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DEC 7, 2012

NEW YORK’S GAY GUIDE

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

20.24

CONTENTS

DECEMBER 7, 2012 | VOL 20.24 ON THE COVER AND ON THIS pAGE: Ryan Steer shot exclusively for Next Magazine by Kevin Thomas Garcia.

12 2012 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE Don we now our gay apparel—and headphones, DVDs and candles—in our annual gift-giving issue. 14 12 Days of Christmas: That’s four more than Hanukkah! 20 30 Gifts under 30: The perfect present doesn’t have to make you poor. 30 Gay Shopping Guide: Economy stimulation, Next Magazine style.

THE NEXUS 4 4 6 8 10 10 56

The Week in Photos Commentary: How much is a new relationship worth? Getting Personal with choreographer Travis Wall What’s Next Now: The Spa at The Out NYC Commentary: Gender identity gets swept out to sea. Gay DD Shot in the Dark

NEXTWEEK 24 26 29 30 36 40

Calendar of Events D.I.Y.: Jackie Hoffman and Dallas DuBois play holiday party host. The Roundup: Dirty dancing with New York’s gay strip nights. Bars + Clubs Map Spotlight: Brooklyn’s Videology expands its services with a new queer film series. Shoutout: Getting jolly for Santacon.

COLUMNS 42 43 44 46 48 50

Sound Check: Dangerous Muse returns, one member lighter. The Right Track: Keo Nozari wants an apology for Unapologetic. Curtain Up Eats What’s Cookin’ Double Take

LISTINGS 33

Business Directory

PUBLISHER DAVID MOYAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF BENJAMIN SOLOMON ART DIRECTOR CHARLIE PIAZZA SENIOR EDITOR ALEX ERIKSON ASSOCIATE EDITOR WILL PULOS COPY EDITOR JENNIFER CHAFE EDITOR AT LARGE JOHN RUSSELL DINING EDITOR PETER SHERWOOD MUSIC EDITOR KEO NOZARI STAFF WRITER LAWRENCE FERBER ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES DON ROBINDER, ZEKE PEREZ, ROBERTO BUCKLEY MARKETING DIRECTOR MATTHEW THARRETT DISTRIBUTION MANAGER EZEQUIEL PEREZ

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CONTRIBUTING WRITERS FRANK CONWAY, MARC CUENCO, WIL FISHER, DUSTIN FITZHARRIS, JAMESON FITZPATRICK, DAN HECHING, DAVID HURST, JEFF KAGAN, JUSTIN LOCKWOOD, PAUL MATSUMOTO, JORDAN RUBENSTEIN, BRIAN SLOAN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS SANTIAGO FELIPE, KEVIN THOMAS GARCIA, GUSTAVO MONROY CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS CHRIS BISHOP, BRUCE GLIKAS, ERIC JAMES, ROBERT H. MCGEE CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS A.E. KIEREN, TIM PAUL, ANDY SWIST, WILL VARNER NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE RIVENDELL MEDIA: 212-242-6863, RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM

Next Magazine (henceforth “Next”) reserves the right to without providing credit for images. Next does not guarantee that credit will be provided for any materials. The appearance of subjects and contributors in photographs or editorial matter in Next is not to be construed as indicative of the sexual orientation or personal practices of any individual. No implication with respect thereto is intended, and none should be inferred.

NEXT MAGAZINE, PUBLISHED BY RND ENTERPRISES © 2012 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 121 VARICK ST, 7TH FL, NEW YORK, NY 10013 PHONE: 212-627-0165 • FAX: 212-627-0633

OPINIONS AND CLAIMS MADE BY ADVERTISERS ARE THOSE OF THE ADVERTISERS ONLY. NEXT MAGAZINE ACCEPTS NO LIABILITY FOR CLAIMS MADE BY ADVERTISERS.

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Week in Photos

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Getting Personal

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Gay 8 What’s Next Now P. 10 D.D.

