Sonoma Family Life February 2015

sonoma February 2015

Teens & Digital Love Advice from an expert

Guide to Local Birds

Discover these winged wonders

Online Dating How to do it right

7 Valentine’s Day Hot dates

It’s a love story you’ll tell a thousand times.

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The iLearn Fair online is your one stop educational resource. Read interesting articles and discover great educational resources, activities, and guides.

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February 2015

Feature Stories

10

10 Cyber Dating

How to navigate the ups and downs of looking for romance on the Internet.

16 Help! My Teenager Fell In Love Online

Psychologist Winifred Lloyds Lender offers advice.

18 You & Your Budding Birder Have fun getting acquainted with our area’s feathered friends.

22 Be a Better In-law Tips for helping your relationship run smoothly.

18

28 4 SonomaFamilyLife

24 To the Moon & Back Learn your child’s love language.

Every Issue 6

Dear Reader

8

Bits and Pieces

Launch Your Child into the World

Kids Will Love This After-hours Party

Get Down to Motown

Have a Whale of a Good Time

26 Kids Craft

28 Family Fun Valentine’s Day Delights

30 Calendar of Events Celebrate the Year of the Sheep

38 Cooking with Kids Cupid’s Calzone

39 Marketplace 42 Humor Break

Little Somethings

SonomaFamilyLife.com February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

SFZ-RRA-FamLife.pdf

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1/21/15

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5 Things You’ll Love on the NEW The best family FUN events calendar

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February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 5

Dear Reader

F

ebruary is the month we celebrate love— both romantic and familial.

If you’re looking for some place Sharon Gowan nice to take your Publisher/Editor sweetie, check Sharon@family-life.us out “Valentine’s Day Delights” (page 28) for some fabulous options, including beautiful local wineries.

If you are single, the idea of looking for love online has probably crossed your mind. Internet dating is becoming more and more popular. Our article “Cyber Dating” (page 10) will help you avoid the pitfalls of dating online, and make it work for you. (Look for special tips for single parents on page 14.)

class, your teen’s first crush may be someone he or she met on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. In “Help! My Teenager Fell in Love Online” (page 16), psychologist Winifred Lloyds Lender, Ph.D., talks about how to handle your kids’ digital affairs of the heart.

Office Manager Patricia Ramos patty@family-life.us

Business Marketing

Even though teens may push away their parents in favor of hanging out with their friends (virtual and real), they still need the love of Mom and Dad. It just may be a little challenging to figure out how to give it to them in a way that they can receive it. “To the Moon & Back” (page 24) will help you to figure out how to best express affection to not only your teen, but to every member of your family.

Jolie Cook jolie@family-life.us Renee Nutcher renee@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager

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While your first love was probably the boy or girl you sat next to in math

Jordan Lewis jordan@family-life.us

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Contributing Writers Patrick Hempfing John Corippo Denise Morrison Yearian Christina Katz Jan Pierce Sara Barry Jane Barteau

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SonomaFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

Launch Your Child into the World

G

oing from high schooler to working adult can be daunting, especially for kids with special needs. Enter the annual free Transition Fair, which features more than 40 agencies that provide higher education, job training, employment, day programs, living options, and health services to adults with disabilities. Students and their families can talk with agency representatives and pick up informational brochures. This year’s event will be held on February 25, 3–6 p.m., at the Sonoma County Office of Education in Santa Rosa. The fair is open to middle school, high school, and post-secondary students and their families. Advanced registration is not required. Call 522-3208 or see scoe.org for more information. ¶

Kids Will Love This After-hours Party

W

hat happens at the Charles M. Schulz Museum after night falls? À la Ben Stiller’s 2006 film Night at the Museum, do Snoopy and Sally come to life and play?

Let your kids find out at the Santa Rosa museum’s after-hours event for children on February 21, 5–9 p.m. Little ones will eat dinner, play games, do arts and crafts, and even have fun with cartooning. Advanced reservations are required. The cost is $32 per child for nonmembers, $25 for members; $5 off for siblings. See schulzmuseum.org for more information and to register. ¶

Get Down to Motown

M

ahalia Jackson, Fats Waller, Dorothy Dandridge, Stevie Wonder—these African-American greats are each threads in the fabric of black cultural history.

The North Bay Black Chamber of Commerce’s Black History around the World event will give you a taste, through fashion and music, of the eras when these and other African-American performers thrived. Eat soul food cooked up by three local chefs; see a fashion show featuring African garments, as well as American clothes from the 1920s to the 80s; and dance to the music of Motown. The event will be held on February 7, 5:30–9 p.m., at Spreckels Performing Arts Center in Rohnert Park. Tickets are $35 and may be purchased at http://nbbcc.org/ home-black-chamber-commerce.html. ¶

8 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

I

Have a Whale of a Good Time

t’s that magical time of year when whales migrate, letting us witness their barnacled backs, forked tails, and spouts spraying water. From January to April, gray whales swim from the Bering Sea to warm Baja lagoons, where they mate and/or give birth, and then travel back to the frigid waters surrounding Alaska. Bodega Head is a prime spot to see the whales along their journey. In the middle of February, you can see whales traveling both south and north; going north, they usually stay closer to shore, especially moms and calves, which are often seen in April. According to longtime local whaler Norma Jellison, mom/calf pairs often stop to rest and nurse on the jetty side of the Head, close enough to see the barnacles that are responsible for the gray whale’s mottled appearance. Volunteers from the Stewards of the Coast and Redwoods staff the Head on weekends from 1–4 p.m. to show newbies the ropes. See stewardscr.org/cms/pages/index.html and sonomauncorked.com (search on “whale”) for more information. ¶

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February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 9

Cyber L Dating

By Jane Barteau

Will You Find Romance Online?

10 SonomaFamilyLife

oneliness is part of the human condition. We all “want somebody to love,” to quote Jefferson Airplane. And for lots of people friendship doesn’t cut it. They want a mate. But where to find one if bars and parties just aren’t your thing? Well if you’re like 38 percent of what the Pew Research Center calls “single and looking Americans,” you’ve posted a profile online or have used a dating app.

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Like it or not, digital romance is here to stay. The stigma that was once attached to it has passed. Fifty-nine percent of Americans have decided that online dating is a good way to meet people. One quarter of online daters have entered into a marriage or long-term relationship with someone they met on online. You probably know some of them. I myself have been seeing for more than a year a

Fifty-nine percent of Americans have decided that online dating is a good way to meet people. man I met on OKCupid. And I know of a handful of other people who are either married or committed to someone they first met in cyberspace.

Among my friends (names have been changed), writer Sally met her new wife, Barb, a web designer, on Match.com.

Graphic designer Dan met his partner, Joni, a therapist, on OkCupid, and now they are planning to have children together. And my favorite example, Bridget, met her now husband in an online game of poetry tag.

Google “stories of couples who met online” and you’ll find many more such examples.

So if you’re looking for a mate, maybe it’s not such a bad idea to try the online world of romance. But as my mom always told me, you’ve gotta take the bad with the good. And, trust me, there’s plenty of bad.

For a preview, read Salon.com blogger Victoria Carlson’s August 2011 post “OKCupid, I’m Done” in which the Los Angeles writer and single mom www.sonomafamilylife.com

details some colossally wretched dates, like the unemployed man who lived with his mother and used unspeakably derogatory language to describe women, or the guy who admitted he occasionally beat his dog, or the one who chain-smoked and went on and on about how much he couldn’t stand his ex-wife. Her experiences fall in line with a Marin County woman I spoke with, I’ll call her Helen, who had endured many a man behaving inappropriately.

Men have their horror stories, too.

A Sonoma County man (I’ll name him Ben) who’s been online dating on and off since 2004 shared several tales with me. There was the time that a woman he’d spent the day hiking with and then took out for a drink told him bluntly, not five seconds after he paid what had become her $120 bar bill, “I want you to know that at no time during this day have I ever thought there was February 2015

any chemistry between us.” And he never saw her again. Or the woman who sent him an excessively vitriolic communication simply because, after a few brief friendly e-mail exchanges, he’d politely declined her request to go out on a date.

“There’s no etiquette. People act in ways they would never act in the real world.”—Ben “There’s no etiquette. People act in ways they would never act in the real world. And it can be very hurtful, especially for newbies,” he says.

While these kinds of stories abound, there are plenty of online dating experiences that aren’t awful, just perplexing. I put those in what I call my “Say What?” file. For example, the No Show-ers, such as the woman with whom Ben spent several months engaged in an extensive e-mail SonomaFamilyLife 11

“My Year on Match.com.” Her first Vanisher was a man she describes as a “creative venture capitalist” who was familiar with her writing. They had great conversations and a few really nice dates, with texts and e-mails in between.

And then he fell off the face of the Earth.

“If I wanted to go for five days without hearing from a man with whom I had chemistry and three almost perfect dates, I would repeat junior high,” the 58-year-old Lamott quipped.

And it kept on happening. “This pattern repeated,” she wrote, “a flurry of dates, followed by radio silence on the man’s part.”

Helen said that she’d experienced the Disappearing Act on multiple occasions, exchange, but who never wanted to meet for an actual date.

However frustrating, Ben’s experience is not unusual. Lots of people who meet online never actually meet each other face-to-face.

They are like the digital dating version of armchair anthropologists: They thoroughly enjoy learning all about the natives, but from a safe distance. (And given the experiences of Victoria, Helen, and Ben, we can understand why.) The numbers of people who do get up the courage to meet someone is growing, though.

According to the Pew Research Center, 66 percent of online daters meet up with someone at least once.

