production is performed in The Octagon. For more information, call ASF 334.271.5353 or visit www.asf. net/project/the-snow-queen/
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Eat A Peach, Allman Brothers Tribute Capri Theatre Thursday, January 11, 7:30 pm
With the tragic loss of founding members Gregg Allman and Butch Trucks, as well as Col. Bruce Hampton, this band's impact on American music has been felt now more than ever. With that being said, and as The Vintage Concert Series at Montgomery's Capri Theatre begins to take form, our next show ll be Thursday, January 11th, as Live & Listen is proud to present Eat A Peach: A Tribute To The Allman Brothers Band at the Capri Theatre. Featuring multiple members of Black Jacket Symphony, Eat A Peach brings a high-energy, authentic approach to their tribute, which will undoubtedly make for a night to remember in Old Cloverdale. For more info visit www.liveandlisten.com
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Humorist, Jeanne Robertson MPAC Friday, January 12, 8 pm
Jeanne Robertson specializes in hilarious humor based on her life experiences. Speaking to thousands of people annually, she utilizes her positively funny style to illustrate that a sense of humor is much more than a laughing matter. Jeanne Robertson is funny. Oh my, yes. She also knows that her job is far more than "being funny." Her message is that a sense of humor is an attitude, an approach toward working with people. She believes that this humor attitude can be developed and improved, and she outlines how to do so while she
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captivates her audiences with funny, original stories. For ticket info visit www.mpaconline.org
30a SEASIDE, FLORIDA
The 30A Songwriters Festival Along Highway 30a, Florida Gulf Coast Friday-Sunday, January 12-15th, various times and venues The 9th annual festival, held in venues along scenic Highway 30A in Florida’s South Walton County, will feature headline performances from esteemed artists EMMYLOU HARRIS, STEVE EARLE, THE ZOMBIES, PATTY GRIFFIN, LEE ANN WOMACK, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, EMILY SALIERS OF INDIGO GIRLS, SHAWN MULLINS, CHARLES KELLEY OF LADY ANTEBELLUM . Also confirmed on the main stage are PKathy Mattea, Paul Thorn, Aaron Lee Tasjan, Ed Roland, James McMurtry, Hayes Carll, Drivin' N' Cryin' and Ruthie Foster. There will be 175 artists, 225 performances at more than 25 venues. For more info visit www.30asongwritersfestival.com
BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA BourbonHam The Haven, Birmingham
Sunday, January 21, 2-6 pm
BourbonHam is Birmingham’s premiere Bourbon and BBQ fundraising event for the National MS Society. Whether you are a bourbon afficianado or novice, BourbonHam is definitely a must for all to experience. Bourbon accompanied with award winning BBQ, live blues music & the National MS Society make for a great southern event for all to attend. With multiple ticketing options to choose from, patrons will have the opportunity of tasting a selection of over 50 different bourbons/whiskeys along with a sampling of award winning BBQ to indulge in while listening to live music. You can also catch the AFC & NFC playoff games as they are televised at the event. for more info visit www.bourbonham.com or www.eventsathaven.com
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Digital & Interactive
f re e su bsc r i pt i on s at w w w.rive r re gio n b o o m.co m MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Riverdance 20th Anniversary MPAC Wednesday, January 24, 7-9 pm
Riverdance - The 20th Anniversary World Tour will feature new costumes, new lighting, new projections and the addition of a brand new number, "Anna Livia," featuring the female members of the Irish dance troupe in an a cappella hard-shoe number. More Info visit www.mpaconline.org
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Fly ASF January 26, 2018 – February 11
Inspired by the story of the Tuskegee Airmen, The New York Times described Fly as “a superior piece of theatrical synergy.” With a focus on hope, endurance, and accomplishment, Fly tells the story of the first African-American Army Air Corps fighters who flew over the skies of Europe and North Africa during World War II. Fly dramatizes the historic contributions made by the Tuskegee Airmen to the desegregation of the American military and the furthering of civil rights. Learn more about Fly here www.asf.net/ about-fly/ For tickets visit ASF box office or www.asf.net
BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA Dancing with the Stars BJCC Concert Hall, Birmingham, AL Friday, February 9, 8 pm
TV’s hottest show is going back on tour across America this winter in Dancing with the Stars: Live! – Light Up the Night. Fans of the show have the opportunity to see the best ballroom dancers in the business perform live in their hometowns. This all-new production showcases ballroom and contemporary dances from ABC’s hit show Dancing with the Stars, including sizzling group numbers, steamy duets and over the top original pieces. For more info visit www.bjcc.org
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA The Killer, Cash, and the King ASF, Blount Cultural Park Wednesday, February 14, 7:30 - 9pm
Spend this Valentine’s Day with the Killer, Cash, and the King! Take a walk down memory lane to the greatest era of rock ‘n’ roll music with three iconic legends: Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash, and Elvis Presley. You’ll be all shook up when these electrifying tribute artists bring legends to life for a one-night-only musical spectacular. Enjoy classic songs, such as “Blue Suede Shoes,” “Hound Dog,” “Heartbreak Hotel,” “Great Balls of Fire,” “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On,” “Folsom Prison Blues,” “Walk the Line,” “Ring of Fire,” and more! Tickets on sale now. This production is performed in The Festival. For more information, call 334.271.5353 or visit www.asf.net
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MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA The Big Wine Bash 129 Coosa, above Central Friday, February 23, 6-8 pm
The Big Wine Bash. A wonderfully diverse wine tasting, with over 100 selections to choose from. a sampling of some of the wineries participating Wineries thus far: Goldschmidt, Klinker Brick, Pali, Sean Minor, Alexander Valley Vineyards, Juan Gil Family Wines, Jackson Family Wines, Foley Family Wines, Elizabeth Spencer...How Much: $30 in advance, $40 at the door. Tickets are now on saleat Ted the Wine Guy and online at the Eventbrite website: https://www. eventbrite.com/e/big-wine-bash-2018-tickets-39851485867