Sharon Needles freaks Out 100 • Crystal Waters performs at Industry• Kelly Osbourne hosts the Love Hangover Ball

US 12.7.12

THE

Visit The Nexus on NextMagazine.com for your daily dose of gay gossip and party photos. BY WILL PULOS

SANTA MAYBE? THE GIFT CONNUNDRUM IN A BRAND NEW RELATIONSHIP.

t was one of those bright, cold December days, when David buzzed up to my apartment. It was my last weekend in the city before going home for the holidays and we were planning on going out for drinks before I left. We’d only been dating a few weeks, but everything had been going surprisingly well so far. He was the fun, witty, active type of guy that’s perfect to date around the holidays, when you’re in full-on activity mode. And to be honest, I appreciated his knowledge of ongoing cultural events as much as I did his perpetually tousled black hair. As it was probably the last time we’d see each other before Christmas, I’d picked up a fun little gift to give him, but nothing too serious. I didn’t want to come on too strong and, up to that point, our relationship had been very jokey and breezy. After I let him in, I quickly went back to my room to grab my coat and make sure my hair looked decent. When I came out, a beautifully wrapped box with a silk bow was resting on my couch. He had moved fast. “Oh,” I said. “What’s that?” “It’s your Christmas present!” he said excitedly and pushed it into my hands. I nervously untied the bow, lifted the lid and pulled out a gorgeous brown scarf folded delicately inside. Let’s just say it def-

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AMERICAN AIRLINES THEATER PHOTO: ROBERTO MCGEE

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FRED EBB AWARD FOR MUSICAL THEATRE SONGWRITING @ THE AMERICAN AIRLINES THEATRE David Hyde Pierce presents the eighth-annual Fred Ebb Award to composer SamWillmott in the 42nd Street theater’s Penthouse Lounge.

Overheard:

US

“I’m not kidding. This is the most offensive show!” —Dallas Dubois at her irreverent holiday show, Distorted Kristmess

SANTA MAYBE? CONT.

G

Travis Wall

“When you haven’t been in a relationship for long...it can be difficult to know what to give when a holiday arrives.”

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PHOTO: BOBBY QUILLARD

I really enjoyed? “Slices for everyone!” Friend just break up with her boyfriend? “Fuck the bastard. Should we put whipped cream on this?” Going into a meeting where you think you might get fired?“I know I’ve been late a lot recently, but if you’ll just let me reach into this bag quick…” When you haven’t been in a relationship for long, which I hear is a somewhat common occurrence for gay men in New York, it can often be difficult to know what to give when a milestone holiday or occasion suddenly arrives. With the season fast approaching, I decided to ask some local stores what they’d recommend. “Why not address the time-issue head on, and give them something timerelated,” suggested Kevin Brynan, the owner of Mxyplyzyk in the West Village. “We have some books related to time and a little necklace with a compass on it suggesting the direction forward.” Joseph Hidalgo, the store manager of Universal Gear in Chelsea, recommended a different route.“To be honest with you, if it’s someone you’ve just met, you’re probably just thinking about having sex. So why not some sexy underwear?” But whatever you do, just don’t get him a pineapple. N

TH: WI

initely cost more than the round of drinks I was planning on buying that night. “Oh my God…Wow, thank you so much,” I said with a look of horror in my eyes. “Oh, this is so great. I, uh…I have something for you, too!” Then I turned around and opened my fridge. You see, for a long time, whenever I didn’t know what to get for someone I would buy them a pineapple. It’s more fun than a card, and, more often than not, I would be involved in the process of eating it soon after. Last day of a class

ING PERSONAL T T E

What is your favorite dance that you’ve ever choreographed? I guess I would say the ones that affect me the most. The one I did on SYTYCD for my mom to “Fix You” and the boy duet to “How It Ends.” Whowouldyoumostwanttochoreographfor?I think I can officially die after I’ve worked with Beyoncé. She’s everything! What’s a useful tip for someone who wants to be a better dancer?Keep training. And go see as many different shows as possible! If you were on death row, what would your last meal be? Is it Thursday? Cause I only eat on Thursdays. If it is it’s my mom’s creamy chicken and green beans? What trend do you wish would die? #hashtags If you could change one withing about New York, what would itbe?Probably that I didn’t get so cold. I’m very excited to go back to warm weather and my pool! What is the most played song on your iPod right now? “Some Nights” by fun. What did you want to be when you grew up? Me! :)

