The Portland Mercury, August 30, 2012 (Vol. 13, No.15)
Portland's Most Awesome Weekly Newspaper. Covering Portland news, politics, music, film, and arts; plus movie times, club calendars, restaurant listings, forums and blogs.
FREE EVERY THURSDAY / VOL � 13 NO � 15 / August 30-September 5, 2012 / Trust us! We've got the least to lose! YOUR RED-HOT TIME-BASED ART FESTIVAL! GUIDE TO THE FOOD NEWS FILM LUCE: AMERICA'S (AND PORTLAND'S) DARLING P. 35 SUICIDE HOTLINE GETS SHOVE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION P. 7 LAWLESS: TOM HARDY'S BRASS KNUCKLES + YOUR FACE P. 37 for A fuLL schEduLE vIsIT WWW.mIKEThrAshErprEsEnTs.com foLLoW us onLInE AT: fAcEBooK.com/mIKEThrAshErprEsEnTs TWITTEr.com/mIKEThrAshErpdX � WWW.myspAcE.com/mIKEThrAshErprEsEnTs H A W T H O R N E TONiTE T H E A T E R THu AuG 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 30 fRi AuG 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id FISHBONE THE SENTiMENTS SAT SEpT kiNGDOM uNDER fiRE & NEVER AWAkE DiRTNAp 31 THE LONGSHOTS THE SiNDiCATE & NiGHTRAiN MyChildren MyBride MON ThIs C R Y ThIs S fRi T A WiTCHBuRN L NEMESiS B SEpARATiON Of SANiTY A & GuiLLOTiNE L L R O O M & DAuGHN GiBSON ThIs fRi fRi AuG BETRAYAL LiONS LiONS fAMOuS LAST WORDS & VERAH fALLS 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 31 R O S E L A N D T H E A T E R SAT SEpT 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 15 21 AND OVER SHOW! SAT ThIs 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 1 & DEATH ANGEL THu SEpT 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id MON SEp 3 20 AMERAkiN OVERDOSE STONECREEp & DEATH RiDE 2000 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id TOxiC ZOMBiE MON SEp SuN SEp 9 POWERMAN 5000 ABOVE THE BROkEN & WHEN THEY iNVADE 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 6:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 10 TuE SEp 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id THe MASTerMInd BeHInd SYSTeM OF A dOwn MOONSORROW � TYR METSATOLL � ANONYMiA 25 & ViZA WED SEp TuE SEpT 11 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 12 DAVEY SuiCiDE & AMERAkiN OVERDOSE THE BROWNiNG LEfT SpiNE DOWN THE GENTRY H THE MY LIFE WIT 21 AND OVER SHOW! & ADRiAN H AND THE WOuNDS fRi SEp & THE RODEO CLOWNS 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id THRILL KILL KULT 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 14 SAT SEp 15 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id TuE OCT 2 & WEHRMACHT SWALLOW THE SuN SuN SEpT 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 23 odd future wolf gang kill them all 21 AND OVER SHOW! & fORREST DAY 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SuN SEp 16 & MELODY'S ECHO CHAMBER 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SuN OCT 21 WED SEpT fRi SEp 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 21 SuN SEp 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 23 8:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 26 503-224-TIXX fRiENDS � ST. LuCiA 8 nw SIXTH Avenue SAT SEp 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 22 TuE SEp & THROuGH THE ROOTS 21 AND OVER SHOW! 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 25 A nIGhT of sLEAzE... ONE-EYED DOLL VEiO & SEpARATiON Of SANiTY William Elliott BuTCHER BABiES Whitmore SAMANTHA CRAiN & RYAN SOLLEE of ThE BuILdErs And ThE BuTchErs BLACkpuSSY & WOLfpuSSY 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id SuN SEp 7:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 30 21 AND OVER SHOW! 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 1332 w BurnSIde ST 855-CAS-TIXX X2 SuN NOV 4 CAT POWER 855-CAS-TIXX X2 W O N D E R B A L L R O O M 7:30pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id TuE SEp 18 fRi OCT 12 WERMACHT & RENDERED uSELESS 1 5 0 7 S e 3 9 T H A v e n u e The Asteroids Galaxy Tour fRi OCT 8:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id 26 D A N T E S fRi SEp 8:00pm doors 21 And ovEr 28 7:00pm doors ALL AGEs BAr W/propEr Id THu OCT 11 & AMBASSADORS 855-CAS-TIXX X2 1 Sw 3rd Avenue LETLiVE & MATT TOkA 128 ne ruSSeLL ST 877.4.FLY.TIX i SEE STARS COMiNG SOON: my mornInG JAcKET � c-monEy (fT. mEmBErs of sLIGhTLy sToopId) � AnImAL coLLEcTIvE � m. WArd � sAfETy suIT � hoT WATEr musIc � AWoL nATIon � sWITchfooT ImpErATIvE rEAcTIon � morBId AnGEL � cIrcA survIvE � ABAndon ALL shIps � JEff ThE BroThErhood � LEss ThAn JAKE/rEEL BIG fIsh � con Bro chILL � ALEsAnA mEdIcInE for ThE pEopLE � TAKInG BAcK sundAy � BroThEr ALI � omAr rodrIGuEz-LopEz Group � moTIon cITy soundTrAcK � dAn dEAcon � ALL TImE LoW www.mikethrasherpresents.com for complete details and info on how to get your tickets early go to 2 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 firstname.lastname@example.org LETTERS MAY BE EDITED FOR SPACE NOTES SUZETTE SMITH THE LEAST TO LOSE RE: "Portland's Latest Water War" [News, Aug 23] regarding the controversial push to fluoridate Portland's water supply. TO THE PORTLAND MERCURY WEEKLY--As a widowed grandmother with children and grandchildren now numbering eight in total, I would like to thank you for objectively covering the fluoridation of Portland's water proposed by Commissioner Randy Leonard. Admittedly, I am 100 percent against doping my grandchildren's water supply. While looking for coverage to support my own bias, I have found Denis Theriault's article to be the only balanced local account of this issue. I cannot say I approve of or understand much of what your periodical publishes, but age has shown me that we might put more trust in news sources with the least to lose. I have read the other local weekly's tacit support of fluoridation and have been told they often act as a mouthpiece for the metro area's corrupt elite. That certainly seems to be the case here. Genevieve V. Bielski Horton DEAR SIR--For some reason I read your piece and now I have to respond to it. I know being in the media gives you a license to twist the truth whichever suits your purpose, but when you start in on the Holy Bible and crank up the media twist machine, please have some knowledge of what you are talking about. You used 1 Tim 2:12, for example. Well, the meaning of that verse was Paul simply cautioning women (and men) to learn about the scriptures with an attitude or manner of silence. He was NOT saying that a woman had no say or to be submissive to men. You also mentioned Psalm 137, "Happiness and smashing of babies on the rocks." Once again you cranked up the media twist machine and got that all wrong, or at least implied the reason the Jews were happy (in your words, smashing babies on the rocks). My friend, you cannot take a verse or a poem written in the Old Testament and apply it and understand it in today's world with out having some background or knowledge of the way things were back before Christ was born. I know that this is about ratings, but be careful of the road you travel getting those ratings. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. GMundy 69 ALBANIAN SUNSET RE: "So I Saw The Expendables 2 for You Guys" [Blogtown, Aug 20], in which Film Editor Erik Henriksen briefly contends that there are no sunsets in Albania. Mission TheaTer 1624 N.W. Glisan St. � Portland � 503-223-4527 "dean obeidallah for vice president tour" Dean Obeidallah saturday, september 8 Melissa Soshani Khaled the Comic THE CRYSTAL HOTEL & BALLROOM Mike Thrasher presents CRYSTAL BALLROOM Yeasayer thur aug 30 all ages Daughn Gibson fri aug 31 all ages Chilean rapper Really? They don't have sunsets in Albania? That's weird because it is a country that's right in the Mediterranean--for those who DON'T KNOW--smack in the middle of Southeastern Europe with the most amazing sunsets at sea, mountain, lake, rivers. It might have been a VERY poor country-- what do you expect after living 50 years under a communist tyranny? They have the best they could, trying to learn everything from the beginning. Think of it this way: AlDOGGED RE: "Weenie Dog Week" [I Love Television, bania was revived after being 50 years in a Aug 9], in which author Wm. Steven Hum- coma, and has to learn everything as a newphrey suggests a weenie-dog alternative to born, so don't go make fun of Albanians and Shark Week, arguing that weenie dogs are Albania. It is a shame that it is being used as far more vicious. It is pretty clearly intend- the backdrop for a lot of crime-infested movies, the least you could do is [not] slander the ed to be humorous. populace and the God-given sunsets. posted by Rezarta Dyryzi-Zotaj Traveling through Portland, I came across your publication. On pg. 49 is the statement (intended to be humorous, I CONGRATULATIONS TO REZARTA think), "Because of their German descent, for that convincing defense of the Alnot only do they despise Jews and homo- banian sunset! Your firm grasp of gesexuals, they hate all races." The "they" in ography has earned you two tickets the article refers to a breed of dogs. I think to the Laurelhurst Theater, where the your editor really screwed up big time when Albanian sunset shall never be disrehe or she allowed this sentence to appear. It spected in such a fashion ever again. is really offensive. COVER ART: Tom Brown 80s VIDEO Ana DANCE ATTACK T ijoux FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 LOLA'S ROOM SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 CRYSTAL BALLROOM Tope sun sept 2 21 & over lola's room 8 PM $5 21+OVER WITH VJ KITTYROX proud participant in... wed sept 12 21 & over McMenamins and KUPL present WEDNESDAY�SAturDAY, SEptEmbEr 5�8 passion pit � helio sequence tallest man on earth � radiation city hosannas and more! musicfestnw.com for more info Matisyahu Dirty Heads Pacific Dub Aladdin Theater presents YACHT thur sept 13 all ages sat sept 22 all ages Photo by THE MEDIA TWIST MACHINE! RE: "I Love Christian Conservatives!" [I Love Television, Aug 23], in which the author doth quote scripture in order to lure in new Christian readers. portlandmercury.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Wm. Steven Humphrey MANAGING EDITOR Marjorie Skinner NEWS Denis C. Theriault, Sarah Mirk SENIOR EDITOR Erik Henriksen MUSIC Ned Lannamann ARTS/WEB EDITOR Alison Hallett FOOD Chris Onstad COPY CHIEF Courtney Ferguson CALENDAR Bobby Roberts PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Davis SENIOR DESIGNER Nick Olmstead AD DESIGNER Nami Bigos ART DIRECTOR Justin "Scrappers" Morrison Alin Dragulin alindragulin.com Paint & Fire by 9/14 Remember! Tickets are available for online purchase up to one hour after show time. Buy from your mobile and pick up at will call! buckethead 9/15 90s dance flashback-lola's 9/20 animal collective chevelle 9/28 joss stone 9/30 citizen cope 10/2 nightwish 10/3 shpongle 10/4 glen hansard 10/5 calobo 10/7 alanis morissette 10/10 gossip 10/11 macklemore 10/16 joshua radin & a fine frenzy 10/18 switchfoot 10/21 two door cinema club 10/22 mayer hawthorne 10/23 wolfgang gartner 10/28 all-american rejects 10/30 toadies/helmet 11/1 orquesta aragon 11/21 walk the moon 9/25 Steve Mathews thelongofit.blogspot.com 115 SW Ash St., Suite 600 Portland, OR 97204 � 503-294-0840 � email@example.com INTERNS Nathan Gilles, Zibby Pillote, Toby Robboy DIRECTOR OF CIRCULATION Jay Williams SALES DIRECTOR Rob Thompson SALES COORDINATOR Tonya Ray DIGITAL SALES MANAGER James Deeley ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Sarah Elliott, Katie Peifer, Marissa Sullivan ALTPERKS OPERATIONS MANAGER Michelle David OFFICE MANAGER Noah Dunham GENERAL MANAGER Katie Lake PUBLISHER Rob Crocker danceonair.com Ballroom: 1332 W. Burnside � (503) 225-0047 � Hotel: 303 S.W. 12th Ave � (503) 972-2670 mcmenamins.com CASCADE TICKETS cascadetickets.com 1-855-CAS-TIXX outlets: crystal ballroom box office, bagdad theater, edgefield, east 19th st. caf� (eugene) August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 3 10 YEARS OF TIMEBASED ART CONTEMPORARY VISUAL ART AND PERFORMANCE FROM AROUND THE WORLD SEPTEMBER 6-16, 2012 ALL OVER PORTLAND Visit pica.org to discover this year's artists and buy your tickets. 4 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 Insertion: 8-23-12 Creative Director: Mark Ray ONE DAY AT A TIME KRISTIAN DONALDSON YOU HAVE ONE MONTH TO FINISH YOUR DIRTY MOVIE... AND MAYBE WIN $5,000 AT THE WEEK IN REVIEW by Ann Romano And now it's time for the "Lindsay Lohan Legal Tip of the Day." TMZ tells us that LiLo is being seriously eyeballed by police for an incident that went down this past weekend at a posh Hollywood Hills party in which the owner was robbed of "several expensive watches and sunglasses"--and of course, Lindsay's pals are the primary suspects! The owner of the multimillion dollar mansion who was tossing the allnight soiree invited Lindsay, who in turn brought along brother Cody, her assistant, and the two allegedly skeevy suspects. Lindsay and crew were leaving the party around noon the next day (!!), when the owner suddenly discovered he'd been robbed, and told everyone to stay until the police arrived. Now--here comes the legal advice to which everyone should always adhere: When the cops began to question Lindsay about the stolen articles, she replied, "Am I a suspect?" When the cops answered, "no," Lindsay bid them both a good day and hopped on SUSPICIOUS! the next flight out of state. NICE. (Don't be shocked! When you get into as much trouble as Lindsay, you learn a thing or two about the law.) We hold the following truth to be self-evident: American Idol is a dismal failure without the pill-popping antics of Paula Abdul. However, the show is trying to regain its "crazy as a batshit bedbug" status by hiring "crazy as a batshit bedbug" Mariah Carey as their newest judge, and paying her a whopping $18 million a year. But apparently? One bedbug is not enough. The Hollywood Reporter revealed today that Nicki Minaj--the insanely annoying rapper who sounds like a teakettle filled with helium--is close to signing on as bedbug judge BATSHIT BEDBUG number two ... which isn't making bedbug judge number one happy at all! TMZ reports that Mariah angrily "hung up the phone" upon hearing this news, because she assumed she'd be the only woman on the panel. Then Mariah became even more furiouser upon learning that young, hot Katy Perry was also offered (but refused) a judging seat--even after being offered $20 million a year. (We're getting the impression that Mariah wouldn't be happy if her judging partner was a mop and bucket.) But listen to the potentially best news of the week! American Idol has also approached Kanye West with the judging gig--who has reportedly "expressed interest." EEEEEE!! Can you imagine Kanye and Mariah judging the psychologically fragile contestants on American Idol? Those poor kids would be treated the same way Britney Spears treats a bucket of fried chicken. MONDAY, AUGUST 20 WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22 By jove, wot's all this then, guv'nah? According to TMZ, young Prince Harry was on leave from military tour in Afghanistan, when he was photographed cavorting around in the nude during a Las Vegas hotel room shindig. Quite a sticky wicket, wot? But don't get your banger in a mash just yet! According to a very British inside source, Harry was just larking about. "He's a lad!" the source said, possibly while quaffing his second Guinness of the morning. "This is just him messing about on holiday. The photos look sleazier than they are... they were just playing strip billiards." Wait... "strip billiards"? Those Brits are kinky! Unfortunately for the playboy prince, the rest of the royal family were... oh, how shall we put it? Not amused. "He got a stern tellingoff from his father, Prince Charles," a BUM-LASHER tut-tutting source told Radar Online, "as well as from the Queen, who reminded him of his responsibilities as a member of the royal family." Oh, but the bum lashing doesn't stop there! Not only did Harry get a reprimand from the commanding officer of his regiment, but according to England's Sunday Mirror, he's been given the old heave-ho by crumpet gal pal Cressida Bonas, who was reportedly "humiliated" after eyeballing the pics depicting nude Harry gadding about with an assortment of naked birds. (Luckily for Harry, "bird" is British slang for "girl.") TUESDAY, AUGUST 21 This just in: Lip-biting Twilight cheat Kristen Stewart has been spotted in public! The young starlet who was photographed in an icky embrace with her much older Snow White director has been out of the public eye since being kicked out of her shared home with longtime boy-toy Robert Pattinson. (She was probably pretty busy chewing her lip and sobbing inconsolably.) But today she was spotted on the streets of Los Angeles wearing... wait. RPat's baseball cap, backpack, and the ring he gave her? "Rob's not sure what she's trying to prove," said an anonymous RPat pal about the pic. "It's got him wondering what kind of mind games she's playing." Allow us to give you a hint, dear. Wearing your ex-boyfriend's things isn't "a mind game"--but if she covers her entire body in pale, glittery makeup and begins drinking blood? Start worrying. THURSDAY, AUGUST 23 That's right! You have just over one month th left to submit your entry for America's sweetest homegrown porn festival, HUMP! 2012! Amateur filmmakers from all over the Northwest are frantically putting the final sexy touches on their five-minute-long homemade dirty movie--all in hopes of making the final cut for the HUMP! film festival coming to Portland in early November! If you haven't attended HUMP! before, ask anyone who has and they'll tell you there's nothing quite like a theater full of happy, shrieking, laughing people watching porn together. BUT! How are you going to show off your stuff and possibly win the grand prize of $5,000, if you don't enter? The submission deadline for HUMP! 2012 is 5 pm on Friday, October 5... which is just a little over a month away! Look, we know you can do it. Portland boasts the sexiest, horniest, most creative people in the world. So grab your video camera, your sexiest friends or lovers, and make a quick and dirty five-minute-max home movie that can be hardcore, softcore, live action, animated, kinky, vanilla, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, genderqueer... just about anything! (Except poop, animals, and minors, of course.) And don't worry, all copies of your film will be destroyed onstage after the final showing. We want you to be a porn star for a weekend--not a lifetime! Plus we'll be giving away big $1,000 cash prizes in each of the following categories: "Best Humor," "Best Sex," "Best Kink"--plus a whopping $5,000 for "Best in Show"! Find out all the rules, regulations, and technical requirements at portlandmercury.com/hump--and hurry! Like your exboyfriend, OCTOBER 5 IS COMING FAST! HUMP! 2012: THE SEXIEST HOMETOWN PORN FESTIVAL EVER. has now broken up with Perry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift, and Jennifer Aniston. And yet: John Mayer is not attractive. Truly, this is one of the great mysteries of our age. "I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours," Lance Armstrong insisted yesterday as he finally gave up his fight against accusations he used performanceenhancing drugs. While Armstrong said he'd grown sick of the "charade" and "witch hunt," his surrender stripped him of his seven Tour de France titles and his bronze medal from the 2000 Olympics. IN RELATED NEWS... Hubby Kip has defiantly written the following on the whiteboard on the fridge: "I know who won Mass Effect 3 for the seventh time, all my Xbox friends know who won Mass Effect 3 for the seventh time, EVERYONE knows who won Mass Effect 3 for the seventh time," he wrote, followed by, "just so we're clear, Annie, its me!" MEANWHILE... John Mayer has dumped Katy Perry. "She is making it seem like it wasn't serious with John, but she is hurt," a source tells Us. To provide perspective, Yahoo! OMG notes that Mayer FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 Mitt Romney is using "a secretive datamining project that sifts through Americans' personal information--including their purchasing history and church attendance-- to identify new and wealthy donors," the Guardian reports. Yes, this is exactly as creepy as it sounds. SPEAKING OF CREEPS... Right-wingers are preparing for next week's Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida! "The party platform is likely to embrace a tough anti-abortion stance and strict curbs on immigration," the New York Times reports, adding that some Republican leaders fear they're "becoming a smaller, older, whiter, and more male party." Smaller? Maybe. But it'd be impossible for Republicans to get any older, whiter, or more male. MEANWHILE... The first man on the moon, Neil Armstrong, died at age 82 today. It's not an exaggeration to say that Armstrong's "giant leap for mankind" inspired an entire planet-- including, most likely, Bill Nye the Science Guy, who raised the ire of biblethumpers when a video of him discussing evolution went viral this weekend. "Your world just becomes fantastically complicated when you don't believe in evolution," Nye pointed out. "I say to the grownups, if you want to deny evolution, and live in your world that's completely inconsistent with the world we observe, that's fine. But don't make your kids do it. Because we need them. We need scientifically literate voters and taxpayers for the future. We need engineers that can build stuff, solve problems." People, like, say, Neil Armstrong. SATURDAY, AUGUST 25 Here's a terrifying thought: Rihanna Kardashian. The somewhat-less-than-bright singer--who, just last week, told Oprah that she still cared for Chris Brown, the man who brutally beat her--went on a date this weekend! Alas, it was with Rob Kardashian, a member of the anus-clenchingly horrid Kardashian family... and a man who already has a girlfriend. You sure know how to pick 'em, Ri-Ri. MEANWHILE... Shia LaBeouf is vowing only to work with auteurs like Lars von Trier, Robert Redford, and John Hillcoat, who directed the star's latest film, Lawless. LaBeef says he's done with studios, characterizing them as financiers who "give you the money, then get on a plane and come to the set and stick a finger up your ass and chase you around for five months." Thanks for the visual, Shia. We look forward to your inevitable return in Transformers 4. SORRY TO END THE WEEK ON A BUZZKILL... and this is so the last thing we want MOMMY DEAREST to dwell on, but here's the tweet Snooki sent out today: "I am SO IN LOVE with my son Lorenzo Dominic ! I had my little man last night, healthy at 6lbs! HE'S MY WORLD! " Snooki's publicist, meanwhile, sent out a press release: " The world just got another Guido!!! " Dears, the End of Days has come. You might know it by its other name: Jersey Shore: The Next Generation . SUNDAY, AUGUST 26 WIN TIX FOR DAVID BYRNE & ST. VINCENT HALF OFF RECORDS & TAPES! PORTLANDMERCURY .COM THIS WEEK ON END HITS! THURSDAY! MERCPER KS.C OM BLOGTOWN! FRIDAY! WIN A TBA IMMERSION PASS! August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 5 Comment on this story at portlandmercury.com doubletee.com / roselandpdx.com Red Cube, disCo and aeP PResent: AARON WATSON NEW COUNTRY! SEPT 2nd � roSEland � 9Pm � all agES Soul'd Out & Double Tee Present SUNDAY NITE! Sept 13th � peter'S room@roSeland � 8pm � all ageS Fri Sept 14 � roSeland 9pm � all ageS Alt-J SEPT 18Th � STar ThEaTEr � 9Pm � 21+ Root Jack with AvAilABle NoW Sept 18th � alberta roSe theater � 8pm � 21+ September 25th � 8pm � roSeland � all ageS grouplovemusic.com STEPHEN MARLEY IN CONCERT Screaming Females Sept 26th � Wonder ballroom � 7:30pm � all ageS and special guests hatebreed.com � whitechapelband.com � allshallperish.com all shall perish � deez nuts New album "Not Your Kind Of People" Available Now � garbage.com SepTember 27Th � 8pm roSelAnd � 21+ AUGUST � roSelAnd � 8pm � 21+AGeS ocT 2nd20Th � roSelAnd � 8pm � All plays Sat october 6th � roSeland � 8pm 21+ Purchase tickets at 1-800-745-3000 or at ticketmaster.com ocT 30Th � roSelAnd � 8pm � All AGeS noV 14Th � roSEland � 8Pm � all agES advance ticketS through all ticketSWeSt locationS, SaFeWay, muSic millennium. to charge by phone pleaSe call 503.224.8499 6 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 Comment on these stories at portlandmercury.com NEWS The Right Kind of Help HEEDING CALLS by advocates to find new ways to keep police officers and publicsafety dispatchers out of the very touchy suicide-response business, this fall Portland officials are moving forward with yet another initiative meant to divert mental-health calls from 911. On Wednesday, August 29, Portland City Council was expected to spend $150,000 to shore up the suicide prevention services offered by Lines for Life (formerly known as the Oregon Partnership). The sixmonth program will help the nonprofit roll out a new hotline that government officials, ministers, and leaders in the queer community will all promote as the first and best number to call--not 911--for someone in crisis. Final details will be released in a few more weeks--just in time to mark Suicide Prevention Awareness Month--and skeptics already are coming forward. But if the project is successful, it could prompt even deeper changes in the way suicide calls are handled in Portland. "The hope is people will call this number instead of 911," says Commissioner Amanda Fritz, who oversees the city's 911 dispatchers and who helped push for the grant along with Mayor Sam Adams. "Their staff and volunteers have extensive training in risk assessment and counseling. Our operators get some training, but not nearly to the same extent." The shift comes as traditional safetynet services for the mentally ill unravel in the face of budget cuts, contributing to a doubling, just over the past decade, in the City Takes Another Step Toward Easing Cops out of the Suicide Business by Denis C. Theriault number of suicide calls handled by Portland police. The perils of that dynamic came into focus earlier this year when Portland police officers wound up shooting a suicidal man atop a downtown parking garage ["This Just Isn't Working," News, Feb 2]. "non-threatening" ones over to Multnomah County's crisis call center. County and city officials both confirm that hundreds of calls have been diverted from 911 to the county since that program started on May 30. Meanwhile, the police bureau also has tentative plans to create its own mental health reporting unit. "We just put a lot of time and energy into making a go of the county program," says Jason Renaud of the Mental Health Association of Portland. "This sounds like a competitive, confusing scenario." City officials, including the mayor, agree the goal should be one suicide hotline number. It could be, however, that the city is already thinking of ending its 911 relationship with the county. Which would leave the Lines for Life project as the city's main focus. NICK PATTON David Austin, a spokesman for Lines for Life claims that 98 percent of its Multnomah County, says it's too early to calls--more than 17,000 last year--are solved draw conclusions about the success of the without help from cops. Tom Parker, a spokes- program after just a few months. Both sides man for the nonprofit, says that's because its are supposed to step back in November and volunteers can do things that 911 dispatchers see if they want to deepen the relationship. can't do: take calls that involve a weapon or But sources in city hall tell the Mercury that the prospect of imminent harm, and spend as officials are cooling on the arrangement. long as it takes until a call "de-escalates." Fritz says the Portland Bureau of EmerAll that said, the project isn't without de- gency Communications would review both tractors. Some advocates worry the city will projects next year. Asked about the chance send mixed signals about where people in that 911 dispatchers would also start sendcrisis--or loved ones worried about them-- ing calls to Lines for Life instead of the should turn. county, she wouldn't rule it out. The city is already in the midst of a sepa"We may eventually get to that," she rate 911 experiment, advocates note. Under says. For now, "we're seeing how it works that project, when suicide calls do come to out. Next year, we can modify all of our 911, dispatchers are supposed to send the protocols." NEWS The Fight for a Night's Sleep by Denis C. Theriault LAST WEEK was a good week for the "sleep activist"/street guru who answers to Kernel Loose-Nut--the guy arrested this spring for the alleged crime of sleeping on a wooden pallet, and the same guy who, nine months ago, helped start the camping-ban prayer vigil outside city hall. In a Multnomah County courtroom on Thursday, August 23, the Kernel won a key victory in what's become a legal jihad against city rules that ban homeless Portlanders from erecting things like tents and tarps and other "temporary structures" in hopes of eking out a decent night's sleep despite lousy weather. The Kernel argued that the city's definition of an illegal "structure" is too vague to be consistently (and fairly) enforced, and Judge Stephen Bushong was sympathetic. He also cleared the Kernel, AKA Moses Wrosen, of interfering with a police officer--something that's difficult to do when you've gone limp in an act of civil disobedience. After court, the Kernel tweeted a celebratory picture of himself in a shirt and tie--a departure from the hot pants and midriff-baring shirts he often sports in the summer. And he explained his crusade by saying he had a "moral obligation" to challenge the city. "To prohibit sleep, by making it illegal for people to protect themselves and their belongings from the elements, is immoral and amounts to torture," the Kernel says he testified in court. The Kernel did have a solid ally in his fight: civil rights attorney Michael Rose, fresh from successfully defending the naked Transportation Security Administration protester, John Brennan, against charges of public indecency. If Bushong was already leaning the Kernel's way, Rose's closing arguments likely helped make up his mind. "We won acquittal on both ends of a classic civil disobedience lie-in case and a possible inroad on a troubling city policy," Rose said in a statement. "This is especially pleasing." Ironically, the verdict came the day after Portland City Council settled a nearly four-year-old federal civil rights suit targeting the city's anti-camping laws. The city, under the terms of that settlement, was allowed to keep its ban on structures with a promise, instead, to take better care of homeless campers' things if and when campsites are cleared. Not everyone is thrilled with that outcome. The Kernel sees an opportunity to keep fighting the city's anti-sleep laws--maybe through "a pallet-building party," he jokes. And he hopes his case might also help dozens of Occupy Portland protesters fend off their own bogus "interfering with a cop" charges. "This doesn't change the law," the Kernel told me. "It's one judge's opinion. But it's a step." August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 7 Hall Monitor The Great Skate Debate PORTLAND BOASTS an international reputation as a skate-friendly city. But city council, the Mercury has learned, is weighing a plan to add some compromises to Portland's progressive pro-skateboarding laws. Since 2001, Portland's city codes have granted skaters the same rights to the road as cyclists. That could change Wednesday, September 5, when the council votes on a new skating ordinance. A draft of that ordinance would ban skating on specific Southwest Portland streets after 10 pm, increase skate-violation tickets from $25 to $115, and--most controversially--create a citywide all-ages helmet law for anyone on a skateboard, roller skates, or scooter. Irritation among some residents of Arlington Heights, the ritzy neighborhood around Washington Park whose steep, winding streets have become a favorite route for downhill skaters, is driving the change. Citing noise and fear of running over skaters, a handful of neighbors asked Commissioner Randy Leonard's office to propose a blanket skating ban on 10 streets City Weighs Plan to Require Helmets, Ban Night Skating by Sarah Mirk around Washington Park ["Rogues and Bones," Feature, July 5]. That idea took heat from both police--who said enforcing the ban would likely be impossible--and skaters, who argued that an education campaign would do more to improve safety. City council's June vote on the idea was pushed to September, giving the groups all summer to hash out a new plan. Since then, a coalition of skaters and city bureau representatives have launched "Skate Friendly PDX," installing skate-etiquette signs in Washington Park and making a skate-law pamphlet and web video. The police also upped traffic law enforcement in SW Portland this summer, handing out 33 citations on the contested streets, including 10 to drivers and 21 to skaters. Skaters involved in the public policy process actually support the idea of banning skating in the West Hills from 10 pm to 7 am. "Each side has to give for people to be happy," says downhill skater Billy "Bones" Meiners, who helps run the Skate Friendly PDX campaign. "Skateboarders aren't go- NEWS ing to leave, but at the least we can try to be respectful and not noisy. We have to work with the neighbors." But skaters say they won't support the proposal if it includes a mandatory helmet law--and other elements that spell out how to properly skate (like a requirement that skaters ride single file and cannot sit or kneel on their boards). Leonard staffer Stu Oishi said the office included those provisions at the request of neighbors, noting that the city already requires people younger than 16 to wear helmets when biking. The draft ordinance's language notes that many skateboarders do not wear helmets and "frequently violate traffic laws" by staging races, veering across lanes. But Meiners says skating without a helmet isn't always unsafe--pointing out, under the new law, that a quick ride to the coffee shop on quiet streets could snag him a $115 ticket if he doesn't wear a helmet. "I think helmets are a great idea," Meiners says, "but helmet laws are very foolish." 