The Portland Mercury, October 4, 2012 (Vol. 13, No. 20)
Portland's Most Awesome Weekly Newspaper. Covering Portland news, politics, music, film, and arts; plus movie times, club calendars, restaurant listings, forums and blogs.
hy W : ? er ur Guy ic o his ff shFire t O n Fra e W .7 't Ro Can P FREE EVERY THURSDAY / VOL � 13 NO � 20 / OCTOBER 4 - OCTOBER 10, 2012 / BLACK HOUSE WILL ROCK, BLIND BOYS DON'T LIE OVER STIMULATED FASHION + GRAPHICS + ARCHITECTURE + INTERIORS + ART + RETAIL + EVERYTHING! THE PORTLAND DESIGN ISSUE for A fuLL scHEduLE vIsIT WWW.mIKETHrAsHErprEsEnTs.com foLLoW us onLInE AT: fAcEBooK.com/mIKETHrAsHErprEsEnTs TWITTEr.com/mIKETHrAsHErpdX � WWW.myspAcE.com/mIKETHrAsHErprEsEnTs 21 AND OvER SHOW! H A W T H O R N E T H E A T E R KINGDOM UNDER FIRE 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id FRi OcT 5 bLOODOATH HELL'S pARiSH & SAbATEUR gLADiUS 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SAT OcT 6 SAT THIs THIs LiDLESS EyE THE SUppRESSiON & RiTUAL HEALiNg AMERicAN ROULETTE LUDOvicO TEcHNiqUE EvERyTHiNg gOES cOLD & THE WiTcH WAS RigHT TUES TUES OcT 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr THIs FRi 9 gRAvE & ON ENEMy SOiL 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id THU OcT 11 Con Bro Chill 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SAT OcT 13 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id FRi OcT 19 & NiNJA TURTLE NiNJA TigER MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK DJ SOSA & THE REMiNDERS SAT OcT 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id R O S E L A N D T H E A T E R & ScARS ON bROADWAy 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id FRi OcT 12 HOMEbOy SANDMAN Skip THE FOREpLAy UpON THiS DAWNiNg & pALiSADES A cELEBrATIon of THE LIfE And musIc of ronnIE JAmEs dIo fEATurInG HIs orIGInAL BAnd And rIppEr oWEns FOR ALL THOSE SLEEpiNg 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SUN OcT 21 MON OcT 20 JUkEbOx THE gHOST & NOW NOW 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 15 THU OcT vAMpiRES EvERyWHERE! gLAMOUR OF THE kiLL & ALL HUMAN iN FEAR AND FAiTH 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 25 FRi OcT 8:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id & MRS. SkANNOTTO TUE OcT 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 23 WED OcT 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 24 cHESTER ENDERSby & gWAzDA WiTcHbURN & ALAN RESNick HEigHT WiTH FRiENDS 26 SAT OcT 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 27 & MiLLiONyOUNg 21 AND OvER SHOW! HOpSiN Dizzy WRigHT SWizzz JARREN bENTON DJ HOppA TRAgEDy & kiNgS OF ExiLE WED OcT 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 31 & HOLy gRAiL & ObERHOFER 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr SAT OcT 6:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 27 SUN OcT 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 28 SAT NOv 3 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id FRi NOv 9 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id TUE NOv 6 & LEE cOREy OSWALD 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id MON NOv 5 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id FRi NOv 9 AMiTy AFFLicTiON & gLASS cLOUD LikE MOTHS TO FLAMES 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SAT NOv 10 & LORD MANTiS WEApON 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SUN NOv 11 cANcER bATS & LEgAcy OF DiSORDER 8 nw SIXTH Avenue 503-224-TIXX DEviLDRivER iNSOMNiUM SySTEM DiviDE & REFicUL ATTiTUDE ADJUSTMENT & WEHRMAcHT prEsEnTs ALESTORM MON NOv ExHUMED 6:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 12 on sALE 10:00Am 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id TUE NOv 13 HOSTAgE cALM & LiONizE FRi S T A R T H E A T E R A S H S T S A L O O N SAT OcT 13 nw SIXTH Avenue 8:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 20 & cRypTS 855-CAS-TIXX X2 1 5 0 7 S e 3 9 T H A v e n u e 855-CAS-TIXX X2 & EvE TO ADAM FRi NOv 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id iN THiS MOMENT WED NOv 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 28 855-CAS-TIXX X2 iNqUiSiTiON & ANONyMiA FRi OcT 6:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 23 SHADOWS FALL & AcARO 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SAT DEc 1 26 13 nw SIXTH Avenue 855-CAS-TIXX X2 cOMiNg SOON: AWoLnATIon (soLd ouT!) � d.r.I. � THE GoddAmn GALLoWs � mEdIcInE for THE pEopLE � THE BAsTArd suns � crusHEd ouT � THE BIrTHdAy mAssAcrE LIndsEy sTIrLInG (soLd ouT!) � I fIGHT drAGons � pIErcE THE vEIL � WoE, Is mE � dETHKLoK � JoE BrooKs � GALLoWs � BLuE scHoLArs � THE sWord AnTIBALAs � dAncE GAvIn dAncE � sABATon � doro www.MIKEthrashErprEsEnts.coM for complete details and info on how to get your tickets early go to 2 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 email@example.com LETTERS MAY BE EDITED FOR SPACE NOTES THIS WEEK'S COVER Synchrodogs synchrodogs.com 10/4 thur DIRTY THREE Scout Niblett TONIGHT! DOOM, GLOOM, HOPE, AND DOPE RE: "Death Warmed Over" [Feature, Sept 27], a decade ago. And yes, it was great, but overviewing updated research on the effects of can we please, for the intellectual sanctity of womanhood, move on from apotheosizglobal warming in Oregon and beyond. ing this young-adult genre? Are there any I'm not going to dispute global warm- women in this town who read real literature ing. I'm not even going to dispute that it's written for adults? posted by Katie not helped by our CO2 emissions. I will dispute its consequences. I'll start by remindMO` WHEELS, MO` MONEY ing everyone that we're in the middle of the RE: "Bike Business" [News, Sept 27], reice ages. It's getting warmer, yes, but nothgarding a study that shows cyclists and ing like it has been for most of the Earth's pedestrians spend more money over time at existence. We don't know what's coming, but bars, restaurants, and convenience stores it's better to look at it as an adjustment to than customers arriving by car. reality rather than to catastrophe. I'll bet we'll grow killer dope once this global warmWhen I didn't have a car, I didn't pay car ing gets going for real. Johan Mathiesen insurance, a car payment, parking costs, the occasional ticket, and general car mainteDoom and gloom pieces like this are im- nance and repairs. Also, I didn't have kids portant and appropriately terrifying. How- back then, so not only was I awash in cash, ever, I also fear so much negativity can but I also had time to spend it! Young people cause the "fuck it" reaction wherein folks go who live car-free are a huge stimulus to local business. The quicker the local business "guess we're fucked, so fuck it." posted by wescoat associations realize the value of young, carfree, child-free hipsters and roll out the red My only criticism is that you didn't ham- carpet for cyclists, the better off they'll be. posted by Steve G mer home more forcefully the consequences of human population size on all of this; any THE SICK AND ELDERLY thoughtful person can infer it easily, but MERC -- Perry Mason no longer airs at most people think they have a divine right noon. I was instead subjected to Rachael to breed anyway, and that their children and Ray on my sick day. Please send a journalist grandchildren will surely have better lives to KPTV and fi nd out who is responsible for than they did, by some magical process. this sacrilege posthaste. posted by JG Miller Doug Young WHERE HAVE ALL THE YEAH SURE, Mr. "Young," if that is your GROWN GIRLS GONE? RE: "The Perks of Being a Fan" [Film, real name, we'll look into it. Just kidSept 27], a favorable review of the film ding. What do we look like, the senior adaptation of YA novel The Perks of Be- citizen TV programming police? (Don't answer that.) What we will do is give ing a Wallflower. you two tickets to the Laurelhurst TheOkay, I haven't seen this movie yet, but I ater where you can watch something a read the book when I was a teenager over touch more contemporary. Mission TheaTer 1624 N.W. Glisan St. Portland 503-223-4527 THE CRYSTAL HOTEL & BALLROOM fri oct 5 all ages CRYSTAL BALLROOM AlAddin TheATer presenTs The LosT BroThers thur oct 4 all ages Glen Hansard Calobo Featuring members of The Decemberists Lewi Longmire Band wed oct 10 all ages 80s VIDEO DANCE ATTACK FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5 8 PM $5 21+OVER WITH VJ KITTYROX LOLA'S ROOM Magic Mouth � Bonnie MontgoMery sat oct 13 $6 � 9 p.m. � 21 & over � lola's room Festival oF Positivity Tango Alpha Tango � Speaker Minds Wil Kinky � Comedian Ian Karmel mon oct 22 all ages sTG presenTs presenTs MarchFourth Marching Band Storm Large with Phame sun oct 14 21 & over Benefit Concert tue oct 30 all ages happy hour w/ vagabond tramp-ringlers 10/7 alanis morissette 10/8 youngblood hawke 10/11 macklemore 10/16 joshua radin & a Fine Frenzy 10/18 switchFoot 10/21 two door cinema club 10/23 wolFgang gartner 10/26 80s vda halloween party 10/28 all-american rejects 11/1 orquesta aragon 11/2 menomena 11/4 cat power 11/9 the devil makes 3 11/11 brandi carlile 11/18 ben gibbard 11/21 walk the moon 11/23 typhoon 12/2 d2r: the lumineers 12/3 d2r: passion pit 12/4 d2r: Fun. 12/5 d2r: oF monsters & men 12/6 d2r: joy Formidable 12/10 d2r: the shins 12/27 & 28 beats antique 12/29-31 railroad earth 10/6 danceonair.com portlandmercury.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Wm. Steven Humphrey MANAGING EDITOR Marjorie Skinner NEWS Denis C. Theriault, Sarah Mirk 115 SW Ash St., Suite 600 Portland, OR 97204 � 503-294-0840 � firstname.lastname@example.org AL'S DEn HOTEL at CRYSTAL FREE LIVE MUSIC nIghtLy � 7 PM INTERNS Lex Chase, Kathleen Marie-Barnett DIRECTOR OF CIRCULATION Jay Williams SALES DIRECTOR Rob Thompson SALES COORDINATOR Autumn Webring DIGITAL SALES MANAGER James Deeley ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Sarah Elliott, Katie Peifer, Marissa Sullivan ALTPERKS OPERATIONS MANAGER Michelle David OFFICE MANAGER Noah Dunham GENERAL MANAGER Katie Lake PUBLISHER Rob Crocker woody Pines CASCADE TICKETS 10/4-6 bright archer 10/7-13 SENIOR EDITOR Erik Henriksen MUSIC Ned Lannamann ARTS/WEB EDITOR Alison Hallett FOOD Chris Onstad COPY CHIEF Courtney Ferguson CALENDAR Bobby Roberts PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Davis SENIOR DESIGNER Nick Olmstead AD DESIGNER Nami Bigos ART DIRECTOR Justin "Scrappers" Morrison Ballroom: 1332 W. Burnside � (503) 225-0047 � Hotel: 303 S.W. 12th Ave � (503) 972-2670 mcmenamins.com cascadetickets.com 1-855-CAS-TIXX outlets: crystal ballroom box oFFice, bagdad theater, edgeField, east 19th st. caF� (eugene) October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 3 WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 5 NOW onE CEnTEr CoUrT � porTLAnd, or � 6:30pm doors � FULL BAr WITh propEr Id TICkETs ArE on sALE AT ThE rosE QUArTEr Box oFFICE, onLInE AT rosEQUArTEr.Com, AT pArTICIpATInG sAFEWAY/TICkETsWEsT LoCATIons, And BY phonE AT 877.789.rosE(7673) on sALE For A FULL sChEdULE vIsIT WWW.mIkEThrAshErprEsEnTs.Com FoLLoW Us onLInE AT: FACEBook.Com/mIkEThrAshErprEsEnTs TWITTEr.Com/mIkEThrAshErpdx � WWW.mYspACE.Com/mIkEThrAshErprEsEnTs W O N D E R B Thu A OCT L L R I SEE O O STARS M LETLIvE 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 11 & gIRL IN A COMA CuRSIvE 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id fRI NOv 16 8:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id fRI DEC 7 D A N T E S TOuChE AMORE BALANCE AND COMpOSuRE & O'BROThER 128 ne russeLL st C R Y S T A L B A L L R O O M switchfoot & pApER ROuTE 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id & MATT TOkA 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id fRI OCT 12 877.4.FLY.tiX 1 s W 3 r d A v e n u e SAT OCT 8:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 13 DIARRhEA pLANET & MOLDY CASTLE 855-CAs-tiXX X2 TELL ALL YoUr FrIEnds 10Th AnnIvErsArY ToUr BAYSIDE & MAN OvERBOARD fRI OCT & ST. LuCIA 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id fRIENDS SuN OCT Thu OCT 18 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 19 21 & pARAChuTE SuN OCT 1332 W Burnside st 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 28 CAT POWER 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SuN NOv 4 & JONNY fRITz CORNDAWg 8:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id fRI NOv 9 855-CAs-tiXX X2 4 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 ONE DAY AT A TIME KRISTIAN DONALDSON THE WEEK IN REVIEW by Ann Romano here's how: Unrepentant creep Chris Brown and Nicole Scherzinger--former Pussycat Doll and "#3 Most Despicably Grotesque Person in the World (following Kim K and Gwyneth Paltrow)"--were seen smooching in a LA nightclub. "They were dancing close for a while and being all touchy-feely and finally Chris leaned into her," a gagging witness told X17online. "She put her head on his shoulder and they started kissing!" Nicole's publicist obviously denies the charge--because (duh) where are the bruises to prove it? In celebrity news that will make your skin crawl off your body and down the street to the nearest bar, pop starlet Rihanna tweeted her love and prayers to the former boyfriend who beat her senseless and threatened to murder her-- umm, that would be Chris Brown. The R&B singer is still on probation for the attack, and was due at a probationary hearing today when RiRi posted the following Twatter: "Praying for you baby, my best wishes are with you today! Remember that whatever God does in our lives, it is WELL DONE!!! #1Love" Okay... that's really #1 IDIOT gross. And kind ofxgives God a bad name, right? "You are totally correct, Ann," God responded from his current location on sabbatical in the French Riviera. "First, Chris Brown is a creepy douchebag, and Rihanna is apparently insane. Second, I haven't dabbled in the lives of humans since you were created, and claiming that I am doing ANYTHING... whether it's `well' or not... is just humanity's way of not accepting responsibility for their actions. Wait... in fact, I don't want anyone to know I exist. Forget I said that and leave me alone! I'm on sabbatical!" MEANWHILE... In news that we've reported at least 1,000 times before, Lindsay Lohan was rushed to the emergency room last night for either a "bad lung infection," "walking pneumonia," or an "asthma attack" depending on which gossip site you prefer. She was reportedly given some antibiotics and sent home so she could continue her healthy lifestyle of staying out all night, putting herself in intensely criminal situations, and smoking 27 cartons of Kools a week. (We don't understand! Why do these bad things keep happening to her??) MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 PORTLAND MERCURY ADOPT-AN-UNCLE! every week we'll be spotlighting an uncle who is up for adoption. hile uncles are a beloved staple in any family, all too often they are abanW doned or forgotten for various reasons. The Portland Mercury is committed to finding safe, loving homes for neglected uncles, which is why Meet Uncle Jerry. This 37-year-old uncle still has lots of energy, and loves engaging in all sorts of "uncle" activity, such as: � Spotting imaginary mustard on your shirt, and tweaking your chin. � Claiming that a 20-foot angry grizzly bear is living inside your closet. � Leering inappropriately at your underage friends. � Freely offering cigarettes and wine coolers. � Sleeping on the couch. � Hitting you up for "five bucks... just until my next pony comes in." � Wrestling! And popping dislocated shoulders back into place. � Showing up at dinnertime. � Smelling like the booze division of a cigarette factory. � Possessing an intricate knowledge of arcane sports trivia, the best places to buy "grass," whether or not breast enhancement is necessary, and how to avoid pregnancy and/or STDs (may need verification). Uncle Jerry also enjoys riding in cars. He's up to date on vaccinations, and is more or less house trained. Yet more terrible news! According to multiple sources, heart-smashing cheater Kristen Stewart may be getting back together with dreamy dumb-butt Robert Pattinson--and perhaps even shacking up? Us magazine quotes a source who claims that they "are living together and have reconciled," while Italian tabloid Grazia says it's only for a trial period. "[Robert] has agreed to give it a month to see if they can make it work," a snoopy spy says. "If they can't, he says he'll walk away." Hear that, Kristen? ONE MONTH. See if you can keep your mouth off other people's genitals until then. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 Ohboyohboyohboyohboy, we love "conspiracy theories" and this is the best one we've heard since 9/11 was an "inside job" perpetrated by our government who also wants to poison us with fluoride. As we gleefully reported last week, while most celebs only have one sex tape, Kanye West has TWO--one of which involves a Kim Kardashian look-alike. OR IS IT?!? According to the Examiner, Kanye's sex pal wasn't a look-alike but the actual Kim Kardashian--and the pair has paid off (to the tune of six figures) look-alike aspiring model Mony Monn to claim she was the one in the video. Why? Because at the* time PORNSTAR? the sex tape was made, Kim was still oh-so-happily betrothed to lumbering drool-bucket Kris Humphries. Here are three good reasons why this glorious theory cannot be true: (1) It's too good to be true. (2) Neither Kanye nor Kim is smart enough to pull this off. And (3) if it were true, Kim's mom Kris Jenner would've already marketed and sold 50 million copies worldwide. Autographed. MEANWHILE... if you're wondering how this day could possibly get any more disgusting, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 In potentially fantastic news... is Tom Cruise fi nally leaving the Church of Scientology? The religious organization that inspired Tom to hop around on Oprah's couch like a fool may be losing their patron saint, according to Star magazine. "[Tom's] fi nally seeing that being such an advocate for Scientology hasn't served him as well as he hoped ," says an insider. "He's gone ALL-TIME LOW through three divorces, and his public perception has sunk to an all-time low." Oh-ho-ho! We wonder what Emperor Klaktu, the ruling warlord of Rigel VII and Scientology spokesalien has to say about... "NO TIME TO TALK, ANN!" Klaktu squealed frantically over intergalactic holotube. "We must immediately lure Tom back into the fold! Quick! What's the number for 1-800-Flowers?" THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 Give Uncle Jerry a loving home! Contact Portland Mercury Adopt-an-Uncle at justsayuncle.portlandmercury.com. most of him. A relative found Garner's dentures and pieces of his body in the hog enclosure." Moving on. FOURTH... Beyonc� hired designer Ruthie Davis to create a "custommade pair of bedazzled sneakers for Beyonc� and Jay-Z's daughter, Blue Ivy." The Daily Mail points out that they're adorned with $800 worth of amethyst Swarovski crystals. Also? Blue Ivy is eight months old, and cannot walk. City hotel room, where Lohan and a man she met at a Chelsea nightclub "got into an argument... after Lindsay noticed the man had taken photos of her on his phone." "Our sources say Lindsay told police she confronted the man about the pics and he threw her on the bed, causing scratches on her hands," TMZ continues. "We're told Lindsay ran out of the room, but returned later. When she did, Lohan claims the man attacked her, choked her, threw her to the ground, and climbed on top of her." Lohan's entourage reportedly pulled him off, Lindsay pulled the fi re alarm, and the man-- Christian LaBella , a 25-year-old employee of Illinois Congressman John Shimkus, and whose Facebook page features photos of him with Kim Kardashian--was arrested and then released. "He isn't going to get away with this," Lohan told the New York Post. "I'm in shock and it was a really scary situation." LaBella, who was released from police custody shortly after being arrested, is also "in shock about how the media has twisted this story," according to his uncle, Peter Jessop. Maybe LiLo's causing another ruckus, maybe LaBella's a creep, or maybe Uncle Pete doesn't know what he's talking about--WHO KNOWS. It's the Lohan Zone! It's like The Twilight Zone, but trashier. MEANWHILE... ET Online has, for some reason, asked Lindsay's mom, Dina Lohan, for advice for the parents of another wayward starlet, Amanda Bynes. "Just be around," Dina wisely pontificated. "It's hard when your daughter's not, you know, over 18 [Note: Amanda, like Lindsay, is 26], and you want to let them go... and they want to, you know, feel like they're in control of themselves. So it's a very strategic place for a parent to be, but she'll be okay." Hear that, Mr. and Mrs. Bynes? Lindsay Lohan's mom wants you to know your daughter will be okay! Time to panic. Okay, dears, let's start this weekend off right, shall we, with some hilarious gossipy tidbit--oh, wait. No, we can't do that. First we have to get through some horrible things. And then we can enjoy the weekend! Okay. Deep breaths. FIRST... This weekend, the number of American deaths in the Afghanistan War hit 2,000. (Friendly reminder! We're still totes at war in Afghanistan.) SECOND... Eager to satisfy their viewers' lurid demands, Fox News continues their tradition of broadcasting live high-speed car chases... a decision that backfi red today in the desert outside of Phoenix, when a man being chased by police and a Fox News helicopter stopped his car. " He then put a handgun to his head and fi red," according to the BBC. "We're all very sorry," TV anchor Shepard Smith said after Fox broadcast the footage. "That didn't belong on TV." Ya think? THIRD... Take it away, USA Today! "Oregon authorities know only two things for sure about the death of 70-year-old farmer Terry Vance Garner: He died Wednesday and his hogs ate FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28 "At the insistence of his mentor, Usher, Justin Bieber agreed to go vegan," reports Celebitchy--but it didn't go well. " His mood took a major dive--he was such a brat," a source tells Star. Even Das Bieb's girlfriend, Selena Gomez, got fed up. " She ha s encou r a ged t he he a lt h kick, but told him to drop it," the source continues. "She said that being vegan turned Justin into BARF a jerk." Ugh. Vegans.... IN TOTALLY UNRELATED NEWS... Tonight in Glendale, Arizona, Justin Bieber kicked off his "Believe" tour, performing to a packed stadium of screeching tweens and keeping in perfect time with his troupe of backup dancers! He then turned his back to the crowd, bent over, put his hands on his knees, and vomited all over the stage. Good day. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 Lindsay Lohan has informed police she was assaulted "by a man she had just met," according to TMZ. It went down in Lohan's New York SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30 PORTLANDMERCURY .COM THIS WEEK ON WIN RODRIGUEZ TIX HALF PRICE TIX TO THE OREGON HUMP! DEADLINE EXTENDED! & CDS! END HITS THURSDAY BALLET! MERCPERKS.COM YAY! PORTLANDMERCURY.COM/HUMP Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 5 doubletee.com / roselandpdx.com KendricK Lamar sATURDAY niTe! gReAT RsVD seATs jUsT ReLeAseD! Sat october 6th � roSeland � 8pm 21+ Purchase tickets at 1-800-745-3000 or at ticketmaster.com AB-SOUL � JAY ROCK STALLEY � FLY UNION Sat oct 20th � roSeland � 9pm � all ageS Double Tee, Suave & Dead Nation Presents Sat oct 20th � roSeland � 9pm � all ageS RescHeDULeD DATe! HalloweeN ParTy! douBle Tee and soul'd ouT PresenT Trevor hall alcyon Massive Fri oct 26th � wonder ballroom � 8pm � 21+ John Brown's Body AvAilABle NoW Oct 30th � rOseland � 8pm � all ages Disco Donne & november 19th � roSeland � 8pm � all ageS grouplovemusic.com plays ial very spec guests nOV 14th � rOseland � 8pm � all ages ON SALE NOW! KINK.fm's Official Halloween Party! T S U R TRO LONG DE BERT Ty Curtis Band nov 1 � roSeland � 8pm � all ageS 6 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 nov 8th � roSeland � 8pm � all ageS oct 31St � dante'S 9pm � 21+ advance ticketS through all ticketSWeSt locationS, SafeWay, muSic millennium. to charge by phone pleaSe call 503.224.8499 NEWS The Fix Isn't In DID PORTLAND POLICE commanders and Mayor Sam Adams' office conspire to fire the cop who shot Aaron Campbell in the back nearly three years ago? And then did they cook up an important training review and lie under oath in front of an arbitrator to make the political fix stick? Not quite, according to a new city report on the case released Monday, October 1--offering up findings that, on their face, appear to puncture a conspiracy theory flogged hard by the Portland Police Association (PPA) after Adams stood firm this spring and refused a labor arbitrator's order to put Officer Ron Frashour back in uniform. And the timing of the report, by the city's independently elected auditor, is serendipitous. It dropped just days before an expected city council vote this Thursday, October 4, that will take Adams' fight over Frashour's fate to the Oregon Court of Appeals. Adams--increasingly the target of nasty jabs by PPA President Daryl Turner-- had asked his colleagues to back him after the Oregon Employment Relations Board (ERB) last month also ordered him to reinstate Frashour. "Based on the auditor's findings, I respectfully ask the Portland Police Association to cease their attacks on the character and integrity of members of the Portland Police Bureau, and to start focusing on the facts of this case," Adams said in a statement. The mayor has some reason to crow. City Auditor LaVonne Griffin-Valade found no evidence that any cop lied during the investigation or in front of an arbitrator-- which would be a cardinal violation of the bureau's truthfulness policy. She also found "no documentary evidence" that Chief Mike Reese's office or the mayor's office unduly influenced the review of Frashour's training, or that Adams traded Reese his promotion in May 2010 for a promise to fire Frashour. Turner, the PPA boss, had made all three accusations in a public screed posted to the union's newsletter in June, quoting in detail from confidential arbitration transcripts that later were published by media outlets. It was his complaints that led Adams to call for the auditor's investigation. Moreover, a new--and inflammatory-- allegation was tucked inside some 100 additional pages of testimony affixed to the auditor's report. One of Reese's top aides, Assistant Chief Larry O'Dea, told investigators it was the police union, not the chief 's office, who tried to influence cops in the case. O'Dea said "shifty" statements from "brother" cops--cops who told the arbitrator they didn't think Frashour did anything wrong, he alleges, after saying the opposite during a review board hearing--left him "feeling pretty uncomfortable." Reese fired Frashour because he shot at Campbell, who was running from officers after being hit with a beanbag gun, without considering whether Campbell was unarmed. Some bureau trainers later defied Reese, testifying Frashour was do- Report Debunks Police Union Conspiracy Theory in Frashour Firing by Denis C. Theriault ing what he was taught to do. "Knowing that [PPA President] Daryl Turner has talked to at least one of them directly... what kind of pressure is he creating... is that creating on this," O'Dea told investigators. "I'll tell you it just felt like I was hearing one orchestrated story in there and not individual opinions." Turner did not return a message seeking comment on O'Dea's insinuation. But he did issue a statement answering Adams' admonition. recent years. That's partly because the reviews themselves have become more stringent, actively questioning a cop's decisionmaking, for instance. Reese says he's drafting new procedures for the reviews, but it's not clear whether they'll provide that clarity. He testified that while it would be wrong for a bureau commander to order wholesale rewrites in a training review, it would still be okay for a commander to weigh in on whether a review is thorough or logical. That's a fairly big loophole. Reese also was ambivalent about another recommendation, aimed at minimizing the appearance of collusion. Amid talk of a cookout at which cops in the Campbell case discussed the