NUVO: Indy's Alternative Voice - December 10, 2014

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Editorial // editors@nuvo.net managing Editor/sports editor ed wenck // ewenck@nuvo.net News Editor Amber Stearns // astearns@nuvo.net Arts / film Editor scott shoger // sshoger@nuvo.net music Editor Katherine Coplen // kcoplen@nuvo.net Cityguides/food editor Sarah Murrell // Calendar@nuvo.net // smurrell@nuvo.net film editor Ed Johnson-Ott copy editor Christine Berman contributing editor David Hoppe contributing Artists Wayne Bertsch, mark A. Lee, Michelle Craig Contributing writers Tom Aldridge, Marc Allan, WADE COGGeSHALL, Steve Hammer, rita kohn, Lori Lovely, seth johnson, Kyle Long, rebecca Berfanger, dr. debby herbenick, jolene Ketzenberger Listing manager / film editorial assistant Brian Weiss // bweiss@nuvo.net Art & Production // production@nuvo.net Senior Designer Asha Patel Graphic designers will mccarty, Erica Wright Advertising/Marketing/Promotions Advertising@nuvo.neT // nuvo.net/advertising Director of Sales & Marketing Mary Morgan // MMOrgan@nuvo.net // 808-4614 event & promotions manager Meaghan Banks// mbanks@nuvo.net // 808-4608 media consultant Nathan Dynak // NDYNAK@nuvo.net // 808-4612 media consultant David Searle // DSearle@nuvo.net // 808-4607 media consultant casey parmerlee // cparmerlee@nuvo.net // 808-4613 Accounts Manager Marta Sanger // msanger@nuvo.net // 808-4615 Accounts Manager kelly pardekooper // kpardek@nuvo.net // 808-4616 Administration // Administration@nuvo.net Business Manager Kathy Flahavin // KFlahavin@nuvo.net CONTRACTS SUSIE FORTUNE // sfortune@nuvo.net IT Manager T.J. ZMINA // TJZMINA@nuvo.net Distribution Manager Ryan McDuffee // rmcduffee@nuvo.net Courier Dick Powell distribution Arthur Ahlfeldt, Mel Baird, Lawrence Casey, Jr., Bob Covert, Mike Floyd, Mike Freije, Bill Henderson, Lori Maddox, Doug McClellan, Steve Reyes, Harold Smith, Bob Soots, Ron Whitsit Distribution Support SUSIE FORTUNE, Dick Powell

NUVO goes online

Distribution: The current issue of NUVO is free and available every Wednesday. Past issues are at the NUVO office for $3 if you come in, $4.50 mailed. Copyright ©2014 by NUVO, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction without written permission, by any method whatsoever, is prohibited. ISSN #1086-461X

As part of NUVO’s runup to our 25th Anniversary Issue, we’re taking a look back over our last 25 years. We began Oct. 1 — 25 weeks away from our birthday in March of 2015.

Cover Page 08

In the May 18, 1994 issue, NUVO ran a cover story regarding our new digital presence — yep, we became the first paper in Indy to offer an online product. Boy, was it primitive. Logon instructions included:

Frank Vardeman tries to hold Presbyterian congregations together in the face of cultural change.

Set your modem and communications software to the desired speed you wish to use and set your modem parameters for 8 data bits, no parity and 1 stop bit (8,N,1). Dial 861-4498. After the modem connects, you will receive the message:

By David Hoppe

Username:

TOO MANY CHURCHES?

news...... 05 arts........ 12 Music......22

If you do NOT see the above, hit the Enter key on your keyboard a couple of times (this is almost always required at baud rates above 2400). ... The instructions continued for several more graphs. We were also kind enough to include a tutorial on emoticons:

Harrison Ullmann (1935-2000) editor (1993-2000) andy jacobs jr. (1932-2013) Contributing (2003-2013)

Mailing Address: 3951 N. Meridian St., Suite 200, Indianapolis, IN 46208 Telephone: Main Switchboard (317) 254-2400 FAX: (317)254-2405 WEB: nuvo.net

March 25, 2015, NUVO turns 25. We’ll be sharing some memories.

1990-2015

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Editor & Publisher Kevin McKinney // Kmckinney@nuvo.net

25 years in 25 weeks

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“Politicians are perfectly happy to claim a mandate when 85 percent of the voting public did not choose them.”

Comedian’s comedian Brian Regan on Top Five, Mormonism, Seinfeld and Cosby

Competitive eater Joey Chestnut tells NUVO how he prepared to consume a world-record amount of shellfish in Indy.

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One method people on Internet use to get their personalities across ... employs “smiley faces” ... for example: “I suppose that’s fine for you, but that’s not how I’d have done it :-)” The quoted statement above is close to a FLAME, but the use of the smiley face at the end “defuses” the statement to be a “chuckle” or “humor.” — Ed Wenck

nuvo.net what’s online that’s not in print?

WANT TO WORK FOR NUVO? Are you ready to join Indy’s most creative thinkers? NUVO is seeking a talented and passionate Art Director/Production Manager who is responsible for crafting a unified vision that will not only appeal to its intended audience but also engage and communicate. The Art Director/Production Manager will create alongside other department leaders to realize an overall vision. Check out complete position description at nuvo.net or use the QR code at right. If you think you have what it takes to work for Indy’s Alternative Voice, send resume to Kevin McKinney, Publisher at kmckinney@nuvo.net NUVO // 100% Recycled Paper // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // this week 3


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Dan Carpenter editors@nuvo.net Dan Carpenter is a freelance writer, a contributor to Indianapolis Business Journal and the author of Indiana Out Loud.

wo distressing news items out of state government last week speak volumes about how much – or how little – your vote matters. First, from the secretary of state, we got public did not choose them, and politithe particulars on our modern-recordcians will do what their elite supporters low turnout in the Nov. 4 election: Thirty dictate regardless of what the people percent of registered voters bothered to “decide” at the polls. cast ballots, compared to 39 percent in Wendell Berry, the Kentucky agrarian 2002, the last election without gubernato- writer and maverick social critic, put it rial or U.S. Senate races. Marion County timelessly in an essay published more posted 25 percent, about the same as the than 40 years ago: last two mayoral elections. (Greg Ballard “The time is past when it was enough – the 13-percent solution.) merely to elect our officials. We will have Next, we learned courtesy of the resoto elect them and then go and watch lute Tom LoBianco at the Associated them and keep our hands on them, the Press that the state’s investigation of way the coal companies do.” ousted state schools chief Tony Bennett Coal companies haven’t gotten any less turned up plenty of evidence to charge hands-on. The notorious Koch brothhim with federal fraud for using his office ers owe their fortune to the problematic as a weapon in his unsuccessful 2012 fossil fuel, and that industry’s hold on election campaign against Glenda Ritz. Indiana politicians is reflected in Pence’s The state inspector general kept that adamantine opposition to the federal information from the public; LoBianco government’s latest effort to alleviate the ferreted it out. poisonous impact of coal burning on our Having disposed of this inconvenient air, water, soil, children and fetuses. business by finding Bennett guilty of So citizens, like the coal companies minor violations and levying a $5,000 fine, and the anti-Ritz forces that wish to the IG has moved on. So have the rest of privatize our schools for profit, must Bennett’s fellow Republicans in power; lobby. And picket. And write letters to the including his holdover State Board of editor. And raise hell. And perhaps vote. Education and Gov. Mike Pence’s bogus education office, created to oppose the Department of Education which Ritz was overwhelmingly elected Politicians are perfectly happy to to lead. (Pence made the claim a mandate when 85 percent of surprise announcement Thursday he plans to disthe voting public did not choose them. solve that agency because of the controversy surrounding it.) So, what shall we conclude? That you I say perhaps because some of the missed an opportunity and skipped an most politically engaged people in obligation last month by not going to the America see no point in choosing polls and earning one of those “I Count, I between establishment alternatives, Voted” stickers? Or that you did your duty and instead work to bring pressure on in 2012 by handing Glenda Ritz one of the whoever winds up in office. When fellow widest victory margins of any state officeprogressives lecture them about shirking holder, and the guys in the Statehouse their responsibility, they can point to the decided your vote didn’t count after all? travails of a history-making president Either way, the lesson is clear: and a triumphant Indiana schoolteacher Politicians are perfectly happy to claim a and reply that citizenship is a much bigmandate when 85 percent of the voting ger job than merely voting. n


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About 200 people gathered in front of Bankers Life Fieldhouse to protest the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus performances Thursday night.

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PHOTO BY TJ FOREMAN

ENTERTAINMENT VS. ANIMAL CRUELTY Local group protests Ringling Brothers circus

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BY L O R I LO V E L Y EDITORS@NUVO . N ET

rmed with banners and signs— some of them cleverly lighted for the nighttime crowd—nearly 200 people circled the block where Banker’s Life Fieldhouse hosted the opening night of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus to protest against animal cruelty. The Indiana Animal Rights Alliance (IARA), a local organization advocating for animal rights, organized the peaceful protest. It wasn’t their first Ringling Bros. protest, but it was their biggest to date. “In 2011 there were less than a dozen of us,” recalls Leslie Holding. “The message is getting through, word is getting out and more are joining us.”

Animal abuse The goal of the protest was to educate the public about how circus animals are treated. “A lot of people care about animals, but aren’t aware of how they’re really treated,” states Joel Kerr, IARA executive director. He’s convinced that “everybody would support us if they saw the videos.” Although a spokesman for the circus told the Indianapolis media that accusa-

tions of abuse are “completely false,” the group’s claims are supported by facts gleaned from undercover videos shot by PETA, a year-long Mother Jones investigation and a $270,000 fine — the largest in U.S. history — imposed on the circus for violations of the Animal Welfare Act, for incidents dating back to 2007.

Stephen Payne, a spokesman for Ringling Bros., claims that bullhooks are approved by the Department of Agriculture and the American Veterinary Association. However, earlier this year Los Angeles instituted a ban on bullhooks, and other cities are considering similar proposals. Approximately 60 countries have banned “The message is getting through, the device. “That’s our next word is getting out and more are step,” Kerr says. The group has already been joining us.” in contact with mem— LESLIE HOLDING, PROTESTER bers of the Indianapolis WITH INDIANA ANIMAL RIGHTS ALLIANCE City County Council to inform and educate them about Ringling Brothers’ “long hisKenneth Feld, CEO of Feld tory of abusing animals,” he adds. “We Entertainment, the privately held want to show them pictures and videos corporation that owns the circus, as and talk about the issue.” well as Disney on Ice, Disney Live and Monster Jam (which, together, provide annual revenues of up to $1 The issue goes deeper than the bite billion, according to a Forbes profile), of the bullhook, or ankus. The Mother has admitted under oath that trainJones investigation reveals physical ers routinely hit the elephants with ailments resulting from the Ringling bullhooks, whip them and use electric prods on them – but says he doesn’t consider that abuse.