8 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 Keep on Zoobombing Portland's Irrepressible Bike Group Marks 10 Years by Sarah Mirk NEWS STILL CRAZY: Zoobombers swarm Mayor Sam Adams in 2009. AMOS HUNTER AGAINST ALL ODDS, Zoobomb is 10. Portland's arguably best-known and least-definable bike club has been hauling absurd varieties of bicycles up to the zoo's MAX stop and hurtling down Washington Park's steep hills every single Sunday night for the past 10 years. In a town where clubs, bands, and traditions come and go, Zoobomb has stuck around, and the group is marking its 10th anniversary with five days of festivities this week. Over time, the group that started as a hilarious good time--and was alternately pinned as a public menace or annoying mob--has become a genuine public institution. In 2009, Mayor Sam Adams helped unveil a Regional Arts and Culture Councilfunded art piece on SW 13th and Burnside that serves as a tongue-in-cheek monument to Zoobomb, as well as a lending library of the kids bikes preferred for 'bombing the hill on Sundays. "I am supportive of Zoobomb because they are well organized, they care about and require safety considerations, they self-police, and they've been very responsible," says Adams (who, somehow, has never made it out for a Sunday night hill bomb himself). "It's a great Portland institution. It's great fun." Zoobomb's relationship with city authorities was tenuous in its early years. TriMet cracked down on the group in 2003, excluding riders from the MAX for not hanging their tiny bikes on proper bike hooks. Periodically, the Portland police would run stop-sign stings on the hill or clip the lock on the group's giant pile of bikes chained to a downtown rack and confiscate them. Now the bikes are legally part of the group's public art sculpture and city officials are more concerned about skateboarders than the Sunday night Zoobomb [see "The Great Skate Debate" on pg. 7]. "It's wild. I love being on the police's good side and trying to be the best people we can be to earn that," says "Handsome" Dave Terry, the official "bike librarian" of the tiny-bike collection Zoobomb lends out to anyone who wants to join the weekly ride. He estimates more than 10,000 people have Zoobombed since 2002. Terry first rode the hill on a mini-bike in the summer of 2002, after some acquaintances told him it would be a thrill. "I was like, wait, let me get this straight. You and your friends go to a public park at night and ride little kids' bikes? I don't want to say what went through my head, but I was like, `No thanks, guys, some other time.'" But once Terry was talked into going along and speeding down the hill, he never looked back. The size of the weekly ride varies wildly depending on the weather, dwindling to a core group of a dozen or so in the winter while occasionally ballooning to hundreds in the summer. "It was like an open-source bike club. This is your club, what do you want to do with it?" says old-time 'bomber Zach Archibald. "People got a lot of positivity out of it." Zoobomb hosts a 10th anniversary block party at W Burnside and SW 13th on Sunday, September 2, from noon-8 pm, followed by a ride down the hill, of course. Start digging in your pockets for quarters--TriMet's 19 percent citywide fare increase kicks in next week. The so-called "Go Anywhere Fare" ups the cost of a twohour ticket on MAX and bus lines to $2.50 (making a transit ticket perhaps the only thing that costs more in Portland than in New York, where a subway ride will set you back $2.25). Saturday, September 1, also marks the death of the Free Rail Zone, the no-MAX-ticket-required downtown area that replaced Fareless Square, the reconfiguration of 17 bus lines (including reducing service on eight lines, adding some service to seven, and tweaking two others). Those changes should patch nearly $10 million of TriMet's $12 million budget hole. SARAH MIRK In Other News by Mercury staff NEWS Standing in Northeast Portland alongside some of the state legislators who made it possible, on Friday, August 24, Mayor Sam Adams unveiled Portland's first 20 MPH speed limit sign. The fanfare came two days after Portland City Council formally approved a bureau of transportation plan to lower speed limits from 25 MPH to 20 MPH on some 70 miles of eligible "greenway" streets--local routes favored by cyclists and pedestrians-- slicing through neighborhoods all over town. Permission to pursue the reduced limits was high on the city's wish list during the 2011 legislative session in Salem. According to city figures, a pedestrian hit by a car moving 20 MPH is 95 percent likely to live--compared to a 60 percent chance if struck by a car moving 30 MPH. DENIS C. THERIAULT August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 9 MERCURY / DANTE'S &STAR +PIZZA Burlesque& &Rock-n-Roll Rock-n-Roll Live LiveMusic, Music,Cabaret, Cabaret,Burlesque The Newly Restored Histori c His tori c 503-226-6630 � Open Daily 11am-2:30am � nd.com w w w. da n tes l i ve . c o m OF PA AUG 29 WEDNESDAY NO COVER ATLAS & THE ASTRONAUT SCHEISSHOSEN www.StarTheaterPortland.com BONNEVILLE POWER & DENIZENZ SHO E FREW THURSDAY AUG 30 THURSDAYAUG30 $15 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME THURSDAY AUG 30 $7 ADV 9PM APE MACHINE OLD KINGDOM MONDO DECO POJAMA PEOPLE FEATURING IKE WILLIS P E E P S H O W THE MUSIC OF FRANK ZAPPA 31 FRIDAY AUG AUG31 $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME AUG 31 FRIDAY $7 ADV 9:30PM S OF NER WA FLY AR RDS! SEPT 1 SATURDAY Fred's Retirement Party! FREE SHOW NO COVER OBJEX SEPT 3 THE GIGGLE BLUSH & AN INSATIABLE SHOWCASE OF TANTALIZING LOVELIES FEATURING ANGIE PONTANI & ELLIE DARLING PRESENTS WITH VERY SPECIAL GUESTS PLE SUNDAY SEPT 2 PAPA DYNAMITE "The Best Show Burlesque, Firedancers In Town!" DJs, Magic & Debauchery! GHN GIBSON MOON DUO AAN HEART FRIDAY SEPT 7 FromHelHel Karaoke From l l FRIDAYSEPT7 SINFERNO Karaoke THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART cabaret 10pm $3 MONDAY SATURDAY SEPT 1 SATURDAYSEPT1 PORTLAND FAMOUS! THURSDAY SEPT 6 THURSDAYSEPT6 $5 COVER - 10PM SHOWTIME TALENT AND VARIETY CONTEST NE LY RF BA DS! 3A WAR WIN F RS O JEANS THE PEOPLES TEMPLE THE MEN MEAN So You Wanna Be A ROCK STAR ? De La Warr � Leigh Marble the GlyptodonS R PEOPLE SEPT 4 TUESDAY 8pm Showtime CHUCK'N'BUCK DSL THE KARAOKE WITH A LIVE BAND FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS ! S H O W SATURDAY SEPT 8 SATURDAYSEPT8 FRIDAY SEPT 14 FRIDAYSEPT14 $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME open mic comedy with hostess dirt starr love SEPT 6 THURSDAY ES KING KHAN & THE SHRINES APACHE (THE BAND) PYNNACLES CHILD CHILDREN PERFORMING "DAVID COMES TO LIFE" O FRIDAY SEPT 7 SE POISON IDEA SONS OF HUNS BISON BISON FUCKED UP LE SATURDAY SEPT 8 N ES T NS... REDD KROSS THE SUICIDE NOTES THE NEEDFUL LONGINGS DANTE VS. ZOMBIES OOD GER OF E-BY S 8/29 Atlas & The Astronaut 8/30 Ape Machine 9/1 The Objex 9/2 Sinferno Cabaret 9/3 Karaoke From Hell 9/4 The Chuck-n-Buck Show 9/5 Jackie Alan Denise 9/6 MFNW: King Khan & The Shrines 9/7 MFNW: Fucked Up 9/8 MFNW: Redd Kross 9/12 Vaj + bloody North 9/13 Lawn Boy 9/14 Steel Horse 9/15 Miss Skooled Pageant 9/19 Scott H. Biram 9/21 Zepparella 9/22 Los Straitjackets 9/27 Jucifer 9/28 Local H 9/29 Appetite For Deception 10/6 House Of Floyd 10/10 Panzer God 10/13 Jeff The Brotherhood 10/17 Rosie Flores & Marti Brom 10/18 Cheap Time 10/19 Three Bad Jacks 10/20 Hell's Belles 10/21 Miss Kennedy's Cabaret & Sinferno Cabaret 10/25 Army Navy 10/26 Zombie Rockfest 10/31 Lukas Nelson 11/2 Rev. Peyton's Big Damn Band 11/3 Cash'd Out 11/10 Two Cow Garage TICKETS AVAILABLE @ DANTE'S, STAR THEATER AND WWW.DANTESLIVE.COM COMING SOON HAZEL DIRTCLODFIGHT SNO BUD & THE FLOWER PEOPLE PETE KREBS DAUGHN GIBSON MOON DUO AAN JUST PEOPLE &THE RUBY PINES WITH TUESDAY SEPT 18 ROOT TUESDAYSEPT18 JACK THE WHITE BUFFALO THURSDAY SEPT 20 WITH THURSDAYSEPT20 MANIMALHOUSE $13 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME $12 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME WORTH W "SIX FOOT SOUL" ALBUM RELEASE Sat., Sept 1 Tara Williamson Bre Gregg Matthew Gailey Thur., Sept 6 thursday, august 30 FRIDAY SEPT 22 FRIDAYSEPT22 QUEENS OF THE POLE FROM THE HBO SERIES "TREME" & STRAIGHT FRIDAY SEPT 22 OUT FRIDAYSEPT22 OF NEW ORLEANS... EARLY SHOW 8PM - $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT LATE SHOW 10PM - $10 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT THE OLYMPIC EDITION... will west & tanner cundy garcia Birthday Band 9 p.m. 5:30 p.m. is "eagle time" Friday, august 31 DAVIS ROGAN LEAD SINGER OF THE DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS reverB Brothers stan McMahon Band counterFeit cash duover 9:30 p.m. 5:30 p.m. is "eagle time" THURSDAY SEPT 27 THURSDAYSEPT27 $20 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME THURSDAY SEPT 13 $10 ADV - 9PM LAWN BOY AN ALL-STAR PHISH TRIBUTE SCOTT H. BIRAM + RESTAVRANT PATTERSON HOOD &THE DOWNTOWN RAMBLERS WITH SHANA HALLIGAN saturday, septeMBer 1 the student loan the lustFul MonKs 7 p.m. 4:30 p.m. is "eagle time" R PONTANI FRIDAY SEPT 14 J-FELL PRESENTS: THE BON JOVI TRIBUTE THEATER, $10 ADV 9:30PM ND.COM SEPT 19 WEDNESDAY $10 ADV 9PM STEEL HORSE WITH THE JIM JAMS & GUNTANAMO BAYWATCH FRIDAY OCT 5 FRIDAYOCT5 $13 ADVANCE TICKETBISCUIT - 9PM SHOWTIME WAX TAILOR TICKETS AVAILABLE AT STAR THEATER, DANTE'S AND WWW.STARTHEATERPORTLAND.COM sunday, septeMBer 2 Monday, septeMBer 3 MORE SHOWS E AT HEART SY OLE TREME RAMBLERS RAMBLERS SEPT 22 SATURDAY $15 ADV - 9:30PM THURSDAY SEPT 27 $10 ADV 9PM JUCIFER FRIDAY SEPT 28 $13 ADV 9:30PM MIKE THRASHER PRESENTS + O'DEATH 12 years of serving downtown's largest, 100% yummiest, greasiest, cheesiest, & sauciest, rock-n-roll slices 1000 DOUGH E UC SA Y! MADE FRESH DAIL 11am till 2:30am every day. WHO LE MIL MOZZ K ARELLA RIES CALO SLICE! PER Dante's Pizza By The Slice LOCAL H AUG 30 - POJAMA PEOPLE WITH IKE WILLIS AUG 31 - GIGGLE & BLUSH PEEPSHOW W/ ANGIE PONTANI SEPT 1 - PORTLAND FAMOUS SEPT 6 - MUSICFEST: THE MEN SEPT 7 - MUSICFEST: THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART SEPT 8 - MUSICFEST: HAZEL SEPT 14 - WORTH CD RELEASE SEPT 15 - AL CAPONE'S BATHTUB GIN SPEAKEASY SEPT 18 - THE WHITE BUFFALO + ROOT JACK SEPT 20 - ORGONE & MANIMALHOUSE SEPT 21 - ROSEHIP REVUE SEPT 22 - EARLY SHOW 8PM - QUEENS OF THE POLE SEPT 22 - LATE SHOW 10PM - DAVIS ROGAN OF TREME SEPT 27 - PATTERSON HOOD & THE DOWNTOWN RAMBLERS SEPT 28 - PATTERSON HOOD & THE DOWNTOWN RAMBLERS SEPT 29 - GEEKLESQUE: VIDEOGAMES SEPT 30 - ONE MOMENT OCT 4 - BARFLY PRESENTS ELVIS' BIRTHDAY OCT 5 - WAX TAILOR & SHANA HALLIGAN OCT 11 - IO ECHO OCT 17 - NICK WATERHOUSE & THE ALLAH-LAS OCT 18 - ROCKY HORROR PASTIE SHOW OCT 19 - JOEY PORTER'S FUNK TRIBUTE OCT 20 - OMAR RODRIGUEZ-LOPEZ GROUP OCT 21 - DILANA OCT 26 - RASPUTINA OCT 27 - MOULIN ROUGE SING-A-LONG OCT 31 - VAGABOND OPERA HALLOWEEN BALL NOV 3 - MR. GNOME NOV 9 - MARK EITZEL DEC 6 - WORLD/INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY + O'DEATH DEC 13 - TY SEGALL & NIGHT BEATS Father Figure surFs drugs son loK 8:30 p.m. the inFinity oF it all the Bevelers christopher reyne 8:30 p.m. tuesday, septeMBer 4 wednesday, septeMBer 5 the nutMeggers 8:30 p.m. COMING SOON: 9/6 tara wIllIaMSON 9/7 tYlEr MattHEw SMItH 9/8 FIVE PINt MarY/tIN SIlVEr 9/11 XDS/tHE StONE FOXES 9/14 "UNFIltErED" SHOwCaSE! 9/21 & 22 2-NIGHt SPECtaCUlar! w/GrEat wIlDErNESS 9/28 & 29 OFFICIal FUrtHUr aFtErPartY w/ GarCIa BIrtHDaY BaND THIRD &BURNSIDE DOWNTOWN PORTLAND � 503-226-4666 FOR PICK-UP ORDERS 10 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 MY , WHAT A BUSY WEEK! OUR ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT PICKS FOR THE WEEK OF AUGUST 30-SEPTEMBER 5 GO-GO--This summer's Top Down series ends with The T.A.M.I. Show, the 1964 concert film that puts every other concert film to shame. Filmed in Santa Monica, it features the Beach Boys, James Brown, the Supremes, Marvin Gaye, and the Rolling Stones, with a crazy mod backdrop and a host of mashed potato-ing go-go dancers. (Can you spot Teri Garr and Toni Basil dancing?) CF w/Chance Hayden; Hotel deLuxe, SW 15th & Yamhill, music at 8 pm, $9 SUPER--Portland's premier annual all-ages dance festival, Superfest, is bigger than ever, spanning four days, three venues, and featuring acts like Glass Candy, Chromatics, White Rainbow, and Strategy. Best of all, it all goes to benefit Music in the Schools, because when government bureaucracy can't save us, music will. MS Tonight with Glass Candy, Chromatics at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $12-15 or $20-25 for fest pass, superfest4.com for full schedule and locations THURSDAY, AUGUST 30 FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 NO JOKE--One night on North Lombard provides an exquisite education in Portland's comedy scene: Tonight's showcase, No Joke, is headlined by our official Funniest Person, Nathan Brannon, and topped off with a lineup of local favorites including one-liner king Tim Hammer and Tynan DeLong, creator of Portland's best masturbation joke. AH The Fixin' To, 8218 N Lombard, 9 pm, FREE FRAGRANT WORLD--Brooklyn noisemakers Yeasayer's new album Fragrant World has gotten mixed reviews, and now it is time for Portland to pass judgment. The raucous global-boogie band makes beats and hips shake. Do they still got it? Go see! ZP w/Daughn Gibson; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $22-25, all ages SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 ONCE BITTEN--Legends get bigger, but never better: Ian Hunter, former singer for Mott the Hoople and one of the greatest rock 'n' roll songwriters of all time, is headlining Portland for the first time in over two decades. The Mott catalog alone is enough to put your butt in a seat, but Hunter's long solo career is full of equally worthy gems. NL w/the Minus 5; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $35, all ages CELLULOID--Just about every theater in town has switched to digital-- with a lot of 'em just showing Blu-rays and DVDs, so seeing something on old-school 35mm is an increasing rarity. Props to the Hollywood Theatre, then, for presenting three fantastic films on brand-new prints: Hitchcock's perfect Rear Window, Spike Lee's classic Do the Right Thing, and Sam Raimi's cult The Evil Dead! EH Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Rear Window Sat Sept 1-Sun Sept 2, Do the Right Thing and The Evil Dead Fri Aug 31-Thurs Sept 6, see Movie Times on pg. 41 for showtimes, $8 SLITHERIN'--The poor maligned population of reptiles and amphibians get a bad rap. They always end up playing the bad guys or winding up in a witch's brew, when they're actually among the most beautiful, fascinating, and (sometimes) friendly creatures on the planet. Make pals at OMSI's always-popular 26th Annual Reptile and Amphibian Show. MS OMSI, 1945 SE Water, Sat Sept 1-Mon Sept 3, 9:30 am-7 pm, $3 SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 LOVE FUZZ--No matter what you've accomplished in 2012, Ty Segall has done you better. He's releasing his third fulllength this year--Twins--on October 9, and the new record further expands the already formidable scope of the garage rocker's sonic palette, resulting in a trip to outer space on the wings of purest pop. NL Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9 pm, $10-12 MONDAY, ,S SEPTEMBER EPTEM MBER 3 CAMEL RIDES?!?--If you're going to the Oregon CA Stat Fair, TODAY IS THE DAY. Not only does this State hil hilarious annual hillbilly event have rides, elephant ears, llamas, terrible B-list concerts, and pygmy go goats, today's events feature a pie-eating contest, an "X-treme Airdogs" championship, and... wait for it... CAMEL RIDES. (Mark that one off your bucket list!) WSH O Oregon State Fair, 2330 NE 17th NE, Salem, 10 am-9 pm, $7-11 OLD SOUL--If you long for the grit and depth of classic R&B, don't miss the sweet soul stylings of Lee Fields and the Expressions. Performing for 43 years (!), Fields has played with such greats as Kool & the Gang, and his searing, gritty voice (that has shades of Otis Redding and James Brown) will transport you straight back to 1969--when soul was at its zenith. WSH Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13-15 TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 ters ZINE TALK--The Multnomah County Library's great Zinesters mallTalking series continues tonight with a release party for smallpress journal We'll Never Have Paris. Festivities include a om comic strip slideshow from Gabby Holden, and readings from the likes of One More for the People writer Martha Grover. AH Multnomah Co County Central Library, 801 SW 10th, 6:30 pm, FREE BRASS KN KNUCKLES--John Hillcoat, the director behind the beautifully grim The R Road and The Proposition, is back with Lawless. Written by Nick C Cave and starring Tom Hardy, Guy Pearce, and Shia LaBeouf (he's go good in it, promise!), it's a dark, bloody, engrossing film about the dangerous business of bootlegging in 1931 Virginia. EH Various Theaters, see Movie Times on pg. 41 for locations and showtimes WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 EXCLAMATION POINT WORTHY--Against Me! singer Tom Gabel made rock 'n' roll history this year by coming out as transgender. Now fronted by the newly minted Laura Jane Grace, Against Me! plays the same great, angry, poppy punk, newly invigorated with purpose. Tonight they kick off MusicfestNW with a bang. NL w/Andrew Jackson Jihad, Joyce Manor; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th, 7 pm, $18, all ages MOONSHINE KINGDOM--All summer, the crafty folks at ADX have been teaching good little scouts how to catch fish, make backpacks, and build rafts. Join them for their last class of the season, where you'll learn how to make booze! Don't get so skunk-faced that you can't sew on your merit badge! CF ADX, 417 SE 11th, 6 pm, $20 (FREE beer and BBQ beforehand) August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 11 RICHARD BERNARDIN ANNA PALMA THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. With a lineup spanning every genre of music--plus comedy, film, theatre, visual art, Words & Ideas, and more--it's no wonder Bumbershoot is the nation's largest arts festival. This weekend, be a part of a Seattle tradition so big, it'll blow your mind. "It's gonna be huge this weekend!" JANE'S ADDICTION TONY BENNETT SKRILLEX M83 KEANE GOTYE M.WARD MAC MILLER BIG SEAN PASSION PIT AWOLNATION THE JAYHAWKS CITY AND COLOUR BLITZEN TRAPPER THE PROMISE RING THE HELIO SEQUENCE YELAWOLF MUDHONEY THE HEAVY BEST COAST JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT SHARON JONES & THE DAP KINGS THE VASELINES AND MANY MORE! THIS WEEKEND! See lineup details and buy tickets online: BUMBERSHOOT.ORG FEE FREE TICKETS AT RUDY'S BARBERSHOPS KIDS 10 & UNDER ARE FREE 12 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 MUSIC Shades Off Beyond Mott with Ian Hunter by Ned Lannamann THE LAST TIME Ian Hunter played cult because lyrically you've covered a lot Portland--a 2001 appearance with Ringo of ground and you're trying not to repeat Starr's All-Starr Band notwithstand- yourself. I read a lot of American history, ing--was when the sunglasses-sporting which is really interesting because it's rocker appeared with the late Mick more recent. English history goes back such a long way that it's hard to Ronson at Starry Night (now Ian Hunter get a hold of, but with your sort the Roseland) in October 1988. Sat Sept 1 of stuff--like, Wyatt Earp died Nearly 24 years later, he's reAladdin Theater turning with a new record and 3017 SE Milwaukie in 1929 and I was born in 1939. And so it's nearer to your hand, a back catalog of material, both from his solo albums and his days with y'know what I mean? I seem to have gone Mott the Hoople that should be the envy through politics and wound up there. But basically, it's just songs that came to me. I of every living songwriter. Hunter's career has flitted around the didn't go out looking. And I like them all. margins of popular music while never Usually, there's a couple that I'm never too fully settling in the spotlight. Even Mott sure about on most records I do, but I quite the Hoople, whose esteem slowly, steadily like this record all the way through." At 73, Hunter is in shockingly excellent grew since the legendary British band's breakup in 1974, never fully got their due. voice, howling like an angry young man Make no mistake--Mott the Hoople was on "What For" and finding strength in one of the greatest, most powerful bands tenderness on "Fatally Flawed." He's ento ever weave thunder out of three basic ergized by his current band: "I went out chords, and Hunter is the architect of some in the fall with my band and that's what of the best rock tracks ever penned: "All got me going. We did about 20 dates, and it the Way from Memphis." "I Wish I Was was like, oh, this band's playing with me, Your Mother." "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." they're not playing for me. That's when "Cleveland Rocks." Any serious rock 'n' we thought we got to get this, we've got to roll fan not familiar with these songs is kid- go now, go in the studio." Basic tracks were recorded in four ding themselves. Despite its title, Hunter says his latest days at Peter Moshay's studio in Pawlalbum, When I'm President, is his least ing, New York, with Hunter and guitarist/ political in years. "As you get older, there's co-producer Andy York spending another less boy-girl," he says. "It gets more diffi- nine days overdubbing and mixing--a remarkably speedy process. "I remember on one album, I think it was The Hoople, we sat there for a month trying to get a drum sound," says Hunter. "Which is insane, you know? It takes half an hour now." When I'm President is Hunter's first album since Mott the Hoople played five shows in London in October 2009. "That was great, it really was," he says of the reunion. "Mott's a different sound, and it's fabulous, it's great, but there's a lot of friction business-wise. Playing with them and rehearsing with them was great. I loved it. We'll never get in the studio because of business--it's impossible. But live, yeah, it was all there. The X factor, everything." IAN HUNTER "Please, call me Mott. Mott the Hoople was my father." JOHN HALPERN Sheer Force of Will Bruxa's Fatalistic Jams by Christina Broussard MUSIC KICKING OUT JAMS of the highest or- first listen, I really didn't want this album der, local electronic band Bruxa--Derek to end. Elements of hiphop pulse with a unique Stilwell, Bianca Radd, Saint Michael Lorenzo--roll out the red carpet on their second stylistic edge: The often complex rhythms of Bruxa's lyrical content sit album, Victimeyez. Their compoBruxa damn near perfectly within the sitional style is sharp, capturing Wed Sept 5 mix, taking the listener on a a darkly psychedelic essence that Holocene moves beyond the conceptualized 1001 SE Morrison fantastic voyage to outer space. If you haven't seen Bruxa live, theme of occultism that characterStilwell describes their shows as similar ized their first album, Eye on Everybody. Victimeyez, on the other hand, repre- to "dub-style performances with different sents work that can be considered more layers that are brought in and out while universal. It's being released jointly by they [Radd and Lorenzo] rap over it." "It's like a perversion of jamming," Sweating Tapes and Mishka Records NYC, and as a sweet bonus, Mishka is offering a adds Lorenzo. "I feel the [live shows] are way more free digital download of the release startfree form, noisier--with a lot more ening September 1. Pitched-down and processed vocals ergy. When we perform I feel like I'm in a capture the doom and gloom aesthetic of trance," says Radd. The band has an interesting philosoa pre-apocalyptic world, and delve into the kind of dreamy distorted industrial terri- phy on songwriting: "When you first make tory that Trent Reznor would hold dear. something, you have the most objectivThe heavy vocal processing, along with ity about it, and you should step back and masterful production of synth, bass, and trust that instinct and not over think it," beats, evoke a quality of semi-sexual ag- says Stilwell. In a previous musical project, Lorenzo gression that immediately draws you in. Radd's vocalizations, all done in Portu- says he "was more concerned with how guese (Bruxa translates to "witch"), add it was going to affect people that I knew, a mysterious quality to the songs, at times and Bruxa was a complete departure from making it seem as if she were channeling that--it does not matter." "If you want to name a specific phia child goddess of the ancient world. Upon losophy, fatalism would be a good choice," says Stilwell. "Post-religion, post-politics, post-sex," adds Radd. "It's more creating a feeling as opposed to delivering an idea," says Stillwell. "None of it is very premeditated... but we'll find out that there are weird correspondences later. The lyrical themes that ride through the whole thing happen by accident." When asked what guiding aesthetic ties their work together, Lorenzo says, "We all have an affinity for triphop." Bruxa also incorporate "the harsh bass and crushing impressive sounds" characterized by dubstep. "We like bass music," says Radd, very matter of factly. "I've gotten way into sound design," adds Stilwell. The first Bruxa album, Eye on Everybody, came about almost as an experiment: "Let's take dubstep and witch house and put them together and see what happens. That's where the whole `witchstep' subgenre came about," says Stilwell. Less than two years old, the band is already recording new material. "We are reaching even further into our influences," says Lorenzo. So far, the results are impressive. BRUXA All victimeyez on me. (You're welcome for the Tupac reference!) JENESSA VANZUTPHEN August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 13 14 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 Nights of Future Passed Chromatics Kill for Love by Ned Lannamann MUSIC CHROMATICS It's okay, don't fake cry. RICHARD BERNARDIN JOHNNY JEWEL thinks sonically--and it has multiple gear, which ended up being considerately. During our phone conversa- a really good thing because of things breaktion, he ducks down a Montreal side street ing, so I'm able to swap out stuff that does." Although the songs were written relawhen the wind begins blowing too hard, making sure I can still hear him clearly. tively rapidly, Kill for Love took years Jewel lives in Montreal now, more or less-- to finish, largely due to a lengthy editing "I always kind of feel like I'm permanently process. "It's like chiseling a giant rock or visiting, in a way," he says--but he still something," says Jewel. "It's like deconkeeps the studio he's had here in Portland struction: You build it back up and then since 2003, in the City Sign building next deconstruct again. Because I work as a writer and a producer, I need the time door to Rotture. "I'm really ritualistic, and kind of a su- away from it to have a fresh, bird's eye perstitious person," Jewel says, out of the view of the music. I kind of have to put it on ice and revisit it. A lot of muwind, "and there have been so Chromatics sicians don't allow themselves to many good things, good moments, Thurs Aug 30 amazing records, and stuff made in Crystal Ballroom divorce themselves from the conthat studio, that I feel like it's kind 1332 W Burnside cept of something they're trying to do and really view the reality of of disrespectful to everything we've been given and been able to accomplish to what they're actually doing." Jewel has also been working on the new just shut it down." It's a bit of an understatement. With bands like Glass Candy, Glass Candy album--Body Work, which Chromatics, Desire, and the recent Themes will likely come out next year--and After for an Imaginary Film album from Sym- Dark 2, a compilation album meant to stand metry, Jewel has not just had some good entirely on its own, with unique material moments--he's steadily become one of the and a fully realized concept. "I'm trying to most distinctive, prolific, influential produc- make a compilation that's like an album." But he acknowledges that right now is ers of electronic music on the globe, watching as the Europop and Italo disco revivals Chromatics' time. "It's a younger band," have risen around the music he's consistent- says Jewel. "In a certain way, Chromatics has always been in the wake of Glass Canly made for more than a decade. If the inclusion of Chromatics and De- dy, so I really wanted to give full attention sire songs on the lauded Drive soundtrack to Chromatics because I really believe in was the moment when the rest of the world this record. It was a scary record to make; finally caught up to Jewel, it's Chromatics' we took a lot of chances with it, from the epic, gorgeous Kill for Love album that so- way it was released to the video to the conlidifies Jewel's position. Earlier this year, tent on the record, and I really wasn't sure Chromatics--the four-piece of Jewel, singer if it was going to be burned at the stake or Ruth Radelet, drummer Nat Walker, and heralded. You never know. But now Glass guitarist Adam Miller--birthed a mammoth Candy fans are more rabid than ever, eselectrosymphony of tragic-hearted dance- pecially since the Chromatics album came pop that sprawls out of the speakers. Kill for out. The two bands play together a lot, and Love's android prom ballads glow like neon it doesn't make a lot of sense for Chromatsigns flickering through steaming rain, of- ics to play after Glass Candy because of the fering both echoes of the past and lightning mood and the stage energy. So I want to bolts from the future. The album positions give Chromatics a chance to tour internaheartsick woe and handholding reassurance tionally as headliners--touring makes you right next to each other, resulting in an ex- stronger, and Chromatics need that kind of pressure to grow as a band." quisite agony that's utterly captivating. Sticking with the careful process that's Jewel has a second studio in Montreal now; neither of the facilities use computers, resulted in Kill for Love and so many other instead they're built around vintage analog exceptional records on the Italians Do It gear. "I bought doubles of everything slow- Better label, Jewel recognizes the strength ly," he says, "so I have a sister studio that's in the refusal to rush things. "There are all the same furniture, even. It looks exact- so many good ideas, and everybody just ly the same, except that it's backward, and seems to be in a hurry," he says. August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 15 Committed to improving your ACNE? ...visit PORTLAND'S ALTERNATIVE OUTDOOR STORE SILKFACE store hours: m-f 10-7, sat 10-6, sun 11-5 � 503-233-0706 � nextadventure.net MOUNTAIN SHADES CHOOSE ANY 3 FOR $14.99 DUCK CAMP CHAIR COMPARE AT $39.99 SALE $9.99 WEEKENDER POP UP 10x10. LIST $119.00 merc_vert0046_12_pdot.pdf SALE $79.99 1 3/9/12 www.silkface.skincaretherapy.net (971)-227-6262 10:03 AM WENZEL SALMON RIVER 6-person, 10x12. LIST $100.00 SALE $79.99 EUREKA SCENIC PASS 2 LIST $160.00 SALE $99.99 MOUNTAIN TRAILS SOUTH BEND 3-person, 9x7. LIST $49.99 SALE $29.99 FLEECE BLANKETS ONLY $5.99 HIGH PEAK SIRIUS SUMMER WEIGHT BAG! 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Wonder Ballroom, 9/1 CRYSTAL FIGHTERS, Wonder Ballroom, 6/2 THURSDAY 8/30 SUPERFEST: GLASS CANDY, CHROMATICS, LITANIC MASK, ETBONZ, DJ MAXX BASS (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11, and Music, pg. 15. SUPERFEST: MAGIC MOUTH, DJ BEYONDADOUBT, MASSACOORAMAAN, WHITE RAINBOW, THE MIRACLES CLUB (Backspace, 115 NW 5th) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. VEKTOR, WITCH MOUNTAIN, STOVOKOR (Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) Vektor has been gaining favor in metal circles for years. And for good reason: These kids--who recently relocated to Philadelphia from Tempe, Arizona--are the best of the best in the new wave of thrash, channeling bands like Voivod and Venom for their own nuclear assault. And while the band draws from the familiar, they're already shaping the future of metal, and, perhaps, the future itself. The band's two fantastic long-players--Black Future and Outer Isolation--mix precision, power, and Mad Max. It's the feel-good soundtrack for a dystopian America. And if that's not enough to keep you up at night, wait until you hear vocalist Dave DiSanto's highpitched shriek. MARK LORE TECHNE RENDERED DAWN (Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate) See Arts, pg. 31. BEN MACY, BLAKE LYMAN TRIO (Jimmy Mak's, 221 NW 10th) Of Scars and Permanence, the new album from jazz pianist Ben Macy, just sounds better on vinyl. It's a warm, inviting live recording captured at Southeast Portland's Reedwood Friends Church, resulting in a spacious and graceful series of improvisations. Macy anchors his compositions in the crowd-pleasing tradition of Bill Evans and Vince Guaraldi, but he also cites modernists like Bobo Stenson and Tomasz Sta ko, and the welcome result is that Of Scars and Permanence is exploratory but never meandering. One almost wishes for a performance at Reedwood Friends to duplicate the openness and clarity of the recording, but tonight's album release show at Jimmy Mak's should sound nearly as good. NED LANNAMANN VINTAGE TROUBLE (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Viewed a certain way, the very existence of Vintage Trouble is inspiring: Career musicians in their 40s get together to revive soul music as my parents understand it, with the tragic omission of a horns section. They nail the sound, so it's easy to like their first album, The Bomb Shelter Sessions, which came out this spring. Maybe too easy. Because, viewed another way, Vintage Trouble seem suspiciously like a business deal masquerading as a band--their marketing strategy seems to have predated the album itself. But some awfully great soul acts have been formed in this way (see: the Supremes), and the album, an undeniably enjoyable period piece, was recorded in an LA home studio. If you remember the entertainingly maddening reality show Rock Star: INXS, you've heard the singer, Ty Taylor, who was a contestant. He sounds less like Michael Hutchence and more like he time-traveled from 1962. REBECCA WILSON SATURDAY 9/1 IAN HUNTER, THE MINUS 5 (Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11, and Music, pg. 13. SUPERFEST: B�ISBOL, AROHAN, PALMAS, GRAPEFRUIT, AMERICAN GIRLS (Backspace, 115 NW 5th) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. WHY?, SERENGETI, DJ SODAPOP (Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell) Why?'s Yoni Wolf has delighted backpack rappers, indie-rock wordsmiths, and nerdcore purists alike. He's simultaneously baffled critics by blurring the lines between those disparate genres, essentially carving out a singular hiphop hybrid. Why?'s newest EP, Sod in the Seed, revisits the lyrical-madman sentimentality of 2008's Alopecia, with lots of sexy disco bass and glammy synths. Wolf's rapid-fire rhymes return, and are just as potent on the EP's title track, where he puts those who relegate him to hipster Whole Foods rapper status on blast, stuttering lines like, "Let's review some recent facts/I make decent cash, I'm a minor star/and we can't last if she don't drive a hybrid car/I scribble vapid raps on your flyer backs/the word is I purchased a refurbished Mac G4." Later, in a bit of a bookend: "So what if a man blinks in Morse code when he sings if he sings his heart out?" RYAN J. PRADO APE MACHINE, OLD KINGDOM, MONDO DECA (Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) I don't want to name names, but this whole regurgitated classic rock/metal revivalist reclamation thing is really starting to wear on me. It was kind of cute when the Darkness and Steel Panther did it a decade ago, less so when they passed the torch to Wolfmother (remember those jackoffs?). Ape Machine are one of the exceptions. They're authentic--a bunch of dowdy, ordinary dudes whose music actually sounds like it could have been made in the '70s; who are actually passionate about rock and don't rely on silly, meta-ironic music videos and really obvious gothic lyrical tropes. Caleb Heinze is a bona fide fucking vocalist and lead guitarist Ian Watts has clearly spent days, years, eons in solitude studying Master of Reality --this, boys and girls, is the real deal. MORGAN TROPER FRUIT BATS, PEARLY GATE MUSIC (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) It's rare to find a band as consistently satisfying as Fruit Bats, the outfit of nowPortland-based songwriter Eric D. Johnson. Fruit Bats have evolved into a powerhouse live band, dipping into breezy soul, strummy folk, and bong-resin rawk with equal skill, making everything they play almost inconceivably catchy. This may be the end of an era for the Bats, with tonight's show and an appearance at Bumbershoot being their last shows for a little while, closing the end of the cycle inaugurated by 2011's excellent Tripper LP. It's also a chance to see the vastly underrated Pearly Gate Music, the band of songwriter Zach Tillman, who's been moonlighting as Pure Bathing Culture's bassist but has an arsenal of his own terrific songs at his disposal. NL KAYO DOT, TOBY DRIVER (Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne) If the seminal experimental/avant-garde man-of-all-abilities John Zorn says he wants to put out your band's record, chances run high that you're doing something noteworthy. Kayo Dot's debut album came out on Zorn's Tzadik Records in 2003 and ever since they've been heading strong. They hold back no offerings--their Bandcamp page is ripe with 15 listenable releases, which document the majority of Toby Driver & Co.'s work since the beginning of the millenium. The intimate seating arrangement at the Back Door Theater (tucked behind Common Ground Coffee House) argues strongly against the existence of a more appropriate venue, for it's best to remain still while this group displaces you with their haunting, jagged