shooting, and other social outings, the chief suggested the bureau extend a blackout on individual cops' private discussions until after any internal investigations are finished. "We're in a Catch-22 a little bit," Reese testified. "Because the officers have a right and need to be together and talk about these incidents if they're going to heal, and I think these traumatic incidents are lifechanging for the officers." The report also touches on the fundamental awkwardness of having training instructors--who serve alongside the same officers they're reviewing--weigh in on misconduct cases. Attorney Tom Steenson, who helped Campbell's family extract $1.2 million in damages from the city, has repeatedly harped on that disconnect. Reese acknowledged the system is "set up to be very difficult" to fire cops, but he stumbled over himself on whether "there's room for improvement" or if the system is "very, very good." "So I don't--I don't know what the ultimate answer is," Reese testified. Whatever happens, the report might wind up another footnote in this saga if Adams' court challenge falls short--a possibility even the city commissioners supporting him acknowledge--and Frashour returns to work. That may happen even while the courts are hearing Adams' appeal, the Mercury has learned. The city has 30 days from the date of ERB's order, September 21, to reinstate Frashour, and the board gets to decide whether Portland can put that off. In a 2008 ruling on a similar request from Josephine County, ERB split the difference--letting the county delay rehiring workers, but forcing it to fork over back pay in the meantime. City Attorney Jim Van Dyke acknowledged an early reinstatement is "legally possible"--a controversial outcome in the face of so much community outrage and political wrangling--but he wouldn't speculate on the odds. "We're still reviewing that." Attention, wonks! For a more detailed analysis of the auditor's report, check out portlandmercury.com/news Hall Monitor Tell Me Why This Matters by Denis C. Theriault NEWS ALEX ZIELINSKI "I respectfully ask the Portland Police Association to cease their attacks on the character and integrity of members of the Portland Police Bureau." -Mayor Sam Adams "The fact is, the PPA has always focused on the facts of Officer Frashour's use of deadly force," reads the statement. "In contrast, the city--and Mayor Adams-- have focused on politics, which deprived the community of facts that would allow them to understand why Officer Frashour justifiably used deadly force." Meanwhile, PPA officials made their feelings about the investigation very clear when sitting down for testimony. Union lawyer Anil Karia, representing Paul Meyer, the bureau's lead instructor on less-lethal weapons and sniper rifles, accused the city of punishing cops who contradicted the chief during Frashour's arbitration hearing. "This particular investigation is retaliatory," he said. But it wasn't all great news for Adams and Reese. Griffin-Valade knocked the bureau for waiting years to craft clear policies on how training reviews are shaped--arguing that lack of clarity did more than anything to give Turner an opening for his complaints. That's important, because training reviews--a measure of how and whether a cop followed bureau lessons on things like de-escalation and use of force--have increasingly influenced discipline decisions in BY NOW, you've probably heard all about the latest journalistic stink bomb dropped on mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith: Smith, at a college party in 1993, somehow caused unspecified injuries while fending off an apprently drunken woman who attacked him in a case of mistaken identity after a prank gone awry. Eugene cops cited him for misdemeanor assault, and Smith paid the woman's modest medical bills and struck a deal to make the charge go away. Which it did for a very long time. Until, that is, Willamette Week got wind of it and did what the Oregonian only tried (and failed) to do: Make it public. It had all the trappings of a huge story. As broad-brush headlines go, it's hard to imagine anything more damning taking root in the collective minds of lackadaisical voters than "Smith Faced Assault Charge Against Woman." And Smith, bless his penchant for taking lumps in public, called every reporter in town to a press conference where, citing privacy concerns, he declined to actually get specific about what happened in the wee hours of the "worst night" of his life nearly 20 years ago. (Although, the next day, his campaign did manage to track down and send out a court document that Smith initially speculated was lost in a long-ago fire.) Okay. Fine. But all the same, and at risk of being accused of serving as an apologist, what the hell are we supposed to make of this? Sure, the idea that Smith settled instead of fighting in court to clear his name--"You never know what happens when you go to a jury," he explained--doesn't sit well with me. But you can also buy the idea that a 20-year-old caught in an uninvited scuffle would strike a deal to make it go away. It's also telling that witnesses, and not just the friend Smith brought to his presser, say Smith didn't do anything wrong. And would we care as much if Smith had hurt a burly football player instead? Someone's done a very effective job of rummaging through Smith's personal baggage--of which, to be sure, there's an ample amount. Maybe it's the developers who want one of their own, Charlie Hales, to run city hall. Maybe it's the unseen hands of Hales' consultants, Liz Kaufman and Mark Wiener, feeding mud-pies to friendly reporters--a theory raised almost immediately this week by blogger Jack Bogdanski. Smith, for his part, demurred when given a chance to name names: "There are powerful interests wanting to take me down. What I don't know about is any involvement of any campaign." Because there's an even bigger question here: Should this incident--salacious, but so random--actually make a difference for anyone trying to decide which candidate will be best on policy issues? Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 7 CALL 877�78�JOFFE OR VISIT WWW.JOFFE.COM Act by Oct 31 FREE LASIK EYE EXAM $ 495 LASIK The Jo e Di erence Excellent LASIK Care & A ordability, because you deserve both. B P EST RIC E UA R ANT See for yourself why Jo e is the Smart Choice for LASIK 20/20 Dr. Howard Straub Medical Director Custom technology to treat nearsightedness, farsightedness,and astigmatism. Personalized follow-up care and free enhancements, because we care. You could get life changing results without spending your life savings. Flexible financing plans and Best Price Guarantee to make LASIK more a ordable than ever. CALL 877�78�JOFFE OR VISIT WWW.JOFFE.COM to schedule your Free LASIK Eye Exam O er ends Oct 31st, 2012. Some restrictions apply. See center for details. Follow us online! OVER 20,000 PROCEDURES PERSONALLY PERFORMED Jo e Portland | 16037 SW Upper Boones Ferry Rd. Tigard, OR 97224 8 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 EE G Swan Drive Truck Company Employees Want to Bike Safely to Work on Swan Island--Will the City Leave Them in the Lurch? by Sarah Mirk NEWS Fall Savings into G5 16.0 MEGA PIXELS END OF THE ROAD Daimler employees at the dead-end of Swan Island's trail. SARAH MIRK PORTLAND SEEMS to forget about Swan Island. So here's a primer on the place: The industrial spit of land isolated from the city by the steep Willamette Bluffs is an economic powerhouse. The strip is home to some of the city's only large employers that don't require a commute to the 'burbs, with 211 businesses employing nearly 10,000 people (about 2.6 percent of the city's total workforce). Many of those employees, especially at freight company Daimler Trucks, would like to bike to work. And about 200 hardcore commuters already do, despite the ride to Swan Island being a harrowing excursion on large, fast, busy roads like North Going. Making Swan Island more bike friendly for workers is a golden opportunity for the city to meet its goal of tripling bike trips by 2030. But despite big plans for the place, the city might be short-changing that dream before it really even starts. Portland's parks bureau has long planned a second Springwater Corridorlike biking and walking trail--the fabled North Portland Greenway--that would stretch from downtown all the way up to Kelley Point Park. It would link Swan Island and Willamette River land throughout North Portland to the rest of the city. But in the most recent plans for the North Portland Greenway, the city sidelined the flattest, most direct, off-street route from Swan Island to downtown for a path that runs up steep and busy North Greeley and North Interstate. While the parks bureau wants what it calls a "buildable" plan, the route swap has both Swan Island workers and the Friends of the North Portland Greenway Trail citizen advocacy group worried the city won't fight for a path that workers and families will actually want to use. "It's not a Willamette neighborhood greenway, it's a trail along a truck route," says Friends of the North Portland Greenway Trail chair Francie Royce. "An easy route for them politically is a miserable route for bikers and walkers." The route the workers and advocates want the city to prioritize is tantalizing: It's already paved. It's flat. And it runs directly from Swan Island to the Broadway Bridge. It cuts in half the bike-commute time to get downtown. But, unfortunately, it's illegal to use. Union Pacific owns the road, which is called the Ash Grove Cement Road. While the Cement Road connects to the street right next to Daimler--near where the island's bike path dead ends--its entrance has large signs warning, "No Trespassing." "Who commutes on the Cement Road?" Lenny Anderson, director of the Swan Island Transportation Management Association, asked at a surprisingly packed lunch meeting of Daimler bike commuters last week. About a quarter of the 60 people in the standing-room-only meeting raised their hands. "Who would like to use it?" he asked, and all hands went up. "I moved to Portland in part because I like biking," says Daimler engineer John Furtado. "I found this job in the city. Little did I know it's one of the worst places to bike. It's unacceptable that one of the biggest employment centers in the city has such sub-par bike access." The cyclists want the city and local employers to pressure Union Pacific to sell the road. "What we have here is a stalemate," says Anderson. "This isn't going to be softball." There's a joke among planners about dealing with the railroads: On the spectrum of tough negotiations, first there's neighbors, then there's other local governments, the state government, and then the feds. Then God. And then the railroads. "They're not interested in giving things away," sums up longtime Portland transportation activist and rail enthusiast Jim Howell. "But I don't think it's impossible. My guess is, [the city's] chances aren't very good. Unless the city has something Union Pacific might want." Several of the city's most heavily used transit corridors were once railroad land that the city skillfully negotiated to buy or use. The MAX light-rail lines along Interstate 84 run through chunks of former railroad land, notes Howell, as does the Springwater Corridor and the trail across the Steel Bridge. For its part, Union Pacific says it's entirely uninterested in selling off the road. Railroad maintenance trucks drive the route daily to get around the Albina yards. It's crossed in several places by active rail lines. And Union Pacific might want it for future expansion, emails railroad rep Brock Nelson. Parks officials say the path up North Greeley would be built in addition to the railroad path, which will remain on the map as a trail and be acquired. Someday. That amounts to a false hope, says Royce. Once money is spent to build the trail along steep and busy Greeley, there will be less political will and fewer financial resources to negotiate for the railroad path. Says Royce, "Our opportunity is now." One of the newest compact system cameras from Panasonic, the Lumix Lu mix G5 mi mix G5 LUMIX G5 features a newly integrated BODY ONLY 16.05-megapixel Live MOS sensor and 99 $ redesigned Venus Engine to render clear, crisp images in both photo and ADD-ON LENS video recording. Featuring a compact, 12-35mm f/2.8 light-weight body with built-in flash, the 99 $ SAVE , LUMIX G5 boasts ultra-high mobility $200 while offering users a powerful camera performance which achieves spectacular image quality. 699 1099 LUMIX� G X VARIO 12-35mm / F2.8 ASPH Lens reg price is $1,299.99 less $200 instant savings when purchased with any G5, GF5, GX1 or GH2 camera. Presented by Panasonic SAVE THE DATE: Don't miss our Panasonic Day on Friday October 12, when the technical reps from Panasonic join us in-store. Get your technical questions answered and an opportunity to demo the latest Panasonic has to offer. BONUS HOUR for PORTLAND TIMBER SOCCER FANS! We love the Timbers as much as you do, so come meet Portland Timbers Player Eric Brunner Friday, Oct 12 from 5-6pm FZ200 12.1 MEGA PIXELS The LUMIX FZ200 is Panasonic's first digital compact camera to offer the incredible advantages of a full range F2.8 aperture across the entire zoom range ( [24X] 25mm-600mm, ng F2.8 - 35mm equivalent). The added light collecting ability the F2.8 provides to the FZ200 enables capturing moving subjects clearly with fast shutter speed, even from a distance. At the heart of this amazing lens is the high-quality of LEICA DC VARIO-ELMARIT optics. LUMIX� FZ200 camera reg price is $599.99 less $100 instant savings. Expires 10-13-12. $ SAVE 100 Lumix L i FZ200 $ 49999 The world-renowned LX series which has been long acclaimed by the photography enthusiasts for its high picture quality and creative SAVE y descriptiveness now comes equipped with a fully $50 re-designed lens, image sensor and the image Lumix LX7 processing engine for superior performance and 99 $ stunning image quality in the LUMIX LX7. ngl le Equipped with a newly developed 24mm ultra-wide angle LEICA lens with 3.8x optical zoom, the lens features F1.4 brightness at wide-end and F2.3 at tele-end. LX7 10 .1 MEGA PIXELS 449 LUMIX� LX7 camera reg price is $499.99 less $50 instant savings. Expires 10-13-12. www.ProPhotoSupply.com blog.prophotosupply.com 800-835-3314 HOURS Q Q MON 7:30-6:00 1112 NW 19th (at Marshall), Portland Q TUES-FRI 8:30-6:00 Q SAT 9:00-5:00 October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 9 LOG IN. NEIGHBOR UP. All the news and talk from your neighborhood. Finally in one place. Create a free account today at everyblock.com. Be a better neighbor. 10 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 Car-Free = Care-Free? CLOSED TO ALL TRAFFIC TAXI/LIMO ONLY W BURNSIDE NW 3RD NW COUCH INSANE MOUNTAINS INSPIRED FILMMAKING ASTOUNDING ATHLETES NEWS Out with the Traffic on NW 3rd, In with the Drunks! by Sarah Mirk PEDI-CAB ONLY TAXI/LIMO ROUTE NW EVERETT NW DAVIS TICKETS ON SALE OLD TOWN on a weekend night is a wild mess. As the hour grows late, the bars around NW 3rd and Couch get hopping, with popped-collared and high-heeled bargoers clogging the neighborhood's narrow sidewalks--often spilling into the streets. That's a problem, say Portland police, who have a special "entertainment district" detail. People crowding the sidewalks waiting to get into bars often get into fights, and groups that wander into the street have narrow misses with traffic. The fix? Get rid of the traffic. Police last week proposed a plan that would shut down NW 3rd, NW Couch, and NW Davis to all vehicle traffic--including bikes--on Friday and Saturday nights from 9 pm to 3 am. The city already shuts down NW Couch between NW 2nd and 3rd (right outside, ahem, Dirty Pie) during those hours. Two sections of the closed streets would allow access for taxicabs and pedicabs. There have been no serious car-pedestrian crashes in the bar-heavy stretch recently, but police note that in just six months they've responded to 533 calls within the few square blocks. The stretch includes bars popular with suburbanites and tourists, including Dirty, the Barrel Room, Dixie Tavern, and Tube. "We've got narrow sidewalks in that neighborhood to begin with, then you've got the newstands, the bike racks, trees, and queuing lines. A lot of the fights tend to start with people bumping into each other," says Mike Boyer, city crime prevention coordinator. "You take the cars out of the equation, you allow police to have a better interaction with the security staff there." Shutting down the street could keep down traffic crashes, but Boyer worries the plan could potentially attract more people to the bars, increasing noise issues for residents at the nearby Union Gospel Mission and the soon-to-be-opened Rich Block Apartments. Patrons would also need to park in lots outside the area, and walk to the bar district. There is no timeline for implementing the plan, or even assurances that it will actually happen as police and the city meet with neighbors and business owners. But, so far, response seems mostly positive. "Hell yeah! Totally support it!" says Thomas de Almeida, who's been pedicabbing with Portland Pedicabs for five years. "The street gets totally congested and there are dudes with muscle cars who will skid out and drive super fast down 3rd to try to impress people." NOW! PORTLAND BAGDAD THEATER & PUB SATURDAY, OCT. 20 5:00 & 9:00 PM SUNDAY, OCT. 21 6:00 PM ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL FRIDAY, OCT. 26 7:30 PM SALEM ELSINORE THEATRE SATURDAY, OCT. 27 7:30 PM TICKETING Tickets available at Mountain Shop. Also available at: BAGDAD THEATER: cascadetickets.com (855.CAS.TIXX) and the Bagdad Theater box office (503.249.7474) ARLENE SCHNITZER: TicketsWest.com (800.325.SEAT) and PCPA box office (pcpa.com, 503.946.7272) SALEM: TicketsWest.com (800.325.SEAT) and the Elsinore Theatre box office (503.375.3574) SAVE ON TICKETS Buy 10 or more tickets and get $2 off every full price ticket, FREE SHIPPING, & a download card for a The Portland Bureau of Transportation has selected local company Alta Bicycle Share as the finalist to run the $4.5 million, 74-station bike-sharing system that's slated to launch in the central city next spring. Alta has set up cheap Zipcar-esque bike sharing in numerous other cities, but ran into major trouble with its New York and Chattanooga projects, whose bike-share systems have been plagued by glitchy software. Those issues are thanks to a messy legal battle between Alta's partner-company on the high-tech bike-sharing stations and the subcontractor that programs the stations' software for processing credit cards and keeping track of bikes. Despite New York's rollout being held up for months, Portland will be hashing out a deal with Alta in the coming months. SARAH MIRK There was a police shooting this weekend-- but no one died. The fifth Portland Police Bureau-involved shooting in the city this year occurred out at SE 134th on the morning of Saturday, September 29. Two officers were trying to chase down the suspect of an In Other News CALL NOW: (800) 523-7117 by Mercury staff NEWS FREE WITH PURCHASE FREE LIFT TICKET TO MT. BACHELOR E $32 LU VA TICKET HOLDERS RECEIVE SAVINGS COUPON AT EVENT "attempted murder incident." The suspect sped off in a truck, then crashed, and was shot at by police. The cops have yet to report whether their bullets hit the man, but he did sustain "non-life-threatening" injuries, either from the bullets or the crash. STAFF One year ago, Occupy Portland first took to the streets for a massive protest. On the one-year anniversary of the local protest, Occupy will be holding a noon rally on Saturday, October 6, in Shemanski Park as well as a teach-in the next day at Portland Community College on North Killingsworth. Meanwhile, protesters arrested en masse at Occupy last year could finally get the jury trials they've been hoping for. The arrested occupiers were originally charged with misdemeanors like criminal trespass, but their crimes were reduced to mere traffic violations--minor infractions the group was scheduled to address in front of a judge last week. But after their lawyers saw a chance to potentially get the group in front of a jury instead, the trials were postponed until mid-October. NATHAN GILLES ER OV 5 2-FOR-1 LIFT TICKETS TO BIG WHITE, SILVER STAR, AND SUN PEAKS RESORTS $25 OFF A PURCHASE AT MOUNTAIN SHOP October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 11 12 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 STIMULATED New Events Spotlight Portland Design --Like, All of Portland Design by Marjorie Skinner Photography by Daniel Cronin OVER of OMFGCO Design Week Portland Oct. 9-13 designweekportland.com From left to right: Jeremy Pelly and Fritz Mesenbrink Fritz Mesenbrink Official Mfg. Co. (OMFGCO) is headed up by Fritz Mesenbrink and Jeremy Pelley, who founded it (with a third partner, Mathew Foster, who has since departed) after having worked at all the buzziest places in town, from Wieden + Kennedy to the Ace Hotel. Taking on everything from branding to signage and space design, OMFGCO has had a meteoric rise in prominence, and a client list that includes Nike and Gap, as well as Sizzle Pie and Beam & Anchor. MARJORIE SKINNER MERCURY: When did you realize it was time to start your own venture? FRITZ MESENBRINK: Olympic Provisions came to Jeremy [with an interest in hiring him as a freelancer], and we convinced them to hire us as a team. They knew me because I had worked on Clyde Common. We just decided it was so much more fun to work for ourselves. How do you define what OMFGCO does, exactly? You're not quite a design studio and not an ad agency or fabrication shop, and yet your work overlaps all these things. A lot of what we've done has been unusual, which we kind of set ourselves up for with a generic name. We did the signage for the [Olympic Provisions] "meat" sign because they didn't have a separate budget. Maybe not the best business decision, but a lot of it is aimed at gaining notoriety, and that sign has been in the New York Times more than once and on Portlandia. We've taken on a really diverse range of projects, and people will come to us and ask if we can do certain things, and we'll say, "Yeah, we can figure it out." Since we started, people have pretty much come to us. We're trying to decide if that's the way to go, or if we should decide what kind of work we want and then go after it. OMFGCO has become a pretty wellknown brand in itself. Do you make an effort to leave a distinctive "stamp" on the work you do for clients? Not necessarily. We're mostly just trying to solve our clients' problems. [Any similarity in style] probably came from working with similar businesses within a small industry. We've had people from LA approach us about opening "Portland-looking" restaurants, for instance. Are there any new areas you'd like to become more involved with? Recently we did this project for Lands' End Canvas. It was interesting because it was a lot of writing rather than design, and we enjoyed doing it because it was a lot of really hard thinking. I think we'd like to do more of that kind of work, where they came to us with this brand that was kind of a strange one. They wanted to make something for younger people, because Lands' End is kind of an older demographic, and that was all that really existed. They had us come in and figure out how to keep everything on the same brand page. A lot of it just came down to figuring out who the audience was. OR YEARS, early fall in the world of Portland design has meant Portland Fashion Week (PFW). The controversial, slickly produced series of runway shows in the dramatic warehouses and shipping yards of Swan Island have sometimes coincided with smatterings of other fashion events and parties, but this year it's different. The city's annual design-appreciation week has exploded in scope, and expanded well beyond the realms of apparel with a brand-new series of happenings that touch on virtually every corner of the industry. First of all, PFW as we know it is dead. Out of its ashes has risen FASHIONxt (meant to be spoken as "Fashion Next," although the spelling has inadvertently led to the nickname "Fashion X-T"), which marries PFW-style runway collections with product exhibitions of up-and-coming lifestyle technology. The idea is to recognize that items like phones and laptops that historically have been about function have become extensions of lifestyle and, thus, personal style. "Portland is a lifestyle city," explains Executive Producer Prasenjit Tito Chowdhury (full disclosure: Associate Producer Elizabeth Mollo is a Mercury contributor). "Our sense of style has gone way beyond apparel, shoes, and handbags. And companies are dying to create emotional connection. Left brain and right brain businesses have to come together." There's some precedent for this melding in the fashion world at large: See Diane von F�rstenberg's recent collaboration with Google--at New York Fashion Week, her models went down the runway wearing pairs of still in-development "augmented reality" Google Glasses. For FASHIONxt, former Project Runway contestant and Vancouver resident Seth Aaron has collaborated on a line with fellow Runway veteran Viktor Luna, inspired by Intel's new Personal Cloud technology (as strong armed as the corporate messaging is here, his track record indicates that if anyone can translate something this geeky into interesting visual spectacle, it's Seth Aaron). FASHIONxt attendees will be able to interact with locally developed inventions like the pop-hued Zooka iPad speakers and Boxx, a design-conscious, one-person scooter-type vehicle that was the only start-up invited to this year's Paris Auto Show. Dovetailing with FASHIONxt is Design Week Portland, a first-ever series of events aimed at an inclusive swath of design in Portland across industries--from product and visual design to furniture and interior design, to architecture, film, type, and, yes, fashion and retail. "Top-shelf creative programming exists every day in Portland and has for a long time," says Eric Hillerns, who along with Tsilli Pines and a host of other collaborators, got Design Week off the ground. "The problem is that so many of them are one-off events and only those close to those industries or practices or disciplines are aware of them. We were curious about whether disparate design disciplines could play well together. Have we been successful? To a degree, yes.... We have a long way to go to work together to illustrate the importance of design as an economic and cultural engine." The resulting efforts are an opportunity to walk through the doors of virtually every creative house in the city. Whether you're interested in more serious lectures and panels or just want to let your hair down, the coming week, beginning on Tuesday, October 9, offers unprecedented insight into the various industries and business models operating here, shedding light on why Portland has steadily grown to become a hub for design talent and, one hopes, helping to point the way forward. "This is not a forum for self-congratulation," cautions Hillerns. "We hope that people are inspired by what design means for Portland as a city, and what it means for them personally. Ideally, people who have never considered themselves `designers' come to realize that they are designing their lives every day; that there is a very practical outcome in approaching problems through design." With events overlapping (including a newly announced series produced by Portland shoe retailer Solestruck, No Sleep Til...), this week's schedule of events can be overwhelming (see our recommendations, pg. 13-21). And it's no coincidence that these developments are erupting at a time when the city's economic and cultural future is as anxiety inducing as it is full of potential. These are interesting times, in which everyone seems to be looking for answers, and this presents a chance to delve into those conversations at highly developed levels. You might gain some insight, network a fateful introduction, or discover something new to love. Start with our look at the designers you're likely to stumble across in