An elephant tale

SEE, CRUELTY, ON PAGE 06

Indy reacts to Garner case Following a New York grand jury’s decision not to indict NYPD officer Daniel Pantaleo for the police custody death of Eric Garner, Indianapolis residents reacted in similar fashion to the rest of the country. More than 150 people gathered on Monument Circle Thursday night with signs and chants expressing their outrage with the decision. It was the second case in as many months where a white police officer was not held accountable for the police-involved death of an unarmed African-American male in America. Two people at the protest were arrested without incident for blocking traffic. An IMPD media relations officer received harsh criticism for adding the hashtag #WeCanBreathe to a tweet discussing the arrests at the protest. Officer Kendale Adams apologized for the hashtag and stated it was not meant in reference to Garner’s last words of “I can’t breathe” while in a chokehold but rather something entirely different. The tweet has since been removed. DeLaney out, Harrison maybe for mayor State Representative Ed DeLaney (D-Indianapolis) took his hat out of the 2015 election race. In an issued release, DeLaney said it was with reluctance that he is ending his efforts to become the city’s next mayor. Instead, DeLaney will serve on the House Ways and Means Committee at the request of Minority Leader Scott Pelath (D-Michigan City). The committee is primarily responsible for constructing the state’s budget every two years. Service on the committee is considered quite an honor. At the same time DeLaney was dropping out of the race, Barnes United Methodist Church pastor Charles Harrison filled out the paperwork to establish an exploratory committee for a possible mayoral run. The Ten Point Coalition founder says he has not determined if he will run as a Democrat or an Independent, if he runs at all. Harrison says he will announce his final plans sometime in January 2015. Homelessness Rally A group of teenagers pitched tents and braved the elements Friday night to bring awareness to the issue of homelessness in Indianapolis. The effort was organized by Brebeuf freshmen Dana Parker and Parker Hershberger, who became advocates for the homeless following a class project at their former school in their 8th grade year. The group set up their camp in front of Christ Church Cathedral and held signs on Monument Circle that read, “I speak for the homeless” and “Don’t just hide the homeless” along with statistics about the homeless living on the streets in Indianapolis. Parker says the effort was designed to bring awareness to homelessness issues in the city and to show support for a proposed ordinance drafted by City-County Councillor Leroy Robinson that would protect some citizen rights and the property of the homeless. Robinson and Council President Maggie Lewis also attended the rally and voiced their support for the students’ awareness efforts. — AMBER STEARNS NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // NEWS 5


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Good Government Seminar Friday, Dec. 12, 11 a.m. Common Cause Indiana will host its seventh annual Good Government seminar at the Indiana Statehouse. The seminar will focus on ethics reform in light of the numerous scandals that have exposed weaknesses in ethics laws for the legislative and executive branches of state government. The seminar will feature several expert panelists who will discuss the gaps in current laws and how best that should be changed to protect the public’s interests. Attorneys in attendance can earn CLE credit. The seminar is open to the public and all legislators. Lunch will also be provided. Registration is required. House Chamber, Indiana State Capitol, 200 W. Washington St., $15-$75, commoncause.org Bleed Blue Blood Drive Saturday, Dec. 13, 8 a.m. The Indianapolis Colts and the Indiana Blood Center will host the 15th annual Bleed Blue Blood Drive and Health Fair at Lucas Oil Stadium. The annual event is held every year in December to help the Indiana Blood Center stock the blood shelves at a time when supplies tend to be low because of the holidays. The event will include free health screenings and information, access to the field, Colts give-aways, and a Drug Take Back event. Appointments for the blood drive are strongly encouraged. Lucas Oil Stadium, 500 S. Capital Ave., FREE, colts.com/bleedblue Lights Out on Bullying Monday, Dec. 15, 7 p.m. Indy Going Blue and Crown Hill Cemetery will host former UF fighter and fulltime IFD firefighter Chris Lytle for a talk with parents and families about how to combat bullying. Lytle is the author of the book, Lights Out on Bullying, a book for kids that addresses the issue of bullying. Lytle’s presentation is designed to be strong and interactive for families. Crown Hill Cemetery Celebration Room, 700 W. 38th St., $15 per family, crownhill.org

THOUGHT BITE ARCHIVE Because of deceitful, profit-seeking advertising, young smokers believe they will never get cancer and that people their age will never get Social Security retirement benefits. (Week of Jan. 12-19, 2005) — ANDY JACOBS JR.

NUVO.NET/NEWS Pence and more education changes — By Lesley Weidenbener Abortion facilities law: unconstitutional — By Mary Kuhlman

VOICES • Mike Pence, immigration and the irony — By John Krull • Eliminating CECI makes sense — By Lesley Weidenbener 6 NEWS // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO

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People and families with the Indiana Animal RIghts Alliance protested circus cruelty to animals, specifically elephants, during the Ringling Bros. shows in Indianapolis.

CRUELTY , FROM PAGE 05 elephants spending most of their lives in chains or in close confinement for days at a time due to their heavy travel and performance schedule. Forty-eight weeks a year, the circus travels by train to more than 30 cities. Approximately 50 elephants are taken on the road to perform, after being trained using what Ringling claims is “positive reinforcement” and “a system of repetition and reward that encourages an animal to show off its innate athletic abilities.” Although Ringling claimed that rest stops allowing the animals to disembark for fresh air and exercise were built into the travel schedule, evidence indicated that orders for 600 trips from 2000 through 2008 included only 14 rest stops. The elephants traveled an average of 26 hours straight, with some trips extending beyond 70 hours without a break. The longest discovered by Mother Jones was 100 hours on a 1,830-mile trip from Lexington, KY, to Tucson, AZ. With up to five elephants in each boxcar producing approximately 15 gallons of urine and 200 pounds of solid waste in 24 hours, the mess adds up quickly. According to Mother Jones, former circus workers described the stench as unbearable when they opened the cars for water stops … without letting the animals out. Not surprisingly, the investigation found elephants afflicted with tuberculosis and herpes, potentially deadly diseases linked to captivity.

The investigation also reported that nearly 100% of the adult elephants were lame with serious foot problems or musculoskeletal disorders. Their feet were misshapen, ulcerated, abscessed and infected. Twelve of sixteen young elephants suffered from various foot or limb maladies, the report stated. Other ailments included: stiffness, peg-legged, chronic left stifle and sloughing toe nails. The cause of these ailments was attributed to being forced to stand long hours on hard surfaces, being forced to balance their 8,000pound bodies on small stands and being confined for long periods, according to Philip K. Ensley, the retired San Diego Zoo handler who reviewed the medical records and testified in court.

Big money from big animals Elephants are the circus’ biggest draw, according to testimony by Feld Entertainment executives, providing upward of $100 million of revenue. They are the very symbol of the self-described “Greatest Show on Earth.” As circus officials are quick to point out, Ringling is one of the few places where Americans can see Asian elephants in person. That’s because Asian elephants have

been on the endangered species list since 1973; their importation is prohibited by federal law. Because they can no longer be imported, Ringling breeds them at its wellguarded 200-acre central Florida $5 million facility, which it claims is dedicated to elephant conservation. Between 2008 and 2011 at least four baby elephants died, all under what Mother Jones described as “disturbing circumstances that weren’t fully revealed to the public.” There have been other deaths, and other USDA fines for chaining and excessive force. “Every single time an undercover camera has gone in to videotape behind the scenes, they witness harsh training, using fear and pain,” Kerr says. He challenges Ringling to provide 24-hour live streaming of their elephants so the public could see how the elephants are treated and trained. “They don’t want it because if people see what really goes on, they would go under because no civilized person would ever support them again.” That’s the message animal rights groups like the IARA hope the public gets: stop supporting cruelty. Until they do, Holding says, “I’ll continue to protest until they shut it down.” n



II “

’m a seventh generation pastor,” Frank Vardeman tells me. Frank’s sitting behind the wheel of his Prius; we’re on Highway 20, headed for Mishawaka, in northwest Indiana. It’s a bright fall morning. Frank’s a rugged man with a gentle voice. In his youth he was an all-state Georgia football player (he has the bum knees to prove it), which also helps place his accent, warm and smooth as well-crafted bourbon. Frank is an elder in the Presbyterian Church (USA), a mainline reformed

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Protestant denomination. He’s what’s called a general presbyter, a modernday circuit rider, looking after churches and congregations in a region that covers the northern part of Indiana, from the Michigan border down to Zionsville, outside Indianapolis, and from the Illinois to Ohio state lines. This is hard work. According to the job description: “The General Presbyter will nurture the community of the Presbytery and enhance our partnership in ministry with other governing bodies and ecumenical communities as we seek to serve Jesus Christ in this place.”

All too often what that means lately is either closing churches whose congregations are no longer large enough to support their buildings, or putting out fires sparked by recent denominational votes in favor of the ordination of gay ministers and gay marriage. Beyond these controversies, what makes Frank’s job hard is the blizzard of social and cultural changes affecting generational relationships, communication and peoples’ rapidly evolving understanding of community itself. While these changes are hardly unique to the church — they seem to be challenging all manner of institu-

tions, from the arts, to education, to government — this knowledge provides cold comfort. Numbers tell part of the story. Twenty years ago, there were 30,000 congregants in Frank’s Presbytery; now there are just over 10,000. He is responsible for 82 churches in this region but, at the moment, three are angling to leave. The average age in many congregations is 60. Frank worries about young people entering the ministry. “”They’re going SEE, CHURCHES, ON PAGE 10


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cally, as well as people who were more traditional or conservative. What is happening is that as conservatives leave, the tent gets more liberal, which upsets traditionalists because they see all the decisions going a certain way.” Frank remembers the late ‘90s, when the church took a different position, outlawing the ordination of gay people. “I thought seriously about leaving the denomination. I felt it was sinful to force people into the closet. To me, forcing someone to be other than God made them would be my definition of sin.” Frank felt the issue keenly, having spent time in the 1980’s, with his pastor wife Heidi, ministering to a gay church during the height of the AIDS crisis. “I did so many funerals,” he says. ”I finally burned out. I got dizzy and saw all the faces of the men I had buried.” But he stayed with the church and worked for change within the denomination. “The reality is I bet every family has been touched by the gay issue. I don’t care whether they live in Angola or Indianapolis.”

Giving people what they want

Steve Braden (left), pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Mishawaka, confers with “circuit-rider” Frank Vardeman.

CHURCHES , FROM PAGE 08 into these old places, out in the middle of nowhere, and I’m afraid they’ll get very depressed ... Older churches can’t compete with the nondenominational rock and roll churches with lots of video. Their sanctuaries don’t work that way. Our seminaries train people for something that doesn’t exist anymore.”

A shrinking tent As we drive, Frank takes a call on his mobile phone from the elder of a church that is considering pulling out. The congregation, about 18 people in all, appears divided over what to do about gay marriage. A large part of Frank’s dilemma has to do with a major divide in his church over LGBT issues. In 2010, the church’s General Assembly voted to ordain openly gay ministers. That prompted about 350 churches across the country to leave the fold. Then, last June, the General Assembly voted 61 percent to 39 percent to change its constitution’s definition of marriage from “a man and a woman” to “two people, traditionally a man and a woman,” causing remaining conserva-

tives to consider breaking away. “A lot of churches are going to say, ‘we’re not going to do it,’” says Frank of their unwillingness to sanction gay marriage. “But the pastor will say, ‘I’m going to do it, but not in the church.’ It’s a mess.” “It’s a sad thing to have that kind of split in a congregation where people have known each other for years and then they’re unwilling to walk down the same aisle in the grocery store, A church fight is very similar to a massive family fight.” Frank walks into these fights on a regular basis. “When you have that kind of conflict, you can sense it the minute you walk in the door.” Frank will tell you about the inspiring things congregations accomplish: the ways they care for the sick and grieving, feeding the hungry, providing help for homeless people and families. After Hurricane Katrina, he went to New Orleans as part of Presbyterian Disaster Assistance and worked at rebuilding homes. Then there is the sense of continuity churches bring to community culture, especially in rural and outlying towns. “It could be that every year at harvest time they sell 100

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pies, or every spring they have a big rummage. When the church closes, that’s gone. So instead of being in community with one another, people are in front of their TVs.” The diminishing congregations in many of Frank’s churches are indicative of the gradual hollowing out of many Indiana small towns. The “get big or get out” ethos adopted by agricultural policymakers and industrial farming advocates has made it harder and harder for farming families to support themselves. “The kids leave,” says Frank, “because there are no jobs. As these counties depopulate, the churches depopulate.” All of this makes the controversy over gay marriage and its impact on congregations more painful. “What’s disturbing to me are the folks who say they’re ready to leave the denomination, and take the church and go to another place. To me, that’s disturbing because they don’t even want to talk about it. They don’t want to enter into dialogue. The Presbyterian Church has always been what they said was a big tent. There could be people who were liberal theologi-

As we enter Mishawaka, we pass a defunct church that now houses a beauty college. We’re on our way to meet Steve Braden, the interim pastor at First Presbyterian, a church that in its hey-day, around 1960, had around 1,000 members. Now there are 100. Braden is a former attorney who had a midlife career change and became a pastor. Then he retired, only to be called back to help try and get First Presbyterian, which had lost its pastor and was bleeding cash, back on track. The church, with its stately steeple, is located on a broad avenue, next door to a robber baron-era mansion. It was built in 1909, features impressively-crafted stained glass windows and a pipe organ. Seating capacity is 280. When they stand side-by-side, Braden and Frank look like a poster for what’s dogging their denomination: a couple of vintage-era white guys. They know it, too. While Braden has managed to put First Presbyterian on a more stable footing in little more than a year, he is under no illusions about the larger cultural forces challenging the institution. He says rock and roll was the beginning of the end: “You had the advent of the transistor radio. For the first time ever, a generation could listen to its own


music. They didn’t find that in churches.” This, says Braden, eventually led to the creation of consumer-oriented churches that aim to give people what they want in church, rather than what their parents were used to. Many mainline churches were slow to accept this, he says, “many still haven’t.” “Traditional ways of doing church are based on the book,” says Braden. “They’re designed for highly literate people. There’s a lot of words, you have responsive readings, hymnals are complex. More recently you’ve had a digital generation. They’ve grown up getting information from screens; it’s a huge disconnect.” Braden likens that disconnect to the difference between baseball and soccer. “Soccer worship is one where you’re much more involved and active. Baseball worship is where you just sit and watch other people do stuff.” Braden sees traditional churches being perched on a demographic plateau. Baby Boomers, he says, are the last generation to have been raised in church. “There are a lot of retired folks in these churches, and once they’re gone, there will be no one to take their place.” Unlike ministers who preside over the years of expansion in the 1960’s, most Presbyterian clergy today have never served in a growing church. “Churches have been declining for 40 years,” says Braden. “So the goal becomes how can we keep the institution alive.”

