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›› SiNGLE iN THE SUBURBS TRiViA CAFÉ
by Howard Rachelson
1a. Named San Francisco Chronicle player of the year in 2006, graduate of Palo Alto High School and Harvard University, what Asian-American NBA basketball player has become a global phenomenon in a matter of a few weeks? 1b. What Branson School basketball star, named the Chronicle player of the year in 2008, became his Harvard teammate? 2. What movie studio uses a roaring lion as its visual logo? 3. RSVP is the abbreviation for what French phrase? 4. Pictured, Right: The three current longest ruling queens of European countries reign over the United Kingdom, Denmark and the Netherlands. Who are they? 5a. What kind of snake, up to 20 feet in length, kills its prey by coiling around it and suffocating it? 5b. In what Florida park has the number of these snakes drastically increased (formerly pets, released by their owners)? 6. Meryl Streep was nominated for the Best Actress Academy Award this year for the 14th time. She won the award only once previously, for her role in what 1982 film? 7. Name the largest island in each of these bodies of water: 7a. Caribbean Sea 7b. Mediterranean Sea 8. What person traditionally administers the presidential oath of office? 9. What two U.S. states are (virtually) rectangular in shape? 10. Get out your calculators: What is the measure in degrees of the angle formed by the line with equation y = 2x and the positive x-axis?
BONUS QUESTION: In the United Kingdom, what kind of products are sold at “Off-Licence” shops?
Singles mixer a strong argument for solitary confinement... by N ik k i Silve r ste in
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Howard Rachelson welcomes your questions (we’ll give you credit) and invites you to live team trivia contests at the Broken Drum in San Rafael on Wednesdays at 7:30 pm. Contact him at howard1@triviacafe.com.
HERO
Answers on page 26
WA hit-and-run is always a dreadful, reckless and irresponsible incident, but when a driver strikes a 5-year-old boy and leaves the scene, we call that a Zero of epic proportion. The little guy was crossing the street in Novato last Sunday when a dark minivan hit him. The driver and passenger didn’t help the boy and they drove away before authorities arrived. The fire department delivered the young lad to Marin General. Fortunately, his injuries were minor and he’ll be just fine. As for our cowardly Zeros, they may want to turn themselves in, because it turns out there were witnesses to their dastardly deed. If you have any information about the hit-and-run on Hutchins Way, please contact the Novato Police Department.—Nikki Silverstein
Got a Hero or a Zero? Please send submissions to e-mail nikki_silverstein@yahoo.com. Toss roses, hurl stones with more Heroes and Zeros at ›› pacificsun.com
ZERO
VWe’re fans of folks who take a stand for their beliefs and take action as well. In fact, it’s our definition of a hero and Mill Valley resident Kim Flaherty fits the bill. Kim, a vegan for many years, is on a solo mission to inspire Marin restaurants to add a vegan item or two to the menu. It’s not her job and her only compensation is knowing that vegans will have options when they dine out and the lives of some animals will be spared. Pearl’s Phat Burgers in Mill Valley quickly granted her request and now offers a vegan burger, complete with a vegan bun. Now that’s customer service. Kim hopes everyone will try Pearl’s new burger to see how delicious it is to eat vegan.
Valentine’s Day massacre y friend Keith unwittingly played a starring role in a Valentine’s Day disaster last week. If only he had spoken with me first, I would have told him what to expect. After all these years spent as a single soul, people should trust me when it comes to heartless commercial holidays targeted at couples. For the record, my recommendation to the unattached remains unchanged—stay at home on Feb. 14. A former co-worker called Keith a few weeks ago. “I can’t believe a dreamy guy like you is still single, but that’s all going to change,” Danielle crooned. “Be our guest at a Valentine’s party.” That’s when Keith should have hung up. Instead, he listened to the horrific details. A married Mill Valley duo invited 20 couples to a party. The only catch was that each couple had to drag along a single person to introduce to the other 19 single people attending. Danielle chose Keith, because the 10 spots for women were filled and she didn’t know any other “stand-up” single men. He hesitated, until she mentioned catered food and the hosts’ wine collection. I winced when he shared that part. What’s the big attraction of limitless free food to guys who live alone? For goodness’ sake, go to a nice restaurant and order up. It’s less expensive than the lack of dignity demonstrated by attending a contrived party where you’ll be the center attraction. Dressed in decent duds with flowers in hand, Keith rang the bell of the large, lovely home tucked away in the hills of Mill Valley. The hostess greeted him warmly, accepted the bouquet and delivered him to Danielle and her husband, Eric. Danielle offered air kisses, while hubby plucked green olives from a tray of appetizers. Keith extended his hand to Eric, who took the time to lick olive oil off two fingers and wipe them on the edge of the tablecloth before engaging in a less than hearty handshake. (Yep, all the good men are taken.) For a while the couple and their lonely hearts club guest nibbled and chatted. Finally, the hostess struck her crystal glass with a spoon, quieting the room. “Welcome lovers and friends,” she said. “We’re here tonight to honor St. Valentine, a man who became a martyr for his belief in love. There are 40 people in this room lucky enough to have found and married their soul mate. We acknowledge our blessing and bring 10 men and 10 women together to hopefully find the same happi-
ness. Couples, let’s introduce our guests.” Each single guest was announced. Keith wanted to slip out the back, but Danielle was holding his hand. Once the introductions were finished, the hostess said, “Let’s mingle.” With that, the married woman in each trio began dragging her two men around the room. Keith, typically modest, confessed to being the most desirable single man there. “Train wrecks,” he declared. “What was wrong with them?” I asked. “This normal-looking dude had sweat rolling down his face. Like he was in a shower,” explained Keith. “Another guy wouldn’t shut up about making a killing buying homes before they went into foreclosure. He said he was doing the owner a favor, paying pennies on the dollar for their house. An unemployed guy kept asking if anyone knew of a job. It was a Saturday Night Live skit.” Most of the women were nice, but also with fatal flaws. Obese, drunk and slurring, too old, too young or too tall. Early on, Keith determined that his mate was not among them, yet he felt obligated to stay. Danielle was on a mission. “That girl in red is adorable. You don’t have to marry her, just take her on a date,” Danielle cajoled. The couples drifted to the edges of the room, practically locking the single folks in the center. Keith said he felt as if they were gladiators forced to perform in front of a jeering crowd. The happy couples scrutinized every move. The ghoulish show was over as far as he was concerned. He politely waited until the food began disappearing and the empty wine bottles filled a small serving table before he departed. I agree the party was a bust, although I think it may have been a sincere effort by the couples to share the love. A few years ago, my friend Kate and I went to Rosh Hashanah services held by a Reform, kindof-New-Age, Berkeley rabbi. During his sermon, he suggested the happily married were obligated to introduce unmarried men to unwed women. “We’re a community,” he said. “We’re responsible for one another.” Maybe Valentine’s isn’t the right day and putting us singletons on display is the wrong way, but I hope the spirit of the idea catches on. Feel free to put me on your guest list. < Email: nikki_silverstein@yahoo.com.
Offer Nikki some helpful advice on TownSquare at ›› pacificsun.com FEBRUARY 24 - MARCH 1, 2012 PACIFIC SUN 9