TRAVIS WALL’S EMOTIVE choreography is already well known to fans of So You Think You Can Dance and All the Right Moves, and has even earned the young dancer an Emmy nomination. Now, he’s bringing those impressive skills to the New York theater world. Wall provided all of the choreography for Bare, a rock opera currently playing at NewWorld Stages.The show tells the story of two gay teenagers at a Catholic boarding school, and Wall says the show instantly struck a personal chord with him. “The producers invited me to a reading. And I had no idea what I was walking into and pretty much was crying at the end of Act One because of how much it mirrored my own life,” says Wall. Though he has extensive experience choreographing for television, Wall says that putting a piece together for the stage required him to draw on a completely different skill set.“There are no cameras. You have to be smart in your staging and where to tell the audience to look…It was truly my first time working with actors, not dancers.”

What do you think are people’s biggest misconceptions about dancers? That we are all cutthroat. I have a huge family of dancers that I surround myself with. Not everyone is always out for themselves.

PHOTOS: RYAN FIELD

The Strut-Cracker:

Over-the-top designer Chris March’s new holiday show, The Butt-Cracker Suite, is full of plenty of outrageous costumes. March as Clara

White Trash Mama

Beer Cans

Bowling Pins

Ugly Sweaters

MUSCLE MANIA @ SPLASH Dancers work the stage at Splash during the Chelsea Megaclub’s brand-new Sunday night nearly-nude male revue show.

HOLIDAY TOY DRIVE @ INDUSTRY Dance diva CrystalWaters shines on stage at the Hell’s Kitchen bar’s toy drive.The event was hosted by Sherry Vine. See p.56 for more photos. DECEMBER 7, 2012 7

SPLSH AND MILK STUDIOS PHOTOS: SANTIAGO FELIPE; INDUSTRY PHOTO: GUSTAVO MONROY

THE OUT 100 @ MILK STUDIOS Sharon Needles makes off with her cover shot at Out magazine’s annual celebration. Needles was one of four subjects featured on the cover of this year’s issue.

US

Overheard:

“I think the Indie Spirit nomination is so amazing—I’m totally going to lose and I don’t care!” —Actor Jonathan Lisecki, star of Gayby, on his film’s Independent Spirit Award nomination

Savas Cebeci administers the Hamam Treatment in The Spa's steam room.

>>> What’s Next Now THE SPA AT THE OUT NYC

PHOTO: SANTIAGO FELIPE

WITH THE POPULAR XL Nightclub and a brand-new restaurant KTCHN, you probably didn’t think that the Out NYC hotel could become any more of an all-inclusive gay staycation. That’s about to change, however, with the recently opened The Spa (510 W 42nd St, theoutnyc.com). The meditative retreat in the middle of the hustle and bustle of 42nd Street is open to anyone interested in their relaxing treatments, not just guests staying at the hotel (though the latter receive a discount on services). Centered on a 5,000-square-foot wellness center with a glass-covered atrium and 15-foot waterfall, the space offers a wide variety of signature treatments in a truly tranquil setting. “The Spa is dedicated to providing guests with an escape from the

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frenetic pace of New York City, offering a chance to rejuvenate, restore and recharge,”says spa director Chris Drummond. Some of the exclusive treatments available at the new establishment are Sugaring Hair Removal, Organic Rebalance Therapy and a Detoxifying Algae Treatment Wrap. OSEA, an anti-aging skincare line made of pure vitamins and minerals (combining “ocean, sun, earth and atmosphere,” hence the name) is also featured exclusively at the new wellness center. With personal training available, private yoga and even spray tanning, this oasis in Hell’s Kitchen will definitely get you ready for a night out in the club next door, or a relaxing night in one of the rooms above. —Will Pulos