Radical inclusiveness “I think the best thing about the church is the community that’s made by people of good will,” says Frank. “To me, that’s uplifting and important and a better side to human nature.” We’re headed for Plymouth, where the church is hanging on despite an increasingly difficult financial situation. Our route takes us to a recently completed stretch of highway. Frank tells me it shaves a few minutes from the trip between Mishawaka and Plymouth, but also bypasses a number of small towns. “Their businesses are going to dry up.” Frank’s grandfather on his mother’s side was a Presbyterian minister in Auburn, Alabama. The Presbyterian church sponsored several agricultural colleges for blacks across the south. When Frank’s grandfather happened to visit one in Tuscaloosa, he was so appalled by conditions there he called

“It wasn’t about going to heaven or hell. It was about social justice.” — FRANK VARDEMAN

Vardeman considered leaving his denomination over outlawing the ordination of LGBT pastors: “ I felt it was sinful to force people to be in the closet.”

up a church administrator and told him the school should either be fixed or closed. He was named the school’s president, instead. The entire family, including Frank’s mother and father, moved to Stillman College. “They were like missionaries,” Frank recalls. “So I grew up in a missionary family, even though it was not overseas. It was within the black community during the ‘50s and ‘60s. That was my understanding of the faith. It wasn’t about going to heaven or hell. It was about social justice.” Frank majored in English at Emory University in Atlanta, and attended Union Theological Seminary in New York City. “My daughter Ann and I are very similar,” he says in trying to describe his theology. “We would both call ourselves followers of Jesus before we would call ourselves Christian. That’s the Jesus of history, who practiced a community of radical inclusiveness. He was against self-righteousness, against being so committed to being right and others being wrong.”

“We don’t have many kids.” Plymouth’s First Presbyterian Church started as a log cabin. A booklet marking

the church’s 175th anniversary features sketches showing how the church has grown — its current structure dates back to 1888 and was remodeled in 1929. The church was built when people walked to Sunday services. It is within view of the county courthouse, as are houses of worship representing Methodists, Episcopalians and the United Church of Christ. Back in the ‘60s, First Presbyterian counted around 150 members; today it is down to 60. Fifteen to 30 turn up on a given Sunday. There is no fulltime pastor. Les Johnson, a retired pastor, has been serving as a kind of caretaker. We meet him coming out of the boiler room where he’s contending with a serious leak. Water covers the entire floor. Johnson seems resigned to what is apparently the latest in an ongoing series of headaches; Frank looks worried. Apart from standing water in the basement, the church is handsome and lovingly cared for. But the annual spending of tens of thousands of dollars for heating and maintenance from the church’s endowment is clearly unsustainable. Johnson tells us that, over the years, members have moved away or been

transferred; many have died. In spite of the church making space available to Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, “we don’t have kids.” “It’s discouraging,” says Frank when we get back in the car. “You see the framework of what it used to be like and it’s not like that anymore.” On our way home, I flip to the last page of First Presbyterian’s commemorative booklet, and find “The 175th Anniversary Poem, “ by Peggy Clevenger, a 50-year member of the church: The past is filled with memories to treasure thru all our years And now it’s time to journey on with confidence — no fears. It seems we have big shoes to fill But with God’s help, we know we will. We know the Cross might seem hard to bear But trusting God will get us there. Lord, we pray, please light our way — And help us continue on from day to day.

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VISUAL

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DIPTYCHS AND DICKHEADS

“Clothespin Freaks” by Catya Plate

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Indianapolis Art Center Winter Exhibitions Opens Dec. 12. The folks at the Indianapolis Art Center, now under the leadership of one-time exhibitions director Patrick Flaherty, have another robust round of shows planned for the winter, including a solo show by 2014 Skip “Three Broken McKinney Faculty of the Year Lattices” winner Vendra Pentecost. Also by Terrence on the bill: the 2014 College Campagna Invitational Exhibition, featuring work by undergraduate and graduate students studying in Indiana, and new work by Catya Plate, Terrence Campagna and Russell Shoemaker. Indianapolis Art Center, FREE, indplsartcenter.org

NOW OPEN Sideshow Art and Odditorium Sideshow Art and Odditorium isn’t your typical gallery. It’s smack dab in the center of City Market, the lunchtime haunt of many downtown professionals, many of whom may not be familiar with Indy’s homegrown art scene. Owners Alan Schoff and Becky Wilson are hoping to rope them in by featuring bite-sized work by some of the city’s best. Look out for intriguing double-sided collages by Matt Eickhoff that come off like artwork for other-dimensional travel brochures. Or “micro-specimens” by Carla Knopp gathered from the planet of her imagination. But perhaps the most spectacular thing here is the Odditorium itself, whose pillars and display spaces were constructed by Wilson out of repurposed cardboard formerly used for retail displays. Sideshow Art and Odditorium is now open Monday-Friday 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Saturday 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Indianapolis City Market — DAN GROSSMAN

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FIRST FRIDAY, BY THE NUMBERS Magnificent Amber r Through Dec. 26. It was impossible to avoid the holiday-themed group shows this First Friday — they’re as inevitable as your shopping mall Santas. But they are a good way to see new work by unfamiliar artists. I came across Laura Levine’s work for the first time at the Harrison’s annual color-themed show. Her 3D mixed media, wall-hanging sculpture “Moses and the Burning Bush,” which portrays some dude in a hoodie succumbing to flames with eyeballs, is magnificently colorful and inventive. More of Levine’s work is on display through December at Fountain Square’s Funkyard. Cagney King isn’t a new discovery, but permit me to say a few words about her eyebrow-raising, diptych-esque “Blow me” paintings, which feature a man being blown away by a fan on one canvas and a woman drying her hair on another. Also take note of King’s painting “Extinct,” recently featured in Studio Visit Magazine, which finds a rhinoceros against a rough-hewn yet painterly backdrop. Harrison Center for the Arts

It’s the season of group shows, so don’t take the star ratings too seriously

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Here & There: New Work by Shannon Hinkle e Through Dec. 26. Perth, Australia and Indianapolis don’t have much in common except Indy native Shannon Hinkle, who will soon relocate to Perth. A recent trip down under — on which she happened to view some of the continent’s undeveloped backcountry by plane — inspired this show. Among the mixed media works on display here, which combine drawing, photography and block printing, is a linocut portrait of Indianapolis juxtaposed on the Australian shore entitled “Reflection.” In addition to making me think of those “Australian perspective” world maps that place Antarctica on top of the world and put the United States down under, it made me think of how a cityscape can influence — and reflect — a state of mind. City Gallery at the Harrison Center for the Arts 2

Stutz Holiday Exhbition and Open House e Through Dec. 26. Yet another holiday show, this one with the feel of a link-heavy website. Like the work of an artist featured in Stutz’s showcase gallery? Just take the elevator upstairs to his/her studio for more! Yes, it was an open-studio night for 50-plus Stutz artists — and unlike most link farms, a click-through delivered on its promises. 2014 Stutz resident artist Marna Shopoff struck a low-key note with her architecture-inspired abstract painting “Grey Area” in the Stutz Gallery, but upstairs her latest work found her going in a mind-blowingly fluorescent direction. The year’s other Stutz resident artist, Cheryl Anne Lorance, offered a glimpse of her oeuvre via the masterful egg tempera painting “How May I Serve You?” which portrays a creepy looking masked man in a dunce cap opening a door in what appears 3

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“Blow Me Too” by Cagney King

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“How May Serve You” by Cheryl Anne Lorance to be a medieval dungeon. There was plenty more to see in her studio, which featured an exhilarating and conceptually intriguing mix of travel-inspired sketching, etching and sculpture. The gallery show is open through the month, but you’ll have to wait until April for the next Stutz open studio night. Raymond James Stutz Art Gallery Beauty and the Beats: Holiday Edition Print Party r Dec. 5 (one night only). Studio B Creative Exchange, located in a basement caddy-corner to the Mass Ave Pizzology, can be a little tricky to find for the first-time visitor. But the hunt is worth it. The work of Briqlyn Paige, a Herron printmaking student, greeted me as I walked into the door. “Springtime for Sex” may have been in gray scale, but it had a distinctly O’Keeffe vibe with its depiction of flowers and its title. And her colorful “Connections” portrays bubbles, perhaps bubbling up from the soup of primordial chemicals from which we all come. Sylvia “Ess Mckee” Rivers, who runs the design company INAZ Inc., organized this event featuring reasonably priced prints by 25 artists. Rivers’ own prints mix a 4

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“Dream Big” by Sylvia Rivers taste for boldly colored graphic design with a love of three-dimensional forms. The subject of these prints: a multitude of paper airplanes buzzing around the sky. Studio B Creative Exchange Tiny III e Through Jan. 9. TINY III was billed as a “huge” show by Gallery 924. And in terms of the number of artists displaying small-scale work (89), it certainly was. Some of those artists are pretty huge in the contemporary art world too. Like Anila Quayyum Agha, who won $200,000 for her installation “Intersections” this fall at ArtPrize, and contributed to this show two small, abstract grayscale paintings that are like solid pieces of a foggy day. And then there’s the huge shock value inherent in R.A. Buys’ three “Festival of the Steel Phallus” cast aluminum sculptures, each of which could fit in the palm of the hand (much like the organ referred to in the work). They all take the form of a laughing Buddha with a phallus, said phallus being absurdly large in proportion to the Buddha. One of them even had a dick as a head, designed, I guess, to offend practicing Buddhists and the Mike Pence crowd in equal proportion. Gallery 924 5

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— DAN GROSSMAN

“Festival of the Steel Phallus” by R.A. Buys



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Butler professor Eric Stark directs a student choir

Rejoice! Dec. 12-13, 7:30 p.m. On the manifest for this year’s edition of Butler’s “musical gift to the community”: a Bach cantata and a Poulenc motet, a jazzy “Winter Wonderland” and an East Indies carol, music from A Charlie Brown Christmas and Home Alone — and, yes, the “Hallelujah” chorus (because you just can’t title your event “Rejoice!” without it). Clowes Memorial Hall, FREE but ticketed, 940-6444, butler.edu Messiah Sing Along Dec. 13, 7:30 p.m. Fair warning, folks. If you want to sing along to Handel’s Messiah, be sure you show up to the Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra’s Dec. 13 show. Because if you go a day later, it’s going to be mighty embarrassing when you start belting out “And he shall reign forever and ever.” Even if you’re a totally awesome singer. But whatever your talent level (within reason), you’re more than welcome to join in with members of Encore Vocal Arts and four top-flight soloists. Just get the date right. Indiana Landmarks Center, $30 adult, $12 student, icomusic.org

COMEDY

BRIAN REGAN WHEN: DEC. 14, 7 P.M. WHERE: MURAT THEATRE AT OLD NATIONAL CENTRE TICKETS: $50 (PLUS FEES)

BY K A TH ERI N E CO P L EN KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET

e’s … the funniest guy that the world doesn’t quite know about,” Chris Rock said Monday of comic Brian Regan on Marc Maron’s podcast WTF. “He’s one of those guys that no comedian in the world says, ‘Yeah, I want to follow Brian Regan.’ ” Quotes like Rock’s about Regan pop all the time on podcasts and in interviews. Regan’s reputation as a comedian’s comedian is well-known and well-earned. And he didn’t build that rep by being provocative or incendiary. Regan’s observational humor is clean and actually family-friendly. Which means it must be really funny if he’s beloved by so many profane degenerates. Rock certainly is a fan — he gave him a part in his new vehicle Top Five, which comes out this week. In fact, Regan has been kept so busy with the promo for Top Five, we could only interview him via email, which we did late last week.

NUVO: Speaking of our fair city, any great (or terrible) stories from the Hoosier state? REGAN: My dad worked for the airlines so we could basically fly for free, but we had to fly standby. One time we were at the airport and there weren’t enough standby seats avail on the flight to our vacation destination. So we left that gate and passed a gate that was boarding a flight to Indianapolis. My dad walked up to the gate agent and said, “Do you have enough seats open for my family over there?” A few minutes later we were wheels up to Indianapolis. Ended up having a great time! NUVO: How long did Jerry Seinfeld drive you around on your Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee episode? I like to imagine that he just toodles around with people all day in those fancy cars.