But meeting up with someone is just half the battle. You also have to be interested enough in each other to continue connecting, which 12 SonomaFamilyLife

brings me to the second, and more upsetting, addition to the “Say What?” file: the Vanishers. Anyone who has online dated for more than a month has been through one of their Disappearing Acts.

It looks something like this: You meet a fantastic person. You both seem to be totally into each other; you love talking and spending time together; the chemistry is palpable. You go on one, two, even three or four dates. And then, bam, Mr. or Ms. Right never calls again. He or she doesn’t respond to texts or calls or e-mails. Your new person is just flat out gone.

Anne Lamott, Bay Area author of the popular parenting memoir Operating Instructions: A Diary of My Son’s First Year (Anchor, 2005), describes this phenomenon in her humorous 2013 Salon.com essay

Maybe what makes you click with another person is ineffable, a mystery. too. So has my single-mother friend in Denver, and Ben, and, yes, me. I had several wonderful dates with a psychologist I seriously liked who just simply went away.

What’s going on with the Vanishers?

A 2012 Psychological Science in the Public Interest report, which analyzed 400 studies on online dating, points to a reasonable cause: an over-abundance of choices.

While you might not necessarily assume that the guy you met at the grocery store is seeing several other women, you can bet that the guy you met online is. He may have gone out on a date with you, but the pictures

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

from 100 other profiles are floating through his head. Indeed, my psychologist friend finally mentioned there was someone else he was interested in.

Ukiah therapist Lesley Osman, MFT, said that she thought, with so many profiles to choose from, people “may very well have an ‘on to the next one’ mentality.” And she would be right. It’s a mindset that leads to what Bay Area sex and relationship coach Celeste Hirschman, M.A., calls “disposable dating.” If you don’t get instantly what you want from someone, there’s another choice on the next screen. It’s “very dehumanizing,” Hirschman and her colleague Dr. Danielle Harel wrote in a March 2014 Huffington Post article, which suggests ways to online date with kindness.

According to the Psychological Science study, the plethora of online dating choices isn’t even that good for us. It may seem fun at first, but it can be overwhelming. And, what’s more, those two-dimensional profiles (in which people often lie about age, weight, and height) can lead to the objectification of potential romantic partners. We don’t see the other person as a human being, but as an option—and one we’re not happy with at that.

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Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., now a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University and the study’s lead author, explained to the Washington Post the problem of having too many choices.

“You end up a bit less satisfied with the thing you choose… ,” he said. “And you’re less likely to commit to that www.sonomafamilylife.com

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What about those scientific algorithms that online dating sites such as Chemistry.com and eHarmony promise will connect you with your ideal partner? The Psychological Science study found that they don’t really work either.

They match people based on similar or complementary traits, neither of which were found to determine long-term relationship success.

Still, online dating services pull you in with the idea that they can hook you up with your soul mate (or at least a boyfriend or girlfriend). But maybe what it comes down to is that what makes you click with another person is ineffable, a mystery. And who says finding a soul mate is all

option. It’s like, ‘Eh, there’s something better out there,’ or ‘I’m overloaded.’”

So having a lot of choices isn’t very helpful. Neither are profiles, Finkel said, because often what we think we want, and what we end up being attracted to, can be very different.

Hirschman’s experience, as both someone who has online dated and who works with clients who use online dating sites, reflects this. She says that meeting up with a person based on information in a profile doesn’t have a lot to do with real chemistry. People end up going after what they “think they want with their heads rather than what they want with their hearts and bodies,” she says. The result may be having a drink with someone who looks great on paper but in person doesn’t do a thing for you.

14 SonomaFamilyLife

Digital Dating Savvy for Single Parents Online dating for the single parent is a little more complex than for the childless. There are many questions: Do you mention that you have kids in your profile? Do you talk about them on a first date? Will anybody even be interested in you? (Yes they will! More on that later.)

Most of the experts think you should mention that you have children (“You teach your kids not to lie, right?,” they say), but mention them only briefly.

Then use your profile to talk about yourself. Same goes for the date itself.

Don’t pull out the wallet of adorable baby photos just yet—give your full attention to the one-on-one connection with your date.

Of course, as a relationship progresses there will be issues to address. Your girlfriend or boyfriend may not agree with your parenting style, or may not get along with your co-parent or ex. She or he might not understand that the role of mom or dad is already taken. The list goes on.

Despite these kinds of complexities, the stats show that single parents are successful in the dating world. A recent Match.com study found that 67 percent of men and 59 percent of women would date a single parent. And more than half of single parents prefer dating other single parents. All in all, those are some pretty good odds.

Even better, think about this: A Kinsey Institute study found that single parents of kids under the age of five have just as much sex as singles without children.

So whether or not you see yourself as “dateable,” the data say that you are.

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Think about what you want— and then be open to what pops up in your inbox. are on a journey of growth and learning. It’s the people who value the friendship aspect of their relationship who end up feeling in love and committed, and having great sex, in the long run.

So if you are single, and you do decide to try online dating, think about what you want—and then be open to what pops up in your inbox. Be aware that you won’t always be relating to the nicest of people, so be sure your thick skin is firmly in place. When you meet someone you like, maybe give him or her a chance before flying off to the next opportunity. And if you find yourself still looking after way too long, ask yourself if your relationship ideal is getting in the way of you being with someone who can really be your friend, as well as your lover. If you are patient, discriminating, and willing to be pleasantly surprised you may just find somebody to love. ¶ Jane Barteau is the pseudonym of a Sonoma County freelance writer.

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Help! My Teenager Fell In Love Online Family Life Talks to an Expert

G

one are the days of kids passing notes in class. Now teens send texts and e-mails across school corridors—and continents. Your child’s first crush could be someone who lives in England, a person she or he has never met, except on Facebook or some other social media venue. Of course, it’s important to talk to your child’s friend or romantic interest, and his or her parents, to establish that these people actually exist and that they aren’t predators. But after you’ve done this, then what? How can you

16 SonomaFamilyLife

help your child navigate his or her online relationships? To find out, we asked psychologist Winifred Lloyds Lender, Ph.D., author of A Practical Guide to Parenting in the Digital Age: How to Nurture Safe, Balanced, and Connected Children and Teens

(CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2014).

FL: Some children can feel that they have actually fallen in love through texts, Skype calls, and other forms of digital interaction. How should a parent respond to this?

WLL: Parents should take online teen

romances seriously. Teens can develop very strong feelings for those they have relationships with online. They can feel that online relationships are more meaningful to them than any face-to face relationships. Part of this may be due to the fact that they feel less anxious or threatened, and more accepted, by virtual relationships.

Parents should not assume these relationships are not real, and they can provide structure around them.

FL: To what extent should parents support online relationships? Allow phone and Skype calls? Buy tickets to see a friend or romantic interest?

WLL: Parents should strive to create balance for their teens. A balance of real and virtual relationships is important. Limits can be set around the amount of time, and time of day, virtual communication can occur and this can be contingent on maintaining face-to-face relationships and contacts with friends. Parents need to do their

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

due diligence around any planned visit of a virtual romantic partner and determine carefully what limits and structure they will set for such a visit. In addition, parents need to have information about the virtual friend and should consider learning more about the friend and contacting their parents.

FL: If a real-time visit happens between two teens who meet online, what kind of guidance can parents give their kids about how to approach it?

WLL: Parents need to know their teen and work with them to explore their teen’s expectations or fantasies about meeting a virtual friend in real life. They should also talk to teens about the structure and limits of such an encounter and what supervision parents will provide.

Role-playing an exit strategy—a way for a teen to remove him or herself from an uncomfortable meeting—is important.

FL: What kinds of expectations do you find teens have of their online interests?

WLL: Some teens believe that online interests will understand them better than their real friends as they can be more open with virtual friends without risking embarrassment they might feel with real world friends. Teens who are socially isolated might feel a quicker and more intense connection to a virtual friend.

FL: What kind of advice can you give to parents who are worried their kids will keep their online romances secret?

WLL: Open communication with teens is key. Parents need to cultivate their relationship with their teens and show interest in all parts of their lives in a supportive way that shows unconditional love. Parents should tell teens that they shouldn’t be afraid to tell them anything and that they want to be helpful and supportive.

FL: Should you have a sex talk with a teen before they meet an online interest? www.sonomafamilylife.com

WLL: It is important that parents educate their teens about sex before any contact with potential romantic partners, real or virtual. Even though there has been no physical contact, virtual friends can quickly become romantic partners.

Parents need to talk with their teens about this and ensure that they are knowledgeable and safe.

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FL: What role does sexting play in teen dating?

WLL: Sexting—the sending of sexually provocative texts, photos, or videos—has become popular among teens and young adults. Recent studies report that 28–54 percent of teens engage in sexting. Drexel University found that 54 percent of teens reported sexting prior to age 18, with some starting as early as 13; and a study at Temple University reported that 25 percent of respondents sexted.

Most often sexting occurs within the context of a romantic relationship. Teens sext often due to peer pressure, and the desire to appear “mature” and to please their romantic partners. While only 8 percent of the respondents in the Drexel study reported experiencing negative consequences as a result of sexting, the consequences of sexting can be severe and life-long. Although sexts are typically meant for a romantic partner, they can be shared with others via forwarding the photo or message, or taking a screen shot of the image and then sending it to others. Twenty-six of the respondents in the Drexel study reported sharing with others sexts that they had received. Anecdotal reports of sexts being shared with an entire school or on social media abound and have led to suicide attempts. Most teens are not aware that sexting between minors is illegal as it can be considered the sending or receiving of child pornography. Educating teens about the illegality of sexting and consequences such as jail time and being registered as a sex offender have been shown to impact teens sexting behavior. ¶ February 2015

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Green Heron See more pictures of birds you’ll find in the North Bay at sonomafamilylife.com.