US

Overheard:

“Alan Cumming.” —Actor Gideon Glick on the person he most wishes was included in this year’s Out 100

BY JOHN RUSSELL

Cruise control CARNIVAL’S DRAG DUST-UP HIGHLIGHTS WHAT MOST PEOPLE STILL DON’T GET ABOUT QUEER CULTURE AND GENDER.

y now you’ve probably heard about the recent“Drag Stars at Sea”cruise that nearly capsized due to the turbulent response to Carnival Cruises’ ban on passengers wearing drag. The reason for the ban seemed muddled from the beginning—with Carnival indicating they wanted to keep the cruise “family friendly” and organizers Al & Chuck’s Travel claiming it had something to do with post-9/11 safety regulations—and after intense public outcry, the cruise line’s CEO, Gerry Cahill, issued a statement rescinding the ban and apologizing for the “miscommunication.” Carnival’s reversal on this issue does indicate a good faith effort on their part, but the initial letter informing passengers of the ban points to a troubling lack of understanding of certain issues surrounding the queer community and gender representation in general. I’m of two minds when it comes to the ban’s relationship to creating a “family-friendly” environment. I reject—as I’m sure Carnival does, given their non-discrimination policies and the fact that they booked the “Drag Stars at Sea” cruise in the first place—the idea that children should be sheltered from exposure to gay people or to people who reject a rigid gender binary. But at the same time, I’m not naïve. I’ve seen other people’s photos of the gay cruises they’ve been on. I understand that Carnival may have just been trying to make sure that all their passengers understood that this was a family cruise, not a circuit party. Still, I resent the implication that gay adults must be reminded to behave in a non-offensive manner. But how exactly did Carnival plan to enforce this ban? What were their criteria for who was in drag and who wasn’t? I suppose the obvious answer would be

B

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BY JOHN RUSSELL

DECEMBER 7, 2012

Got Gay-tention Deficit Disorder? Did the Pope tweet that Angelina Jolie refuses to celebrate the Queerties with Alexander Wang? Read on…

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High-five, New York! Our city got a perfect score on the HRC’s new Municipal Equality Index based on criteria including non-discrimination laws and relationship recognition.

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Mom was wrong; it’s notTV but SMOKING that will rot your brain. A recent King’s College London study finds further evidence supporting the link between smoking and cognitive decline in mid-life.

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President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Anderson Cooper and DARREN CRISS are among the cultural tastemakers honored in Queerty.com’s first annual user-choice awards,The Queerties 2012.

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News that Alexander Wang will replace Nicolas Ghesquière at Balenciaga has been met with concern that the new creative director will replace Ghesquière’s innovative designs with a far more commercial collection.

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Meanwhile, the CDC recently released new numbers that indicate the spread of HIV is heaviest in young gay men.

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With the release of his first single, “I Didn’t Realize,” The Drums’ frontman JOHNNY pIERCE announced last week that he’s now prepping a solo album.

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Gay“blatino”porncompany FlavaWorks was awarded $1.5millionlastweekinone of several online piracy suits, the largest judgment yet in a BitTorrent copyright infringement case.

ANGELINA JOLIE is apparently refusing to spend the holidays with Brad Pitt’s anti-gay mom— says no less a source than Star Magazine!