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Three Dog Night in Concert MPAC Friday, May 11, 8 pm
Legendary music icons, THREE DOG NIGHT, celebrate their 4th decade bringing with them some of the most astonishing statistics in popular music. In the years 1969 through 1974, no other group achieved more top 10 hits, moved more records or sold more concert tickets than THREE DOG NIGHT. Songs like “Mama Told Me (Not To Come)”, “Joy to the World”, “Black and White”, “Shambala” and “One” serve to heighten our emotions and crystallize THREE DOG NIGHT’s continuing popularity. For more info visit www.mpaconline.org
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA Delbert McClinton in Concert MPAC, Downtown Montgomery Saturday, May 12, 8 pm
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love Delbert McClinton and those who haven’t heard him yet. Delbert is always working on that second group.The multi-Grammy Award winning artist is at the top of his game with his 19th studio album, Prick Of The Litter (Hot Shot Records/Thirty Tigers). The new offering captures the balance of soulful energy and restraint that the legendary performer has been delivering in his live performances for decades all over the world. On Prick of the Litter, Delbert incorporates a variety of styles, and as always, just enough to keep him comfortably outside the traditional marketing categories. For more info visit www.mpaconline.org or www.delbert.com
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By Ricard Watts
A Boomer Parent’s Apology to Millennials
The 'Entitlemania' author and lawyer offers a generational mea culpa As a boomer parent, I’ve noticed that some of the current conversation between other boomer parents and their Millennial kids centers on what the parents perceive as the younger generation’s impenitent sense of entitlement and a lack of drive and motivation. Well perhaps, in addition, we find them a bit short on ambition, bewildered about a life direction, infected with an obsession for social media and generally lacking perspective. What is your problem Millennials? We have given you everything! How We Raised Our Millennial Kids Growing up we never got the attention you received. Our parents made us responsible to go figure it out. That caused us continual struggle and disappointment. We rescued you from all of that! We mapped out your childhood with endless activities, sports and entertainment. When you were toddlers, we decided what hobbies and sports you would participate in. We were intentional enough to select activities that fit our own passions, so we could help you gain proficiency and enjoy the journey while you learned, and we participated. Nothing was too great of a need when it came to your success. Our lofty expectations only matched the potential we saw in you, even if you didn’t see it yourself. Perhaps, however, it is time for boomer parents to take a good hard look at what we did: I We decided to give our kids everything we didn’t have, and rejected teaching them some of the hard lessons we did
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have. I We insisted our kids succeed and make us proud according to our expectations, no matter how much tough-love parenting we overlooked to ensure that raising them was fun. I We behaved like drone parents, seeking out and removing obstacles and adversity to their success. Like growing a palm tree indoors, we protected them from the wind, fertilized them and kept the storms away. Now we push them outside and expect them to handle the gales of real life. So what can we do this late in the game? First, let’s take responsibility so the Millennials recognize we caused a problem. An Apology to Millennials So here we go. Speaking for my generation of boomer parents… “Kids, we are sorry. We thought we had your best interest at heart, but in reality, we were making you look good to make us look good. We wanted a best friend and failed to realize that parenting was more valuable to you than our friendship. We let our love for you hijack our parenting skills. We prevented you from experiencing the natural consequences of your own actions. We were afraid to risk your affection when we should have equipped you with the life tools that only come from allowing you to struggle, persist and recover on your own. We felt
obligated to explain every time we said ‘No!’ We handed you an allowance when you didn’t do anything for it. We gave you too much and anesthetized your drive. But most egregious, we prevented you from exploring and honing your passions. We put blinders on you to keep your head looking in the direction we carefully mapped and now you are without expression. We are most sincerely sorry and ask you to recognize, accept, and forgive our failure.” A Promise to Millennials Next, here is our promise to you going forward: I We boomer parents will encourage you in whatever endeavor you attempt, whether it is a success or a failure. I We will only give advice when you ask. I We will share with you and your children the struggles and setbacks we experienced when we were kids because recognizing and discussing our failures can teach more than boasting about our successes. I We will withdraw our financial support (perhaps over time), and allow you to feel the struggles, the independence and finally pride that results from victory over adversity. I We will begin to accept the reality that we boomer parents are only going to be on this planet a short time longer and our lasting legacy will only be the tools and traditions we leave with you, our Millennial children. Sorry we got a late start at being your parents . . . but we have never stopped loving you. We were intentionally spoiling you, unintentionally. Richard Watts is the author of Entitlemania: How Not to Spoil Your Kids, and What to Do If You Have. He is also a personal adviser and legal counsel to the super wealthy and founder and president of Family Business Office, a legal and consulting firm in Santa Ana, Calif.
The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine
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January 2018
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