You & Your

Budding Birder

Hermit Thrush

Get Friendly with BayArea Winged Ones

By Sara Barry

W

ho hasn’t looked up at a flock of birds flying in perfect synchrony over a Sonoma County vineyard and felt a sense of wonder? Kids, especially, are thoroughly charmed by fluttering wings and mellifluent calls. Winter, when other outdoor activities may be limited, is a great time to put up a feeder and have your family get to know these creatures that wander the sky and sit atop trees (and the occasional telephone pole). If you can’t tell a sparrow from a swallow, don’t worry.

Part of the fun is learning—and you and your family can do it together.

18 SonomaFamilyLife

Getting Started. You don’t need much to start bird watching. The first thing to do is easy as pie: Just let your little feathered friends capture your attention—notice them wherever you go. The best time to see them is early morning or late afternoon. Look right in your backyard, or get fancy and go to wilder places like ponds, marshes, meadows, and wildlife preserves. Sonoma County has some fantastic birding locations. Check out sonomafamilylife.com for some suggestions.

Northern Flicker

Take note of one or two that you spot often and then look them up in a field guide or use an app like Audubon Birds or Merlin from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology.

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Photos by David Bogener • naturescapes.net

Enrolling for Fall 2015 If you can’t quite identify markings with a naked eye, pick up a pair of binoculars. The website bestbinocularsreviews. com advises that kids do well with low-powered binoculars (a maximum of 8x), which produce brighter images in poor light. A high field of view (FOV), which makes it easier for kids to locate and focus on a distant object, is also helpful. The most important thing, however, is that the binoculars are light, and small enough for your kids to carry and use.

Once you’ve found a nice pair of binoculars, use a small notebook to track the birds you see.

Encourage your kids to draw pictures or note details: colors of the bird’s body, wings, feet, and beak as well as any distinctive markings; the general shape of the bird, including any unique features such as long legs, long neck, or a large bill or beak; the shape of the wings (pointed or rounded?) and the tail (forked or not?). Lastly, you and the kids can have fun figuring out the size of the bird compared to objects in the house.

Is it smaller than the toothpaste tube?

Bigger than your iPod? Your eyes may be the most obvious tool to track birds, but ornithologists use their ears, too, identifying winged ones by sounds as well as sight. Check out allaboutbirds.org, the website of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, to www.sonomafamilylife.com

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listen to recordings that showcase the different pitches, tones, and rhythms of bird calls and songs.

Special “in-house” feeders rest inside your window and have birds pecking at feed practically in your lap.

If You Feed Them, They Will Come. Have you been on the lookout, but have seen nary a feathered critter? Put out the universal welcome sign for animals— food. You can buy a wooden bird feeder, build your own from scratch or a kit, or make a simple one from materials you likely have on hand. (You can even find special “in-house” feeders that rest inside your window and have birds pecking at feed practically in your lap.) The National Museum of Animals and Society suggests spreading peanut butter on toast or a bagel, sprinkling the whole thing with dried fruit or February 2015

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seeds, and then hanging it outside. You can also try mixing peanut butter with cornmeal and spreading it on a large pinecone.

Birds have a broader palate than you might think; don’t limit their menu to just seeds and peanut butter. For instance, robins and bluebirds like fruit. The National Audubon Society recommends soaking raisins or currants and then putting them in a table feeder, or hanging orange halves near your feeders.

Seed and fruit don’t just feed your bird-watching habit, they also provide birds much needed sustenance during winter’s scarcity. Remember to place your feeder in a safe place away from predators. You don’t want your feathered friends to hang out where they are easy prey for the neighborhood cat.

Build a Home Sweet Home.

Besides food, birds also need a place to rest and birth their young. A well-ventilated box made of untreated wood will do. Pay particular attention to the size of the entrance hole: If it’s too small, it will keep out the birds you may hope to attract; if it’s too big, it will let in aggressive birds and predators. Also make sure to include a baffle to keep away predators.

Blue Grosbeak

Acorn Woodpecker

The Right Bird, Right House tool at allaboutbirds.org will help you build a house suitable for birds likely to nest in your area. You can even find instructions on the site for installing a nest-box camera. However, you don’t have to have your own camera set up to see birds in action. There

Birds have a broader palate than you might think; don’t limit their menu to just seeds and peanut butter. are web cams all over the world that let viewers in on the day-to-day activities of nesting birds, even those hatching eggs. For a list of cams, see Avibase: The World Bird Database at avibase.bsc-eoc.org/ avibase.jsp?lang=EN&pg=home.

Crunch Your Numbers. After you’ve set up your feeder or box, have some fun and count the birds you’ve drawn in. Submit your numbers to the Great Backyard Bird Count, which runs February 13–16

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February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

and is sponsored by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology and the National Audubon Society. It takes as little as 15 minutes a day to participate.

Check out gbbc.birdcount.org for more details and to sign up.

Birding is an easy way to hang out with your clan and get to know

some of the winged beauties that inhabit the scenic Bay Area. Who knows? Maybe this winter, your new family bird-watching hobby will take flight. ¶ Sara Barry is a writer in Massachusetts who loves seeing the flash of a red cardinal dart across a winter sky.

Birding Hot Spots Annadel State Park, Santa Rosa Crane Creek Regional Park, Rohnert Park Doran Regional Park, Bodega Bay Foothill Regional Park, Windsor Helen Putnam Regional Park, Petaluma Ragle Ranch Park, Sebastopol Spring Lake Park, Santa Rosa Sugarloaf Ridge State Park, Kenwood Willow Creek Road, Jenner House Finch

For more bird-watching locales, see colintalcroft.com.

Your Backyard Visitors

What to Look For

So what kinds of birds can you expect to see from your kitchen window? It depends on the kind of feeder and food you use, and what trees and sources of water are in your yard. To find out more about what attracts different kinds of birds, go to Santa Rosa’s Wild Birds Unlimited’s website at santarosa. wbu.com, where you’ll also find a list of birds that frequent our neck of the woods. To find out more about these birds, go to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology’s terrific Online Bird Guide at birds.cornell.edu/ onlineguide. For the best Sonoma County places to go find them, see colintalcroft.com. Here are a few of our area’s feathered friends to get your family started with bird-watching.

American Goldfinch Anna’s Hummingbird Black-headed Grosbeak California Quail California Towhee Chestnut-back Chickadee Dark-eyed Junco Gold-crowned Sparrow House Finch House Sparrow Lesser Goldfinch Mourning Dove Oak Titmouse Pileated Woodpecker Pine Siskin Purple Finch Spotted Towhee Stellar’s Jay White-breasted Nuthatch White-crowned Sparrow

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February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 21

Be a Better In-law 21 Tips for Creating Strong Family Ties

By Jan Pierce

I

remember the day my son announced his engagement.

I was thrilled—just filled with happiness for him and his intended bride. But soon after came the realization that I’d be a mother-in-law. I wasn’t quite as thrilled.

Why? Well to be honest, mothersin-law have a bad reputation for heavy-handedness, unwanted advice, and seeing no wrong in their precious sons (or daughters), even when they’re acting like rats.

How do we combat the stereotype and craft a better mother-in-law/ daughter-in-law relationship?

To get to the heart of the matter, I e-mailed some of my women friends and asked them to comment on their relationships with their in-laws. When 22 SonomaFamilyLife

Learn to trust and let go. Many younger women spoke of feelings of uncertainty and a lack of confidence as they took on the responsibilities of being a wife and developing a relationship with their mothers-in-law, whom they barely knew. Those who went on to develop a positive relationship, even a friendship, with their mothers-in-law went through a time of testing during which mutual trust was developed.

Get your spouse’s support.

Another young woman spoke of feeling offended and even attacked when her mother-in-law dispensed unwanted advice and criticism about matters such as time management, finances, and disciplining her children. The relationship was in jeopardy—until the young woman’s husband stepped up and stood by her.

Once she felt affirmed by her spouse, she was free to see her mother-in-law’s advice not as condemning, but as an expression of opinion that she was free to accept or ignore.

Accept what is. One of the loveliest replies I got was from a woman in her fifties who had learned to accept her mother-in-law just as she is—a quirky, sometimes inappropriate, and seemingly unloving person. Her mother-in-law gave strange re-gifts rather than store-bought ones, and was not interested in playing the role of a loving grandmother. Even given these qualities, this woman felt determined to love her mother-in-law as she was and not as she wished she would be.

Respect each other. Whenever one of the survey respondents mentioned a healthy in-law relationship, she almost always said that mutual respect was a key component of it. Being respectful doesn’t mean taking advice or believing in the same ways of doing things. It also doesn’t mean managing another’s behavior or trying to change someone’s personality. It does mean letting the other person be themselves, warts and all.

they answered right away, I knew I had hit on a hot topic. Here is some of the wisdom and advice they had to offer.

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Tips for Mothers-in-law

Assume positive intentions.

Kindness and a sense of humor also go a long way in any new or awkward relationship. People are less likely to offend or become competitive when they give each other the benefit of the doubt. Many pitfalls are avoided if both women see the other through the eyes of love and acceptance, ascribing positive motives to their sometimes less than admirable behaviors.

Tips for Daughters-in-law

• Accept the fact that your son has chosen another woman to love and respect.

• Allow your mother-in-law to continue to play a role in her son’s life. She’s earned it.

• Display love and affection honestly.

Know it may take some time for the relationship to mature.

• Be willing to let small conflicts go.