In his statement commemorating World AIDS Day last weekend, President Obama claimed that an “AIDS-free generation is within sight.”

that guests would have been obliged to refrain from wearing gender inappropriate clothing and accessories. But even for someone who doesn’t reject the very concept of “gender appropriate,” enforcing that ban seems like it would be sticky business in a world where women can wear board shorts to the pool and a guy’s designer document portfolio bears a striking resemblance to a clutch purse. And how would Carnival have differenti-

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and BTW: the Pope is 10 Oh,on TWITTER now.

ated between a dude who had carefully selected a wig and a dress to wear just for fun and a male-to-female transsexual? There’s a significant difference between the gender identities of these types of people, but it’s not always obvious just by looking at them. The fact is that all clothing is drag, and we each perform our unique gender identity every day. But it’s probably too much to ask that a cruise line understand that. N

Boys and Toys:

The Top four types of toys donated at SAGE's annual Toys Party at Chelsea Piers last week: Racing/Mountain Bikes

Life-Sized Stuffed Animals

Technology (iPads)

Sports Equipment

TOYS PARTY 2012 @ CHELSEA PIERS Event organizer Robby Browne (second from right) smiles for the camera with special guest Mayor Michael Bloomberg (far right, with fellow guests AndrewTobias and Deacon Farrell) at the 27th annual benefit.The party raises money for the LGBT elders organization SAGE as well as collecting toys for needy children.This year, the party raised nearly $200,000. See p.56 for more photos.

DECEMBER 7, 2012 11

CHELSEA PIERS PHOTO: GUSTAVO MONROY; W UNION SQUARE AND THE OUT NYC PHOTOS: SANTIAGO FELIPE

LOVE HANGOVER BALL @ W UNION SQUARE The evening’s host Kelly Osbourne shares a laugh with promoter JoshWood during this night of voguing contests that raised money for amfAR. See p.59 for more photos.

KEVIN MCHUGH’S ART BASEL 2012 PREVIEW @ THE OUT NYC Artist Kevin McHugh andThe Out NYC owner Ian Reisner at the special NewYork preview for McHugh upcoming Pucciinspired Art Basel collection.

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PENGUINS (ON) PIPING WELL, TO BE HONEST, we lost track of these cute little critters after eleven. Polar Opposites Penguin/Polar Bear Critter Corduroy Pants by Bonobos. Bonobos.com. $128.

WHO USES A WATCH to tell time anymore? Someone with a watch this sleek and stylish. Extra Normal watches available at GreenerGrassDesign.com. $210–$240.

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LOVES-ON-BRACELETS KEEP YOUR LOVE as colorful as this inspiring wristwear. “Love is Love” and “Create a New Possibility” mantra bracelets by Proposition Love. PropositionLove.com. $45.

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LENSES SNAPPING

FF STAAYS S “What to buy the horror nut who has everything? How about this lavish set, featuring Dracula and gay director James Whale’s Frankenstein films, remastered and loaded with bonus features.” —Justin Lockwood, film critic

…ON ONE CAMERA. You’ve never had this much fun—or looked this shiny—shooting film. Pop9 camera by Lomography (41 W Eighth St). Lomography.com. $39.

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MONSTERS MOANING A COLLECTION OF the most camptastic Hollywood horror icons ever. Universal Classic Monsters: The Essential Collection. Available at Amazon.com. $159.98.

COLORS OF BOXES BOOMING THESE KICKSTARTER-FUNDED Bluetooth speakers are as easy to turn on as they are to mount on your bike. Turtle Shell Rugged Wireless Bluetooth Boombox by OutdoorTech.com. $149.99.

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CANDLES SMELLING LEAVE THE YANKEE CANDLES for your mom. Gay-owned Malin + Goetz’s wicks only burn for gentlemen. Scented candles by Malin + Goetz (177 Seventh Ave). Available in Tobacco, Absolute Rose, Cannabis, Dark Rum, Mojito and Neroli. MalinAndGoetz.com. $48–$52.

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ARTISTS PLATING MAKE EVERY MEAL a masterpiece when you eat off art. Art plates by Artware Editions (270 Bowery). (Rob Wynne: $125; Jeff Koons: $98; Sol LeWitt: $208; Jorge Julián Aristizábal: $80–$100; Rudolf Stingel: $98.) ArtwareEditions.com.

AUTOMATICALLY GROWING PLANTS IT’S EASY TO garden when all you have to do is press a button. Click and Grow Starter Kits (Basil, Mini-Tomato, Cockscomb, Chili Pepper). ClickAndGrow.com. $39.99–$59.99.