compositions. JONATHAN MAGDALENO FISHBONE, THE SENTIMENTS, THE LONGSHOTS, THE SINDICATE, NIGHTRAIN (Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) Fishbone never quite got their due until much later--an oft-misunderstood band that was way ahead of its time. The Los Angeles crew took funk, ska, and punk to new levels in the '80s, touching on political and social issues with a flair for satire. The band--perhaps due to the atten- FRIDAY 8/31 YEASAYER, DAUGHN GIBSON (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 17 THURSDAY AUG 30 - 9PM FREE TAITERED OATS � DUSTY GRIMM � HIGHWATER SPECIAL GUEST FRIDAY AUG 31 - 8:30PM $6 POTBELLY(WA) � NO RED FLAGS YO!ADRIAN FAITHLESS SAINTS � SMASH BANDITS BLASTFEMUR SATURDAY SEPT 1 - 8:30PM $5 ZOMBIE MESSIAH � FEAR THE SLAUGHTER ARTICLE 13 � UNRULY INSTINCT � ECHOIC 503-256-3399 � 2530 NE 82nd Ave. 18 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 UP&COMING THIS WEEK'S MUSIC PREVIEWS tion for the recent documentary, Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone --is touring again. And making new music: Fishbone released a new EP, Crazy Glue, in 2011. And while it's not likely to leave the same impression as 1988's Truth and Soul, there's something comforting about knowing Fishbone is still around. ML ALAMEDA, EZZA ROSE, HIP HATCHET (Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th) Procession, the second album from local chamber-folk outfit Alameda, has its sights aimed square at the lush, devastatingly beautiful terrain mapped out by other, equally lush, equally devastatingly beautiful local chamber-folk outfits (like Horse Feathers). So it's a good thing singer/guitarist Stirling Myles has a firm, capable songwriting hand, resulting in stirring tracks like "Limbs of Youth," which cultivates a tiny whirlwind within quick, circling melodic phrases. Or the fiery "Oaxaca," which augments Alameda's gossamer-winged frailty with glowing-ember electric guitar and knee-knock drums. Procession is a record of subtle pleasures, but its beauty is as natural and undeniable as that of a scenic landscape. NL LP The Great Escape Artist, which certainly doesn't rock, either? Like poseur conspecifics Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jane's Addiction have always been a buttrock band in disguise--they're not any more subversive than Night Ranger, they were just in the right place at the right time to catch the alt wave. Plus, Perry Farrell looks like a Ken doll whose face melted in the sun. If you want to kill yourself but need that extra little push, find the recent video of the band playing the "Guitar Center Sessions." Sweet dreams! MT THE SALE, ACOUSTIC MINDS, THE DRUTHERS (Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi) The Sale have put in countless hours at bars and clubs around town, and tonight they finally have a record to show for all that hard work. 11:11 is longer than its title might suggest--the full-length album is split with songs from the group's two songwriters, Bre Paletta and Justin Bennett, creating a dialogue of tense but gently strummed tunes that nod to '70s soft rock and '90s coffeehouse folk. 11:11 soars during its prettiest moments, as on Paletta's lush "Higher" and Bennett's ominous "Go," both of which expand the group's dueling-acousticguitar palette to include strings, flute, and keys. With this pleasing new record, the Sale are poised to spend plenty more hours playing these songs to fans, and are certain to aquire new ones with each pass. NL coming soon! SUNDAY 9/2 TY SEGALL, THE MEMORIES (Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. SAT. 9/15 XINR RECORD RELEASE W/ DANAVA TUES. 9\4 PHALGERON, HEADLESS PEZ, HEATHEN SHRINE SUPERFEST: STRATEGY, PHONE CALL, DJ NATHAN DETROIT, DJ FREAKY OUTTY (PSU Park Blocks, SW Park & Montgomery) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. WEDNESDAY 9/5 MUSICFESTNW: AGAINST ME!, ANDREW JACKSON JIHAD, JOYCE MANOR (Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. THE HEAVY, THE SILENT COMEDY (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) The Heavy are among the most recent in a long line of British bands to get rich by mastering American R&B and selling it back to us. Last week, their third studio album, The Glorious Dead, came out in the US. I confess that the calland-response between singer Kelvin Swaby and a trio of gospel ladies caused me to replay the single, "What Makes a Good Man?" three times in a row the first time I heard it. (Well, five.) Reminiscent of grindhouse soundtracks and Enter the Wu-Tang, the sinister production--which they did themselves--is what makes the album such a grower. Menacing strings, grimy horns, and a blurry guitar create the thick backdrop for Swaby's mind-boggling vocal acrobatics: When he's not being gritty and tortured, he sounds almost tender, with the decisive enunciation and precise modulation of Curtis Mayfield. RW BRUXA, WE ARE LIKE THE SPIDER, BEYONDADOUBT, TR-187 (Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See Music, pg. 13. MUSICFESTNW: HOT SNAKES, RED FANG, HUNGRY GHOST (Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Almost exactly 10 years ago in these very pages, fl edgling music writer Ezra Ace Caraeff declared Hot Snakes to be the "best punk band alive." Caraeff has since come and gone as the Mercury 's music editor, but now this writer upholds his statement. Rick Froberg and John Reis formed the band in San Diego in 1999, seeking creative control over their music after major-label experiences with their pioneering project Drive Like Jehu. Along with bassist Gar Wood and oscillating drummers Jason Kourkonis and Mario Rubalcaba, the Snakes created three albums of lovingly crafted and jubilantly performed rock 'n' roll, self-released on Reis' Swami label. Over a six-year interlude in which band members devoted themselves to other projects, a widespread dedication to independent music took root across the country and globe. The music and model of Hot Snakes persist as a beacon of what it means to love and make music without compromise. MARANDA BISH DUNES, THE CALDONIAS, NUCULAR AMINALS (Boom Bap!, 640 SE Stark) A recent visit to North Killingsworth record store/pub Record Room yielded the info that the Psychic Feline 7-inch I'd purchased could possibly be the last... ever. As in, the promising psych-garage trio, recently off a US tour, is no more. Whether or not that's the impetus for this week's Caldonias reunion show at Boom Bap! is up for debate. The garage-soul group--rounded out by Psychic Feliners Bob Desaulniers and Sydney Roth and fronted by Nadia Buyse--halted its tour de force in 2009, as Buyse went on to local notoriety for her anything-goes fronting of Tombstalker/Bloodbraid, Ghost Mom, and the Adrian Piper Cover Band. Buyse's vocals alone can make a band, utilizing both bubblegum-pop techniques as well as full-throated punk squeals and soul-thundering range. Welcome back! RJP Happy Hour 2 � 8pm Everyday! Full Bar & Menu Until 2:30am 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 503-239-1143 MUSICFESTNW: PASSION PIT, LP (Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) The heliumsuck pop of Passion Pit doesn't exactly indicate a brooding, damaged soul at work, but with a batch of tour dates canceled earlier this summer to improve frontman Michael Angelakos' "mental health," it seems there's more going on underneath Passion Pit's bubbly surface than meets the eye. That marriage of dysfunctional angst and purest, shimmering pop can yield great dividends (see: Kanye), and Passion Pit's just-released record, Gossamer, seemed poised to become a sensation. But it just doesn't sound quite good enough to be one. Rather, it gets bogged down in ordinary, plodding rock-radio rhythms even as its zooming, candy-coated pop accessorizing vainly tries to tug it up into the stratosphere. NL MONDAY 9/3 LEE FIELDS AND THE EXPRESSIONS (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) It's a rare thing: a man contributes influentially to one of the most significant periods in music history and, more than 40 years after the beginning of his career, continues to tour and put out albums that capture all the precious elements of that era. Lee Fields is a museum unto himself, and he writes without a single apprehension toward emphasizing the now-nostalgic sensuality of soul music. All the still-active greats that come to mind--Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, David Bowie (who's hopefully still active)-- ventured into new territory in subsequent decades, which is fine and typically a byproduct of fruitfulness, but there's something so worthwhile about a musician that continues to swoon through the same methodology he became known for. JM Also see My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. MUSICFESTNW: SLOAN, BOBBY BARE JR., THE MINUS 5 (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Among my most cherished stereotypes is the one I have for Canadians being fair, reliable, and down to earth. (It's okay, some of my best friends are from Canada.) The poster band for my oversimplifi cation is certainly Sloan. Each of the four members write and play their own songs, and in two decades, they haven't had a single personnel change. But this heartwarming democracy would be meaningless if they weren't so consistently enjoyable. On The Double Cross, their 10th, they've made their most tasteful album yet. This is really saying something, because it runs the gamut among such seemingly at-odds sounds as folk ("Green Gardens, Cold Montreal" sounds like a Donovan cover) and disco ("Your Daddy Will Do"). An ineffable sense of warmth and generosity holds the stylistic pastiche together and puts Double Cross among the best Sloan albums, including 1994's Twice Removed, which they perform in full tonight. RW TUESDAY 9/4 JANE'S ADDICTION, BIG BLACK DELTA (Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay) I'm a little weirded out that VH1 supposedly named Jane's Addiction the 35th best hard rock artist of all time, when only about a third of the group's output in any way "rocks." (Even then, it's more like a gentle sway.) Hey guys, did you forget about the band's biggest hit, that delicate, Tropicana-tinged, acoustic sing-along "Jane Says," complete with steel fucking drums? Oh, and their latest August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 19 503.288.3895 3939 N. Mississippi firstname.lastname@example.org 8pm doors/ 9pm show 21+ unless otherwise noted BarBar all ages until 9pm Expansive post-punk soul WITCH MOUNTAIN STOVOKOR VekTor Thu, Aug 30 $8 Adv THE UPTOWN SOUND Fri, Aug 31 $13 Adv JC BROOKS & Progressive sci-fi thrash metal from Arizona favorites KAY KAY & HIS WEATHERED UNDERGROUND BRENT AMAKER Sun, Sept 2 Featuring Noelle, Mr. Charming (Gaycation), II Trill (Twerk), Il Camino, Bloodhound Photography and more $5 Day of Show & THE RODEO DOLLYWOOD BABYLON $5 Adv MRS: 2 COOL 4 SCHOOL Mon, Sept 3 / Patio FREE SHOW / ALL AGES WITCH MOUNTAIN 4pm Doors / 4pm Show STOVOKOR Jack Daniels Presents Mississippin' with Old-school cowpunk and country new wave from Seattle innovators Mississippi Studios Annual Folk Fest Prequel: Mon, Sept 3 6:30 Doors / 7 Show Mostly Seated $5-$10 "GIRL MODEL" Sandmans cowboy/indiefolk/rap style is entirely his own. Chris Sand DAN WEBER THE SALE record release ACOUSTIC MINDS THE DRUTHERS Tue, Sept 4 7pm doors / 8pm show $11 Adv superhumanoids JJAMZ With musical roots from the 70s, 80s and 90s, tonight marks the highly anticipated release of 11:11 Alialujah Choir Lemolo mbilly MFNW Wristband or $12 at door Thu, Sept 6 Wed, Sept 5 MFNW Wristband or $12 at door ADVENTURE GALLEY PURITY RING Shrines MFNW PRESENTS THE JACK DANIELS STAGE: Dreamy pop, summery 60s harmonies, new-wave electronics, and the dissonance of 90s indie rock Pokey LaFarge & The South City Three MFNW PRESENTS THE JACK DANIELS STAGE: American blues, country & Western swing from the days when 78's ruled the record player Mississippi studios & opbMusic preseNt pdX/rX: Our 3rd annual MFNW day party offering music inside-n-out from a bevy of artists, sweet treats & $11 Adv more from PDX sponsors 7 doors / 8 show DEEP SEA DIVER BRAINSTORM Joe Pug BROWN BIRD CASEY NEILL & THE NORWAY RATS SARAH GWEN PETERS FREE SHOW Fri, Sept 7 MFNW WristbaNd or $14 at the door HEY MARSEILLES TYLER LYLE THE DIMES MFNW PRESENTS THE JACK DANIELS STAGE: Cool country and Americana from the most illuminating of performers Sat, Sept 8, 7pm Doors / 8pm Show MFNW WristbaNd or $13 at the door Earlimart INCREDIBLE YACHT CONTROL GENDERS Menomena Sun, Sept 9 Free With MFNW WristbaNd or $8/adv Sat, Sept 8, 11am Doors / 12pm Show � 21+ "An album as a sculpture... compulsively listenable" PITCHFORK (BEST NEW MUSIC) OUT NOW Milo greene Coming Soon... 9/9: SCHOOL OF ROCK: Summer Mix Tape (Early) 9/10: BRIAN BLADE & MAMA ROSA 9/12: THE BRIGHT LIGHT SOCIAL HOUR 9/13: THE FRESH & ONLYS 9/14: JUNO WHAT?! MFNW PRESENTS THE JACK DANIELS STAGE: Ethereal pop and dreamy vocals at once boldly original and charming 4ad.COM PURITYRINGSONGS.COM MFNW Presents the Jack Daniels Stage: Ethereal indie rock that transcends 9/15: Mississippi Studios and Eleven Magazine Presents: NURSES 9/16: SCHOOL OF ROCK: Black Keys vs White Stripes (Early) 9/16: ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST 50th Anniversary Celebration (Late) 9/18: THE DEFIBULATORS 9/19: HOLOGRAMS 9/20: RUBBLEBUCKET plus REPTAR 9/21: BLACK PRAIRIE (Record Release) Performing at Music Fest NW September 6th *Offer good through: 9/26/12 $11.99 Cd $16.99 LP mississippistudios.com 20 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 LIVE MUSIC KARL BLAU Ella Street Social Club, 8/31 SARAH CASS THURSDAY 8/30 ALBERTA STREET PUBLIC HOUSE--Queen Bitch, 9 pm AL'S DEN--Pheasant, Ryan Sollee, Pony Village, 8 pm, free ANDINA--Borikuas, 7 pm, free ARTICHOKE MUSIC--Songwriter Roundup, 7 pm, $5 ASH STREET SALOON--Pool Party, One Movement, The New Pioneers, Eminent, Buck Turtle, 9:30 pm, $6 BACK DOOR THEATER--Kayo Dot, Toby Driver, 7:30 pm BACKSPACE--Sparrow Ghost Collective: Muscle & Marrow, C3, Jupiter Monday, 7 pm, free, all ages BERRYDALE PARK--The Stolen Sweets, 6:30 pm, free BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Afroknot, 9 pm BLUE DIAMOND--Ben Jones, 9 pm BLUE MONK--Alan Jones, 8 pm BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE--A Tiempo, 5:30 pm BUFFALO GAP--From the Well Presents: Jon Rankin, Chris Margolin, 9 pm, free CAMELLIA LOUNGE--Ruth Beck, Jamie Palmaymesa, 8 pm CLYDE'S PRIME RIB--Jim Mesi, Steve Bradley, 7 pm CORKSCREW WINE BAR--Joseph Appel, 8 pm CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Superfest: Glass Candy, Chromatics, Litanic Mask, Etbonz, DJ Maxx Bass, 8 pm, $12, all ages DANTE'S--Ape Machine, Old Kingdom, Mondo Deca, 9 pm DOUG FIR--Vintage Trouble, 9 pm, $12-14 DUFF'S GARAGE--Tough Love Pyle, 6 pm, $2; Con Brio, 9 pm EAST BURN--Anna & the Underbelly, 10 pm, free EAT: AN OYSTER BAR--Steve Cheseborough, 7 pm EDGEFIELD--Sugarcane, 6 pm, free, all ages THE ELIXIR LAB--Johnny D's Community Jam, 7 pm GOODFOOT--Songwriters in the Round: Eric Schwieterman, Mike D, 9 pm GRAND CAFE/ANDREA'S CHA CHA CLUB--Pilon d'Azucar Salsa Band, 9:30 pm HALIBUT'S--Terry Robb, 8 pm, free; Suburban Slim, 8 pm, free HAWTHORNE THEATRE--Eyehategod, Dirtnap, Kingdom Under Fire, Never Awake, 7 pm, $18-20, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--Bubble Cats, American Friction, 5 pm HEATHMAN--Johnny Martin, 7 pm; Mary Kadderly, 7 pm, free HOLOCENE--Maga Bo, Gulls, DJ E3, 9 pm, $6 IVORIES--Laura Cunard, 5:30 pm, free JADE LOUNGE--Her Ghost, Patti King, Ashia Grzesik, 7 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Mel Brown B3 Organ Band, 8 pm, $5 KELLS--Cronin Tierney, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Kaleido Skull, On Holiday, Sweeping Exits, 9 pm, $5 KENNEDY SCHOOL--Sidestar, 7 pm, free, all ages KENTON CLUB--Manx, Snarl, Bottom Feeders, Brain Capital, 9 pm, free LANDMARK SALOON--The Pick Ups, 8:30 pm, free LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Lewi Longmire Band, 6 pm; Sam Adams Band, 9:30 pm THE LOVECRAFT--Electrozeitzone: Rudement, Camino Acid, DJ Awesomemix, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Vektor, Witch Mountain, Stovokor, 9 pm, $8-10 MOCK CREST TAVERN--Eric Vanderwall, 8:30 pm MUDDY RUDDER--Eric John Kaiser, 8 pm O'CONNORS VAULT--Kathy James Quintet, 7 pm, $5 OREGON CONVENTION CENTER--Plaza Palooza: Quarterflash, 5 pm, free, all ages PINTS BREWING--Next 2 the Tracks, 9 pm, free PLAN B--The Infected, The Wobblies, Dun Bin Had, Yo Adrian, 8 pm THE PRESS CLUB--Inky Shadows, Kin Trio, 8 pm QUIMBY'S AT 19TH--Chris Baum Project, 9 pm, free RECORD ROOM--Jeremy Burton Band, Whore Hound, 8 pm, free RED ROOM--Taitered Oats, Dusty Grimm, Highwater, 9 pm ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Kent Smith, 9:30 pm ROTTURE--The Body, Author & Punisher, Hot Victory, 9 pm, $8 SLABTOWN--The Fabulous Downey Brothers, Airpocalypse, 9 pm SLIM'S--Melody Guy, 9 pm, free THE SPARE ROOM--Open Mic, 9:30 pm STAR THEATER--Pojama People, Ike Willis, 9 pm, $12 TED'S--Volifonix, Marca Luna, 9:30 pm TIGER BAR--Karaoke from Hell, 9:30 pm, free TOM MCCALL WATERFRONT PARK--Oregon Symphony, Portland Youth Philharmonic, 5 pm, free, all ages TONIC LOUNGE--Brown Bear, FMPM, Sphyramid, 9:30 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Sneaky Tiki & The Lava Lounge Orchestra, 7:30 pm, $10 VIE DE BOHEME--Tribute to Billy Byers: John Dover Big Band, 7:30 pm THE WAYPOST--Whethermen, 7 pm WHITE EAGLE--Will West & Tanner Cundy, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Garcia Birthday Band, 9 pm, free WILF'S--Alan Broadbent, 7:30 pm FRIDAY 8/31 BOOM BAP!--The Tempers, Daniel Severin, Magic Fades, William Ingrid, 9 pm, $3 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Soul Rebels Brass Band, 9 pm, $15-18 ALBERTA STREET PUBLIC HOUSE--Mikey's Irish Jam Session, 6:30 pm; Matty Charles, John Courage & the Great Plains, 9:30 pm AL'S DEN--Pheasant, Nathan Baumgartner, Blake Mackey, 8 pm, free ANDINA--Rueda, 8 pm, free ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL--Diana Krall, Denzal Sinclaire, 8 pm, $79-100, all ages ARTICHOKE MUSIC--Friday Night Coffeehouse, $5, all ages ASH STREET SALOON--Hellokopter, Violet Isle, Just Lions, 9:30 pm BACKSPACE--Superfest: Magic Mouth, DJ Beyondadoubt, Massacooramaan, White Rainbow, The Miracles Club, 9 pm, $7, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Lynn Conover, 6 pm, all ages; Funk Shui, 9:30 pm BLUE DIAMOND--Deep Blue Soul Revue, 9 pm BUFFALO GAP--Begin Oliver, 9 pm, free CAMELLIA LOUNGE--Will Coca, Kelsey Lindstrom, 8 pm, $5 CANVAS ART BAR--Open Mic: Steve Huber, 7 pm, free, all ages CRYSTAL BALLROOM--Yeasayer, Daughn Gibson, 8 pm, $22-25 DANTE'S--The Objex, 9:30 pm SUN 9/2 - JERRY GARCIA CELEBRATION w/ ANDY COE BAND, CATS UNDER THE STARS SAT 9/1 - BROWNOUT FRI 8/31 - DJ AQUAMAN'S SOUL STEW THURS 8/30 SONGWRITERS in the ROUND ERIC SCHWIETERMAN, MIKE D, WED 8/29 - TRIO SUBTONIC, CON BRIO MON - SONIC FORUM OPEN MIC TUES 9/24 - RADULA - FREE!!! Kyle Gossman, Mario Robert Matt Schlosky, Tripper Dungan ART OPENING THURS 8/30 GOODFOOT irs upsta aily d open :30 5-2 airs st down at 9 n ope w nights o on sh WED 9/5 MOTHER SHREW, LEO J and the MELEE THURS 9/6 PHILLY'S PHUNKESTRA FRI 9/7DJ MAGNETO & FRIENDS SAT 9/8 GOODFOOT ALL-STARS TUES 9/11 - RADULA - FREE!!! DISJECTA--Techne Rendered Dawn: Matt Carlson, Jason Urick, The Tenses, 6 pm, free, all ages DOUG FIR--Civil Twilight, Morning Parade, Vanaprasta, 9 pm, $12 DUFF'S GARAGE--The Hamdogs, 6 pm, $2; Can't Hardly Playboys, 9 pm 2845 SE STARK * WWW.THEGOODFOOT.COM * 503.239.9292 August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 21 Back tO schOOl� Save on this summer's bestsellers take sOme cOOl $11.95-cd/20.95-lp Jack White Blunderbuss Frank Ocean channel Orange $12.95-cd $11.95-cd/$15.95-reg lp metric synthetica $11.95-cd/$20.95-dlx cd $11.95-cd/$16.95-lp $17.95-lp sale prices good thru 9.9.12 FiOna apple idler Wheel... Beach hOuse Bloom alaBama shakes Boys & Girls $9.95-cd/$11.95-lp used new &s & Vinyl Vd Cds, d DOWNTOWN � 1313 W. Burnside � 503.274.0961 EASTSIDE � 1931 NE Sandy Blvd. � 503.239.7610 BEAVERTON � 3290 SW Cedar Hills Blvd. � 503.350.0907 for any & all used Cds, dVds & Vinyl OPEN EVERYDAY AT 9A.m. | www.EVERYDAYmusic.cOm Laurelthirst PUBLIC HOUSE 2958 NE Glisan � 503-232-1504 LaurelThirst.com Weekend breakfast 9am�3pm Free happy hour music every day! Thursday, August 30th Lewi Longmire Band (6pm) Sam Adams' Band (9:30pm) Friday, August 31st Mary Flower Trio (6pm) Copper & Coal, Medicine Family, The Barn Burners (9:30pm) Saturday, September 1st Tree Frogs (6pm) Blvd. Park, Everyday Prophets (9:30pm) Sunday, September 2nd CLOSED Monday, September 3rd CLOSED Tuesday, September 4th Jackstraw (6pm) Wednesday, September 5th The Barbeque Orchestra (6pm) Sam Eliad (& band), Scott Law (free) (9pm) Thursday, September 6th Lewi Longmire Band (6pm) Jimmy Boyer Band (9:30pm) 22 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 LIVE MUSIC (aka Ben saMPles) friday september 14 crystal ballroom 1332 w Burnside st � Portland, or 8:00PM show � all ages tickets at cascade tickets charge By Phone 855-cas-tixx x2 also at crystal BallrooM Box office samples ATTN. IMBECILE: The Mercury cretins now have a "mobile website," so you can feel "stupid" on the go. Visit it, and regret doing so immediately. squarepegconcerts.com TY SEGALL Bunk Bar, 9/2 ANNABEL MEHRAN mercmobile.com Blogs/Events/Movies EAST BURN--Pagan Jug Band, 10 pm, free EAST END--The We Shared Milk, Charts, The Harm, Loaded for Bear, 8 pm, $5 EDGEFIELD--Half Hearted, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Karl Blau, Thanksgiving, The Pajama Party, I am the Lake of Fire, 9 pm, $8 FIRKIN TAVERN--The Instigators: Child Children, Rllrbll, 8 pm FOGGY NOTION--Apocalysp, DJ Weinerslave, DJ Pork Belly, 9 pm, free FORD FOOD & DRINK--Brian Granse, 5 pm, free, all ages; Katie Roberts, 8 pm, free, all ages FUNHOUSE LOUNGE--The Quags, Deep Joy, The Wolfman Fairies, Brian Berg, 9 pm, $7 HAWTHORNE THEATRE--Prong, Witchburn, Nemesis, Separation of Sanity, Guillotine, 7 pm, $13-15, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--New York Rifles, 5 pm, free ISLAND MANA WINES--David & Goliath, 4 pm; Joe Marquand, 4:30 pm IVORIES--Rebecca Kilgore, Dave Frishberg, Lee Wuthenow, Tom Wakeling, 8 pm JADE LOUNGE--Racquel Russo, The Darlin' Blackbirds, 6 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Ben Macy, Blake Lyman, 8 pm, $10 KATIE O'BRIEN'S--Neutralboy, 48 Thrills, Therapists, Murderland, Bitch School, 9 pm, $5 KELLS--Cronin Tierney, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Billions & Billions, Sons of Huns, 100 Watt Mind, 9 pm, $5 KENTON CLUB--Sundaze, Lubec, The Silent Numbers, Jetman Jet Team, 9 pm, free THE KNOW--Au Dunes, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Woolen Men, 8 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Mary Flower Trio, 6 pm; Copper & Coal, Medicine Family, Barn Burners, 9:30 pm LVS--Ben Jones, 9 pm MACADAM'S BAR & GRILL--The Wasteland Kings, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Steady Boys, 6 pm; All the Apparatus, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound, Kay Kay & His Weathered Underground, 9 pm, $13-15 MT. TABOR THEATER--Jet Force Gemini, She's Not Dead, The Wandering Minds, Another Night with the Pornographers, 9:30 pm, $6 MUDDY RUDDER--Bass Mandolin, 8 pm MUSIC MILLENNIUM--Civil Twilight, Morning Parade, 6 pm, free, all ages NEL CENTRO--Mike Pardew, 9:30 pm O'CONNORS VAULT--Lisa Mann, 8 pm, $5 PONDEROSA LOUNGE (AT JUBITZ)--Countryside Ride, 9 pm, $5 PORTLAND SPIRIT--The Strange Tones, 3 pm, $28 THE PRESS CLUB--Steve Hale Trio, 8 pm PROPER EATS CAFE--Armadillo Speedbump, 8 pm, free, all ages RED ROOM--Potbelly, Blast Femur, No Red Flags, Yo Adrian, Faithless Saints, 9 pm, $6 ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Zenda Torrey, 10 pm ROTTURE--Drawn & Quartered, Scorched Earth, Ceremonial Castings, Fornicator, 9:30 pm, $7 SCOREBOARD--Cirijaye Band, Lowdown Sophisticates, Primitive Idols, 9 pm, free SLABTOWN--Poor Luckies, 9 pm SLIM'S--The Twangshifters, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Bazillionaire, Tianamen Bear, My Autumn's Done Come, Souvenir Driver, 9 pm, $5 THE TARDIS ROOM--Rewel Raines, Tevis Hodge Jr., 9 pm TED'S--The Sexbots, Unicorn Domination, SuperDuperFunGun, 9 pm, $10 THIRSTY LION--Jonny Smokes, 9:30 pm TIGER BAR--Shock, Rock, & Two Smoking Lenses: Adrian H & The Wounds, 9 pm, $6 TONIC LOUNGE--A Gatherin' Storm, Castle, The Pyrenees, Jared Brannan, The Caste, 9 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Tony's AM Gold Show: Tony Starlight, 8 pm, $16 TRADER VIC'S--Tribute to Frank Sinatra: John English, 5 pm TRIPLE NICKEL--Video Night Fever: DJ Stockholmz, 9:30 pm VIE DE BOHEME--Everything's Jake, 8:30 pm THE WAYPOST--Collin Donnell, 8 pm THE WHISKEY BAR--Kinetic Emcees, Task1NE, Landon Wordswell, Bad Habitat, Kable Roc, Pirhanna Jawz, Alexander the Great, Eminent, Hoyt Latte, Paper Cuts, DJ Cut It Up, 9 pm WHITE EAGLE--The Reverb Brothers, 5:30 pm, free, all ages; Stan McMahon Band, Counterfeit Cash, Duover, 9:30 pm, $6 WILF'S--Tony Pacini, 7:30 pm Pizza & Atlantis 4 BaBes Playing the Music of ZePPelin Lounge & Grand royale a triBute to the Beastie Boys friday sept 21 dante's tickets at safeway/ticketswest charge By Phone 503-224-tixx - Friday, August 31 9pm All the Apparatus - Saturday, September 1 9pm Nathaniel Talbot, Lincoln Crockett - Monday, September 3 8pm Bingo & Bourbon with Brian Perez - Tuesday, September 4 9pm Baby Ketten Karaoke - Wednesday, September 5 7pm Quizissippi Team Trivia 9:30 Sam Cooper 3552 N. Mississippi Ave sunday october 7 aladdin theatre tickets at all ticketMaster locations charge By Phone 1-800-745-3000 SATURDAY 9/1 ALADDIN THEATER--Ian Hunter, The Minus 5, 8 pm, $35 AL'S DEN--Pheasant, Charts, 8 pm, free ARTICHOKE MUSIC--Simon Lynge, 8 pm, $15 ASH STREET SALOON--Faithless Saints, Secnd Best, Big Electric, Stuck on Nothing, 9:30 pm, $5 BACKSPACE--Superfest: B�isbol, Arohan, Palmas, Grapefruit, American Girls, 9 pm, $7, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW'S--The Barkers, 6 pm, all ages; The Lovely Lost, 9:30 pm BLUE DIAMOND--The Undercover Band, 9 pm BLUE MONK--Eddie Martinez, 9 pm BRASSERIE MONTMARTRE--Eddie Parente Trio, 8 pm BUFFALO GAP--Lost & Found, Blake Noble, 9 pm DANTE'S--Papa Dynamite, 9 pm, Free DOUG FIR--Fruit Bats, Pearly Gate Music, 9 pm, $15 DUFF'S GARAGE--Ken Derouchie Band, 9 pm EAST END--Isaac Rother & the Phantoms, Hookers, Country Trash, 9 pm EDGEFIELD--Dan Haley, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Prince R.O.B., Yung HD, Blackwater, YunG Savages, BDP, 919, Spike Roscoe, BMP503, Hook Broz, Ogtweez, Wes Guy, PDXtraFly, Great Dain, Mean Mr. Green, Ton B. Fresco, 6:30 pm, $10-13 FIRKIN TAVERN--Wilkinson Blades, My Fellow Traveler, 8 pm GOODFOOT--Brownout, 9 pm, $10 HALIBUT'S--Jim Mesi, 8 pm, free HAWTHORNE HOPHOUSE--Josiah Payne, Ken Chapple, 9 pm, free HAWTHORNE THEATRE--Fishbone, The Sentiments, The Longshots, The Sindicate, NighTrain, 7 pm, $15-18 HOPHOUSE (NE 15TH)--Switchgrass, 8:30 pm, free, all ages IVORIES--Laura Cunard, 5:30 pm, free; Farnell Newton, 8 pm, $10, all ages JADE LOUNGE--Ryan Short, Lucas Biespiel, 6 pm KATIE O'BRIEN'S--Hot LZs, Thee Four Teens, Hot Sack, 9 pm, $3 KELLS--Cronin Tierney, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Aan, Kitkin, Tartufi, Exploring the Depths, 9 pm, $8 KENTON CLUB--Ghostwriter, Spanish Galleons, Land Between the Lakes, 9 pm, free THE KNOW--Diesto, Winter Ox, Towers, 8 pm House of Floyd tickets at safeway/ticketswest � charge By Phone 503-224-tixx Pink floyd triBute saturday october 6 dante's tickets at cascade tickets charge By Phone 855-cas-tixx x2 also at crystal BallrooM Box office tuesday oct 16 crystal ballroom the next Best thing to Johnny cash tickets at safeway/ticketswest � charge By Phone 503-224-tixx saturday november 3 dante's & suGarcane sunday nov 10 aladdin theatre tickets at all ticketMaster locations charge By Phone 1-800-745-3000 August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 23 THURSDAY! LIVE-WIRED, STRAIGHT-SHOOTIN, DIRTY-MOUTH'D, PELVIS-PUSHING JUKE MUSIC FROM LA VINTAGE TROUBLE � $12 ADVANCE FRIDAY! CIVIL TWILIGHT MORNING PARADE +VANAPRASTA EPIC AND ATMOSPHERIC ROCK FROM SOUTH AFRICA A SPECIAL LABOR DAY WEEKEND SOIREE WITH PDX'S FAVORED SONS SATURDAY! THURSDAY AUGUST 30 Thursday 8/30 Manx, SNARL, Bottom Feeders, Brain Capitol Friday 8/31 Sundaze, Lupec, The Silent Numbers Saturday 9/1 Ghostwriter, Spanish Galleons, Land between The Lakes Sunday 9/2 Schlande, The Happening, The Fourteens Tuesday 9/4 Stupid Man Suit w/ Special Guests THE HEAVY HIGH ENERGY NEO-SOUL FROM THE UK +PEARLY GATE MUSIC FRIDAY AUGUST 31 � $12 ADVANCE SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 1 � $15 ADVANCE open 10:30am - 2:30 am daily 2025 N. Kilpatrick St. 503-285-3718 BONA-FIDE, PURE RETRO SOUL FROM &THE EXPRESSIONS +THE SILENT COMEDY LEE FIELDS � $13 ADVANCE MAKE IT A NIGHT $13 ADVANCE SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 2 � PERFORMING TWICE REMOVED SLOAN MUSICFEST NORTHWEST PRESENTS Present that night's show ticket and get $3 off any menu item Sun - Thur in the dining room 830 E BURNSIDE � 503-231-WOOD � www.dougfirlounge.com MONDAY SEPTEMBER 3 WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 5 � BOBBY BARE JR. +MINUS 5 $15 ADVANCE SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, LATE-NIGHT. FOOD SPECIALS 3-6 PM EVERYDAY, COVERED SMOKING PATIO, FIREPLACE ROOM, LOTS OF LOG. LIVE SHOWS IN THE LOUNGE... DOUG FIR RESTAURANT + BAR OPEN 7AM�2:30AM EVERYDAY MOONFACE SAD BABY WOLF KISHI BASHI THE LAST BISON $13 AT THE DOOR OR MFNW WRISTBAND PRESENTS PRESENTS THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 6 � STRATEGY +SWAHILI AN EVENING OF EPIC INDIE ROCK FROM VIRGINIA ONUINU BLACK JOHN MOUNTAIN MAUS $15 AT THE DOOR OR MFNW WRISTBAND PRESENTS +THE WE SHARED MILK SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 8 � ALAN ISAKOV GREGORY TIMELESS SONGWRITING FROM WELL-TRAVELED TROUBADOUR QUEST FOR FIRE FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 7 � BACARDI PRESENTS THE BACK TO BASICS SERIES ETERNAL SUMMERS TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 11 � $10 ADVANCE LYRICAL MUSINGS FROM ACCLAIMED AUSTRALIA SINGER/SONGWRITER OLD LIGHT +GRANDPARENTS $17 AT THE DOOR OR MFNW WRISTBAND MONDAY SEPTEMBER 10 � +JEFFREY FOUCAULT $12 ADVANCE NEV ER A COV ER! HALO REFUSER SPOREGANIC SOUNDS +POTATOFINGER ADVENTURE GALLEY BACARDI PRESENTS THE BACK TO BASICS SERIES - WHAT'S NEXT FROM THE WELL PRESENTS (SONGWRITERS IN THE ROUND) 9PM THURSDAY AUGUST 30 ANGUS STONE WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 12 � $5 ADVANCE MIKE COYKENDALL AN ALBUM RELEASE CELEBRATION WITH BELOVED PDX SONGSTER THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 13 � MINDEN +SHY GIRLS $5 ADVANCE BEGIN OLIVER FRIDAY AUGUST 31 (POP ROCK) 9PM FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 14 � $12 ADVANCE SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 15 � +1939 ENSEMBLE $8 ADVANCE Bad Books 10/7 Thee Oh Sees 10/8 - All Ages Matinee! Thee Oh Sees 10/9 - 21+ Radney Foster 10/14 Freelance Whales 10/20 Sea Wolf 11/3 Rachel Yamagata 11/17 Emeli Sande 11/27 All of these shows on sale at Ticketfly.com LOST AND FOUND W/ BLAKE NOBLE (FOLK POP ROCK) 9PM WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 5 SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 1 THE AGGROLITES 9/16 � SAUL WILLIAMS 9/18 �SONDRE LERCHE 9/19 � SALLIE FORD & THE SOUND OUTSIDE 9/21 SASSPARILLA 9/22 � K.FLAY 9/26 � DRAGONETTE 9/27 � MIKE WATT & THE MISSINGMEN 9/29 � FIREWATER 9/30 � TYCHO 10/2 SEAN HAYES 10/3 � SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE 10/4 � BAD BOOKS 10/7 � THEE OH SEES 10/8 & 10/9 ADVANCE TICKETS AT TICKETFLY - www.tickfly.com and at JACKPOT RECORDS � SUBJECT TO SERVICE CHARGE &/OR USER FEE ALL SHOWS: 8PM DOORS / 9PM SHOW � 21+ UNLESS NOTED � BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS � ROOM PACKAGES AVAILABLE AT www.jupiterhotel.com "SUMMERTIME SERENADE" W/ LIVE MUSIC 7PM SAVE THE DATE GAPFEST OCT 8-14 6835 SW Macadam 503-244-7111 www.thebuffalogap.com 24 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 + Photo by Alin Dragulin Paint & Fire by Steve Mathews Time After Time The Mercury 's Guide to TBA's 10th Year by Alison Hallett IS QUITE A YEAR for the Time-Based Art Festival. It marks the festival's 10th anniversary, and the first year the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art, which puts on the fest, has had its own space--PICA moved offices from the Wieden+Kennedy building to SW 10th earlier this year. It's also the last year TBA will take place at Washington High School, which has been the fest's de facto home since 2009. It's a year that sees the festival reconsidering its approach to visual art programming. And it turned out to be the year I officially ran out of time-related puns with which to headline the Mercury's TBA guide. ("Time... Based Art Is on Your Side"?) Most significantly, though, this marks the first year of curation by the fest's new permanent artistic director, Angela Mattox. Mattox comes to TBA after eight years at San Francisco's Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, and signs of her confident curatorial hand 2012 are already evident. This year's programming is markedly more international than in years past, with artists from the Balkans, Japan, Zimbabwe, Mexico, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo among the usual suspects from New York and the UK. "TBA must be part of the international discourse, both in its content and in its presence in the discussion," Mattox told me a few months ago, explaining that part of her challenge as curator is to figure out "how to connect local conversations with global ones." And she's remarkably explicit about themes this year's festival is exploring: resistance to oppression, freedom of speech, activism, and democracy. It's a far cry from the "themes will emerge as the festival unfolds!" approach of past curators, and bodes well for a tenure of relevant, engaged programming. TBA's an annual crash course in world-class performance art, and this guide is our attempt to make sense of it all. (And okay, occasionally make fun of it-just a tiny little bit.) We'll also be reviewing the festival's shows at portlandmercury.com/tba. + DISCOVER FRESH SOLUTIONS 503.752.1893 P2 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 African Dance Nora Chipaumire on Displacement, Exile, and African Identity by Jenna Lechner 20 12 + C Digging Up the Present The US Debut of Mexican Theater Company Lagartijas Tiradas al Sol by Noah Dunham but also becoming cultural archeologists of T'S A FAMILIAR tale: two 19-year-olds sorts, an aspect of their craft that will be evimeet at university, study a craft together, and dent in the two pieces they are bringdevelop a partnership that aims to give ing to TBA:12. The first, El Rumor voice to their generation. "Whatdel Incendio (The Sound of ever that means," Luisa Pardo Lagartijas Fire), focuses on accounts and Gabino Rodr�guez joke from young revolutionaries while recalling the humble Tiradas in 1960s Mexico. And the beginnings of their Mexico al Sol second, Asalto al Agua City-based theater collecTransparente (The Assault tive Lagartijas Tiradas al El Rumor del Incendio on Clear Waters), is an exSol (Lizards Basking in the (The Sound of Fire) amination of the centuriesSun). The two will be perWinningstad Theater at PCPA, long drainage of the Lake forming for the first time in the Fri Sept 7-Sun Sept 9, Texcoco lake formation just United States at TBA:12, and 6:30 pm, $20-25 outside of Mexico City. (The seem pleased that the days of shows will be presented in Spanpandering to their age demographic ish, with supertitles in English.) are over. "Since then, we are making Both of these productions are considplays that are very related to our lives. Literered "documentary plays," in which ally and in any other possible sense," the actors who portray historical they say. characters also act as presPardo and Rodr�guez