• Overlook flaws or failings in your daughter-in-law. Try to remember what it was like to be a new wife.

• Speak positive things to her and about her.

• Understand she is young and may change some of her opinions and habits.

• Don’t assume your mother-in-law will be just like your own mother (or any other person you know).

• As much as possible, keep conversation positive, free of gossip, and respectful.

In general, very few of the respondents reported a perfectly smooth road to a healthy relationship. They did, however, learn over time to build a friendship with their mothers- or daughters-in law based on acceptance, kindness, and love. You can, too. ¶

• Agree to disagree on touchy topics.

• Appreciate efforts to help, even if you have to set boundaries.

• Refrain from giving unsolicited advice, even if you’re “right.”

• Learn to listen to advice without necessarily taking it.

• Be supportive and willing to help if needed.

• Be patient. You may one day become a mother-in-law.

Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and freelance writer specializing in education, parenting, and family life articles. Find her at janpierce.net.

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February 2015

11/10/2014 2:20:24 PM 23 SonomaFamilyLife

To the Moon & Back

I

10 Love Lessons for the Whole Family

By Christina Katz

f love is a language, then teach your family members to become conversant. According to Gary D. Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages (Northfield Publishing, 2010), people receive love through words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. According to Chapman, every person has a primary “language of love.”

Which acts of love make you feel seen, appreciated, and cherished?

What about your spouse and kids?

We can all learn to communicate what we like and need to our family members, so everyone can get their needs met and no one has to end up feeling misunderstood or neglected.

Here are ten ways to increase family affection at home.

Set a loving example. If you want your kids to live the best lives possible, you have to teach them to love themselves first and foremost.

24 SonomaFamilyLife

Unfortunately, if the parents can’t model good self-esteem, then children are not likely to learn it, at least not from them. So, take good care of yourself first, and then take good care of your brood. Love and care for yourself so you can best love and care for others.

Use nicknames to communicate personal love.

Calling an adult or teenager by a childhood nickname can be an expression of affection. However, if using a nickname, even in

private, will offend the person you are addressing, then express the affection in whatever way the recipient will best receive it. Forget how you want to say it, and opt for what will garner the most positive response from your family member.

Don’t forget, “We all love you.” Get in the habit of speaking for the whole family. A family is a “we,” a complex constellation that has love at its center. This does not mean your toddler, teen, or college grad will always be eager to express emotion to others with whom the family is associated. So go ahead and be the voice of the whole family, as needed.

Love life and it will love your family back. Your attitude towards life is either going to inspire or haunt your family. You may think you are being realistic, but if you constantly chorus that life isn’t fair, your kids are going to grow up expecting life

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Sonoma County Airport to let them down. Sure, life can be a bumpy ride sometimes, but never forget that it’s unconditional love and positive encouragement from the people we love most that makes challenges more bearable and helps us to reach our goals.

outside of the family. If having you around seems to make them less charitable, then let another trusted adult guide them.

Teach kids to be caring to others. Show kids how to make thoughtful gestures that make the most of their talents. If family members have trouble expressing care to each other, maybe they will have an easier time expressing affection and concern to people www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Spend quality time with each person in the family. Love should never be a competition.

My daughter adores spending daddy-daughter time watching slapstick comedy shows or going out to breakfast. And my daughter and I have our favorite things we do together like watching chick flicks or going shopping. Be sure to carve out quality time with every family member, including your spouse.

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Offer hugs to your family members at every age. It has been scientifically proven that Encourage family members hugging lowers blood pressure and to express what they need reduces stress, so what more of an and want. Offer extra support to excuse do you need? If your older kids family members who have trouble try to brush you off, tell them you speaking up for themselves. Don’t let have to hug them—it’s for their good them always sacrifice their desires health. However, always respect their for whatever the rest control over their space. And, of the group wants. of course, encourage kids Every member of to receive hugs when Teach your kids the family needs they are struggling to know how emotionally. to love themselves to express their first and Squeeze in small opinions. Asking foremost. gestures of love. everyone about their Find little ways to express wants and needs makes physical touch, especially to them figure out what they those family members who try to actually are. shirk it. Squeeze a shoulder, pat a

www.sonomacountyairport.org 707.565.7240 Follow STS on

knee, rumple some hair. It’s when affection becomes rote that teens roll their eyes at you and groan. So, get creative, catch them when they least expect it, and say it like you mean it.

Appreciate the attempt. When a family member tries to do something genuinely kind or nice, try to appreciate the sentiment behind the gesture. When it comes to love and affection, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try consistently, you will find there are plenty of opportunities to acknowledge and appreciate the most important people in your life. ¶ Christina Katz is an author and freelance journalist. Her latest book is The Art of Making Time for Yourself.

February 2015

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SonomaFamilyLife 25

Kids Craft

Little Somethings Crafts to Make V-Day Sparkle

By Denise Morrison Yearian

F

ebruary is quite possibly the sweetest month of the year. Here is a confection of crafts to make and share with someone you love.

Lacy Licorice Candy Heart Items needed: Clear contact paper, red or pink construction paper, ruler, scissors, hole punch, tape, string licorice, small Valentine’s Day candies

Remove backing from contact paper and place construction paper over it, smoothing wrinkles and bubbles.

Measure and cut two identical hearts from the contact-construction paper.

Place the hearts together, contact paper facing out, and punch holes every ½ inch along the outer rim of the heart, ¼ inch from the edge. Use string licorice to sew the two hearts together, looping each stitch around the outer edge of the heart. If the licorice runs out, tie the loose end to a new piece of string and continue lacing. When you’ve laced nearly the entire heart, stop and fill the interior heart pouch with candy, then finish lacing until you reach your starting point. Tie the two licorice-free ends in a knot or bow and trim off excess string.

Candy Necklace Items needed: Clear plastic wrap, ruler, scissors, red-and-white peppermint candies (unwrapped), red ribbon

Measure and cut a 4-inch x 40-inch piece of plastic wrap. Working from the 26 SonomaFamilyLife

middle of the plastic toward the outer edge, place unwrapped candy 1-inch apart to form a row that measures approximately 18 inches. Fold plastic around the candy, gently rolling it to create a long strand. Cut ribbon into 3-inch strips and tie between candies.

Tie the ends of the plastic wrap together then snip off excess plastic to create a necklace.

Pop-up Greeting Construction paper, scissors, ruler, thin cardboard, glue gun (low setting), heart-shaped stencil, pencil, markers, stickers, glitter, jewels, and other embellishments

Fold a piece of construction paper in half and then in half again to create a rectangular card. Cut a 5-inch x ½-inch

strip from cardboard then fold back and forth, accordion-style, to create a “spring” for the pop-up card. Glue one end of the strip to the inside of your card.

Place heart-shaped stencil on the front of another piece of construction paper and trace around it with pencil. Cut out heart then glue it to the other end of the paper spring. Write a greeting on the front and inside of the card with markers.

Embellish the card with stickers, glitter, or jewels. Fold the spring down and place it, along with the attached heart, flat against the inside of the card. Close the card and slip it into an envelope.

When your recipient opens the card, the design will pop out.

The Secret Life of Chocolate

One of the most popular Valentine’s Day gifts is a box of chocolates. But where do these sweet confections come from? Chocolate is derived from cacao trees (pronounced kuh-KOW), which grow in warm climates.

Cacao trees produce a melon-like fruit that contains a pod with 20–40 seeds called cacao beans. After farmers remove seeds from the pods, the beans are set aside for a week to dry or ferment. During fermentation, the shells harden, beans darken, and the cacao flavor matures. The beans are then shipped to a factory where they are roasted, hulled, and milled so the nib—the part used for making chocolate—can be refined. The nib undergoes several more stages of melting, grinding, sifting, separating, and mixing with other ingredients before it is poured into chocolate molds and wrapped and packaged, ready to be shipped to the stores.

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Crush-on-you Cookies Ingredients: 1/3 cup shortening, 1/3 cup sugar, 1 egg, 3 cups flour, 1/2 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon salt, 2/3 cups honey, various colored hard candies.

Books for a Happy Heart

W

hy not make Valentine’s Day another great excuse to cuddle up and read with your kid? Check out these selections for children of all ages.

Preheat oven to 375°F. Combine the first seven ingredients in a bowl and mix to form a stiff dough. Take a portion of the dough and roll it into a 10-inch log, ¼-inch thick. Place dough log onto a foil-covered pan and form it into the outline of a heart, pinching the ends together at the heart’s base. Repeat these steps with remaining dough. Place candy into a plastic bag, seal tightly, and crush with a mallet. Sprinkle crushed candy into the center of each heart, heaping it up in the middle. Bake 8–10 minutes. Let cookies cool completely then gently peel them from the foil. ¶ Denise Morrison Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children.

Diane deGroat, Roses Are Pink, Your Feet Really Stink (HarperCollins, 1997). Ages 4–8.

Carol Ann Duffy ed., I Wouldn’t Thank You for a Valentine: Poems for Young Feminists (Henry Holt, 1997). Ages 8–12.

Gail Gibbons, Valentine’s Day Is… (Holiday House, 2005). Ages 5 and up.

Sam McBratney, Guess How Much I Love You (Candlewick, 2008). Ages 0–2.

Margaret McNamara, Too Many Valentines (Simon Spotlight, 2003). Ages 4–6.

Jack Prelutsky, It’s Valentine’s Day (Greenwillow Books, 2013). Ages 4–8.

Eileen Spinelli, Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch (Simon and Schuster, 1996). Ages 3–7.

Marjorie Weinman, Nate the Great and the Mushy Valentine (Yearling, 1995). Ages 6–9.