Brian Regan “is honored to be embraced by the Mormon community.” PHOTO BY JERRY METELLUS

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Comedian’s comedian Brian Regan on Top Five, Mormonism, Seinfeld and Cosby

BRIAN REGAN: I don’t really change my set that much from city to city or state to state. The only joke I might not do in Indianapolis is, “What’s with all those weirdos in Indianapolis?”

The Naptown Nutcracker Dec. 12, 12:30 and 6:30 p.m. Call it experiential learning. Beyond the Pointe’s update of The Nutcracker finds Clarissa (not Clara) traipsing through a “land of many cultures,” from Spain to Russia to Africa and back. Marian University Theatre, $10 matinee, $15 evening, beyondthepointedance.com

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NUVO: Do you mold your set differently in different parts of the country? Indiana (and much of the Midwest) is super conservative — does that affect your set in any way?

Elf: The Musical Dec. 16-21. Crawl into a Santa’s bag. Travel to the North Pole. Meet Santa. Realize you’re not an Elf. Face the truth. Travel home. Save Christmas. THAT’s an adventure. Old National Centre, prices vary, indianapolis.broadway.com

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VOICES

PUT SOME STANK ON IT

Handel’s Messiah Dec. 14, 3 p.m. Your last chance to see the piece conducted by ICO music director Kirk Trevor, who will retire in 2015 and has been conducting fewer concerts this season as the orchestra tries out several job candidates. Tabernacle Presbyterian Church, $30 adult, $12 students, icomusic.org

NUVO.NET/STAGE

THIS WEEK

REGAN: Jerry Seinfeld picked me up and I guess we drove around for about four hours. It’s weird being in a car chatting with someone at a red light then a van pulls up next to you loaded to the rafters with a film crew. NUVO: I’ve heard Chris Rock quoted as saying that a comic can bring the same show back to the same city

just once — any more than that and people will stop showing up. Since you’re on a never-ending tour, what system do you have of integrating new material? REGAN: I think if people like your show, they’ll come back. If they see basically the same exact show, I think far less would come back a third time. I like to keep adding stuff and dropping stuff so hopefully people keep coming back. For example, I just dropped my joke, “What’s with this Nixon guy, huh?” NUVO: How does it feel to be a Mormon comedy hero? [Editor’s note: Regan does, it has been noted, particularly well in Utah and other Mormonpopulated enclaves.] REGAN: I like when anybody likes me. I’ve been honored to be so embraced by the Mormon community. I’m sure the fact that I work clean plays into that. But I also feel like they must think I’m kind of funny. So it’s pretty cool. NUVO: Were you modeling your Top Five Sirius Hits 1 character off of any satellite radio host in particular? REGAN: My character in the Top Five movie is a radio engineer who asks Chris Rock’s character to be a little funnier after he does a liner for the station. I can relate to my character because I know what it’s like when people sometimes think comedians can just make anything funny at any time. So it was a very fun scene to do. NUVO: What is “stank,” anyway? REGAN: Ha! For people reading this who might not know, to help Chris Rock’s character be funnier, I tell him “to put some stank on it!” It just helps underscore how out of touch my character is with the world of comedy. NUVO: What are your favorite comedy albums of the year? How much comedy do you consume? REGAN: I don’t watch or listen to a lot of comedy albums or specials. If I see a comedy special as I’m clicking around, I’ll watch part of one here and there. But for entertainment, I usually like to get into something outside of comedy — sports, news, and, oddly enough, The RFD Channel. [Editor’s note: Regan is referring, of course, to the “nation’s first 24-hour TV network dedicated to serving the needs and interests of rural America.” ] NUVO: Patton Oswalt said this about accusations against Bill Cosby: “The Bill Cosby thing is so fucking awful, and what’s even more worse for comedians is that a lot of us have known for a long time.” REGAN: I guess I’m kind of naive and didn’t know about any of the accusations against Bill Cosby before they came to light. It’s a very sad situation and I feel bad for everyone affected by it. n


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THIS WEEK

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FROM MOTOWN TO APPALACHIA

Dance Kaleidoscope: Broadway Meets Motown r Through Dec. 14. Dance Kaleidoscope’s joyful and soulful holiday show Broadway Meets Motown gives longtime patrons a chance to revisit with two programs from the repertoire — 2010’s There’s No Business Like Show Business (presented as the first act here) and 2012’s The Best of Super Soul (the second act). Some DK members are performing these works for the first time, often offering new interpretations. Jillian Godwin brings out the dichotomy at the heart of “Something’s Coming,” which is city brash and raw at the start, then achingly tender at the close. Caitlin Negron and Timothy June take “Some Enchanted Evening” in a more expansive direction. One feels as though they might just float off. Mariel Greenlee holds nothing back with “Losing My Mind” and we are there with her recalling our own lies. The full company pieces equally enter into our hearts and bones — “Being Alive” takes us into realms beyond description. You have to be in a seat and feel it. David Hochoy’s choreography alternates between amplifying the lyrics and revealing the subtext. Laura E. Glover’s lighting is in full partnership with Hochoy, as light seems to be emanating out of the dancers’ bodies, and not merely shine upon them. Act Two is a whole different show, choreographed by Hochoy, Cynthia Pratt and Nicholas Owen. It offers us Marvin Gaye’s hey-look-at-me attitude, Michael Jackson’s fluid moonwalking, Smokey Robinson’s in-your-face, amoebic eroticism, Stevie Wonder’s winsomeness and bravura and The Temptations’ wryness, among other flavors. — RITA KOHN Indiana Repertory Theatre Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra: Yuletide Celebration e Through Dec. 23. Yuletide’s 29th annual appearance dazzles with a fast-paced combination of something old, new, borrowed and blue, presided over by diva Angela Brown and Broadway star Ben Crawford, conducted by Jack Everly and populated by a cast and crew of 160, many with Hoosier roots. We expected the return of “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” Yuletide Jukebox and the Dancing Santas, but there’s a surprise element to each. New to this edition are medleys from Broadway favorite Elf: the Musical and Disney Angela Brown is resplendent in her holiday best. SUBMITTED PHOTO

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December’s arts calendar has plenty more to offer than tap-dancing Santas (though those are still available and excellent)

PHOTO BY CROWE’S EYE PHOTOGRAPHY

Jillian Godwin with Zach Young, Brandon Comer, Justin Sears-Watson and Noah Trulock in “Bloody Mary,” part of Dance Kaleidoscope’s Broadway Meets Motown.

Yuletide Celebration’s Dancing Santas.

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blockbuster Frozen. Also new: Concertmaster Zach DePue leaves his usual front row spot to perform alongside Time for Three colleagues Nicolas Kendall and Ranaaan Meyer. The “hybrid ensemble” is teaming with “hybrid artist” Kristen Noonan for an awesome, hybrid Frozen segment. Blue is the color of Ms. Brown’s choir-robeesque gown that’s so perfect for her magnificent rendition of the spiritual “Rise Up, Shepherd.” And blue is also the color of the suits worn by the Yuletide Gentlemen, who stopped the show on opening night with their ringing harmony. Everly, celebrating his 20th Yuletide conducting anniversary this year, is backed up a by a veteran crew, including Ty A. Johnson, in his 29th year of producing the

PHOTO BY ZACH ROSING

Herr Drosselmeyer (Ryan Mullins), once again emcee of NoExit’s The Nutcracker. IPL-sponsored program. It’s the combination of staff continuity along with infusions of new talent that leads to backstage and onstage excellence for the run of the show. Come early to meet the live reindeer outside the front entrance, snatch photo-op moments inside the lobby by cozying up to the costumed holiday mascots and the massive tree, and hear the stirring organ music delivered by Justin Stahl. — RITA KOHN Hilbert Circle Theatre NoExit Performance: The Nutcracker e Dec. 4-6. NoExit’s Nutcracker is director/choreographer Georgeanna Wade’s continually evolving expression of her long and complex relationship to the iconic holiday ballet. I’ve seen only two of the four (so far) annual iterations, but this year’s was much more focused, with a better mix of dancing

and dialogue than the 2013 edition (which was heavy on talk). The overall story arc this year was one of a nightmarish beauty/scholarship pageant. Each contestant had her own dance and/or story. I recognized some dances from last year — the Gypsy’s, the can-can, and the final marionette dance — but others seemed new. Within a new frame story, we find sexy control freak Herr Wolfgang Drosselmeyer (aka the emcee, played by Ryan Mullins) still scolding the toddleresque Sparkle (Georgeanna Wade) for wanting to dance instead of stage manage — which once again prompts the audience to sympathetically “aww.” And Drosselmeyer is still brow-beating us into learning the proper way to bow when the wooden Nutcracker is brought in and placed on his throne. There was still a bizarre love triangle between Drosselmeyer, Ginger (Michael Burke in poke-youreye-out drag) and The Mustached Man (this year played by Bill Wilkison, who doubled as a pushy conductor for the Polar Express in the pre-show shenanigans while Zachariah Stonerock manned the Kissing Booth.) The dark, depressing ending still sort of came out of nowhere but also made sense as a feminist statement. — HOPE BAUGH Irving Theater Breaking Up Christmas by Sheila Kay Adams q Dec. 6. Storytelling Arts of Indiana brought 7thgeneration ballad singer Sheila Kay Adams from North Carolina last weekend for a glorious program of hilarious stories, heart-tuning songs, and deft banjo playing. I laughed until I hurt over her story of taking several granny ballad singers to Washington, D.C. in 1976 for the Smithsonian Folklife Festival. They finally made it through airport security even though one granny had what she always carried in her pocketbook and all six chambers were loaded. Then another granny put a wad of snuff inside her lip just before they went on to the outdoor stage. To the thousands of people in the audience, it looked like that mountain woman was spitting into her pocketbook. Adams said, “I didn’t fault them for their ignorance but if you’ve got a granny that uses snuff, you know that she had a cup down inside that pocketbook and she was drillin’ it. She might’ve filled it half full but nary a drop spilled over the sides.” Adams’ timing is exquisite as is her sense of which details will make a story come alive. She’s careful to credit the masters from whom she learned her songs and stories. Her singing voice has a sturdy yet haunting beauty. She shared a rich variety of songs with us — everything from a declaration of love and yearning that moved me to tears to a longer ballad of a lord’s wife that cheated with “Little Matthew Groves” and got caught. She also played a song or two on a banjo using the claw-hammer style. It looked impossibly simple for how intricate it sounded. — HOPE BAUGH Indiana History Center


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OPENING Exodus: Gods and Kings Christian Bale plays Moses in Ridley Scott’s Bible epic. And why did Scott cast Bale and not, say, an Egyptian actor? “I can’t mount a film of this budget, where I have to rely on tax rebates in Spain, and say that my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such. I’m just not going to get it financed. So the question doesn’t even come up,” he told Variety . Don’t worry, Rupert Murdoch, whose 20th Century Fox is distributing the film, has Scott’s back: “Moses film attacked on Twitter for all white cast. Since when are Egyptians not white? All I know are.” Know before you go. Opens Thursday in wide release

Top Five Writer/director/star Chris Rock plays a very famous comedian itching to play more serious roles in this “genial, splendidly constructed, occasionally hilarious comic drama” (The New Yorker). With a ton of cameos by Rock’s colleagues, including Tracy Morgan, Cedric the Entertainer, J. B. Smoove, Whoopi Goldberg, Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler. Opens Thursday in wide release The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies This is the end. Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy (or LOTR hexology) winds up with the shortest film in the series, coming in at a svelte 144 minutes. PG-13, opens Tuesday in wide release

NUVO.NET/FILM Visit nuvo.net/film for complete movie listings, reviews and more. • For movie times, visit nuvo.net/movietimes

FILM EVENTS contd. Lingaa Dec. 12-14. Did you know that Indianapolis audiences will have a chance to see this new Tamil thriller just as soon as any Delhibased cinephile? Yes, Lingaa’s world premiere is Dec. 12 (the birthdate of its star Rajinikanth). Metropolis 18, $20 adult, $15 child, carmike.com It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) Dec. 12-14. Dear George, Remember no man is a failure who has friends. 18 FILM // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO

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IT’S AN AVALANCHE!