the process. F FASHIONxt Oct. 10-13 fashionxt.net Oct. 11-14 solestrucknosleeptil.tumblr.com No Sleep Til... CUE Your Guide to a Multitude of Design Events by Marjorie Skinner THERE ARE SO MANY design-related events coming up, you'll never to able to attend all of them. Here are the ones we think sound like the most fun. (Many Design Week Portland events are free but require registration, so hit designweekportland.com before you go.) OVERLOAD TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9 Design Week Opening--Get a first look at some of the design nerds you'll be partying with, with your beer goggles firmly on. The Cleaners, 403 SW 10th, 7:30 pm, $10 suggested donation ShowPDX Furniture Exhibit--A display of over 60 of the most unique furniture designs coming out of the region. ShowPDX, 1233 NW 12th, noon, free, see designweekportland.com for full listing of exhibit hours � � � � � � � � � � � � � Continued on pg. 15 October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 13 EVEN MORE DELICIOUS CHOICES THAN THE AVERAGE PORTLAND RESTAURANT. SHOES that MAKE YOU SHINE. HAWTHORNE BLVD 3 4 2 6 S E H a w t h o r n e t 503 233 7476 PEARL DISTRICT 93 5 N W E v e r e t t t 503 595 4970 Shop online at Imeld as AndLouies .com 14 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 � � � � � � � � � � � Continued from pg. 13 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10 Eastside/North Open Houses--Spend the afternoon visiting your favorite design-related businesses and studios for a variety of refreshments, presentations, and exhibits, including Lowell, the Felt Hat, Beam & Anchor, Wood & Faulk, Pinball Pub- lishing, Adam Arnold, Grayling Jewelry, Nemo, and Sockeye. Then, do it again tomorrow on the Westside! Various locations, see designweekportland.com for maps, hours, and ticket prices where applicable Jared Levy's Graffiti Fine Art--The premiere of Jared Levy's short documentary about international graffiti culture's influence on design, followed by a Q&A and group showcase of type design, including a submission by Mercury Art Director Justin "Scrappers" Morrison. Ziba Auditorium, 810 NW Marshall, film at 6:30 pm, showcase at 8:30 pm, $20 for film, showcase is free FASHIONxt Opening Night--Get a first look at how fashion shows meet personal technology, with collections from Project Runway vets Seth Aaron and Viktor Luna. Vigor Industrial Shipyard, 5555 N Channel, 6 pm reception and exhibits, 8 pm show, $25100, tickets at fashionxt.net THURSDAY, OCTOBER 11 Faythe Levine--The DIY icon behind the Handmade Nation book and film pres� � � � � � � � � � � � � Continued on pg. 17 From left to right: Kelley Roy, Alexandria Cummings, Seamus Holley and Charles Becky Ross Apparel Designer Becky Ross was still a student in the Art Institute of Portland's apparel design program when she became a contestant on Project Runway. She didn't win, and she did cry (the cameras followed her into the bathroom after a fellow contestant called her designs "dowdy"), but she left the experience with her dignity intact. Since her return she's finished school, competed in the 2011 Portland Fashion Week's Emerging Designer competition, and taken on a role as media spokesperson for FASHIONxt, where she'll be debuting her spring 2013 collection. MARJORIE SKINNER MERCURY: FASHIONxt is going to have more former Project Runway contestants than Portland Fashion Week ever did--seven of them, though only yourself and Seth Aaron hail from the area. Do you have any insight into why Portland has become such a popular place for them to show their lines? BECKY ROSS: We have a lot of winners from the area, and Portland is so open minded about expression that I think they feel comfortable. It's also become kind of like a reunion. We all know some of the people from other seasons. It's like gaining a new set of cousins. It's like the Project Runway family. What are you focused on for your spring collection? I still have some of the military influence, but I have some pretty pieces along with the tough pieces. It's called "Cargo," but I don't believe there are any cargo pockets anywhere in it. I use a lot of utility fabrics, which is part of my own personal fashion sense. I think women in the world today, we need a little bit of toughness. The Project Runway experience has led a lot of Portland contestants to move away and pursue a more traditional career path. Do you see yourself doing that or remaining in the independent design field? I'm not sure where my career's going to take me, I just know my basic goal is to empower women through fashion, and make clothing for women and not girls--women who have curves and are maybe over 30. The average woman in this country can't shop for their size. I have no control over the models [at FASHIONxt], but I have requested to get as many girls who are 5'6" and have curves as possible. [My designs are] not going to look good on a size zero. What other designers are you excited to see this week? I'm excited to see what Viktor Luna has. He was my tablemate in the workroom on Project Runway and I think he should have won. Joshua Christensen is coming, and I'm really excited to see his menswear because on the show he wasn't able to do what he really does. Joshua McKinley, the fellow contestant who made you cry on camera, was just announced as an addition to the FASHIONxt shows. How awkward is that? It will be interesting to see him. There were some after-shows in LA where I did accept an apology from him on air, but I haven't had any contact with him since. I'm hoping he can come see my show and see what I can do outside of national reality TV. I'm anxious to see how he is toward me, how he acts. I hope there are cameras around. Kelley Roy ADX Director ADX was opened by Kelley Roy on June 3, 2011, and has quickly grown into an indispensable resource for the city's independent design and manufacturing community. A membership-driven prototyping facility, mentorship incubator, and event space with 10,000 square feet, it has become the site of a broad range of classes, parties, and hard work. MARJORIE SKINNER MERCURY: What is the ADX origin story? KELLEY ROY: We originally started as a place called Art Department, primarily operating as a gallery, and saw more of a need for people to be able to use the space. I started doing more event stuff, and then I heard about [similarly membership-based, maker-oriented workspace/education center] 3rd Ward in New York, and did some research, looking at other places like that around the country. The main idea was to give designers from all skill levels a place to hone their skills and collaborate. We also now get hired for fabrication projects by places like Wieden + Kennedy, Nike, and Sizzle Pie--we've developed quite a portfolio. We do classes on everything from metal shop and woodshop to bicycle maintenance. We also do branding in-house, and business and marketing consulting services, because a lot of designers don't have a knack for business. It's just become a big network. What's ADX's most important role in the design community? Being a resource for designers wanting to start their own businesses. We've become a first launching point, where you don't have to make 10,000 of something, making it more manageable to get your product in the market. We're kind of becoming a small-run manufacturing facility as well. What's been your involvement with Design Week Portland? I've been involved since the beginning. It's something that's been wanting to happen. There's a lot of energy. One of our goals is to have Portland be seen as a hub of design-- similar to how our food scene has developed into quite the affair. It's one of the main reasons we're involved, and one of our main reasons for existing. Design Week is just one of many ways we're hoping to do it. What is it about Portland and designers anyway? If you don't have a job you can sort of start your own thing, and there's a lot of people willing to take a chance and make a go of it. People like to nerd out on stuff here, whether it's coffee, bikes, etc., and what we're seeing are more people actually making the tools that they need to nerd out on those things. It's pretty clear in the bike industry, where people are replacing parts that were made in Taiwan, and not made very well. From coffee roasters to chocolate makers, the machines they use are not really very good, so they're making them better by developing locally made machines. It's kind of cool. October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 15 Breast C or Use In-S an Awaren cer n Any One ess eO 30 Ite nth Mo % tor OFF m Stella McCartney Fall 2012 Lingerie Available Exclusively at Lille Boutique Join us Friday Oct 5th at 7pm for a chance to win a $500 Lille Boutique gift certi cate Gerding Theater at the Armory 128 NW Eleventh Avenue "...a delectable blend of the macabre and the playful, the sensationalist and the serious, the grisly and the gristly, MUSIC AND LYRICS BY STEPHEN SONDHEIM � BOOK BY HUGH WHEELER FROM AN ADAPTATION BY CHRISTOPHER BOND � DIRECTED BY CHRIS COLEMAN 16 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 F 1007 E BURNSIDE W W W. L I L L E B O U T I Q U E . C O M 5 0 3 . 2 3 2 . 0 3 3 3 1124 SW ALDER W W W. L I L L E T R O U S S E A U . C O M 5 0 3 . 2 2 2 . 2 7 0 2 503.445.3700 pcs.org Sweeney Todd is a fabulous feast." --The Oregonian Gretchen Rumbaugh and Aloysius Gigl in Sweeney Todd. Photo by Patrick Weishampel. NOW�OCTOBER 21 Tasca & Paul Gulick Helen & Jerry Stern 744 NW 12th Ave Portland OR 97209 (503) 764-9243 thehaberdasherypdx.com � � � � � � � � � � � Continued from pg. 15 ents work on the topics of "community, art, empowerment, and documentation." PSU Art Building, 2000 SW 5th, #320, noon, free Fashion Speaks--A panel of Portland fashion designers discuss the challenges and importance of producing and supporting local apparel design. Mag-Big, 3279 SE Hawthorne, 6 pm, free Local Fashion on the Runway--The most locally focused night of FASHIONxt, with new collections from Amanda Grisham, Becky Ross, and more. Vigor Industrial Shipyard, 5555 N Channel, 6 pm reception and exhibits, 8 pm show, $25-100, tickets at fashionxt.net FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12 Put a Bird in It--A party to display and auction off over 100 birdhouses built by members of the art and design community. Union/Pine, 525 SE Pine, 7:30 pm, free Seth Aaron--The Vancouver designer and Project Runway winner headlines FASHIONxt with the debut of a new collection of his sometimes controversial but never boring work. Vigor Industrial Shipyard, 5555 N Channel, 6 pm reception and exhibits, 8 pm show, $35-150, tickets at fashionxt.net � � � � � � � � � � � � � Continued on pg. 19 Mark Lewman Creative Director and Principal of Nemo Founded way back in 1999, Nemo has a foothold in Portland's heavily trafficked branding and marketing industry. Specializing in the youth market, they've done everything from sportswear advertisements to concert posters. During Design Week Portland, Lewman will give what's sure to be a popular talk, "Different by Design," advising how to stand out as a job candidate in a competitive creative market. MARJORIE SKINNER MERCURY: What makes Nemo unique? MARK LEWMAN: Nemo's superpower is youth culture. That's a broad term, but we understand how to connect with difficult-to-reach and constantly moving niche audiences. We also bring together brand strategy and design, which is like being an architect and a carpenter. Understanding what makes a brand tick is a huge advantage if you're designing the various experiences that make up modern marketing. For your presentation, why did you choose to focus on job attainment? Portland is a talent-rich city, which is another way of saying creativity is a commodity. Young people without a reputation or a strong network may have a ton of rad ideas and drive, but lack the reputation or the network needed to land a gig. Hopefully we can inspire and guide those seeking work in the design community about how to position themselves, and secure the right opportunities that fit their capabilities and what they're passionate about. What do you hope Design Week Portland as a whole will accomplish? I expect the Instagram feeds to become clogged with eye candy, and the streets to overflow with tipsy makers hopped up on pirate soda. I don't know... There's a ton of awesome studios and people participating--hopefully it strengthens the foundation and collective definition of what makes Portland design unique, and fosters some new collaborations. I couldn't ask for anything more. Diesel The Cellar Building 30 NW 12th st. Portland, OR 97209 503.241.1355 mercury.indd 1 9/26/12 5:25 PM October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 17 Dedicated to donating 100% of profits to animal rescue and adoption. fetcheyewear.com Benefitting the Cat Adoption Team Anniversary Sale & Party! October 25th-28th Sales! Prizes! Cake! Open 7 Days a Week 10 am to 6 pm! 4838 SW Scholls Ferry Rd. Portland, OR 97225 (503) 208.3635 email@example.com www.catthriftstore.org 221 N W 11 TH AVE. P OR T LAND, O R 18 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 � � � � � � � �� � � � Continued from pg. 17 SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13 Letterpress Printers Fair--A riot of letterpress goods, live printing, film screenings, demos, and more. ADX, 417 SE 11th, noon-7 pm, free Yohji Yamamoto: This Is My Dream--A documentary film giving a rare glimpse at one of the most private high-fashion designers working today. Screening as part of A Design Film Festival. Ziba Auditorium, 810 NW Marshall, 4:30 pm, $8-10 No Sleep Til... D�j� Vu--Solestruck hosts a nontraditional fashion showcase of designers near and far (Hello Eliza, Degen, Stolen Girlfriends Club, etc.) with jewelry displays, and live music by White Rainbow and Y ACHT. The Spot, 2401 N Harding, 7 pm, $15-18, 21+ SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14 No Sleep Til... Shit Show--Commiserate over your hangover from last night's D�j� Vu Dig a Pony afterparty with some "mellow" shoe shopping at Solestruck's aptly named, first-ever sample sale, where customers will fight over design-forward wares going for as low as $20. Solestruck, 417 SW 13th, noon Portland is like a fashion district, and we need to educate people about small production. For Design Week Portland you're hosting Fashion Speaks, a panel discussion with designers Carolyn Hart, Lizz Bassinger, and Alyson Clair. What do you think the focus of the conversation will be? I assume there will be a lot of burgeoning designers [in attendance], and that it will continue the discussion started with Elizabeth Cline [author of Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion, who visited Portland recently to speak to members of the apparel community]. How do we keep spreading this information? In Portland, food is doing it, but we need to carry it over into all elements of our city. And it's not crafty; it's small production. It's about culture. When you visit Portland, you're experiencing a culture. And how can we really make the most impact in the community with our store? I think it's to be a resource for designers who are serious. We're definitely going to be discussing the challenges of designing in Portland. I'm on Hawthorne, which is like a vintage district, and people aren't used to paying very much for clothing. People aren't used to shopping with an educated perspective on clothing, which is also a fashionable perspective. It's definitely not just about being economical, it's about being rad. Cassie Ridgway of Mag-Big Mag-Big is a SE Hawthorne store specializing in clothing and accessories from local designers, manufactured in small batches. They also offer sewing classes, DIY workshops, and the annual Alley 33 summer fashion show. Founder and owner Cassie Ridgway's commitment to these types of products and their implications for the future of the American economy have positioned her in the middle of the conversation about how to facilitate this shift. MARJORIE SKINNER MERCURY: How did you arrive at the idea to open a clothing store specializing in small-production fashion? CASSIE RIDGWAY: My degree is in poetics, and there's really no way to quite monetize that or make that into a career, so when I graduated and was trying to figure out if I was going to become a poet and teacher, I was also getting into creating clothing and jewelry. I was sort of on the street-fair circuit for a long time, and I was meeting all these amazing people who were working in small production. I started to feel like those people needed stronger representation. With very little money but a super grassroots group of friends, we just did it. Today we've had 500 designers come through the shop and counting. Our focal point has been clothing because I feel like that's the most underrepresented. Southeast merc_horiz0038_12_pdot.pdf 1 3/9/12 10:19 AM C M Y CM MY CY CMY K October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 19 I got them at Decades Vintage Vintage Eyewear Eyewear for for Men Men and and Women Women 328 SW Stark � 503-223-1177 I love your frames www.decadesvintage.com body beaUtifUl october 13�20, 2012 keller aUditoriUm Gods and muses, athletes and artists inspire an epic evening of dance in concert with the Portland Art Museum's Fall 2012 the body beautiful in ancient greece exhibition. olymPic insPiration Grace Shibley & Brett Bauer in George Balanchine's Apollo. Photo by Andy Batt. aPollo Igor Stravinsky / George Balanchine orPheUs Portrait ekho World Premiere Franz Liszt / Kent Stowell CPE Bach & Christoph Willibald Gluck / Christopher Stowell the second detail ComPAny Premiere Thom Willems / William Forsythe Under 35? Pay yoUr age / tickets start at $23 503.222.5538 / www.obt.org / ticketmaster PrESEnTInG SPonSorS the boeing company 20 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 Rolfe of Boys' Fort Richard Rolfe (who goes by "Rolfe") and Jake France first introduced Boys' Fort as part of last year's downtown holiday pop-up shop program, with a vast, artfully arranged array of boyishly themed merchandise, from beautifully selected pocket knives, stash boxes, and camping accessories to larger furniture pieces and fine art. When the two-month program ended, the search for a new location put them on hiatus, but in April they moved into the Kenton neighborhood, bunking up with Salvage Works and Solabee Flowers and Botanicals. It's an arrangement that's conducive to collaborations like the Boys' Fort/Salvage Works furniture projects, featured at Design Week's ShowPDX regional furniture exhibit. MARJORIE SKINNER MERCURY: Describe the furniture you've been working on with Salvage Works. ROLFE: One of the requirements for anything we put out in the world is that it's from salvaged materials or repurposed materials. Everything we used we had to find in the Salvage Works yard. We found barn doors, and left the oxidized nail holes, which to me are the most beautiful part. It's like industrial leopard skin or something. We used old pitchforks to sort of form the back of a bookcase, and we have a wonderful console table with an old shovel across it, a bench with an old tractor brake handle. And then we have a lot of enormous to very small tree stumps that are on red wheels that you can roll around your place. It makes a nice table or something to sit on. One of the elements we try to retain is the natural beauty of the materials as we find them. To what extent has furniture design become an emphasis at Boys' Fort? It was always our plan to have a furniture line. We presented the idea to Salvage Works, and they thought it was great because they had already been making rustic tables. It was natural. Boys' Fort still proceeds with offering a very carefully curated junk store for boys. There are probably only about seven of the furniture pieces, but something is always being built. How did you become involved in the furniture show for Design Week? It was a call for entries that came across our email. We really love these pieces, and for any artist the most important thing is maybe not people buying your art but seeing it. The piece we're showing we call it "The Deliverance Bookshelf." We display it in the store with a stack of bibles and moonshine jugs. From left to right: Richard Rolfe and Jake France I Shandong www.shandongportland.com Voted "Best in the City" by Portland Mercury Readers Now Hiring Stylists 1111 E Burnside, Suite 100 Portland, Or 97214 503.234.4100 www.epicenterhair.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 21 MY, WHAT A BUSY WEEK! OUR ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PICKS FOR THE WEEK OF OCTOBER 4-10 THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4 ELVIS' BIRTHDAY--Fuck Graceland! We've got Downtown Elvis, whose 50th birthday party is free tonight. The old-school Portland weirdo spent 10 of his years playing a tiny guitar in a black pantsuit at Saturday Market, in between operating a spanking booth and starring in a wrestling league. SM w/Advisory, Pillowfight, & more; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 7 pm, FREE, 21+ 10-GALLON LAFFS--If you love great sketch comedy, check out one of the rib ticklingest groups out of Austin, Texas, Stag Comedy. Blending weird live sketches with the occasional gut-busting video, they're the best thing to come out of Texas since... okay, since I can't think of anything, let's just say they're the best thing to come out of Texas. WSH Boom Bap, 640 SE Stark, Thurs 9 pm, $5, all ages; Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, Fri 8 pm, $5, 21+ SOLD The Portland Fashion and Style Awards by Marjorie Skinner OUT FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5 CODY RIVERS --Sketch comedy isn't quite the cultural force it once was--the kids are all about stand-up these days--but that's no excuse for missing brilliant sketch duo the Cody Rivers show. These Washingtonians are cerebral, inventive, and quite simply two of the funniest people you'll see in any comedic form. AH Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK, Fri-Sat 9:30 pm, $10-12 INDIAN BURIAL GROUND--Clear your calendar for an onslaught of Halloween films showing this month around town. Kick it off right with local podcasters cortandfatboy's screening of 1982's funny, scary, smart Poltergeist, with its suburbia populated with ominous trees, badass tequila worms, and mischievous interior-decorating spirits. You might've forgotten how awesome this flick is. CF Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 11 pm, $3, 21+ BEST BUSKERS EVER--Here's a hilarious idea come to life: Pack the slowpoke Portland Streetcar with 16 local bands. Voila! A $1, all-ages, hop-on, hop-off roving music festival! Who cares if it takes 20 minutes to go 10 blocks? You've got Sun Angle, Jeffrey Jerusalem, and over a dozen others to keep you entertained during the second annual Streetcar Mobile Music Fest . SM All streetcars on Eastside Loop, 6-10 pm, $1, all ages; afterparty at Union/ Pine, 525 SE Pine, 9 pm-midnight, FREE, all ages THE FIRST-EVER Portland Fashion and Style Awards debut this week, an ambitious affair at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, with tickets starting at $35 and reaching $100. Sounds fancy: Every week in this space I write about many of the people working in the Portland industry, and the fact that there is more happening in the city than there is room to write about indicates a thriving and expansive community. An event that celebrates some of its brighter stars with public appreciation and glass-blown trophies that stand over a foot tall (and cost over $250 a pop wholesale, according to Executive Producer Tod Foulk) isn't an outlandish one, but its execution thus far is questionable at best. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6 SHIT-SUCKING VAMPIRE--The '80s vampire classic The Lost Boys gets reprised for the stage by the same hilarious crew that brought you Road House: The Play! Get ready for giant hair, leather jackets, vampires on roller skates, and some of the funniest actors in town. AH Ethos at IFCC, 5340 N Interstate, Fri-Sat 8 pm, through Nov 3, $18-22, badreputationprods.com TEXTUAL--Portland's favorite literary dress-up party is back! The seventh annual Text Ball, "The Graphic Details," is hosted by AC Dickson with storytelling by Nicole Georges, Carson Ellis, and Matt Bors, plus music, word games, and even dirty limericks! Incorporating text into your ensemble is strongly encouraged. MS Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, 7 pm, $12-15 HEART OF DARKNESS--Travel deep into the jungles of heavy metal for the fifth annual Fall into Darkness Festival. This three-day blitzkrieg of head-banging promises bone-rattling fun, and Saturday's lineup at Branx is stellar, with old guard of doom metal Saint Vitus and sludgy North Carolina outfit Weedeater, whose frontman lost a toe after horsing around with his favorite shotgun! CF w/Sourvein, Ephemeros; Branx, 320 SE 2nd, 9 pm, $12, 21+ On the morning of Monday, October 1, visitors to the Portland Fashion and Style Awards' Facebook page were greeted with a list of nominees for awards in a comprehensive list of categories ranging from best boutiques and salons by quadrant to best fashion photographers, models, apparel designers, and even best dressed, and best writer (which I'm both nominated for and likely to be disqualifi ed from). The curious thing, though, is that out of nearly 100 nominees, the large majority of them are... obscure. As in, I've literally never heard of them. That's because, as Foulk readily admits, all of the nominations in each category were crowd sourced. Whoever happened to come across information about the awards' existence was invited to log into the website and nominate whomever they wanted in each category. The nominees are simply the top four people who received the most nominations. Of the nearly 5,000, Foulk admits that many of the names were only nominated once, and agreed that at least in its initial generation, it boiled down to a popularity contest. "We wanted people to work for it," Foulk says. "It's up to you to get people to vote for you." One can sort of see the logic there, I suppose, but the proof is in the pudding, and it's a pretty out-of-touch pudding. Furthermore, Foulk points out that the final winners are determined by a panel of judges--a stable of 20 that does include some trustworthy names, like Emmy-winning stylist Amanda Needham, as well as bizarre choices like Dave Dahl of Dave's Killer Bread. But when they're overwhelmingly presented with sets of nominees that bear little-to-no resemblance to what's actually making waves in the industry, they're squandering their expertise on choosing the best out of four candidates who could have simply hit up their friends to nominate them, and not an educated "best" list of what exists in the city, and... what are we awarding again? "There are a lot of people working to make Portland something, fashion- and style-wise," says Foulk. "People like that deserve recognition." I completely agree, but in order for it to be meaningful, that recognition should come from a knowledgeable and well thought-out place, informed from the start by people who are intimately connected to what's relevant within a still very fragile industry. Portland Fashion and Style Awards, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, Fri Oct 5, 8 pm, $35-100, all ages. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7 HOPE/CHANGE--Third Rail is one of Portland's best theater companies, so it's worth noticing when they get ambitious: That Hopey Changey Thing is the first play in a four-play cycle that takes an intimate look at how contemporary political events have affected one modern family. They're producing one play in the cycle a year for the next four years, so get on board now. AH Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, through Oct 28, $22-42,thirdrailrep.org GIVE ME THE BAT, WENDY--All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work The Shining (in 35mm) and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes... BR Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Fri-Thurs, see Movie Times at portlandmercury.com, $7-8 MONDAY, OCTOBER 8 A-MAIZE-ING! --Halloween's, like, weeks away. But it's definitely not too early to nerd out inside one of Sauvie Island's very elaborate corn mazes--then take a hayride, buy a pumpkin, or eat and drink yourself into a stupor. If you're feeling apocalyptic, dig Kruger's Farm's Mayan-inspired labyrinth. Or head down the road to the Pumpkin Patch and wander through a likeness of Portlandia (the statue). DCT Kruger's Farm, 17100 NW Sauvie Island, maze open daily, $6; Pumpkin Patch, 16511 NW Gillihan, maze open daily, $7 PUTRIFIERS --John Dwyer, frontman for Bay Area garage-rock band Thee Oh Sees, recently counted Extreme Elvis, Sun Ra, Donald Duck, and Van Halen as key infl uences in his musical upbringing. You'd have to be crazy not to want see how that manifests itself onstage. BR w/Sic Alps; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, Mon 5:30 pm, $13, all ages; Tues 9 pm, $13, 21+ TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9 FINDERS KEEPERS --Absurd trasharchiving magazine Found celebrates its 10th birthday with a nationwide tour by its heartthrob founder Davy Rothbart and his even cuter brother Peter. Tonight, the pair shows off readers' best new fi nds, sing some weird songs, and read from a new book. It'll be every man's treasure. SM Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $10 DESIGN WEEK--The first-ever Design Week Portland kicks off tonight, with five days full of lectures, workshops, exhibitions, films, and more, celebrating Portland's active creative community across many disciplines. Get ready to catch some science, do some networking, and have a ton of fun. Start with the opening party hosted by CreativeCares. MS The Cleaners, 403 SW 10th, 7:30 pm, $10, designweekportland.com WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10 WORDS + MUSIC--The wholly excellent Tin House magazine is throwing an awesome shindig tonight titled Tin House: A Slice of the City featuring readings from local luminaries Jon Raymond and Pauls Toutonghi paired with great local bands Golden Retriever and Cloaks. All to celebrate the cultural exchange between PDX and Brooklyn. Thanks, Brooklyn! WSH Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $5 22 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 YOLO DOLO--Every Wednesday in October, Dolorean plays free happy hour sets at the LaurelThirst, offering the perfect occasion to ease out of those workday blues and into a stiff drink. Led by songwriter extraordinaire Al James, the band's one of the best in town, alternating between fiery rock and the lonesomest folk you'll ever hear. NL LaurelThirst Public House, 2958 NE Glisan, 6 pm, FREE SEAN HAYES THE RETURN OF BELOVED BAY AREA SINGER/SONGWRITER EXTRAORDINARILY PROLIFIC EXPERIMENTAL NEW-FOLK THURSDAY! SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE AN EARLY FALL EVENING WITH TWO PNW POWERHOUSES The MALDIVES FRIDAY! WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 3 +BIRDS OF CHICAGO LOW HUMS +COLOSSAL YES THURSDAY OCTOBER 4 � $12 ADVANCE � $18 ADVANCE WOLF GANG SATURDAY! THE ROYAL CONCEPT +FRANK + DEROL EXPANSIVE INDIE-ROCK FROM UK BUZZ BUILDERS CELILO +SARA JACKSON-HOLMAN FRIDAY OCTOBER 5 � MAKE IT A NIGHT Present that night's show ticket and get $3 off any entree Sun - Thur in the dining room 830 E BURNSIDE � 503-231-WOOD � www.dougfirlounge.com $8 ADVANCE SATURDAY OCTOBER 6 � $11 ADVANCE TWO, NO HOLDS BARRED, EVENINGS WITH Thur 10/4 Six60 Beisbol 8:30 p.m. THE DROWNING MEN +HARRISON HUDSON DOUG FIR RESTAURANT + BAR OPEN 7AM�LATE EVERYDAY SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, LATE-NIGHT. HAPPY HOUR 3-6 PM EVERYDAY, COVERED SMOKING PATIO, FIREPLACE ROOM, LOTS OF LOG. LIVE SHOWS IN THE LOUNGE... THEE OH SEES SUNDAY OCTOBER 7 � $14 ADVANCE MONDAY OCTOBER 8 (all ages matinee) $13 ADVANCE TUESDAY OCTOBER 9 � COUNTRY CLASSICISM MIXED WITH PUNK ROCK FROM MIDWESTERN FIRECRACKER +SIC ALPS Fri 10/5 The Spring Standards Welfare � Evan Way (of the Parson Red Heads) 9:30 p.m. THEESATISFACTION HOSPITALITY LYDIA LOVELESS TEEN +MINDEN $12 ADVANCE FUNK-PSYCHEDELIC FEMINISTA SCI-FI HIP-HOP FROM SEATTLESTALWARTS ANGULAR, INTRICATE, AND INTELLIGENT INDIE POP FROM NYC WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 10 +KINGDOM CRUMBS +KINGDOM CRUMBS THURSDAY OCTOBER 11 � � $12 ADVANCE A SPECIAL EVENING WITH BELOVED TEXAS SONGWRITER FRIDAY OCTOBER 12 +KASEY ANDERSON & STAR ANNA � $10 ADVANCE HIP-SHAKIN' BOOGIE ROCK FROM SASKATOON Sat 10/6 9:30 p.m. Broken Soviet Hill Talks thursday, october 4 5:30 p.m. is "eagle time" THE SHEEPDOGS RADNEY FOSTER ELITE GYMNASTICS +MYTHS GRIMES � VISUALLY-STUNNING ELECTRO-POP FROM BUZZ-WORTHY QUEBECOIS MONDAY OCTOBER 15 TIX AT THE DOOR brothers oF the houNd +BLACK BOX REVELATION SATURDAY OCTOBER 13 � $12 ADVANCE SUN AIRW AY SUNDAY OCTOBER 14 � $16 ADVANCE POST-PUNK REVIVAL FROM SAN DIEGO COMBOS BLISSED-OUT EPIC POP FROM PHILADELPHIA DUO FrIday, october 5 reverb brothers saturday, october 6 5:30 p.m. is "eagle time" AARON FREEMAN AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH FORMER WEEN FRONTMAN the studeNt loaN suNday, october 7 4:30 p.m. is "eagle time" CROCODILES THURSDAY OCTOBER 18 +PURE BATHING CULTURE � $10 ADVANCE korby leNker 7 p.m. moNday, october 8 8:30 p.m. leo tuesday, october 9 hutsoN� met cIty Josh aNd mer 8:30 p.m. TUESDAY OCTOBER 16 � $20 ADVANCE WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 17 � THE SOFT PACK +HEAVY HAWAII TIX AT THE DOOR Robyn Hitchcock - 10/25 Dr. Theopolis 10/31 Onuinu 11/15 Cold Specks 11/20 How To Dress Well 12/7 Cave Singers 12/6 All of these shows on sale at Ticketfly.com wedNesday, october 10 world's FINest 8:30 p.m. POI DOG PONDERING 10/19 � FREELANCE WHALES 10/20 (late) � NEIL HALSTEAD 10/20 (early) � LOST IN THE TREES 10/21 LORD HURON 10/22 � HUSKY (AU) 10/26 � BOWERBIRDS 10/27 � BALMORHEA 10/28 � NNEKA 10/30 � DR. THEOPOLIS 10/31 SERA CAHOONE 11/1 � SEA WOLF 11/3 � THE SEA & CAKE 11/4 � ZAMMUTO 11/5 � RAGS & RIBBONS 11/7 ADVANCE TICKETS AT TICKETFLY - www.tickfly.com and at JACKPOT RECORDS � SUBJECT TO SERVICE CHARGE &/OR USER FEE ALL SHOWS: 8PM DOORS / 9PM SHOW � 21+ UNLESS NOTED � BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS � ROOM PACKAGES AVAILABLE AT www.jupiterhotel.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 23 MUSIC Love and Let Love Gossip Move in the Right Direction by Ned Lannamann IF YOU PAID $20 for an advance ticket they always have. They then embarked to to Gossip's upcoming show at the Crystal, London to do sessions with famed producer Mark Ronson, but after a few the band is giving you $5 back. Gossip months of working together, they "I requested from the beginning Wed Oct 10 for that show to be affordable," Crystal Ballroom decided to scrap their work with says Gossip drummer Hannah 1332 W Burnside Ronson. "It was mostly a scheduling thing," Blilie says. "He was Blilie, who wanted keep advance ticket prices at $15. (Day-of-show prices just super busy, so it was hard for him to will be $20.) "So yeah, it got knocked devote the time that we needed for it. He down to what it was supposed to be origi- was touring, and writing a song for the nally. I think it should be affordable for Olympics, and doing all this shit, so it ended up falling apart a little bit. There's no your hometown. "There can't be a better place to come hard feelings, really, but sometimes that home to than Portland," she adds, avow- happens, and I think the record totally ing that the band still considers Portland turned out better for that." The band returned to Portland and their hometown. This is in spite of Gossip's globetrotting status and enormous started over with another well-known following in Europe, which has taken the British producer, Brian Higgins, who coband to the heights of fame in the UK and wrote Cher's "Believe" and has produced turned singer Beth Ditto into an icon of acts like Kylie Minogue and Pet Shop Boys. "He's a cool guy. We were coming music and style. "It's been just an amazing, weird jour- from different worlds and different apney for all of us," says Blilie. "I don't know, proaches a little bit"--Blilie mentions the we still feel really shocked by it in a lot of time they played him the Zombies' classic ways, but we're trying to seize the moment "Time of the Season," a song he'd never and do what we can with the attention that heard before--"but he really liked the we've got--to speak out for queer issues songs and he understood what we were and human-rights issues and talk about all trying to do with them, so it was a good the things that we've been talking about working relationship with him." They finished tracking A Joyful this whole time as a band." With Gossip's new album, A Joyful Noise back in London, and the result is Noise, Ditto, Blilie, and guitarist Nathan a mature, measured album that reflects Howdeshell started writing material in the group's recent listening habits ('80s their North Portland practice space, as and '90s house music for Blilie; ABBA, Paul Simon, and country music for Ditto). What it discards in terms of Gossip's previously jagged dance-punk sound, it makes up for with intelligent, almost sage-like songwriting, and a global, across-the-aisle accessibility that char- acterizes much of the best and most successful pop music. "Beth is a very outspoken frontwoman, and she's always going to speak her mind," says Blilie of where the band is now. "And the cool thing now is that she has more of a platform to do so. She's not talking to the same 200 people at a punk show--which was great and fine, and we did that for a long time, but it's like, if you get that opportunity to speak to a lot of people, you gotta do it." GOSSIP The Ominous Cube of Doom plays triangle! RANKIN Rock Race Sic Alps Hit the Studio and Play Nice by Mark Lore MUSIC SAN FRANCISCO has every right to cleaning up its act, choosing to record for the claim itself as the current rock 'n' roll hub first time in an actual studio. That's not to of California, and perhaps even the coun- say the record has been shellacked beyond recognition. There's still a try--if for no other reason Sic Alps ramshackle feel to "Thylacine than the sheer volume of Mon Oct 8 & Tues Oct 9 Man" and "Wake Up, It's Over output by three bands over Doug Fir II," which manage to juggle the past few years. Thee 830 E Burnside the heroin chic of Velvet UnOh Sees released two LPs in 2011 and another this year. Ty Segall derground and the grand pop of Big Star. "Overall, we put a little more thought is about to release his third of 2012. And Sic Alps recorded two 7-inches and a full- into it, and tried different approaches," length last year; in 2012 they've already Donovan says. "Like I've said before, we added two more 7-inches to the shelf and were trying to challenge ourselves instead of the listener." just released a new LP this month. Most notable is the addition of some This kind of saturation would normally kill a band. It should kill a band. Instead, the new-old sounds to the mix. You'll hear incestuous Bay Area rock underbelly seems them immediately in opener "Glyphs," a to be getting better, as bands continue to scrappy number tamed slightly by string twist Moby Grape-inspired garage rock into arrangements from Portland by way of wonderfully skewed new forms. "The song- local multi-instrumentalist Ryan Franwriting is the conduit for the fun in the stu- cesconi, known for his work with Joanna dio," explains Sic Alps vocalist/guitarist/last Newsom. However, it's the album's fi nal man standing Mike Donovan. "There's still minutes that might be the most jarring-- not for any noisy freakouts, but for how stuff I want to do." Last year's Napa Asylum proved just serene they are. "Rock Races" is sad and that, resulting in a sprawling and moody melty, with guitars barely audible over double record whose pop sensibilities were piano and strings, while "See You on the occasionally obscured by rickety home Slopes"--which Donovan says originates production and jarring firebombs of gui- from a 21-year-old melody--might be the tar squalor. The new Sic Alps has the band quietest Sic Alps song ever put to tape. 24 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 The inclusion of strings was also part of the impetus for recording the songs in a studio. The decision also kept the band on task. "When you record at home you can wait until inspiration strikes and it only costs you the price of tape," Donovan says. He continues with a laugh. "At some point we had to get the record done. It was more like, `That was a $250 song.'" Sic Alps saw another change recently when longtime drummer Matt Hartman left the band last year, which shook things up, if only briefly, as they subsequently released four 7-inches in the following nine months. Donovan--along with drummer Douglas Armour, guitarist Barrett Avner, and Tim Hellman on bass--already have a new batch of songs in the bag. Not surprisingly, Donovan credits the band's prolific ways to a culture inspired by hyperactive Thee Oh Sees frontman John Dwyer. Sic Alps are no slouches themselves, having earned the respect of Thurston Moore and the members of Pavement. Donovan admits it's a nice perk to doing what he does. "Making a living from music is difficult," he says. "But making a life of it is pretty easy." SIC ALPS Their output makes you look like the aimless slacker you are, slacker. VANNI BASSETTI Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 25 GET `EM ON SALE DiAnA KrAll Glad Rag Doll $14.95-cd $15.95-cd dlx $19.95-lp $14.95-cd $16.95-cd+dvd $27.95-lp The 2nd Law Muse Flying lotus $12.95-cd $19.95-lp Until The Quiet Comes Sale prices good thru 10/14/12 Tori Amos � Iris Dement � Tift Merritt � The Mountain Goats � Matt & Kim � Heart Van Morrison � Jake Shimabukuro � Beth Orton � Cecilia Bartoli � Mark Eitzel Also out tHis WeeK: used new &s & Vinyl Vd Cds, d for any & all used Cds, dVds & Vinyl DOWNTOWN � 1313 W. Burnside � 503.274.0961 EASTSIDE � 1931 NE Sandy Blvd. � 503.239.7610 BEAVERTON � 3290 SW Cedar Hills Blvd. � 503.350.0907 OPEN EVERYDAY AT 9 A.m. | www.EVERYDAYmusic.cOm 26 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 In Space with THEESatisfaction by Andrew R Tonry MUSIC "WHEN WE MET it was kind of magi- vide both counterpoint and complement to cal," remembers Stas. "Cat was singing a Stas' smoky, rhythmic, slick yet forceful rhymes. They make the beats song--she was actually singTHEESatisfaction together, reflecting these ing about me." Wed Oct 10 same forces--backgrounds in It was at an open mic in Doug Fir jazz and hiphop, swirling with 2008. Before Stas and Cat knew 830 E Burnside modern production and coneach other. Before they became THEESatisfaction, collaborated with Sha- nectivity. After six online mixtapes and an bazz Palaces, and signed with Sub Pop. And, appearance on Shabazz Palaces' marvelof course, before they set sail toward the ous Black Up, THEESatisfaction signed with Sub Pop, who released awE naturalE edges of afro-futuristic space. The on-campus open mic, Retro Revo- earlier this year. It is innovative, stirring, lutionary Poets, was both Cat and Stas' funky, and fat free. "Everything has changed dramatically," primary artistic outlet. Studying jazz vocals at the University of Washington, says Stas of how THEESatisfaction has afCat (AKA Catherine Harris-White) of- fected their lives. But like the music, Stas ten hosted and improvised with the house remains confident and cool. "It isn't overband. Stas (AKA Stasia Irons) performed whelming," she says. "It's just different." her rap and poetry solo. Over the weeks, Cat found herself inspired and wrote a song about Stas. "She didn't know it was about her 'til later," Cat says. "It wasn't like, `This is for you, Stasia,' and then pointing at her in the crowd." Nonetheless, she sang it. They spoke soon after. "When we met in college we became immediate friends," says Stas. "We just wanted to chill and spend a lot of time together. Cat was already working at Starbucks and I got a job there." After Starbucks, the two went on to Costco. "We were not focused," Cat says, cracking up. "I mean we worked. We were getting people's lattes and such, and helping load people's cars at Costco. We did our jobs. But we definitely dreamed about something else--about doing music." Both on record and on stage, the two fit together almost preternaturally. Cat's DAVID BELISLE richly textured and tonal jazz croons pro- THEESATISFACTION Can't get no. Natural American Spirit� is a registered trademark of Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Co. � SFNTC 4 2012 Cool Out stand up for what you believe in, and VOTE November 6 Deep Space MUSIC The xx's Club-Pop Follow-Up by Ryan J. Prado DURING A PHONE CALL with Oliver ple vocals of guitarist Romy Madley Croft Sim, bassist/vocalist for London pop trio and Sim similarly seemed to subtract more than add to an overall ambithe xx, it's tough to ignore the iroThe xx ance. While the sparseness of their ny of our sputtering cell phone conSun Oct 7 debut whispered presence-wise, it nection as it relates to the choppy Roseland roared as an example of the power aesthetic of his band's sound. Sim 8 NW 6th of subtlety as science. is on the set for the popular EngCoexist, the band's second full-length, lish music show Later... with Jools Holland , and we're both struggling to hear has somehow buried itself even deeper into a shoegaze-y soundscape that apone another. Through the fussy reception, however, pears to borrow from the well-quoted Sim's explanations for his band's docile jazz ethos of understanding: It's the nature are somber, well thought out, and notes you don't hear that make it great. simple. The same can be said for the tunes It could be a convenient crutch for some on the band's new album, Coexist, the fol- bands, perhaps, to claim "art" in the face low-up to their critically lauded debut re- of only passable technical prowess. But cord that was awarded England's coveted for the xx, the void seems to be conjured honorably enough. Mercury Prize. "When you listen to the song, you real"I enjoy the subtleties in music, and I enjoy that the smallest things can have the ize that if something really doesn't need to be there, it still functions without it," exbiggest impact," says Sim. As heard on the group's debut, xx, their plains Sim. "We defi nitely can be guilty of minimalism came tethered with interest- trying to put too much in sometimes. This ing hints of house music, forged delicately time around, we had a lot more resources by sparse clicks of electric guitar, modest and we could have done a lot more to make 4/4 beats from the bowels of a digital sam- a much bigger sound. The sparseness just pler, and stammering bass lines. The sup- came with patience." cigarettes Portland Mercury Vote Ad 10-04-12_11-01-12.pdf 1 NaturalAmericanSpirit.com Website Restricted to 21+ October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 27 8/6/12 4:44 PM LiveMusic, Music,Cabaret, Cabaret,Burlesque Burlesque& &Rock-n-Roll Rock-n-Roll Live LiveMusic, Music,Cabaret, Cabaret,Burlesque Burlesque& &Rock-n-Roll Rock-n-Roll Live The Newly Restored Histori c 503-226-6630 � Open Daily 11am-2:30am � w w w. da n tes l i ve . c o m WEDNESDAY OCT 3 NO COVER SUPER DESU MAD MONIKER SHO DANTE'S FREE ROCK SHOWCASE! & SPECIAL GUESTS SHO E FREW E FREW OCT 5 SUPER DESU FRIDAY OCT5 WEDNESDAY OCT 3 $13 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME .d aant t sol ri tv .c w w ww . Sw t aw rT he ee rP le an d .o cm om 503-226-6630 � Open Daily 11am-2:30am � ww THURSDAY OCT 4 NO COVER MBRASCATU electrifying italian indie folk rock THURSDAY OCT 4 NO COVER FRIDAY OCT 5 $6 ADV 9PM WEDNESDAY OCT 10 WE WEDNESDAYOCT10 AMERICAN BASTARD FRIDAY AMERICAN BASTARD OCT 5 AFICIONADO SLY FOXX SLY FOXX TOMORROW'S DREAM THURSDAYOCT11 TOMORROW'S DREAM THU THURSDAY OCT 11 $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME WAX TAILOR MBRASCATU NO COVER DANTE'S FREE ROCK SHOWCASE! MAD MONIKER SHO & SPECIAL GUESTS SHO WITH LIKE RADIATION E FREW FRI $13 ADV electrifying italian indie folk rock E FREW W T MIXTAPES CITIZEN WED $10 ADV $6 ADV 9PM SATURDAY OCT 6 $20 ADV 9:30PM SQUARE PEG CONCERTS PRESENTS SUNDAY OCT 7 SPICE SATURDAY OCT 13 Karaoke SAT FromHelHel FromHelHel Karaoke From l l SATURDAYOCT13 Karaoke From l l SAT SINFERNO Karaoke SINFERNO BERGERETTE B ISES PRODUCTIONS & REBEL LION MUSIC PRESENT "The Best Show Burlesque, Firedancers In Town!" DJs, Magic & Debauchery! HOUSE FLOYD OF MONDAY OCT 8 HOUSE 12 FRIDAY OCT OCT12 RITCHIE FLOYD $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME IO ECHO SATURDAY OCT 6 WITH SPACE WAVES & WE ARE LIKE THE SPIDER $10 ADV SQUARE PEG CONCERTS $20 ADV 9:30PM PRESENTS $20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME OF FRI $20 ADV BAMBU STATION "The Best Show Burlesque, Firedancers In Town!" INNA VISION DJs, Magic & Debauchery! SUNDAY OCT 7 $6 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME ISES PRO MONDAY OCT 8 Bawdy medieval French songs of love... BA cabaret 10pm $3 So You Wanna Be A ROCK STAR? TUESDAY OCT 9 8pm Showtime CHUCK'N'BUCK DSL THE KARAOKE WITH A LIVE BAND FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS ! S H O W cabaret So You Wanna Be A ROCK STAR? $6 ADV open mic comedy with hostess dirt starr love THE TUESDAY OCT 17 WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAYOCT17 OCT 9 10pm $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME $3 8pm Showtime NICK WATERHOUSE & THE ALLAH-LAS $15 ADV 9PM $12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME CHUCK'N'BUCK DSL + DJ BEYONDA KARAOKE WITH A LIVE BAND FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS ! S H O W WE $10 ADV open mic comedy with hostess dirt starr love NI FRIDAY OCT 12 $15 ADV 9PM SATURDAY OCT 13 $12 ADV 9:30PM JEFF THE BROTHERHOOD SATURDAY OCT 20 $12 ADV 9:30PM MIKE THRASHER PRESENTS DIARRHEA PLANT & MOLDY CASTLE 10/3 Super Desu + Mad Moniker 10/4 MBRASCATU 10/5 American Bastard 10/6 House Of Floyd 10/7 Sinferno Cabaret 10/8 Karaoke From Hell 10/9 Chuck-n-Buck Show 10/12 Mystic Mirage 10/13 Jeff The Brotherhood 10/14 Sinferno + Voodoo Organist 10/17 Rosie Flores & Marti Brom 10/18 The Hyde & Cheap Time 10/19 Three Bad Jacks 10/20 Hell's Belles 10/21 Miss Kennedy's Cabaret & Sinferno Cabaret 10/25 Army Navy 10/26 Zombie Rockfest 10/27 Heaven & Hell Ball 10/31 Lukas Nelson 11/2 Rev. Peyton's Big Damn Band 11/3 Cash'd Out 11/10 Two Cow Garage 11/14 Rebirth Brass Band 11/15 Spittin' Cobras 12/1 Cherry Poppin' Daddies 12/2 Mickey Avalon 12/8 Hillstomp 12/13 Corrosion of Conformity 12/15 High On Fire TICKETS AVAILABLE @ DANTE'S, STAR THEATER AND WWW.DANTESLIVE.COM COMING SOON FRIDAY OCT 12 THURSDAY OCT 18 THURSDAYOCT18 19 FRIDAY OCT OCT19 SATURDAY OCT 20 SATURDAYOCT20 SATURDAY OCT 25 SATURDAYOCT25 PORTLAND FAMOUS ! JEFF THE BROTHERHOOD OCT 26 FRIDAY OCT26 10/3 Super Desu + Mad Moniker 10/4 MBRASCATU 10/5 American Bastard 10/6 House Of Floyd 10/7 Sinferno Cabaret 10/8 Karaoke From Hell 10/9 Chuck-n-Buck Show 10/12 Mystic Mirage $15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME 10/13 Jeff The Brotherhood 10/14 Sinferno + Voodoo Organist 10/17 Rosie Flores & Marti Brom 10/18 The Hyde & Cheap Time MIKE 10/19 Three Bad Jacks THRASHER 10/20 Hell's Belles PRESENTS $15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME 10/21 Miss Kennedy's Cabaret & Sinferno Cabaret 10/25 Army Navy 10/26 Zombie Rockfest OCT 13 10/27 Heaven & Hell Ball 10/31 Lukas Nelson $12 ADV $5 COVER - LATE SHOW 10PM SHOWTIME 9:30PM 11/2 Rev. Peyton's Big Damn Band 11/3 Cash'd Out MIKE THRASHER F 11/10 Two Cow Garage S O PRESENTS NER TALENT AND VARIETY CONTEST WIN 11/14 Rebirth Brass Band LY F R A B ! 11/15 Spittin' Cobras DS 3A WAR 12/1 Cherry Poppin' Daddies 12/2 Mickey Avalon 12/8 Hillstomp 12/13 Corrosion of Conformity $15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME 12/15 High On Fire DIARRHEA PLANT & MOLDY CASTLE COMING SOON & THU TRIBUTE TO HERBIE JOEY PORTER'S HANCOCK FRI $15 ADV SAT SAT OMAR RODRIGUEZ-LOPEZ GROUP SATURDAY $15 ADV O SAT SAT P $5 CO TA FRIDAY NOV 2 $10 ADV 9:30PM REV. PEYTONS WE GOT THE MEAT & NINJA WEDNESDAY NOV 14 $17 ADV 9PM BIG DAMN BAND 26 THE KING FRIDAY OCT OCT26 OF SURF GUITAR FRIDAY REV. PEYTONS NOV 2 $12 ADV 9:30PM $20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME PUTINA R RASPUTINA R RAS TICKETS AVAILABLE @ DANTE'S, STAR THEATER AND WWW.DANTESLIVE.COM FRI $15 ADV SATURDAY OCT 20 WITH FAUN FABLES WE GOT THE MEAT & NINJA FRI SUNDAY DEC 2 $20 ADV 8PM THURSDAY DEC 13 $18 ADV 9PM MICKEY AVALON REBIRTH BRASS BAND NOV 14 SHOWS MORE $17 ADV 9PM BIG DAMN BAND D DICK DALE REBIRTH $10 ADV 9:30PM $20 ADV WEDNESDAY SAVIOURS YOB & SATURDAY DEC 15 $16 ADV 9:30PM WITH GOATWHORE & LO-PAN OCT 4 - BARFLY PRESENTS ELVIS' 50TH BIRTHDAY BASH OCT 5 - WAX TAILOR OCT 10 - AFICIONADO + MIXTAPES + CITIZEN WED OCT 11 - IO ECHO OCT 12 - RITCHIE SPICE OCT 13 & MBRASCATU DEC 2 - BERGERETTE OCT 17 - NICK WATERHOUSE & THE ALLAH-LAS + BEYONDA $20 ADV OCT 18 - ROCKY 8PMHORROR PASTIE SHOW OCT 19 - JOEY PORTER'S HERBIE HANCOCK TRIBUTE OCT 20 - OMAR RODRIGUEZ-LOPEZ GROUP OCT 21 - DILANA OCT 25 - 8PM EARLY SHOW - JUDGEMENT DAY OCT 25 - 10PM LATE SHOW - PORTLAND FAMOUS OCT 26 - RASPUTINA & FAUN FABLES & DEC27 13 OCT - MOULIN ROUGE SING-A-LONG $18 ADV OPERA'S TRANSYLVANIAN VOODOO BALL OCT 31 - VAGABOND SAVIOURS 9PM NOV 2 - POLYRHYTHMICS & RADULA NOV 3 - MR. GNOME NOV 6 - 8MM NOV 8 - SIGN OF THE BEAST BURLESQUE NOV 9 - MARK EITZEL OF AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB DEC 15- EARLY SHOW 7PM - BEN SOLLEE NOV 10 $16SHOW ADV NOV 10 - LATE 10PM - PROJECT NEUROTICA 9:30PM NOV 16 - ROSEHIP REVUE NOV 23 - NICHOLE COOPER & THE JAM CD RELEASE WITH GOATWHORE & LO-PAN NOV 28 - DICK DALE SUNDAY THURSDAY MICKEY AVALON BRASS BAND TICKETS AVAILABLE AT STAR THEATER, DANTE'S AND WWW.STARTHEATERPORTLAND.COM MO YOB SATURDAY OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC OC NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIRD &BURNSIDE DOWNTOWN PORTLAND � 503-226-4666 FOR PICK-UP ORDERS THIRD &BURNSIDE DOWNTOWN PORTLAND � 503-226-4666 FOR PICK-UP ORDER 28 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 D IL A N A D IL A DILANA DILA $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT 9PM SHOWTIME SUNDAY OCT 21 STAR THEATER UP&COMING THIS WEEK'S MUSIC PREVIEWS 503.288.3895 3939 N. Mississippi firstname.lastname@example.org Nanotear Presents Fall Into Darkness 2012: Drawing inspiration from metal, doom, and folk, these bands create a dark genre all their own CRYSTAL FIGHTERS, 8pm 6/2 doors/ Wonder Ballroom, 9pm show BarBar all ages until 9pm 21+ unless otherwise noted CALOBO Crystal Ballroom, 10/5 JASON QUIGLEY WORM OUROBOROS Nanotear Presents Fall Into Darkness 2012: Cinematic soundscapes of drone metal, avant prog, and the experimental wolvserpent VHOL BELL WITCH EIGHT BELLS THURSDAY 10/4 ELVIS TURNS 50 (Star Theater, 13 NW 6th) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. WOODEN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND, STILL CAVES, AU DUNES (Barlow Tavern, 6008 N Greeley) Hot holy jeezums, Wooden Indian Burial Ground's new, self-titled record is it. The Portland four-piece hammers out jumping-bean psychedelic garage boogie that's jam-packed with yips, rips, trips, flips, and more unnecessary feedback than an employee evaluation card. Wooden Indian Burial Ground doesn't have a single dull moment on it, whether it be from the full-throttle shredfest of opener "Helicopter," the damaged military three-step of "Waltz for Eldritch," the blunted caravan roll of "Bryant St. Death Cult," or the wah-wah-strewn horror-movie theme of album closer "A Long Way from Cerrillos." With this record, Wooden Indian Burial Ground have squealed and moaned their way to the upper echelon of West Coast psych--a crowded and competitive field, to say the least. To raise money for a cross-country trip to CMJ, they're playing a record release show at Barlow Tavern, the revamped new spot (formerly the Corner Spot Tavern) brought to you by the good folks from Vendetta. NED LANNAMANN and identity. In reality though, SOOA may have faded from my consciousness were it not for Chasny's affiliation with Comets on Fire, the face-melting psychedelic band whose depressingly long hiatus effectively ended with this year's Ascent. In name, it's an SOOA album, but the huge sound, drawn-out solos, and sonic stoniness fill the aural gap where a long-awaited Comets on Fire album should be, and each band's lineup is coterminous with the other. Ascent also marks a meaningful--and by now expected--departure from SOOA's 2011 release, Asleep on the Floodplain, a gorgeously sparse album in which Chasny played every last instrument himself. REBECCA WILSON Fri, Oct 5 / FREE SHOW! SUBROSA WILD HUNT ARANYA Sun, Oct 7 $10 Adv The band debuts songs from their latest album, Tucson, an expansive country-rock opera Giant Giant Sand FLASH FLOOD AND THE DIKES Monqui Presents: A Scottish quintet of orchestral-tinged songs with a lauded album, Tree Bursts in Snow Admiral Fallow Young BuFFAlo BULLETS OR BALLOONS, OUTER SPACE HEATERS, IN PUBLIC VIEW (Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy) Olympia trio Bullets or Balloons reside in the sort of free-for-all punk-rock mish-mash first explored by the Minutemen, and later fIREHOSE--all three bands basking in temporal timesignature noodling and noose-tight riffs. Not surprisingly, the band recently opened for Mike Watt and his Missingmen in Spokane. But while the resemblance between the two bands is an easy distinction, Bullets or Balloons is also clearly a conglomeration of varying influences. Their self-titled debut carries bold musical choices, like the instrumental, bass-led track "Number 2," which is followed by the speak-sung political progpunk tune "GNR," barked in homage to readymade tuneless vocalists like Spencer Moody. With this kind of open-book experimentalism, there are some downright strange avenues explored, too ("Relapsecore"), but the vast majority of the material coming from the trio so far is extremely provocative, and a promising bastion for Northwest punk. RYAN J. PRADO Mon, Oct 8 7pm Doors/8pm Show $13 Adv Tue, Oct 9 $10 Adv Gorgeous, harmony-rich folk-pop songs from a duo of acoustic prestidigitation THE MILK CARTON KIDS A vivacious L.A. duo deemed L.A.'s best band reunite and return with a new album, Making It LESLIE STEVENS STEW& THE NEGRO PROBLEM Thu, Oct 11 GRIZZLY BEAR, LOWER DENS (Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay) Brooklyn quartet Grizzly Bear have maintained their long-held status as indie-rock royalty the old-fashioned way--by releasing beautifully composed, arranged, and produced albums that reward repeat listens. Shields, their latest, takes a step back from the brighter, upbeat sound on 2009's celebrated Veckatimest, but offers the same kind of complex textures and song structures for listeners to get lost in. The band isn't all mixing/mastering tricks, and they have the instrumental and vocal chops to make their stuff sound even better live. The spacious Keller Auditorium offers an ideal setting to sit back and let the new album material, and probably some old favorites, soak in. MIKE RAMOS Wed, Oct 10 SUZANNE TUFAN $20 Adv Mostly Seated. 