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February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 27

Family Fun

Valentine’s Day Delights Sweet Ways to Celebrate with Your Honey H

ire a sitter or bribe a family member and get ready for Valentine’s Day date night. Parents have so many responsibilities that they can forget to pay attention to each other. Now is the time to raise a glass and toast to your love for and dedication to one another. Here are some local events to help you do just that (along with a bit of entertainment for little ones).

Korbel Champagne Cellars On February 14, open a bottle of bubbly and take a bite of complimentary chocolate at this 19th-century vineyard in Guerneville. Ivy-covered minarets will take you back to the romance of another era while a garden of plants and flowers, including 250 types of antique roses, will inspire your senses. There’s also a gourment delicatessen to please your taste buds. The event is free. Visit korbel.com for more information.

Charles M. Schulz Museum If you are looking for a family-oriented Valentine’s Day, go to this well-loved Santa Rosa museum. In honor of the object of Charlie Brown’s affection—the Little Red-Haired Girl—all redheaded girls and boys will get free admission into the museum on February 14. The Mad Hatter Valentine’s Day Tea Party will be held from 10 a.m.–12:30 p.m. on the same day. Celebrate the 150th anniversary of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by making your own Cheshire cat-smile, Mad Hatter hats, and cuddly caterpillars. (Redheads get into this event for free, too. It’s $10 for everyone else.) Log on to schulzmuseum.org for details.

Peanuts © 1973 Peanuts Worldwide LLC

28 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Rodney Strong Vineyards Venture off to this Healdsburg vineyard on February 14 for V-day fun from 5:30–9:30 p.m. Sip some wine straight out of the barrel, indulge in a four-course dinner with your sweetie, and even learn how to boogie: a one-hour dance lesson, as well as the chance to practice your new skills to live music, will be part of the evening’s events. Club member tickets are $120; general admission is $150. See rodneystrong.com for more information.

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It’s all about the party!

Sally Tomatoes

Nick Hoffman

All relationships need a good dose of humor to thrive.

Let stand-up comedians Nick Hoffman and Brian Thomas tickle your funny bone at this Rohnert Park restaurant on February 14 at 6 p.m. The evening will include a four-course meal, which you can dance off with the help of Elvis tribute band Rick Lenzi and Roustabout. The celebration costs $110. Log on to sallytomatoes.com for details.

Fog Crest Vineyards An inaugural V-Day dinner will be held in at this Sebastopol vineyard’s new elegant tasting room on February 14, 6–8 p.m. Cozy up to your significant other as you dine on a five-course meal prepared by chef Heidi West; a different wine will be paired with each course. The event is $110 per person ($95 for club members). See fogcrestvineyard.com to find out more.

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Birthday • Graduation • Family Reunion • Office Event 327 O’Hair Court, Santa Rosa • 575-KIDS

Relish Culinary Adventures Make sensuous dishes featured on the silver screen at this roving culinary progam’s Romantic Movies couples cooking class on February 14 at 6 p.m. in Healdsburg. You’ll creat a delicious international menu, inspired by films such as Eat, Drink, Man, Woman; The 100-Foot Journey ; and Chocolat. Enjoy the fruits of your labors, along with specially selected sparkling, still, and dessert wines. The class is $122 per person. See relishculinary.com for more information.

Gloria Ferrer Caves and Vineyards At Gloria Ferrer’s Glorious Mixer, you can munch on yummy eats, indulge in a bit of chocolate fondue, and sip on a glass of champagne or a cocktail. Singles can even enjoy a friendly round of speed-dating. The event will be held at the Sonoma winery on February 14, 6:30–9 p.m., and will cost $55, $47 if you’re a club member. Visit gloriaferrer.com to find out more.

It’s not just

Gymnastics...

It’s confidence for a lifetime!

• Tumblebug Program for preschool aged children • Boys & Girls Classes Recreation 6–12 • Tumbling & Tramp Classes

707-763-5010

www.regymnastics.com

www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2015

reg

redwood empire gymnastics

SonomaFamilyLife 29

February Calendar of Events

Celebrate the Year of the Sheep

C

hina celebrates its New Year on February 19 with colorful festivals. You can see a local version at the Chinese New Year Festival at the Bay Area Discovery Museum in Sausalito on February 16, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Come see a performance by the dramatic lion dancers of the Dragon Horse Lion Dance Group, enjoy cultural demonstrations, and, of course, nosh on Chinese food.

In addition to the festival, the museum will also host the Chinese Performing Arts of America Youth Group, which will perform folk and classical dances that showcase the rich diversity of China’s cultures. The festival itself is free with museum admission while the Chinese Performing Arts of American Youth Group shows, held at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m., cost $7 for each performance, $5 for members. You can buy tickets at www.baykidsmuseum.org. ¶

Sunday 1 Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve. Picnic,

hike & commune with ancient trees. 8 a.m. to 1 hour after sunset. Visitor Center 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Parking $8. Senior parking $7.

Armstrong Woods State Park. 17000 Armstrong Woods Rd., Guerneville.

869-2015.

FREE Sculpture Trail. Features works in the plaza & on the boulevard. Thru May 7, 2015. Downtown Cloverdale & Geyserville. cloverdaleartsalliance.org.

migration of Pacific gray whales. In February, watch pregnant whales travel north while juvenile whales travel south! Weekends. Jan.–May 2015. Bodega Head.

Petrified Forest Meadow Walk.

100-foot high volcanic ash fall— obsidian, iron, petrified wood chunks. Scenic overview of Mt. St. Helena. Saturdays & Sundays. 11 a.m. Weather permitting. $5–$10.

Under 6 free. The Petrified Forest.

4100 Petrified Forest Rd., Calistoga. petrifiedforest.org.

Call 205-1539 30 SonomaFamilyLife

Rock-n-Glow Bowling. Family fun with LED lane lighting & automated scoring. Special bumper-rails for kids. Mondays.

5–10 p.m. $9 for 2 hours. Shoes included. Windsor Bowl. 8801 Conde Ln., Windsor. windsorbowl.com.

Wednesday 4 FREE Santa Rosa Original Certified Farmers Market. Open year-round.

Wednesdays & Saturdays. 8:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Wells Fargo Center for the Arts.

FREE Whale Watch at Bodega Head.

The amazing sight of the yearly

Be a part of our Summer Camp Adventure Guide

2015

Coming in April

Monday 2

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. thesantarosafarmersmarket.com.

FREE Meditation Group for Mothers. Wednesdays. 8:30–9:45 a.m. $10 suggested donation.

Sonoma Shambhala Center. 255 W. Napa St., Ste. G, Sonoma. sonoma.shambhala.org.

FREE Santa Rosa Community Farmers Market. Fresh & local produce as well as artisanal foods.

Open year-round. Wednesdays. 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Saturdays. 8:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Veterans Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. localharvest.org.

Thursday 5 a strange, otherworldly landscape, a group of women from different times & places find themselves wrestling with their lives. Thru Feb. 15. $10–$17. Feb. 12 admission is $5. Various times.

Evert B. Person Theatre. Sonoma State University. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. sonoma.edu.

St. John School Transfer Scholarship Available

Please call for a personalized meeting and tour with our Principal 707-433-2758 • Serving Pre-K - 8th grade.

• Advanced student scores on standardized testing.

• Low ratio class size with teacher assistants.

• Technology used in all classrooms: smart boards, lap-tops, iPads & Kindles.

• Welcoming Catholic & Non-Catholic students.

Heroines. In

www.sjshbg.org

Historic Downtown Healdsburg

Art in the Garden. Explore

the intersection of art & nature. Create collaborative pieces or take-homes.

Thursdays. 11 a.m.–noon. $7.

Children’s Museum of Sonoma County. 1835 W. Steele Ln., Santa Rosa. cmosc.org.

Camp runs 3/23–3/27 8am-3pm • ages 6-12 canoeing • crafts & nature games & skits • field trip special guests

$5 off

Friday 6 I Am My Own Wife. Pulitzer Prize & Tony Award winner for Best Play. A tour de force performance. Steven Abbott portrays 36 characters in this astonishing solo show! Thru Feb. 22.

8 p.m. Youth $15. Adult $25. Feb. 6 only: Youth $9. Cinnabar Theater.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Wa-Tam Spring Break Camp at Howarth Park

February 2015

Wa-Tam Spring Break Camp No cash value. To register, present coupon in person at Finley Community Center or call 543-3737 and mention coupon when registering.

Expires 3/15/15

www.santarosarec.com

SonomaFamilyLife 31

ONE COMMUNITY

3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. cinnabartheater.org.

3 AMAZING SCHOOLS

Swan Lake. Russian National Ballet Theatre performs this stunning fantasy ballet inspired by the German legend of Odette, a beautiful princess turned into a swan at the hand of an evil sorcerer.

8 p.m. $20–$45. Marin Center. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. marincounty.org.

FREE Drop-in Computer Orientation. Volunteers

BROOK HAVEN (K-8) A Multi-Age Community of Learners

available to answer questions about using the Internet & Microsoft Word & setting up e-mail accounts. 11 a.m.–noon. Sonoma Valley Regional Library. 755 West Napa St., Sonoma. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE Sonoma Valley Certified Farmers Market. Open

year-round.

Fridays. 9 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Arnold Field. 241 W. First St., Sonoma. svcfm.org.

FREE Mothers of Young

PARK SIDE (K-5) International Baccalaureate

Children. Sebastopol Christian Church. Nurture friendships & enjoy creativity with moms in the community. 9:15–11 a.m.

