THE NIGERIAN
13
THURSDAY, MAY 16, 2013
How Not To Destroy Your Marriage
MR. Okoro sat patiently, waiting for the out come of his wife’s delivery. He looked at his wrist watch and was amazed at how time flies. He had been sitting down there for approximately five hours now and yet there was no news of the birth of his child. He prayed quietly for the safe delivery of his child and well being of his wife. As he kept wondering about what must have caused the delay of any news concerning his wife’s delivery, a nurse walked in looking sober and unruffled. Mr. Okoro stood up immediately on sighting her, forgetting all the aches in his waist and neck, while he was full of anxiety of what the nurse was about to tell him. He tried to read the expression on the nurse’s face but to no avail, for the nurse wore an expressionless face and so Mr. Okoro was left in the world of puzzlement. Are you Mr. Okoro, the husband of Mrs. Monica Okoro? Asked the nurse. Yes I am said Mr. Okoro, whose anxiety now had increased and was becoming uncomfortable. This is not how good news are reported, he reflected. Infact he had expected the nurse to run up to him without asking him of his name and give him a big smile before announcing to him that his wife has giving birth to a bouncing baby boy or girl. But in this scenario, he was apprehensive and wish the nurse could hasten up and give him the news. At this junction, the nurse gave a weird smile said “the doctor wants to see you in his office”. Okoro who could not help, but got angry felt like giving the nurse a dirty slap for putting him through this unwarranted suspense, yet he managed to asked one of the numerous question that have clouded his mind. “How is my wife and the baby? Calm down, Mr. Okoro, everything is under control calm down. Just go and see the doctor who is waiting for you in his office he will explain everything to you she said and left him there as he watched her go. Quickly, Mr. Okoro gathered himself together and walked briskly to the doctor’s office. He timidly knocked on the doctor’s door and held a faint sound telling him to come inside. As he walked inside, he heard the doctor asked “ are you Mr. Okoro? ‘Yes doctor, I am Mr. Okoro without waiting for further response from the doctor, Okoro, could not hesitate any longer but pour out the numerous questions that have been in his mind. “How is my wife and my
baby, Are they okay, why is the nurse not talking to me eh, Doctor what is happening? “Please, Mr. Okoro have your seat, your wife is okay, the doctor said. When he heard that his wife was okay he took his seat while his eyes were glued to the doctor’s face. “Your wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy, but few minutes after his birth, he developed some complication, this was as a result of excessive sugar in his blood. The baby weighed 6.7kg at birth which is abnormal most especially when it is her first delivery, is the baby okay now? Okoro cut in. I am sorry, we lost the baby, the doctor said sadly Mr. Okoro who was dumb founded gazed at the doctor, with his mouth opened. It took quite a while before he realised that he was still in the doctor’s office. He tried to ask some questions but he discovered that his strength was failing him and he was sweating profusely. The doctor who noticed this sudden change in him quickly put in some words of assurance. It is going to be okay. “Your wife will still bear more children, when her diabetic condition is put in check. “Diabetic condition? Doctor what are you talking about, what do you mean her diabetic condition”? He asked becoming more confused than ever. Are you telling me you are not aware that your wife is diabetic? He asked with some sign of surprise. Bewildered by this revelation, again Okoro stared at the doctor unable to believe that his cherished wife was diabetic and she kept him in the dark. I’m so sorry that you are hearing this for the first time. There is nothing wrong with diabetic patient having children. It is just that your wife didn’t seek medical advice during the time of her pregnancy and again her sugar level which was very high infiltrated into the blood stream of the unborn child, resulted in death. He added. Jesus Christ! Okoro finally exclaimed she never told me, she kept such an important information from me. Doctor I trusted her with my life. I had thought she was the best thing that has ever happen to me. I use to confide in her a lot, why would she choose to kill my son, Doctor, why? If she can do this to our child that means I am not save, she can also kill me to think she was the love of my life !he laughed hysterically. When she gets home, you two need…..”which home? he cut
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in with that Okoro walked out of the doctor’s office. The desire to marry the man or woman of one’s dream has made a lot of people to be deceitful in their relationships. Naturally, the first thing that attracts a man to a woman, vice versa is the physical appearance of the person. There is also the indoctrination from childhood that make one to believe that a woman’s training is based on how to care for her husband when she eventually gets married. She should
cognizance, you will discover that there was little or no preparation at all for our young girls and boys to embrace any defect or deformity that might manifest on the body of would be wife or husband. Sickness is not what anybody bargain for nor is anybody happy to find his or herself in such situation. It is an unpleasant development and it goes width stigmatization, therefore those who are ill, most especially with terminal illness tend to hide it from the society. There are different types of illness the first one is hereditary illness such as, cancer, diabetics,
or deformed and none of them are deliberately self-addicted. Yet some families who want to pick a wife or husband for their children go extra mill to find out the kind of illness that are found in certain families before they seek their consent. If they found out that madness runs in that family it becomes a no go area for their ward or children. Most parents are tribalistic. Not because they choose to, but because they find it difficult to get some vital
equally know how to take good care of herself, by looking beautiful, clean, intelligent educated and how to carry out domestic chores. The boys are not left in this type of training, they are also taught how to care for themselves treat a lady nicely as well as to a good husband and a father. A lot of young men take extra care of their bodies by going to the gym so as to have a strong and virile body that will attract the opposite sex. When you take all this into
kidney failure, hypertension, epilepsy, insanity sickle cell anemia etc. The second category are contracted, such as Sexually Transmitted Diseases, STD, HIV etc. The third are gotten through our life style e.g. ulcer, abortion, bleeding, liver and diseases etc. While the fourth category is accident e.g car accident, plane crash, motorcycle accident and domestic accident etc. These are some of the various ways people families can be ill
information concerning the family their child is going into especially if the person is from far distance tribe. In most cases parents often discourage their children from getting married outside their tribe. Their reasons are not far fetch it is very easy to gather information when the person is from their tribe or community with this, they are sure that their children are not entering into bad families for example where madness or epilepsy is. These are some of the reasons
why some people will want to hide their sickness from their partner. They are already sad with the knowledge of this ailment they are in so they are scared of being rejected if their partner eventually finds out, thereby keeping the secret to themselves. One thing that is unknown to them is that a day will come when the cat will be let out of the bag and they will have to face the truth, truth they say is bitter. There are the few ones who will go ahead to inform their partner of their state of health. This is not easy because in most cases that might be the last time they will set their eyes on them. The fear of never going to be married and start having children of their own is another reason why they keep secret to themselves. Hoping that by the time their partner finds out they would have been married and with children. If they are lucky when they seek forgiveness from them they may be forgiven while others will hope that they might succeed in keeping it secret till eventually taking it to their grave when they die. In whatever way we look at it, it is still advisable that the truth should be said, most especially before marriage. If the love your partner profess to you is genuine he or she will damn all consequence to be with you. A veteran actress and cancer survivor muuatz, whose favorite co-stars Rajesh Khanna and Dora Singh passed away recently, say it is never wise to hide an illness. “What I don’t understand is, why does one have to hide one’s illness? when I was ill with cancer, my thyroid gland was gone because of that chemotherapy. That meant anything I ate went straight to my weight. I bloated up. But since my fans knew about my condition no one made fun of me” said the 65year-old. “I was honest about my illness and I am honest about my age. Fans love you for your honesty. They all know that no matter how big the star, he or she will die one day” she added.
“The fear of never going to be married and start having children of their own is another reason why they keep secret to themselves. Hoping that by the time their partner finds out they would have been married and with children.”