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Force Majeure offers a complex study of how people react to crisis

B Y ED J O H N S O N - O TT EJO H N S O N O T T @ N U V O . N E T

orce Majeure is the best foreign language film I’ve seen this year. It’s one of the best films in any category I’ve seen this year. Swedish writer/director Ruben Ostlund’s a crisp, handsomelypresented study of the roles we play — gender roles, family roles — focuses on how we behave in emergencies. Are we hardwired to react in a certain way during a crisis? Are instinctive reactions a measure of a person’s character? There’s a lot going on in Ostlund’s story of an attractive family on a skiing holiday. The incident that sets everything off happens on the second day of the family’s vacation at a French ski resort. While Tomas (Johannes Kuhnke) and Ebba (Lisa Loven Kongsli) enjoy lunch with their two children on a restaurant terrace, they witness the beginning of an avalanche. No big deal, controlled avalanches are set off routinely to minimize the chance for big, uncontrolled ones. But wait, this avalanche doesn’t look controlled. ... Holy shit, it’s headed right toward the resort! The screen goes white, only to clear up a few seconds later. Turns out it was just mist — “snow smoke” — caused by the controlled avalanche. When it clears we see Ebba with her arms wrapped around the kids. Tomas is absent, though, having run away from the danger. He returns and at first everybody is simply relieved to be together and safe. Later, the questions begin. Ostlund focuses his cameras on the machines of the resort, highlighting the

Thanks for the wings! Love, Clarence Artcraft Theatre (Franklin), $3-5, historicartcrafttheatre.org Underground Undone (1986-2011) Dec. 12, 6:30 p.m. This selection of experimental short films that have been “partially destroyed, left unfinished, finished posthumously, or otherwise designed to be indeterminate” includes David Wojnarowicz’s A Fire in My Belly (A Work in Progress) and Helen Hill’s The Florestine Collection (in 16mm). IU Cinema (Bloomington), cinema.indiana.edu

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Not to worry. It’s just “snow smoke.”

routines that keep it working. He focuses on the family grooming, sleeping, peeing — highlighting the routines that keep them functioning as a biological unit. Mostly, he focuses on Ebba and Tomas trying to come to terms with what happened. This isn’t a grim study. There’s plenty of humor, the kind that comes from watching one cringe-inducing moment after another. And Tomas, is usually the one squirming the most. Ostlund resists the urge to be flat-out mean to the man, but he certainly is relentless. Remember the controversy over Jackie Kennedy when her husband was assassinated? Life magazine stated that when the shots hit the motorcade, Mrs. Kennedy “climbed onto the trunk,” presumably trying to escape. To this day, some people

are angered at the very idea that the First Lady might have attempted to flee. I thought about that as I watched Tomas trying to piece together his shattered selfesteem. Then I remembered an incident from my own life. While biking a dirt path in the bayou with my best pal years ago, my front tire slid on a gravelly spot and I went flying off the bicycle. I hit the ground hard and broke my collarbone and a bunch of ribs, but my main concern wasn’t the injuries. I was worried that my best friend would think I was chicken because I screamed before I hit the ground. Force Majeure stirred those memories while still keeping me firmly involved in the story. The end of the film isn’t as sleek as what comes before. There are two unusual incidents, both of which seem contrived to wrap things up meaningfully. Neither tarnishes the film. They’re just more than was needed. Ostlund’s production raises interesting questions and follows up in an engaging and intriguing fashion. That’s enough for me. Providing resolution is up to the audience. n

Met Opera: Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg

The Hobbit Marathon

Dec. 13, noon. James Levine conducts a live simulcast of Wagner’s comedy about a Renaissance song contest. Various theaters, $25 adult, metopera.org

Dec. 15, 12:30 p.m. If you want to see The Battle of Five Armies a few hours early (at 7 p.m. Monday night), you’ll have to pay for the whole trilogy. Various theaters, approx. $30, thehobbit.com

REVIEW

FORCE MAJEURE

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White Christmas: 60th Anniversary Dec. 14, 2 and 7 p.m.; Dec. 15, 7 p.m. A Fathom Events simulcast of the 1954 musical supplemented with “special backstage stories and an Irving Berlin White Christmas retrospective.” Various theaters, $12.50, fathomevents.com

Royal Ballet: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Dec. 16, 7 p.m. A live rendition of Christopher Wheeldon’s 2011 ballet, called “absurdist, dazzling, dark and almost beyond praise” by The Daily Telegraph. Various theaters, $18 adult, $15 senior/child, roh.org.uk


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BEER BUZZ

BY RITA KOHN

Indiana State Museum celebrated the 81st Anniversary of Repeal of Prohibition on Dec. 5. The party continues though Feb. 15 at the American Spirits: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition exhibit. Indiana City’s Prohibition-era themed party invited guests in flapper and bootlegger outfits. Barley Island combined Repeal with its 15th anniversary featuring 15 brews. New Brews & News Rock Bottom: Wicked Elf Ale, an amber-hued Belgian-style strong traditional Bier de Noel, has imprints of each brewer’s individuality Downtown and College Park. Pair with the lovable Elf the Musical at Old National Centre starting Dec. 16. Oaken Barrel: American Stout winter seasonal is dark hued with a creamy tan head and harmony of toasty malt flavor and bright American hop character. Upland: Barrel Chested Barleywine Ale earns its seductive sweetness and complexity of rich caramel, biscuit, toffee and fig from long maturation in oak barrels previously used by the Willett Distilling Company. Indiana City: Hellcat Maggie and Bourbon Barrel Aged Irish Red grew into hefty seasonals from ICB’s award-winning Irish Hill. Thr3e Wise Men: Mount Crumpet Christmas Ale is a deep amber, rich malty wheat with notes of dark fruit, cinnamon, vanilla and spicy cloves. Chilly Water: Belgian Dark Strong Ale has a hint of cherry. Coming soon are a new IPA, brown ale, PeterPaul Coconut Porter and the first version of Chilly Water Lager. Half Moon: K-Town Brown is a rich, malty, nutty, chocolaty Englishstyle Brown Ale made with caramel, carabrown, special roast and chocolate malts. Bloomington Brewing: Krampus Imperial Black India Pale Ale’s dark, roasty malt aroma opens to piney resin, hop aroma. Brew Link Brewing Company reports moving forward for its late winter/early spring opening in Plainfield. They had to re-file Federal paperwork because their original name choice was already in use. Founders/brewers Adam Burk and Ruari Crabbe admit they now know the importance of research. Books ‘N Brews is hand-bottling and labeling 22 oz. bombers. Find them at 21st Amendment, Kahn’s, Vine & Table, Parti-Pak and Goose the Market and at their brewpub, on tap and take-out growlers. Sun King brews in handcrafted sweets include Just Pop In! Dark Chocolate Osiris Popcorn and The Best Chocolate in Town Wee Mac Chocolate Truffles. Upcoming Events Dec. 10, 5 p.m. Triton 500 Monks Belgian Strong Ale Tapping at their Fort Ben brewery site. Dec. 11, 5-7:30 p.m. Good Beers and Ugly Sweaters, Eugene and Marilyn Glick Indiana History Center. Complimentary beertastings from Sun King, Bier Brewery and Three Pints Brewing Co.

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JAWS: THE MAN WHO EATS FOR A LIVING N

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ot many men in the world can relate to the plight of the pregnant woman and her ever-changing body. Except, maybe, for the reigning king of competitive eating, Joey “Jaws” Chestnut. It’s the end of the competitive eating season, and Chestnut feels the literal weight of another successful year in every joint in his body. “None of my clothes fit. My ankles are swollen,” Chestnut laughs. He’s put on over 15 pounds since the season started, even with a lot of fasting between competitions, and he looks a little uncomfortable in his skin. How could he not? He’s one of only a handful of globally-competitive pro eaters, many of whom are, infuriatingly, thin and small-framed, like “Black Widow” Sonya Thomas, who clocks in at just over 100 pounds. Chestnut, like many other eaters, had an exceptional capacity for food. “I was in college, normal college guy, and I always loved to eat. I’d eat healthy during the week, and, as a reward, I’d go to SUBMITTED PHOTO my parents’ house on the weekends and Joey “Jaws” Chestnut holds up his Nathan’s Hot Dog eat everything. I mean, everything.” Little belt, which he’s held onto for eight consecutive years. did he know, he was putting in valuable practice that would later inform a sucand keeps him from signing with Major cessful career, with a little unintended League Eating, the organization that help from his siblings. “There were six puts on the major eating competitions kids, so if you wanted seconds, you had in the world. MLE also makes sure the to eat fast. I would always get seconds.” competition is safe, and all MLE conOne of those siblings, Chestnut’s youngtest have an EMT and safety regulaest brother, entered him into his first tors on the premises, as well as their contest. The rest is history. own carnival-barker style announcer As for his famous takedown of Takeru wearing a flat straw hat in December. Kobayashi, Chestnut has been waiting for the day when he might once again have real competi“I’m just a really lucky guy who loves to tion at these events. In eat. I have the best job in the world.” defeating his rival, he eliminated his best shot — JOEY “JAWS” CHESTNUT at a real competition for what turned out to be several years. Chestnut’s repeated victories have instilled in These kinds of regulations ensure a Kobayashi a Williams sisters-like trepiconsistently entertaining show (MLE codation about competing, frequently regfounder and announcer George Shea’s istering for events and then pulling out play-by-play and pre-contest remarks with complaints of jaw pain. are worth the price of admission alone), “Jawsitis,” Chestnut laughed. That’s and that Chestnut won’t suck his last the name he’s given Kobayashi’s mystebreath through the hole in the center of rious mandibular pain that makes him a shrimp lodged firmly in his esophagus. And as for those shrimp, it turns out pull out of competitions with Chestnut

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Joey Chestnut requires a bigger boat

that, in the grand scheme of competitive eating, the St. Elmo’s shrimp cocktail is not as bad as it sounds. “Clean protein is pretty easy,” Chestnut says. The worst offenders are fried stuff and dairy. “The worst thing I ever ate for a competition was jalapeno poppers. They were made with really cheap cheese. Awful.” The best eating competitions, he said, are put on by restaurants. They always have the highest-quality food, and Chestnut was looking forward to last Saturday’s competition (at which he ate 10.4 pounds of shrimp cocktail, horseradish included). The worst places? “Usually casinos.” Turns out the best way to judge the quality of a restaurant is to eat a few pounds of their best dish and see how it treats your guts over the next few hours. And to answer everyone’s impending question: the “after-effects” of competitive eating are exactly what you think they are. Just like some things, er, eliminate pretty effortlessly, some other foods’ lingering effects last long after the competition is over. And the preparation is exactly what you think it is: Chestnut gorges on his competition food, mostly to just get his body used to consuming and carrying around whatever his next competition food is. He refers to this process over and over as “building up a tolerance”—especially when he’s up against ten pounds of horseradish-coated shrimp. Then it’s a few days of fasting to keep the calories down, and then he starts all over. I wasn’t sure what kind of people would call themselves “competitive eating fans,” whom Chestnut summed up as “college-age guys who love food.” On the day of the competition, Chestnut was swarmed by young guys and middle-aged men in college football jerseys. Most of them let out a boisterous “WOOO!” when they first made eye contact, and many of his fans road trip to come see him, which is what motivates him to stay in top form even without much real competition at the table. “I’m eating against myself. I have to perform, because there are people who show up and say, ‘Joey, I drove four hours to see you!’ and I’d be a jerk if I didn’t perform.” Chestnut is grateful for every one of them, every shrimp devoured and every chant of his own name. “I’m just a really lucky guy who loves to eat. I have the best job in the world.” n


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MUSIC

REVIEW

JAZZ KITCHEN, DEC. 5

Sophistication and fluidity layered with harmonic sensibility and an urgency of searching beyond the immediate permeates Emmet Cohen’s individuality as a jazz pianist with roots in classical repertoire. His style takes me into the same kind of reflective, poetic intellect of Steve Allee’s approach to recasting standards and creating original works. One can kick back and let it wash over or lean forward and find wisps of new takes on old tunes, spinning and spiraling — sometimes cascading — into a flow of emotions making this very moment particular, achingly ephemeral. Cohen clearly connected with Nick Tucker on bass and Kenny Phelps on drums. They were breathing together. Cohen commented, “It’s amazing how this language called jazz can get people who haven’t been together to speak with one another intuitively, intimately.” The program opened with what Cohen referred to as “my favorite theme” — Sammy Fain’s “That Old Feeling” “the theme song appearing in multiple films 1937-1997”. Slow and easy teasing on the keyboard grew into trio up tempo, a frenzy disappearing into quiet picking out the tune, piano slowing to pendulum time, fading into echo of bass and drum. Joe Burke and Edgar Leslie’s “Moon Over Miami” went from dreamy ballad into sexy bossa nova, split into two conversations with Tucker and Phelps on a steady beat, Cohen chasing tempos around them, catching up, going into cat’s feet mode, mincing into swing to playing off each other for a crash closing. Along the way the program had covered Gene de Paul’s “You Don’t Know What I Love” and Billie Holliday’s “Darn that Dream” before we got the impact of Cohen’s partnership with trumpeter Brian Lynch, particularly their haunting “Distant Hallow.” “Who’s Getting the BB3” refers to a gig with Benny Benack III as a glyph off Kenny Hubbard and a T.S. Elliott poem with images of hibernation, waking up, happiness and April — a bit of a introspective fun featuring Tucker and Phelps before they bowed out for Cohen’s introspective, bluesy ballad solo that morphed into Ahmad Jamal’s “Ahmad’s Blues.” A bittersweet “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and a military march-bookended “Black and Tan Fantasy” were full of extrapolations, with Tucker and then Phelps gaining space to showcase their virtuosity. Cohen closed with a holiday encore as riffs on Christmas tunes. — RITA KOHN