coLagartijas ent-day investigators unveilfounded their collaboration Tiradas ing a narrative that isn't just in 2003 after meeting at a history lesson, but also a the National Autonomous al Sol contemporary conversaUniversity of Mexico, and Asalto al Agua tion. A somewhat overly in 10 years they've built Transparente (The Assault meta device perhaps, but an award-winning, interon Clear Waters) Pardo and Rodr�guez ponationally touring theater Bodyvox, Mon Sept 10, 8:30 pm, etically defend it: company. It was ambiTues Sept 11-Wed Sept 12, "We do not see the hutious from the get-go: "We 6:30 pm, $20-25 man as an essence, but started Lagartijas Tiradas al as the result of a story that it Sol because we want to make builds. We want to build the theater everything, all the time," they exthrough an account of ourselves." plain. Which not only means performing, I ANDREA LOPEZ JUAN LEDUC ANTOINE TEMPE other dancer--Okwui Okpokwasili (born in the AN DANCE address politics? How, and Bronx to Nigerian parents)--in a duet called Mirwhat would it look like? Several TBA:12 periam. The title pulls from female icons the Virgin formers engage that question, including choreogMary and Miriam Makeba--a South African singer rapher and dancer Nora Chipaumire. Chipaumire and civil rights activist who was exiled for grew up during apartheid and guerilla war30 years. Miriam is character driven; fare in Zimbabwe, immigrating to the where much of contemporary African United States in 1989. She began Nora dance is male-centric, Chipaumire dancing shortly thereafter and has Chipaumire addresses the female. Its concern since garnered a fair amount of atis the space between private and tention--she's received two covMiriam public expectations of the female eted Bessie Awards and was the Lincoln Hall at PSU, body, particularly the subjugation topic of the 2008 documentary Fri Sept 7-Sat Sept 8, of the African female body, often Nora (which screened at the Mu8:30 pm, $20-25 drawing comparisons to the content seum of Modern Art). When dancof artist Kara Walker. In place of a lining, Chipaumire has a hypnotizing ear storyline, Chipaumire's dances favor effect. She moves with focus and fury, abstraction and striking visuals. her head shaved and her sculpted body taut. Chipaumire has discussed the branding of AfShe often crouches, her legs cast wide, her head rica--as a land of genocide, of poverty, and even of down. Her steps tend toward stomps. She flails safaris--as a strong concern in her work. To Porther arms, and then she flings her entire body to landers, Africa may seem like a distant place, acthe ground in tireless repetition. Her topics--discessible only through mediated sources. Chipauplacement, exile, and African identity--are laced mire's work offers an additional dimension. Social with autobiographical conviction. Her dances are awareness comes in many ways; often, seeing is intimate, with a quiet intensity where she mines believing. It may only be one perspective, but Miriher personal history. am gives us a chance to witness it. For TBA:12, Chipaumire will perform with one August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P3 + ATTN. IMBECILE: The Mercury cretins now have a "mobile website," so you can feel "stupid" on the go. Visit it, and regret doing so immediately. mercmobile.com Blogs/Events/Movies Labor Day SALE 20%-40% Off Thursday through Sunday (Select in-stock items only) 1033 NW Couch www.rebeljeweler.com 503-224-4485 P4 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 Life Coaching with Andrew Dickson by Sarah Mirk Get Help Are you doing that? No. 20 12 + ANDREA LOPEZ A NDREW DICKSON isn't a licensed professional anything. But during TBA:12, the Portland artist will invite audience members onstage for a lengthy "life coaching" session--essentially bringing a therapy session off the private sofa and into the glaring public light. "The idea of having an audience is that this person is sort of a proxy for all of us," says Dickson. "This is not something to sit back and watch, this is something to participate with, to engage with." I met up with Dickson for a preview life coaching session on a rainy July morning. And lonely. Ha! I'm really worried about running out of money someday. I feel like there's this anvil hanging over me in terms of debt. Do you see any choices you could make to ensure that you don't wind up trapped? I could save money. Do you recognize that disconnect? Being worried about debt and then being like, "Why would I put money away?" Life Coach I think that's where a personal tension comes Mark Spencer Hotel from. I don't feel a lot of frustration with society Ballroom, Sat-Sun 1:30 & about money, I feel frustration with myself. I'm 3:30 pm, Sat Sept 8 worried about the future but am totally irresponsiSun Sept 16 ble right now about money. It is a critical disconnect. You should get a Magic 8 Ball that just says, "You're Eh, if you achieve both those goals, you're problying to yourself." ably in the top 10 percent. That seems crazy, though! We have so many opportunities right On all eight sides! "Let's see what it says: `Whup! You're now. I feel like I have the opportunity to do anything I want in the lying to yourself.'" Well, I thought we were going to talk world. I don't have to go work in my dad's factory or marry some about relationships, but it seems like there's a lot going man my mom wants me to. Why does it seem crazy to be like, on with this money thing. "Hey, I never want to be desperate for money or get divorced?" Well, I think they're related. I was raised to be very independent. I think the money stuff comes from that, because what I really prize Well, the odds are with divorce; you're at 50-50 right now. is independence. And in relationships, there's always a little bit of Taking a job for the money, that sounds like something distance between me and the other person, I'm always a little bit that's not pressing. ready to cut and run. No, but I think it taps into my worst fear of being old and poor and bitter. ANDREW DICKSON: I think the first question I'm going to ask whoever's onstage is: Why are you here? SARAH MIRK: My life goals right now are to never take a job for the money and to never get divorced. I'm working on seeing whether those things are overly optimistic. Those seem like a low bar, right? Andrew Dickson LORD BLAKELY Is that an element of wanting to protect yourself from getting hurt? I'm worried about wasting time. I'm always like, "I'm going to get old and die!" I'm worried about getting into a relationship for 30 years and then being like, "Gah!" We human beings are often prone to the dramatic. It's a lot more fun to say, "I wasted four years!" than, "Gosh, we had some good times, but I'm bummed that it didn't work out." Gob Squad Reworks Andy Warhol for the Facebook Era by Matt Stangel Pop Art B RITISH-GERMAN video and perfornothing much is happening in Kitchen, within mance collective Gob Squad formed that nothingness is something exemplary of its around an impulse to bring media into perfortime, and it's a "rare diamond" for that reason: mance and real life into art-to locate the point "They're forgetting their lines... they're off their at which the traditional relationships between tits on drugs... and they're making it up as they artists and audiences end, and a shared human go along and getting it wrong." experience begins. For Gob Squad's rendition, actors take the Since 1994, Gob Squad has serviced stage behind a screen onto which video its mission by storming host cities of the live action is projected. Memwith cameras pointed toward unbers of the collective play the Gob filtered human emotion (screenroles from the original film--and Squad ing the resultant footage a bits and pieces of other Warhol Gob Squad's mere hour later); performing flicks like Screen Test, Sleep, a game of gestures inspired Kitchen (You've Eat--but throughout the show, by David Foster Wallace's Inactors are replaced with audiNever Had It So Good) finite Jest on the court of an ence members who are fed Lincoln Hall at PSU, Thurs abandoned tennis stadium in a lines through a headset. Sept 13-Sat Sept 15, suburb of Berlin; and even conWhile the musical chairs 8:30 pm, $25-30 structing entirely round theaters that takes place between perto present seven-camera panoramic former and audience services Gob footage relating "one place of a city as a Squad's desire to establish untraditionmicrocosm of the entire world." al relationships with its audience, Thom says For TBA:12, Gob Squad is breaking out their it also renders the stage into simultaneous well-tested Gob Squad's Kitchen (You've Nevsocial, private, and public spaces, bringing to er Had It So Good). It's a re-creation of Andy light the increasingly fragile (and decreasingly Warhol's 1965 film Kitchen, the star vehicle authentic) roles occupied therein. Just like in written for cutie pie Edie Sedgwick, in which the mid-'60s urbanity of Warhol's Kitchen, a group of people with nothing to do stand nothing is really happening on our Facebook around in a kitchen and drag heels through wiry walls and Twitter feeds, but we still steep ourbotched dialogue and lavishly mundane improselves in them, passively clicking things, circuvisational conversation. It's an exercise in "nothlating the info of the day, fucking up our lines ing really happens." along the way. There's something beautiful Sarah Thom of Gob Squad says that while and wholly inconsequential about it. DAVID BALTZER August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P5 + A FEMALE FRIENDLY SEX TOY BOUTIQUE SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM 909 N BEECH STREET, HISTORIC MISSISSIPPI DISTRICT 503-473-8018 SUNDAY-THURSDAY 11�7, FRIDAY�SATURDAY 11�8 Strap On Play, Thurs, Aug. 30, 7:30 - $20 Writing & Publishing Erotica, Mon, Sept. 10, 7:30 - $20 Exploring Burlesque, Wed, Sept. 19, 7:30 - $15 The Sex Diaries Project - A workshop & fundraiser for Bitch Media, Thurs, Oct 4 - 7:30-$25 space is limited. please reserve online! congratulations tBa! [from one ten-year-old to another] 10 Please join newsPace in celeBrating our own 10 year anniversary october 5, 2012 6-9pm 1632 Southeast 10th Avenue, Portland, OR 503.963.1935 newspacephoto.org P6 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 Totally Terrifying Women A Glut of Actually Scary Females from Cinema by Courtney Ferguson EMBARRASSING MAYBE, artsy definitely, but I'm sorry, dancing around while lip-syncing is not scary. A host of Portland filmmakers, dancers, and performance artists (including Alicia McDaid, Tanya Smith, and Wendy Haynes) star in a program at the Works titled Terrifying Women, which might feature more than a little lip-syncing-- curator Justen Harn describes it as "Vagina Monologues on nitrous oxide wearing strap-on penises." But I want violence, domineering personalities, and disturbing pre-teen rage in my evening of hair-raising females. So in the spirit of the Time-Based Art Fest, let's shine a speculum light on the esoteric nooks of cinema's ladyparts-having humans for a brief list* of truly terrifying women. Vera Cosgrove, Dead Alive (1992) Long before director Peter Jackson explored the special love between two Hobbits, he pursued zestier relationships in the bloodtastic Dead Alive. Vera Cosgrove, an inhumanly overbearing mother, takes parental love to grotesque new levels when--after being zombified by a Sumatran rat-monkey bite--she stuffs her meek son back into her putrefied womb. Mrs. Bates has got nothing on the dog-eating Vera. Aughra, The Dark Crystal (1982) Never mind the stanky hippie Gelflings or the unholy shell-stripping Skeksis monsters in The Dark Crystal, Aughra used to scare the pee out of my peehole. She's like the nightmare baby from an orgy with Miss Piggy, a ram, and Yoda. And don't even get me started on the way she pops out her one eyeball like a pair of ocular dentures. Yuck! Madame Medusa, The Rescuers (1977) Trashy redhead Madame Medusa is a jet-ski-exhaust-polluting, orphan-stealing, alligator-wielding harpy--with none of the redeeming fashion sense of either Annie's Miss Hannigan or 101 Dalmatians' Cruella de Vil. The way she turns a gun on pigtailed orphan Penny and shoves her down a dank hole in search of a sparkly diamond is pretty damned coldhearted. I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark bayou. Rhoda Penmark, The Bad Seed (1956) Speaking of pigtailed tykes... Rhoda Penmark from The Bad Seed reinforces every instinct I've ever had to permanently seal up my uterus. Ten times creepier than the blonde Poltergeist tot, the clever sociopath Rhoda is willing to kill lots of meddlesome folks to get shiny trinkets. Like shoes. She will totally set your house on fire for a pair of Mary Janes. "GIVE ME MY SHOES!" Jaws, Jaws (1975) Okay, I'm about to blow your mind... Jaws was a lady! I'm sure you're thinking, "No way, brah! That scary he-beast thought skinnydipping chicks were sexy, so he ate them." Well, right you are about the shark's snacking proclivities, but I submit for the court's consideration: female great whites are bigger than males, and Jaws was huuuu-ge! And terrifying! Unlike that yuppie mommy shark who took her baby spawn on vacation to SeaWorld in Jaws 3. * For sure, it's a non-comprehensive list that blatantly ignores pop culture's most obvious demon women--the ones who boil bunnies, wield clothes hangers, and masturbate with crucifixes. Bringing Up Bucky + Sam Green and Yo La Tengo Collaborate on The Love Song of R. Buckminster Fuller by Matt Stangel 20 12 and Stanford's archives, Green sent short film clips of Fuller to HEN ACADEMY AWARD-nominated documenexperimental and indie music pioneers Yo La Tengo, along with tarian and experimental filmmaker Sam Green (The scratch audio culled from the band's preexisting recordings. Weather Underground, Utopia in Four Movements) accepted After several meetings between Yo La Tengo and Green, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art's commission to create score--to be performed live behind an assemblage of clips, still a live documentary about the life of R. Buckminster Fuller, he images, and Green's narration--was completed. inherited an aspect of his subject's legacy. Yo La Tengo songwriter, singer, and guitarist Ira Kaplan says Much of Fuller's story and impact survives in the public he knew "very little" about Fuller before taking on the project. mind by way of the Buckyball and geodesic dome. The doNow he sees him as a figure who personifies an optiit-all inventor/architect/writer/social theorist operated mism lost. Kaplan references a recent Daily Show under self-generated "Dymaxion" principles--the interview that centered on the idea that humanterm combines "dynamic" and "maximum," plus Sam ity is destroying itself with technology--a belief the action-implying suffix "-ion"--the foundaGreen & Fuller spent his life protesting. tion for which is that all humanity could live Yo La Tengo "I saw that there was nothing to stop me comfortably, but only if organized to a state from thinking about our total planet Earth of techno-terra harmony. The Love Song of R. and thinking realistically about how to operBut the aspect of Fuller's legacy mirBuckminster Fuller ate it on an enduringly sustainable basis as rored by Green's The Love Song dates to Washington High School, the magnificent human-passengered spacethe beginning of Bucky's career, when he Wed Sept 12, 6:30 & ship that it is," writes Fuller in his final manuwas a Harvard dropout living in New York 8:30 pm, $20-25 script, Guinea Pig B. City and writing a book about Albert Einstein's "I am also a living case history of a thoroughly discovery of the theory of special relativity. Just documented, half-century, search-and-research projas Fuller immersed himself in Einstein's personal paect designed to discover what, if anything, an unknown, monpers, teasing out the connection between lifestyle and aceyless individual, with a dependent wife and newborn child, complishment, so Green worked from details of Fuller's life might be able to do effectively on behalf of all humanity that found in what is considered to be the polymathic genius' could not be accomplished by great nations, great religions, or greatest project, the Dymaxion Chronofile. private enterprise, no matter how rich or powerfully armed," he Archived at Stanford University, the Dymaxion Chronofile writes in the same text. consists of "every paper that passed over [Fuller's] desk," exHad we followed Fuller's plan for the world, things could've plains Green. It is speculated to be the most complete history wound up looking an awful lot like a future-Stalinist monoscape of a single person's life, containing updates made every 15 of pod houses and cities in the clouds--rad or not, you decide-- minutes from 1920 through 1983. but the temperature might not be as high as it is today. After spending some time with the Dymaxion Chronofile W Terrifying Women curated by Justen Harn Washington High School, Tues Sept 11, 10:30 pm, $5-7 DENNIS MAGNUM August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P7 + 30 Y E A R S A R T I S T S R E P E R TO RY T H E AT R E INTIMATE. PROVOCATIVE. PREMIERES. R S A RY ! A N N I V ES UNDER $ 100 SUBSCRIPTION IT'S OUR 30 TH first show of the season: Written b y Aaron Posner Kurt Vonnegut Directed by Aaron Posner a r t i s t s re p.org 503. 24 1 .1 278 Adapted f r o m SEPT 4 - OCT 7 WORLD PREMIERE QUIRKY LOVE STORY SEASON SPONSOR: RONNI LACROUTE visit our studio shop for the latest of our portland-made bags, wallets, textiles, and housewares! queen bee creations 3961 n williams portland, or www.queenbee-creations.com P8 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 20 12 + The Thing of It All Refocusing TBA's Visual Art Programming with End Things by Matt Stangel teract with them. OME OF THE WORK that I was doTo help us along: a touchable installation ing with artists that I really believed of movable sculpture from Erika Vogt; sound in was getting lost in the bustle and the mapresented as object by Claudia Meza; things nia of the festival," explains PICA Visual Art diffused over transmuted form (stills from Curator Kristan Kennedy of her curatorial films about objects, translated to wall paintrole in TBA over the years. "I really wanted ings) by Paris-based Isabelle Cornaro; a to make a focused exhibition of only the artweek-long object-based storytelling session ists that are speaking to each other about from writer and artist Alex Cecchetti; "pasthis concept of `end things.' " tel environments," sculptures on beanbag Kennedy is right. Digesting TBA's visual chairs, and a fountain made from Oregon art programming has been a daunting task in clay by Mo Ritter; and Dutch collective van past years. Navigating the work can feel like a Brummelen & de Haan's 16mm film centercomically heady StumbleUpon session: Each ing around the inaccessibility of a particular project requires detailed research and discusTurkish frieze due to its potential to spark sion and weeks of thinking and considering and political upheaval. catching up on an artist's conceptual footing Each project, while as particular to itself as and double-checking the execution and then anything from past TBAs, has the added benefit more thinking and thinking and thinking--all the of sharing conceptual train tracks with fellow while, each project's corresponding schema End Things contributions. Check our TBA blog of research rests in its own little compartment, (portlandmercury.com/tba) for expanded details sealed off from the other shows and steeping in on End Things projects and a one-billion-word its own expansive ecosystem of meaning. It's a interview with Kristan Kennedy that will fill you lot to ask and expect of audiences, and frankly, in on everything you ever wanted to know about an example of the well-intentioned art snake bitTBA:12. ing its own tail. End Things is designed to defang the overload of past festivals--the exhibition uses only six of PICA's 12 visual art budgetary allotEnd ments for the year. (The remaining six will Things be presented throughout the year in a slower, more focused fashion, cenAlex Cecchetti, Mo Ritter, tering around PICA's new downvan Brummelen & de Haan, town office/event space.) Kenand Erika Vogt nedy says the idea of animation-- Washington High School, "things" in and out of motion, and Thurs Sept 6-Sat Sept 29 the ways we understand them-- Claudia Meza tie the six projects that make up White Box at the U of O, End Things together. Sat Sept 1-Sat Sept 22 She explains that the idea was born out of conversations with Isabelle Cornaro TBA:10 artist Storm Tharp: converand Mo Ritter sations about things (art things, spePICA, Fri Sept 7 cifically), why we keep them around, what Sat Sept 29 they mean, and how they never stand still physically, conceptually, or even semiotically. Also contributing to the idea of End Things were talks with TBA:11 artist Anne Marie Oliver about animation. "Greco-Roman sculpture, with all their flowing robes, was proto-animation--all that was to show movement," says Kennedy, "and now we're in this sort of hyper-animation state of the world. [Oliver] paraphrased some famous philosophers in saying that if something is moving it can't be understood, and [in relation to movement] I started to think about the idea of thingness." So how do we understand objects, let alone art, in a world of ever-quickening things, disposable things, things we don't care about that are designed to profit off of that exact emotional disconnect? For starters, we must get reacquainted with our things--and the vast internets of potential inside each--if we're to know how to better in- Claudia Meza "S Mo Ritter Isabelle Cornaro August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P9 + Portland Lesbian & Gay Film Festival SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 6, 2012 BECOME A STUDENT OF AMMA BODYWORK THERAPY PROGRAM - OCT. 2012 WHOLISTIC NUTRITION PROGRAM - JAN. 2013 NEW LOCATION + NEW PROGRAMS AND CLASSES PROFESSIONAL LEVEL COMMUNITY CLASSES the wellspring. INTRO TO WHOLISTIC NUTRITION, TAI CHI, MEDITATION & QIGONG ALL BEGINNING THIS SEPT. 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With the portable cassette player, Onda composes and performs his "sound diary," a series of field recordings he's compiled over the last several decades. I'm trying to tease out the whys. Why a walkman? Why field recordings? Why eschew traditional instruments in the first place? My hope is that if I underVoices stand Onda's work and creative philosophies, and I'll better understand his TBA:12 curatorial outing, Voices and Echoes, a night of experimenEchoes tal Japanese music and spoken word. curated by Aki Onda "The reason I picked up a cassette walkman sive elements. (In other words, it's a lot of tapLincoln Hall at PSU, is just by chance," says Onda. In the '80s he ping and bouncing and vibrating that interacts Sun Sept 16, 5 pm, was living in London and working in the music with the performer's surroundings.) $15-20 industry as a photographer when he broke his Where Suzuki recasts function by using rooms camera and couldn't find a replacement. "Instead, I as instruments, Gozo Yoshimasu toys with the musicjust bought the cassette walkman." ality of vocalization, performing spoken-word pieces in a He's kept it with him now for 20 years, taking sonic snaplanguage that resembles Japanese but communicates meaning shots in places like Morocco, Japan, and the United States. only through inflection and emotive intonation (with occasional The resulting songs arrive like diary pages held to sunlight--waoutings into other languages). In a ritualistic setting inspired by ter atop water atop water, room inside room, environment over time spent with itako mediums, Yoshimasu will perform alongside environment, folding his experience of the world onto itself like experimental turntablist and guitar player Otomo Yoshihide, who abstract, tacitly narrative origami. works to bridge noise and jazz music. At TBA:12, Onda has curated an evening with three of his While the three individuals performing are relatively unknown Japanese peers. Akio Suzuki plays rooms, generating sounds to US audiences, they're major players in Japan's experimental with homemade and rare or uncommon instruments. The natuliterature and music scenes, and Voices and Echoes looks to ral echoes of a given performance environment are manipulated be a must-see for anyone who's into the more abrasive, meditathrough a keen ear and the application of predominantly percustive, and exploratory aspects of sound. TBA or Not + 20 12 TBA? Can You Spot the Real TBA Events? by Erik Henriksen 1. "A `chorus' of video interviews conducted with local residents, The People--Portland loosely retells the Greek tragic cycle of the Oresteia." 2. 3. "With TXTmessage, communications consultant and Wired contributor Liam Young will catalog each SMS and MMS message sent within the Works at Washington High School. Using four large LCD screens, Young will then display the messages, alongside the names of their senders." Democracy on the Big Screen Big Art Group Brings The People to Portland by Noah Dunham HAT WE'RE MAKING is not just a live event or live television, but living television," explains Jemma Nelson, co-founder of the New York City-based performance company Big Art Group. Nelson and Artistic Director/ Co-Founder Caden Manson are walking me through the ideas behind their grandscale, community-oriented project The People--Portland. It is the fifth time the "For two months, Thu Tran held nearly everything she ate under a blacklight and recorded the results on a single piece of paper. In a bizarre take on the classic cooking show, Tran illustrates her findings with images from the internet, a live video feed of different foods changing colors under a blacklight, and a blacklight cooking demonstration." "`Artstigator' Grady Deshant has performed in Boston, Chicago, Sydney, and London. His latest work, the video monologue The Insomniac's Nightmare, examines the casual and causal links between popular entertainments like Modern Family and recent mass shootings." 4. 5. Big Art Group The People-- Portland Washington High School, Thurs Sept 6-Sat Sept 8, 8:30 pm, $15-20 "In Cacophony Cantos, Austin theatre collective Gener8 randomly selects three audience members as co-collaborators. Half poetry performance and half discussion, the evening will be focused on the ever-shifting power dynamics of the artist/audience dynamic." "Miniature raconteur Laura Heit performs some of the smallest puppet shows around." "W group will be putting together an iteration of The People series they started in 2007, a project they customize for each community they work with. The show is described by the duo as a mash-up of live theater, real-time footage, and footage from interviews of Portlanders that the Big Art Group and PICA conducted in May. The Portland interviewees were asked to describe their perspectives CADEN MANSON 1. Real! That's IFC's Portlandi--no, wait, sorry. The People--Portland performed by Big Art Group. 2. Fake. :( 3. Deliciously real! The Yes and No of Blacklight Food by Thu Tran. 4. Fake. But we hear Mike Daisey's working on something similar. 5. Fake. 6. Real! Miniature Dramas by Laura Heit and David Commander. 7. Holy shit, this is totally fake. 8. Holy shit, this is totally real! 9. Fake. But we hear Rutger Hauer's working on something similar. on concepts such as community, justice, terrorism, and democracy. "Democracy" is a term that both Manson and Nelson reference a great deal during our conversation, thanks to The People's source material: Aeschylus' three-part tragedy the Oresteia, which culminates with a public trial of its main character, Orestes. "It's often considered not just a theatrical document, but a founding document in the Western canon," Nelson says of the Oresteia. "It has these things to say about justice and community and democracy, in an ancient way, and we wanted to play with that and think about how that could be relevant to contemporary times" Like the ending of the Orestia, The People--Portland will be performed in a public setting, with actors from Big Art Group's company, local participants, and the Portland interviewees taking part in the spectacle. The end result is something that Manson and Nelson hope will be a sort of "social sculpture," in which ownership of the piece resonates with the public as well as with the artists behind the process. But given how opinionated Portland's population is, one wonders if resonance or dissonance will be most felt in the end. "Play: The Play makes TBA accessible for even the youngest festivalgoers. For two hours, parents are encouraged to bring their children to Imago Theatre, where childcare will be provided and webcams will broadcast their children's actions to anyone with an internet connection. Accompanied by a live, improvised score by Parenthetical Girls, Play recontextualizes the subconscious art of children's play into the framework of a theatrical production." "CHRISTEENE is a shameless and sexually infused sewer of live rap and RnB, whose message challenges gender, capitalism, corporate mendacity, complacency, and false celebrity while shattering the American obsession with charm and grace." "Boasting an original score by the Postal Service's Jimmy Tamborello, Seattle poet and choreographer Steph Annie's Tears in the Rain deconstructs Pacific Northwest's weather patterns and their effects on the individual and regional psyche." 6. 7. 8. 9. ANSWERS: August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P11 + We offer a sliding scale for super affordable healthcare Just Around The Corner From The Main TBA Performance Area Monday-Saturday 4pm-2pm � Sunday 5pm-Midnight Rum Club Washington High School 720 SE Sandy Blvd 503.467.2469 rumclubpdx.com P12 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 20 12 + solutions, which are more practical--and in a sense more LAIRE L. EVANS will be bringing her performative dystopian--concepts for the quantification and managelecture Restore from Backup, an examination of onment of the heart online. line relationships, to this year's TBA. Evans is a writer, artist, and musician (she's one half of YACHT) whose work You maintain a great blog, Space Canon (urbanoften focuses on the role of technology in society. We've honking.com/spacecanon), all about sciaccompanied the interview with our own proposence fiction. What trends would you like als for some virtual tools that would make onto see more of in contemporary sci-fi? line relationships a little easier to navigate. Claire The future doesn't look as monolithic L. Evans as it used to: in a world of subjective MERCURY: Do you think you're and endless connectivity, everyone more sentimental as a result of Restore from will live their own versions of the fusocial media? ture, individually marketed and tailored CLAIRE L. EVANS: It's increasingly Backup to their whims. I think science fiction difficult to be impulsively sentimental or PICA, Thurs Sept 13, has yet to adequately speak to this. Alemotional on the web. When you lose 12:30 pm, free though there's a lot of great work being a friend, or end a romantic relationship, done, I don't think we've got our Orwell of you're not just "hiding" those individuals from Facebook yet. your "timeline." Those are cataclysms of the heart. Your presentation is "design fiction" that suggests some ideas for how to measure and understand our online relationships. Could you share some ideas that might not have made the final cut? In its original draft, the presentation focused on the idea of forming a physical object from the vast amount of bits that make up a discarded online relationship. I had imagined the wealthy, lonely people of the future strolling through vast mausoleums of ex-friends, speculated about holding the sum total of a failed love in your hands. But I don't think we'll ever interface with data in such a tactile way. Now, the presentation focuses on emotional bandwidth Online Rela tionship Management Claire L. Evans and the Digital Heart by Dylan Meconis C Crackpot Cookery Thu Tran's 420-Inspired The Yes and No of Blacklight Food by Jenna Lechner T me. "T2" stands for Thanksgiving 2, typically held HU TRAN made a name for herself as host a week or two after Thanksgiving. It's a friends of the delightfully crackpot cooking show Thanksgiving dinner party; just friends and Food Party. The TV show--which ran on IFC weed, and people either bring leftovers from 2009-2010--chiefly stars handmade from their family's Thanksgivings, or puppets, and is emblematic of Tran's Thu prepare something that wouldn't work: experimental, silly, and rife with typically fly at the family dinner Tran what-the-fuck moments. Trailing its table (weed Cool Ranch Dorito success, the Brooklyn-based artist The Yes and No of cornbread). One year, my roomhas worked on various collaboraBlacklight Food mates and I decided to make the tive projects (including doing stage Washington High School, theme "black light," and a trippy props for Girl Talk's live show). Fri Sept 14, 10:30 dinner party ensued. I caught up with Tran to discuss pm, $5-7 The Yes and No of Blacklight Food, What kind of Google searches did her piece for TBA. Our conversation you run for the piece? dropped us into the abyss of Google Image Sometimes I won't know what something is Search and 420-friendly dinner parties. called, so I start with a blunt description, like "blood mushroom." I roll over my favorite images, MERCURY: What will we see at your TBA and see what the JPEGs are labeled, looking for performance? names, nicknames, Latin names, and search for THU TRAN: I will be giving a slide lecture on blackthose. I find names like "bleeding tooth fungi" and light-reactive food. The data I've compiled is based "Hydnellum peckii." Search for those, jackpot. It's on personal experience. The photos are carefully very easy to tangent from here. "Bleeding tooth," curated from Google Image searches. I will also be "mouth injuries" (no!). The surf can go on for giving a few black-light-related cooking demos for hours, but it always somehow winds up in a dark stage. Because cooking is an intimate activity, we lonely place, "Lindsay Lohan 2012," "Bieber leg will get up close and personal with a live video feed tattoo," or "Lohanthony GIFs." from my webcam. Matt Fitzpatrick, who composes music for most of my videos, will be onsite to proDo you have any eatery plans for when you vide live scoring. arrive in Portland? I love the food cart and doughnut scene in PortA lot of your work involves collaboration; did land. I will definitely indulge in the big chocolate collaboration play into this piece? dong doughnut and the gay Froot Loops doughnut The idea itself spawned from a dinner party called from Voodoo. "Blacklight T2" hosted by my old roommates and JOSEF KRASKA August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P13 + HUSTLE --&-- BUSTLE ILLUSTRATION BY: VANISHING TRIBE - BOOTH #417 PORTLAND SATURDAY MARKET PRESENTS CHARITY FASHION & MUSIC EVENT featuring artists from www.PortlandSaturdayMarket.com THURSDAY SEPT. 20, 2012 8-9 PM - Mingle 9-10 PM - Fashion Show 10-1 AM - Music & DJs MUSIC BY GlobalRuckus � Mr. Wu � Icarus BOSSANOVA BALLROOM 722 East Burnside St. Portland, OR BUY TICKETS - $15 pre-sale /$20 door www.bossanovaballroom.com BENEFICIARY Portland Old Town Arts & Cultural Foundation P14 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 20 12 + listings Performance Big Art Group, The People--Portland See Democracy On the Big Screen on pg. 11 for more info. Washington High School, Thurs Sept 6-Sat Sept 8, 8:30, $15-20 Ant Hampton and Tim Etchells, The Quiet Volume The silence of a library is a very particular thing: No one is talking, but everyone is thinking, reading, and turning pages. (Unless you're at the Central Library... then, possibly, someone is shouting about how it's their turn to use the internet.) Libraries are unique spaces, public but focused, and performance artists Tim Etchells and Ant Hampton take advantage of that peculiarity in their introspective piece