I SAW U
YOU KENYAN ENGINEER ME VIDEO&DANCE
SALT AND STRAW PAPER TOWELS
You: upset the antique paper towel dispenser in the bathroom didn’t work. Me: commiserating but really trying not to go GAAAAAAH! and plop my face into a tub of ice cream, you’re that adorable. Us: dinner, more flirting, like that. When: Saturday, September 8, 2012. Where: Alberta Salt And Straw. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915129
26CAFE. BACK PATIO. CANADIAN TUXEDO.
Didn’t want to be rude and interrupt your time. But damn was I floored by your style! I’d love to take you on a date, most certainly, if I could be so honored. Me: grey sweatshirt and glasses & baby-beard. When: Monday, September 10, 2012. Where: 26 cafe. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915128
SWEET PETE ON THE MAX
I told you that I was clumsy! :-) You however were very pretty and obviously full of life and in the moment. I’d love a chance to put my other foot in my mouth and buy you drinks or dinner. When: Friday, September 7, 2012. Where: NW Portland. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915125
41ST STREET BIKE-WAY, STUNNING SMILE
You: gorgeous girl on a blue peugeot. A stunningly beautiful smile, and no reservations about eye contact. Me: Tall guy getting into my white pickup. Wish I had said something, but you were gone before I realized I should have. When: Friday, September 7, 2012. Where: SE 41st and Pine. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915124
LUNCHTIME PEARL WALK, HEADPHONES GUY Passed you, cute light-brown-haired guy with headphones, while walking near 17th & Marshall (?) with my ladyposse. Eyes met & after you passed us I checked you out; you were looking too. Please be single? (I’m the bluehaired one) When: Friday, September 7, 2012. Where: NW Portland. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915123
MORGAN AT CRAMER PSU LAB
computer lab @psu. curly hair, big glasses, kindapunkkindanot. netflix/ hulu, always FB. have a huge crush. caught your name once, even brought you flowers once but you weren’t there. coffee and talk about how much cooler nyc is than this town? When: Wednesday, May 11, 2011. Where: Computer Lab at PSU. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915122
OUTSIDE CREMA SITTING WITH IPAD
I was staring at you from the shop up the street the moment I saw you sitting in your car, and then again when you sat outside of Crema. You are super hot. When: Sunday, September 2, 2012. Where: Crema. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915121
HUNGRY TIGER BARTENDER You are the blonde (Taylor?) that used to work on Tuesdays. I came in sometimes for tacos and Tecates. You commented on my Battlestar Galactica shirt. You haven’t been there in a couple of weeks. What happened to you? When: Monday, September 3, 2012. Where: Hungry Tiger Too. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915120
DO YOU KNOW THE MUSTACHEMAN? You were the beautiful-Runner#4 at H2C-2012, wearing a ravishing orange Nike-tank, enchanting sun-kissed skin, exquisite combover. You were commonly amongst the “HasselHoffs.” I, a VanTramp Runner#1, pinkcompression-socks, regularly using a megaphone. I complimented you on your stache & beauty via-megaphone. When: Friday, August 24, 2012. Where: Hood To Coast 2012. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915108
Isaac, I met you at Holocene, you work at Intell. We talked of politics, and street signs that say “you are very cute”. I hesitated, but i’d like to see you again. I’m a dancer and a video artist. When: Saturday, September 1, 2012. Where: the Holocene. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915119
LITTLE FINGER CURL
You made a little finger curl, i made the other half. But I was so sleepy. You went dumpstering, I went to bed. At 4 in the morning I heard you ask “who lives in the rabbit hole now?” Coffeedot? When: Saturday, September 1, 2012. Where: The Singularity. You: Transsexual (male to female). Me: Man. #915118
NOT CHRISTOPHER ROBIN
Me: Real drunk, short, red lipstick, short hair, studs. You: studs, beautifulfaced tall man who smoked my friends and I out- thanks- I made a failed attempt to get your number- thought it was worth another shot. When: Friday, August 31, 2012. Where: Triple Nickel. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915115
BIKING BOY ON HAWTHORNE
OPENS BOTTLES LIKE A BOSS
Girls 4 Boys
At the Whole Foods on Burnside. You were nice enough to open my drink after I had been fighting with it for a good five or ten minutes like an idiot. Hope I see you around. When: Wednesday, August 29, 2012. Where: Whole Foods on Burnside In the Cafe. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915105
FOOD, DRINKS, BEER, FREEDOM, LOVE