7433 Bodega Ave., Sebastopol. sebchristian.com.

FREE Bodega Marine Laboratory Tours. Explore

CASTLE CHILD CARE Preschool & School Age PROGRAMS

ENROLL NOW Come for a tour.

Our doors are open!

sebastopolschools.ORG 32 SonomaFamilyLife

the dynamic biodiversity of the Northern California Coast. Fridays. 2–4 p.m.

2099 West Side Rd., Bodega Bay. bml.ucdavis.edu.

FREE First Friday at Santa Rosa Junior College (SRJC) Planetarium.

View the stars & planets of that night. Come early for free parking pass. 7 & 8:30 p.m. SRJC. 1501

Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. santarosa.edu.

FREE First Friday Art Walk Guerneville. 3–8

p.m. Sonoma Nesting Company. 16151 Main St., Guerneville. sonomacounty.com.

Saturday 7 FREE Science Saturday at Environmental Discovery Center.

Tangible experiments & projects let children explore the natural world. Every first Sat. 1, 2 & 3 p.m. Event is free. Parking $7. 393 Violetti Rd., Santa Rosa. parks.sonomacounty.ca.gov.

FREE Learn to Saltwater Fish.

Ideal for all ages. All skill levels are welcome & no experience is necessary. 9 a.m.–noon. Paradise Beach Park. 3450 Paradise Dr., Tiburon. marincounty.org.

FREE Steelhead Festival. More

than 40 exhibits. Free trout pond for young anglers. Fly-fishing demonstration pond with tips from the pros & live music. 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

Milt Brandt Lake Sonoma Visitors Center. 3333 Skaggs Springs Rd., Geyserville. lakesonoma.org.

Celebrate Black History Around the World. Experience

the music, food, and fashion that has characterized black culture from the early 1900s to the present. Event will feature 3 local chefs, live music & dance & fashion show. 5:30–9 p.m. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park.

FREE African-American Folktales with Kirk Waller. Ages 5 & up. 11 a.m.–noon. Northwest Santa Rosa

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Library. 150 Coddingtown Center, Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE The Mosey Boys. Sing

& dance to bluegrass, rockabilly, country blues & folk music. 2 p.m. Rincon Valley Library. 6959 Montecito Blvd., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE Uncle Jer’s Traveling Bee Show. Learn

all about the lives of bees with puppets, photos & live bees. Ages 5 & up with an adult. 11 a.m. Healdsburg Regional Library. 139 Piper St., Healdsburg. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE Honey B & the Pollinators.

Lively blend of swing, jump-jive & jazz standards from ’20s, ’30s & ’40s. 2 p.m. Guerneville Regional Library. 14107 Armstrong Woods Rd., Guerneville. sonomalibrary.org.

Building Solid Christian Leaders Join a Community dedicated to your child’s spiritual development • Strong Academic Programs • Leadership Training • College-Prep High School • Regular Chapel/Bible Study Programs

PCA

Visit us online and register today! pacificchristianacademy.org

Affordable Christian Education

(707)823-2880

Pacific Christian Academy

Ride Free in Fifteen

2015

pilot program*

Ride Free in Fifteen CollegeRide Free in Fifteen Students 2015

2015

pilot program*

Annual Paws for Love Gala. Benefits

animals of Sonoma County & beyond. Provides shelters, rescue groups, health, welfare & adoptability of unwanted & abused animals. 6–10 p.m. Advance $40.

Door $50. Finley Community Center. 2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa. pawsforlove.info.

pilot program*

*Your valid ID card is your 2015 sctransit pass.

visit sctransit.com or 707.576.7433

contact us at 800.345.7433 or visit us on the web at sctransit.com for more information.

Sunday 8 Jay Alexander Magic. An

amazing, hilarious, unique magic show regularly requested across the nation by celebrities from John Cleese to the Rolling Stones. 2 p.m. & 5 p.m. $20. Marin Center.

10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. jayalexandershow.com.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 33

Tuesday 10 FREE Drop-In Valentine Crafts. All

For a better quality of life As your CARE PARTNER, Right at Home offers caregiving services for your family *Help after Surgery *Physical Assistance / Hygiene *Dementia Care *Companionship/Transportation *Respite Care *Light Housekeeping *Bathing Visits

supplies provided. Thru Feb. 14. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Petaluma Regional Library. 100 Fairgrounds Dr., Petaluma. sonomalibrary.org.

Wednesday 11 FREE Waldorf at Weill 3. Third-annual

collaboration of the music programs of 9 North Bay Waldorf schools. 6:30 p.m. Green Music Center. Sonoma State University. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. gmc.sonoma.edu.

Thursday 12

Carol Brohmer RN

www.RAHSonomaCounty.net

707-843-5192

FREE Duct Tape Mania. Make

crafts out of duct tape. Supplies provided.

Ages 12–18. 4–5 p.m. Sebastopol Regional Library. 7140 Bodega Ave., Sebastopol. sonomalibrary.org.

B Mî `ƒ

Dancing with the Stars: Live!

Features a cast of the television show’s most popular competitors!

8 p.m. $59. $69. Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. wellsfargocenterarts.org.

Mention this ad for:

Mention this ad for 50% off for the first 12 months

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Select sizes while supplies last 20% off packing and moving

Call

Friday 13

Thru Feb. 14. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Both days. $1.

Supplies. for details Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 6001 Commerce Blvd.

Rohnert Park, Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa.

CA 94928 sonomacountyfair.com.

EXPRESSWAY 707-588-8878 STORAGE 6001 Commerce Blvd.

Rohnert Park

707-588-8878

34 SonomaFamilyLife

47th Annual Coin Show.

Cloverdale Citrus Fair. Runs

rain or shine. Thru Feb. 16. See website for details. Cloverdale Citrus Fairgrounds. 1 Citrus Fair Dr., Cloverdale. cloverdalecitrusfair.org.

Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Carousel.

Classic story of dignity, hope & love. Thru Mar. 1. Thursdays 7:30 p.m. Fridays 8 p.m. Sundays 2 p.m. $16–$26. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. rpcity.org.

Saturday 14 FREE Admission at Charles M. Schulz Museum. for red-haired girls & boys in celebration of Valentine’s Day & Charlie Brown’s famous crush on the Little Red-Haired Girl.

10 a.m.–5 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Family Fun Days at Napa Valley Museum. All You Need Is Love. Make pop-up Valentine’s Day cards out of velvet and lace. 2–4 p.m. Adults $5.

Seniors $3.50. Kids $2.50. Napa Valley Museum. 55 Presidents Cir., Yountville. napavalleymuseum.org.

Call of the Wild Cat Show. Benefits

local cat charities. Thru Feb. 15. Sat. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Sun. 9 a.m.–4 p.m.

Adults $5. Kids 6–12 $3. Under 6 free. Sonoma County Fairgrounds.

1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. srcatshow.com.

FREE National Park Entry Day. Enjoy

nature & celebrate President’s weekend with free entry to all national parks. Thru Feb. 16. nps.gov.

Third Annual Jazz Concert Celebrating Black History Month.

In conjunction with the opening of “The Many Faces of Petaluma,” an exhibit about the ethnic & cultural groups that call Petaluma home.

Features local vintage jazz & blues

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

group The Dorian Mode. 6:30 p.m. $20–$30. Petaluma Historical Museum. 20 Fourth St., Petaluma. petalumamuseum.com.

Mad Hatter Valentine’s Day Tea Party. Make your own Cheshire cat-smile, Mad Hatter hats & cute caterpillars. 10 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $10. Charles M. Schulz Museum.

2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Sunday 15 Valley Ford Relay. Four people run 2.75 miles each. 9–11 a.m.

Deadline to register team is Feb. 12.

See website for details. Dinucci’s Restaurant. Hwy. 1, Valley Ford. empirerunners.org.

Wednesday 18

Thursday 19

FREE Family Movie Night. Pajamas, pillows & blankets welcome.

Come and watch your favorite neighbor Totoro. 6 p.m. Rohnert Park–Cotati Regional Library. 6250 Lynne Condé Way, Rohnert Park. sonomalibrary.org.

Homeschool Day at Charles

Dissect a flower, make a terrarium, create art with nature items & meet some live animals. Skating afterwards.

Reservations required. 10 a.m.–noon.

M. Schulz Museum.

Get Dazzled

Dare to Dazzle

• Girls Night Out • Little Miss Dazzle Birthday Parties • Bridal/Prom/Baby Shower Parties • Gels • Mani/Pedi • Artificial/Natural Nails • Organic Polish Available

(707) 523-1288 • 150 Steele Lane Suite 200, Santa Rosa

Monday 16 FREE Nature for Kids: Roy’s Redwoods. Family walk. Forest comes to life in the wet season with ferns, mosses, mushrooms, banana slugs & newts. Bring lunch.

10 a.m.–1 p.m. Meet at the Roy’s Redwoods Loop trailhead on Nicasio Valley Rd. in San Geronimo. marincountyparks.org.

Justin-Siena is a Catholic high school in the Lasallian tradition called to provide educational excellence in a loving, Christ-centered community that prepares students to serve and to lead in an ever-changing world.

S U M M E R P R O G R A M I N F O R M AT I O N O N L I N E

www.justin-siena.org

Chinese New Year Celebration.

Delicious Chinese food for sale. A variety of cultural demonstrations.

The spectacular Dragon Horse Lion Dance Team. 9 a.m.–5 p.m. $12. Babies & seniors $11.

Bay Area Discovery Museum.