The Quiet Volume, which invites two audience members at a time to don headsets and follow whispered cues that lead them through the library's stacks. ALISON HALLETT Multnomah County Central Library, Thurs Sept 6-Sun Sept 16 (no Mon Sept 10 show), see pica.org for showtimes, $8-10 Miguel Gutierrez, Heavens What Have I Done New York choreographer Miguel Gutierrez mashes up the disciplines of dance, humor, drama, and vocalization in his epic, ramblingly original pieces: a smidgen of good-natured hipster irony sneaks in now and again, or perhaps a dash of impropriety when he appears in his underwear and/or high heels. With an emotional terrain that spans the minutia of relationship feelings to the state of an unjust world, Gutierrez is, literally, all over the place. In Heavens What Have I Done he dons the rainbows and makeup of a clown for a solo monologue and dance that deals with the theatrical process, travel, injustice, teaching, and his own personal hopes and dreams-- so, all of life, essentially. As per usual. MARJORIE SKINNER Washington High School, Fri Sept 7-Sun Sept 9, 6:30 pm, $15-20 Lagartijas Tiradas al Sol, El Rumor del Incendio (The Sound of Fire) See Digging Up the Present on pg. 3 for more info. Winningstad Theatre at PCPA, Fri Sept 7-Sun Sept 9, 6:30 pm, $20-25 Nora Chipaumire, Miriam See African Dance on pg. 3 for more info. Lincoln Hall at PSU, Fri Sept 7-Sat Sept 8, 8:30 pm, $20-25 Andrew Dickson, Life Coach See Get Help on pg. 5 for more info. Mark Spencer Hotel Ballroom, Sat-Sun 1:30 & 3:30 pm, Sat Sept 8-Sun Sept 16 Kota Yamazaki/Fluid Hug-Hug, (glowing) It's a dancing Benetton ad! (I hope that reference isn't extinct.) Six black-andwhite-clad dancers from Japan, the United States, Ethiopia, and Senegal fluidly cavort amid shadows and chiaroscuro lighting in choreographer Kota Yamazaki's (glowing). It's a lovely dance, filled with synchronization, individual performances, and some graceful arm and leg flailing. With eerie music as the backdrop, it's easy to overlook how seamlessly the dancers rise onto their toes, hovering and swaying like Lisa Marie's alien gal in Mars Attacks! (How 'bout that reference?) COURTNEY FERGUSON Lincoln Hall at PSU, Sun Sept 9, 8:30 pm, $20-25 Lagartijas Tiradas al Sol, Asalto al Agua Transparente (The Assault on Clear Waters) See Digging Up the Present on pg. 3 for more info. BodyVox, Mon Sept 10, 8:30 pm, Tues Sept 11-Wed Sept 12, 6:30 pm, $20-25 Perforations, curated by Zvonimir Dobrovic There's a lot more to the Balkans than... well, all the terrible shit that usually comes to mind when someone says "Serbia." In one of the most intriguing international showcases on the TBA schedule this year, Zvonimir Dobrovic-- founder of Central and Eastern Europe's largest performance festival--curates a night with three Serbian and Croatian artists, who will present site-specific music and performance that speaks to politics, national identity, and whatever else artists from the Balkans are worrying about these days. AH Washington High School, Mon Sept 10-Tues Sept 11, 8:30 pm, $15-20 Keith Hennessy/Circo Zero, Turbulence Turbulence is a dance about the economy. Therefore, it is scary and strange. Choreographed by Keith Hennessy and performed by currentevents-centric troupe Circo Zero, the "collaborative failure" includes roughly a dozen dancers who stretch, writhe, and fall like the dollar. At moments in the piece, the dancers' faces are wrapped in gold-sequin fabric that hangs like glittering detainee bag-masks. Together, the dancers form human pyramids and body piles and roil in clumps like hell-bound figures from "The Garden of Earthly Delights." While the group created the piece before Occupy started, its message will surely still hit home. SARAH MIRK Imago Theatre, Tues Sept 11-Fri Sept 14 8:30 pm, $20-25 Sam Green and Yo La Tengo, The Love Song of R. Buckminster Fuller See Bringing Up Bucky on pg. 7 for more info. Washington High School, Wed Sept 12, 6:30 & 8:30 pm, $20-25 Faustin Linyekula/Studios Kabako, Le Cargo Faustin Linyekula will be onstage all alone, surrounded by a circle of spotlights. You will watch the ropy muscles of his arms, the giant muscles of his thighs, as the language of his movements guides you through the country You don't need to carry this flammable piece of newspaper around with you through all of TBA. Go to portlandmercury.com/tba for the freshest news and TBA event calendar. PHONE! YOUR USE Laura Heit and David Commander, Miniature Dramas There's an obvious and enjoyable tension at Gob Squad, Gob Squad's Kitchen work in the clever (and funny) miniature (You've Never Had It So Good) puppet shows put on by Laura Heit See Pop Art on pg. 5 for more info. Linand David Commander. Each puppecoln Hall at PSU, Thurs Sept 13-Sat teer looms over the little pieces they Sept 15, 8:30 pm, $25-30 manipulate, presumably commandArlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway ing the audience's attention. But, Chelfitsch, Hot Pepper, Air then, at the same time, a projecBodyVox, 1201 NW 17th Conditioner, and the Faretion screen emblazoned with a Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th well Speech massive close-up of all the tiny Chelfitsch, one of Japan's most action looms over them, so it's Lincoln Hall at PSU, 1620 SW Park acclaimed theater companies-- kind of a draw. Heit tells punchily Mark Spencer Hotel Ballroom, 409 SW 11th helmed by writer/director Toshiki poignant stories with her elaboMultnomah County Central Library, 801 SW 10th Okada--brings a piece with three rately detailed matchbox-size interconnected vignettes about setpieces. Commander's main PICA, 415 SW 10th, Suite 300 what it's like to be a twentysomepiece, In Flight, is a tart sendup Washington High School, 531 SE 14th thing office drone in Japan. These of a comfortably numb consumerist Water Avenue Project Lot, SE Morrison & Water highly choreographed scenes marry society, set on a crashing airplane. humor, movement, and music, like a Avid readers of SkyMall magazine will White Box at the U of O, 24 NW 1st sort of avant-garde Office Space. (No fax totally be in on the joke. DENIS C. THEWinningstad Theatre at PCPA, machines will be harmed.) AH Washington RIAULT Washington High School, Sun 1111 SW Broadway High School, Fri Sept 14-Sat Sept 15, 6:30 Sept 9, 10:30 pm, $5-7 pm, $20-25 Brainstorm/Sahelsounds, Global and Mobile Pop Claudia Meza, Listening to Space: Sonic City PDX The TBA program notes that Christopher Kirkley is a "self-deClaudia Meza has a history with PICA. Her former band Explode into Colors scribed amateur ethnomusicologist and gentleman explorer of the South African performed at 2009's TBA, and Meza curated the ongoing New Musics series. Sahel," which... damn. If it's that easy, allow me to self-describe as a "master orThis year, she's created an art tour based entirely on the properties of natural gasmologist and gentleman assassin of the Delta Quadrant." And since I have a sound. Her Listening to Space: Sonic City PDX program functions as an autitle like that, you can trust me when I say that Global and Mobile Pop--presented dio tour of Portland, with Meza asking more than 30 musicians and artists to by Kirkley, under the label Sahelsounds, along with Portland art-pop band Brainpick locations entirely for their ambient sonic possibilities. Freeway overpasses, storm--sounds like a giddy evening of A/V overload. There'll be music, remixed open spaces, and the city's buildings are all part of what you might YouTubes, "live cell phone feeds" (FROM WHERE?!), and Skyped concerts find on the tour, which runs throughout TBA and is guided by from Africa, with everything concentrated into a show that conveys the "vast QR codes and online maps. The tour concludes with an outweirdness of the internet era." ERIK HENRIKSEN: MO&GAOTDQ side live concert from members of AU, Golden Retriever, Washington High School, Mon Sept 10, 10:30 pm, $5-7 and more, including Meza herself. NED LANNAMANN Various locations, Thurs Sept 6-Sun Sept 16, free, Future Cinema: Terrifying Women, Weston Currie and Liz soniccitypdx.tumblr.com; concert at Water Avenue Harris, and B-Movie Bingo Project Lot, Sat Sept 15, 4:30 pm, free Make way for the terrifying women. The scary ladies of Terrifying Women, a where he was born and still lives, the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Linyekula runs a dance studio in the city of Kisangani, which since his birth has seen two wars and decades of shaky government. That brutal history, along with the country's rich culture of music and dance, will be channeled for an hour into Linyekula's tiny circle of light. SM Winningstad Theatre at PCPA, Thurs Sept 13Sat Sept 15 6:30 pm, $20-25 constraint: The short works must be performed entirely on a miniscule four-byfour-foot stage placed in the middle of the theater. The quick, diverse, back-toback dances can strike like a lightning bolt or come and go like an easy laugh. SM Washington High School, Sat Sept 8, 10:30 pm, $10-15 LOCATIONS Voices and Echoes curated by Aki Onda See Other Voices, Other Rooms on pg. 9 for more info. Lincoln Hall at PSU, Sun Sept 16, 5 pm, $15-20 Laurie Anderson, Dirtday! Laurie Anderson sets a high bar for performance artists: At age 65, her work continues to engage meaningfully with the world around her. Anderson's 40-year career encompasses chart-topping pop hits (1981's "O Superman"), collaborations with the likes of William S. Burroughs and Lou Reed (and Peter Gabriel!), and even the invention of her own musical instruments. A returning TBA artist, this year Anderson performs Dirtday!, which combines music and storytelling to create a narrative that engages with contemporary political discourse, including the politics of the Occupy movement. AH Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, Sun Sept 16, 7:30 pm, $15-75 End Things See The Thing of It All on pg. 9 for more info on the visual art programming. film and dance program, include past and present Portlanders Alicia McDaid, Tanya Smith, Woolly Mammoth Comes to Dinner's Kathleen Keogh, and more. While not necessarily terrifying, some of their past pieces have seen bewigged anthropological studies, amusing cable access parodies, and colorful dance pieces. "Vagina Monologues on nitrous oxide wearing strap-on penises." Next up is Portland filmmaker Weston Currie, who's screening a new film with a live soundtrack from Grouper's Liz Harris. Currie and Harris make for a powerful and spooky team--for proof, see their Sundance-approved The Perception of Moving Targets. Ending the evening on a manic high note, you can play B-Movie Bingo to the "Butthorn!"-screaming antics of everyone's beloved wall-eyed nutjob, Gary Busey, who stars as loose cannon Frank "Butthorn" McBain in 1988's Bulletproof. CF Washington High School, Tues Sept 11, 10:30 pm, $5-7 Parenthetical Girls Anyone who's seen Parenthetical Girls--the art-pop troupe of former Mercury Music Editor Zac Pennington--knows they're no strangers to over-the-top drama. And while the PGs have been doing their finest work yet with the Privilege EP series and an absolutely outstanding live show, tonight offers a look back at their Parenthetical past. Members of the band's previous incarnations also perform tonight--musical guests include Golden Retriever, Classical Revolution PDX, and Jherek Bischoff--and choreographer Allie Hankins presents a dance performance. Knowing what the band is capable of doing in a shitty, barebones club, this is going to be colossal, and very possibly insane. NL Washington High School, Wed Sept 12, 10:30 pm, $5-7 Alexis Blair Penney A cross between Boy George, Annie Lennox, and Quentin Crisp, Alexis Blair Penney's gorgeous vocals set him apart from your average lip-syncing drag artist. Perhaps best known for his 2011 heart-breaking club banger "Lonely Sea," Alexis is also a well regarded writer, DJ, and personality in the NYC and Bay Area scenes, as well as a provider of vocal backing for such noteworthy bands as the Miracles Club, Hunx and his Punx, and more--though his TBA performance promises something even more dramatic. Performing a live "TV special," Penney will sing a gut-punching litany of emotionally tinged classics along with songs from his upcoming album--interspersed, of course, with dark humor, snappity-snap monologues, and hot diva goodness. WSH Washington High School, Thurs Sept 13, 10:30 pm, $5-7 Thu Tran, The Yes and No of Blacklight Food See Crackpot Cookery on pg. 13 for more info. Washington High School, Fri Sept 14, 10:30 pm, $5-7 Fade to Mind The LA-based Fade to Mind DJ conglomerate (and record label) traffics in clattering rhythms and off-kilter chirps, all anchored by gut-punching lows and sonic booms. They've taken the harsh, electronic timbres of grime and house and recast them into a challenging and disorienting club sound, which they stitch in and out of more familiar, ear-pleasing R&B. You'll certainly be able to dance to it, but you're not gonna end up in the same place you started. NL Washington High School, Sat Sept 15, 10:30 pm, $5-7 Claire L. Evans, Restore from Backup See Online Relationship Management on pg. 13 for more info. PICA, Thurs Sept 13, 12:30 pm, free The Works Venus X One of NYC's most sought-after DJs, Venus X (Jazmin Venus Soto) creates an intelligent storm of sound on her turntables. Mixing an insane m�lange of musical styles--including such disparate genres as Dominican dembow, underground rap, and Turkish techno that's cut and mixed with spoken samples--Venus X practically brings her sweaty, demographically diverse crowds to an ecstatic riot. She was the hit of New York Fashion Week, and her regular GHE20GOTH1K dance nights have reportedly brought new life and energy to a flagging NYC nightlife. But most of all, she's bringing a new, thoughtful narrative to the art of DJing. If you believe your ass is connected to your brain, don't miss Venus X--she'll shake it all. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY Washington High School, Thurs Sept 6, 10:30 pm, free Christeene Called "the filthy future of drag," a "drag terrorist," and a "sexually infused sewer of live rap," queer performance artist Christeene (Paul Soileau) takes rapping to a new... I was going to say "level," but let's go with "alternate universe." Dressed in a filthy wig, and sporting broken teeth and a penis barely disguised by nude pantyhose, Christeene writes and performs incontrovertibly grotesque Dirty South-style raps such as "Fix My Dick," "African Mayonnaise," and the subtly titled "Tears from My Pussy." And as dirty (and catchy!) as her songs may be, expect even more hilariously filthy onstage shenanigans. (Eating pudding out of a backup dancer's butt is not unheard of.) You'll be pleased to note that beneath the nymphomaniacal persona, there beats the heart of a sweet and canny performer. Fri Sept 7, 10:30 pm, $5-7 10 Tiny Dances Some of the work at TBA is hard to watch. Ten Tiny Dances is the opposite. It's a thrill and a joy and a downright good time, an always-lively series of 10 new dances by 10 different artists that's become a must-see audience favorite since the series debuted in 2002. The fun of 10 Tiny Dances comes from its August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide P15 + Time means nothing in a float tank. A float tank is essentially the perfect bath tub. They vary in size, but the typical tank is 8 feet long and 4 feet wide. It holds about a foot of water, which is saturated with 850 pounds of Epsom salt. This creates a solution more buoyant than the Dead Sea, and you float on your back about half in and half out of the water. Air is allowed to freely flow in and out, and the door never locks or latches. The water itself is kept at the average skin temperature of 93.5�, which allows you to lose track of your body. The tank is sound proof and, when you turn off the light, completely dark. p No gravity, no touch, no sound, and no sight. SE Hawthorne & 45th � floathq.com � 503.384.2620 P16 Portland Mercury's TBA Guide August 30, 2012 LIVE MUSIC GOTYE Edgefield, 9/2 LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Tree Frogs, 6 pm; Blvd Park, Everyday Prophets, 9:30 pm, $7 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Petty Cash, 4 pm, all ages; The Applicants, 6 pm, free; Nathaniel Talbot, Lincoln Crockett, Jeff Martin, 9 pm, $8 MOCK CREST TAVERN--Sidestreet Reny, 9 pm MT. TABOR THEATER--Northbound Rain, 8:30 pm MUSIC MILLENNIUM--Ian Hunter CD signing, 1 pm, free, all ages NEL CENTRO--Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson, 9:30 pm PLAN B--System & Station, Marmits, Rllrbll, The Crash Engine, 6 pm PONDEROSA LOUNGE (AT JUBITZ)--Flexor T, 9 pm, $2-5 RECORD ROOM--Appendixes, 9 pm RED ROOM--Zombie Messiah, Fear the Slaughter, Unruly Instinct, Echoic, Article 13, 8:30 pm, $5 THE SECRET SOCIETY--Dominic Castillo, 6 pm, all ages SLABTOWN--Neon Sigh, Anne, Whirr, Lycus, 9 pm SLIM'S--Countryside Ride, 9 pm, free SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Alameda, Ezza Rose, Hip Hatchet, 9 pm, $7 THIRSTY LION--Brian Odell, DJ Soulshaker, 9:30 pm TONIC LOUNGE--Evvnflow, The Greencarts, Soul Ill, 9:30 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Tony Moretti, 9 pm, $15 TRADER VIC'S--Xavier Tavera's Chamber Orchestra from Cuba, 8 pm TRIPLE NICKEL--Video Night Fever: DJ Stockholmz, 9:30 pm TWILIGHT CAFE & BAR--Mohawk Yard, Chaotic Karisma, 8 pm, $5 VIE DE BOHEME--Contigo THE WAYPOST--Sun Tunnels, Purrbot, 8 pm WHITE EAGLE--De La Warr, The Glyptodons, Leigh Marble, 9:30 pm, $6 WONDER BALLROOM--Why?, Serengeti, DJ Sodapop, 9 pm, $14-15, all ages LANDMARK SALOON--Ian Miller, Jake Ray, 5:30 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Dan Haley, Tim Acott, 9:30 pm, free LOLA'S ROOM--Ana Tijoux, Tope, 8 pm, $15-20 MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Doc McTeer's Medicine Show, 6 pm, free; Sirloin Sunrise, 9 pm, free MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Brent Amaker & The Rodeo, Dollywood Babylon, 9 pm, $5 MOON & SIXPENCE--Foghorn Stringband, free MUDDY RUDDER--Irish Music, 4 pm PLAN B--Sizzlefest: Rabbits, Lord Dying, Thrones, Yob, Taurus, Redneck, Weird Fear, Party Foul, DRC3, Billions & Billions, 5 pm PSU PARK BLOCKS--Superfest: Strategy, Phone Call, Nathan Detroit, DJ Freaky Outty, 4 pm, free, all ages ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Dojo Toolkit, 9 pm RONTOMS--Paper Brain, Brass Bed, 8:30 pm, free ROSELAND--Amon Tobin, 9 pm, $30, all ages ROTTURE--Soft Metals, Cosmetics, Light House, DJ Maxx Bass, Musique Plastique, 9 pm, $7 SLIM'S--Suburban Slim, 8 pm, free THE SPARE ROOM--Angel Bouchet Band, 8 pm, free VALENTINE'S--Justin Rayfield, GoGoSnapRadio, The Sorry Devils, 9 pm, $3 WHITE EAGLE--Lustful Monks, 7 pm, free WONDER BALLROOM--The Wombats, 8 pm, $12-13, all ages MONDAY 9/3 AL'S DEN--Adrian H, 7 pm, free BLUE DIAMOND--Tom Grant, 9 pm DANTE'S--Karaoke from Hell, 10 pm DOUG FIR--Lee Fields & The Expressions, 9 pm, $13-15 EDGEFIELD--Skip vonKuske, 7 pm, free GOODFOOT--Sonic Forum Open Mic, 8 pm, $1 HAWTHORNE THEATRE--My Children My Bride, Betrayal, Lions Lions, Famous Last Words, Verah Falls, 7 pm, $12-14, all ages ISLAND MANA WINES--David & Goliath, 4 pm JADE LOUNGE--Cover Songs Spectacular: Elie Charpentier, 6 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Dan Balmer, 8 pm, free KELLS--Bill Tollner, 9 pm THE KNOW--Rattus, Trauma, Vicious Pleasures, 8 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Portland Country Underground, 6 pm, free; Kung Pao Chickens, 9 pm, free MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Mr. Ben, 5 pm, all ages MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--Chris Sand, Dan Weber, 4 pm, free MUDDY RUDDER--Lloyd Jones, 8 pm MUSIC MILLENNIUM--Community Day: Will West, Lew Jones, Jack McMahon, 10 am, free, all ages; Lee Fields, 2 pm, free, all ages PLAN B--Erik Anarchy, Raw & Order, Synesthesia, Hepsi, Feral Drollery, 9 pm PUB AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE--Open Mic, 8 pm, free QUIMBY'S AT 19TH--Soul Mates, 9 pm RED & BLACK CAFE--Scrap Kids, Living Rheum, 7 pm ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Mt. Air Studios, 10 pm SLABTOWN--Steelhymen, 9 pm TIGER BAR--Metal Machine, 9 pm, $2 WHITE EAGLE--Father Figure, Surfs Drugs, Son Lok, 8:30 pm, free SUNDAY 9/2 BOOM BAP!--Dunes, The Caldonias, Nucular Aminals, 8 pm, $5, all ages ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Tyrone Wells, Justin Klump, 7 pm, $20 AL'S DEN--Adrian H, Justin Miller, 7 pm, free ANDINA--Danny Romero, 7 pm ASH STREET SALOON--The Small Arms, Horse Bodies, The Bumpin' Nastys, 9:30 pm, $5 AUGUSTANA LUTHERAN CHURCH--Augustana Jazz Quartet, 6 pm, free, all ages BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Felim Egan, 8 pm BLUE MONK--George Colligan Quartet, 8 pm BUNK BAR--Ty Segall, The Memories, 10 pm, $10 CLYDE'S PRIME RIB--Ron Steen Jazz Jam, 8:30 pm, free DANTE'S--Sinferno Cabaret, 11 pm DOUG FIR--The Heavy, The Silent Comedy, 9 pm, $12-14 EAT: AN OYSTER BAR--Reggie Houston's Box of Chocolates, 11 am EDGEFIELD--Lisa Forkish, 5 pm, free; Gotye, 6 pm, $49.50-52, all ages FIRKIN TAVERN--Open Mic, 8 pm, free FORD FOOD & DRINK--Tim Roth, Sun, noon, free, all ages GOODFOOT--Andy Coe Band, Cats under the Stars, 9 pm JADE LOUNGE--Dan Cecil, 6:30 pm KELLS--Irish Session, 6 pm; Bill Tollner, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--The Embalming Process KENTON CLUB--Schande, The Happening, Thee Four Teens, 9 pm, free TUESDAY 9/4 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Josh Garrels & Mason Jar Music, 7:30 pm, $12-15 AL'S DEN--David J, Adrian H, 7 pm, free ASH STREET SALOON--The Orchestrion, Animal R&R, 9:30 pm, $5 August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 25 26 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 LIVE MUSIC AMON TOBIN Roseland, 9/2 NATHAN SEABROOK BACKSPACE--Geoff Baker, Ruby Pines, De La Warr, Sam Cooper, 9 pm, all ages BLUE DIAMOND--Sportin' Lifers, 9 pm BLUE MONK--Pagan Jug Band, 6:30 pm, free; Superposition State Quartet, 8 pm BUNK BAR--Foreign Orange, Eidolons, 9 pm, $3 DUFF'S GARAGE--Trio Bravo, 6 pm, $2; Dover Weinberg Quartet, 9 pm, $2 EAST END--Phalgeron, Headless Pez, Heathen Shrine, 9 pm EDGEFIELD--Caleb Klauder, Sammy Lind, 7 pm, free THE ELIXIR LAB--Johnny D's Community Jam, 7 pm GOODFOOT--Radula, 9 pm, free HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--Rob Stroup, 6 pm, free HI PORTLAND NORTHWEST HOSTEL--Kathryn Claire, free, all ages THE HUTCH--Open Mic, 8 pm, free IVORIES--Tom D'Antoni, 4:30 pm; Jazz Jam: Carey Campbell, 7 pm JADE LOUNGE--Colin Johnson, 7 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Joey DeFrancesco Trio, 9 pm, $22-27 KELLER AUDITORIUM--Jane's Addiction, Big Black Delta, 8:30 pm, $46.50-63 KELLS--Bill Tollner, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--U Sco, Stupid Man Suit, Electro-kraken, 9 pm, $5 KENTON CLUB--Stupid Man Suit, 9 pm, free THE KNOW--Drunk Dad, Heavy Medical, Bubonic Bear, Big Black Cloud, 8 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--Jackstraw, 6 pm, free LVS--Ron Steen's Jazz Jam, 8:30 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Highway Poets, 6 pm, free; Baby Ketten Karaoke: Deerhoof's Breakup Song, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--The Sale, Acoustic Minds, The Druthers, 8 pm, $11 MOCK CREST TAVERN--Johnnie Ward & The Eagle Ridin' Papas, 8:30 pm MT. TABOR THEATER--Open Mic Night: Simon Tucker, 8 pm, free MUSIC MILLENNIUM--Teresa James & the Rhythm Tramps, 6 pm, free, all ages O'CONNORS VAULT--Gary Ogan, Dave Captein, Casey James, 7 pm, $12-15 QUIMBY'S AT 19TH--Tom Grant, 8:30 pm, free ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Brothers n' Laws, 9 pm SHAKER AND VINE--Arthur Moore's Harmonica Party, 8 pm SLABTOWN--Highway Poets, Tater & Craig, 9 pm SLIM'S--Open Mic, 9 pm, free TASTE ON 23RD--Brandstson Duo, 6:30 pm, free THIRSTY LION--Eric John Kaiser, 9 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Bo Ayars, 6 pm, free TWILIGHT CAFE & BAR--Open Mic Night: The Roaming, 8 pm VALENTINE'S--Mufasa, Talkative, Mars Water, 9 pm, $3 VINO VIXENS--Arthur Moore's Harmonica Party, 6 pm WHITE EAGLE--The Infinity of it All, Christopher Reyne, Bevelers, 8:30 pm, free WONDER BALLROOM--Missy Higgins, Katie Herzig, Butterfly Boucher, 8:30 pm, $20-23, all ages ASH STREET SALOON--Random Axe, Stepper, Fred Ped, 9:30 pm, $5 BIDDY MCGRAW'S--Henry Hill Kammerer, 9 pm BLUE DIAMOND--The Fenix Project, 9 pm CAMELLIA LOUNGE--The Goods Jazz Jam: Errick Lewis & the Regiment House Band, 8:30 pm CRYSTAL BALLROOM--MusicfestNW: Passion Pit, LP, 9 pm, $32, all ages DEPOKOS PIZZA--Open Mic, 8 pm, all ages DOUG FIR--MusicfestNW: Sloan, Bobby Bare Jr., The Minus 5, 9 pm, $15 DUFF'S GARAGE--High Flyers, 6 pm, $2; Suburban Slim's Blues Jam: Suburban Slim, John Neish, Jeff Strawbridge, 9 pm EAST BURN--Irish Music Jam, 7 pm EDGEFIELD--Jimmy Bivens, 7 pm, free ELLA STREET SOCIAL CLUB--Anna & the Underbelly, Jeffrey Martin, Jackalope Saints, 9 pm, $5 EUGENIO'S--Open Mic, 6:30 pm FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN--Kory Quinn, 9:30 pm GOOD NEIGHBOR PIZZERIA--Open Mic GOODFOOT--Mother Shrew, Leo J & the Melee, 9 pm, $5 GROOVE SUITE--Suzanne Kraft, Etbonz, Break Mode, Acid Farm, 10 pm, $5 HAWTHORNE THEATRE--MusicfestNW: Against Me!, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Joyce Manor, 7 pm, $18, all ages HAWTHORNE THEATRE LOUNGE--Lost City, Montclaire, 5 pm, free HOLOCENE--Bruxa, We Are Like the Spider, DJ Beyondadoubt, TR-187, 8:30 pm, $5 ISLAND MANA WINES--David & Goliath, 4 pm IVORIES--Tom D'Antoni, 4:30 pm JADE LOUNGE--Hazel Rickard, 7 pm; Adria & Friends, 7 pm JIMMY MAK'S--Mel Brown Quartet, 8 pm, $5 KELLS--Bill Tollner, 9 pm THE KNOW--Grimace, Party Foul, 8 pm LANDMARK SALOON--Jake Ray & The Cowdogs, 9:30 pm LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE--BBQ Orchestra, 6 pm; Sam Eliad, Scott Law, 9 pm MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB--Mr. Hoo, Wed, noon, all ages; Sam Cooper, 9:30 pm, free MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--MusicfestNW: Superhumanoids, Jjamz, Adventure Galley, 9 pm, $12 O'CONNORS VAULT--Jon Koonce & One More Mile, 8 pm, free RED ROOM--Open Mic, 9 pm REVIVAL DRUM SHOP--The Secret Drum Band, Dubai, 8 pm, $5, all ages ROCK BOTTOM BREWERY--Jordan Harris, 9 pm ROSELAND--MusicfestNW: Hot Snakes, Red Fang, Hungry Ghost, 9 pm, $20 SENGATERA--Tsegue-Mariam Guebrou Project, 8 pm, $1-5 SUNDOWN PUB--SongWrecker Cabaret, 9 pm TED'S--Hello Echo, Neutralino One, 9:30 pm TONY STARLIGHT'S--Mel Kubik, Christopher Woitach, 7:30 pm, $8 TRADER VIC'S--Xavier Tavera's Chamber Orchestra from Cuba, 6 pm VALENTINE'S--Mollusk, 9 pm VIE DE BOHEME--Teresa James & the Rhythm Tramps, 8:30 pm, $5 THE WAYPOST--Classical Revolution, 7 pm WHITE EAGLE--The Nutmeggers, 8:30 pm, free WILF'S--Ron Steen Trio, 7:30 pm, $7 WEDNESDAY 9/5 ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE--Lucy Wainwright Roche, Lindsay Fuller, 8 pm, $15-18 ALBERTA STREET PUBLIC HOUSE--Suck My Open Mic w/Tamara J. Brown, 7:30 pm, free AL'S DEN--David J, Adrian H, 7 pm, free August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 27 HUMP! 2012 is in Portland November 8-11 at Cinema 21 and it sells out EVERY YEAR. The surest way to get in is to GET IN, if you know what we mean. Okay, here's what we mean: Every HUMP! submission gets you a pair of tickets to attend the festival even if you don't make the final cut. Submit your freaky, kinky, funny, wonderful short porn to: The Portland Mercury 115 SW Ash Street, Suite 600 by October 5th. See details (and download release forms) at portlandmercury.com/hump 28 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 DJ LISTINGS Alberta Rose Theatre Thursday, August 30th SWING TIME VARIETY SHOW LAST THURSDAY TRIBUTE TO Friday, August 31st PASSION PIT Crystal Ballroom, 9/5 TOM WAITS THE SOUL REBELS JUSTIN BORUCKI THURSDAY 8/30 BEECH ST. PARLOR--Bill Portland CC SLAUGHTERS--Hiphop Heaven: DJ Alex Hollywood, 9 pm, free CLUB 21--Greyskull CROWN ROOM--Counter Culture, 10 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Request Night: DJ Jens FEZ--Shadowplay: DJ Horrid, DJ Ghoulunatic, DJ Paradox, 9 pm, free JONES--New Jack Swing: Doc Adam, 10 pm, $5 LANGANO LOUNGE--Veridius Quo, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL--DJ Panty Droppa, free MOLOKO PLUS--King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free NICK'S FAMOUS CONEY ISLAND--Eye Candy: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free SANTA FE TAQUERIA--Salsa Social SOS: DJ Armando, 9 pm SAUCEBOX--Evan Alexander SOMEDAY LOUNGE--Happy Hour: Mr. Romo, DJ Michael Grimes, 4 pm STAR BAR--Party Time: DJ A-Train, Isaiah Summers, 10 pm, free TIGA--Alex John Hall TRADER VIC'S--National Mai Tai Day: DJ Drew Groove TUBE--Sethro Tull, 7 pm VALENTINE'S--DJ Invisible Ziggurat, 9 pm VAULT--Jams: DJ 60/40 WORKSHOP PUB--Phonographix Video DJs, 9 pm HOLOCENE--Booty Bassment: Ryan & Dimitri, Maxx Bass, Nathan Detroit, 9 pm, $5 JONES--80s & 90s Dance Music, 10 pm, $5 LOLA'S ROOM--All Decades Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox, 8 pm, $5 THE LOVECRAFT--DJ Miss Prid, 10 pm LUCKY DEVIL--DJ Kenoy, free MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS--MRS: 2 Cool 4 School: DJ Beyonda, Noelle, Mr. Charming, II Trill, Ill Camino, 10 pm, $5 MOLOKO PLUS--King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free MOTHERS VELVET LOUNGE CAFE--Mr. Mumu ROTTURE--Andaz: DJ Anjali, The Incredible Kid, 9 pm, $3-7 THE SPARE ROOM--Sugar Town Zoom: DJ Action Slacks, 9 pm, $5 STAR BAR--Go French Yourself: DJ Cecilia Paris, 10 pm, free TIGA--DJ Sweet Relish TUBE--Saturdazed: Josh Booze, 7 pm VALENTINE'S--Kiffo, 9 pm Sunday, September 2nd TYRONE WELLS JUSTIN KLUMP Tuesday, September 4th an evening with WITH SUNDAY 9/2 AALTO LOUNGE--Whiskey Bitters, 9 pm, free ALLEYWAY CAFE & BAR--Country Music, 3 pm, free, all ages BEULAHLAND--The Original Eye Candy Video Night: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free CC SLAUGHTERS--Superstar Divas, DJ Robb, 8 pm, free CRUSH--DJ Mikey, 10 am-2 pm DEVILS POINT--Stripparaoke: KJ Zero, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Noches Latinas: DJ Marco, 9 pm GROUND KONTROL--DJ Nate C, 9 pm LUCKY DEVIL--Ladies Night: DJ Mani, free TUBE--Dark Sundays: DJ Josh Dark, 10 pm FRIDAY 8/31 AL'S DEN--DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid, 10:30 pm, free BEECH ST. PARLOR--Mudslide McBride BEULAHLAND--DJ Pants, 9 pm BLITZ 21--DJ Sovern-T, 9 pm, free BLUE MONK--The Down Stroke: DJ N-Able, DJ Void, 9 pm CC SLAUGHTERS--Filthy Fridays: DJ Robb, 9 pm, free CROWN ROOM--Blown: Keys, Uncommon Sense, Dan Cin, D. Poetica, 10 pm, free DEVILS POINT--DJ Kenoy, 9 pm, free ELEMENT--Chris Alice, 9 pm THE EMBERS AVENUE--On the Avenue: DJ Jens, 9 pm FEZ--Shut Up & Dance: DJ Gregarious, 10 pm, $5 GOODFOOT--DJ Aquaman's Soul Stew GROUND KONTROL--Super Cardigan Brothers, 9 pm, $2 HOLOCENE--DJ Rom Com, 5 pm, free; Snap!: Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, 9 pm, $3 JONES--Back to the Future Fridays: DJ Zimmie, 8 pm, $5 LANGANO LOUNGE--DJ RS2, 9 pm LOLA'S ROOM--'80s Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox, 8 pm, $6 THE LOVECRAFT--DJ Horrid, 10 pm LUCKY DEVIL--DJ Joe, free MATADOR--Infamous: DJ Rattooth, DJ Makeout, 10 pm, free MOTHERS VELVET LOUNGE CAFE--Mr. Mumu PALACE OF INDUSTRY--DJ Holiday, 7 pm, free STAR BAR--Blank Fridays: DJ Ikon, 10 pm, free TIGA--Beacon Sound TUBE--Neil Blender, 7 pm VALENTINE'S--DJ Nine Inch Nilina, 9 pm JOSH GARRELS MASON JAR MUSIC and MONDAY 9/3 BLUE MONK--Deep Cuts, 8 pm CLUB 21--Witch Throne GROUND KONTROL--Service Industrial: DJ Tibin, 9 pm KELLY'S OLYMPIAN--Eye Candy: VJ Norto, Phantom Hillbilly, 8 pm, free MATADOR--I Don't Like Mondays: DJ Rhienna, DJF, 10 pm, free O'MALLEY'S SALOON & GRILL--Heavy Metal Monday: Bozyk, 9 pm STAR BAR--Metal Mondays: DJ Nefarious, 10 pm, free TIGA--City Baby TUBE--DJ Matt Scaphism, 7 pm Wednesday, September 5th TUESDAY 9/4 BEECH ST. PARLOR--Mercedez CC SLAUGHTERS--DJ Robb, 9 pm, free CLUB 21--DJ Dirty Red CROWN ROOM--See You Next Tuesday: Kellan, DJ Avery, 9 pm, free DEVILS POINT--DJ Kenoy, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Recycle: DJ Tibin, 9 pm, free GROUND KONTROL--Rock Band Tuesdays: MC T. Wrecks, 9 pm, free THE LOVECRAFT--Tom Waits Night: DJ Full of Bourbon, 8 pm; Death Club: DJ Entropy, 10 pm MATADOR--DJ Donny Don't, 10 pm, free SWIFT LOUNGE--Boogie Tuesday: Maxx Bass, Gwizski, Mikie Lixx TIGA--Coldyron TUBE--DJ Overcol, 7 pm; Tubesday, 10 pm Lucy Wainwright Roche & Lindsay Fuller Thursday, September 6th an evening with SLAID CLEAVES and ELIZA GILKYSON Friday, September 7th an evening with SATURDAY 9/1 AURA--Twice as Nice: DJ TJ, A Train, Tandem, 10 pm, $10 BERBATI'S PAN--Music for the Masses: King Fader, 10 pm, free CC SLAUGHTERS--House of Hollywood: DJ Alex Hollywood, 9 pm, free THE CONQUISTADOR--DJ Rhienna, DJF CROWN ROOM--Lil Wayne vs. Jay-Z Part 2: Doc Adam, DJ Nature, Ronin Roc, 10 pm, $3 CRUZROOM--John-Lewis Lookingglass, Theronious Chunk, 10 pm, free DEVILS POINT--DJ Brooks, 9 pm, free DIG A PONY--DJ Maxamillion THE EMBERS AVENUE--Portland Tonight: DJ Jens, 9 pm FEZ--Twice as Nice: DJ TJ, A Train, Tandem, 10 pm, $10 GREELEY AVE. BAR AND GRILL--Eye Candy: VJ Norto, The Phantom Hillbilly, 9 pm, free GROOVE SUITE--After Dark GROUND KONTROL--Daddy Longlegs, 9 pm, $2 WEDNESDAY 9/5 CC SLAUGHTERS--Trick: DJ Robb, 9 pm, free THE EMBERS AVENUE--Gothic Industrial: DJ Jens, 9 pm JONES--Spin Sugar: Doc Adam, 10 pm, $5 LADD'S INN--DJ Kutthroat, 9:30 pm, free THE LOVECRAFT--DJ Nealie Neal, DJ Unruly, 9 pm MOLOKO PLUS--King Tim 33.3, Discus Noir, 10 pm, free SAUCEBOX--DJ Nealie Neal STAR BAR--DJ Chris Crusher,10 pm, free TIGER BAR--Juicy Wednesdays: DJ Detroit Diezel, 9 pm, $2 TUBE--Loyd Depriest, 6 pm; DJ Creepy Crawl, 7 pm THE WHISKEY BAR--Whiskey Wednesdays: American Girls, 10 pm, free DUFFY BISHOP AND FRIENDS Coming Soon 9.8 - LIVE WIRE! 9.9 - MARY GAUTHIER W/ SARAH LEE GUTHRIE & JOHNNY IRION 9.13 - MATT THE ELECTRICIAN � JOHN ELLIOTT (503) 764-4131 3000 NE Alberta AlbertaRoseTheatre.com August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 29 CULTURE/ART/PDX BOOK REVIEW Facebook updates indicate she's dating a man who "looks like an NPR listener." And even though when Ben's kids were alive he at times resented being a full-time dad, it's to caregiving that he returns when he needs a new job. He takes a position caring for a homebound 19-year-old with muscular dystrophy--Trevor is physically limited but intellectually sharp, and the two develop a routine of watching travel shows and mapping America's weirdest roadside attractions. This habit inspires a road trip to visit Trevor's estranged father, where they pick up a few hitchhikers and dodge a mysterious figure in a brown Buick who may or may not be following them. The novel's structure unfolds in three parallel storylines: Ben and Trev's road trip from Washington State to Salt Lake City; a miserable trip Ben and his wife took years earlier when she was pregnant with their second child; and the slow unfolding of the day Ben's kids died. Evison doles out the story of that fateful day one careful, chapter-length scene at a time, beginning with an achingly perfect description of the breakfast Ben shared with his family the day of the accident. (Chapter title: "Any Other Day.") Evison is a Washington-based writer whose books have been a case of "too hot, too cold, just right" for my tastes. His first novel, the Washington State Book Award-winning All About Lulu, was a heartfelt but too-quirky love story; his second, West of Here, was sprawling and ambitious, and I gave up on it after a few chapters. The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving grapples with big themes, but it retains the sensitive attention to character and detail that was Lulu's strength. The narrow focus on Benjamin's unhappiness--on his guilt, his anxiety about his future, his despair over the end of his marriage--gives a very far-reaching question a very particular face. "Who wants to live in a world where suffering is the only thing that lasts, a place where every single thing that ever meant the world to you can be stripped away in an instant?" Ben asks, and it's a fair question--he did, after all, watch his kids die, unable to save them. Revised Fundamentals is a small, personal tale, a road-trip story twinned with Ben's struggle to figure out if life is worth living, and why--the end will come as no surprise, but getting there is an enjoyable journey. ALISON HALLETT COMIC BOOK REVIEW Prophet, Vol. 1: Remission by Brandon Graham, Simon Roy, Farel Dalrymple, and Giannis Milonogiannis (Image Comics) COMIC BOOK REVIEW EADING PROPHET is an act of acceptance: The far-future Earth you find yourself in won't make sense, in part because it's moved so far past mankind that it's unrecognizable. Strange R and terrifying predators stalk arid badlands; elephantine behemoths march in caravans, feeding on each other's shit; creepy vagina monsters demand sex; aliens with crystallized brains serve mysterious masters; and the ghosts of girls float through derelict spaceships. Reading Prophet is to give in to culture shock--because what you get in exchange is a rush of astonishing, thrilling imagination. Written by King City's Brandon Graham and illustrated by a rotating cast of indie artists--this first volume boasts Simon Roy, Farel Dalrymple, and Giannis Milonogiannis--Prophet focuses on John Prophet, a relic of a supersoldier from a long-forgotten Earth empire. Armed with little more than a knife, basic survival supplies, and his brain, Prophet emerges from hypersleep, vomits, and sets off on a nebulous, dangerous mission requiring exploration, feats of supersoldier strength, and a willingness to have sex with creepy vagina monsters. Graham doesn't give up any backstory easily--neither Prophet's nor Earth's--so this soldier's long, strange voyage is ours, with just about every page holding something weirder than the last. And all of it is beautifully, jarringly inventive, cool, and creepy. If you can give yourself over to Graham & Co.