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SLUTTY SWEATERS

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RULE THE UGLY-SWEATER party with one of these flirty knits. Holiday sweaters by Skedouche.com. (Red Rocket Rudolph, Excited Snowman, Nutcracker.) $64.99–$82.99.

SETS A-SHAKING WHAT NEXT? EVEN YOUR salt and pepper shakers can get married. Mr/Mr Muse Salt & Pepper Shakers by Jonathan Adler (37 Greenwich Ave). JonathanAdler.com. $48.

AND A SALTY SHOT GLASS UNDER A JÄGERMEISTER TAP MACHINE WHO WOULDN’T GIGGLE like a kid again after receiving a bar-ready Jäger-dispensing refrigerator? Unless you’re more a tequila-shots doer, in which case these shot glasses—made of salt—will incite that wanten holiday gasp. Jägermeister Tap Machine. TapMachineINC.com. $299; Himalayan Salt Tequila Glasses available at Uncommon Goods. UncommonGoods.com. $30/set of four.

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AVE TO BRE IFT DOESN’T H

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Chic Wrap, professional-quality plastic wrap. Available at A Cook’s Companion (197 Atlantic Ave, ACooksCompanion.com). ChicWrap.com. $9.99.

FF STAAYS S “Minogue’s stirring renditions of her most celebrated catalog with a full orchestra is the perfect holiday gift for all the lovers.” —Keo Nozari, music editor

The Abbey Road Sessions Deluxe Edition by Kylie Minogue. Available on iTunes. $14.88.

Parisian Polka Dot Crock & Spreader set by Butter Bell. Available at Sur La Table (75 Spring St, SurLaTable.com). ButterBell.com. $29.95.

Vodka Zinger fruit infuser. Available at Brookstone (30 Rockefeller Plaza, Brookstone.com). ZingAnything.com. $25.95.

Playbutton MP3 player by Yotel (570 10th Ave, Yotel.com). Playbutton.com. $15. Soupstix spoon and chopsticks combo by DCI. Available at SpoonSisters.com. DCIGift.com. $8.75. Dirty Santa Christmas cards. DirtySantasWorkshop.com. $2.99 per card; $14.99 sack of five.

iPhone 4/5 Case by Colors Tokyo for Keith Haring Collection. Available at Tagg (720 Ninth Ave, TaggStore.com). ColorsTokyo.com. $28.

Broadway’s Carols for a Cure, Volume 14. Available at BroadwayCares.org. $23.

FF STAAYS S

Natural Shaving Brush by Poketo.com. $18.

“This L.A.-based store is my new favorite obsession. It marries independent artists with just the right amount of kitsch for the perfect conversation piece.” —Benjamin Solomon, editor-in-chief

Collapsible Bowl Set by Aladdin. Available at SpoonSisters.com. Aladdin.com. $24.95. Ben Cohen’s StandUp Foundation Supporter Rugby Ball by Gilbert. Available at WorldRugbyShop.com/Standup.html. GilbertRugby.com. $19.99.

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Lay Z Gaga wall calendar. LayZGaga.com. $13.99.

Indelicate Doilies by Knock Knock. Available at A.I. Friedman (44 W 18th St, AIFriedman.com). KnockKnockStuff.com. $10.

FF STAAYS S

Vivid Contour Pouch Brief by 2(X)ist (1411 Broadway through Dec 24). 2xist.com. $24.

The Jot Pro stylus by Adonit. Adonit.net. $30. “My recommendation for that budding artist who owns an iPad.” —Tim Paul, staff illustrator

Jesse Tyler Fergusson Diamond Tip Bow Tie by TieTheKnot.org. Available at TheTieBar.com. $25.

The Knock headphones by Coloud. Available at Macy’s (51 W 34th St, Macys.com). Coloud.com. $20.