557 McReynolds Rd., Sausalito. baykidsmuseum.org.

Bob Rider photography

Family Portraits Individuals • Families • Events BobRiderPhotography.com • (707)245-5321

www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 35

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

Child $6. Skating $5. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Birthday Parties Public Skating Fundraisers Private & Group Instruction

Saturday 21 Kids Night at the Museum. Dinner,

CAL SKATE Roller Skating & Blading Center

585-0500 • FOR RESERVATIONS: 585-0494 6100 COMMERCE BLVD. • WWW.CALSKATE.COM

games, art, cartooning & crafts.

Advanced reservations required. 5–9 p.m. Nonmembers $32. Members $25. Charles M. Schulz Museum.

2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

All Girls Chess Tournament.

Chess for Kids welcomes all levels and 10 a.m. Players arrive by 9:15 a.m. Former Ursuline High School, Brescia Lounge. 90 Ursuline Rd., Santa Rosa. 527-6427. chessclubforkids.com.

Put Your Affairs in Order • • • • • •

FREE Consultation

Nominate Guardians for Minors Revocable Living Trusts Wills Powers of Attorney Meet at Your Home

Evening & Weekend Appointments Available

707-431-7250

Maria Grace Wilson, Attorney at Law mgracewilson@comcast.net

Spring Lake Family Nature Walk. Families

can return to the Environmental Discovery Center after each hike to do nature-themed crafts & explore the touchable tide pool. Every third Saturday. 1-hour hikes start at 1 & 3 p.m. The event is free. Parking $7.

Environmental Discovery Center.

Exclusively Organic

Spring Lake Regional Park. 393 Violetti Rd., Santa Rosa. parks.sonomacounty.ca.gov.

Crystal Bowersox. American

Idol runner-up performs her emotive folk-rock/country music with her old soul of a voice & carefree style.

Ages 12 & up. Under 16 must be accompanied by an adult. 8 p.m. $20. $25. $35. Uptown Theatre Napa. 1350 Third St., Napa. uptowntheatrenapa.com.

Climb Aboard a Vintage Aircraft!

Pacific Coast Air Museum features DC-6 cockpit & history.

Thru Feb. 22. Sat. & Sun. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. $5–$10. Under 5 free.

Pacific Coast Air Museum. One Air Museum Way, Santa Rosa. pacificcoastairmuseum.org.

FREE Super Science: Dry Ice.

For children in grades K–5. 1 p.m.

Central Santa Rosa Library. 211 E. St., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org.

Chinese New Year Celebration.

Music, dance, martial arts, dragons, raffle, buffet dinner.

5–9 p.m. $25. Veterans Memorial Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. recacenter.org.

only at

Tuesday 24 Cross & Crown Lutheran School 2 - 5 years Preschool Jr. Kindergarten – Kindergarten 1st through 5th Grade

REGISTRATION FOR 2015-16 NOW OPEN 707.544.2766

312 D Street, Santa Rosa

36 SonomaFamilyLife

795-7863

www.crossandcrownschoolrp.org Preschool license #490100475

FREE Tweens Create: Learn How to Crochet. Hands-on

class. Materials provided. Ages 7–12. 4 p.m.

Windsor Regional Library. 9291 Old Redwood Hwy., Bldg. 100, Windsor. sonomalibrary.org.

Wednesday 25 FREE Sonoma County Transition Fair. For

students with special

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

needs & their families to help with transition between school-based programs & adulthood. Features 40 agencies that provide higher education, job training, employment, day programs, living options, and health services to adults with disabilities. 3–6 p.m. Sonoma County Office of Education. 5340 Skylane Blvd., Santa Rosa. 522-3208. scoe.org.

Thursday 26 Songwriters in the Round.

Featuring the North Bay’s most prolific songsmiths. Standing room only. All ages. Every fourth Thursday. Doors 7 p.m. Show 7:45 p.m. $8. Hopmonk Tavern.

230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. hopmonk.com.

cast. 6:30 p.m. Adult $17. Child $12.

Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. wellsfargocenterarts.org.

Saturday 28 David Cook. American Idol winner performs his rich, unfettered rock with the passionately intense performance of his new album, This Loud Morning. Ages 10 & up.

Under 16 must be accompanied by adult. 8 p.m. $20. $25. $35. Uptown Theatre Napa. 1350 Third St., Napa. uptowntheatrenapa.com.

Crab Feed at Finley. All-you-can

eat

dinner, dessert & raffle. Benefits recreation & parks senior programs.

5:30–9 p.m. $45. Finley Community Center. 2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa. ci.santa-rosa.ca.us.

WE DO WINDOWS TOO!

Tired of Cleaning?

Residential & Commercial Cleaning Bonded and Insured

Bill’s Cleaning Service Serving Santa Rosa (707) 321-7400

FRESH, LOCAL,

& FUN!

EVERY WEDNESDAY & SATURDAY WEDNESDAY: 8:30 am to Noon SATURDAY: 8:30 am to 1 pm Wells Fargo Center for the Arts 50 Mark West Springs Road

Friday 27 Musical adventures of a feisty, outspoken first grader.

Arrive early for arts & crafts. Stay after for autograph session with the Junie B. Jones.

SANTA ROSA CO-OP PRESCHOOL

ALL GIRLS CHESS TOURNAMENT

EST. 1951

FEBRUARY 21

A Place to Play. A Place to Learn. A Place to Grow.

• Accepting 2–5 Years Old

• Pre K class for academic & social Kindergarten readiness

SAVE THE DATE

• Positive Discipline: ~ Parenting tools using kind and firm techniques ~ Encouragement with mutual respect

CHESS FOR KIDS

All Levels Welcome!

To support our families, we provide parenting tools & classes so we work together as a team for your children

Call today!

(707) 527-6427

www.chessclubforkids.com

579-3718

srecschool.org www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 37

Cooking with Kids

Cupid’s Calzone

By John Corippo

A Dad’s Recipe for Love W

ho needs heart-shaped candies and over-priced roses? Leave those trappings for the less creative. A meal made by the hands of the people Mom loves will please her more than anything that Cupid or Hallmark could cook up.

This recipe for homemade calzone is easy to prepare and doesn’t create much of a mess. The more daring can make the dough from scratch, but I have had great luck with the freshly prepared dough found in most

Easy Calzone

Directions

Ingredients

Preheat oven to 400°F.

• 2 fresh pizza dough balls • Marinara sauce • Mozzarella cheese • Parmesan cheese, grated • Pepperoni, fresh basil, olives, or favorite fillings • Dipping sauces such as marinara or ranch dressing

Give Mom dinner, made from scratch.

supermarkets. Your little ones can help with everything from rolling out the dough and cutting out the heart shapes to picking out and using their (or Mom’s) favorite fillings. The more involved the kids are in making the dish, the more pride and love they will feel when they present it to Mom. Serve the calzone with a green salad and a heart-shaped dessert—and don’t forget to do the dishes.

A clean kitchen will make your masterpiece taste that much better to Mom.

Roll out the pizza dough and cut out four heart shapes of equal size, two hearts from each ball of dough. It’s helpful to cut out a heart from an old aluminum pie tin, and use it as a form for cutting out the dough. (If it’s not Valentine’s Day, roll out two circles from each ball to make one big calzone instead of two heart-shaped ones.) Place hearts or circles onto a floured surface to prevent sticking. Place a thin layer of marinara sauce, Mozzarella cheese, and desired fillings on top of one piece of dough. Don’t use too much as the filling could bubble over while cooking and create a mess. Top with the matching piece of dough and crimp the edges together with a fork. Brush a light coat of olive oil on the top and dust with grated Parmesan cheese. If making a heart-shaped calzone, repeat with the second pair of dough pieces. Bake calzones on pizza stone or baking tray for 10–15 minutes, until the crust is lightly browned but cooked through. Serve with desired dipping sauce. Serves 4.

Pizza Dough

Directions

Ingredients • 1 package yeast

• 1 teaspoon salt

• 1 tablespoon sugar

• 3 tablespoons olive oil

• 1 cup warm water

• 3 cups flour

Combine yeast, sugar, and warm water in a large bowl.

Let sit for 5 minutes. In a separate bowl, combine salt, olive oil, and flour. Add flour mixture to yeast mixture. Put dough in a warm place and let rise for 1–2 hours. When dough has doubled in size, it is ready to use.

John Corippo lives in Ukiah, where he is a husband and father to two sons as well as a fire captain, paramedic, hazmat specialist, journalist, college instructor, avid sports fan, and stand-up paddleboard representative.

38 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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February 2015

SonomaFamilyLife 39

Classified Marketplace Camps

Lessons

Super Kids Camp Fun weekly themes, field trips, swimming, rock wall climbing, & so much more!

An exciting, recreational, & educational experience for campers, ages 5-11.

W

Counseling

Wings After School Martial & Arts Lessons Program

RIDE

MARK WEST STABLES WITH

US! Wwww.markweststables.com

(707) 538-2000

|

A full week of camp starts as low as $125 per week.

Call, email, or check out our website for details.

Wings (707) 544-2302 www.wingsmap.org

AFTER-SCHOOL

MARTIAL ARTS PROGRAM

SUPPORTS ACADEMICS WITH FUN

707-664-3391

superkidscamp@yahoo.com sonoma.edu/campusrec/youth/superkids

DO YOU LOVE TO

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Is Your Child Defiant, Stubborn, or Aggressive?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

We know how difficult and frustrating it can be when everything you have tried has not worked. Through a highly effective program for children 3-6 years old, we can help you to successfully manage these behaviors. Start to see results in as little as 6 sessions.

Call today for a free consultation 707-545-4600 www.srcbt.org

“I NEVER KNEW WE COULD HAVE SUCH FUN WITH OUR CHILD AGAIN!”

Sing?

Teaching the art of the sword Let Us Host Your Next Birthday Party!

