The view from the hill
Pattaya Today7/29 29 PATTAYA TODAY PROPERTY
Vol. 8 No. 14 1 - 15 April 2009
by Mr Pobaan
We are Mr and Mrs Pobaan. Welcome to Khao Talo Towers, our humble home on the Hill. Despite the natural way our gracious residence nestles into the gentle slope above Pattaya and its walls are embraced lovingly by wind-ruffled palm fronds, the house is of reasonably recent construction. I can testify to this fact because, not many years ago, Mrs Pobaan - light of my life and resident angel in my heaven - and I travelled here to inspect a small area of scrubland on Soi Khao Talo and, having compared it with many other plots hereabouts, selected it as the ideal location for our dream home. As is the case with many such estates in the area, the name of our village includes the word ‘view’. In fact, the elevation of the plot over the surrounding countryside was an important selling point for the developers who sought to separate the Pobaans from their cash by encouraging us to invest in their venture.
Because the elevation was, to the Pobaan mind, slight in Alpine terms, and the landscape available for viewing really not that spectacular, the view was more of a selling point than a buying point. Now that our home is built, our reluctance to share in the saleswoman’s enthusiasm for the prospect afforded from the site has been justified. Other houses have sprung up on every side to obstruct whatever panorama was available from the virgin soil, though of course we are not totally hemmed in. From our back patio, particularly if one stands on a chair or mounts Mrs Pobaan’s shiny aluminium stepladder, one is afforded a clear view of the tower at Jomtien – the one with the revolving restaurant – and the tops of a number of other buildings which are almost certainly in the Jomtien area. It doesn’t have the calendar potential of, say, the Serengeti at sunrise or Abu Simbel at dawn. We cannot view herds of wildebeest thundering majestically
across the veldt nor observe gracious feluccas twisting in the currents of the Nile. But it’s home. And when the sun has gone down around half past six, there’s a soft glow from down there in Jomtien, the fans are slowly turning, there’s a glass of whisky and ice on the table and, from the kitchen, the sort of sounds that wives make when they’re using their magical skills to create some irresistible feast from what to men appear unpromising materials, I wouldn’t swop the view for a ring-side seat at Elvis’s come-back concert. ‘Who’s Elvis?’ Mrs Pobaan has been reading my thoughts again. ‘He was a very famous singer. They called him The King.’ ‘He was your king?’ ‘No, he wasn’t a real king. Oh, never mind. I was just thinking that the twinkling lights of Jomtien, when viewed from our very own home, seem more beautiful than sundown in the Serengeti.’ ‘You can see Jomtien?’
‘Well, the tower.’ ‘Where?’ ‘That thing. The one that goes round.’ ‘OK. What do you want for dinner?’ In a world of complexity and sophistication, up in Khao Talo Towers we remain true to the simple things of life. To the south, way off in the distance, are the sunburnt pelts of beach-loving tourists, shaking sand from their shoes as the umbrellas are packed away after another day of sun worship. To the west are the fleshpots of downtown Pattaya, the neon lights only now flickering to life unseen, but easily imagined, to illuminate another evening’s hard partying. To the north, and then round a bit, is Bangkok, a city so big and tiring that it is to be avoided by stay-at-homes like the Pobaans at all costs. To the east is abroad. Up here on the Hill, all of this geography is out of mind. Tonight we are thinking lazily about what’s for dinner and what little domestic chores we shall plan to make tomorrow a fulfill-
ing day. We have a couple of dud light-bulbs that need replacing. And those dried papaya seeds should be planted. Not to mention washing the car – or should I take it to that valeting place across the Sukhumvit Road? It’s only 225 baht and they do it so much more thoroughly. Besides, I could use the time to do something else, such as... This is the real view from the Hill. It’s not exciting, but it is real. If you, dear reader, drive a red Ferrari at high speed or bungee jump before breakfast, the view from the Hill is not likely to provide you with the adrenaline rush you need to make you feel alive. But if you’re a regular cove who can rub along just fine with all the good, honest and true things of life, then share the view in this space every couple of weeks with Kuhn Pobaan. The ride is more Toyota Yaris than rollercoaster, but you’ll get home in one piece without upchucking your breakfast. And, who knows, you may come to reassess what are the important things in life.
Kuhn Pobaan’s by-the-way Fact 1: taking off your shoes before entering a house is a nice custom. Fact 2: Khao Talo Towers has three outside doors – front, back and side. Sooner or later, any conscientious house-husband busying about his duties is bound to do as follows: he comes in at the back, leaving his first pair of shoes at the door; he exits at the side, picking up his second pair of shoes at point of departure; he deadheads a few hibiscus plants and re-enters the house by the front door, discarding the second shoes beside the third pair which he keeps at the front door. He then has to put out the rubbish at the side of the house, but of course there are no longer any shoes at the side door so he goes outside barefoot, comes back in and leaves dusty footprints in the kitchen. Outcome: annoyed teerak. Solution: sorry, Mrs Pobaan. You are to be obeyed in all other matters, but Mr Pobaan keeps his shoes on in his own house. Your views please.