Hey there, my name is Megan and I moved to Portland from southern Utah back in November of 2011. I haven’t had the best of luck meeting people up here and so I thought I would give this a try. MeganHope, 21
BEAUTIFUL @ STARBUCKS
You - dark blue dress, polka dots?, wavy med-dark hair, windowseat w/ your earphones. Me - light blue shirt, black jeans, going out the door. I told you you’re beautiful... Wish I’d said more... Just seeing you made my day. When: Thursday, August 23, 2012. Where: Starbucks on Hawthorne. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915104
MEWING IN THE NIGHT
You said you liked to walk at night but not alone. I like to walk too but not without you. Now we are singing in the rain, singing in the RAIN! Where are you going now? Please one more. ANUSHERWUN! When: Monday, August 27, 2012. Where: walking at night NoPo. You: Transsexual (male to female). Me: Man. #915102
LUNA
Did you post an ad for a red haired girl on July 6th? I was walking, you rode up next to me, asked me to get a beer with you. I was sad to say no. Still out there, somewhere? When: Friday, July 6, 2012. Where: Hawthorne. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915113
WHOLE FOODS PEARL GIRL
we were in poetry, you taught me about paper, i liked how you thumbed the corners of sheets and wrote to-do lists. catastrophic beauty in yr glance, weak in the knees, scared the shit out of me. signed, hopeless jerk When: Saturday, October 1, 2011. Where: third floor. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915101
AT THE SINGULARITY
You though I said soft spot but I meant something else. You were quite adorable yet I am not sure you are into women. I think your name is sam. Send me a msg, I am delayedreaction on mercury’s site. When: Thursday, August 30, 2012. Where: whole foods. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915112
You were so small and i was right next to you. We had coffee and walked together in the summer night. Then I wrote a nice “I saw U” add but the moderators deleted it. Mew another dot? When: Saturday, August 25, 2012. Where: s1nguLar17y. You: Transsexual (male to female). Me: Man. #915100
BIKE + BURRITO + MANBABE
HIGH DIVE PATIO, SUN NIGHT
Hawthorne food carts late Sunday night, you got a burrito on your bike and stopped by to say I looked lovely in red. You should have stayed to dine with us. Tacos and tequila sometime? When: Sunday, August 26, 2012. Where: Hawthorne Food Carts. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915111
LAST THURSDAY, GUARDINO ART GALLERY We flirted about old hammers, cherry pitters, Ikarus and a box of brassknuckles. I kept seeing you down the road. Wanted to introduce myself but didn’t want to impose on your group. You: 5’4”? beautiful brunette. Me: 5’7” shorn When: Thursday, August 30, 2012. Where: Guardino Gallery. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915110
DAN SEEKS LORIEN. NOW! Airport rendezvous. Rock-ola. I wanna be your boyfriend. You: smoking hot, stunning eyes, tattooed Portlandian. Me: Boner. Pending deportation. Map left to find me. Hold me closer Tony Danza. When: Tuesday, August 28, 2012. Where: In my dreams!. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915109
POLAR BEAR’S DAD Hey! Sorry about the dog snarling ending. We’ve met 3x now, Maybe you and Bear would want to come over for a beer? Same hood and I have a fenced in yard. That other dog was totally the culprit! When: Wednesday, August 29, 2012. Where: Alberta Park. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915107
REDHEAD AT A RED LIGHT You: Supercute redhead girl in a white Subaru wagon Me: Beardo guy in a white truck We had a few mutual smiles in front of Bridgeport Village, but lights turn green...it was 8/20/2012...I bet I could make you smile again When: Monday, August 20, 2012. Where: Bridgeport village. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915106
Simple To Respond! respond online with a membership
11:45pm Sunday - I walked by twice. You were sitting, then standing at bus table. Me: slim white guy, black longsleeve tshirt, jeans, bag, brown hair side-parted. You: slender woman, straight dark hair, cute. Eye contact only. But still... When: Sunday, August 26, 2012. Where: High Dive patio, SE 12th & Madison. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915099
CAPOEIRA IJEXA AT CRUSH You were performing and we made eye contact a couple times. I had to leave before I could talk to you. I would’ve stayed all night just to hear your voice. I can’t wait to see you perform again. When: Saturday, August 25, 2012. Where: Crush Brazil Night. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915098
INDIAN, PUPPETEER, SCREENWRITER, HIKER I am a filmmaker when not at my paid job. I’m interested in a guy who isn’t afraid to be direct, keeps committments and enjoys adventures. Two_Feathers2, 43
PARDON THE CHARM...