Santa Rosa

433-8102

egfencing.com

www.wingsmap.org

Providing quality music education and choral training since 1984!

Riding Lessons for Children

(707) 544-2302

527-8813

HAVING A PARTY OR EVENT?

srchildrenschorus.com

Liven it up!

Register Now for Winter Classes

with balloon artists Katie & Luke

Katie's Balloons

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FIRST LESSON

FREE!

ktsballoons@gmail.com

Call Today for more information: 707-575-7701 www.artandsoulmusic.com 4861 Old Redwood Hwy., Santa Rosa *Bring in this ad and we’ll waive your registration fee

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR AT Pizza, Games, & Great Rock Star Souvenirs

586-1949

601 Rohnert Park Expy W, Rohnert Park www.chuckecheese.com

40 SonomaFamilyLife

Santa Rosa Children’s Chorus Boys & Girls ages 7-12 may join

613 College Avenue, Santa Rosa

Check Out Our New Online Directories

M-F from after school until 6pm • We Pick Up! Free Shuttle from School to our Studio • Daily Karate Classes & Homework Time • Light Meal Provided • Child Centered Curriculum

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www.jessesaldana.com 5425 Stony Point Road • Santa Rosa

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February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Schools

“I care about learning again” • Grades 6-12 • School without Stress • Affordable Rates • Individualized Instruction

707-996-2881 sonomavalleyacademy.org

Lessons

Family Music Classes

Tutors

Childcare/Preschools

STRUGGLING IN SCHOOL?

GET HELP NOW!

Credentialed K-8 Teacher Jeanne Walters

Program of First United Methodist Church Year-round • Play based Ages 2 - 5 (Pre-Kindergarten) Excellent Teacher-Child ratios Open 7am-6pm

YMCA YMCA YMCA PRESCHOOL PRESCHOOL PRESCHOOL

preschool@fumcsantarosa.org www.fumcsantarosa.org/preschool License#490110699

Part Part Part Time Time Time /Full /Full /Full Time Time Time Care Care Care Flexible Plans Available Flexible Flexible Plans Plans Available Available Serving 2-5 year olds Serving Serving 2-5 2-5 year year olds olds

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AFTER SCHOOL WITH PONIES! •Self-Esteem •Responsibility •FUN!

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FUMC

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Preschool & Child Care Center

Check Out Our New Online Directories

PROGRAM PROGRAM OBJECTIVES: OBJECTIVES: PROGRAM OBJECTIVES:

Health Health Health & Nutrition, &&Nutrition, Nutrition, Motor Motor Motor Skills, Skills, Skills, Interpersonal Relationships, Self Interpersonal Interpersonal Relationships, Relationships, Self Self Confidence, and Cognitive Confidence, Confidence, and and Cognitive Cognitive & && Academic Skills Academic Academic Skills Skills . ..

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Tutors

YMCA YMCA YMCA Program Program Program Office Office Office 707.544.1829 707.544.1829 707.544.1829 community based TheThe Y The isYaYisnon-profit isa anon-profit non-profit community community based based organization. organization. organization.

Financial Assistance isisavailable.

Financial Financial Assistance Assistance is available. available.

Schools

Rh

Casa dei Bam io’s Since 1981 b Montessori School

Preschool•Kindergarten Parent-Toddler Class Ages 18 months to 6-years

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Academic Subjects • Test Prep Foreign Languages Study Skills • ESL

Don’t wait until your child falls behind

European Pony School

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Will provide home tutoring in phonics for reading improvement & comprehension Grades 1-8 Santa Rosa Call Kati

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SANTA SANTA SANTA ROSA ROSA ROSA 2590 2590 PINER PINER RD. RD. 2590 PINER RD.

ini

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Diane: 546-7012

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Santa Rosa, Windsor & Healdsburg

Childcare/Preschools

528-7789 February 2015

The Bridge School. Located in Central Santa Rosa, 1625 Franklin Ave. Year-round full/half–day. Rich nurturing environment.

Center based program for ages 3–5 with separate 2’s program. Caring, qualified teachers. Julie & Andrew Day; owners.

Lic.#493005697. 575-7959.

Playtime Daycare/Preschool Join our loving family. Spacious playroom, large yard, meals provided. CPR & first aid certified.

M-F. Infants & up. Call Wendy 539-7524. Lic. #04746.

SonomaFamilyLife 41

Humor Break

Puppy Love Who Has Mom’s Heart— Dad, Daughter, or Dog?

By Patrick Hempfing

“M

attie, will you be my valentine?”

On February 1, I’ll pose this question to my wife of almost 30 years. She’ll be noncommittal. Over the 14 days that follow, I’ll continue to romance Mattie with poems, small gifts, and various acts of service in an effort to convince her that I’m the valentine for her. Finally, late in the evening on Valentine’s Day, Mattie will say, “Yes, I’ll be your valentine this year.”

We started playing this game before we were married. It’s not easy to come up with fresh rhymes 14 times each February, even for a writer. A wiser man would have quit years ago. Things got a little easier when my ten-year-old daughter, Jessie, was younger and joined in the efforts to convince her mom to select me.

Unfortunately, over the last few years my proponent turned into my opponent as Jessie started lobbying for Mattie to choose her instead of me.

Could Valentine’s Day get any more challenging? Surprisingly, yes.

Jessie is now also campaigning on behalf of our dog, Sadie, who joined in the competition to be Mattie’s valentine. She sends e-mails and hand-written notes signed by the 42 SonomaFamilyLife

dog. They often come with drawings or cut-out hearts, and some are even stamped with an inked dog paw. How can I compete with dog love?

Recently, though, I witnessed a beautiful display of love that didn’t involve poetry, flowers, chocolate, or removing ink from a dog’s paw. It did, however, involve hair. Jessie had nine inches of her locks cut off so that she

Thank goodness dogs can’t talk—unless, of course, they are competing to be my wife’s sweetheart. could donate them to an organization that makes wigs for women fighting cancer. The whole family came to watch the big event. The beauty salon should have sold tickets.

As the hairdresser formed two tight ponytails to prepare Jessie’s hair for the big chop, my mind wandered back to a scene in our kitchen years ago when Mattie gave Jessie her first haircut. At the time, I highly questioned Mattie’s decision to cut Jessie’s hair as her haircutting experience was limited to our first dog, which she left with barely enough

fur to cover its behind. Thank goodness dogs can’t talk—unless, of course, they are competing to be my wife’s sweetheart.

The hairdresser cut off Jessie’s two ponytails and carefully placed them in a plastic bag, then posed with our pretty, short-haired girl for some pictures. At home, we addressed a padded envelope and then slid in the bag containing Jessie’s lovely locks.

Many times, I’ve left the post office feeling happy knowing that a card, letter, or photo I had mailed would make someone’s day, but nothing compares to the feeling I felt when I sent off my daughter’s hair to help someone with cancer. I won’t soon forget it. We were raising a daughter who knew that love could be expressed in many ways.

I’m confident that in the days ahead, I’ll overcome the rivalry of my dog and win Mattie’s heart for another year. But the real winner of this friendly Valentine’s Day competition will be a generous ten-year-old girl with a very cute new do. She showed all of us what true love looks like. ¶ Editor’s note: To learn more about hair donation, see pantene.com/en-us/ experience-main-section2/beautiful-lengths and locksoflove.org.

Patrick Hempfing is a stay-at-home dad and writer. Follow him at www. facebook.com/patricklhempfing.

February 2015 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Warm Up Winter with a cup of hot fresh-pressed apple cider

Find our award-winning Sebastopol Ratzlaff Ranch’s

Apple-A-Day Cider At These Local Stores

Andy’s Produce in Sebastopol, Pacific Markets in Sebastopol & Santa Rosa, Speers Market in Forestville, Bill’s Farm Basket in Sebastopol, Bohemian Market in Occidental, Glen Ellen Village Market in Glen Ellen, Olivers Market in Santa Rosa & Rohnert Park, Petaluma Market in Petaluma, Sonoma Market in Sonoma, Santa Rosa Community Market in Santa Rosa, Sebastopol Community Market in Sebastopol, Sheltons Natural in Healdsburg, Whole Foods Markets in Sebastopol, Santa Rosa, Sonoma & Petaluma.

Also at Ratzlaff Ranch, 13128 Occidental Rd. Sebastopol Hours: Mon.–Fri. 8am–5pm • Closed Sat. • Sun. 9am–5pm

VOTED BEST CIDER

BY SF-GATE

We LOVE what we do.

The luckiest people on earth are those who love getting up every day and heading out to do work they love. We are among those who are blessed with this gift. There’s great pleasure in pruning trees and plants to make them strong and healthy, to bringing light and air to their branches, and to finishing the day proud to have accomplished a job well done.

! y a d o T l Cal When we nurture plants, they respond with vigorous growth.

It’s pretty rewarding to see that happen! Right now most plants are in their dormant stage. This is the time of year when you can clearly see the shape of branches for aesthetic pruning.

It’s also time to prune for maximum yield on fruit trees, trim flowering trees for beauty, and prepare plants for spring, when they come out of their protective winter sleep.

Sonoma County’s Best-Loved Tree Service since 1999

707-874-5538

Visit our web site for more information and testimonials from satisfied clients.

www.SonomaTree.com Licensed, Bonded & Insured

If it’s been a few years since you’ve had your trees trimmed for health and beauty, bring us by to evaluate what they need. Your property can be dressed for spring so it has a head start going into the growing season.

You might even find that having us do your pruning gives you time to take some time for yourself instead of spending the weekend doing yard work. Love yourself and your plants… give Fine Tree Care a call.

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