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Artistic timeline of an Indy emcee on the eve of an album drop

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iqolas Askren remembers the first rap he ever wrote. “I had a song called ‘School’s Out’ when I was 12, and it was just about summer vacation,” he recalls, laughing. Things have come a long way since then for the emcee, whose childhood fascination with writing rhymes eventually blossomed into a pure love for hip-hop. Now more than a decade later, the artist known as Sirius Blvck prepares for the release of his latest full-length album, Light In The Attic on Indy label Rad Summer on Dec. 15, with a coinciding cassette release via Holy Infinite Freedom Revival. Askren’s latest effort marks the final piece in a three-part trilogy of albums with L.A.-based producer Bones of Ghosts (Paul Schneider) a teaming that started with 2013’s excellent LP Ancient Lights. “This record was really just me trying to have as much fun as I can and really just shed light, as opposed to casting this dark cloud,” Askren says. With the release of his latest album nigh, we compiled a timeline tracing Askren’s musical journey, from his grade school days as a writer to more recent ones as a hip-hop powerhouse. SUBMITTED PHOTO

Niqolas Askren

SIRIUS BLVCK WITH SHAME THUGS, WHITE MOMS AND ABSENT FATHERS

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2005 Returns to Indianapolis and starts high school at Decatur Discovery Academy. Askren also has his first experience rapping. “I was getting into a lot of trouble when I got back and nothing was working, so my mom just started taking me to these events called United States of Mind. It was like a hip-hop night that they did every month Downtown. They had breakdancing, graffiti, DJs spinning and freestyle rapping. Those were my first real times actually rapping with a group of rappers.” EARLY 2007 The six-piece indie/hip-hop band Indian City Weather forms with Askren as the primary lyricist and emcee “When I first started really taking songwriting seriously and writing my own songs, it was with them.”

SUBMITTED PHOTO

MARCH 24, 1990 Niqolas Askren is born in Crown Point, Ind. “My mom was living in Gary at the time with my grandmother, but she had me in Crown Point, Ind. at St. Vincent Hospital.” 1999 Wins Shel Silverstein-sponsored poetry contest “I wrote a poem in 3rd grade called ‘Too Many Chores.’ He [Silverstein] came out to Gary Public Library and did a book signing for all the kids that got entered into the contest, so I got to meet him. That was really awesome.”

NOVEMBER 2010 Indian City Weather releases their first EP, Leather Lungs “We printed out 1,000 copies and gave them all away. Right after we put that out is when we started doing a lot of shows with Pessoa, Caelume and a few other bands.” JUNE 2011 Meets collaborator Oreo Jones when Indian City Weather opens up the Gateway 2 release show at the now-defunct Earth House Oreo Jones: “Someone posted a link to one of their videos beforehand, and I really was drawn to his delivery and flow as an emcee. Blvck has such a unique gift as a songwriter in that all his verses are really captivating.”

OCTOBER 2000 Reflection Eternal’s (emcee Talib Kweli and producer Hi-Tek) Train of Thought is released “Train of Thought was the first real hip-hop record that I had ever bought. That record just hit me. My dad used to bump it all the time when I was younger.” OCTOBER 2002 Moves to Indianapolis for the first time at the age of 12 “My mom and dad had gotten a divorce, and my mom kind of packed all six of us up and just left without even telling my dad. My dad went to work one day, we packed up this huge U-Haul, she packed all of us in the car, we left, and then we had a townhome that same day.” 2004

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A LOOK BLVCK IN TIME

PHOTO BY MARK SHELDON

EMMET COHEN AMERICAN PIANISTS ASSOCIATION’S JAZZ FELLOWSHIP AWARDS PREMIERE SERIES

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Returns to Gary for a brief time “I moved back to Gary for another year to live with my dad and my three brothers, and then I moved back.”

SUBMITTED PHOTO

JULY 2011 Meets performing partner John Stamps John Stamps: “I first met Sirius when I was 17 after a show we had both played at the ES Jungle. It wasn’t the first show we had ever played together so we were both familiar with each other’s music. He was in Indian City Weather, and they had quite the following. The maturity and sharpness of his lyrics and style was something I envied. His fans regarded him as a real musician.”


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NOVEMBER 2011 Askren has empowering experience while opening up for Machine Gun Kelly at the Egyptian Room with Indian City Weather “In the middle of the set, people just started getting a little rowdy, so while they [his band mates] were tuning, I decided to do a spoken word piece. The whole crowd started booing, and I didn’t know what to do. I was in a panic mode, so I just started screaming it. I was screaming it directly at ‘em, and by the end of it, everybody was dead silent for the last two minutes of it. It was my first time ever feeling like I had control over a crowd. LATE 2011 Askren begins working on solo material as Sirius Blvck “Indian City Weather had just kind of gone on hiatus, and for a while things were going pretty slow. So I was like, ‘Fuck it. I’m going to put together a mixtape.’”

Meets collaborator Grey Granite, who appears on his Smoke In The Trees mixtape later in the month “I hit him up randomly and was like, ‘Yo man. You don’t know me, but I’m in that band Indian City Weather. I’m doing solo music. Would you like to get on a track?’ He was like, ‘Fuck yeah.’ He drove to the studio that day, and we chopped it up and chilled.”

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LATE 2012 Joins forces with producer Bones of Ghosts Bones of Ghosts: “I’d released a couple beat tapes about a year before that I believe Grxzz (of Ghost Town Collective) had shown him, and he hit me up to say he was feeling what I was doing. We back-and-forthed a little and decided to do a track together, so I sent over some more beats. It then turned into doing an EP together which then evolved pretty quickly into the Ancient Lights record.”

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FEBRUARY 2013 Releases Ancient Lights as Sirius Blvck “That was my first record that I put out that I felt was an actual album. It sounded like an album. It read like an album.”

EARLY 2012 Askren brings together team of artists to be known as Ghost Town Collective, prior to releasing anything as Sirius Blvck “I was familiar with Heavy Gun, Rad Summer, Cut Camp, and all of these hip-hop crews. These were cats that had been doing it for a while. They’d been in the game since the time of Mudkids, and I just wanted to start my own collective.”

PHOTO BY OREO JONES

DECEMBER 2013 The release of Indian City Weather’s Fresh & Spirit “We put it out, we did no promotion for it and a week later we broke up and stopped doing music together, so it’s like a hidden gem.” FEBRUARY 2014

PHOTO BY OREO JONES

FEBRUARY 2012 Askren’s first-ever release as Sirius Blvck (an EP called Midnight Musik) comes out via Galt House Records “He put out my first EP on cassette, and then I started Smoke In The Trees and released that in May 2012.” APRIL 2012 Meets Freddie Bunz while recording a track for the third J. Brookinz Gateway release “It was my first time ever being invited to something like that as an artist. I had been to certain things as a spectator, just chillin’ back, but going as an artist and hanging out with all these dudes who I had seen online and heard a lot of shit about was really fucking awesome.”

Tours outside of Indiana for the first time with any group as a part of the Ghost Gun Summer Tour “Stepping in an ocean for the fist time and looking around and being like, ‘Damn. My music got me here,’ was a good feeling. It was rejuvenating. I came back with a new pair of eyes, ready to go. As soon as I got back, I started hammering down Light In The Attic and really going in on that.” AUGUST 2014 Performs as part of the Jay Brookinz 6th Annual Beat Battle “We had been doing Ghost Gun shit on tour, so we had these sets down like clockwork. So doing it on a larger stage and seeing the reaction from people was mind-blowing. That’s probably one of my favorite moments as Sirius Blvck.” DECEMBER 12 Celebrates the release of his latest album as Sirius Blvck, titled Light In The Attic, at The Hi-Fi “I found out I’m having a daughter, which was a big piece of this record. When I found that out, it kind of just kicked me into another gear. It made me reconsider my dreams and what I really want to do with my life, which was a good feeling.” n

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Institute for Relationship Research, Indianapolis

Do you drink alcohol? Are you in a romantic relationship? If you answered yes to both of these questions then you may be eligible to participate in a Purdue University study on the relationship between alcohol and behavior. Call the Purdue Institute for Relationship Research in Indianapolis at 317-222-4265, or go to http://sparc.psyc.purdue.edu to find out more about this study. If eligible, you will be compensated between $10 to $100. Must be 21 and over to participate.

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(WHO IS) BROAD RIPPLE

he shootings in Broad Ripple this summer provoked a wide range of reactions from the community and media. But for me the best response was the formation of I Am Broad Ripple, created by Tatjana Byrd, Andrew Yagi, Corey Ewing, Courtney ChesebroughWhister and Chez Roberts. The group formed with the dual purpose of promoting community-based arts and commerce, while confronting the negative portrayals of minority culture voiced in the aftermath of the shootings. Tatjana Byrd is probably best known for her work as host and promoter of the long-running monthly open mic night Vocab. In our conversation this week, Byrd explains the origins of I Am Broad Ripple. The group will host a Christmas toy drive at the Sabbatical, featuring live music from The Breakdown Kings, Sphie and Chemical Envy, on Dec. 17. NUVO: I understand that I Am Broad Ripple was formed around the idea of organizing a street festival celebrating the diverse culture of arts and commerce in the Broad Ripple neighborhood. How did that concept develop?

“There are musicians, artists and families here.”

A CULTURAL MANIFESTO

WITH KYLE LONG KLONG@NUVO.NET Kyle Long’s music, which features off-the-radar rhythms from around the world, has brought an international flavor to the local dance music scene.

NUVO: Where would you like to see I Am Broad Ripple go in the future? BYRD: We're talking about making it an actual non-profit. But I'd like to see it become something that's like more of a movement than to be a specific group that does specific things. I would love to see it inspire people to do work in the community. I want it to be more of a philosophy than a group. I worry about us getting bogged down in the politics of it. Right now no one is getting paid; we do this because we want to. I also want to see the music festival itself grow. NUVO: You've been in this neighborhood for a significant period of time. How have you seen the community change?

BYRD: I still remember being a kid walking around when there were pockets of skaters, straight-edgers — TATJANA BYRD and the bridge kids. I remember all the live music and art. As I've gotten older I see more and more of that stuff leaving. Not that there's necesTATJANA BYRD: One evening after my sarily anything bad about corporates open mic night Vocab, someone in the coming in, but I remember this being a audience said, "Wow, you should really mom and pop neighborhood where it do this out in the streets." I started talkwas nearly all local coffee shops and resing about that and thought we should throw a street festival. From there every- taurants and everything was a community. We've gotten help for I Am Broad thing really started to snowball. Ripple from some of the corporate busiAfter everything with the shooting hapness here and it's nice to see that. pened here, that was the moment we There's been sort of an exodus from the realized that there needed to be a positive neighborhood. Now when I say I'm from response in the neighborhood. Why not throw a street festival in Broad Ripple to help Broad Ripple, I hear people saying "I don't feel safe there anymore," or "I'd much bring people back in and show them it is a rather go to Irvington." That makes me lot more than a strip of bars for 22-year-olds kind of sad. That's part of the reason why to drink at. There are musicians, artists and we're doing this. This is a great neighborfamilies here. We held the first I Am Broad hood and it's a shame we aren't focusing Ripple festival on October 12th with several attention on the good things. n groups including Tony Styxx, Bashiri Asad, Jared Thompson, and many others. It was kind of amazing how it developed. The community really wanted it. The more people got involved, the more we realized it was necessary to continue doing it.