--if you're willing to head into the far-future and try to keep up--you'll find yourself one hell of a read. ERIK HENRIKSEN a composite of a few real-life hackers. Starting with Kevin figuring out how to forge bus transfers, Piskor follows him as he steadily, obsessively graduates to bigger schemes, first using the computer in the home he shares with his grandmother to get free phone calls and pirate videogames (modifying them so that gamers are greeted with the pixilated phrase "BOINGTHUMP OWNS YOUR SOUL, SUCKA!"), then moving up to helping pimps keep their call girls' phone lines open. ("I paid that kid, like, tens of thousands over a few months. Cash!!" a pimp remembers. "He still looks like his mom dressed him, though.") It's interesting stuff, but Wizzywig can be frustrating, too: Since Piskor never says what was inspired by what, the book starts to feel increasingly detached and farfetched as Kevin's exploits--and legal problems--grow. And while Piskor's brash tone is a great fit for the stick-it-to-the-man material, some of his other choices (when Steves Job and Wozniak briefly appear, they're inexplicably dressed like Alice in Wonderland's March Hare and Mad Hatter) distract more than enlighten. No doubt there are some great real stories behind Wizzywig, but it's hard to get too invested when you're never sure what's real and what's Piskor. ERIK HENRIKSEN The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving by Jonathan Evison (Algonquin Books) Reading w/Willy Vlautin at Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, Wed Sept 5, 7:30 pm T HERE AREN'T A LOT of mothers in The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving. Like an alternate-universe Bounty commercial, men do the caretaking in Jonathan Evison's new novel; most of the mothers are working or dead. Evison doesn't attach any particular value judgment to this reversal of traditional caregiving roles--sure, some of these fathers tend toward the mustard-stained and fly-unzipped, but they do their best; moreover, they're saddled with the burden of responsibility if anything happens to those under their care. When the novel opens, first-person narrator Benjamin is beginning to emerge from the several years of heavy drinking and suicidal impulses that followed the accidental deaths of his two children. Benjamin, a stay-at-home dad, was with his kids when they died; the accident might have been his fault. His wife left soon after--she moved to Portland, where her Wizzywig by Ed Piskor (Top Shelf Productions) IZZYWIG is the first solo release from cartoonist Ed Piskor, and it's "inspired by the incredible stories of real-life hackers." That's a fascinating subject: Now our lives are inextricably woven into the internet, but there was a time when a few kids with computers and phone lines could play around, explore, and fuck with the hardware and software that would go on to dominate our lives. Wizzywig stars Kevin "Boingthump" Phenicle, W 503.231.9784 portlandmercury.com 30 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 ThinkRenaissance.org Jeff is back at the Sea Tramp! God is an artist? The New I, Anonymous Blog Read a Rant! Post a Rant! POETRY REVIEW F Fall Ill Medicine by Carrie Seitzinger (Small Doggies) ART REVIEW ALL ILL MEDICINE, the latest collection from Carrie Seitzinger, is a slim volume of work displaying the range and seriousness of the Portland poet's talent. Most of the poems are stories in verse with an autobiographical feel. Aside from a few detours, the book keeps a tight focus on personal upheaval. The poems capture and unpack memories, helpless moments of trauma or sadness that haunt the narrators. In "Like a Broken Window, Held with Tape," a perverse grandfather invades a dinner "in his bathrobe again," "explaining his wife had a tilted womb and in order to conceive he had to enter from the rear." A poem about an abortion is vivid, unsparing, and very good. There are also humorous asides, like in the brief gem "Fluorescent." "If someone hits on you at the supermarket, you should feel great. Those are some very powerful lights in there." Seitzinger's style is flowing and modern, her language strongest when rooted in tactile gut reactions to the world around her. The poems never shy away from the body. Emotions are wrought in visceral detail. "Tornado in my throat," "our vertebrae form a stairway," "stomachs like cutting boards." Bodies dominate these poems, their activity far removed from the sensibilities of those who inhabit them. I also enjoyed the several pieces specifically dedicated to paintings and other works of art. A dense paragraph inspired by a Basquiat work is original and evocative. Anne Sexton and J.D. Salinger also receive nods. The collection succeeds at provoking memories, special and forgotten, and it's at its best when it's at its bloodiest. "For years I've been acting like my wrecking ball heart/is someone else's lost marble" is an excellent line, dramatic and engaging, but I prefer when Seitzinger tackles "the red mess in my chest." Either way, it's the heart that animates these works, yearning and feeling things that most people are too decent to notice. All of that said, some of the poems stray too far into complicated metaphors, which is distracting in spite of strong writing, and a few of the poems are personal to the point of obscurity. Like most good poetry, it's best when read aloud to yourself, but if you can catch Seitzinger on her upcoming poetry tour, she is a gifted reader. Details are available at the Small Doggies website (smalldoggiesmagazine.com), which Seitzinger edits with her partner Matty Byloos. This is the second book from their press. JACOB SCHRAER lation, audience, and performer. John Rau and Olivia Erlanger follow with an audiovisual installation consisting of loops seen and heard: A 3D scan of an artist's body is forecasted to twist and turn onscreen, while a soundtrack plays on a loop. Curator Schaffner says such pieces embody the sort of technical mastery that alters our perception of artistic possibilities, widening a viewer's concept of creative reality. This titular Techne is also rendered in musical performance with sets by the Tenses (members of Smegma), Matt Carlson of Golden Retriever, and recent transplant Jason Urick, all pulling from their signature arsenals of ambient, textural, and exploratory sound. In addition to interactive projects, video pieces by Liz Harris (AKA Grouper) and Taryn Tomasello will further explore the relationship between mastery of craft and the manipulation of perceived reality. With the spendy Time-Based Art Festival coming in just a few weeks, the price of free makes Techne Rendered Dawn a no-brainer for anyone who's curious about some of Portland's greatest craftspeople, innovators, and explorers. MATT STANGEL ARTCHART OUR PICKS OF THE WEEK LORENA GUILLEN VASCHETTI AND NORMA VASCHETTI AUG 29 THROUGH SEPT 23 AMPERSAND � 2916 NE ALBERTA Them's Fightin' Words!--A reading series focused on things blue collar, gritty, and criminal, featuring readings from Brian Tibbetts and Dena Rash Guzman. St. Johns Booksellers, 8622 N Lombard, Fri Aug 31, 7 pm, stjohnsbooks.com Instant Comedy: Portland vs. Seattle--A special edition of the weekly comedy contest in which comics have 30 minutes to prepare a seven-minute set out of audience-suggested material. This installment pits Portland stand-ups against Seattle; Ian Karmel, Shane Torres, Christian Ricketts, and Gabe Dinger will represent the 503. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK, Fri Aug 31, 8 pm, $12-15, curiouscomedy.org Authors in Pubs--A literary event full to bursting with local artists sharing their works, including Shawna Reppert, Danielle D.M. Gembala, Bob Ferguson, and many more, plus live music provided by the Consort Symbiotic. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th, Mon Sept 3, 7 pm, 21+ And So It Goes...--Artists Repertory Theatre begins their 30th anniversary season with an adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s short-story collection Welcome to the Monkey House. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison, 241-1278, opens Wed Sept 5, runs Wed-Sun 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, through Oct 7, $20-50, artistsrep.org PO RTLAN D M E RCU RY.CO M HAS A COMPLETE CALENDAR OF ARTS EVENTS Techne Rendered Dawn Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Fri Aug 31 6-11 pm T HE LAST TIME I scanned a QR code, video instructions for the installation of a shelf arrived on my screen. A Mr. Rogers voice said "16-inches deep" more times than was comfortable, the instructions totaled about 20 seconds of a two-minute clip, and the overall interaction felt kinda raprock (a paper-to-digital confluence of questionable value and synergistic prowess). The usefulness of present-day augmented reality technologies is hard to pinpoint, and application of such tools often read as innovation for the sake of innovation, or bells and whistles for the sake of chime and call. But for Techne Rendered Dawn, a night of augmented reality presented by Disjecta, curators Wyatt Schaffner and Experimental Half Hour take a look at how craft and the mastery of such has shaped our realities all along. In mediums ranging film, performance, music, installation, and flat images, the showcased artists bend their worlds in some immersive, psychedelic, and fascinating ways. Take, for example, audiovisual duo MSHR (Birch Cooper and Brenna Murphy of Oregon Painting Society, the Slaves). Building total environments of the retro-futurist, post-apocalyptic variety, homemade synthesizers and interactive bleep-bloop devices are hidden in MSHR's alternate, fabricated realms-mirrors, lasers, driftwood, fog machines, etc.-allowing for unstaged interactions with light and sound between instal- WE BUY YOUR CLOTHES No Appointment Needed � Cash on the Spot � Friendly Buyers new location! WOMEN'S & MEN'S � CURRENT STYLES 128 NW 23RD AVE, PORTLAND 503.241.2545 3736 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD, PORTLAND 503.239.8099 www.crossroadstrading.com 1934 NE Alberta, 971.255.1793 NEVER stop doing what you like; ALWAYS take it to the HILT. August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 31 MELISSA DOW READINGS THURSDAY 8/30 ARTSCALENDAR DOWN TO FUNNY BEFORE THERE IS NOWHERE TO STAND A poetry reading, featuring contributors to the anthology Before There Is Nowhere to Stand: Palestine--Israel: Poets Respond to the Struggle, with Joan Dobbie, Sandy Polishuk, Scot Siegel, Sabena Stark, and Ingrid Wendt. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726, 7 pm regular guest on TruTV's The World's Dumbest, and winner of Austin's Funniest Person award should blend in just fine. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, 888-6438669, Thurs Aug 30, 8 pm, Fri Aug 31-Sat Sept 1, 7:30 & 10 pm, $20-25 SATURDAY 9/1 Katie Brien and Danny Felts present the latest edition of their monthly stand-up showcase, featuring performances from Bri Pruett, Jeff Oliver, Chris Castles, Seth Milstein, and Randy Mendez. East Burn, 1800 E Burnside, 236-2876, Mon Sept 3, 9 pm, free MARKET DAY POETRY SERIES Coordinated by Dan Raphael, a series of weekly poetry readings, in cooperation with the St. Johns Farmers' Market, featuring over 50 poets reading over the course of 22 weeks. St. Johns Booksellers, 8622 N Lombard, 283-0032, noon INSTANT COMEDY Five comics have 30 minutes to prepare a seven-minute set out of audience-suggested material, to be judged by that same audience in an effort to determine who wears the Instant Comedy crown. Featuring Ian Karmel, Sean Jordan, Stacey Hallal, Anthony Lopez, Gabe Dinger, and Tynan DeLong. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK, 477-9477, Sat Sept 1, 8 pm, $12-15 ATTN. IMBECILE: The Mercury cretins now have a "mobile website," so you can feel "stupid" on the go. Visit it, and regret doing so immediately. SUNDAY 9/2 PORTLAND POETRY SLAM Portland's punk-rock poetry competition, tossing eight tender souls into a grinder of verse, for a shot at $50 and a chance to represent PDX poetry at its finest. Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 248-2900, Sun $5 NOJOKE Maybe Portland's only outdoors-under-the-starlight comedy showcase, featuring performances on the back patio from Nathan Brannon, Tim Hammer, Tynan DeLong, Jesse McCoy, and Shawn "Boomer" Flack. The Fixin' To, 8218 N Lombard, 477-4995, Fri Aug 31, 9 pm, free MONDAY 9/3 JOSH GARRETT-DAVIS Ghost Dances is a reclamation of the author's childhood, his unusual family, and the Great Plains, discussing the resurgence of the Bison, and the Ghost Dancers who tried to ward off destruction before Wounded Knee. Powell's Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 228-4651, 7:30 pm VISUAL ART INTERIORS AND EXTERIORS An exhibition of acrylic paintings from artist Leslie Anderson, done as exercises in shape and color. Talisman Gallery, 1476 NE Alberta, Thurs Aug 30, 5 pm and Aug 31-Sept 23 mercmobile.com Blogs/Events/Movies PAUL LOUIS METZGER, KYOGEN CARLSON Connecting Christ: How to Discuss Jesus in a World of Diverse Paths examines the friendship of an evangelical theologian and a Zen Buddhist, looking at their relationship as friends, colleagues, and citizens. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm KYLE GOSSMAN, MARIO ROBERT, MATT SCHLOSKY, TRIPPER DUNGAN A group show featuring depictions of mysterious creatures from Kyle Gossman; paintings inspired by Portland from El Paso-based artist Mario Robert; works inspired by myths, ancient cultures, and graffiti by Matt Schlosky; and curious, cartoony psychedelic works by Tripper Dungan. Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark, 239-9292, Thurs Aug 30, 5 pm and Aug 31-Sept 24 TUESDAY 9/4 ERIC ERLANDSON The co-founder of Seattle grunge band Hole reads from Letters to Kurt, an elegy to the lead singer of Nirvana. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm SIX IMPOSSIBLE THINGS An exhibition of work from artist Heike Brachlow, continuing her ongoing explorations of form, interaction, and color. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th, 227-0222, Wed Sept 5, 5:30 pm and Sept 6-Oct 27 WEDNESDAY 9/5 S.M. STIRLING Lord of Mountains is the story of Artos, the High King of Montival, who must journey to the Lake at the Heart of the Mountains to unite the realms and gain an army that will put down his foes forever. Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, Beaverton, 228-4651, 7 pm TINT The PDX Window Project features Von Tundra's work, designed specifically to comment on the PDX Window Project itself, and how it compares to the more ubiquitous display windows area retailers use to attract customers. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders, 222-0063, Sept 4-29 THEATER THE 24 HOUR PRODUCTION Quick and Dirty Art Project, in collaboration with Matthew Zrebski of Playwright's West, presents a production concieved, written, staged, and performed for the first time in the space of one day. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, 220-2646, Mon Sept 3, 8 pm, $15 FAR AWAY A performance of Caryl Churchill's play that begins in a cozy cottage in the English countryside, where a young girl's curiosity about some mysterious happenings in the backyard shed lead to the total eradication of the lines between fantasy, reality, peace, war, beauty, and horror. Shaking the Tree Studio, 1407 SE Stark, 235-0635, opens Aug 31, runs Thurs-Sun 7 pm, through Sept 22, $20-25 CONTINUUM Playwrights West presents Patrick Wohlmut's play about an astronomer and a mathematician, once friends, now enemies, engaged in a cat-and-mouse game that threatens to upend their lives entirely. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, 220-2646, Thurs-Sat 8 pm, through Sept 1, $20-25 HENRY VI PART I Part of Milepost 5's Summer of Shakespeare. Milepost 5, 900 NE 81st, 724-6933, Thurs-Sun 7 pm, through Sept 8, free GIGGLE & BLUSH PEEPSHOW Featuring performances from Angie Pontani, Angelique DeVil, Ellie Darling, Lana Louche, Lucky Lucy O'Rebel, Pink Lady, Russell Bruner, Stilletta Maraschino, Sugar Kane, and Zora Von Pavonne. Live music by Hopeless Jack & the Handsome Devil. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 248-4700, Fri Aug 31, 9 pm, $15-25 THE SWEET SCIENCE SHOW Artwork from three Philadelphia artists: Keith Warren Greiman, James Ulmer, and Tim Gough. Grass Hut, 400 NW Couch, 241-0227, grasshutcorp.com, through Sept 4 COMEDY BRENDON WALSH Portland stole "Keep Portland Weird" from Austin, so Brendon Walsh, contestant on Last Comic Standing, For a complete calendar of arts events, see portlandmercury.com 32 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 Sold Out Elizabeth Cline and Overdressed by Marjorie Skinner IMMEDIATELY AFTER reading Elizabeth Cline's Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion, Crispin Argento felt compelled to email me. "I just finished reading this book, READ IT. Write about it." The designer of men's accessory line PINO then took it upon himself to make arrangements for the author, whose comprehensively researched book clearly lays out the economic, environmental, and cultural perils of America's consumption of massproduced, foreign-made "fast fashion," to visit Portland for a dinner and conversation with the city's independent design community. In a city that's made inroads in altering the typical path of fashion designer and consumer alike, much of Cline's testimony is already at the fore of conversation. It's the promise of new ideas, resources, and attitudes that, combined with Cline's extensive knowledge, will make this an event worth its slightly splurge-y ticket price (that and the included food and drink catered by Clyde Common). Portland Undressed: Dinner and Conversation with New York Author Elizabeth Cline on the Future of Sustainable Fashion in Portland, The Cleaners, 403 SW 10th, Tues Sept 4, 7 pm, $85, pinoportland.com. MERCURY: The most common criticism of local, independent clothing is that it is more expensive, which leads to a perception of its consumption as elitist, especially among people who aren't inherently interested in fashion. What is your response to this characterization? ELIZABETH CLINE: I wasn't inherently interested in fashion until I wrote Overdressed, and I also found it elitist, and I think those are normal responses to the shallow and unethical way the fashion industry is run today. But people should care about clothes, because it's an important part of our economy and because we live our lives in them. Our price expectations for clothing have been warped by corporate fashion chains that are able to sell clothes at artificially low prices by using poverty wages and producing millions of pieces of clothing a year. On the other end of the spectrum, luxury fashion brands have convinced some people that good clothes should cost thousands of dollars. Consumers should know that the independent designers are more often the ones selling clothes at a "fair" price, meaning their prices reflect the true costs involved, support fair wages for the designer and the sewing machine operators, and are produced in small, more sustainable batches. At the least, we need to be buying less and acknowledging that our clothing purchases matter. Can you suggest some simple guidelines for the typical consumer? Buy less and take care of what you own, no matter where you shop or at what price point. Do your homework and support ethical brands that have a commitment FASHION to human rights and the environment. Instead of buying clothes on impulse, set an annual or seasonal clothing budget (Americans spend $1,100 a year on average) and buy clothes that you want, need, and are going to last. What do you feel is the most pressing concern regarding the production of fast fashion? The environmental consequences of disposable clothing are going to come to a head fast. Fastfashion chains are now moving into places like China, where another 1.3 billion people are starting to take up the habit of splurging on clothes on a weekly basis. The fashion industry is already one of the biggest polluters in the world, and uses more water than any other industry besides agriculture. Fast fashion's plans for expansion are quite frankly unsustainable. Are you familiar with the independent fashion scene in Portland and do you have suggestions for the community? I am aware that Portland has an amazing independent design scene. Of course Gretchen Jones is from Portland, as are several other Project Runway contestants. What's most exciting to me is what Portland is doing with production resources like Spooltown and the Portland Garment Factory. I think locally produced and independent fashion is the future of the clothing industry, but it can't happen without garment factories! I see factories getting creative and offering branding and design consultation and fine-tuning the services that designers need today. My number one suggestion for independent designers is to be transparent about how and where your products are made and why your products cost what they do. The average consumer thinks that a $10 price tag is fair and a $100 price tag is a rip off. This thinking has to be totally reversed if we want independent design to appeal to a wider audience. Have you seen or heard anything since the publication of your book that has given you encouragement that our country's consumerist habits are evolving? When it came out that the American Olympic uniforms were made in China and there was a huge uproar, that was a watershed moment. Four years ago, I don't think anyone would have cared. What was the most surprising finding, to you, in the researching of your book? It's absolutely astounding how much clothing is being produced and also thrown away today. In 1960, a big batch of clothes produced at a factory might be 2,000 pieces. Today a company like Gap produces millions of pairs of a single style of jeans. We are buying more clothes, wearing them less, and getting rid of them faster as a result--we're throwing away 68 tons of textiles per person. August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 33 ISAAC HERS 2045 S.E. Belmont PDX Falafel & Hummus. Grendel's Coffee f House Serving organic coffee 8th & East Burnside 503-595-9550 MAC & CHEESERY macand cheese.biz 3936 N Mississippi Ave 34 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 Hidden in Plain Sight LAST SUPPER The Comforts of Home at Luce by Chris Onstad EAT IT! Katie O'Brien's -- and -During Timbers Blazers Games Happy Hour 3pm - 6pm Everyday NE 28th & Sandy Stiff Drinks Great Food KATIE SWEZEY BON APP�TIT Restaurant Editor An- chovy is carefully enhanced by the oily fish drew Knowlton named Luce the number- without being fishy. After these little introductions are a four most important new restaurant in America, and overnight the quiet little cor- selection of fresh, house-made pastas ofner caf� no one seemed to know about was fered in two sizes, the smaller of which is mobbed. (Check out our review from last designed to be ordered if tasting a few other year, "Let There Be Luce," Dec 1, 2011.) items. The tagliatelle with beef and pork People who had to look up East Burnside on ragu ($7/half, $14/whole) is thin and eggy, as a map ("It's by Idaho, Susan, and the ski- perfectly prepared as it is done anywhere, ing is terrible") rolled down from the West delicately presented with a rich crumble of meat and feathery dusting of Hills, across the bridge, and into Luce parmigiano. The ragu is deep the Buckman neighborhood, 2140 E Burnside and sophisticated, the tomato hungry for the newest place to 236-7195 flaunt their Coach handbags luceevents.blogspot.com cooked dark to complement the caramelized meats. The garand practice giving women their Pierce Brosnan eyes. It was a mathemati- ganelli ($9/half, $18/whole), essentially a cal--and undoubtedly brief--first response textured penne, is served in a shallow broth to a restaurant whose lovely soul has acci- with chopped and browned bits of rabbit and fresh peas. The simple liquor is deeply dentally made it fashionable. Knowlton's stated criteria were, in sum, satisfying, tasting intensely of mirepoix a return to simplicity in dining out. It suits and rabbit juices, and the dish feels light the economy: We have less money to spend and elegant. A shrimp and squash blossom on restaurants. It suits culinary trends: We farfalle with saffron, and a linguine with a have weathered a decade of steadily compli- light, creamy avocado-and-nut pesto are cated food and want something familiar. It both so straightforward and perfect that it suits occupational fatigue: A guy who eats makes one wonder why it's so hard to find out at such an accelerated pace just wants a such good pasta anywhere, since it seems so home-cooked meal. We go through regular effortlessly achieved here. A daily updated assortment of four or five gastronomic cycles of dark ages and enlightenment, and at this juncture Knowlton's well- Mediterranean comfort foods, such as egginformed prescription is for the pleasures of plant, mussels, and braised meats, rounds good, affordable food made by people you out the small selection of specials. Hanger know--sans fuss and theater. It's a timely steak with garlic and rosemary, at $10, is message well received by a town whose ev- a generous, sliced portion of this flavorful ery neighbor is curing jowl, bemoaning the butcher's cut, awash in its own juices on a blip of morel season, or chopping the heads plate with nothing else. Pair the rare meat with the bare-bones charred cabbage wedge and tails off a hot pot of basement hooch. On my first visit, Luce was a steadily un- ($6) for a stripped-down bistro meal, and safolding, charming surprise, until it was a joy. vor the liquid with the crisp, chewy, generThe small restaurant is shoehorned into its ously oiled fresh focaccia ($3). Having grown space, but comfortable, with wooden table- up in a family of freshwater fishermen, I weltops and scarred, checkered flooring, tall come any opportunity to avoid trout, but Lucabinets of dried pasta, cases of cold anti- ce's baked stuffed version ($12) looked crisp pasti, and baskets of tasteful sundries. It has and meaty, and was on many tables. The only letdown during these visits was the apparent service level of a friendly coffee shop, but the deep menu of a caf� you dreamt the watermelon pudding dessert ($7), a cold about after falling asleep between repeats of and mushy gelatinous half-sphere that tasted faintly of the fruit and mainly of nothing. NicJacques P�pin and Lidia Bastianich. A large menu of $2 antipasti creates er was the Luce cake ($7), a cautiously sweet, a low-risk sandbox for experimentation. crumbly, custard-filled pastry dusted with Though the staff humbly describes the powdered sugar and chopped pistachios. small portions as "heaping tablespoons," Luce is exactly the restaurant I didn't they are generally at least twice that, and know I was looking for: affordable, perenough for two people to get the idea be- sonal, and true to itself. The space underfore moving on. A few arancini, textbook- promises, the kitchen over-delivers, and perfect fried saffron risotto dumplings, well before the modest check arrived, I had should be on your plate, as should a wedge claimed it as my own. Get in line, and make of the tender farro-and-parmigiano pie, as it yours as well. both showcase simplicity and quality ingredients. Crisp, blanched green beans in a Wed-Sun 11 am-10 pm. Reservations for wrap of domestic prosciutto are served just eight or more. Beer, wine, and coffee availwarm, a nice twist on this typically cold ap- able. Expect waits during peak times from petizer, and the broccoli with garlic and an- here on out. FIND RESTAURANTS, BARS, AND READER REVIEWS AT PORTLANDMERCURY .COM 3 1 Tues. 9pm Friday $1 off call Neutral Boy Liquor 48 Thrills Micros Therapists Murderland On Draft Bitch School The Hot LZ's The Four Teens Hot Sack S.I.N. Music 8pm NHL, NFL & Blazer Packages at Katie's Breakfast Sat 9pm All Day Everyday August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 35 YOU AND A GUEST ARE INVITED TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING OF VISIT WWW.GOFOBO.COM/RSVP AND ENTER CODE MERCBQM7 TO DOWNLOAD PASSES TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING. THIS FILM IS RATED R. RESTRICTED. Under 17 Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian. Please note: Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Wrekin Hill Entertainment, Portland Mercury and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, recipient is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS! "IRRESISTIBLE!" -Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER WRITTEN BY RASHIDA JONES & WILL MCCORMACK DIRECTED BY LEE TOLAND KRIEGER WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM IN THEATERS SEPTEMBER 7 Surf. Sun. Shagging. Portland's Historic non-Profit tHeatre enter taining Por tl and since 1926 NOW PLAYING PORTLAND MERCURY THURS: 8/30/12 4.75" X 4.375" TS ALL.INB-P.0830.PORTLMERCURY CINETOPIA PROGRESS RIDGE 14 12345 SW Horizon Boulevard, Beaverton (360) 213-2800 CENTURY 16 CEDAR HILLS CROSSING 3200 SW Hocken, Beaverton (800) FANDANGO REGAL FOX TOWER STADIUM 10 846 SW Park Avenue, Portland (800) FANDANGO STARTS FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 CENTURY EASTPORT 16 4040 SE 82ND Ave, Portland (800) FANDANGO CENTURY CLACKAMAS TOWN CENTER 12000 SE 82nd Ave, Portland (800) FANDANGO REGAL BRIDGEPORT REGAL LLOYD MALL 8 VILLAGE STADIUM 18 2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 7329 SW Bridgeport Road, Tigard Portland (800) FANDANGO #1728 (800) FANDANGO #326 REGAL CITY CENTER 12 CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES 801 C Street, Vancouver OR CALL FOR SHOWTIMES (800) FANDANGO #432 4122 NE SaNdy BoulEvard EVENT HOTLINE: (503) 493-1128 VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.CELESTEANDJESSE.COM 4.75" X 3.5" PORTLAND MERCURY THURS 8/30 ThE hollyWood ThEaTrE NoW SErvES BEEr & WiNE. all agES STill adMiTTEd! THE EVIL DEAD opENs fRiDAY AUGUst 31 A BRAND NEW 35 mm pRiNt of sAm RAimi's Aurelio Emmett Artist: (circle one:) Heather Staci Freelance 2 Jay Steve Freelance 3 AE: (circle one:) Angela Maria Josh Tim McCool Deadline: ART APPROVED AE APPROVED CLIENT APPROVED Confirmation #: B-MOVIE BINGO: LITTLE TOKYO tHE misfits tUEsDAY sEptEmBER 4 � 7:30 WiTh adaM BravE BooK SigNiNg! SUNDAY AUGUST 19 pm � 2:00pm WoLfCHoiR & tHE HoLLYWooD tHEAtRE PrESENT tiN HoUsE PrESENTS ARtHUR miLLER's sHoW DoW N iN See the Mercury movie section for showtimes, and visit our NEW website w w w .H o l l y w o o d T H e a T r e . org IN THEATERS FRIDAY, AUGUST 31! 