Letters
The 35-foot Dragonfly and all the disciplines and adventures inherent in her ownership, were the salvation and the optimal therapy for frequent Points East contributor Mike Pothier and his son Derek (above) after the devastating loss of, respectively, their wife and mother.
Sailing doeth good, like medicine I think it is time for me to tell a personal tale related to sailing, in the hopes that it may inspire others who have faced misfortune or adversities to think twice about the direction of their lives. My wife of 33 years and I ran a modestly successful business, together, for about the last 25 years. We were torn between selling it and taking early retirement to relax and enjoy the fruits of our labors. We finally decided the time was right, and, after a length of time, found a buyer who was a match for the business and sold out with the intention of getting a larger sailboat, and doing some coastal cruising in our home waters of New England. We also had one child, who was mentally handicapped and very dependant on us, but he enjoyed sailing on our 21-foot Sirius on weekends. Shortly after selling the business, we departed for a charter in the B.V.I., where we lived many years ago. The sailing was as stupendous as I remembered, and we were able to renew some acquaintances with friends still living there. We returned after about a monthlong trip, my wife became ill and died very unexpectedly and quickly. I was seriously heartbroken, distraught, and in deep denial and grief, and now sole care provider for my son, Derek. I went through way too many drastic changes in a very short period of time. In addition, I was in final negotiations to buy a 35foot sloop just before she died. What to do now? Everybody advised me not to make any major decisions so www.pointseast.com
soon after all this turmoil. Many of my friends truly believed I had already gone mad. I have never been much good at taking advice. I bought the boat. I knew if I just stayed in my house with my son, grief and despair would eat me alive and I would most likely spiral down hill very quickly. I was only middleaged (if I’m going to live to 120), and I had to do something to keep busy. Sailing a “new” used boat is certainly a good way to keep busy. Making a long story a little shorter, I made lots of changes to the boat, and I quickly started sailing to get familiar with it. Derek and I made some two- and three-week cruises both alone and in the company of others in a Points East flotilla. We made lots of friends at the marina in Eliot, Maine, and up and down the New England coast during the past seven years. We have had some exciting passages, interesting storms, and met innumerable, interesting people. We spend most of the summer on the boat and travel extensively until it becomes too cold in the fall. I have since met a very nice lady-friend (not through boating) and have showed her the pleasures of sailing and cruising, and she has returned the favor by trying to “kill me” while teaching me mountain climbing! Elphis now enjoys cruising with us and has become an accomplished sailor as well! Sailing was my salvation and the best therapy in the world. If I hadn’t returned to sailing, grief and loss would have consumed me and I would be like a derelict boat, dry-rotting, forgotten, and sinking in despair. I certainly still miss my wife, and always will, but sailing has filled the void, renewed my life, and left me with hope. Mike Pothier s/v Dragonfly Eliot, Maine
Half-hitch, bowline all you need When we patrol the marina docks to check on the boats and make sure they’ll all secure and no unexpected water coming in, we are often surprised at how the owners have tied their boats. You’d think boat owners and sailors, and people who hang around boats, would naturally be good at tying knots, but that’s not necessarily so. Over 50 years of running our little marina has taught us never to assume someone knows how to tie a decent knot. We’ve seen it all I think. Everything from bow and stern lines that were merely wrapped, not tied, around a mooring bit or cleat to oddball knots Points East Midwinter 2011
7