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SOUNDCHECK

JESUS Relient K 7:30 p.m. Holy shit. We cannot believe that Relient K is touring on the tenth anniversary of their Christian classic Mmhmm. We’ve got memories of listening to it in the car on the way to church camp; in the car on the way to youth group; in the car on the way to handbell choir rehearsal. Relient K will play Mmhmm in its entirety on this winter tour, and they’re releasing their Christmas album Let It Snow, Baby …. Let It Reindeer on vinyl, too. Get ready to go wild 2014-style at the merch table. Deluxe at Old National Centre, 502 N. New Jersey St., $23.50, all-ages

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Old Crow Medicine Show, Saturday at Old National Centre

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WEDNESDAY HOLIDAZE Mike Adams Show Christmas Special 9 p.m. Advance Base is the musical guest at this Mike Adams Christmas special taping, which starts at 9:30 p.m. This will be fun. Bishop, 123 S. Walnut St. (Bloomington), 18+ REGULARS Blues Jam 9 p.m. Every Wednesday Indiana natives The Blues Ambassadors perform at Main Event for Blues Jam Night until 1 a.m. This blues and soulsounding band includes four funky dudes that continue to put on an entertaining show week after week. On some nights the quartet also does live recording. Stop by and enjoy some beer, burgers and bumpin’ beats. Main Event, 7038 Shore Terrace, 21+ POP Sister Hazel 8 p.m. 15 years after the release of their first single “All For You,” Sister Hazel is still cranking out feel good, head bopping, toe tapping music. Optimistic lyrics and upbeat melodies have kept the alternative rock band relevant over the course of two decades, made evident by the fact that their album Release (2010) topped the charts at No. 37, the highest ranking for any of their albums. Great bands adapt and

Sister Hazel has done just that. Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave., $17 in advance, $20 at door, 21+ Martin Savage Gang, Raw McCartney, Laffing Gas, Lech, The Cream, all-ages The Staci McCrackin Duo, Sullivan’s Steakhouse, all-ages Landon Keller Acoustic, Union 50, 21+ The Dopacetics, Zakk Knight Band, Barrio Taco and Tequila Bar, all-ages until 10 p.m. Christopher Parrish, Chef Joseph’s at The Connoisseur Room, all-ages Open Mic, Max’s (Bloomington), all-ages Holly Reinhardt, Benjamin Brashear, Andrew Rosenfeld, Matt Riegal, Justin Lahr, Joel Auxier, Melody Inn, 21+

THURSDAY JAM The 500 Tour with Caspa 8 p.m. We all know music should be about vibes and feelings, not glitz and glamour which can be easily forgotten and usually is. It’s now time to strip away the hype and facade and to remind us what it’s really about. All that matters is a huge sound system, Caspa and 500 like-minded people engulfed by the sound and the vibe.The Others, Royal Sound System, Willie Grimez and several local acts provide support. Mousetrap, 5565 N. Keystone Ave., $15, 21+

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts, all-ages Vocab presents Lingo, Shoefly Public House, all-ages

DANCE Tony Beemer’s Midnight Donuts midnight The Hi-Fi is a bonafide concert venue – owned by the Do317 dudes – but also increasingly a newbie spot to dance. Tony Beemer hosts and DJs this late night dance party on Thursday, which features enough drink specials to ensure you’ll need an extra large coffee Friday morning. The Hi-Fi, 1043 Virginia Ave., Ste. 4, FREE, 21+ ROOTS Scott H. Biram 8 p.m. Scott H. Biram is the sort of guy who welcomes both the metal crowds and the country folk to his First Church of Ultimate Fanaticism. He’s also the guy who broke nearly every bone in his body in a head-on crash with an 18-wheeler at 75 mph and played his usual blistering live set while confined to a wheelchair and on an IV barely a month later. His newest and ninth full-length album, Nothin’ But Blood, portrays Biram either emerging from or collapsing back into a menacing red river, which befits both his Austin roots and his knack for clashing together the spiritual and the sacrilegious with unpredictable dexterity. It’s an album that finds him shouting, “Only whiskey can sleep in my bed” in his grizzled punk growl, delivering songs with titles like “Alcohol Blues” and “I’m Troubled” and putting new spins on “Back Door Man”, “John the Revelator” and “Amazing Grace.” — JUSTIN WESLEY

The Hi-Fi, 1043 Virginia Ave., Ste. 4, $12 in advance, $15 at door, 21+

Shimmercore, That Girl Suicide, Melody Inn, 21+

Murat Theatre at Old National Centre, 502 N. New Jersey St., prices vary, all-ages

Tiger Sex, Melody Inn, 21+

Bobby Bare Jr. 8 p.m. This singer-songwriter is popping up in Indy at a house show. His latest is out on Bloodshot (home of all sorts of great folk, alt-country and Americana) and is called Undefeated. As organizers say, bring your own refreshments and your best behavior. Byrdland, 3915 Byrd Dr., $22, all-ages

Clearnote Christmas Spectacular, Clearnote Church (Bloomington), all-ages

LOCALS

Jackson Mohr, Tin Roof, 21+

Sirius Blvck, Shame Thugs, White Moms, Absent Fathers 10 p.m. Peep our timeline of the man Blvck on page 22. The Hi-Fi, 1043 Virginia Ave., Ste. 4, $7, 21+

SATURDAY

HIP-HOP

The Tourniquets, Bikespeed Champion, Jerome Holloway, The Bishop (Bloomington), 18+

Frigid Friday 9 p.m. Get a straight dose of local hip-hop at this Sabbatical event, featuring DJ Trill Clinton, Zachery Le’on, Lucke Davis, Pope Adrian Bless, Taco, Diop, Son of Thought, Feeray and New Wave Collective. Want to see the new gen of emcees? This is your show. Sabbatical, 921 Broad Ripple Ave., 21+

Heart 2 Heart, Chef Joseph’s at The Connoisseur Room, all-ages

FRIDAY ALL-AGES I Will Define 6:30 p.m. The Hoosier Dome gives you a bang for your buck. 5 bands, $10. I Will Define, From Cities Above, Bivienni, Infamous, and The Creative all perform. Hoosier Dome, 1627 Prospect St., $10, all-ages ROCK Gabe Dixon, Matthew Santos 8 p.m. Between the two, the colossal credits roll in: Grammy nominations, collaborations with artists such as Alison Krauss, Lupe Fiasco, Supertramp, and Paul McCartney, and musical appearances in television and film. Both Gabe Dixon and Matthew Santos have performed in various bands and with various musicians over the years, it’s only natural that when the powerful songwriters headed out on a solo tour, they’d do it together. Warehouse, 254 1st Ave. SW, $22.50 in advance, $25 at door, all-ages ROCK Counting Crows, Twin Forks 8 p.m. We’ve got an interview with Adam Duritz up on NUVO.net for your reading pleasure.

Bashiri Asad, Union 50, 21+ Tennessee Walker, Rathskeller, 21+

HOUSE SHOW

Sarah Grain, Union 50, 21+

Andrew Velez Band, Tin Roof, 21+

Chad Lehr, Lisa Walks, PostWar Era, Indy Hostel, all-ages

Acheron, Into the Divine, Hatchling, Summon, Valdrin, Radiation, 5th Quarter Lounge, 21+ Injecting Strangers, Brother O’ Brother, Deezen, Grove Haus, all-ages Naughty or Nice: Holiday Party and Benefit for Boxcar Books and midwest Pages to Prisoners, The Bishop (Bloomington), 18+

The Main Squeeze, Vogue, 21+ Soul Street Live, Three D’s Pub, 21+ Dr. Spin, Smee’s Place, 21+ 220 Breakers, Buffalo Wabs, The Price Hill Hustle, Max’s ON The Square, all-ages 3:1, Mousetrap, 21+

DANCE Holiday Swing Dance Party 5:30 p.m. The Warehouse is throwing a party to rid you of the winter blues, and this bash is a community effort! They’ve invited the Cool City Band to fill the room with danceable tunes, so bring your dancing shoes! If your moves are a little rusty, like ourselves, they’ve got you covered. Instructors from the Five Star Dance Studio will be teaching lessons from 5:30 - 6:00 p.m. and again 7:15-7:45 to make sure you find your step. All the dancing and good vibes will work up those appetites, thus delectable appetizers will be available from A Cut Above Catering. And, of course, the Warehouse bar will be open for drinks (bring those IDs!). This event is open to the public, and all ages can attend. Warehouse, 254 1st Ave. SW (Carmel), $20, all-ages LOCALS State Park OCDC Tape Release Show 8 p.m. Out now on Holy Infinite Freedom Revival, State Park’s (Derek Miller, Carrington Clinton, Burke Sullivan, Keaton Whitehead, Josh Hicks) new album OCDC. The Bangs and S.M. Wolf will open. You can certainly grab a copy of their new tape at this show. Joyful Noise Recordings, 1043 Virginia Ave., Ste. 207, donations accepted, all-ages PRIDE

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Mina and The Wondrous Flying Machine, Saturday at Logan Street Sanctuary

Winter Pride 9 p.m. This brand new event is smack dab in the middle of this year’s Pride and next year’s Pride. But even though it’s just one night, not the multi-day summer Pride extravaganza, organizers say, “But we’re not making half an effort to bring you half a show; we’re going all out for this one! What better way to

NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // MUSIC 25


SOUNDCHECK

NOW OPEN J O I N T H E C LU B

kick off this new tradition than to bring back one of our favorite performers from this past year: Luciana! Her show is electrifying, not to be missed. Also returning to Indy is one of our community’s favorite DJs, Jared Curry, who moved to Miami a couple years ago. We’re also stoked about our latest addition to the Winter Pride line-up — JD Samson!” Samson (JD Samson and Men and Le Tigre) will also headline 2015’s Pride. Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave., 21+ ROOTS

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Old Crow Medicine Show 8 p.m. “I love the Egyptian Room by the way. It is one of my favorite theaters. What should they expect? Maybe a cab ride home instead of driving, because it’s gonna be a fun night,” Critter Fuqua said in an interview with NUVO writer Bryan Gill on Monday. We’ve got a full interview with the Fuqua on NUVO.net. Egyptian Room at Old National Centre, 502 N. New Jersey St., $30 in advance, $35 at door, all-ages LOCALS It’s A Shine Indy Christmas 9 p.m. At this Shine Indy (label-cum-promo company) event, EPs by Jeff Kelly, Steve Boller, Eric Pedigo and Emily Myren will be released and played in their entireties. Prizes and special guests are promised, too. Wear your best ugly Christmas sweater. Alley Cat, 6297 Carrollton Ave., $5, 21+

FYCs, The Hot Screams, Dirtbike, Mr. Clit and The Pink Cigarettes, house venue unlisted, all-ages John Dehner and The Enthusiasts, Merrie Sloan, Max’s On The Square (Bloomington), all-ages Boney James, Stanley Jordan, Murat Theatre at Old National Centre, all-ages Big City Steal, Whiskey Business, all-ages Blackberry Jam, Union 50 Sun Stereo, Earphorik, Mousetrap, 21+ Bashiri Asad, Hi-Fi, 21+ Dr. Spin, Hotel Tango, 21+ Big James and The Chicago Playboys, Birdy’s, 21+ Black VooDoo, Rathskeller, 21+ The Klezmatics, Loeb Playhouse (West Lafayette), all-ages The Bad Plus, Jazz Kitchen, 21+ Mina and The Wondrous Flying Machine, Logan Street Sanctuary, all-ages

SUNDAY FEST Sanders Family Holiday Must Fest noon This year-end festival of all things Fountain Square features: White Moms, Teach Me Equals, Chives, Latner Eyes, DMA, Digital Dots, Benny and The 26th and College Band, Sirius Blvck, John Flannelly, Hot Screams, Big Colour, Grxzz, Rachel Peacock (with John Mac Wood), Chris Dance and The Holy Echo, Wax TV, Jocks, Duncan Kissinger, Hen and Oreo Jones. Hats off to Jon Wood for coordinating this all day jamfest at DJ’s this (and most) Sundays.

BARFLY BY WAYNE BERTSCH

26 MUSIC // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO

DJ’s Lounge, 1707 Prospect St., donations accepted, 21+ ALL-AGES Lemuria, Prince 7 p.m. We see Lemuria every time we can. Which is often, because the Hoosier Dome brings them through a good amount. Thanks, Hoosier Dome. Hoosier Dome, 1627 Prospect St., $10, all-ages JAZZ The Buselli Wallarab Jazz Orchestra Holiday Show 6 p.m., 8:30 p.m. Back for another season The Buselli Wallarab Jazz Orchestra, one of the country’s finest, features selections from the Ellington Nutcracker and their own holiday gems. Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave., $25, 21+ The Good Bad Luckys, Indy Folk Series, all-ages Dave Koz and Friends Christmas Tour, Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts, all-ages Zonie’s Karaoke, Zonie’s Closet, 21+

TUESDAY DANCE Teklife Takeover at Broke(n) 10 p.m. This week, it’s a Teklife Ent. Takeover with DJ Taye, Sirr Tmo, G and a special guest, plus locals Ayokay Deejays (Jackola, DJ Brandon Patr!k) and David Peck. Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St., FREE, 21+ NUVO.NET/SOUNDCHECK


SEXDOC THIS WEEK

VOICES

EXCERPTS FROM OUR ONLINE COLUMN “ASK THE SEX DOC” W

e’re back with our resident sex doctor, Dr. Debby Herbenick of Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute. To see even more, go to nuvo.net!

