David Lykken is president of mortgage strategies and managing partner with Mortgage Banking Solutions. He has more than 35 years of industry experience and has garnered a national reputation, and has become a frequent guest on FOX Business News with Neil Cavuto, Stuart Varney, Liz Claman and Dave Asman with additional guest appearances on the CBS Evening News, Bloomberg TV and radio. He may be reached by phone at (512) 977-9900, ext. 10, or e-mail dlykken@mortgagebankingsolutions.com or dlykken@mbs-team.com.
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n National Mortgage Professional Magazine n APRIL 2014
when you’re out walking your dog. Listen to people tell their stories and respond with some stories from your own life. As you do this more and more, you will see yourself becoming increasingly more magnetic. You’ll become more fluent and articulate when you talk to people, and you’ll intuitively grasp how to better draw them into conversations. The more comfortable you are having conversations with people, the more receptive they will be to you. One final piece of advice I have for you if you are looking to boost your charisma has to do with recruiting. When you are building your team, hire first and foremost for passion. You know the old adage: “hire for attitude; train for skill.” I think that’s true. It’s a lot easier to train a skill than it is to change an attitude. Hire people who approach their work with a passion, and that passion will rub off on you. So, when you’re hiring people, give more weight to the question, “why do you want to work for us?” than you do to the question, “why are you the best person for the job?” Because the people who most want to work for you, regardless of their skill levels, probably are the best people for the job. Those are the people who will be willing to learn and grow with you. When you have people working with you who are passionate about what they do, that excitement will transfer to you—making you more charismatic. Then, your charisma will reflect back to your team—creating an endless cycle of passionate engagement. And that’s how you become unstoppable. Charisma isn’t about hype. It’s not just being a dynamic speaker. If you watch how Steve Jobs presented, he actually did so in a quiet way. And yet people still latched onto every word. You don’t have to be loud and boisterous. You don’t even have to be an extrovert. That’s not how I see charisma. Charisma is about connecting with people on an emotional level. It’s about identifying with people in such a way that they gravitate toward you. It’s about being likable. And, as a leader, that skill is absolutely crucial for building the team you need to create a winning culture.
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First, stay physically healthy. I’m not a doctor, but I think there is some basic, well-established medical advice that I would be comfortable giving. Drink more water and less soda. Exercise as often as you can. Get more sleep. Try to only eat salts, sugars, and fats in moderation. Few people would disagree with these best practices. And yet, what happens when you wake up in the morning to go for a jog? You hit snooze. And what happens when you get home late from work? You grab fast food or order a pizza. It’s quick, it’s convenient, and it satisfies a craving. So, what does being healthy have to do with being more charismatic? Well, more and more research is showing a substantial mind-body connection. If you treat your body badly, it shows up in your mood. You can become grumpy, groggy, anti-social, and just not very fun to be around. Take care of yourself, on the other hand, and you have more energy to interact with people—more passion with which to inspire them. Another thing you can do to improve your charisma is make the decision to shun cynicism. When you consuming content—whether it’s on TV, in a book, or on the Internet— avoid the negative. Go on a media diet, if you must. You’ll find that the world keeps spinning, even if you stop watching the news for a bit. Also, avoid conversations with negative people. There is always going to be someone wanting to tell you how horrible things are and how hopeless your situation is. Ignore them. They are charisma-killers. They suck your passion and leave you hollow. Cynicism is a charisma thief—don’t let it into your house. A third thing you might want to try is probably something you haven’t heard before in a professional context: consume more stories. By “stories,” I mean reading fiction, watching movies, and even listening to narrative-based songs. How can this help your charisma? Simple. Being charismatic is all about relating better to other people. There is no better way to get a clarity on how people think and feel than to experience stories about them. The more you are in tune with what it means to be human, the more people will be attracted to you. Give it a shot. Read memoirs about how people have overcome obstacles in their lives and professions. Watch movies that have complex characters and intricate social interactions. Listen to people tell you stories about their lives. You’ll be surprised by how much it feeds your charisma. On that note, another thing you’ll want to do in order to become more charismatic is have more conversations. Talk to everyone. Start conversations with people while you’re waiting in line at the coffee shop, when you’re flying on a plane, and