I’m looking for something real. i’m a laid back girly girl who loves to laugh and can charm your pants off in a g-rated way lol. If you like an honest fun and caring girl, hit me up. suchalivelything, 27
UNIQUE INTELLIGENT FUN MOMMA
You were cashiering at the Whole Foods on Fremont. Longish blonde hair and bangs and beautiful smile. I was only there for a few minutes but it was long enough for me to appreciate how you took my breath away. When: Saturday, August 25, 2012. Where: Whole Foods Fremont. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915097
SCRAP! You saw me and lingered for a bit. You scrapping drawing supplies, and made your way over to the register when I was paying. I was trying to think of something cheeky to say. Lets do something crafty? When: Friday, August 24, 2012. Where: scrap. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915096
JOE THE MESSENGER GUY! Hey cute bicycle messenger guy at Jones bar last Saturday, I really did like your dance moves! You biked away before i could work up the courage to give you my number. bike ride together? When: Saturday, August 18, 2012. Where: Jones Bar. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915093
BACK IN THE PDX GROVE Moved back from a 4 year stint in Seattle and I’m happy as hell about it! Looking for someone to play with. I’m up for anything fun..movies, bars, hikes, rides, pinball, shows.... (FYI, scared of heights and puppets). Agatha, 38
GLASS HALF FULL
I’m a fun loving, happy, outgoing, and optimistic individual looking to meet new people. I’m down to have some more Portland adventures and you’ll find out the rest when you meet me. cleste, 23
ONLY CHICK WHO DISLIKES PDX?
Well, I’m a student at PSU. I love cats, cheese, tattoos, California, and boots. Like the outdoors, hate camping. I swear I am a nice person, but I’m know to be a...sassy firecracker, if you will. calibound, 21
COFFEE, TEA, OR ME
SWEET BAKER
My friends describe me as witty, quirky, and laid back. I like roller derby, running, and the outdoors. I am looking for a guy who is kind, honest, and has a sense of humor. essara, 33
I don’t normally do this whole online dating thing but I thought I would give it a try. I moved here from Michigan, 7 years ago. It’s just me and my cats :). Littletina22, 35
EMPATHIC ANALYTIC DANCER
READY FOR A SUMMER CRUSH!
I want to swim, dance and travel. I am intelligent, creative, fit and good at lots of things. I want a partner with similar interests, who is vulnerable and self-aware, passionate and playful, loyal and responsible. fireflies333, 33
I’m a funny, sweet, attractive lady. I didn’t think I would end up here, but I did. That’s just the way life works. I’m ready to meet an attractive fun person. Hopefully have an adventure! coco le fleur, 30
GOLDILOCKS GEEK CHASER
Boys 4 Girls
I am a queer who is open to all genders and sexual orientations. I love bears and chubby furry types but my interests vary. Please be: queer friendly, body positive and generally not an asshat. freak2geek, 35
FRIENDLY, TALL, AND SHY
I’m 19, and single. I lived in the Portland area all my life. Just moved to downtown about a year ago. I never dated before and I’m Looking for a super sweet and cute man to be with. pearllover, 19
DOES ANYBODY ACTUALLY DO THIS?
My friends say that if a sailor and a trucker were to get together and have a baby, that baby would be my mouth. TapiocaPearl, 34
Smart, nice, funny Tolkien fan seeks someone who reads & thinks & feels. Someone who wants to play board games or catch a show. Have an opinion about original Trek vrs. TNG? This might be you. (Batting my eyes.). lalalanilu, 39
CAREENED OFF ROAD, MAROONED HERE “It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.” Shirley MacLaine. DirtyHands, 37
SO GLAD TO BE HERE! I’m returning to Portland in midSeptember to begin the next chapter in my life. I am excited because I love change and meeting new people. I’m always looking to learn new things. Teach me, and I’ll make you food! copper87, 24
KIND OF A BIG DEAL Just lookin for a good one (honest, kind, funny) to have fun with! I’m into the usual Portland pastimes--cocktails, coffee, culture...and whatever else is thought-provoking or life-enriching. missoptimism, 33
LOOKING FOR YOU...
I went to the UofO and am a HUGE Duck fan! I am a musician and spend lots of time playing guitar and listening to music. Sports are a big passion too and I love being active and getting exercise. Duckfan37, 37
GNARLY KILLER COUNTRY, SUGGESTIONS? I am wondering what it takes to make this work. Will you contact me? Will I respond? These questions require one course of action to be answered. themirrorhas2sides, 27
ACTIVE CLASSY NERD DONE GOOD
SCIENTIFIC ROMANCE, PLASTIC AND CLEAN
If you have a sick sense of humor and are kind of a perv, I am incredibly fun to be around, because I’m the same and I do it well. fresh_produce, 31
HOLA, COMO ESTAS?