200 TIX AVAIL. $14 Adv Eerily somber acoustic songs to kraut-rock inspired fugues from a band celebrating the release of Bend Beyond 7pm Doors/8pm Show FRIDAY 10/5 EAT SKULL THE WOOLEN MEN ERIC WOODS WRECKLESS AND AMY RIGBY Sat, Oct 13 An avant-garde Johnny and June. -Houston Press STREETCAR MOBILE MUSIC FEST (Various locations) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. FALL INTO DARKNESS: WORM OUROBOROS, SUBROSA, WILD HUNT, ARANYA (Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) The music of ethereal doom unit Worm Ouroboros moves at a glacial pace; and even though it won't necessarily level listeners with merciless riffs or vocals that sound like they come from the bowels of Hades, there's still something dark and eerie about the Bay Area trio's second LP, Come the Thaw. A lot of that has to do with core members Jessica Way and Lorraine Rath, whose vocals float over guitars that are more often spartan and elegant than caked in sludge. The band helps kick off the three-night Fall into Darkness fest, which assembles heavies from all over the country. Also playing tonight's free show are locals Aranya (featuring Witch Mountain vocalist Uta Plotkin), Salt Lake doomsters SubRosa, and Wild Hunt from the East Bay. Bone-crushing--minus the broken bones. ML Also see My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. Fri, Oct 12 $12 Adv THE PSYCHEDELIC FURS, THE CHEVIN (Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) The first two Psychedelic Furs albums--1980's The Psychedelic Furs and 1981's Talk Talk Talk --stand as towering monuments of British post-punk. This was rock shot through with world-weary cynicism, a haggard descendent of glam that had disgustedly thrown off the glitter, platform boots, and feather boas, accruing deep pathos in the process. The Furs' first LP rivals anything done by Echo and the Bunnymen or Joy Division for melodic grandeur and lyrical gravitas, but 1982's Forever Now marked a slow, increasingly sugary decline. Still, those earlier songs should form the nucleus of a strong set. And Richard Butler's cancerous croon remains one of rock's most distinctive sounds. DAVE SEGAL 6pm Doors/7pm Show $10 Adv A visually explosive dance party ranging from booty bass to soul to reggae to rock MRS QUEEN OF THE TIGER HOUSE Sun, Oct 14 Woodchuck Cider Sweet-n-Local Presents: Joyful pop from Portland favorites DAMNED Sat, Oct 13 GUEST DJ AUTOMATON (LA) DJ BEYONDADOUBT DJ ILL CAMINO PAPER BRAIN STEPKID 10pm Doors/10pm Show $5 Adv $5 Adv LAETITIA SADIER, ORCA TEAM (Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water) "There Is a Price to Pay for Freedom (And It Isn't Security)," from Laetitia Sadier's second solo outing Silencio, is a mouthful of a song that brings futuristic lounge to good ol' politically divided 2012. While the former Stereolab frontwoman does get in a few political barbs here and there, she's also preoccupied with making pop music that is lush and dramatic. Stereolab did it for more than a decade, offering twee-minded folks a little lyrical sustenance so they didn't have to resort to Rage Against the Machine or Bad Religion. And while things don't always look so bright in her songs, Sadier will at least keep Stereolab hangers-on happy for the time being. MARK LORE CALOBO, LEWI LONGMIRE BAND (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Do you remember Calobo? Through the '90s, the roots-rock band toured up and down the West Coast and sold 100,000 records without the help of an outside label. They broke up in 2001, but they're reuniting for three Northwest shows, including one at their old Portland stomping ground, the Crystal Ballroom. It's worth mentioning the reunion for its own merits, but if you don't remember Calobo, perhaps you know some of the famous Portland bands that descended from it: Bassist Nate Query and keyboardist Jenny Conlee went on to join the Decemberists and Black Prairie, and guitarist/mandolinist/vocalist Caleb Klauder is a lynchpin of Foghorn Stringband and the Caleb Klauder Country Band. Calobo--rounded out by guitarist/vocalist David Andrews, drummer Brian Bucolo, guitarist Kenneth Erlick, and vocalist Michelle Van Kleef--has an immaculate pedigree, and tonight's a not-to-be-repeated-anytimesoon opportunity for bereft fans to revisit one of the most important Oregon bands of the '90s. Chances are, Calobo will earn some new fans as well. NL A triple-threat artist -- a gifted singer, superb songwriter, and skillful guitarist, Merritt returns with a superb new album, Traveling Alone Tift MERRITT AMY COOK BATTLEME Tue, Oct 16 FREE SHOW! 11/1: PETUNIA & THE VIPERS 11/2: THE YOUNG EVILS 11/3: OLD LIGHT / HUNGRY GHOST 11/4: THE HENRY CLAY PEOPLE 11/5: CINEBITCH 11/6: SOPHIE BARKER (Of Zero 7) 11/7: THOSE DARLINS 11/8: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIM! 11/8: JD SAMSON & MEN 11/9: TRANS AM OPBMUSIC Presents PDX/RX: Powerful hooks and bottom heavy grooves from a PDX favorite XDS MONOPLANE Mon, Oct 15 7pm Doors/8pm Show Coming Soon... 10/16: JEREMY MESSERSMITH (Bar Bar Apt.) 10/17: KAKI KING 10/18: STEPHEN KELLOGG AND THE SIXERS 10/19: SPIRIT LAKE (Record Release) 10/20: HOWLIN RAIN 10/21: RUSTED ROOT 10/22: WILLIS EARL BEAL $16 Adv SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE, LOW HUMS, COLOSSAL YES (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Despite Ben Chasny's mercurial nerdiness, I've always liked Six Organs of Admittance. Emotionally, I ascribe this to the fact that the band came into existence at the same time I became an adult, and it's comforting to hear that somebody else also experiences frequent fluctuations in mood 10/23: THE WHIGS 10/24: ALLEN STONE 10/25: ALLEN STONE 10/26: WEINLAND (Record Release) 10/27: WEINLAND (Record Release) 10/28: AARON NIGEL SMITH (Early) 10/28: PAPER BIRD (Late) 10/30: GARY WAR 10/31: THE MIRACLES CLUB / MIDNIGHT MAGIC mississippistudios.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 29 30 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 UP&COMING THIS WEEK'S MUSIC PREVIEWS THE XX, JOHN TALABOT (Roseland, 8 NW 6th) See Music, pg. 27. THE SHAKY HANDS, KYLE MORTON, ILLMACULATE & G_FORCE, POINT JUNCTURE WA, & MORE (Backspace, 115 NW 5th & Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th) Something pretty exciting happens when two people who have dedicated themselves to cultivating the Portland music scene decide to throw a party. Arya Imig (booker, writer, band manager) is having a birthday and Casey Jarman is gracefully stepping down from his meaningful and influential post at the music editor desk at the other Portland weekly. As they get all sappy celebrating another year of change and things to come, I will be reaping the benefits of their accumulated knowledge and effort, in the form of tonight's really rad, two-venue show. Illmaculate & G_Force and Point Juncture, WA will each play their fan-favorite albums, The Green Tape and Heart to Elk, from start to finish, and the Shaky Hands play a reunion show! A must-see event for anyone who wants a recap of what's been happening in local music over the last few years. ROCHELLE HUNTER MECCA NORMAL, AMENTA ABIOTO, REBECCA GATES (Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate) I'm not merely indulging sentimentality here when I write that the all-ages music scene in Portland sure isn't what it used to be. By "used to be," I'm referring to a mere couple of years ago--in hindsight, venues like the defunct Chaos Caf�, Satyricon, and the Artistery seemed almost too good to be true, and the number of houses receptive to hosting shows has ostensibly decreased significantly since then as well, leaving very little options for those under 21. So this is great news: all-ages shows are now being held at the Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center building through the stalwart Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls, and the kickoff show--which is also curated by the camp--features progenitorial indie rock duo Mecca Normal as headliner. See you there! MORGAN TROPER LLOYD ALLEN SR. (Blue Diamond, 2016 NE Sandy) Blue Diamond typically hosts free live music on their cramped corner stage Friday nights. Rarely, however, is it as engaging as when the legendary Lloyd Allen Sr. and his revolving-cast backing band sets up. Veterans of Portland's Waterfront Blues Festival are no doubt in the know regarding Allen Sr., a charming, smartly dressed blues practitioner with over six decades of performance time logged in and around Portland. He began his performance career at age 13 with the Vibratones in the '50s at yesteryear hotspots like Paul's Paradise, then later as one-quarter of '00s blues foursome the Cannonballs. Allen's guitar and vocal chops have yielded opening slots for the likes of B.B. King, Dinah Washington, and more. You can find out why for free this Friday; don't be surprised if you get a tableside visit by Allen Sr. himself. RJP ALANIS MORISSETTE (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) I want you to know, that I'm hap-py for you. I wish nothing but. The best. For. You both. An older version of me, is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently, and would she have your ba-by? I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother. Gjjedebu bedbede jjje je de deaux jeded debejedeba ba pa open wide. No! Nenebettie ma deepene neh da deh deh debejedebe bedebey until you died! 'Til you died! And you're still alive! DAVE COULIER sat. thurs. fri. 10/6 10/4 10/5 spellcaster, zoobombs shivas death blo, (from japan) dude city, die time, nostalgia, here come gladius super rocks dots check out original horror movie posters during the entire month of halloween!! RANDOM, MR MIRANDA, DJ DN3, MOUSE POWELL, CLOUDY OCTOBER, DESTRO (Ted's, 231 SW Ankeny) Arizona via Philadelphia emcee Random first gained national attention with his 2007 release Mega Ran, a musical nod to the Mega Man videogame series. The album was so successful in the nerdcore community that it landed him a licensing agreement with a videogame company as well as exposure in mainstream national press. Random still uses the alias Mega Ran to this day, despite the fact that his lyrics are too stylistically diverse to be defined as strictly nerdcore. Case in point: "I came to fi x the game like Dick Bavetta." A former teacher, Random is just as likely to reference Kafka or spit a bar about Simon & Schuster and Random House as he is videogames. He's certainly the only rapper I know with the commendable distinction of having a percentage of sales from his latest release, River City Random, benefiting an anti-bullying organization. RYAN FEIGH THE MALDIVES, CELILO, SARA JACKSON-HOLMAN (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) I first heard the Maldives in Brooklyn, at a time when my heart ached for the Pacific Northwest. It was just a few weeks short of three years ago, and they were buried in the middle of a CMJ showcase, not a situation that facilitates being noticed. But I found that the Maldives sounded like my homesickness (and not at all like an atoll in the Indian Ocean). They reminded me of the Band--I thought that frontman Jason Dodson even looked like young Levon Helm--and I was impressed by the sound and energy of their many members. Steeped in the banjo-driven melancholy of the Northwest, the Maldives nevertheless totally rock, especially live. Muscle for the Wing, out this month, showcases their skill as tellers of big, sad tales, as well as the maturity and timelessness of their variety of roots rock. RW MONDAY 10/8 THEE OH SEES, SIC ALPS (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22, and Music, pg. 24. ZOOBOMBS, NOSTALGIA, SUPER ROCKS (East End, 203 SE Grand) Hey, listen up! Zoobombs-- who've been around since 1994--are coming all the way from Tokyo to play for you at ye olde East End. Their bluesy experimental punk is heavily influenced by Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, and also by vintage Sonic Youth. They've opened for Jon Spencer, in fact, and the Flaming Lips, too. Zoobombs don't use setlists, and bring an energetic, unpredictable chaos to their live sets. They know what to do, and now they just need you. KELLY O JUSTIN BIEBER, CARLY RAE JEPSEN (Rose Garden, 1 Center Ct) Some people might be furious they couldn't score tickets to tonight's sold-out Justin Bieber/Carly Rae Jepsen concert. NOT... ME. While my extended case of "Bieber Fever" has been well documented (along with many unfair accusations of pedophilia), I am OVER "Das Biebs." Why? Because he was a talented underdog who achieved glory without any help from Ryan Seacrest--and now? He's like, super popular and 18 years old. BLECHH!! (Did you hear he recently puked onstage? He was throwing up his remaining innocence.) Now I'm obsessed with his bill-mate Carly Rae Jepson, whose number-one summer jam "Call Me Maybe" is the most awesome... wait. This just in: I don't like her anymore either. She's popular and old. Next piece of meat, please! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY SATURDAY 10/6 FALL INTO DARKNESS: SAINT VITUS, WEEDEATER, SOURVEIN, EPHEMEROS (Branx, 320 SE 2nd) Another of the countless reasons why metal is the greatest form of musical expression on earth is that there is no need for a changing of the guard. Old bands are always relevant, even if what they are presently producing could slip anywhere into their discography. Lillie: F-65, the most recent slab from Saint Vitus, has the same crawling, stripped-down doom fans have been hearing since 1984. Dave Chandler's licks, tone, and depraved lyrics are spot on, and Scott "Wino" Weinrich's voice hasn't aged a smidge. The fact that Vitus hasn't changed or evolved much in their time doesn't make Lillie bad or boring, and it doesn't mean that bands like Weedeater, Sourvein, and Ephemeros don't still owe them a debt of gratitude, it just means Vitus has still got it. They may have been born some time ago, but thankfully they are still here standing proud with future generations of doom. ARIS WALES Also see My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. TUESDAY 10/9 THEE OH SEES, SIC ALPS (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22, and Music, pg. 24. WEDNESDAY 10/10 DOLOREAN (LaurelThirst Public House, 2958 NE Glisan) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. TIN HOUSE RELEASE: GOLDEN RETRIEVER, CLOAKS (Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. SUNDAY 10/7 GOSSIP, MAGIC MOUTH, BONNIE MONTGOMERY (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) See Music, pg. 24. FALL INTO DARKNESS: WOLVSERPENT, VHOL, BELL WITCH, EIGHT BELLS (Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. Full Bar & Menu Until 2:30am! Happy Hour 2�8pm 7days a week 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 503-239-1143 THEESATISFACTION, KINGDOM CRUMBS (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) See Music, pg. 27. October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 31 Pink Floyd TribuTe squarepegconcerts.com House of Floyd sat This saturday october 6 dante's 1 SW 3rd ave � PorTland, or 8:30Pm ShoW � 21 and over TickeTS aT SaFeWay/TickeTSWeST charge by Phone 503-224-TiXX 3017 Se milWaukie ave � PorTland, or 7:30Pm ShoW � all ageS TickeTS aT all TickeTmaSTer locaTionS charge by Phone 1-800-745-3000 sunday october 7 aladdin theatre sun This & lucy schwartz tues oct 16 crystal ballroom 1332 W burnSide � PorTland, or � 7:30Pm ShoW � all ageS TickeTS aT caScade TickeTS charge by Phone 855-caS-TiXX X2 alSo aT crySTal ballroom boX oFFice 3017 Se milWaukie ave � PorTland, or 7:30Pm ShoW � all ageS TickeTS aT all TickeTmaSTer locaTionS charge by Phone 1-800-745-3000 sunday nov 10 aladdin theatre 170 high ST Se � Salem, or 7:30Pm ShoW � all ageS TickeTS aT SaFeWay/TickeTSWeST locaTionS charge by Phone 503-224-TiXX thursday nov 15 elsinore theater Straight No Chaser tuesday november 27 arlene schnitzer concert hall 1037 SW broadWay � PorTland, or 8:00Pm ShoW � all ageS TickeTS aT all TickeTmaSTer locaTionS charge by Phone 1-800-745-3000 DADDIES saturday dec 1 dante's 1 SW 3rd ave � PorTland, or 8:30Pm ShoW � 21 & over TickeTS aT SaFeWay/TickeTSWeST charge by Phone 503-224-TiXX Cherry Poppin' & henry at war saturday december 15 mississippi studios 3939 n miSSiSSiPPi ave � PorTland, or 8:30Pm ShoW � 21 & over TickeTS aT SaFeWay/TickeTSWeST locaTionS charge by Phone 503-224-TiXX 32 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 LIVE MUSIC THURSDAY 10/4 ALADDIN THEATER--The Psychedelic Furs, The Chevin, 8 pm, $30 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Ron Pope, Jerad Finck, Josh Putnam, 8 pm, $12-15 AL'S DEN--Woody Pines, 7 pm, free ANDINA--Tracy Kim, 8 pm ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL--Natalie Merchant, Oregon Symphony, 7:30 pm, $35-100, all ages ARTICHOKE MUSIC--Acoustic Village, 7 pm, $5 ASH STREET SALOON--Sleight of Hand, Lucky Beltran, Pure Dad, 9:30 pm, $5 BARLOW TAVERN--Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Still Caves, Au Dunes, 8 pm BIDDY MCGRAW'S--John Ross, 9 pm BLUE DIAMOND--Ben Jones, 9 pm BLUE MONK--Alan Jones, 8 pm BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE--Dan Duval Duo, 5:30 pm BUNK BAR--Laetitia Sadier, Orca Team, 9 pm, $10-12 CORKSCREW WINE BAR--Joseph Appel, 8 pm; Gumbo Americana, 8 pm CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Glen Hansard, Lost Brothers, 8 pm, $30, all ages DANTE'S--Mbrascatu, 8 pm, free DOUG FIR--Six Organs of Admittance, Low Hums, Colossal Yes, 9 pm, $12 DUFF'S GARAGE--Tough Love Pyle, 6 pm, $2; Jake Blair Band, 9 pm EAST END--Spellcaster, Death Blo, Die Time, Gladius, 9 pm EAT: AN OYSTER BAR--Steve Cheseborough, 7 pm EDGEFIELD--Andrew Woodworth, 7 pm, free THE ELIXIR LAB--Johnny D's Community Jam, 7 pm ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Autronic Eye, The Ecology, The Subterranean Howl, 9 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN--Sam Densmore, Zac Zerzan, 9 pm, free GOODFOOT--Philly's Phunkestra, 9 pm, $6 GRAND CAFE/ANDREA'S CHA CHA CLUB--Pilon d'Azucar Salsa Band, 9:30 pm HALIBUT'S--Terry Robb, 8 pm, free HEATHMAN--Johnny Martin, 7 pm HOLOCENE--Dubais, The Crow, Stepkid, Super Cardigan Brothers, Ill Camino, 8:30 pm, free IVORIES--Anandi, Randy Porter, 8 pm, $7 JAM ON HAWTHORNE--Hot Club of Hawthorne, 5 pm, free JIMMY MAK'S--Wahid, 6:30 pm, $5; Mel Brown B3 Organ Band, 8 pm, $5 KELLER AUDITORIUM--Grizzly Bear, Lower Dens, 8 pm, $36.25-39.50, all ages KELLS--Bill Tollner, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Tyler Keene, Jason Gray, Michael Griffith, Lawton Browning, Ross McLeron, 9 pm, free KENNEDY SCHOOL--Kathryn Claire, 6 pm, free, all ages LANDMARK SALOON--Johnny Credit & the Cash Machine, 6 pm; Ruby Feathers, 9 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Lewi Longmire Band, 6 pm; Lone Madrone, McDougall, 9:30 pm, $5 LV'S--Gretchen Mitchell, 9 pm MISSION THEATER--Dirty Three, Scout Niblett, 8 pm, $25 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--White Fort, 9 pm MUSIC MILLENNIUM--Lost Brothers, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Worth, 6 pm, free, all ages PLAN B--Spectral Tombs, Druden, Infernal Stronghold, Barrowlands, 8 pm QUIMBY'S AT 19TH--Chris Baum Project, 9 pm, free RED ROOM--Secnd Best, Chase the Shakes, Eken Is Dead, Faithless Saints, 9 pm, $5 THE REFECTORY--I Digress, Tempest Theory, 8 pm, free ROSELAND--Awolnation, Imagine Dragons, Zeale, 8 pm, $20, all ages ROTTURE--Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger, Torches, Rare Monk, 9 pm, $5 THE SECRET SOCIETY--Libertine Belles, 6 pm; Anne Weiss, Beth Wood, Laura Kemp, Mare Wakefield, 8 pm, $15 SLABTOWN--Those Bottom Feeders, Invivo, Eyepennies, 9 pm, free SLIM'S--Joe McMurrian, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--The Dookie Jam: Doo Doo Funk All-Stars, 9 pm, free STAR THEATER--Elvis Turns 50: Snow Bud & the Flower People, Ad Visory, Pillowfight, Honus Huffhines, The Gnash, Whorehounds, 9 pm THE TARDIS ROOM--Noah Peterson, 8 pm TED'S--Centaurs of Attention, The Jelly Project, Deb, 9:30 pm, $5 TIGER BAR--Karaoke from Hell, 9:30 pm, free TONIC LOUNGE--Bullets or Balloons, Outer Space Heaters, In Public View, 9:30 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Sing For Your Supperclub: AllStar Horns, 7:30 pm, $10 TWILIGHT CAFE & BAR--The Lovely Lost, JAMF, 8:30 pm, $3 VIE DE BOHEME--Loose Change, 7 pm, free WHITE EAGLE--The Brothers of the Hound, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Six60, B�isbol, 8:30 pm, $9.99 WONDER BALLROOM--Ben Howard, 8 pm, $17.50-20, all ages FRIDAY 10/5 ALADDIN THEATER--Greg Brown, 8 pm, $30 ALBERTA STREET PUBLIC HOUSE--Mikey's Irish Jam Session, 6:30 pm AL'S DEN--Woody Pines, 7 pm, free ANDINA--JB Butler, 8 pm ARTICHOKE MUSIC--Friday Night Coffeehouse, $5, all ages ASH STREET SALOON--Benefit Show for Scotty Joe: My New Vice, No Red Flags, MDC Unplugged, End Notes, Plus Elvis, 9:30 pm, $5 BACKSPACE--The Shaky Hands, And And And, Taco Neck, Your Rival, Holiday Friends, Radiation City DJs, 8 pm, $6, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Lynn Conover, 6 pm, all ages BLUE DIAMOND--Lloyd Allen Sr., 9 pm BLUE MONK--Bridgetown Sextet, 9 pm BOOM BAP!--Jonathan Pfeffer, Jeremy Rourke, Like a Villain, Ryan Miller, 8 pm BRANX--Rum Rebellion, Hammered Grunts, P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S., Defect Defect, Barbarian Riot Squad, 7:30 pm BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE--The Martens Combination, 8 pm BUFFALO GAP--Throwback Suburbia, The Wellingtons, 8 pm, free BURGERVILLE--The Usual Suspects, 6:30 pm, free, all ages CAMELLIA LOUNGE--Andre St. James, 8 pm, $6 CANVAS ART BAR--Open Mic: Steve Huber, 7 pm, free, all ages CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Calobo, Lewi Longmire Band, 9 pm, $18-20, all ages DANTE'S--American Bastard, 9 pm, $6 DOUG FIR--The Maldives, Celilo, Sara JacksonHolman, 9 pm, $8-10 DUFF'S GARAGE--The Hamdogs, 6 pm, $2; Shanghai Woolies, 9 pm EAST BURN--Andrews Ave, Cascadia Soul Alliance, 10 pm EAST END--Zoobombs, Nostalgia, Super Rocks, 9 pm EDGEFIELD--Mark Alan, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Skyburial, The Mercury Tree, Stochastic Mettle Union, Yeti Shaman, 9 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN--Pinehurst Kids, Empire Rocket Machine, The Ransom, 9 pm FOGGY NOTION--The Weak Knees, Ross & The Hellpets, We Speak Bocce, 9 pm, $3 FORD FOOD & DRINK--Eagles of Freedom, 5 pm; Michael Jodell, Matt Brown, 8 pm HALIBUT'S--Suburban Slim, 8 pm, free HAWTHORNE THEATRE--Kingdom Under Fire, Gladius, Bloodoath, Hell's Parish, Sabateur, 7 pm, $8, all ages ISLAND MANA WINES--David & Goliath, 4 pm; Joe Marquand, 4:30 pm IVORIES--The Wishermen, 8 pm, $10 JADE LOUNGE--Whistlepig, Delaney & Paris, 6 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Michael the Blind & the Els, Bradley Wik & The Charlatans, Worth, 8 pm, $8 KATIE O'BRIEN'S--The Tanked, Qwong, Sleeping Weather, Avenue Victor Hugo, 9 pm, free KELLS--Full Shilling, 9:30 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Slutty Hearts, The Dandelions, Buzzyshyface, 9 pm, $5 KENTON CLUB--Rubella Graves, The Happy Childhood, 9 pm THE KNOW--Guantanamo Baywatch, Courtney & The Crushers, Denizenz, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON--Get Rhythm, 9 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--James Low Western Front, 6 pm, free; Baby Gramps, 9:30 pm, $5 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Jenny Sizzler, 6 pm; Krebsic Orkestar, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Fall into Darkness: Worm Ouroboros, Subrosa, Wild Hunt, Aranya, 9 pm, free MOCK CREST TAVERN--Gusto Brothers, 9 pm MT. TABOR THEATER--The Autonomics, Lydian Gray, The Choices, Deb, Matt French, 8:30 pm, $6 NEL CENTRO--Mike Pardew, 9:30 pm NEW COPPER PENNY--Return Flight, 9:30 pm THE OLD CHURCH--Allen Mathews, 7:30 pm PEOPLE'S CO-OP--The Portland Sacred Harp, 6:30 pm, free PLAN B--Pataha Hiss, No Tomorrow Boys, The Cool Whips, Youthbitch, 8 pm PONDEROSA LOUNGE (AT JUBITZ)--Taylors Crossing, 9 pm, $2-5 PSU LINCOLN PERFORMANCE HALL--Swarmius, 8 pm, $10-15 RECORD ROOM--Ever So Android, Glass Knees, Stepkid, Wolf in the Dream Catcher, 8 pm, $3-5 RED ROOM--AC Lov Ring, The Applicants, Ponykiller, Onyx Guild, 9 pm, $5 ROSELAND--Ed Sheeran, 9 pm, $20, all ages THE SECRET SOCIETY--Boy & Bean, 6 pm, all ages; Brothers Young, 9 pm, $8 LIZ FLYNTZ October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 33 Alberta Rose Theatre Thursday, October 4th + JERAD FINCK & JOSH PUTNAM Saturday, October 6th ARTICHOKE MUSIC PRESENTS ARTICHOKE NIGHTS VOL. 2 CD RELEASE CONCERT Sunday, October 7th RON POPE DAVID CHOI WITH CLARA C Wednesday, October 10th AN ACOUSTIC EVENING WITH JERRY JOSEPH WALTER SALAS-HUMARA Thursday, October 11th AND McKay Saturday, October 13th Nellie SOLO CD RELEASE Sunday, October 14th KELLY JOE PHELPS JOHN MCCUTCHEON Coming Soon 10.17 - HOLLY NEAR 10.18 - PETER MULVEY � KRIS DELMHORST 10.19/20 - NIGHT FLIGHT'S "FRIGHT NIGHT" 10.21 - LUCY KAPLANSKY AN EVENING WITH (503) 764-4131 3000 NE Alberta AlbertaRoseTheatre.com 34 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 LIVE MUSIC SLABTOWN--Green Flag, 9 pm SLIM'S--Gabriel Trees, Garage Rats, Uncle Steve, Smilin' Bill, David Bryan Wilson, Johnny Huck, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Kyle Morton, Illmaculate, G_Force, Point Juncture WA, Chicharones, DJ Nine Inch Nilina, DJ Zone, 8 pm, $6 THE SPARE ROOM--Danny Hay Davis, 9 pm, free STAR THEATER--Wax Tailor, Shana Halligan, 9 pm, $13 THE TARDIS ROOM--Levi Ponce, 9 pm TED'S--Rock 'n' Roll Suicides, The Tomorrow People, Crazy Eyes, 9:30 pm TIGER BAR--The Punctuals, Crazy Like Me, The Glipse Trio, 9 pm, $6 TONIC LOUNGE--Magnetic Health Factory, The Contestants, DJ Noah Fence, Truth or AAAAA!, 9:30 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--The Tony Starlight Show, 8 pm, $15 TRADER VIC'S--Tribute to Frank Sinatra: John English, 5 pm VARIOUS LOCATIONS--Streetcar Mobile Musicfest: Sun Angle, Classical Revolution PDX, Dana Buoy, Jeffrey Jerusalem, Edna Vasquez, Cloudy October, Sassparilla, The New Pioneers, The Ocean Floor, Charts, MC Rose, Josh & Mer, Vikesh Kapoor, What Hearts, Au Dunes, B�isbol, 6 pm, all ages VIE DE BOHEME--Jazz Shack, Belinda Underwood, The Sale WHITE EAGLE--The Reverb Brothers, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; The Spring Standards, Welfare, Evan Way, 9:30 pm, $8 WONDER BALLROOM--Steve Kimock, 8 pm, $25 SATURDAY 10/6 ALADDIN THEATER--Oregon Music Hall of Fame: Everclear, U-Krew, 7 pm, $25-100 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Artichoke Nights Vol. 2: Andy Anderson, Richie Bellinger, Dan Cecil, Pete Ekstam, Robin Greene, Michael Henchman, Martin Hill, Jack Kennedy, Paul Kwetik, Adrian Martin, Tom May, Therese Michaud, Sophie & Tim Davis, The Tummybuckles, Don Wheatley, Alexa Wiley, 8 pm, $15-18 ANDINA--Toshi Onizuka, 8 pm ASH STREET SALOON--Ultra Goat, Alabama Black Snake, Highwater, 9:30 pm, 5pm BACKSPACE--Young Turks, Two Hands, The Great Sabatini, 8 pm, $6, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW'S--The Barkers, 6 pm, all ages; Portland Groove Collective, 9:30 pm BLUE DIAMOND--Amy Keys, 9 pm BLUE MONK--Soul Vaccination, 9 pm BOOM BAP!