No
word has endured in the ever-shifting panoply of youth slang like the word ‘cool’. It has seen off challenges over the years from such vernacular titans as ‘rad’, ‘wicked’, ‘brill’ and ‘sweet’ to name but a few. Perhaps the word ‘cool’ is itself actually cool and no other word will ever be able to knock it of its shiny self-perpetuating pedestal. What exactly cool describes is eternally difficult to pin down: it is an evasive quality which can change in a split second and always remains tantalisingly out of reach. Puffy lace ruffs were cool in the 17th century, certainly aren’t cool now but could be cool again in a year; you and I as mere mortals just don’t know. What is infinitely easier to define however is what is ‘not cool’, in a sort of ‘Dude you took a dump on my lawn last night…that was not cool’ kind of way. This rambling diversion brings me to Scooter. Last time I tried to put Scooter on at a house party I was told in no uncertain terms that it was not cool. ‘But what about how they changed the face of dance music in the 90s?’ I asked. Receiving no reply, I pushed harder ‘What about how Scooter put techno music on the mainstream map?’ ‘Who are you and who invited you to this party?’ was the response. At this point I
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realised the jig was up, so I raided some beers from the fridge and made good my escape, but not before vowing to improve Scooter’s image amongst England’s young folk. So here goes: Overcoming the potentially debilitating problems of having a lead singer with a face only a German mother could love and lyrics that appear to have been written by a Bavarian baby using an internet translator, Scooter have defied the odds to achieve worldwide success. Their tale of world domination began in ‘94 when techno was the past-time of only a few male social outcasts in ankle-length leather jackets. Taking the cheesy euphoric Eurodance scene head on, they have become the undeniable kings of hard-dance, remixing and shouting their way to 20 Top Ten hits. What Scooter has done perhaps most effectively is stay fresh. They managed to move chameleon-like through the endless sub-genres of dance music, from happy-hardcore, to techno to jumpstyle to an unexpected remix with Status Quo [what?]. We can only guess how Scooter will delight us next. I recommend that you peroxide your hair, put on a t-shirt with an LCD light display and listen to their entire back catalogue in one sitting. Then and only then can you tell me Scooter are not cool. TD