36 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 4 COLOR FILM Bootlegging for Fun and Profit Blood and Booze in John Hillcoat's Lawless by Erik Henriksen BEFORE STRAPPING ON the gimp mask in The Dark Knight Rises, and before terrifying/thrilling everyone in Bronson, British actor Tom Hardy was winning modeling contests and playing Patrick Stewart's shaven, sniveling clone in Star Trek: Nemesis. Not the most auspicious beginning, and one that seems even stranger when watching Lawless Lawless, the latest dir. John Hillcoat from The ProposiNow Playing tion and The Road Various Theaters director John Hillcoat. All but unrecognizable, Hardy shuffles and grunts his way though 1931 Virginia, where he and his brothers Jack (Shia LaBeouf) and Howard (Jason Clarke) run moonshine. Hardy, predictably, is fantastic--taciturn and grim until he's pushed, at which point he becomes all speed and brass knuckles--but Lawless is Jack's story. Like a backwoods The Godfather, we follow Jack as he clumsily tries to impress his tough brothers--a challenge made harder by the arrival of corrupt deputy Charlie Rakes (Guy Pearce). Throw in a preacher's daughter (Mia Wasikowska), a woman fleeing her Chicago past (Jessica Chastain), and crime boss Floyd Banner (Gary Oldman), and everything in Lawless is poised to blow like an amateur still. Lawless is confident and stern and beautiful, and punctuated with bursts of breathtakingly cruel violence; like The Proposition, it's written by Nick Cave, and it shares that film's tendency to work at such a heightened level that its intensity becomes almost comforting. (Until people start bleeding. Then it gets... more intense.) While Hardy's coiled menace is the most memorable part of the film, it's LaBeouf who holds the thing together, which is a weird thing to type. Earnest and stupid, Jack and his attempts to make a name for himself are a surprisingly sweet counterpoint to rest of the film's biggerthan-life characters. Which reminds me that Lawless is great, but not perfect: The preening, sneering Pearce is a blast to watch, but too cartoonish to be a real threat, and while it'd be a stretch to call the film light, it lacks the relentless nihilism of The Proposition and The Road. That comes as a relief--Lawless makes bootlegging look fun enough to make you wish it was still a valid career path--but Hillcoat seems most at home in the shadows. Lawless' best and most powerful moments are its most unexpected, its most desperate, its most bloody. LAWLESS Wow. That Transformer is really good at hiding! GEEK OUT RECYCLED GOODS New Super Mario Bros. 2 Developed by Nintendo Available Now for Nintendo 3DS "I DON'T THINK I'd like it if Nintendo had changed it too much." That was my fianc�e's reaction to New Super Mario Bros. 2 after spending a half hour with Nintendo's latest platformer. "I like that it feels like the old Mario games." She's absolutely right. I'm not going to feign surprise that yet another Nintendomade adventure starring a fat Italian plumber is quite good--that's to be expected--but I will point out how odd it is that this game succeeds specifically by avoiding innovation. The gaming community as a whole has spent years decrying developers for a lack of novel ideas in gaming--yet here's a title that's a perfect argument for why sometimes the best ideas are the old ideas. If you've played a Mario Bros. game at any point in the past, you're well aware of what you'll see in New Super Mario Bros. 2. One could very easily describe the game as a minor upgrade over the original Nintendo DS' New Super Mario Bros., though it would be more accurate to describe the game as a hybrid of the NES' Super Mario Bros. 3 and the SNES' Super Mario World. The game's levels exude an aesthetic that, while 3D, is as colorful and eye-catching as the latter games', while the majority of the adventure's items and gameplay ideas feel lifted directly from the former. (Yes, that means the raccoon tail is available--and unlike its Super Mario 3D Land iteration, this one is capable of actual flight.) Normally I'd slam a game for being so derivative of its predecessors, but in this case, I'm totally content with what Nintendo's done. There's a good reason why the company lifts ideas from its earlier games: They're simply among the best ever created. These ideas just work, and while this creative self-plagiarism makes New Super Mario Bros. 2 more of a remix than a sequel, it's still an undeniably excellent game. EARNEST "NEX" CAVALLI Hey, Killer Joe! Where You Goin' with That Gun in Your Pants? by Jamie S. Rich FILM FOR MOST PEOPLE, the term "guilty your conscience a little, but it's worth the pleasure" means enjoying something that karma points. Matthew McConaughey stars as Joe, isn't very good--but I'd rather apply it to a film like William Friedkin's Killer Joe, a a Dallas-based cop that commits pay-toslay crimes on the side. Chris scuzzball delight fueled by an Killer Joe (Emile Hirsch) is a drug dealer uncomfortable morality and dir. William Friedkin who owes six grand because his an unapologetic sense of its Opens Fri Aug 31 own mother stole cocaine from own depravity. There's much Fox Tower 10 him. He and his father (Thomas in Killer Joe that you shouldn't giggle at, be thrilled by, or do anything but Haden Church) hire Joe to kill the woman turn away from in revulsion. The fact that so they can cash a life insurance policy payFriedkin's expert storytelling makes you able to Chris' daydreaming younger sister, reject your own instincts and stick with Dottie (Juno Temple). In lieu of up-front his desultory crime picture may weigh on payment, Joe takes Dottie as his "retainer." Robot Dreams That the virginal sprite doesn't mind too much is just one of the many wrong things in a movie where everything goes wrong in every which way. Killer Joe is loud, abrasive, and full of people you'll actively dislike. It's also edited with incredible panache, hustling the pulpy plot along. It's like a nastier cousin to John Dahl's Red Rock West or Sam Fuller's The Naked Kiss. Friedkin revels in the seedier details of Tracy Letts' script while smartly giving his actors plenty of room in which to work: McConaughey begins his performance fully reined in, but the more Friedkin lets him off his chain, the scarier this Southern gentleman becomes. Joe's undeniably evil, and you'll get a perverse charge from watching every terrible thing he does. ROBOT: Today we're going to start a garden! FRANK: Oh, fuck this shit. Robot and Frank: A Robot! And Frank Langella! by Erik Henriksen FILM EX-CON FRANK (Frank Langella) is old, The robot takes out the trash, goes grocery tired, and starting to lose his memory. He shopping, and keeps Frank company. Frank lives alone in a filthy old house, eating cold ce- hates the robot. One morning the robot (voiced real and occasionally shuffling Robot and Frank by Peter Sarsgaard) serves Frank over to the library to (A) pick dir. Jake Schreier a grapefruit for breakfast: up books so he can fall asleep Opens Fri Aug 31 reading them, and (B) hit on the Fox Tower 10 FRANK: Just bring me some cereal. foxy librarian (Susan Sarandon). Frank can't keep track of things. Frank ROBOT: That cereal is full of unhealthy inblows off his children (James Marsden and gredients. I threw it away. Liv Tyler). Frank shouldn't be living alone. FRANK: Don't throw away my stuff. So his son buys him a robot--a "health care ROBOT: Frank, that cereal is for children. aide," who's programmed to monitor and Enjoy this grapefruit. improve Frank's physical and mental health. FRANK: You're for children, stupid. And so things go with Frank and his beleaguered robot--until Frank, thinking back on his days as a cat burglar, realizes he might be able to trick the robot into helping him pull off a heist. What results is... I don't know. A buddy dramedy? A hilarious caper flick? A melancholy meditation on aging? An incredibly charming and touching tale of two misfits? All of these things? Yes, that last one. A goofy plot twist or two aside, Robot and Frank is phenomenal--funny and sad and kind and weird and insightful. It's one of my favorite movies I've seen in a long time. It also really, really makes me want my own robot buddy. Possibly we would steal things. August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 37 Mike Birbiglia Is a Real Person THIS WEEK AT Week of Friday, August 31 through Thursday, September 6 Safety Not Guaranteed-R 5:30pm (No Wed) Ted- R 7:30pm (No Wed) + 2:30pm Sat & Sun Neil Young Journeys- PG 9:40pm (No Wed) + 10pm Wed Music Fest Northwest Screening Don't Follow Me - I'm Lost: A film about Bobby Bare Jr. 7pm Wed � FREE Storytelling, Night Terrors, and Sleepwalk with Me by Alison Hallett FILM Coming Soon Now they Call Him Sacramento Sept 23rd Reel Music Screenings Oct 14th, 17th, 23rd, 25th TBD 1624 N.W. Glisan Movie line: (503) 249-7474 Movies, music & events info: mcmenamins.com/mission TURN ON NPR and you'll probably hear an ety begins manifesting in dreams that his example of storytelling's popularity: "Real body acts out. Birbiglia's sleepwalking is the least interpeople" telling "true stories" are everywhere these days. Stand-up comedian Mike Birbi- esting element of the film--after one or two sequences of him tearing glia is a real person who has Sleepwalk with Me down a hotel hallway half-naa true story about his career dirs. Mike Birbiglia, Seth Barrish ked, dreaming a man with a in comedy, ending a relationOpens Fri Aug 31 gun is chasing him, the point ship, and a sleep disorder, Cinema 21 is pretty much made. (Other and he's gotten pretty good at telling it: First in a one-man show, then people's dreams are dull. No exceptions.) a book, and now the gently endearing film More compelling is the window into BirbigSleepwalk with Me, co-written with story- lia's stand-up career, which takes off after a guru-like Marc Maron--playing "Marc Multelling high priest Ira Glass. The likeable Birbiglia narrates the story, heren"--urges Birbiglia to tell jokes about and the film cuts between Birbiglia telling his his actual life instead of the clunkers he's story and seeing the story actually happen. been recycling since college. Birbiglia reminds us, several times, "Matt Pandamiglio" (Birbiglia) is an aspiring stand-up comedian, who's stuck in a relation- that what we're watching is a true story-- ship he can't commit to and has recently de- but he cast his movie with his famous comedian friends, and changed everyone's veloped some pretty... visceral nightmares. The great Lauren Ambrose (Can't Hardly names, just a little. Describing a story as Wait! Six Feet Under!) plays Abby, Matt's "true" suggests there's only one way to long-time girlfriend. "Everyone thinks the tell it, but if this mild little comedy has best thing about my life is my girlfriend," he a moral, it's this: Even a true story is laments, and it's true: She's wonderful. But changed in the telling. The best we can do he doesn't want to marry Abby, and his anxi- is to tell our stories honestly and well. www.portlandmercury.com OF THE BEST MOVIES OF THE YEAR!" RICHARD ROEPER "ONE "ONE HELL OF A MOVIE!" ROGER EBERT "A KNOCKOUT FILM!" NEW YORK MAGAZINE SLEEPWALK WITH ME Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... HHHHH Summer's Over (HIGHEST RATING) TIME OUT NEW YORK "MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY MESMERIZES!" ROLLING STONE EMILE JUNO To Live and Die in Oslo by Jamie S. Rich FILM McCONAUGHEY HIRSCH TEMPLE MATTHEW GERSHON GINA THOMAS HADEN AND CHURCH FROM ACADEMY AWARD WINNING DIRECTOR WILLIAM FRIEDKIN AND PULITZER PRIZE WINNING WRITER TRACY LETTS � #KillerJoe STARTS FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 38 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 REGAL FOX TOWER STADIUM 10 846 SW Park Avenue, Portland (800) FANDANGO VIEW THE TRAILER AT FACEBOOK.COM/KILLERJOETHEMOVIE THERE'S NOTHING inherently spe- temptation threat levels keep escalating. Trier's film is an honest, unsentimencial about the date August 31. For some, tal portrayal of the fallout it might represent the end Oslo, August 31 of addiction. Anders spends of a season, signaling a life dir. Joachim Trier most of the movie talking. change. As Anders, the main Opens Fri Aug 31 He tries to explain himself character of Joachim Trier's Living Room Theaters and own what he did. He Oslo, August 31 points out, never makes excuses, but he it's the day before the city drains the public pools. In other words, it's Anders' last still wants to manage how people react to him. The weight of his past is a burchance to sink or swim. Oslo, August 31 is a quiet movie. An- den and far more difficult to shrug off ders (played by Anders Danielsen Lie, who than the people in his life think. Trier was also in Trier's wonderful Reprise) is a assembles his story as a series of scat34-year-old junkie with two more weeks in tered moments, repeated exchanges, rehab. On August 30, he is given leave from and overlapping experiences. The openthe facility because he has a job interview. ing montage of faceless voices sharing (Had the treatment center known he tried their memories of Oslo places Anders to kill himself that morning, they might not within a larger narrative: He is one of have let him go.) Oslo follows Anders over many who have called this place home. the next 24 hours: he visits old friends, Yet, the devastating impact of Oslo, Aumisses a connection with his sister, blows gust 31 is how, ultimately, Anders is just the interview, and ends up at a party. His a single individual, all on his own. 4.75" X 7" THUR 08/30 FILM SHORTS The SAVAGE SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD THE 10TH VICTIM Elio Petri's 1965 black comedy, screening outdoors as a benefit for the Northwest Film Center's Portland International Film Festival. Hotel Modera. greeting; they speak to each other in fake German accents; they masturbate ChapStick tubes. It's only when a close friend explodes in exasperation that we learn they've been separated for six months, even though Jesse still lives in the studio behind their house. Clearly, things are about to get complicated. And although Celeste is shooting for romantic comedy, the laughs are inconsistent--and not nearly as impressive as the romantic side of the equation. MARJORIE SKINNER Various Theaters. 5 Years of Dan Savage on your iPhone LOVE iPhone App 2016: OBAMA'S AMERICA Anti-Obama propaganda, courtesy of conservative author Dinesh D'Souza. Shockingly, this film was not screened for critics. Various Theaters. �Podcasts? Yep. �Columns organized by subject? Got it. �Gross stuff? Tons. �Weird shit? And how. �Email Dan? If you must. $1.99 in the iTunes store. Buy one for yourself, or gift it to a special pal. 360 She boffs him. But he boffs her. And she boffs somebody else. You just can't win. Screenwriter Peter Morgan (The Queen) twists "La Ronde," Arthur Schnitzler's cautionary tale of sexual promiscuity, into a "love the one you're with" prestige flick that revels in its schematic ingenuity but forgets to make its characters interesting. Director Fernando Meirelles is as flamboyant as ever and gives his sprawling ensemble, which includes Anthony Hopkins, Rachel Weisz, Jude Law, and Ben Foster (as a sex offender, no less), plenty of globetrotting scenery to chew on, but finds none of the dramatic immediacy he brought to The Constant Gardener or City of God. JEFF MEYERS Living Room Theaters. CINEBITCH A monthly fundraiser for Bitch, with "beer, feminists, and trivia/discussion, and often films that you meant to see 15 years ago but didn't." This month's film: All I Wanna Do, "the awesome feminist crowd-pleaser that you never saw in 1998." Mississippi Studios. COSMOPOLIS Faithfully adapting a Don DeLillo novel to film is the same kind of challenge as adapting Shakespeare. The dialogue is beautiful, precise, and utterly unlike anything spoken by any human being alive: At the beginning of Cosmopolis, a security guard (Kevin Durand, at his most appealingly Christopher Walkenesque) tells his ridiculously wealthy employer, Eric Packer (Robert Pattinson), that he cannot cross New York City in his shiny white limo to get a haircut because the president is in town and "You will hit traffic that speaks in quarter inches." "Entire streets deleted from the map," he adds, in a picturesque sentence fragment. Durand chews on DeLillo's language, rolls it around his mouth, seems surprised at the cadences and imagery. But Pattinson is simply in over his head. He looks like a dotcom billionaire--young, bored, impressed with himself--and he wears the expensive suit well, but just about every line defeats him. PAUL CONSTANT Fox Tower 10. www.portlandmercury.com " B-MOVIE BINGO The Hollywood's series features B-movies, with the audience marking down clich�s on a custom-made bingo card. This time around: Showdown in Little Tokyo. Hollywood Theatre. " BATMAN Tim Burton's 1989 flick, screening as a paternity leave fundraiser. Laurelhurst Theater. BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD I'll let you in on a secret: Writing negative reviews is pretty easy. Every doofy plot twist and bungled CG jumpkick pulls you out of the moviegoing experience, allowing you plenty of time to compose elaborately mean puns for your headline. It's harder to review a movie when it succeeds--and I mean really succeeds, in that it draws you in completely. The surreal, fantastic Beasts of the Southern Wild is that kind of movie: You may leave the theater conflicted and even confused, but you won't be thinking about anything else while you're watching it. BEN COLEMAN Hollywood Theatre, Living Room Theaters, Tigard 11 Cinemas. BOYZ N THE HOOD Narrated by Steve Urkel. Laurelhurst Theater. THE CAMPAIGN Will Ferrell stars as Cam Brady, a four-term Congressman from North Carolina who is running unopposed for reelection--even when he accidentally leaves a wholesome family a dirty voicemail about rimjobs, he's got no fear of losing. Enter Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis), the local director of tourism who gets backed by an evil corporation in order to take Brady's seat. Though it pains me, I will politely refrain from telling you much more about where the story goes, because the jaw-droppingly horrible twists and turns are what make The Campaign so fun. But I will say this--you know that part in the trailer where Will Ferrell punches a baby? He punches something way worse than that later in the movie. Think of something worse to punch than a baby! ELINOR JONES Various Theaters. CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER Celeste and Jesse Forever is well underway before it becomes clear that it begins six months after the breakup of its titular characters, played by Rashida Jones (who co-wrote the screenplay) and Andy Samberg. After a succinct opening-credit montage of the rise and fall of their marriage (they married young, and she dumped him when her professional ambitions put too much distance between their lifestyles), we're shunted into Celeste and Jesse's world of impressively annoying inside jokes. They make heart shapes at each other with their hands by way of IRRESISTIBLE...CHARMING, PLAYFUL AND SLY... FRANK LANGELLA AT HIS MAGNIFICENT BEST. " - Kenneth Turan, LOS ANGELES TIMES " - Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE COWBOY BEBOP Cowboy Bebop is a beautifully drawn, brightly colored, candy-coated piece of shit. It's an R-rated action-adventure cartoon that somehow manages to be appallingly weak on action (it drags on with boring, pensive scenes in which the literally two-dimensional cartoon characters say boring, pensive things like, "Of the days I've lived, only the ones spent with you seem real") and completely absent of unquestionably the best thing about every R-rated movie ever made: sex. CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE Kiggins Theatre. THE MOST ENGAGING SLEEPER OF THE SUMMER. " " LANGELLA'S PERFORMANCE IS A REMINDER THAT GIANTS STILL FILL THE SCREEN. - Richard Corliss, TIME.COM " " - Leonard Maltin, REELZ.COM DO THE RIGHT THING See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. Hollywood Theatre. THE EVIL DEAD See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. Hollywood Theatre. HIT AND RUN Dax Shepard plays Charlie Bronson, a car-loving former bank robber (he got to pick his own new name after he wound up in the Witness Protection Program). At the film's outset, Charlie's been tracked down by the gang he betrayed, and he's suddenly tasked with avoiding his vengeance-set former friends while getting his girlfriend-- played by Kristen Bell--to LA for a job interview. And of course, there's a catch: Bell's character is largely clueless about Charlie's criminal past. In cheerfully splicing together crude humor, romcom smushiness, and old-school car chases, Hit and Run gets smart, surprisingly sophisticated results. ALISON HALLETT Various Theaters. FRANK LANGELLA JAMES MARSDEN LIV TYLER and SUSAN SARANDON HOPE SPRINGS A creaky old couple (Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones) decide to undergo a week of counseling with a renowned therapist (Steve Carrell). Your mom is going to love this thing. Various Theaters. THE IMPOSTER The Imposter is one of those too-strange-to-be-true tales that's like manna for documentarians. In the early 1990s, STARTS FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 FACEBOOK.COM/ROBOTANDFRANK REGAL FOX TOWER STADIUM 10 846 SW Park Avenue, Portland (800) FANDANGO MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. THEATER LOCATIONS ARE ACCURATE FRIDAY AUGUST 31-THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 6, UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED. FILM TIMES AND SHORTS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AT PORTLANDMERCURY.COM. TWITTER.COM/ROBOTANDFRANK 4.75" X 7" THUR 8/30 August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 39 PORTLAND MERCURY " ffff! Here's something fresh�the coming-of-funny film." �Joshua Rothkopf, TIME OUT NEW YORK -Lisa Schwarzbaum, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY " GRADE: A - A charming oddball comedy." A FUNNY AND INSIGHTFUL MOVIE. " I could have watched it for ten hours. FILM SHORTS REAR WINDOW " -Judd Apatow From the producers of This American Life sleepwalk with me A FILM BY MIKE BIRBIGLIA Mike Birbiglia Lauren Ambrose EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, 8/31 CINEMA 21 THEATRE 616 NW 21ST AVENUE (503) 223-4515 PORTLAND Portland Mercury Wednesday, 8/29 2col(4.75)x3.5 portlandmercury.com Portland Mercury's Cocktail Compass The New I, Anonymous Blog Read a Rant! Post a Rant! 13-year-old Nicholas Barclay disappeared from his Texas home, only to turn up four years later in Madrid. Or so his family thought. Or so they maybe thought. Because the "kid" in Spain claiming to be Nicholas Barclay was really 23-yearold con artist Fr�d�ric Bourdin, who just happened into the right story, a US passport, and a seemingly new identity. Fr�d�ric's tale has enough salacious pulp that it remains interesting despite director Bart Layton's heavy-handed filmmaking. Layton overdoes it with the reenactments, staging whole scenes and getting clever with the way he syncs Bourdin's real narration with the teenage actor playing him in flashbacks--to such a degree I started to fear that maybe I was getting conned, too. JAMIE S. RICH Hollywood Theatre, Living Room Theaters. Premium Rush is one of the stupidest movies ever, which is to say it's both remarkably silly and surprisingly fun. A thriller set in the exhilarating world of... uh... bike couriering, it stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt--the guy your girlfriend likes more than she likes you--as Wilee, a character whose name is (A) pronounced like the coyote's, and (B) nearly as dumb as the phrase "premium rush." Bike courier Wilee, like most people with fixies, never shuts the fuck up about his fixie, and he also says things like "Brakes are death!" and "Runnin' reds, killin' peds." He'd be insufferable if JoGoLev, who is way more handsome and likeable than you, didn't play him. ERIK HENRIKSEN Various Theaters. KILLER JOE See review this issue. Fox Tower 10. KILLING ME The premiere of a dark comedy shot in Eugene, Salem, and Portland. Admission includes a copy of the film on DVD. Laurelhurst Theater. LAWLESS See review this issue. Various Theaters. MAGIC MIKE Steven Soderbergh makes the movies he wants to make, and apparently this time around he really wanted to make a movie that prominently features Matthew McConaughey's glistening abs and Channing Tatum hopping around shirtless while wearing a little hat. But Magic Mike is more than just a straight-to-screen Chippendales revue: Soderbergh is interested in all aspects of his characters' work, and the strip club behind-the-scenes are some of the film's most entertaining, as the dancers sew their own thongs, shave their legs, and swap theories about "Waffle House pussy" while drinking home-brewed Viagra. It's almost a shame that Magic Mike has to have a plot at all, and the half-hour of story shoehorned in at the end is about what you'd expect from a movie about Florida strippers: drugs, weird sex, a baby pig eating vomit off the floor of a fancy apartment. ALISON HALLETT Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Liberty Theatre. MOONRISE KINGDOM Wes Anderson, god bless him, just keeps making Wes Anderson movies. As expected, Moonrise Kingdom is mannered, precious, nostalgic, and twee--and it's also about as good a movie about childhood as an adult is capable of making. ALISON HALLETT Cinemagic, Fox Tower 10, Liberty Theatre, Roseway Theater, St. Johns Twin Cinemas. THE QUEEN OF VERSAILLES Documentarian Lauren Greenfield got career-definingly lucky with The Queen of Versailles. When she began making a movie about the construction of the largest house in America--a 90,000-square-foot monstrosity designed by time-share mogul David Siegel and his wife Jackie-- Greenfield inadvertently secured herself a front-row seat to the Siegels' plunge from mindless excess to fiscal uncertainty when the financial crisis wiped out most of David's assets. As head of the world's most successful time-share operation, David made his fortune selling poor people the illusion of wealth, two weeks a year at a time. As his son puts it, "Everyone wants to be rich. If they can't be rich, the next best thing is to feel rich." And the third best thing is to watch tacky rich people lose all their money and have to put their kids in public school. ALISON HALLETT Kiggins Theatre. REAR WINDOW See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 11. Hollywood Theatre. ROBOT AND FRANK See review this issue. Fox Tower 10. SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED Until the dark day of I Can Has Cheezburger: The Movie!, Safety Not Guaranteed will stand--as far as I can tell--as the only motion picture inspired by an internet meme. While its origins make Safety Not Guaranteed sound slight and disposable--a few steps above Battleship in Hollywood's "Oh shit, what else can we turn into a movie?!" descent--the difference is that Safety Not Guaranteed is both staunchly independent and very, very good. Sweet and clever, it's a film that transcends its roots to become--and I know we're only halfway through 2012, but fuck it--one of the best films of the year. ERIK HENRIKSEN Academy Theater, Edgefield, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater. SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD Bryan Lee O'Malley's comic book series is a fantastic epic: an earnest, heady, hilarious mashup of comics, videogames, and music, with doses of the confusion, enthusiasm, and melancholy that're embedded in the DNA of every twentysomething. The good news: The movie version, directed by Edgar Wright, lives up to expectations. The better news: Wright's film also does a few things nobody could've predicted. From its opening moments--when a Universal logo rendered in NES-era pixels appears--it's clear there hasn't been a movie like this before. Thanks to Scott Pilgrim, the lines between film, comics, pop music, and videogames have been blurred--in all of the best ways. ERIK HENRIKSEN Kiggins Theatre. SLEEPWALK WITH ME See review this issue. Cinema 21. THE STORY OF FILM: AN ODYSSEY Mark Cousins' amazing 15-hour survey of cinema history aims to draw a clear chronology from the invention of rolled film and projection to the onset of 21st-century digital cinema whilst exploring everything in between. In doing so, Cousins circles the globe in search of films and filmmakers who never got their dues. JAM I E S. R ICH Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium . It's like a GPS-- for your liver. Now for both iPhone and Android! OSLO, AUGUST 31ST See review this issue. Living Room Theaters. PARANORMAN Stop me if you've heard this one before: There's this little kid, and he can see dead people. Now, I know what you're thinking: "This kid, he's probably well adjusted and super popular with his peers, am I right? A hit with all the ladies?" No! Believe it or not, he's kind of an outcast! A social pariah, even! Okay, now I don't want to spoil anything, but the twist? This social handicap of his might turn out to save the day. Sounds crazy, right? I know, but it's true! That, unfortunately, is the recycling-bin plot the talented animators at LAIKA have saddled themselves with on ParaNorman. It doesn't get any better in the telling, and probably gets worse, which is a shame, because the animation is so finely crafted and obviously painstaking that not loving it makes you feel like a real poopface. VINCE MANCINI Various Theaters. THE POSSESSION What's this? Another crappy horror flick that wasn't screened for critics? Why, I never.... Various Theaters. PREMIUM RUSH A film based on the wet dreams of bike couriers everywhere, MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. THEATER LOCATIONS ARE ACCURATE FRIDAY AUGUST 31-THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 6, UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED. FILM TIMES AND SHORTS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AT PORTLANDMERCURY.COM. 40 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 MOVIE TIMES COMMERCIAL LISTINGS ARE GOOD FRIDAY- THURSDAY, AUGUST 31-SEPTEMBER 6 UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED. Northeast Hollywood Theatre 4122 NE Sandy, 281-4215 B-Movie Bingo Tues 7:30 Beasts of the Southern Wild Fri 7:15, 9:15; Sat-Sun 2:30, 4:30, 7:15, 9:15; Mon 7:15, 9:15; Tues 7:15; WedThurs 7:15, 9:15 The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Fri 6:45; Sat-Sun 2:15, 6:45; Mon-Thurs 6:45 Breaking Bad Sun 10 pm Do the Right Thing Fri-Thurs 7 The Evil Dead Fri-Thurs 9:30 The Imposter Fri 9:20; Sat-Sun 4:45, 9:20; Mon-Thurs 9:20 Rear Window Sat-Sun 2 Writing Myself Wed 7:30 PORTLANDMERCURY.COM MOVIE TIMES ARE UPDATED DAILY AT Downtown Fox Tower 10 7:30, 9:30 846 SW Park, 800-326-3264 2016: Obama's America Fri-Thurs (12:25, 2:55), 5:10, The Bourne Legacy Fri-Thurs (12, 2:45), 5:30, 8:15 Celeste and Jesse Forever Fri-Thurs (12:40, 2:50), 5, 7:45, 9:50 Kennedy School 5736 NE 33rd, 249-7474 Cosmopolis Fri-Thurs (12, 2:20), 4:40, 7:10, 9:35 Hope Springs Fri-Tues (12:15, 2:25), 4:50, 7:05, 9:25; Wed 4:50, 7:05, 9:25; Thurs (12:15, 2:25), 4:50, 7:05, 9:25 Killer Joe Fri-Thurs (12:05, 2:20), 5:05, 7:40, 9:55 Lawless Fri-Thurs (12, 2:25), 4:50, 7:15, 9:40 Moonrise Kingdom Fri-Thurs (12:35, 2:40), 4:45, 7:35, 9:35 Robot and Frank Fri-Thurs (12:10, 2:30), 4:55, 7:20, 9:20 Searching for Sugar Man Fri-Tues (12:20, 2:35), 4:30, 7, 9:30; Wed (12:20, 2:35), 4:30, 9:30; Thurs (12:20, 2:35), 4:30, 7, 9:30 The Amazing Spider-Man Fri-Mon 2 Madagascar 3 Fri-Mon 5:30; Wed-Thurs 5:30 Magic Mike Fri-Mon 9:50; Wed-Thurs 9:50 Ted Fri-Mon 7:35; Wed-Thurs 7:35 Your Sister's Sister Tues-Thurs 2:30 Laurelhurst Theater 2735 E Burnside, 232-5511 LAWLESS Ted Fri-Thurs 6:45, 9:10 To Rome With Love Fri-Thurs 2:05, 7:15 Lawless Fri-Wed (11:30 am, 2:10, 4:50), 7:30, 10:10 The Odd Life of Timothy Green Fri-Wed (11:10 am, 1:50, 4:25), 7:05, 9:35 Hotel Modera 515 SW Clay The 10th Victim Thurs 7 Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th, 971-222-2005 2 Days in New York Fri-Tues 12, 2:40, 5:20, 7:40; Wed 12, 2:40, 5:05; Thurs 12, 2:40, 5:20, 7:40 360 Fri-Thurs 2:30, 6:45 Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry Fri-Thurs 12:30, 5, 9:10 Beasts of the Southern Wild Fri-Thurs 12:10, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:40 The Imposter Fri-Thurs 11:50, 2:10, 7, 9:50 Oslo, August 31st Fri-Thurs 12:20, 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:30 Premium Rush Fri-Thurs 11:40, 1:50, 3:50, 4:50, 6:10, 8:15, 9:20, 10:10 The Amazing Spider-Man Fri-Sat 3:50, 9:30; Sun-Mon 1, 3:50, 9:30; Tues-Thurs 9:30 Batman Sat 1:30 Boyz N the Hood Fri-Thurs 9:05 The Cabin in the Woods Fri-Thurs 9:45 Killing Me Sat 5 Madagascar 3 Sat-Sun 1:40 Magic Mike Fri 4:20, 6:45; Sat 6:45; Sun-Mon 4:20, 6:45; Tues-Thurs 6:45 Prometheus Fri-Mon 4, 9:15; Tues-Thurs 9:15 Safety Not Guaranteed Fri 7:15; Sat-Mon 1:50, 7:15; Tues-Thurs 7:15 Ted Fri-Mon 4:30, 7:30; Tues-Thurs 7:30 To Rome With Love Fri 7; Sat-Mon 1:15, 7; Tues-Thurs 7 Avalon 3451 SE Belmont, 238-1617 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure FriWed (11:10 am, 1:30, 3:55) ParaNorman Fri-Wed (11:55 am, 4:55), 9:50 ParaNorman 3D Fri-Wed (2:25), 7:25 The Possession Fri-Wed (12:30, 3, 5:30), 8, 10:30 Premium Rush Fri-Wed (12:20, 2:40, 5:10), 7:40, 10:35 Total Recall Fri-Wed 7:15, 10:05 The Amazing Spider-Man Fri-Mon 11:15 am, 1:45, 4:15, 7; Tues-Thurs 1:45, 4:15, 7 Madagascar 3 Fri-Thurs 12:15, 2, 6 Prometheus Fri-Thurs 9:30 Snow White and the Huntsman Fri-Thurs 3:45 Ted Fri-Thurs 7:45, 9:40 Bagdad Theater City Center 12 801 C Street, Vancouver, 800-326-3264 3702 SE Hawthorne, 225-5555 Lloyd Center 10 Cinema 1510 NE Multnomah, 800-326-3264 Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension Sat Noon Madagascar 3 Fri-Sat 5:15; Sun 2, 6; Mon-Thurs 6 Ted Fri 7:30; Sat 7:30, 10; Sun-Thurs 8:20 The Bourne Legacy Fri-Thurs (12:10, 3:30), 6:40, 9:50 The Campaign Fri-Thurs (12:20, 2:45), 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 Cinemagic 2021 SE Hawthorne, 231-7919 Celeste and Jesse Forever Fri-Thurs (11:55 am, 2:35), 5:05, 7:40, 10:10 The Dark Knight Rises IMAX Fri-Thurs 12:25, 4:10, 7:55 Moonrise Kingdom Fri-Sat 5:30, 7:35, 9:40; Sun 3:25, 5:30, 7:35, 9:40; Mon 3:25, 5:30, 7:35; Tues-Thurs 5:30, 7:35 Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium 1219 SW Park, 221-1156 The Dark Knight Rises Fri-Thurs (1:15), 5:10, 9 The Expendables 2 Fri-Tues 11:45 am, (2:20), 4:55, 7:30, 10:05; Wed 11:45 am, (2:20), 10:05; Thurs 11:45 am, (2:20), 4:55, 7:30, 10:05 Lawless Fri-Thurs (12:35, 3:55), 7, 10 ParaNorman Fri-Thurs (2:15), 4:40, 9:40 ParaNorman 3D Fri-Thurs (11:50 am), 7:15 The Possession Fri-Thurs (12, 2:25), 4:45, 7:05, 9:30 Premium Rush Fri-Thurs (12:15, 2:40), 5, 7:25, 9:55 Milwaukie Cinemas 11011 SE Main, 653-2222 Charisma Wed 7 The Story of Film: An Odyssey Fri 7; Sun 7 Suzaki Paradise: Red Lights Sat 7 The Amazing Spider-Man 3D Fri-Thurs (1:50), 7 The Amazing Spider-Man Fri-Thurs (2:50) The Avengers 3D Fri-Mon (11:10 am, 4:20); Tues-Thurs (4:20) Madagascar 3 Fri-Mon (11:10 am, 1), 7:10; Tues-Thurs (1), 7:10 Northwest Cinema 21 616 NW 21st, 223-4515 Lloyd Mall 8 Prometheus 3D Fri-Thurs 9:30 Ted Fri-Thurs (5:15), 9 15 Lloyd Center, 800-326-3264 Mt. Scott Park 5530 SE 72nd Sleepwalk With Me Fri 4:45, 7, 9, 10:45; Sat 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9, 10:45; Sun-Mon 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9; Tues-Thurs 4:45, 7, 9 Mission Theater 9:40 The Avengers Fri-Thurs 6:35 Brave Fri-Thurs (12:05, 3:10) The Expendables 2 Fri-Thurs (12:20, 3:20), 6:20, 9 Hit and Run Fri-Thurs (12:15, 3:25), 6:25, 8:45 Hope Springs Fri-Thurs (12:25, 3:35), 5:55, 8:30 The Odd Life of Timothy Green Fri-Thurs (12:30, 3:30), 6:30, 8:55 The Adventures of Tintin Fri Dusk (free) Tanker 4825 SE Hawthorne, 445-4634 Blue Velvet Sun Dusk (free) 1624 NW Glisan, 223-4527 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure Fri-Thurs 8:45 Neil Young Journeys Fri-Tues 9:40; Wed 10; Thurs Safety Not Guaranteed Fri-Tues 5:30; Thurs 5:30 Ted Fri 7:30; Sat-Sun 2:30, 7:30; Mon-Tues 7:30; Thurs 7:30 ParaNorman Fri-Thurs (12:10), 6:10 ParaNorman 3D Fri-Thurs (3:05), 8:50 Sparkle Fri-Thurs (12, 3), 6, 8:40 Total Recall Fri-Thurs (12:35, 3:15), 6:05 Elsewhere 99W Drive-In film) 3000 Portland Road, Newberg, 538-2738 2016: Obama's America Fri-Mon (11:50 am, 2:10), 4:30, 6:55, 9:20; Tues 11:50 am, 2:10, 4:30, 6:55, 9:20; Wed-Thurs (11:50 am, 2:10), 4:30, 6:55, 9:20 The Bourne Legacy Fri-Mon (11:35 am, 2:35), 6, 9; Tues 11:35 am, 2:35, 6, 9; Wed-Thurs (11:35 am, 2:35), 6, 9 The Campaign Fri-Mon (12:20, 2:30), 4:40; Tues 12:20, 2:30, 4:40; Wed-Thurs (12:20, 2:30), 4:40 Celeste and Jesse Forever Fri-Mon (11:40 am, 2:15), 4:35, 6:50, 9:10; Tues 11:40 am, 2:15, 4:35, 6:50, 9:10; Wed-Thurs (11:40 am, 2:15), 4:35, 6:50, 9:10 The Dark Knight Rises Fri-Thurs 7:05 The Expendables 2 Fri-Mon (12:05, 2:40), 6:25, 9:15; Tues 12:05, 2:40, 6:25, 9:15; Wed-Thurs (12:05, 2:40), 6:25, 9:15 Hit and Run Fri (12:25); Sat (12:25), 6:05, 8:50; Sun (12:25), 8:50; Mon (2:55), 8:50; Tues 2:55, 8:50; WedThurs (2:55), 8:50 Hope Springs Fri-Mon (11:30 am, 2), 4:35, 7, 9:25; Tues 11:30 am, 2, 4:35, 7, 9:25; Wed-Thurs (11:30 am, 2), 4:35, 7, 9:25 Lawless Fri-Mon (12:10, 3), 6:20, 8:55; Tues 12:10, 3, 6:20, 8:55; Wed-Thurs (12:10, 3), 6:20, 8:55 The Odd Life of Timothy Green Fri-Mon (12:15, 2:50), 6:10, 8:45; Tues 12:15, 2:50, 6:10, 8:45; Wed-Thurs (12:15, 2:50), 6:10, 8:45 ParaNorman Fri-Mon (11:55 am), 4:45, 9:25; Tues 11:55 am, 4:45, 9:25; Wed-Thurs (11:55 am), 4:45, 9:25 ParaNorman 3D Fri-Mon (2:15), 7:05; Tues 2:15, 7:05; Wed-Thurs (2:15), 7:05 The Possession Fri-Mon (12, 2:20), 4:40, 7, 9:20; Tues 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20; Wed-Thurs (12, 2:20), 4:40, 7, 9:20 Premium Rush Fri-Mon (11:45 am, 2:05), 4:25, 6:45, 9:05; Tues 11:45 am, 2:05, 4:25, 6:45, 9:05; Wed-Thurs (11:45 am, 2:05), 4:25, 6:45, 9:05 Joy Cinema & Pub Tues-Thurs 4, 7 11959 SW Pacific Hwy, Tigard, 653-9999 North Dawson Park N Stanton & Vancouver Roseway Theater 7229 NE Sandy, 282-2898 ParaNorman Fri-Sun Double feature (starts at dusk) The Campaign Fri-Sun Double feature (starts after first The Amazing Spider-Man Fri 4, 7; Sat-Mon 1:30, 4, 7; Madagascar 3 Mon 11:30 am Prometheus Fri-Thurs 9:30 Moonrise Kingdom Fri-Thurs 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8 Wellington Park NE 66th & Mason Century Clackamas Town Center 12000 SE 82nd, 800-326-3264 Kiggins Theatre Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory Fri Dusk (free) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II Sat Dusk (free) 2016: Obama's America Fri-Wed (11:25 am, 2, 4:35), 7:10, 9:40 1011 Main, Vancouver, 360-737-3161 Mississippi Studios 3939 N Mississippi, 288-3895 The Apparition Fri-Wed (11:20 am, 1:35, 3:50), 6:05, 8:20, 10:35 Cowboy Bebop Fri-Sun 11:59 pm The Queen of Versailles Fri-Sat 12, 2, 4, 6, 8; Sun 2, 4, 6; Mon-Thurs 12, 2, 4, 6, 8 CineBitch Mon 7 St. Johns Theater and Pub 8203 N Ivanhoe, 225-5555 Academy Theater 7818 SE Stark, 252-0500 Southeast The Avengers 3D Fri-Wed (3:40), 10:15 The Avengers Fri-Wed (12:25), 7 The Bourne Legacy Fri-Wed (12:55, 4:05), 6:15, 7:15, 9:25, 10:20 Brave Fri-Wed (11:35 am, 4:40), 9:55 Brave 3D Fri-Wed (2:05), 7:20 The Campaign Fri-Wed (12:10, 2:45, 5:25), 7:55, 10:25 Celeste and Jesse Forever Fri-Wed (12:15, 2:45, 5:10), 7:35, 10 The Dark Knight Rises Fri-Wed (12, 3:30), 7, 10 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days Fri-Wed (11:50 am, 2:20, 4:45) The Expendables 2 Fri-Wed (11:40 am, 1:05, 2:25, 3:45, 5:05), 6:25, 7:50, 9:05, 10:30 Hit and Run Fri-Wed (11:55 am, 2:30, 5:05), 7:45, 10:15 Hope Springs Fri-Wed (11:45 am, 2:15, 5), 7:35, 10:10 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Fri-Sun 10 pm Madagascar 3 Sun 6; Mon 1, 6; Tues 6; Thurs 6 Prometheus Sun 8:20; Mon 1, 8:20; Tues 8:20; Thurs 8:20 The Amazing Spider-Man Fri-Tues 11, 4:15, 7; WedThurs 4:15, 7 St. Johns Twin Cinemas 8704 N Lombard, 286-1768 Breaking Bad Sun 10:40 pm Madagascar 3 Fri-Tues 12:30, 2:35, 4:40; Wed-Thurs 2:35, 4:40 Moonrise Kingdom Fri 6:20, 8:30; Sat-Mon 2, 4:10, 6:20, 8:30; Tues-Thurs 6:20, 8:30 ParaNorman Fri 6:40, 8:50; Sat-Mon 2:20, 4:30, 6:40, 8:50; Tues-Thurs 6:40, 8:50 Prometheus Fri-Sat 1:45, 9:50; Sun 1:45; Mon-Thurs 1:45, 9:50 Safety Not Guaranteed Fri-Tues 12:10, 9:40; WedThurs 9:40 Snow White and the Huntsman Fri-Thurs 4:30 August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 41 I SAW U MEWING IN THE NIGHT You said you liked to walk at night but not alone. I like to walk too but not without you. Now we are singing in the rain, singing in the RAIN! Where are you going now? Please one more. ANUSHERWUN! When: Monday, August 27, 2012. Where: walking at night NoPo. You: Transsexual (male to female). Me: Man. #915102 SUMMER GIRL 7 in the morning, on the bus. You were a pedestrian angle, green gym bag and chuck's. I never got the courage to say hi. I would always listen to music. I hope to see you on the bus again. When: Thursday, August 16, 2012. Where: on the bus to PCC. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915087 BAR OF THE GODS THURSDAY Girls 4 Boys COFFEE, TEA, OR ME My friends describe me as witty, quirky, and laid back. I like roller derby, running, and the outdoors. I am looking for a guy who is kind, honest, and has a sense of humor. essara, 33 ALEX-RED PANTS FROM GAYCATION You had brown hair and black framed glasses. We kept making eyes at each other. You waved at me and I was too shy to wave back! Would you like to get a drink sometime and actually talk? -Lily When: Thursday, August 16, 2012. Where: Bar of the Gods, Hawthorne. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915075 READY FOR A SUMMER CRUSH! I'm a funny, sweet, attractive lady. I didn't think I would end up here, but I did. That's just the way life works. I'm ready to meet an attractive fun person. Hopefully have an adventure! coco le fleur, 30 DOM JUAN THE AWKWARD GIANT HIGH DIVE PATIO, SUN NIGHT 11:45pm Sunday - I walked by twice. You were sitting, then standing at bus table. Me: slim white guy, black longsleeve tshirt, jeans, bag, brown hair side-parted. You: slender woman, straight dark hair, cute. Eye contact only. But still... When: Sunday, August 26, 2012. Where: High Dive patio, SE 12th & Madison. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915099 We danced. i said i was going to a bar. you said you might come by... Bar was closed. oops. should have got you number. i liked you. When: Saturday, August 18, 2012. Where: Holocene. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915085 BLONDE EYEBROWS AND CHACOS EMPATHIC ANALYTIC DANCER BEAUTIFUL SWIM COACH CAPOEIRA IJEXA AT CRUSH you: giving swim lessons at the dish, looking as hot and gorgeously sporty as ever. me: pretending to play it cool, but really awkwardly stealing glances at you constantly. i dont want to pretend anymore with you... When: Monday, August 13, 2012. Where: mdcc. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915084 You just moved from Chicago, going to law school at L+C. You have awesome blonde eyebrows and wearing Chacos. Me in all black. I biked by you later and told you to have a good night. Should've gotten your number. When: Sunday, July 8, 2012. Where: West End. You: Man. Me: Man. #915074 I want to swim, dance and travel. I am intelligent, creative, fit and good at lots of things. I want a partner with similar interests, who is vulnerable and self-aware, passionate and playful, loyal and responsible. fireflies333, 33 FUNNY, LOUD, CHARMING, BRAWLER, INTELLIGENT. Anyone interested in joining in a Justice Alliance with me to talk about the world, save mankind, and leap whole pub quizzes in a single bound, please inquire within. You don't have to be poly, but it helps. I am. BonzotheFifth, 33 EVERYDAY IS AN EXISTENTIAL ADVENTURE. GOLDILOCKS GEEK CHASER im not your average girl. big feet. big hands. big personality. i want a man that can handle that. i feel like i have friends, but not anyone who "knows" me. i NEED deep, stimulating conversation. god where is that..? wickedkitty, 26 I'm a bit of a nerd, but I wouldn't consider it defining. I love to read. I often think abstractly. I like socializing over drinks. I'm a playful individual, and am down for many different types of adventure. HappinessIsAWarmGun, 26 CHRISTA ON SOUTH SISTER'S SUMMIT You were performing and we made eye contact a couple times. I had to leave before I could talk to you. I would've stayed all night just to hear your voice. I can't wait to see you perform again. When: Saturday, August 25, 2012. Where: Crush Brazil Night. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915098 I AM THE F'N BAND Such an amazing and beautiful experience...I want one more chance to say goodbye ...or hello... Chris A When: Saturday, August 11, 2012. Where: Summit of South Sister. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915073 I am a queer who is open to all genders and sexual orientations. I love bears and chubby furry types but my interests vary. Please be: queer friendly, body positive and generally not an asshat. freak2geek, 35 LEARNING EVERY DAY we met briefly at the alberta street fair, me in my lovely blue volunteer shirt, asking you if you were with the band. indeed, you were the f**king band. sweet show. coffee sometime? When: Saturday, August 11, 2012. Where: alberta street fair. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915061 FRIENDLY, TALL, AND SHY I think life is awesome and want to meet new people to have fun with around town. I'm a genuine, friendly, and hard-working lady who values a good talk over an even better cocktail. Let's see where this can go! RainOrShine, 27 ARE UREADY FORA SUMMER CRUSH? Attractive 42 yo 6,��6,�� Brown hair green eyes . Professionally employed & live in SW PDX. I have a job car, bike & a life . August is missing the smiles & laughter of what a summer crush will bring. pdxsingle, 44 GIRL WALKING DOG AROUND AINSWORTH.. BREATHTAKING BEAUTY AT WHOLE FOODS You were cashiering at the Whole Foods on Fremont. Longish blonde hair and bangs and beautiful smile. I was only there for a few minutes but it was long enough for me to appreciate how you took my breath away. When: Saturday, August 25, 2012. Where: Whole Foods Fremont. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915097 CONNECTICUT SHANNON TABOR DOGPARK Shannon I met you at the Mt tabor dog park. You just moved to town. Give me a call sometime:) When: Monday, August 13, 2012. Where: Mt tabor dog park. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915082 Tuesday morning 11:30-ish, you (blonde w/bangs) came down the street w/the dog you were walking. I was getting back into my car when my dog ran up to you.. We didn't really talk much, but you were super cute.. When: Tuesday, August 14, 2012. Where: Near Ainsworth and 15th?. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915072 I'm 19, and single. I lived in the Portland area all my life. Just moved to downtown about a year ago. I never dated before and I'm Looking for a super sweet and cute man to be with. pearllover, 19 EAT, MOVE, DRINK, LAUGH, REPEAT. I AM LOOKING FOR YOU! THE SWEETEST THINGS. I am a very sweet, caring, optimistic, and helpful person. I like being there for people. I cherish everyone around me. I love adventures and being outdoors and doing somehting new. Life life to the fullest. Starr_Shine, 22 Howdy. I'm confident, genuine, and a wee bit sarcastic. My life is quite awesome, and I'm looking for someone to add to the fun. Meeting people is initially scary to me, but I get over myself fast. insertmynamehere, 25 Haii. My name is JOn I can garentee I will forget your name at least once in the 1st week, but I will remember exactly how you made me feel. jonpad01, 27 SHARP AND LOOKING FOR SAME Boys 4 Girls VACATION/BIRTHDAY SEPT 6-10 ME: Former PSU student looking for company/good time at MusicfestNW shows and in room at Paramount Hotel . Athletic, funny, eager, open-minded looking to make 23rd birthday a weekend to remember... YOU: Sexy, funny, willing, adventurous, has photo, not psycho. OCVacationer, 22 Twenty-nine, finishing grad school, owner of tremendous dog. I dig books, music, and the outdoors. I also dig coffee, red ales, and the outdoors. bc318, 29 EASTSIDE VOODOO DONUTS CASHIER GIRL CHILL, TAT-LESS, BEARDLESS, OREGON GROWN TOM AT MATTACHINE, MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS SCRAP! You saw me and lingered for a bit. You scrapping drawing supplies, and made your way over to the register when I was paying. I was trying to think of something cheeky to say. Lets do something crafty? When: Friday, August 24, 2012. Where: scrap. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915096 Hey, sorry I cut our walk short. I actually did want to sit with you on the Failing St. pedestrian bridge; stay away from that scene. I wasn't quite in the right head space that night. Let's try again sometime. When: Friday, August 10, 2012. Where: Mississippi Studios. You: Man. Me: Man. #915057 I went in for a donut and you were wearing a black and white tank-top and black shorts. You are a striking woman, indeed. I had to say thank you for the donut and smile... you made my day! When: Wednesday, August 15, 2012. Where: Eastside Voodoo Donuts. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915069 BIG KOOKIE LADY WANTS FRIEND. Smart, nice, funny Tolkien fan seeks someone who reads & thinks & feels. Someone who wants to play board games or catch a show. Have an opinion about original Trek vrs. TNG? This might be you. (Batting my eyes.). lalalanilu, 39 Exploring wilderness, rafting, fishing, backpacking, playing music and making sweet love are things that never get old to me. I'm looking for a special girl that is looking for a loving, generous, sex positive, honest, man who is too lonesome. Towhee4u, 29 SCHEA @ SAFEWAY ON HAWTHORNE SCIENTIFIC ROMANCE, PLASTIC AND CLEAN CAJUN LOST N PORTLAND DREADY GODDESS AT CROWN ROOM TEA CHAI TE 23 adorable girl with beautiful almond eyes and planet tattoo,��s running down back. I asked you a question, tho not the right one. single? tea sometime? When: Thursday, August 23, 2012. Where: Tea Chai Te. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915094 Talking, dancing with you Friday. Me: dark hair, full-sleeve tattoos including Eye of Ra on wrist, plaid button-up. You: gorgeous dreads, shoulder tattoo of chrysanthemum done by Daniel. Wish I'd gotten your number.. you were supposed to do my astrology! When: Friday, August 17, 2012. Where: Crown Room. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915080 I came late to shop, and asked how you pronounce your name. You said your parents were trying to be original. I said it was better than having a common name like Chris (mine). Your smile is beautiful. Talk again? When: Tuesday, August 14, 2012. Where: Hawthorne Safeway. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915068 SO GLAD TO BE HERE! I'm returning to Portland in midSeptember to begin the next chapter in my life. I am excited because I love change and meeting new people. I'm always looking to learn new things. Teach me, and I'll make you food! copper87, 24 If you have a sick sense of humor and are kind of a perv, I am incredibly fun to be around, because I'm the same and I do it well. fresh_produce, 31 HOLA, COMO ESTAS? Honest and to the point and u can always count on me. Im looking for a different kind of girl. Someone who can play hard but knows when the party is over.A real women who loves a real man. CajunLostInPortland, 36 KIND OF A BIG DEAL WE TOURED YOUR APARTMENT JOE THE MESSENGER GUY! Hey cute bicycle messenger guy at Jones bar last Saturday, I really did like your dance moves! You biked away before i could work up the courage to give you my number. bike ride together? When: Saturday, August 18, 2012. Where: Jones Bar. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915093 COUPLE AT ALBERTA STREET SIP i'm sorry i mentioned that you cut in front of me. i should have gone with the flow instead. it was wrong of me to make you feel awkward when it was really me who felt that way. take care. When: Saturday, August 18, 2012. Where: sip cart NE. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #915079 You were visibly upset with the landlady when we came to see the apartment. You whispered `she's crazy' to me as we left. Thanks for the tip, she is. Can I buy you a drink? When: Sunday, August 12, 2012. Where: SE at your place.. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915067 Just lookin for a good one (honest, kind, funny) to have fun with! I'm into the usual Portland pastimes--cocktails, coffee, culture...and whatever else is thought-provoking or life-enriching. missoptimism, 33 I'm a chill, creative, dude who loves to laugh and connect to people with the same sensibilities. I'm hoping to find a really cool girl who wants to maybe artjam and/or be my muse. No expectations, just quantum entanglement. MrTebes, 28 EASY GOING AND FRIENDLY GUY! DRIVEN, PASSIONATE, CHILL INTENSITY I love science fiction and fantasy books, science, fitness, school and my career, and I'm looking for someone who is interested in science and wants to work out with me and go out on the town! Salochin, 22 Hey! I'm a 21 year old University Student studying New Media Design. I'm really nice and I love meeting new people and trying anything out. I'm looking for a cool girl to just hangout, go for drinks, dinner, pho, whatever! nostalgiaboy, 21 PARDON THE CHARM... 36 SINGLE EURASIAN ST. JOHN'S BANK OF AMERICA You're a teller with an slight eastern European(?) accent You said I look like a movie star. I should have asked you out then but didn't want to embarrass you at work. Coffee? Drinks? Jello wrestling? When: Tuesday, August 14, 2012. Where: St. John's Bank of America. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915066 I'm looking for something real. i'm a laid back girly girl who loves to laugh and can charm your pants off in a g-rated way lol. If you like an honest fun and caring girl, hit me up. suchalivelything, 27 A BODY IN MOTION... ...stays in motion. I am always doing something, though sometimes I seem to get nothing actually done. You- well, you tell me. You are amazing, and wonderful. Tell me your story, you know it far far better than I do. Woodsybear, 41 36 Single Male, "Eurasian", 6'0", brown eyes, black hair. ME: Easy Going, Gym, read, work, and looking for fun! You: Open for a little weekend adventure, Wanting to try something different and out of the ordinary! Discovery, 36 HAIR STYLIST IN THE PEARL Every time I bike past, see you working and you smile at me, my heart skips a beat... When: Wednesday, August 22, 2012. Where: the Pearl district. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915092 LAUREN OF THE PURPLE HAIR I'm looking at you right now. Hard to drag my eyes off you. That pale skin. That pouty expression. Do you even know what a knockout you are? I certainly do. When: Friday, August 17, 2012. Where: OTP Downtown. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915078 BACK IN THE PDX GROVE Moved back from a 4 year stint in Seattle and I'm happy as hell about it! Looking for someone to play with. I'm up for anything fun..movies, bars, hikes, rides, pinball, shows.... (FYI, scared of heights and puppets). Agatha, 38 Girls 4 Girls FUN SWANKY DOWN GIRL I'm a young lady. I like tea, yoga, dreadlocks, roses, vietnamese food, thriftstores, blues, beer, interesting ceramics, baby animals, riding horses, and much much more. I'm interested in meeting a special girl to share myself with and have crazy fun. HoneysilkTea, 20 DREAMY GIRL @ WASHOUGAL RIVER Friday afternoon (8/17) you and your friend were packing up to leave, I asked if I could take your spot. You were brunette w/black ball cap, and so ridiculously cute. That is all :) When: Friday, August 17, 2012. Where: washougal river. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915091 SLEATER-CARRIE You were shooting at Oba!; Monday 13th. I stumbled into gaffers. I was a walking a golden retriever; wearing light sportcoat (me not dog) head&facial scruff. I'm allergic to asparagus. Do you like tea or coffee or sweet potato fries? When: Monday, August 13, 2012. Where: Oba in the Pearl. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915065 LOVE IS JUST A BLOODSPORT. Hi. I could tell you about myself, but that would be cheating :) What im looking for is simple but hard. A cool chick with a great sense of humor and terrific chemistry. tuxedocat, 31 GLASS HALF FULL RED SKIRT WITH `NICE SHOES' 4PM BOLT BUS TO SEATTLE Me: Blonde, glasses, sleepy. In the front seat, sitting opposite you. You: Tattoos, glasses, dark hair cut just so. Single, hopefully. I wrote you a note between Tacoma and Seattle, but I lost my nerve on the crosswalk. When: Thursday, August 16, 2012. Where: 4pm Bolt Bus, bound for Seattle.. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915088 You were finishing your supper with a friend, I ordered out (sitting at bar). So many Thai restaurants;;; I wanted to try TUK TUK 4ever. Glad I did 2nite... I complemented you as you left. Wonder what flavor you got! When: Wednesday, August 15, 2012. Where: Tuk Tuk on Fremont, Wednesday. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915077 I'm a fun loving, happy, outgoing, and optimistic individual looking to meet new people. I'm down to have some more Portland adventures and you'll find out the rest when you meet me. cleste, 23 A LITTLE BIT OF ALOT SUPER CHILL SURFER VIBE hi I just moved to portland from this little island out in the carribean called St. Thomas. anyway im looking for some new peeps to chill with, not necessarily a Girlfreind but if it happens cool. give me a shout. VI_King, 20 SUPER LOLZ In town for a few months looking to get some drinks and try out different bars. Bring the lolz and I'll bring my dimples, a swell time can be had by all. Should probably have a sense of humor. candysays, 22 N. AINSWORTH WAVE ON BIKES! You were riding on N. Ainsworth. I was riding with my friend. We exchanged smiles, when I turned to give another glance, you waved. I should have whipped around for a proper hello. I hope we pass each other again! When: Friday, July 20, 2012. Where: N. Ainsworth just East of Interstate. You: Man. Me: Woman. #915064 I love to get out and have fun. Would love to find someone to share love and romance with, but also awesome new friends. Walking, sharing food and beverages. I love nature and plants! Serenewaters, 38 QUEER KISSING MAMA SANDY ON BELMONT AND 34TH You gave me your number on a Friday night 2 weeks ago and said that I should call you. I said I would, but lost it the next day. Any chance I could get your number again? When: Friday, August 3, 2012. Where: On the sidewalk. You: Woman. Me: Man. #915076 SWEET BAKER I don't normally do this whole online dating thing but I thought I would give it a try. I moved here from Michigan, 7 years ago. It's just me and my cats :). Littletina22, 35 NOT YOUR AVERAGE MONKEY I have a dog and two cats, I live alone and smoke, drink, cuss, and eat meat. I,m a little quirky, goofy, and shy, but I warm up quickly. Let's laugh and be silly together. GhettoMacGyver, 32 Values honest communication and assertive folks with kind hearts. I just recently fell out of the closet (& a marriage.) Now I'm looking for some sexy fun! I love chickens, making jam, and pulling weeds. Really. Must like kids. felloutofthecloset, 25 many more ads online! Simple To Respond! respond online with a membership Many more ads online! Memberships: 1 Day Pass $4.99 1 Week Pass $9.99 30 days Pass $19.99 Each Pass gives you all-access, unlimited searching, browsing, emailing, and responding. *WE ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AMEX, AND DISCOVER * www.mercurylovelab.com* 42 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 ITELEVISION by Wm.TM Steven Humphrey GUYS! So here's the deal (in regard to what's on TV this week): THURSDAY--The last day of the Republican National Convention . SNOOOOORRRRE! SUNDAY--Breaking Bad's mini-season finale. YAAAYYYYY! TUESDAY--The first day of the Democratic National Convention . SNOOOOORRRRE! And that's it. WAIT! One more... TUESDAY--That TLC reality show about conjoined twins. YAAAYYYYY! SNOOOOORRRRE! Ew. And that's it, for real. See, next week the new fall TV season starts in earnest, which will be super exciting, and you're gonna have to hook up seven DVRs just to record it all. But this week is as barren as Jennifer Aniston's baby-making bits. So if you ask me, this could be the perfect time for a... SELF-INDUCED COMA! Yes, yes, self-induced comas get a bad rap--but before you condemn it, answer a few simple questions: (1) Do you get enough sleep? NO, YOU DO NOT. (2) Do you return from vacations more tired than when you left? YES, YOU DO. (3) Do you have a naggy wife/husband or boyfriend/girlfriend or mom or dad or boss? YES, YOU DO. (4) Do you often wish you could use a colostomy bag or adult diaper instead of visiting the toilet? YES, YES, 1,000 TIMES, YES. Well, it sounds to me like you're the perfect candidate for a self-induced coma. Like any illegal medical procedure, there are pros and cons. PROS: Catch up on all the sleep you've missed for the past year. Alleviate boredom. Beats going to work. Avoid a fight with your spouse (after a week, they'll forget why they were mad in the first place). Lose weight. CONS: A potential colostomy bag explosion. What if your house burns down? If you accidentally don't wake up, people will tease you by calling you "Michael Jackson." I can't think of anything else. OH! One more big "con"! Evil surgeons may take you to a warehouse filled TM Happy Self-Induced Coma Week! ND ORTLA P L A GIN Y STYLE I R O ENCH FR LOW-COST BANKRUPTCY FREE CONSULTATION AC RE^ P ER I AU EST � 503.226.1258 R E A 6TH AR ND B A T RAN 503�224�4124 www.kellybrown.com Bankruptcy attorney since 1983 evening and weekend appointments JEREMY EATON .lehappy.com www with other coma victims and harvest your organs in the name of "scientific research" (but really they're just selling them on the black market). At least that's the plot of Robin Cook's 1977 novel Coma, which has been adapted into a two-part miniseries showing this week on A&E (Mon Sept 3� Tues Sept 4, 9 pm). Coma stars Six Feet Under's Lauren Ambrose as a young medical student who declares "Shenanigans!" after her hospital's patients begin slipping into comas at an alarming rate. After some snoopy Veronica Mars�style investigation, she discovers some of her most trusted medical mentors (including Geena Davis, James Woods, Richard Dreyfuss, and Ellen Burstyn--all of whom must've really needed the money) have concocted an eeeevil scheme to harvest the organs of comatose victims in order to finance their ever-inflating cocaine and prostitution bill. (At least that's why I'd do it.) This... is probably not a great movie. HOWEVER! It is a necessary reminder that self-induced comas have downsides, and that someone may screw around with you--if not by harvesting your organs, then by drawing a penis on your forehead with a Sharpie. OKAY! Ready for your coma? Let's start looking for an appropriate doctor who can put us under. I'll check Craigslist! We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy under the Bankruptcy Code. 520 SW Yamhill � Suite 420 � Portland 97204 This Week on Television 9:00 PBS REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION Tonight: Mitt Romney defends being a rich white guy with a stick up his ass. 10:30 FX LOUIE Louie's attempts to get on a late-night talk show go horribly (and hilariously) awry. THURSDAY, AUGUST 30 MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 10:00 AMC BREAKING BAD Mini-season finale! Part one of the two-part final season comes to a close with Walt making a dangerous (and extremely stupid) move. Happy Hour Specials Everyday Free Pool on Sundays � 92'' t.v � Total Sports Package Serving $2 breakfast from 7am-2pm & 10pm - 2am Kitchen hours (7am-2am) � Bar hours (7am-2:30am) FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 7:00 MTV THE HILLS MARATHON TEN FREAKING HOURS of MTV's greatest creation ever, The Hills. I'm buying two new DVRs for this one! 8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL The models pose as taxidermy. HAHAHAHAAAA! Perfect. 8:00 NBC STARS EARN STRIPES Season finale! The celebs are peeved to learn that their final war exercise will involve actual bullets. 9:00 A&E COMA--Movie (2012) A young doctor discovers her hospital is behind a creepy coma factory. All I want to know is... where do I sign up?!? TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 6:00 A&E HATFIELDS & McCOYS A repeat broadcast of the very popular three-part mini-series about the ultimate hillbilly haterz! Pew! Pew! Pew! 8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN Season finale, part one! Chef Gordon Ramsay chooses who will be America's next great chef, and who will be a "fucking donkey." 10:00 PBS DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION Job #1: Don't let Joe Biden say anything. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 7:00 ABC ABC'S PRIMETIME FALL PREVIEW SPECIAL Clips and previews for ABC's not-very-interesting lineup of new shows. GET EXCITED! 7:00 TLC HONEY BOO BOO MARATHON Catch up on all the episodes thus far of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. (Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.) Got coma-inducing experience? Tweet me! @WmSteveHumphrey August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 43 MON -T H Bankruptcy attorney UR 5P NOW M-M SE Kelly K. Brown 101 1 1 NW US AVE 5PM-1:30AM RI/ S AT T� F IGH COCKTAILS N ID ING RV things from another world and the portland mercury present: THE CORTANDFATBOY MIDNIGHT MOVIE: Tim Burton's BATMAN BAGDAD THEATER � 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland OR art by thethomaswilson.com September 7th � doors at 10pm, film at 11pm � $3 admission, 21 & over "Suck it, Proust. This book about stu is much be er than those things you wrote." -- GARY SHTEYNGART COMING 8.7.12 www.HowToBeAPerson.com 44 Portland Mercury August 30, 2012 SAVAGE LOVE Sleep with the Sharks by Dan Savage Not sure that even you can help with this one, but I'll give it a shot... My husband and I enjoy a solid, trusting BDSM relationship, and we're both quite happy with not only our sex lives but our lives together in general. There is one issue that concerns me. Roughly twice a month, in the middle of the night, my husband will "attack" me sexually in his sleep. I use the term "attack" lightly because the moment lasts for about 30 seconds, and generally I am able to ignore it and go back to sleep. However, there are times when I become frightened by these incidents and can't seem to "get over it" by morning. The attacks amount to my husband groping my breast painfully and aggressively, violently digitally penetrating me, attempting to penetrate me with his penis (vaginally or orally), and/or shoving me. He doesn't ejaculate or anything. He is completely unaware of what he is doing when he does it, and I have been able to wake him up (when I have been lucid enough) as it is happening (if it lasts that long). He does masturbate in his sleep every so often, and so I'm fi guring this is connected somehow. We have an active sex life, and he has assured me that he is not sexually dissatisfi ed, and I do believe him. I have spoken to him about these incidents, and even though I try to laugh them off to hide my fear, he feels terrible about what he's done. He is fully asleep when these incidents occur, so it's not as if he can do anything about them. I have stopped telling him when the incidents happen because I don't want him to feel so bad about something he can't control. I have tried seeking advice from other places, but I am usually told to "just ignore it" or "just enjoy it." I don't enjoy it. I can't ignore it. It hurts and it scares me. Is this a common problem? Is there even an answer? Am I being too sensitive? Scared of Stiffy "SOS's husband has semiregular sexsomnia, a subtype of sleepwalking," says Jesse Bering, a psychological scientist and a regular contributor to Scientifi c American and Slate, "and SOS is not being too sensitive." Bering devotes a chapter of his terrific new book--Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That? And Other Reflections on Being Human --to the phenomenon of sexsomnia. "Involuntary sexual `automatisms' occur within two hours of sleep onset, during nonREM sleep," says Bering. "In most cases, these are harmless enough--gyrating against a pillow, vacuous masturbation. But there are also more violent and worrisome automatisms, such as those making SOS so understandably uncomfortable. In fact, there have been several high-profi le rape and child-abuse cases involving sexsomnia." Luckily, there is an answer, SOS, something your husband can do about his problem. "The good news is that sexsomnia responds well to pharmaceuticals, so SOS's husband should fi nd a knowledgeable doctor who is willing to prescribe a low dose of one of the benzodiazepines (such as clonazepam) to take before bedtime," says Bering. But your husband is unlikely to get the help he needs if you continue to minimize the problem. Stop laughing these violent episodes off, SOS, and start telling him about every one. Explain to your husband that all this violent sleepfucking has left you feeling traumatized and that he has to see a doctor as soon as possible. Hearing that might make your husband feel terrible, SOS, but these episodes are making you feel terrible. I accidentally raped my boyfriend. What happened was I awoke to find my boyfriend rubbing up against me. After a little while, he pulled my hand, motioning for me to get on top of him to have sex, as he has done many times before. I obliged, and all was well, until he apparently woke up and pushed me off of him. I did not have any indication that he was asleep, since he was an active participant the entire time and was NOT lying there like a dead fi sh. In the morning, he expressed his displeasure about being woken up with sex. He said that he felt really violated. I apologized and explained my understanding of the situation. Now he says he feels really weird about what happened and he can't stomach me touching him. What should I do? Reeling After Problematic Intimate Sex Transgression You did not rape your boyfriend. You didn't ask me to weigh in on whether or not you raped your boyfriend, RAPIST, but I felt obligated to toss that out there. Your boyfriend may or may not be a sexsomniac-- this is just one incident--but he initiated routine (for you guys) sexual activity in his sleep, and you reciprocated. Once he woke up and you both realized what was going on, you immediately stopped. Mistakes were made, RAPIST, but no one was raped. As for what you should do, well, I think you should dump the guilttripping, blame-shifting motherJOE NEWTON fucker. But if you want to keep seeing this guy, RAPIST, you need a simple way to determine whether he's awake when he seems to be initiating sex in the middle of the night. Three hard slaps across the face might do the trick. Jesse Bering has a kinder, gentler suggestion. "RAPIST may fi nd herself feeling a bit gun-shy about any middle-of-the-night sex initiated by her boyfriend or any future boyfriends," he says. "How can she know if he's fully awake and innocently in the mood, or just having another episode? Here's how: She should have an agreement with her boyfriend that, from now on, he will `fl ick' his penis a few times for her by clenching his PC (pubococcygeus) muscle on initiating nocturnal sex." And how will that help? "Penile fl icking is an intentional action," explains Bering, and one that cannot be performed by a sleepfucking sexsomniac. "It's a subtle, conscious signal to assure you that you're not dealing with a lascivious zombie." You will no doubt get some flak for your response to the snowboarder who needs a finger up his ass in order to come. He stated that he is so ashamed of this practice that when he's fucking a girl and wants to come, he pushes the woman's face in a pillow to hide it . How could you let that little bit of mini-sadism pass without comment? I hope you will throw a comment in next week's column to acknowledge it. You are normally so thorough in your replies, Dan! Pillow Fight You're right, PF, I dropped the ball in that response. BUMMED wrote that he goes "to great lengths to hide" his need for prostate stimulation, adding that he will "push [a girl's] head in a pillow" when he fi ngers himself. And he was worried that the last girl he slept with must have seen him fi ngering himself--seen it and concluded he was gay--because she wasn't responding to his texts. A little addendum for BUMMED: That girl might not be returning your texts because she didn't appreciate having her face smashed into a pillow. Find the Savage Lovecast at thestranger.com/savage. email@example.com @fakedansavage on Twitter Visit us at www.taboovideo.com for m e specials and events or TABOOVIDEO .COM PORTLAND Open 24/7 2330 SE 82nd Ave 503-777-6033 PORTLAND BROADWAY 311 NW Broadway 503-227-3443 PORTLAND MLK Open 24/7 237 SE MLK Jr. Blvd 503-239-1678 VANCOUVER, WA Open 24/7 4811 NE 94th Ave 360-254-1126 August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 45 COUPONS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT: Find Your Perfect Match portlandmercury.com/personals Portland Salem 503.299.9911 FREE to listen & reply to ads! 503.689.8080 FREE CODE: Portland Mercury For other local numbers call: 1-888-MegaMatesTM 24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ �2012 PC LLC 2349 WHY WAIT � Hookup TONIGHT! 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I'll have two chocolate croissants and a large mocha--it's okay, I'm training for a marathon. Oh, don't mind those blood spots on my shirt, those are just my nipples. WE'RE TRAINING!!! Oh my god, it's hot in here. I gotta lose a layer. I can hang it up here, with these nice, dry jackets. I'm sure these non-training people in here won't mind a little sweat on their garments. Uh-oh, my armpits smell like hot garbage. I'd better go blend in with my loud, salty brethren. I feel sorry for all these people in here wasting their lives typing on their computers with annoyed looks on their faces. --Anonymous Submit your unsigned confessions and accusations of 300 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to "I, Anonymous," at firstname.lastname@example.org, or on the new I, Anonymous blog at portlandmercury.com. MAAKIES // TONY MILLIONAIRE Tony Millionaire's work is published by Dark Horse Comics and online at maakies.com Submit your photos & art online at flickr.com/groups/portlandmercury christie maclean IDIOT BOX // MATT BORS Matt Bors is a Portland-based political cartoonist; view his work at mattbors.com etats_eht August 30, 2012 Portland Mercury 47 The Portland Mercury BULLETIN BOARD online > > > www.portlandmercury.com/backpage (503) 294-0840 FREE Consultation. PAYMENT PLANS. Scott Hutchinson, Atty. Since 1997. Experienced Debt Relief Agency. CALL (503) 808-9032 www.Hutchinson-Law.com Quick Fix Synthetic Urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products & vaporizers. BANKRUPTCY - Stop Creditors GOT CHRONIC PAIN, MIGRAINES, NAUSEA, OR MUSCLE SPASMS? Medical marijuana can help. Call us for a free prequalifying interview. THE AURORA CLINIC 503.232.3003 1847 E Burnside www.theauroraclinic.com Physicians licensed in Oregon & Washington. 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