I’m a chill, creative, dude who loves to laugh and connect to people with the same sensibilities. I’m hoping to find a really cool girl who wants to maybe artjam and/or be my muse. No expectations, just quantum entanglement. MrTebes, 28
DRIVEN, PASSIONATE, CHILL INTENSITY
I love science fiction and fantasy books, science, fitness, school and my career, and I’m looking for someone who is interested in science and wants to work out with me and go out on the town! Salochin, 22
A BODY IN MOTION...
...stays in motion. I am always doing something, though sometimes I seem to get nothing actually done. You- well, you tell me. You are amazing, and wonderful. Tell me your story, you know it far far better than I do. Woodsybear, 41
ME JUST HAPPY ROBOT
I am a creative, smart, slightly peculiar individual that likes to have fun, see live bands, and generally have as much fun as possible. monkeypirate, 37
LOVE IS JUST A BLOODSPORT.
Hi. I could tell you about myself, but that would be cheating :) What im looking for is simple but hard. A cool chick with a great sense of humor and terrific chemistry. tuxedocat, 31
SUPER CHILL SURFER VIBE
hi I just moved to portland from this little island out in the carribean called St. Thomas. anyway im looking for some new peeps to chill with, not necessarily a Girlfreind but if it happens cool. give me a shout. VI_King, 20
NOT YOUR AVERAGE MONKEY
I have a dog and two cats, I live alone and smoke, drink, cuss, and eat meat. I‚Äôm a little quirky, goofy, and shy, but I warm up quickly. Let’s laugh and be silly together. GhettoMacGyver, 32
EVERYDAY IS AN EXISTENTIAL ADVENTURE. I’m a bit of a nerd, but I wouldn’t consider it defining. I love to read. I often think abstractly. I like socializing over drinks. I’m a playful individual, and am down for many different types of adventure. HappinessIsAWarmGun, 26
Friendly, gets along with everyone. Looking for friends that enjoy Doctor Who, console games & Kumoricon. Wanting people for brunch, biking, hikes, group exercise, happy-hour, etc. Needing a larger social circle and a healthy relationship. Let’s make it happen, Portland! RedCycle, 29
LETS HAVE SOME CRAZY FUN
CRAVING FUN OF ALL SORTS.
Girls 4 Girls
I’m very laid back but industrious. You are the girl next door with a freaky side. If you want to have friendly fun(movie, camping, road trip, just walking around) or adult fun(finding interesting places or ways to do “it”) Great! soothedlife, 30
TEAM SHRALP I may seem reserved at times, but its just me powering up, or I’m at work with my mind turned off. My hobbies include playing music, film making, reading, writing, boating. the_rev_ stonewall, 25
DOM JUAN THE AWKWARD GIANT Anyone interested in joining in a Justice Alliance with me to talk about the world, save mankind, and leap whole pub quizzes in a single bound, please inquire within. You don’t have to be poly, but it helps. I am. BonzotheFifth, 33
Alright here we go...I am a very outgoing, funny, fun type of guy that goes with the flow...I am honest, loving n I’m looking for a lovely female to ride the this life with me, also looking for fun. crazyfunB, 37
FUN SWANKY DOWN GIRL I’m a young lady. I like tea, yoga, dreadlocks, roses, vietnamese food, thriftstores, blues, beer, interesting ceramics, baby animals, riding horses, and much much more. I’m interested in meeting a special girl to share myself with and have crazy fun. HoneysilkTea, 20
A LITTLE BIT OF ALOT I love to get out and have fun. Would love to find someone to share love and romance with, but also awesome new friends. Walking, sharing food and beverages. I love nature and plants! Serenewaters, 39
AWESOMELY WITTY YET SHY I am one cool cat. Tattooed and awesome. Shy and funny. I can make fun of anything! Sugarship, 31
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www.mercurylovelab.com* 54 Portland Mercury September 13, 2012
Joyful and enthusiastic sex machine with a golden tongue, and a sweet nature. I seek an reliable ongoing NSA. You would host. This is my first personal ad. No endless emails please. Be real. Male nurse? HOT! vivianneanais, 42
I have not dated much for awhile but figure it’s about time. I would like to meet an honest man who doesn’t consider himself a hipster or a player but is also not a square. djinn, 41
BIG KOOKIE LADY WANTS FRIEND.
BREATHTAKING BEAUTY AT WHOLE FOODS
HOT WOMAN FOR COOL GUY
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