--Mufassa, Old Age, Ah God, 8:30 pm, $5 BRANX--Fall into Darkness: Saint Vitus, Weedeater, Sourvein, Ephemeros, 9 pm, $12, all ages BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE--Wayward Vessel, 8 pm BUFFALO GAP--Planet Krypton, 9 pm, free DANTE'S--House of Floyd, 8:30 pm, $20-25 DOUG FIR--Wolf Gang, The Royal Concept, Frank + Derol, 9 pm, $11-12 DUFF'S GARAGE--The Fondells Rhythm & Blues Burlesque Review: Johnny Ward, Heidi Hellbender, Victoria Porter, Jerry V, Jon Wallace, 9 pm, $10 EAST END--The Shivas, Dude City, Here Come Dots, 9 pm EDGEFIELD--Dan Haley, 7 pm, free FOGGY NOTION--Almost Dark, Dramady, You, 9 pm, $3 GEMINI LOUNGE--Stack Cats, 9 pm, free GOODFOOT--Freak Mountain Ramblers, Jackstraw, 9 pm, $8 HALIBUT'S--King Louie Trio, 8 pm, free HAWTHORNE HOPHOUSE--Kelsey Morris, 9 pm, free HAWTHORNE THEATRE--Nemesis, American Roulette, Lidless Eye, Ritual Healing, The Suppression, 7 pm, $8, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--Modern Golem, 8:30 pm, $5 HOPHOUSE (NE 15TH)--Ron Hughes, 8:30 pm, free, all ages IVORIES--Best of Friends, 8 pm, $10 JADE LOUNGE--Colin Fisher, Vanessa Rogers, The Just Reverie, Logan Ulavale, 6 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Tribute to the Motown Era: Norman Sylvester, Andy Stokes, La Rhonda Steele, Richard Arnold, 10 pm, $10 KATIE O'BRIEN'S--Rvivr, Divers, Absent Minds, 9 pm, $5 KELLS--Full Shilling, 9:30 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--A Tribute to Tool: School of Rock, 7 pm, free; Tony Smiley, Silverhawk, Irie Idea, Stephanie Scelza, 9 pm, $5 KENTON CLUB--Little Hexes, The Ex-Girlfriends Club, Penifore, 9 pm, free THE KNOW--Edaline, Duck Little Brother Duck, Touchie Feeley, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON--Rachael Rice, 9 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Tree Frogs, 6 pm; Jeff Crosby & The Refugees, Simon Tucker Group, 9:30 pm, $5 LITTLE AXE RECORDS--Dead Western, Pulse Emitter, Barry Walker, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--The Hill Dogs, 6 pm; The Cry, 9 pm MOCK CREST TAVERN--DC Malone, 9 pm MT. TABOR THEATER--Sofia Talvik, Gallon House, Jacob Miller & the Bridge City Crooners, 8:30 pm, $5 NEL CENTRO--Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson, 9:30 pm PONDEROSA LOUNGE (AT JUBITZ)--Hang 'em High, 9 pm, $2-5 THE PRESS CLUB--Sidestreet Reny, 8 pm PSU'S SMITH MEMORIAL STUDENT UNION--Portland State of Mind Concert, 8:30 pm, free RECORD ROOM--Koko Beware, Matt Mayhem, Voices, 8 pm, $3-5 RED ROOM--Sugar Tits, 3 Up 2 Down, Greyside, 9 pm, $5 ROSELAND--Steve Vai, Beverly McClellan, 8 pm, $25-39.50 THE SECRET SOCIETY--Dominic Castillo, 6 pm, all ages SLABTOWN--Runaway Rocket, Supercrow, 9 pm SLIM'S--The Bumpin' Nastys, The Motel Life, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--The Kinky Brothers, Big Mo, Serious Business, Jermaine Malone, DJ Eps, 9 pm, $5 THE TARDIS ROOM--Arthur Moore, 8 pm; The Disappointments, 9 pm TIGER BAR--Staller, 9 pm, $5 TONIC LOUNGE--Dog Tribe, Cast Down, American Wrecking Company, 9 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Midnight Serenaders, 8 pm, $10 TRADER VIC'S--Xavier Tavera's Chamber Orchestra from Cuba, 8 pm TROUT LAKE COUNTRY INN--Garcia Birthday Band, 9 pm, $5 VIE DE BOHEME--J-Cam, 6 pm, free; Laura Stillwell, 8 pm, $6 WHITE EAGLE--The Student Loan, 4:30 pm, free, all ages; Broken Soviet, HillTalks, 9:39 pm, $8 WONDER BALLROOM--Michael Kiwanuka, Foy Vance, 9 pm, $15, all ages SUNDAY 10/7 ALADDIN THEATER--Alfie Boe, 7:30 pm, $30-35 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--David Choi, Clara C, 8 pm, $15-100, all ages AL'S DEN--Bright Archer, 7 pm, free ANDINA--Gretchen Mitchell, 6 pm; Danny Romero, 7 pm ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL--Trains, Trams, Trolleys and More!: Oregon Symphony, 2 pm, $10-36, all ages ASH STREET SALOON--Stepper, Fuzz Huzzi, American Roulette, 9 pm, $5 AUGUSTANA LUTHERAN CHURCH--Augustana Jazz Quartet, 6 pm, free, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Felim Egan, 8 pm CLYDE'S PRIME RIB--Ron Steen Jazz Jam, 8:30 pm, free CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Alanis Morissette, Souleye, 8 pm, $49.50-55, all ages DANTE'S--Sinferno Cabaret, 11 pm DOUG FIR--Bad Books, The Drowning Men, Harrison Hudson, 9 pm, $14-16 EAT: AN OYSTER BAR--Reggie Houston's Box of Chocolates, 11 am EDGEFIELD--Sam Cooper, 5 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Chris Birch, IX, Hauksness, Fleshlawn, 9 pm, $5 FIRKIN TAVERN--Open Mic, 8 pm, free FORD FOOD & DRINK--Tim Roth, Sun, noon, free, all ages GRACE MEMORIAL EPISCOPAL CHURCH--Songs of Lament and Loss: The Ensemble, 3 pm HAWTHORNE THEATRE--From Here to Eternity, She Preaches Mayhem, Censure, Virtues, Whispers of Wonder, 6:30 pm, $8-10, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--Tom Vandenavond, Harmed Brothers, 9 pm, free INTERSTATE FIREHOUSE CULTURAL CENTER-- Mecca Normal, Amenta Abioto, Rebecca Gates, 7 pm, all ages IVORIES--Mousai Remix, 7 pm JADE LOUNGE--Dan Cecil, 6:30 pm KELLS--Irish Session, 6 pm; Danny O'Hanlon, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--The Stolen Sweets, 7 pm, $10 LANDMARK SALOON--Ian Miller, Jake Ray, 5:30 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Dan Haley, Tim Acott, 9:30 pm, free LV'S--Blues, Brews & BBQ, 6 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Seth Myzel, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Fall into Darkness: Wolvserpent, Vhol, Bell Witch, Eight Bells, 9 pm, $10 MOON & SIXPENCE--Foghorn Stringband, free MUDDY RUDDER--Irish Music, 4 pm THE PRESS CLUB--Matt Weiers, Veronica Greene, 7 pm RED ROOM--Chronological Injustice, Raven Eye, Kong at the Gates, 9 pm, $5 ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Dojo Toolkit, 9 pm RONTOMS--Old Kingdom, Modern Lives, 9 pm, free ROSE GARDEN--Carrie Underwood, 7 pm, $43.50-63.50, all ages ROSELAND--The xx, John Talabot, 8 pm, $30, all ages SAT 10/6 - FREAK MOUNTAIN RAMBLERS & JACKSTRAW FRI 10/5 - DJ MAGNETO & FRIENDS THURS 10/4- PHILLY'S PHUNKESTRA, SOPHISTAFUNK WED 10/3 - HENHOUSE PROWLERS, RENEGADE STRING BAND MON - SONIC FORUM - OPEN MIC TUES 10/9 - FREE!!! - KORY QUINN, SIMON TUCKER BAND WED 10/10 - KLOZD SIRKUT THURS 10/11 - THE HACKENSAW BOYS, MIMI NAJA / JAY COBB ANDERSON FRI 10/12 - DJ AQUAMAN'S SOUL STEW SAT 10/13 - SCOTT LAW ELECTRIC BAND w/ Damien Erskine, Russ Keiner TUES 10-16 - FREE!!! KORY QUINN, WILL WEST and the FRIENDLY STRANGERS GOODFOOT 4P 5 PINB OOL TABLES ALL MA CHINES DRINK & DRA EVERY W SUN irs upsta aily d open :30 5-2 airs st down at 9 n ope w nights o on sh 2845 SE STARK * WWW.THEGOODFOOT.COM * 503.239.9292 October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 35 Cocaine Use Problems? Are you addicted to cocaine and have you used opiates in the past year? A voluntary research study is offering 8 weeks of no-cost treatment. Participation may last up to six months. Compensation up to $765. (OHSU eIRB#7431) CODA Research For more information: 503-239-8400 ext. 254 The Original at Is e i v u a S on land Portlandia Maize Sunday - Thursday: 10 a.m. -6 p.m. Friday & Saturday: 10 a.m. - 10 p.m. (5-Acre Cornfield Maze) Haunted Maize Friday & Saturday: 7 P.M. - 10 P.M. Farmin' Fun: Pumpkin Patch, Hayrides, Cow Train, Big Red Animal Barn, Hay Pyramid, Gift Shop and Fresh Produce Market, Patio Cafe www.ThePumpkinPatch,com | Info@ThePumpkinPacth.com | 503-621-3874 www.PortlandMaze.com | Info@PortlandMaze.com | 503-621-7110 36 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 LIVE MUSIC ROTTURE--Public Water: Public Vote!: The Dandy Warhols, Y la Bamba, Marty McQuin, Jeremy Wilson, DJ Anjali, DJ Manoj, The Prids, 1776, The Shivas, The Builders & The Butchers, Guantanamo Baywatch, 1 pm, $10-20 SLIM'S--Suburban Slim, 8 pm, free THE SPARE ROOM--Angel Bouchet Band, 8 pm, free TED'S--Random, Mr Miranda, DJ Dn3, Mouse Powell, Cloudy October, Destro, 9:30 pm UNIVERSITY OF PORTLAND, BUCKLEY CENTER-- Portland Chamber Singers, University of Portland Jazz Band, 7 pm, free WHITE EAGLE--Korby Lenker, 7 pm, free MONDAY 10/8 AL'S DEN--Bright Archer, 7 pm, free ANDINA--Pete Krebs, 7 pm BLUE DIAMOND--Tom Grant, 9 pm CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Youngblood Hawke, Aan, 9 pm, $0.94, all ages DANTE'S--Golden Rule, 8 pm, $2; Karaoke from Hell, 10 pm DOUG FIR--Thee Oh Sees, Sic Alps, 5:30 pm, $13, all ages DUFF'S GARAGE--Susie & the Sidecars, 6 pm EDGEFIELD--Skip vonKuske, 7 pm, free GOODFOOT--Sonic Forum Open Mic, 8 pm, $1 ISLAND MANA WINES--David & Goliath, 4 pm JADE LOUNGE--Salon De Musique: Jaime Leopold, 7 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Dan Balmer, 8 pm, free KENTON CLUB--Dragging an Ox Through Water, Derek Moneypeny, Dead Western, 9 pm, free LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Portland Country Underground, 6 pm, free; Kung Pao Chickens, 9 pm, free MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Mr. Ben, 5 pm, all ages MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Giant Giant Sand, Flash Flood & The Dikes, 8 pm, $13-15 MUDDY RUDDER--Lloyd Jones, 8 pm PORTLAND SPIRIT, PROBABLY--The Jezabels, Y La Bamba, Vagabond Opera, 7 pm, free with tweet (see musicexperiment.com for info) PUB AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE--Open Mic, 8 pm, free QUIMBY'S AT 19TH--Soul Mates, 7 pm RED ROOM--Odyssey, Sarcalogos, Echoic, 8 pm, $3 ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Mt. Air Studios, 10 pm ROSE GARDEN--Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, 7 pm, 39.50-79.50, all ages TIGER BAR--Otto's Daughter, 9 pm, $4; AC Lov Ring, 9 pm WHITE EAGLE--Leo, 8:30 pm, free THE SECRET SOCIETY--Michael Chapman, 8 pm, $12 SHAKER AND VINE--Arthur Moore's Harmonica Party, 8 pm SLIM'S--Open Mic, 9 pm, free TASTE ON 23RD--Brandstson Duo, 6:30 pm, free THIRSTY LION--Eric John Kaiser, 9 pm TIGER BAR--The Sammus Theory, The Big Small, Riverpool, 9 pm, $4 TONY STARLIGHT'S--Ayars Vocal Showcase, 7:30 pm, $7 TWILIGHT CAFE & BAR--Open Mic Night: The Roaming, 8 pm VALENTINE'S--Plumerai, Rllrbll, Coronation, 9 pm VINO VIXENS--Arthur Moore's Harmonica Party, 6 pm WHITE EAGLE--Hutson, Met City, Josh & Mer, 8:30 pm, free WEDNESDAY 10/10 ALADDIN THEATER--The Flatlanders, 8 pm, $27.50-30 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Jerry Joseph, Walter SalasHumara, 8 pm, $10-12 ALBERTA STREET PUBLIC HOUSE--Suck My Open Mic w/Tamara J. Brown, 7:30 pm, free AL'S DEN--Bright Archer, 7 pm, free ANDINA--Jason Okamoto, 7 pm ASH STREET SALOON--Melissa Ivey, The Keplers, Ramune Rocket 3, 9:30 pm, free BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Half-Step Shy Happy Hour: David Gerow, 6 pm, all ages BLUE DIAMOND--The Fenix Project, 9 pm BUFFALO GAP--Andy Stokes, 8 pm, free BURGERVILLE--Crown Point, 6:30 pm, free, all ages CAMELLIA LOUNGE--The Goods Jazz Jam: Errick Lewis & the Regiment House Band, 8:30 pm CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Gossip, Magic Mouth, Bonnie Montgomery, 9 pm, $15-20, all ages DEPOKOS PIZZA--Open Mic, 8 pm, all ages DOUG FIR--THEESatisfaction, Kingdom Crumbs, 9 pm, $12 DUFF'S GARAGE--High Flyers, 6 pm, $2; Suburban Slim's Blues Jam: Suburban Slim, John Neish, Jeff Strawbridge, 9 pm EAST BURN--Irish Music Jam, 7 pm EAST END--Waffle Taco, Lithopedian, Rick Klaras, 9 pm EDGEFIELD--Radical Revolution Duo, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Ed & The Red Reds, Rin Tin Tiger, Bazillionaire, 9 pm, $5 EUGENIO'S--Open Mic, 6:30 pm FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN--Kory Quinn, 9:30 pm GOOD NEIGHBOR PIZZERIA--Open Mic GOODFOOT--Klozd Sirkut, 9 pm HOLOCENE--Tin House: A Slice of Our City: Golden Retriever, Cloaks, 8 pm, $5 ISLAND MANA WINES--David & Goliath, 4 pm IVORIES--Hristo Vitchev, Weber Iago, Christian Tamburr, 8 pm JADE LOUNGE--Renee Muzquiz, 7 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Mel Brown Quartet, 8 pm, $5 THE KNOW--Grave Babies, The Silent Numbers, Vice Device, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON--Bob Shoemaker, 6 pm; Jake Ray & The Cowdogs, 9:30 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Dolorean, 6 pm, free; Taarka Duo, Matt & Kina, 9 pm, $7 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Mr. Hoo, noon, all ages; Stellar's Jay, L.T. Page, 9:30 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Milk Carton Kids, Leslie Stevens, 9 pm, $14-16 O'CONNORS VAULT--Jon Koonce & One More Mile, 8 pm, free PALACE OF INDUSTRY--Mystery Old Time String Band, 7:30 pm THE PRESS CLUB--The Baron Robber, Moniker, 8 pm RED & BLACK CAFE--Right 2 Survive Listening Party, 6 pm RED ROOM--Separatrix, Feral Drollery, Crime Machine, 9 pm, $3; Open Mic, 9 pm ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Jordan Harris, 9 pm ROTTURE--Weregoat, Fornicator, Panzergod, Cemetery Lust, 9:30 pm, $7 THE SECRET SOCIETY--Beso Negro, 9 pm, $8 SLABTOWN--Pink House, Wild Arms, Ninjas With Syringes, 9 pm, $5 SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Hellblinki, Professor Gall, Mono Operandi, 9 pm, $5 STAR THEATER--Aficionado, Mixtapes, Citizen, 8 pm, $10 SUNDOWN PUB--SongWrecker Cabaret, 9 pm TIGER BAR--Otto's Daughter, 9 pm, $4 TONY STARLIGHT'S--Malea, 7:30 pm, $8 TRADER VIC'S--Xavier Tavera's Chamber Orchestra from Cuba, 6 pm WHITE EAGLE--World's Finest, 8:30 pm, free WILF'S--Ron Steen Trio, 7:30 pm, $7 WONDER BALLROOM--Xavier Rudd, 8:30 pm, $22.50-25 TUESDAY 10/9 ALADDIN THEATER--Tom Rush, 8 pm, $25 AL'S DEN--Bright Archer, 7 pm, free ANDINA--JB Butler, 7 pm ASH STREET SALOON--Taint Misbehavin, The Dick Solomons, Scumbucket, 9:15 pm, $4 BLUE DIAMOND--Sportin' Lifers, 9 pm BLUE MONK--Pagan Jug Band, 6:30 pm, free BUNK BAR--Monarques, Sun Angle, 9 pm, $3 CAMELLIA LOUNGE--Jean-Paul DeRoover, 8 pm, $6 DOUG FIR--Thee Oh Sees, Sic Alps, 9 pm, $13 DUFF'S GARAGE--Trio Bravo, 6 pm, $2; Dover Weinberg Quartet, 9 pm, $2 EAST END--Yards, Animism, 9 pm EDGEFIELD--Caleb Klauder, Sammy Lind, 7 pm, free THE ELIXIR LAB--Johnny D's Community Jam, 7 pm FIRKIN TAVERN--Jom Rapstar, 9 pm, free GOODFOOT--Radula, 9 pm, free; Kory Quinn, Simon Tucker, 9 pm HAWTHORNE THEATRE--Imperative Reaction, Ludovico Technique, Everything Goes Cold, The Witch Was Right, 7 pm, $13-15 HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--That Much Further West Radio, 4 pm, free; Rachel Rice, 6 pm, free HOLOCENE--My Heart is an Idiot: Found Magazine Turns 10: Peter Rothbart, 8:30 pm, $10 THE HUTCH--Open Mic, 8 pm, free IVORIES--Jazz Jam: Carey Campbell, Hank Hirsh Trio, 7:30 pm JADE LOUNGE--Cynthia O'Brien, 7 pm LANDMARK SALOON--Sagebrush Sisters, 7 pm, free LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Jackstraw, 6 pm, free LV'S--Ron Steen's Jazz Jam, 8:30 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Biscuits & Gravy, 6 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Admiral Fallow, Young Buffalo, 9 pm, $10 MT. TABOR THEATER--Open Mic Night: Simon Tucker, 8 pm, free PROJECT GROW--Home of Easy Credit, Alyssa ReedStuewe, Jen Knipling, Justin Smith, 8 pm, $5-15, all ages QUIMBY'S AT 19TH--Tom Grant, 8:30 pm, free RED ROOM--Toxic Zombie, Otto's Daughter, Ion Storm, A Killing Dove, 8:30 pm, $6 ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Brothers 'n' Laws, 9 pm ROTTURE--Koffin Kats, The Silver Shrine, 9:30 pm, $10 October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 37 LOW-COST BANKRUPTCY FREE CONSULTATION Kelly K. Brown Bankruptcy attorney www.kellybrown.com 503�224�4124 Bankruptcy attorney since 1983 evening and weekend appointments We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy under the Bankruptcy Code. 520 SW Yamhill � Suite 420 � Portland 97204 Ryan Smiley Bowlen, you will be missed. 38 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 DJ LISTINGS THURSDAY 10/4 BEECH ST. PARLOR--Bill Portland CC SLAUGHTERS--Hiphop Heaven: DJ Alex Hollywood, 9 pm, free CROWN ROOM--Counter Culture, 10 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Request Night: DJ Jens FEZ--Shadowplay: DJ Horrid, DJ Ghoulunatic, DJ Paradox, 9 pm, free GROUND KONTROL--Community LIbrary DJs: DJ Brokenwindow, Strategy, 7 pm JONES--New Jack Swing: Doc Adam, 10 pm, $5 THE KNOW--Dirt Bag: Bruce LaBruiser, DJ Rhienna, 10 pm, free THE LOVECRAFT--Vortex: DJ Kenny, John & Skip, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL--DJ Panty Droppa, free MATADOR--DJ A-Train, 10 pm, free MOLOKO PLUS--King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm NICK'S FAMOUS CONEY ISLAND--Eye Candy: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free PALACE OF INDUSTRY--Kendall Holladay, 7 pm RADIO ROOM--Ghost Train, 9 pm SANTA FE TAQUERIA--Salsa Social SOS: DJ Armando SAUCEBOX--Evan Alexander SLABTOWN--DJ Roxy Epoxy, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Happy Hour: Mr. Romo, DJ Michael Grimes, 4 pm THE SPARE ROOM--DJ Doc Rock, 9 pm, free STAR BAR--DJ Barrett, 10 pm TIGA--DJ Coloured Glass TRADER VIC'S--DJ Drew Groove, 6 pm TUBE--Sethro Tull, 7 pm VAULT--Jams: DJ 60/40 WORKSHOP PUB--Phonographix Video DJs, 9 pm JONES--'80s & '90s Dance Music, 10 pm, $5 THE LOVECRAFT--DJ Miss Prid, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL--DJ Kenoy, free MOLOKO PLUS--King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free MOTHERS VELVET LOUNGE CAFE--Mr. Mumu PALACE OF INDUSTRY--DJ James Murphy, 7 pm ROTTURE--Andaz: DJ Anjali, The Incredible Kid, 9 pm, $3-7 THE SECRET SOCIETY--Soulciety: DJ Drew Groove, Katrina Martiani, 9 pm, $4 THE SPARE ROOM--Sugar Town: DJ Action Slacks, 9 pm, $5 TED'S--Greek Night Portland: DJ Kypros, DJ Yanni, DJ Shaka, DJ Hondro, 9:30 pm TIGA--DJ Bikini Briefs TRIPLE NICKEL--DJ Stockholmz, 9:30 pm TUBE--Saturdazed: Josh Booze, 7 pm THE WHISKEY BAR--Habit Forming Sessions: Jamie Meushaw, Jason LeMaitre, DJ Eddie, 10 pm, $5 SUNDAY 10/7 AALTO LOUNGE--Whiskey Bitters, 9 pm, free ALLEYWAY CAFE & BAR--Country Music, 3 pm, free, all ages BEULAHLAND--The Original Eye Candy Video Night: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free CC SLAUGHTERS--Superstar Divas, DJ Robb, 8 pm, free CRUSH--DJ Mikey, 10 am-2 pm DEVILS POINT--Stripparaoke: KJ Zero, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Noches Latinas: DJ Marco GROUND KONTROL--DJ Nate C, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL--Ladies Night: DJ Mani, free PLAN B--Hive: DJ Owen, DJ Brian Backlash, 9 pm STAR BAR--DJ Riff Randell, DJ Baby Lemonade, 10 pm TUBE--Dark Sundays: DJ Josh Dark, 10 pm FRIDAY 10/5 THE BAOWRY--Grand Opening Party: DJ Gregarious, 10 pm, free BEECH ST. PARLOR--Musique Plastique BLITZ 21--DJ Sovern-T, 9 pm, free CC SLAUGHTERS--Filthy Fridays: DJ Robb, 9 pm, free DEVILS POINT--DJ Kenoy, 9 pm, free EAGLES LODGE--Bridgetown Beatz: B Hammer'd, 9 pm, free EAST CHINATOWN LOUNGE--Needle Drop Listening Party: KP, DJ DMP, Easter Egg, 10 pm, $10 ELEMENT--Chris Alice, 9 pm THE EMBERS AVENUE--On the Avenue: DJ Jens, 9 pm FEZ--Shut Up & Dance: DJ Gregarious, 10 pm, $5 GOODFOOT--DJ Magneto, 9 pm, $5 GROOVE SUITE--The Big Payback: DJ Roane, DJ Jusayin, 11 pm, $3 GROUND KONTROL--DJ Epor, 9 pm HOLOCENE--Fresh.: Shlohmo, Natasha Kmeto, Nathan Detroit, Magnetic Crew, 9 pm, $10 JONES--Back to the Future Fridays: DJ Zimmie, 8 pm, $5 LOLA'S ROOM--'80s Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox, 8 pm, $6 THE LOVECRAFT--Brickbat Mansion: Curatrix, DJ Wednesday, 10 pm, free LUCKY DEVIL--DJ Joe, free MATADOR--Infamous: DJ Rattooth, DJ Makeout, 10 pm, free MOTHERS VELVET LOUNGE CAFE--Mr. Mumu PALACE OF INDUSTRY--DJ Philadelphia Freedom, 7 pm REFUGE--Megabounce Colors: Butch Clancy, Kellan & Avery, 9 pm, $20 ROTTURE--Deep Cuts: Bruce LaBruiser, 9 pm SAUCEBOX--HomoDeluxe: Mr. Charming, Roy G Biv, 10 pm, free STAR BAR--Blank Fridays: DJ Paultimore, 10 pm TIGA--DJ Dad Jeans TRIPLE NICKEL--DJ Stockholmz, 9:30 pm TUBE--Neil Blender, 7 pm THE WHISKEY BAR--Discotek, Heatesca, #PartyGirl, Cojac, Sasha Coulter, 10 pm, $5 Big Fucking Deals No douchebags No card limits Cornhole 2 oz. pours MONDAY 10/8 BEECH ST. PARLOR--Cowboys from Sweden BLUE MONK--Deep Cuts, 8 pm CLUB 21--Witch Throne GROUND KONTROL--Service Industrial: DJ Tibin, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Eye Candy: VJ Norto, Phantom Hillbilly, 8 pm, free MATADOR--I Don't Like Mondays: DJ Rhienna, DJF, 10 pm, free MUSIC MILLENNIUM--Tame Impala listening party, 6 pm, free, all ages O'MALLEY'S SALOON & GRILL--Heavy Metal Monday: Bozyk, 9 pm STAR BAR--Metal Mondays: DJ Blackhawk, 10 pm, free TED'S--Rock & Roll Mondays: Josh, 9:30 pm, free TIGA--Family Jewels TUBE--DJ Matt Scaphism, 7 pm (22nd & NE Burnside) 14 NE 22ND @standardpdx TUESDAY 10/9 BEECH ST. PARLOR--Jason Urick CC SLAUGHTERS--DJ Robb, 9 pm, free CLUB 21--DJ Dirty Red CROWN ROOM--See You Next Tuesday: Kellan, DJ Avery, 9 pm, free DEVILS POINT--DJ Kenoy, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Recycle: DJ Tibin, 9 pm, free GROUND KONTROL--Rock Band Tuesdays: MC T. Wrecks, 9 pm, free THE LOVECRAFT--Death Club: DJ Entropy, 10 pm MATADOR--DJ Donny Don't, 10 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Lift: Twitchdoctor, Echoik, Colleague, 9 pm STAR BAR--DJ Smooth Hopperator, 10 pm, free SWIFT LOUNGE--Boogie Tuesday: Maxx Bass, Gwizski, Mikie Lixx TIGA--The Ministry of Information TRADER VIC'S--DJ AM Gold, 6 pm TUBE--DJ Overcol, 7 pm; Tubesday, 10 pm SATURDAY 10/6 AURA--Twice as Nice: DJ TJ, A Train, Tandem, 10 pm, $10 THE BAOWRY--St. Johns DJs, 10 pm BEECH ST. PARLOR--DJ Lorax BERBATI'S PAN--Music for the Masses: King Fader, 10 pm, free BEULAHLAND--Seoul Brother #1, King Tim 33.3, 9 pm CC SLAUGHTERS--House of Hollywood: DJ Alex Hollywood, 9 pm, free THE CONQUISTADOR--DJ Rhienna, DJF CRUZROOM--John-Lewis Lookingglass, Theronious Chunk, 10 pm, free DEVILS POINT--DJ Brooks, 9 pm, free EAST BURN--The Get Ahead!: DJ Zimmie, 10 pm, free; DJ Zimmie, 10 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Portland Tonight: DJ Jens, 9 pm FEZ--Twice as Nice: DJ TJ, A Train, Tandem, 10 pm, $10 GREELEY AVE. BAR AND GRILL--Eye Candy: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free GROOVE SUITE--After Dark GROUND KONTROL--DJ Etbonz, 9 pm HOLOCENE--Booty Bassment: Ryan & Dimitri, Maxx Bass, Nathan Detroit, 9 pm, $5 WEDNESDAY 10/10 AALTO LOUNGE--DJ Maxamillion BEECH ST. PARLOR--Sweet Jimmy T CC SLAUGHTERS--Trick: DJ Robb, 9 pm, free CRUZROOM--Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio: Pat Kearns, Mark Brachmann THE EMBERS AVENUE--Gothic Industrial: DJ Jens, 9 pm FIRKIN TAVERN--VJ Norto, 9 pm GROUND KONTROL--TRONix: Maximum Electronica: DJ 808, 9 pm JONES--Spin Sugar: Doc Adam, 10 pm, $5 LADD'S INN--DJ Kutthroat, 9:30 pm, free MOLOKO PLUS--King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm THE REFECTORY--Wednesday Eastside Karaoke: KJ RC, 8 pm SAUCEBOX--DJ Nealie Neal STAR BAR--DJ Danny Dodge, 10 pm TIGA--DJ Maxamillion TIGER BAR--Juicy Wednesdays: DJ Detroit Diezel, 9 pm, $2 TUBE--Loyd Depriest, 6 pm; DJ Creepy Crawl, 7 pm THE WHISKEY BAR--Whiskey Wednesdays: American Girls, 10 pm, free October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 39 CULTURE/ART/PDX COMEDY PREVIEW because "it's a breeding ground for prominent 12-year-old boys in the 12-year-old boy scene." Weinbach just released his third comedy album, Mostly Live. As the title indicates, it's a lot of live material, which is why he calls this album his "sellout" album. "My first album was all studio recordings, maybe only five-to-10 percent live. The second one was about a third live and the rest were phone calls and songs. So this one is my sellout album. You don't have to laugh for yourself on this one like you did with the other two. You don't have to get the jokes, you just have to hear people laughing and you know it's funny. Because at heart we're all sheep. So it's easier to like something if everybody else is liking it. This is the sellout record for sure. There's laughter all the way through on this one." It's not all live, though--"there's bits," he says. "A little penis, a little poo, some funny accents and voices. Some good sound effects and stuff. The rest is phone calls from my friend Daniel Porter. Confessional things, he'd leave these long messages so I made some music underneath and it has kind of a neat Joe Frank feel to it." And since Weinbach's on the road promoting the album, he wants everyone to know he's got the audience in mind. "I trained really hard in preparation for the album," he says. "I did Gold's Gym every day for three months, did squats and crunches, did Soloflex. I got my body toned and got my neck toned as well. The truth of the matter is I look great in briefs, and that's what this album is about. It's about looking great in briefs." All kidding aside, Weinbach wants people to know that his show is about fun. "Even though I look smart and am smart," he says, "my comedy is pretty stupid. So don't think too hard about it. It's not meant to make you think, it's meant to make you laugh and enjoy. There's no subversive agenda. It is actually as stupid as it looks." He goes on, "It's not meant to be dark or offensive either. In case anyone thinks saying `couscous' and sticking out my tongue has any dark meaning, there's not. It's just a funnysounding word and a funny gesture. This is a show for the whole family. And by `family,' I mean a four-member group of 12-year-old boys." TEMPLE LENTZ BOOK REVIEW Tin House's Portland-Brooklyn Issue (Tin House) Release party at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, Wed Oct 10, 8 pm, $5 "W Funny Over Everything w/Brent Weinbach, Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Thurs Oct 4, 9:30 pm, $10 BOOK REVIEW HATEVER YOUR intentions, to be a member of the new, more privileged wave of residents in a gentrifying neighborhood is to be a part of a process that is displacing families who have lived there for decades, even generations. You have to be something of a moral idiot not to feel some queasiness about this."