FF STAAYS S “For a good cause, buy a bow-tie from the Tie the Knot charity and give it to a gay friend.” —Will Pulos, associate editor

FF STAAYS S “Kick in the New Year with the New York Ramblers Soccer Boys and their balls.” —Jeff Kagan, sports columnist

New York Ramblers Soccer Club 2013 Calendar. NewYorkRamblers.org. $21.

Sunset Boulevard on Blu-ray. Available at Amazon.com. $24.99.

Chris March holiday card by Nobleworks.com. Available at Delphinium Home (353 W 47th St, DelphiniumHome.com). $3.75.

Cara Scissoria Christmas card. Available at House of Cards and Curiosities (23 Eighth Ave; HouseOfCards.ypguides.net). $4.50.

Dapper Drink Markers by Kikkerland. Available at Delphinium Home (353 W 47th St, DelphiniumHome.com). Kikkerland.com. $5.95.

After Hours Lube by Lucas Entertainment. Available at Vishara Video (787 Eighth Ave, 212582-2262). LucasEntertainment.com. $20.

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Bubble Buttons Mustache Pack by Squid. Available at Urban Outfitters (various locations, UrbanOutfitters.com) BubbleButtons.com. $4.99.

Paintbrush stylus by Nomad. Available at Best Buy (various locations, BestBuy.com) NomadBrush.com. $29.

FF STAAYS S

Sweet Perversion cards. SweetPerversion.com. $4; $12 set of six; $21.50 set of 12.

“Their twisted Christmas cards are amazing.” —Matthew Tharrett, marketing director

Soap on a rope by Rufskin (235 W 19th St.) Rufskin.com. $22.

Colton Ford The Way I Am 2013 Fantasy Calendar. Available at PeaceBisquit.com. $27.99.

Faux Tin Mug by Poketo.com. $12.

Rock on Gandalf! On December 8 The Rolling Stones play Barclays Center and on December 14 Peter Jackson’s adaptation of J.R.R Tolkien’s The Hobbit, hits theaters.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY TIM PAUL TIMPAULILLUSTRATIONS.COM

WEEK

MIKE RUIZ BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION XL Nightclub, 512 W 42nd St (btwn 10th/11th Aves), xlnightclub.com. Celebrity photographer Mike Ruiz celebrates his birthday in Hell’s Kitchen with DJs Whitney Day and Bill Coleman and performances by Carmen Electra, Martha Wash, Janice Robinson, Jason Walker and The Ones. A portion of the evening’s proceeds will benefit the Ali Forney Center. 9pm–midnight; free.

F WORD Splash, 50 W 17th St (btwn Fifth/Sixth Aves), splashbar.com. A whole slew of hosts help Mark Nelson kick off December with the first F Word of what doomsday theororists say might be the last month the world exists! Special guest DJs hold down the decks as guys dance to pop and Top 40 remixes. Get there early for $2 drinks till 11pm. If the world might be ending, why not party hard? 10pm; general admission varies.

SHAKE AND POP FRIDAYS Hardware, 697 10th Ave (btwn 47th/48th Sts), hardwarebar.com. Cheap drinks and a fun-loving crowd make the new Hell’s Kitchen bar a hit as DJ Kindbud and Susan Levine spin pop and Top 40. Asks Hardware, “So you sing along to all the best pop songs and dance around in your apartment: well, why not do that with a room full of hot guys on a Friday night?” 10pm; free.

THE FAINT Terminal 5, 610 W 56th St (btwn 11th/12th Aves), terminal5nyc.com. A mixed crowd heads to Terminal 5 as psycho-technopunk-electronica band The Faint plays their album, Danse Macabre, in its entirety. Trust and Icky Blossoms open. 8pm; $25.

FRIDAY

DECEMBER 7

WHAT TO SEE & WHERE TO BE DECEMBER 7 THROUGH DECEMBER 16

CONTACT ALEX ERIKSON AT LISTINGS@NEXTMAGAZINE.NET IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE LISTED. LISTINGS ARE FREE AND SUBJECT TO EDITORIAL DISCRETION.