NEWS

ARTS

MUSIC

CLASSIFIEDS

DR. DEBBY HERBENICK & SARAH MURRELL research, and continuing to be a good advocate for your own health. You can just have an honest discussion about your risks, and if he’s not willing to protect himself for your peace of mind, you gotta drop him like a hot potato.

DR. DEBBY: Anyone who has had sex can have an STI. It has nothing to do with his bisexual sexual orientation, it has to do with the fact that he has had oral, vaginal, or I’m a 19 yo virgin who’s been dating a 23 yo bi-sexual anal sex before. You said you’re a “virgin” but that doesn’t for almost a year. We talk all the time about sex, what tell me much - many virgins have had oral sex, for example, he digs, what sounds interesting and/or tempting to me so you too could have an STI. Why don’t you both get (pretty much everything) but recently, he’s been making tested for STIs together? Since he’s said he’s had playmates moves (all very arousing) but I can’t shake the “cherry in the past (even while partnered) I would also encourpop fear” My family says bi-sexuals are dangerous (STIs) age you to ask more about that. For one, if I were you I and he has mentioned that with his partners he also had would insist on condom use for the first 3-6 months you’re “playmates.” How do I get over my fear? How would I together or until you are 100% sure that he has no other bring up STIs without offending? Am I just being a sleez? playmates or, if he does, that he is having only protected sex — Anonymous, from Tumblr with them. And if you really want a monogamous partnership — whether this is a short-term or long-term relationship — I’d encourage you to ask more about his thoughts on relationships and monogamy and what constitutes okay outside behavior. Again, this isn’t about his bisexuality — people of all sexual orientation can have awesome sex and relationships. You two just need to make sure you’re on the same page. It’s not fair to you if you want something exclusive and then, a few weeks or months in, learn that he’s not at all into monogamy. Similarly, it’s not fair to him if you — DR. DEBBY act all cool about him having “playmates” on the side until he actually does. Finally, if his playmates are men, you need to make double, triple SARAH: I can’t get the image out of my head of your sure he is using condoms with his other partners, given the whole family gathered around the Thanksgiving turkey, all higher rate of STIs including HIV among men who have in festive sweaters, telling you about the sexual proclivities sex with men. Most men who have sex with men do not of those dangerous bisexuals. It’s one of those so-offenhave HIV, and again anyone of any orientation can have sive-it’s-almost-funny kind of prejudices, and reminds me an STI including HIV, but you really need to make sure you of the same people who like to lump all gay men into one, understand what the rules and bounds of your private and huge, sexually irresponsible ball of poppers and condomshared sex lives are about. less bath house sex. Of course there are plenty of bisexual Have a question? men who probably party a lot, have a lot of sex and don’t Email us at askthesexdoc@nuvo.net protect themselves. But those people exist across the or go to nuvosexdoc.tumblr.com sexuality continuum in every social setting (lookin’ at you, to write in anonymously. straighties). And bringing up STIs with your sexual partner is no less sleezy than bringing up a persistent cough to your doctor: of all the people in the world, that’s the one person you need to be talking about it with. And you NUVO.NET/BLOGS can do it without standing on a soapbox and shouting, “CLEANSE THYSELF, YOU WANTON SEX MANIAC, OR YOU SHALL NOT TOUCH THIS VIRGIN FORM!” You get Visit nuvo.net/blogs/GuestVoices over your fear by talking about it with him, doing some for more Sex Doc or to submit your own question.

Fly Bi Night

“Most men who have sex with men do not have HIV, and again anyone of any orientation can have an STI including HIV.”

NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // VOICES 27


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CLASSIFIEDS PAYMENT & DEADLINE

TO ADVERTISE:

All ads are prepaid in full by Monday at 5 P.M. Nuvo gladly accepts Cash, Money Order, & All Major Credit Cards.

Phone: (317) 254-2400 | Fax: (317) 479-2036 E-mail: classifieds@nuvo.net | www.nuvo.net/classifieds Mail: Nuvo Classifieds 3951 N. Meridian St., Suite 200 Indianapolis, Indiana 46208

POLICIES: Advertiser warrants that all goods or services advertised in NUVO are permissible under applicable local, state and federal laws. Advertisers and hired advertising agencies are liable for all content (including text, representation and illustration) of advertisements and are responsible, without limitation, for any and all claims made thereof against NUVO, its officers or employees. Classified ad space is limited and granted on a first come, first served basis. To qualify for an adjustment, any error must be reported within 15 days of publication date. Credit for errors is limited to first insertion.

EMPLOYMENT

PHONE ACTRESSES From Home. Must have dedicated land line And great voice. 21+ Up to $18 per hour. Flex HRS./most Wknds 1-800-403-7772 Lipservice.net (AAN CAN)

Restaurant | Healthcare | Salon/Spa | General To advertise in Employment, Call Kelly @ 808-4616

ACT NOW! Earn the income you deserve!! And the freedom that goes with it. No selling, MLM, or investment. Call 317-643-1015 24 Hrs. for FREE info

IMMEDIATE SEASONAL OPENINGS! Pick/Pack RF Scanners Material Handlers Full & Part-time $9.00 - $10.00 / hour Positions available in the east & northeast areas of Indianapolis

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HERE WE GROW AGAIN! WANT TO WORK FOR NUVO? NUVO is seeking a talented Event & Promotions Coordinator to join our high-performing Marketing & Promotions team. Ideal candidate should thrive in a fast paced, deadline driven environment while excelling in organization and attention to detail. The Events & Promotions Coordinator represents NUVO and works closely with community partners and sponsors, manages NUVO’s Street Team and intern programs, participates in event planning and execution, drives NUVO promotions, contest and marketing efforts including newsletters, slideshows, social media and on-site promotions. This position requires a highly motivated, energetic, self-driven, good under pressure person who has a passion for Indianapolis and the NUVO culture. If you think you have what it takes to work for Indy’s Alternative Voice, send resume to Mary Morgan, Director of Sales & Marketing at mmorgan@nuvo.net

GENERAL

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30 CLASSIFIEDS // 12.10.14 - 12.17.14 // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO

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MARKET REAL ESTATE PLACE Services | Misc. for Sale Musicians B-Board | Pets To advertise in Marketplace, Call Kelly @ 808-4616

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Homes for sale | Rentals Mortgage Services | Roommates To advertise in Real Estate, Call Kelly @ 808-4616

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Libra

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Lord Byron (1788-1824) was an English poet who loved animals. In the course of his life, he not only had dogs and cats as pets, but also monkeys, horses, peacocks, geese, a crocodile, a falcon, a crane, and a parrot. When he enrolled in Trinity College at age 17, he was upset that the school’s rules forbade students from having pet dogs, which meant he couldn’t bring his adored Newfoundland dog Boatswain. There was no regulation, however, against having a tame bear as a pet. So Byron got one and named it Bruin. I think it’s time for you to find a workaround like that, Aries. Be cunning. Try a gambit or two. Find a loophole. Aries

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baby teeth as a kid, I put it under my pillow before I went to sleep. During the night, the Tooth Fairy sneaked into my room to snatch the tooth, and in its place left me 25 cents. The same crazy thing happened to every kid I knew, although for unknown reasons my friend John always got five dollars for each of his teeth — far more than the rest of us. I see a metaphorically comparable development in your life, Taurus. It probably won’t involve teeth or a visit from the Tooth Fairy. Rather, you will finalAPRIL ly be compensated for a loss or deprivation or disappearance that you experienced in the past. I expect the restitution will be generous, too — more like John’s than mine.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22): No other structure on the planet is longer than the Great Wall of China, which stretches 3,945 miles. It’s not actually one unbroken span, though. Some sections aren’t connected, and there are redundant branches that are roughly parallel to the main structure. It reminds me of your own personal Great Wall, which is monumental yet permeable, strong in some ways but weak in others, daunting to the casual observer but less so to those who take the time to study it. Now is an excellent time to take inventory of that wall of yours. Is it serving you well? Is it keeping out the influences you don’t want but allowing in the influences you do want? Could it use some renovation? Are you willing to reimagine what its purpose is and how you want it to work for you in the future? Gemini

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Arctic Monkeys are British

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enrolled in a course of study or a training program, you are nevertheless being schooled. Maybe you’re not fully conscious of what you have been learning. Maybe your teachers are disguised or unwitting. But I assure you that the universe has been dropping some intense new knowledge on you. The coming week will be an excellent time to become more conscious of the lessons you have been absorbing. If you have intuitions about where this educational drama should go next, be proactive about making that happen. Aries

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You now have a special

ability to detect transformations that are happening below the threshold of everyone else’s awareness. Anything that has been hidden or unknown will reveal itself to your gentle probes. You will also be skilled at communicating your discoveries to people who are important to you. Take full advantage of these superpowers. Don’t underestimate how pivotal a role you can play as a teacher, guide, and catalyst. The future success of your collaborative efforts depends on your next moves. Scorpio

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Harper Lee was born

and raised in Alabama. At the age of 23, she relocated to New York City with hopes of becoming a writer. It was a struggle. To support herself, she worked as a ticket agent for airline companies. Finding the time to develop her craft was difficult. Seven years went by. Then one Christmas, two friends gave her a remarkable gift: enough money to quit her job and work on her writing for a year. During that grace period, Lee created the basics for a book that won her a Pulitzer Prize: To Kill a Mockingbird. I don’t foresee anything quite as dramatic for you in the coming months, Sagittarius. But I do suspect you will receive unexpected help that provides you with the slack and spaciousness you need to lay the foundations for a future creation. Sagittarius

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the ancient Greek

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Through the scientific magic of grafting, a single tree can be altered to grow several different kinds of fruit at the same time. One type of “fruit salad tree” produces apricots, nectarines, plums, and peaches, while another bears grapefruits, lemons, oranges, limes, and tangelos. I’m thinking this might be an apt and inspiring symbol for you in the coming months, Gemini. What multiple blooms will you create on your own metaphorical version of a fruit salad tree?

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Even if you are not formally

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epic poem the Odyssey, Odysseus’s wife Penelope describes two kinds of dreams. “Those that that pass through the gate of ivory,” she says, are deceptive. But dreams that “come forth through the gate of polished horn” tell the truth. Another ancient text echoes these ideas. In his poem the Aeneid, Virgil says that “true visions” arrive here from the land of dreams through the gate of horn, whereas “deluding lies” cross over through the gate of ivory. Judging from the current astrological omens, Capricorn, I expect you will have interesting and intense dreams flowing through both the gate of ivory and the gate of horn. Will you be able to tell the difference? Trust love. Capricorn

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rockers who have produced five studio albums, which together have sold almost five million copies. Rolling Stone magazine called their first album, released in 2003, the 30th greatest debut of all time. Yet when they first formed in 2002, none of them could play a musical instrument. I see the current era of your life, Leo, as having a similar potential. How might you start from scratch to create something great?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your chances of going viral are better than usual. It’s a perfect moment to upload a Youtube video of yourself wearing a crown of black roses and a V for Vendetta mask as you ride a unicycle inside a church and sing an uptempo parody version of “O Come All Ye Faithful.” It’s also a favorable time for you to create a buzz for you and your pet causes through less spectacular measures. Promote yourself imaginatively.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Alan Turing (1912-1954) was a British mathematician and pioneering computer scientist. After World War II broke out, he got worried that the German army might invade and occupy England, as it had done to France. To protect his financial assets, he converted everything he owned into bars of silver, then buried them underground in the countryside north of London. When the war ended, he decided it was safe to dig up his fortune. Unfortunately, he couldn’t recall where he had put it, and never did find it. Let’s draw a lesson from his experience, Virgo. It’s fine if you want to stash a treasure or protect a secret or safeguard a resource. That’s probably a sensible thing to do right now. But make sure you remember every detail about why and how you’re doing it.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): At age 80, author Joan Didion has published five novels, ten works of nonfiction, and five screenplays. When she was 27, she wrote, “I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.” That wasn’t a good thing, she added: “We are welladvised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.” I recommend her counsel to you in the coming months, Pisces. Get reacquainted with the old selves you have outgrown and abandoned.

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