--Evan Hughes, "Consider the Gentrifier" Branded by artists and writers, gentrified be- yond recognition, self-worrying at questions of hipsterdom, appropriation, and authenticity--it's Brooklyn. It's Portland. It's the Portland-Brooklyn issue of Tin House, of which Hughes' insightful essay is the unofficial centerpiece. Highlights of the issue, which pulls writers from both coasts, include Jon Raymond's self-interrogating report of a night spent at an Occupy Portland rally, torn between an attractive political cause and a dirty, drug-infested encampment. Raymond finds historical precedent for the street kids who gravitated to the Portland camp--the same kids who sprawl with their sad dogs on downtown street corners--in Don Carpenter's 1964 novel Hard Rain Falling. The piece is named for Carpenter's description of those hardscrabble kids, a lineage dating back to World War II: "The Broadway Gang." On the Brooklyn side, CJ Hauser's "The Shapeshifter Principle" contains whispers of Junot D�az: a sister cares for her blind brother, searches for her missing mother, wonders if a shapeshifter could ever capture the essence of the person it's impersonating. And Salma Abdelnour's account of exploring New York's Arab enclaves is a great piece of food writing that reminds us that though our hipsters look the same, Brooklyn and Portland really aren't so similar after all. ALISON HALLETT B RENT WEINBACH is one of the most original comedians working today. He's weird, he's incredibly dry, and he can be hilarious. So when he headlines Funny Over Everything, do yourself a favor and check him out. Show producer and comedian Ian Karmel calls Weinbach "one of the most innovative comedians in the country." Weinbach's not just innovative, says Karmel, he's also "fucking hilarious. I saw him for the first time when he was headlining Helium, and he did things [I would have been] terrified to try as a comedian, and they brought the house down. He killed doing jokes with his belt. He killed. Doing jokes. With his belt. He's amazing." While critics and other comics call Weinbach's work creative and brilliant, Weinbach takes a simpler approach. "It's penis humor, poo humor, and other kinds of things that 12-year-old boys would laugh at. I'm looking for the 12-year-old boy in everybody to appeal to." He enjoys performing in Portland, he says, Waging Heavy Peace by Neil Young (Blue Rider Press) A S A SONGWRITER, Neil Young's best lyrics are smoky and impressionistic, almost impossible to fully wrap your head around. One might expect his book to suffer from a similarly foggy approach, but it turns out Young's father, Scott Young, was a famed and prolific journalist--and it also turns out that the Canadian-born rocker has writing in his blood. Al- though the non-chronological, meandering Waging Heavy Peace often draws only the barest of sketches, Young's memoir is less scattershot and more illuminating than Bob Dylan's Chronicles: Volume One. It starts off pretty clunky, though. Young rambles about anything and everything that crosses his mind. (And what's on his mind? He likes old cars and model trains. He really hates MP3s.) As a writer, Young opts for the first-take, best-take method of spontaneity that's served him well for most of his recording career--the book feels altogether untouched by an editor, or even a second draft. But Young the writer gradually reveals himself; he's lived a full and interesting life, scaling the cocaine-dusted heights of rock stardom in the '70s and settling into family life in the '80s (both of his sons have cerebral palsy, to differing degrees). Young quit smoking weed while writing the book and reflects on his newfound sobriety, as well as the many friends who've died over the years--producer David Briggs, filmmaker Larry Johnson, and bandmate Danny Whitten. The result is a series of touching, uncensored recollections from a man whose love of rock 'n' roll (and cars) never diminished, even as age and family took root. NED LANNAMANN God is listening? ThinkRenaissance.org WHY WAIT � Hookup TONIGHT! FREE TO TRY UNLIMITED VIP MEMERSHIP $19 FOR 1 WEEK 503-222-CHAT VANCOUVER 360-696-5253 EVERETT 425-405-CHAT TACOMA 253-359-CHAT SEATTLE 206-753-CHAT BOISE 208-350-2500 STRAIGHT/GAY/BI www.LiveMatch.com 40 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 Presents Always FREE TO CHAT WITH VIP MEMBERS sCrAPPDX.OrG/RCR CAUTION! THIS IS NOT YOUR MAMA'S CRAFT COMPET THURS ITION! 2 1+ event OCT SPONSORS: come see Portland's best crafters go head-to-head in the ultimate craft smackdown! AN OFFICIAL EVENT OF 18 2 0 1 2 7 30 PM HOllYwOOd THEATRE 4122 NE SANdY Blvd. BOOK REVIEW Found Magazine 10th Anniversary Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, Tues Oct 9, 8:30 pm, $10, holocene.org I My Heart Is an Idiot by Davy Rothbart (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux) COMIC BOOK REVIEW Reading at Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, Mon Oct 8, 7:30 pm REALLY WANTED to love My Heart Is an Idiot, the new collection of memoir essays from Found magazine creator Davy Rothbart. I've been a fan of Found for several years, have enjoyed Rothbart on This American Life, and had high hopes for his book. But while a few of the essays are excellent, the collection as a whole is a bit meandering. As one would expect from the title, most of My Heart Is an Idiot focuses on Rothbart's fumbling attempts at love and lust with various women. These encounters convey desire, awkwardness, and heartbreak in a way that's highly relatable--sometimes too relatable. The overall impression is of sitting in a bar with Rothbart while drinking cheap beer and talking about girls. It's a pleasant enough experience, but I kept waiting for the book to have a bit more kick. Rothbart is very good, though, when he's not talking about his love life. An essay about a fraudulent literary competition and another featuring the discovery of a corpse are both very LOVE A GOOD comedic duo--and writer Jeff Parker and artist Erika Moen are as classic a laugh 'n' chuckle team as you could dream up in old Sogtown. Their collaboration, the Portlandbased murder-mystery comic Bucko, originated as a web comic in the winter of 2011, and now Dark Horse has collected the story in a handsome hardcover filled with extra tidbits (ignore the jabberjawing footnotes from Parker and Moen and you won't be worse for wear). While technically a murder mystery, Bucko is straight-up comedy, sprinkled with saucy characters and more Portland situations than you can shake a kombucha mother at. Rich "Bucko" Richardson is an effeminate Portland slacker who wakes from a drunken stupor--where he slept through a threeway opportunity!--to be epically late for a much-needed job interview. Dressed in a borrowed blouse, his bowels rebel mid-interview and as he frantically tries to make it to the toilet, he discovers a murdered body on the bathroom floor. It's up to his love interest Gyp, a spunky octopus-lovin' Etsy icon, and her team of bike-riding misfits to get Bucko off the hook. And if the gang sounds a wee bit too whimsical for your tastes, I beg good. By far the strongest essay in the collection is an account of Byron Case, a teenager who was sentenced to life in prison for a 1997 murder he almost certainly did not commit. The essay comes as something of a wild left turn--it's toward the end of the book, and up to that point Rothbart's accounts featured fairly low stakes. For one essay, though, the casual atmosphere melts away, and Rothbart creates a sense of drama, dread, fear, and outrage concerning his subject. It's a stark and jarring departure from the rest of the book, and is easily the best 40 pages between the covers. There was also an essay on 9/11 to which my main response was "Jesus Christ, not another fucking thing about 9/11," because I am apparently an awful human being. Rothbart's at Holocene on Tuesday, October 9, to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Found and debut a new issue of the magazine. The gathering will focus on what Rothbart does best, which is... well, find things. He shines as a scrounger, a scavenger, and an investigator, making art out of happenstance. I'd definitely read another collection of his, but hopefully one more investigative than introspective. JOE STRECKERT to differ. The lactating SuicideGirl, Gyp's bull dyke roommate, and a frenemy Juggalette are all solid gold. As are the steampunk layabouts, the track-standing Pixies cover band (the Fixies, natch!), and the loveable-yet-gassy homeless miscreant the Fartmonger. Parker and Moen excel at putting their motley crew through the Scooby-Doo rigmarole. Bucko disappears halfway through the story, and that's when Gyp & Co.'s story starts to shine. Particularly when Moen, creator of the funniest depiction of a Juggalette I've seen, unleashes her Faygo swiller. Parker, who's known for his writing on Marvel superhero comics, is also pretty damned funny. Take this call to arms for a host of hobo Juggalos: "Methy Joe! Alamo! Gooch! Puzzlenutz!" Now that's a word poem! Parker's writing is sharp, while Moen's clever drawings are a pleasure to behold. They seem to bring out the best in each other--it just so happens that their best involves tripping balls on absinthe, pitchperfect Insane Clown Posse parlance, loads of sperm, and a hobo shanty village that puts the wharf-town of Robert Altman's Popeye to shame. I consider that last bit pretty high praise. COURTNEY FERGUSON ARTCHART OUR PICKS OF THE WEEK EVERYTHING IN THIS STORY HAS A STORY MARK WARREN JACQUES BREEZE BLOCK � 323 NW 6TH � OPENS OCT 4 Arj Barker--Stand-up from a man deemed funny enough to appear multiple times on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and The Late Show with David Letterman. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs Oct 4, 8 pm, Fri Oct 5-Sat Oct 6, 7:30 & 10 pm, $22-27, heliumcomedy.com I Literary Mixtape--Applying the science of the perfectly crafted mixtape (Rob Gordon would approve) to the literary world, and inviting authors Chloe Caldwell, Peyton Marshall, and Michael Heald to share excerpts from their favorite books. Literary Arts, 925 SW Washington, Thurs Oct 4, 7:30 pm, free Comics Quitting--Portland stand-ups telling tales on how to quit something with style, with performances from Nathan Brannon, Belinda Carroll, and plenty more. Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne, Fri Oct 5, 10:30 pm, $5 The Cody Rivers Show--The funniest sketch comedy duo... EVER? Also see My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK, Fri Oct 5-Sat Oct 6, 9:30 pm, $10-12, curiouscomedy.org Bucko by Jeff Parker & Erika Moen (Dark Horse) Reading at Powell's Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, Thurs Oct 4, 7:30 pm; release party at Bridge City Comics, 3725 N Mississippi, Fri Oct 5, 6 pm Prophet--An exhibition of original artwork from the latest issue of Prophet, a sci-fi comic series written by Brandon Graham, featuring artwork by artists including Simon Roy, Farel Dalrymple, and Graham himself. Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch, opening party Thurs Oct 5, through Oct 31, floatingworldcomics.com PO RTLAN D M E RCU RY.CO M HAS A COMPLETE CALENDAR OF ARTS EVENTS Jeff is back at the Sea Tramp! 503.231.9784 October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 41 MELISSA DOW D RTLAN O P AL GIN Y STYLE I R O ENCH FR AC RE^ P 42 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 ER IE .le www MON -T H UR 5P NOW M-M SE 101 1 NW �5 USA E V HA 16T AR ND B A T N URA A T 6.1258 03.22 RES AT 5PM-1:30AM FRI/ S HT � CKTAILS G I IDN ING CO RV happy.com Just down the hill from adidas and overlook neighborhood on swan island in north pdx Taqueria at the End of the Universe God Is in the Details at Taqueria Portland by Chris Onstad LAST SUPPER EAT IT! SOMETIMES I WONDER if we've already thing you can eat without the lower third eaten the best meal we'll ever eat. Maybe at becoming a grease-sop. Nachos ($6.49) are another dish that is some young age when the world was new and little things like blue cheese dressing on ice- all too often slapped together and broiled berg, or Thanksgiving gravy on a soft roll, without thought of how it will eat. Here, a could carve pathways straight to the plea- low bed of house-fried chips is carefully laysure center of our impressionable brains. ered with refried beans, meat, guacamole, Will the best meal of my life be a three-hour melting cheese, crumbled cotija, and sliced dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant that fresh jalape�os in a way that holds everydoesn't yet exist, or was it the now-mythic thing together without any masses of chips burger my dad cooked on the electric pan- going sodden or, worse, bare. The steak fajitas ($12.49) come out in cake griddle in 1979, when I was four, the meat sizzling on a little patch that had been a blistering-hot cast iron pan, smoking and hissing and perfuming the table caramelizing onions earlier? It had Taqueria with deeply caramelized beef, onAmerican cheese, a generic white Portland ions, and green peppers. I want my bun, and cheap ketchup--and I was 7007 N Fessenden daughter to see this dish, to rememheartbroken that there was only 285-0304 ber it when she is older, because dyenough meat for one. I can still see the cold, charred slice of onion that remained namic presentation, like with sizzling rice on the griddle later, and I still remember soup or flambe�d crepes, makes for a visknowing that it was this unlikely thing that ceral, happy memory in young minds. The fajitas themselves, built with soft flour tortihad made my dinner magic. It was hardly a Wagyu patty with foie llas, thick slices of fresh avocado, and salsa, gras, Reblochon, and truffled aioli--a burg- are simple and satisfying, a plate that's best er I could have now and enjoy thoroughly, when shared. Tacos ($1.50, $2.50 with crema, guacaand not remember in a few weeks. But I remember my dad's 1979 burger more clearly mole, and Monterrey cheese) are doubled, than my first communion or first kiss, and velvety-soft corn tortillas topped with amhere and there, when I sense that excite- ple portions of meat, and a heavy hand with ment echoing in a new food experience, I the cilantro and onion. Juicy, spicy, shredfeel a compounded, deeply personal happi- ded beef barbacoa is great here, and the beef head and beef tongue are meltingly ness that is nearly impossible to engineer. I get glimpses of that sort in much of soft with strong, straightforward flavor. But the menu at Taqueria Portland. It's a quiet, they're not the tacos I ate as a kid in Caliunmemorable little building way out in St. fornia--the tacos dorados are. Their thin, Johns; windows line a wall that catches the crispy, golden shells are still warm from the sun all day. The booths are old, comfortable fryer, and when filled with their chopped, green naugahyde, and there's a big over- deeply browned steak, lettuce, guacamole, head menu behind the counter, but you're crema, and cheese, they have the intense supposed to sit down to order. Hot chips and flavor, shattering texture, and cooling richbleeding-red fresh salsa are set down with ness of a perfect snack. Not everything here is ideal. The enchiyour menu, an accent of hospitality that disappears from more places each year. Foun- ladas ($9.25) are finished with a dry sauce tain soda comes out in a massive, frosty that seems more like a brushed-on tomato glass mug, and the single front-of-house paste, lacking in flavor and moisture. The server is uniformly friendly and efficient, hubcap-sized chile relleno plate ($9.99) is though understandably a bit slower when two soggy, oily, bland peppers that went back to the kitchen nearly untouched the house is full. The assortment of menu standards without comment from either party. The is nuanced here and there with clean, chile verde ($12.49) is also one-note, tasthearty posoles and massive huaraches, ing mainly of black pepper, with meat that and doesn't hew to any particular regional hasn't been browned before braising. There are many, many taquerias in town, identity. The burritos are not those typical football-sized behemoths that leak pinto but the critical details they get right at Tabeans like a banker with his belly slashed queria Portland mean the difference beopen; they are generous but thoughtfully- tween forgettable mediocrity, and lasting imconstructed, tightly-bound, and balanced pressions that are comforting in many ways. things that eat well. Even the chorizo Compact but full bar, take-out, kids' menu, breakfast burrito ($4.99), with its sausage, great service, and miles of parking. hash browns, egg, and salsa--which could It's St. Johns, after all. easily be a wet, dripping mess--is someFIND RESTAURANTS, BARS, AND READER REVIEWS AT PORTLANDMERCURY .COM NOLAN CALISCH wood fired sea bass with tomato and saffron braised celery, taggiasca olives olives and grilled bread Mike Simington is a great person potato croquettes with chili vinegar wood oven roasted pork shank with white beans and winter greens we love cats handmade ricotta cavatelli with spicy sausage sugo Oregon oak mild chicories with apples, balsamic and bacon fried cauliflower with lemon cr�me fraiche Eat Oregon First grilled broccoli with lemon, anchovy and chili meyer lemon pudding cake candied pistachio, chantilly vanilla bean cr�me br�l�e fluffer nutter the kitty kat wood oven roasted broccoli sprouts with controne chili and lemon beets with salsa verde fried stuffed olives roasted beets with buffalo ricotta salata and walnuts Square Peg fried cauliflower with lemon cr�me fraiche green beans with chile and basil fritto of fennel and lemon bruschetta with padron peppers and fromage blanc, arugula with Humboldt Fog chevre, hazelnuts & red wine vinaigrette chocolate torte creme fraiche ice cream, hazelnut brittle romaine hearts with lemon-anchovy vinaigrette and shaved pecorino pea shoots with garlic, chili flake and grana padano wood-fired iron skillet mussels with drawn butter pizza bianca with squash blossoms, fresh mozzarella and basil pizza with spicy house sausage, walla walla onions and fresh mozzarella rotisserie chicken with chicory, pancetta, roasted bread and cherries meatballs and slow-cooked green beans with basil and chili wood oven roasted line-caught rock fish with potato corn salad and salsa verde wood grilled hanger steak with crispy potatoes, arugula and grana padano we use locally sourced and sustainable produce, involtini of eggplant with herbed fromage blanc cherry bombs � cherry peppers stuffed with fresh mozzarella and anchovy Gathering Together bruschetta with heirloom tomatoes, basil, ricotta and olive oil Firehouse meatballs with roasted heirloom tomatoes and goat horn peppers please eat real food caramel ice cream cake toasted almonds, Portland Creamery, chocolate chunks, salted caramel, bittersweet chocolate Payne Family Farmrotisserie chicken with slow cooked green beans, basil and chili wood-oven roasted line-caught coho salmon with potato corn salad and salsa verde house-made semolina gnocchi with sungold tomatoes, basil and ricotta artichokes and mint pizza with spicy house sausage what would polar bear do? wood oven roasted broccoli sprouts with controne chili and lemon salume di testa Firehouse | located in the historic Dekum Firehouse at 711 NE Dekum, Portland, OR 97211 | t 503.954.1702 www.firehousepdx.com open nightly at 5p.m Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 43 3 Locations Open 24HRS!!! Gerding Theater at the Armory 128 NW Eleventh Avenue 503.445.3700 pcs.org Diana Gerding 44 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 FILM Father of the Year Taken 2: It's (Still) a Bad Idea to Piss Off Liam Neeson by Erik Henriksen ON A PICTURESQUE Albanian hillside, ing shit out of Kim's dipshit boyfriend, and GOES WRONG IN ISTANBUL. But while this Taken is less focused than ancient trees take deep root, their whis- maybe--just maybe --getting back together with Kim's un-fucking- the first, it makes up for it with a winkpering leaves rich shades of Taken 2 believably hot mom, Lenore ing awareness of both its silliness and its green mottled with vivid reds, dir. Olivier Megaton (Famke Janssen). Then Liam straight-up xenophobia. It also features oranges, yellows. Autumn is Opens Fri Oct 5 Neeson, Kim, and Lenore de- Liam Neeson killing even more bad guys, approaching these rocky lands, Various Theaters cide to go to Istanbul, because and an oddly elaborate homage to Drive, and bringing a chill to the clear sunlight--sunlight that kisses those who WHAT COULD EVER GO WRONG IN Liam Neeson teaching his daughter how to have gathered atop this peaceful crest, all ISTANBUL, and hey, remember those be a badass instead of a damsel in distress. of whom carry a heavy, aching sadness. weeping A lbanians? EV ERY THING Liam Neeson is even angrier and cooler now For they are looking at a long row of open graves, and at the bodies within, wrapped in clean, white shrouds. These are the bodies of all the bastards Liam Neeson killed in Taken, and they will be avenged. Liam Neeson killed all those bastards with good reason: They kidnapped his daughter and tried to sell her into the Eastern European sex trade! Granted, they probably wouldn't have done so if they'd known Liam Neeson is a retired CIA operative, and thus possesses a very particular set of skills: He can find you and he can kill you and he gets angry if anyone tries to sell his daughter into the Eastern European sex trade. So. How many picturesque hillsides does Albania have? Because Liam Neeson will fi ll them with corpses. All of them. As Taken 2 begins, Liam Neeson (played by Liam Neeson) is gleefully unconcerned with weeping Albanians, instead focusing on more important things: helping his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), get her driver's license, downin' some brewskis with his buddies, scaring the liv- TAKEN 2 FUCK YEAH LIAM NEESON, FUCK YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH than he was in Taken, and he's still smarter than James Bond (has 007 ever used grenades... as an echolocation device?) and tougher than all the Expendables combined (even when threatened with lethal torture, Liam Neeson totally keeps his cool). True, Liam Neeson can't compete with Jason Bourne's youthful vigor--but if the Taken saga proves anything, it's that vengeance is a dish best served old. Yes, I did write that line down when it occurred to me about three-quarters of the way through Taken 2. It is my deepest hope that they use it as the tagline for Taken 3. Treehouse of Torture Porn Like Its Namesake, V/H/S Is Problematic by Ben Coleman Why do I object to that scene and not, V/H/S OPENS WITH what I can only describe as an incidental sexual assault. A say, the steaming avalanche of gratuitous viscera that courses intergroup of men pull on ski masks V/H/S mittently through the rest and ambush a woman in a dirs. Various of this found-footage horror snowy parking lot. They tear Opens Fri Oct 5 anthology? Well on one level, off her clothing, record it, and Hollywood Theatre it's just hypocrisy. But on anrun away. It's quick, gross, and probably where I would have walked out if I other level--which is the one I'm going to wasn't getting paid (a little bit) to watch the cling to--it's that getting chopped up into little bits is a fairly universal fear. Getdang thing. FILM ting molested in an empty parking lot is a more specific and immediate anxiety, and cheaply exploiting it for my entertainment feels cruel to both the characters and the audience. That is a type of cruelty I'm reluctant to endorse. It's a shame, because once you get past the persistently clumsy framing story, the short fi lms contained within V/H/S are inventive and unnerving; there's a good blend of CGI and practical effects, and there are some scares outside the usual "Oh God I am being stabbed to death" variety (though there is plenty of stabbing). The House of the Devil director Ti West's Second Honeymoon is the standout in terms of subtlety: It's a slow, effective burn, and much of the horror comes from the casually shitty things people in long-term relationships sometimes do to each other. Should you see this movie? I dunno. If you like found-footage horror movies, you'll probably love this one. But I don't feel good recommending it to anyone else. Spark of Life Resurrecting Tim Burton's Frankenweenie by Courtney Ferguson THE 1984 SHORT Frankenweenie is ited Frankenweenie with a stop-motion one of my favorite Tim Burton fi lms: It's feature that expands on the original. It's pretty, if a bit humorless--but devoted to the Universal StuFrankenweenie nonetheless, put this one in the dios monster fi lms without bedir. Tim Burton "good" column of Burton's poing slavish, it has a great cast Opens Fri Oct 5 larizing output. (come back from whatever purVarious Theaters The plot points follow the gatory you've been enslaved in, Shelley Duvall), and it has enough heart original short fi lm's black-and-white reand style to rival Ed Wood and Edward telling of the classic 1931 Frankenstein, Scissorhands. And now, in the golden age as young Victor Frankenstein (voiced of Hollywood remakes, Burton's revis- by Charlie Tahan) loses his beloved dog FILM Sparky--but realizes that through the power of electricity, he can restore life to his canine. So in grand set-piece fashion, a kiddie version of the iconic laboratory is set up in the Frankensteins' suburban attic, lightning is captured, and the boltnecked Sparky is brought back to life. But it's when Frankenweenie moves past its simple setup that the new fi lm starts to show some real spark--when Victor's creepy classmates vie for the coveted sci- ence fair award with necromancer projects of their own, the ensuing monster mash is delightful. Still, and even with all of Burton's painstaking homage, this stop-motion film lacks life--it's a little mopey, full of one-note melancholy children whose collective ennui doesn't complement Victor's stoic passion to resurrect his dog. It's not all dour--there are plenty of fun and sweet moments, an adorable Franken-bull-terrier, and enough visual gags to stuff a ravenous were-rat--but considering it's a movie about bringing dead things to life, Frankenweenie should be livelier. October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 45 Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com Dream Weaving Chicken with Plums' Sleepy Style by Marjorie Skinner FILM WRITING/DIRECTING TEAM Mar- ey, he's a genius do-nothing--she breaks jane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud may Nasser's violin, leaving him to decide he have deviated from the animated format of has nothing to live for. So--eschewing their previous success, Persepolis, to fi lm conventional methods as too painful or undignified--he simply Chicken with Plums Chicken with Plums gets into bed and waits largely in traditional dirs. Marjane Satrapi, Vincent Paronnaud for death to come. live-action cinematogOpens Fri Oct 5 During this self-imraphy, but its delivery Fox Tower 10 posed demise, the story is just as fanciful. Saturated tones and dramatic, isolating sets skips between excursions from the past to and lighting--with just a flourish here and visions of the future, spinning a pleasant, there of animation--make the fi lm some- folksy tale of lost love and cruel fate, aided thing that bends and twists at the will of by elegantly macabre performances by Isthe story from magical realism to theatri- abella Rossellini as Nasser's perpetually smoking mother and Chiara Mastroianni cal parody, satire, and fantasy. It's fortunate that the vessel in which as the doomed vision of his adult daughter. Chicken with Plums finds its way to the Despite its weaving and seamlessly rangscreen is so deft at navigating these shifts ing embellishments, Chicken with Plums' in technique, because on its own, the tale is story never gains much traction, its charquaint and thin. It begins in 1950s Tehran acters merely a shambling collection of with an introduction to Nasser Ali Khan moldering failures and disappointments, (Mathieu Amalric), a world-famous violin- both past and still to come. The mood is ist plagued by melancholy and an unhappy akin to a grandmother telling a rambling marriage. During a fight with Farin- cautionary tale by the fi re: Its lessons may guisse (Maria de Medeiros), his wife--she be wise and useful in certain regards, but does all the work and makes all the mon- it's also there to drift you into sleep. and Invite You to Enter for the Chance to Win an Admit-Two Pass to Text the word BONNY and your ZIP CODE to 43549 Example Text: BONNY 97086 ENTRY DEADLINE: MONDAY, OCTOBER 8 This film is rated R for strong violence, bloody images, pervasive language, sexuality / nudity and some drug use. IN THEATERS OCTOBER 12 There is no charge to text 43KIX. Message and data rates from your wireless carrier may apply. Check your plan. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Limit one entry per cell phone. Winners will be drawn at random and notified via text message with screening details by 10/8 at 5PM. Each mobile pass admits 2. The screening will be held on Wednesday, 10/10 at 7:00PM at a local theatre. Sponsors and their dependents are not eligible to receive a prize. Supplies are limited. The film is rated R. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of prizes assumes any and all risks related to use of prize, and accepts any restrictions required by prize provider. Prizes cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. Not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her prize in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal, state and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. NO PHONE CALLS! sevenpsychopaths.com facebook.com/SevenPsychopathsMovie twitter.com/7Psychopaths Stepped On CHICKEN WITH PLUMS "Ah, yes. Little does she know that the flower is roofied!" Bill W.: The Alcoholic Behind AA by Denis C. Theriault FILM 20447 SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS PORTLAND MERCURY TRIM: 4.75" x 3.25" BW RUN DATE: 10/3/2012 AD DUE: 9/28/12 CREATIVE VISION: 9/28/12 mech01 818-509-9669 BILL W.--no last name needed--is fa- failure, depression, and need for chemical miliar to any kid dragged to a church relief that lingered long after he swore off basement on a Friday night and told to liquor (Bill W. spent years experimenting with LSD and, later, vitaquietly eat butter cookies Bill W. mins), the salvation of so while grownups take turns dirs. Dan Carracino, Kevin Hanlon many others could never talking about how their Sun Oct 7-Thurs Oct 11 have followed. obsession w ith alcohol Cinema 21 True to the confessionrepeatedly, unceasingly, al style of the AA movement he helped seed keeps ruining their lives. Bill's the long-dead co-founder of Al- in the late 1930s, much of Wilson's story is coholics Anonymous, and he's revered as told in his own voice. He's joined by historisomething close to a personal, tangible ans and associates, and by modern alcoholmessiah among the hard cases who cling ics, their faces cloaked in shadows. Dealing with an ersatz god in a docufor dear life to his books, his "higher power" mantra, and his now-ubiquitous mentary can be touchy; how much truth 12-step program. At a time when alcohol- does a director dare reveal? But directors ism either led to jail or the asylum, Bill W. Dan Carracino and Kevin Hanlon don't sugarcoat. We see Wilson in his fi nal years, offered a way out. But behind the myth sits a simple, in- thinking of leaving his long-suffering wife escapable fact about the man, born more for a younger woman, drained of his spirithan a century ago as Bill Wilson: He was tuality by a movement that's placed him on pedestal. And, then, we learn somejust another alcoholic. And that's the singular--and perhaps thing more. What did Bill W. want most in most powerful--message that oozes from the world on his deathbed? Whiskey, preBill W., an occasionally slow-moving docu- cious whiskey. Because, after all, he was mentary probing Wilson's life. If not for his just another alcoholic. 46 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 FILM SHORTS FRANKENWEENIE THE AMERICAN SCREAM That little freckled bologna-sandwich-wielding lad from the worst movie ever, Troll 2, is back to spread a little Halloween cheer. Michael Stephenson has turned documentarian since his 1990 turn as a goblin fighter, first as the chronicler of Troll 2's bighearted crimes against cinema in Best Worst Movie, and now in The American Scream, a funny and touching documentary about amateur haunted-house creators. Stephenson follows three families in a small Massachusetts town as they prepare their annual haunted attractions for the neighborhood. Running the gamut from professional-grade perfectionist Victor Bariteau, who buys previously used caskets and gets his formula for blood just right, to a slapdash goofball father-and-son team who split their time between kabitzing at each other to literally clowning around at a children's hospital. As is the case for all great and generous documentaries, The American Scream isn't so much about its subject matter as it is about great characters. Director in attendance. COURTNEY FERGUSON Hollywood Theatre. ARMY OF DARKNESS "Don't touch that, please. Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and... compositions... and things with... molecular structures." Laurelhurst Theater. BILL W. See review this issue. Cinema 21. LOOPER Looper is "just" an action movie the same way Brick was "just" a noir, or The Brothers Bloom was "just" a heist flick: All three were written and directed by Rian Johnson, and with each, Johnson appropriates the skeleton of a genre, then fleshes it out in astonishingly clever ways. All you need to know to enjoy Looper is that actions have consequences--and Looper is an action movie. ERIK HENRIKSEN Various Theaters. THE MASTER It's the end of World War II, and ex-sailor Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix) is a goddamn drunk. He's also vengeful, hypersexual, and perhaps (or perhaps not) an involuntary murderer. Something needs to give, and so enters Lancaster Dodd (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman), the "master" of a startup religion/self-help cult called "The Cause" (played by Scientology). For Dodd, Quell is the perfect patient/guinea pig; an "animal" who, once his "ancient trauma" is revealed though tests, study, and psychological torture, will hopefully graduate to a higher order of human... the human we were created to be. One is tempted to gleefully approach The Master as the cinematic counterpart to a juicy Vanity Fair hit piece--but upon viewing, one quickly realizes that Paul Thomas Anderson is reaching for much more. Rather than heaping scorn on a pseudo-faith, Anderson's film is a gorgeously filmed rumination on human need: the need to be self-aware, the need to be accepted, the need to be loved. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY Various Theaters. Happy Hour Specials Everyday Free Pool on Sundays � 92'' t.v � Total Sports Package Serving $2 breakfast from 7am-2pm & 10pm - 2am Kitchen hours (7am-2am) � Bar hours (7am-2:30am) CHICKEN WITH PLUMS FRANKENWEENIE See review this issue. Fox Tower 10. See review this issue. Various Theaters. PETITS PO�MES FLEURIS: FILMS OF ROSE LOWDER Films from French artist Rose Lowder, "focusing on the colors, lines, and textures of the natural environment." Director in attendance; more info at cinemaproject.org. YU Contemporary. KINOFEST PDX: NEW GERMAN CINEMA A compendium of contemporary films coming out of Germany, Kinofest's grouping of disparate genres share only their country of origin (and, in some cases, Nina Hoss). For dour historical fiction, see Barbara, about a sulky young doctor exiled to East Germany in 1980, or for something more modernly dour there's the violent depiction of neo-Nazis into terrible music, terrible haircuts, terrible tattoos, and blow (one or two of whom might show signs of having a heart) in Combat Girls (the moral of the story: they're morons). For less shootyourself fare, there's Baikonur--the charming tale of a young man who takes the Kazakh saying of "whatever falls from heaven, you keep" to heart when a beautiful French girl wrecks her space capsule--plus a German reboot of the classically American Tom Sawyer, and more. MARJORIE SKINNER Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium. Portland's Historic non-Profit tHeatre enter taining Por tl and since 1926 POLTERGEIST See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. Bagdad Theater. PORTLAND LESBIAN & GAY FILM FESTIVAL While the festival's title only name-checks lesbians and gays, its offerings are all inclusive. See "All Aboard," Mercury, September 27, and plgff.org. Cinema 21. 4122 NE SaNdy BoulEvard EVENT HOTLINE: (503) 493-1128 PSYCHO "Twelve cabins. Twelve vacancies." 35mm! Academy Theater. now servInG Beer & wIne. All AGes stIll AdmItted! REPRESSED CINEMA A monthly series at the Hollywood Theatre, "showing vintage and contemporary films that are obscure, neglected, and from the fringe." This month: Roger Corman's A Bucket of Blood. Hollywood Theatre. KUNG FU THEATER Old-school kung fu on 35 mm. This time: Iron Fingers of Death! Hollywood Theatre. L.A. CONFIDENTIAL "Oh, lookie here. The great jerkoff case of 1953." Fifth Avenue Cinema. LIBERAL ARTS Adulthood and maturity don't necessarily go hand in hand, a point charmingly made in the offbeat love story Liberal Arts. But don't mistake this for another story of a sad white person who can't grow up--Liberal Arts is lighthearted but thoughtful, a romantic comedy for the book-loving set. ALISON HALLETT Living Room Theaters. TAKEN 2 See review this issue. Various Theaters. THE SHINING See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 22. Hollywood Theatre. V/H/S See review this issue. Hollywood Theatre. tHE SHininG o pE n S f r i DaY o C t o B E r 5 a 35 mm print of StanLEY KUBriCK'S VOICES IN ACTION: HUMAN RIGHTS ON FILM The Northwest Film Center's human rights-centric series. This week's selections: 5 Broken Cameras and Raising Resistance. More info: nwfilm.org. Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium. LITTLE WHITE LIES First, take the classic middle-aged-friends-face-a-mortality-related-crisis drama The Big Chill. Add about three decades. Make it French. Subtract any sense of humor (because it's French? No time for that now), as well as anything remotely compelling about any of the characters; make them as self-involved and vapid and nearly interchangeable as possible. Add a dash of homophobia (to be completely resolved�with a hug!�at the eleventh hour). Retain, oddly, a soundtrack with songs from the same era as The Big Chill's (which were oldies even then): Use the Isley Brothers, Creedence Clearwater Revival, the Band. Make the much-younger, hot girlfriend character (Meg Tilly) a guy (some hot French guy), just for the hell of it. Make it TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG. Et voil� : Little White Lies. It'll make you want to slit your wrists. BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT Living Room Theaters. iron finGErS of DEatH a.k.a. KUnG fU tHEatEr PrESENTS THE oNly KNoWN 35mm PrINT oF DEatH MaSK of tHE ninJa t U E S DaY o C t o B E r 9 � 7: 3 0 p m See the Mercury movie section for showtimes, and visit our NEW website MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. THEATER LOCATIONS ARE ACCURATE FRIDAY OCTOBER 5-THURSDAY OCTOBER 11, UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED. FILM TIMES AND SHORTS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AT PORTLANDMERCURY.COM. w w w .H o l l y w o o d T H e a T r e . org October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 47 SAVAGE LOVE The Kids Want to Know by Dan Savage LAST WEEK, I appeared at a "Savage Love Live" event at Radford University in Radford, Virginia. Questions are submitted on index cards at SLL events, which allows questioners to remain anonymous and forces them to be succinct. The crowd at Radford was large and inquisitive. The students submitted more questions than I could possibly hope to answer in two hours--and Radford students also managed to stump me. Twice. I promised the crowd that I would get answers for the two stumpers and answer as many of their other questions as I could in this week's column. And here we go... When I sneeze, I ejaculate. Is this normal? Yes, totally. Nothing to worry about. This happens to all guys. That's why they make men's underwear out of cotton, dude. Why do all the beautiful girls only go for guys who are assholes? Why do all the guys only go for the beautiful girls who only go for assholes? P.S. You might want to skip the next question. Is it normal for girls to orgasm from dry humping alone? Many girls learn to masturbate by grinding their crotches/clits against something--a pillow, typically--and dry humping is a pretty effective way to recreate that particular sensation, i.e., it provides her with the intense, direct clitoral stimulation she needs to get off. Can you get AIDS or an STI from a dead body? Just wondering. This is one of the two questions that stumped me. I promised to get an answer, and here it is: "As long as this isn't a thinly veiled necrophilia question, the answer is no," says Caitlin Doughty, a mortician, founder of the Order of the Good Death, and the star of the popular, hilarious, and informative "Ask a Mortician" YouTube video series. "When the AIDS epidemic fi rst hit in the '80s, there were terrible stories about funeral homes that would charge more for bodies with HIV/AIDS or flat out tell the family the body was a threat and needed to be cremated immediately. Thankfully, that's now considered wildly unethical and incorrect. Unless you're an embalmer or coroner and dealing closely with all manner of fresh corpse fluids, there should be almost zero risk to you." Is it okay to want to be single for 15 more years? More and more people are delaying marriage or remaining single--you might want to read Hanna Rosin's The End of Men and Eric Klinenberg's Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone --so yeah, it's okay. It's generally okay to make your own choices and live your own life. Should I not have sex with my best friend's babydaddy even though he was my boyfriend before he was hers and we were about to get back together before I found out my best friend was pregnant? Yes, you should not. Why can some girls only orgasm on top? Because the angle of penetration provides them with the direct, intense clitoral stimulation they need to get off. Do you have any advice for non-openly-gay people at a school where gays are almost nonexistent? Recognize that you're part of the problem. The non-openly-gay people at your school--you and the other closeted gays--create a negative nonexistence feedback loop. You don't come out because no one's out, and no one comes out because you're not out. My advice: If you're in a position to come out, come out. If you're not in a position to come out, make plans to get to a place where you can come out. And in the meantime, refrain from whining about a problem that your choices and/or limitations contribute to creating. Can you come out your butt? Um, sure, but only if someone else came in it fi rst--and no one should be coming in your butt without a condom on his dick. How do you tell someone that they are bad at sex? You don't. You tell someone that there are particular ways you like to be touched/ kissed/fucked/bound/whatever and you encourage someone to touch/kiss/fuck/whip/ bind you in those particular ways. Hopefully this will lead to someone getting better at sex over a few months. If someone doesn't get better at sex in that time frame, well, then someone either is incapable of getting better at sex or doesn't care that you're unhappy with the sex, and it's time to dump someone. Can you get a yeast infection from licking a yeast infection? Another stumper, another guest expert: "Wet folds are a great place for yeast to grow," says Dr. Anna Kaminski, associate medical director for Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest, "especially if other things are a little out of JOE NEWTON balance. For example, a woman might be more prone to yeast infections due to other things in the vagina--spermicide, blood, antibiotic-induced changes in vaginal pH balance, or hormonal changes. But mouths are really good at keeping yeast in check. So it would be unusual for a person to get a yeast infection orally--unless you suffer from something that predisposes you to oral yeast infections, e.g., you are on antibiotics, you are immunocompromised, you have bad oral hygiene." If a guy asks a girl if she wants to have anal sex, is he curious about gay sex? No. Why do straight guys like doggie-style so much? Because they're gay. Why do guys think threesomes are so amazing? Because they are--especially the gay ones. I'm a guy who does not find guys physically attractive. Even so, I like to give and receive blowjobs with men. Does this mean anything about my sexual orientation? Yes. I've always considered myself a lesbian, but a few weeks ago, I got really drunk and slept with one of my male best friends. Am I not a lesbian? Female sexuality is a lot more fluid, as they say, and many lesbian-identified women have slept with men. Your sexuality identity--the label you choose to apply to yourself--should communicate the essential truth about your sexual interests and partner preferences. So you're free to identify as a lesbian even if you slip and fall on the occasional dick. Who is your dream guy? Janice from the Muppets with a dick. Okay, Radford, that was fun, but we're out of room. Thanks for the invite and the great event! Find the Savage Lovecast at thestranger.com/savage. email@example.com @fakedansavage on Twitter 48 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com ITELEVISION Top Five Super Dicks by Wm.TM Steven Humphrey HERE ARE THE top five superhero dicks in ascending order of dickishness: 5. Batman--Total... dick. First, he calls himself the "world's greatest detective." Umm... Encyclopedia Brown is the world's greatest detective, dick! Batman may be the world's greatest "brooder," though. Look, I'm sorry his parents died and all, but (a) I'm pretty sure that doesn't give him license to become a vigilante sociopath who skulks around at night beating people up, and (b) HE'S RICH. Things cannot be that bad! Turn that bat-frown upside down, Grumpy Gus! 4. Iron Man--ALSO RICH... ALSO A DICK ! And Tony Stark can't even blame his dickishness on mental illness. That's because Iron Man is the "Donald Trump of Superheroes": constantly flaunting his wealth in front of the other Avengers... strutting around in fancy (iron) suits... and while other heroes are setting good examples for kids--he's drinking himself into oblivion! Who does he think he is?! ME?!? 3. Superman--"Waitasecond, HumpyDump!" I hear you cry. "Superman is not a dick--he's totally nice and boring!" Au contraire, mon fr�re! Check out the awesomely hilarious superdickery.com, which features classic comic book renderings of Superman totally dicking out. He's seen sexually threatening Wonder Girl, handing Lois Lane over to evil aliens, beating the crap out of the Flash, and telling Green Lantern, "Look Hal, you're a superhero with power ALMOST on my level.... You don't see ME involved in endless strings of personal crises. Geez, Hal, you don't even have an APARTMENT." Wow. Wotta dick! 2. Sub-Mariner--Prince Namor? More like Prince HITLER! The Sub-Mariner repeatedly states that he freaking despises the human race. Umm... excuse me, but THE HUMAN RACE BUYS YOUR STUPID COMICS, DICKHEAD! I have half a mind to send Aquaman over to kick your finny ass--except that Aquaman couldn't fight his way out of a box of fish sticks. He'd ask a trout to do it, and the trout would be TM JEREMY EATON all like, "Stick it up your blowhole, Chicken of the Sea." 1. Green Arrow--Fine, go ahead and disagree, but I hereby proclaim Green Arrow as "King of the Super Dicks." And here's why: (a) Duh... HE'S RICH! (b) He wears that douchebaggy curly beard and mustache! Join a klezmer band, freak! (c) He's a goddamn mouthy smartass. (d) His only superpower is a quiver fi lled with 15 arrows... TOPS. So after 15 shots, what good is he? Wonder Woman is getting her ass handed to her by Sinestro, while Green Arrow is Google searching the nearest sporting goods store! Nevertheless, the CW is giving this "King of the Super Dicks" his own show debuting this week called Arrow (Wed Oct 10, 8 pm). Looking to fill the sexy hole vacated by Smallville, Arrow tells the story of rich Oliver Queen who, after being shipwrecked on a dangerous island for a year, returns to the city to devote his money and newfound wicked archery skillz to protecting the innocent. This show promises to be a much darker and action-packed version than we're used to--so don't be a dick! Check it out! (By the way, did I leave any superhero dicks off my list? Be sure to contact me at no onewantsyourstupidopinion,dick.com.) This Week on Television THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4 8:00 NBC 30 ROCK Season premiere! The gang returns from hiatus, and... OMG!! What has Jack done to the fall lineup? 9:30 NBC PARKS AND RECREATION Leslie helps a swim team. (Place your bets! How many people drown in this episode?) 9:00 ABC REVENGE Emily tries to sneak her way back into the Graysons' life, because... you know... REVENGE!! MONDAY, OCTOBER 8 9:00 CW GOSSIP GIRL Season premiere! Nate reignites his battle with Gossip Girl. (Note to Nate: The internet always wins.) FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5 9:00 FOX FRINGE The Fringe team comes up with a new idea to stop the Observer overlords. (Have they actually given these overlords a chance?) TUESDAY, OCTOBER 9 9:00 CW DR. HORRIBLE'S SING-ALONG BLOG The hilarious Joss Whedon web mini-series... for those who have never heard of the internet. 9:30 FOX THE MINDY PROJECT Mindy asks Danny to be her new gynecologist. (Can you use a speculum to relieve AWKWARD?) SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6 9:00 PBS AUSTIN CITY LIMITS Season premiere! A taped concert featuring Radiohead performing songs from The King of Limbs. 11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Hosted by 007 Daniel Craig--who most definitely better TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF. Ticke On Satls Now! e WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10 8:00 CW ARROW Debut! A rich guy learns how to shoot arrows in order to fight crime. (He already knew how to be a dick.) 10:00 ABC NASHVILLE Debut! Connie Britton stars as a C&W star forced to move aside for a new young b-hole! SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7 8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS In "Treehouse of Horror XXIII," Marge makes a pact with the devil to keep this show on the air for another 20 years. King of the Twitter Dicks. @WmSteveHumphrey Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 49 The party doesn't stop when the bars close....... We party all night until the sun comes up with Portland's hottest dancers. Located Downtown 324 SW 3rd Ave. 503-274-1900 Open M-F at 2pm & Sat/Sun at 6pm Portland Salem 503.299.9911 503.689.8080 JORDAN 18 and over Strip Club FREE to listen & reply to ads! FREE CODE: Portland Mercury For other local numbers call: 1-888-MegaMatesTM 24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ �2012 PC LLC 2349 things from another world and the portland mercury present: THE CORTANDFATBOY MIDNIGHT MOVIE: POLTERGEIST BAGDAD THEATER � 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland OR art by thethomaswilson.com 50 Portland Mercury October 4, 2012 October 5th � doors at 10pm, film at 11pm � $3 admission, 21 & over MAAKIES // TONY MILLIONAIRE Tony Millionaire's work is published by Dark Horse Comics and online at maakies.com DINOSAUR COMICS // RYAN NORTH Ryan North has daily comics available at qwantz.com ILLUSTRATION BY KALAH ALLEN BLOODY BUDDY Whoever lived in my house before me appears to have fed a big-ass raccoon, probably regularly. I know this because there is a homemade "nest" in my backyard tree and other evidence that he was welcome here. I continued the tradition, and have grown fond of "Buddy." Then you two moved in next door at the beginning of summer and worked on renovating your new house for months. I had no idea that you had gotten chickens recently, honestly. I would have warned you about Buddy. The other night I was up late and I heard something that sounded like a catfight. It wasn't. It was worse. I went outside and heard a smaller-sounding thing screaming, and then I saw Buddy running along the fence top with a bloody bird in his mouth. Then I realized, fuck telling you about Buddy. You didn't check in with me and see if I was down with you guys having chickens. But, should you read this, you might want to house that goat overnight.--Anonymous Submit your unsigned confessions and accusations of 300 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to "I, Anonymous," at firstname.lastname@example.org, or on the new I, Anonymous blog at portlandmercury.com. UNDERWORLD // KAZ Kaz's work is published by Fantagraphics; view his work at kazunderworld.com Submit your photos & art online at flickr.com/groups/portlandmercury Dawn Riddle IDIOT BOX // MATT BORS Matt Bors is a Portland-based political cartoonist; view his work at mattbors.com revivify imploding_ October 4, 2012 Portland Mercury 51 The Portland Mercury BULLETIN BOARD online > > > www.portlandmercury.com/backpage (503) 294-0840 FREE Consultation. PAYMENT PLANS. Scott Hutchinson, Atty. Since 1997. Experienced Debt Relief Agency. CALL (503) 808-9032 www.Hutchinson-Law.com Quick Fix Synthetic Urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products & vaporizers. BANKRUPTCY - Stop Creditors Revived Cellular & Technology Monday-Friday 10:30 - 7:00, Saturday 11:00 - 5:00 7816 N Interstate Ave - near Fred Meyer 503-286-1527 Vaporizers, hookahs, glass pipes, tobacco, gift items SELL US YOUR USED CELL PHONES SALVIA AND KRATOM! SMOKE SIGNALS ON SANDY TOBACCO FOR LESS INC Still Smokin' Tobacco For Less 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219 7720 SE 82nd Ave Adult Movies, Video Arcade and PIPES! Molly pills, Kratom Detox 503-774-5544 3554 NE SANDY BLVD. 503-235-0504 KRATOM, VAPORIZERS, PIPES, HOOKAHS GOOGLE TO SEE INSIDE STORE 4071 NE SANDY BLVD 503-327-8276 Area 69 ** CASH FOR GUITARS ** Amps, Pedals, Synths, Drums Call 503-236-CASH (2274) Glass & Cheap Smokes 1971 W Burnside 503-206-7353 Smoke Shop Tokens Don't let collectors drive you into bankruptcy and other desperate acts Get this book for ten bucks and keep it by your phone: Bill-Collector Confidential by ex-bill-collector Steve Katz. Fight back. Here's how. debtsmanship.com, 503-223-0410, email@example.com, Amazon, Kindle. ESCHEW BANKRUPTCY Most brands accepted. Local pick up. 209-269-0274 Diabetic test strips. Pay up to $22/Box WANTED! CLASSES & EVENTS Improv, Standup at the Brody Learn spontaneous theater, comedy from the specialists. For 15 years, offering qualified instruction, supportive environment. 503-224-2227 www.brodytheater.com Vasectomy * Essure Lovejoy Surgicenter 503-221-1870 Junk Cars Wanted Ask for Jake (503) 936-5923 Portland's LARGEST Garage Sale Sellers Space Available. All indoors Make Lot's of $. www.portlandgsale.com or 503-798-6117 Improv, Stand Up, Sketch Writing. Best comedy training in Portland. Register Now! Classes weekly Sept 11th through October 23rd! www.curiouscomedy.org Learn ground defense skills under black belt instruction Info @ nwfighting.com. 503-740-2666 Nov 3rd @ EXPO Center Quick Cash 1712 E. Burnside Pipes, Detox, Scales, Hookah, Shisha New Shisha Flavors! New Store Hours Mon - Sat 10 am - 9 pm! 503-206-7731 Poppi's Pipes CURIOUS COMEDY CLASSES! BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU NEW POPPIS PIPES LOCATION Coming soon 36th and SE Division Bodyhair grooming for guys by guy in NoPo. PDXadult.com Help us register voters across the state of Oregon and make sure people's voices are heard! No previous experience required. Full time and part time positions. Great political experience. Call Brandon at 503-342-2391 ACTING/FILMING CLASSES Taught by L.A Actor/Director/Producer Professional MANSCAPING 503-841-0385 JESSE VINT Enrolling Now www.jessevint.com 360-609-2200 REGISTER VOTERS Enhance awareness via moving meditation nwfighing.com or call 503-740-2666 Tai Chi Classes $10 - $12 per hour HOST YOUR EVENT HERE!! BOSSANOVA BALLROOM 722 E Burnside 503 206 7630 Bossanovaballroom.com 4119 SE Hawthorn Hawthorne, , Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473 (7473) www.mellowmood.com ll d Fresh hop beers, the mother plucker, and the French cone-ection on tap and going fast. drink 639 SE Morrison star-bar-rocks.com Get in here!! 832 N. BEECH 503-281-7708 (AT MISSISSIPPI)