24 DECEMBER 7, 2012

SUN IN MY MOUTH SCREENING 3rd Ward Brooklyn, 195 Morgan Ave (btwn

Stagg/Meadow Sts), Bushwick, 3rdward.com. During the Brooklyn Magazine Winter Issue Launch party at the Bushwick work space they’ll screen Jessica Tarofsky’s gay-themed film, Sun in My Mouth. “There will be plenty of drinks, art and friends, so come and join us!” says Yatrofsky. 8pm; free. THE CHELSEA SYMPHONY St. Paul’s Church, 315 W 22nd St (btwn Eighth/Ninth Aves), chelseasymphony.org. Special guest Mo Rocca—who joins a list of previous special guests that includes Charles Bush, David Hyde Pierce and Rachel Dratch—narrates the world premiere of Chelsea Symphony composer Seth Bedford’s In a Snowy Day: Poem for Orchestra, as well as Chelsea Symphony resident composer Aaron Dai’s The Night Before Christmas at their annual holiday concert. The concert is technically free, but a $20 donation is suggested. 8pm; $20.

FRIDAY DECEMBER 7

HOW TO THROW THE BEST HOLIDAY PARTY

WEEK

D.I.Y.

DALLAS DUBOIS AND JACKIE HOFFMAN EXPLAIN THE BASICS OF THROWING A KILLER DECEMBER SHINDIG.

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Jackie Hoffman; (inset) Dallas DuBois

DALLAS DUBOIS PHOTO:MICHAEL MALLARD; JACKIE HOFFMAN PHOTO COURTESY DAVID GERSTEN

n gay New York, there are at least two things that make the early sunsets and bitter cold of December a little more bearable: holiday shows and holiday parties. In case you are contemplating whether or not to put together the perfect winter soirée for the boys, we spoke to two gals who know how to show you a good Holiday time: Dallas Dubois, whose twisted Christmas show, Distorted Kristmess, has its final run at the Laurie Beechman on December 7, and Jackie Hoffman, who gets on stage for Hanukkah hilarity in A Chanukah Charol, at New World Stages through December 29. —Alex Erikson

P “I usually determine my guest list STE by a couple of ways…good 1 FIGURE OUT THE GUEST LIST

friends, who’s the life of the party and who has the biggest present…cough…to bring,”says Dallas Dubois. “I am a size queen, you know.” Jackie Hoffman says that it’s more important to think about what kind of people— and what kinds of activities those people want to partake in— you want to have at your party.“Don’t mix your pot smokers and drinkers with people in 12-step programs,” she quips. “It could get ugly.”

P FIND A VENUE STE “Nothing beats a person’s apart2 HOME OR AWAY?

ioned route and send actual paper invitations, or do things online? “Hate that evite shit. Buy old-fashioned children’s party invites. I have Powerpuff Girls,”says Hoffman. On the other hand, “Usually [I do] evites. I’m the queen of those. However, I do like a clever idea for a card/invite through snail mail, too,”says Dubois.

ment if you ask me,”says Hoffman. But Dallas disagrees. Do something unexpected, she says.“I love finding a cool place to throw an event and usually something unconventional—like a Christmas party [at] an ice-skating rink at night, or someFOOD/BOOZE/ thing cool like that.” Still, Hoffman points TEP ENTERTAINMENT S out the merits of doing things at home: 4 This step can be the make-orbreak aspect of a party. Not “You can always adjust the music level, and look through their medicine cabinet.” enough booze and the party will end too

P STE In a digital world, do 3 you go the old-fashSEND INVITES

26 DECEMBER 7, 2012

soon; not the right kind of booze and musicals in the background, like any guys won’t be socially lubricated enough; black-and-white film.” bad entertainment just reflects poorly on the host. “Food has got to be something THE DAY OF within the season to keep with the TEP To be a laid-back host or not to S theme, like sweet potato pie or chocolate 5 be a laid-back host: that is the pecan pie,” says Dubois. “Just make sure question.“I prefer an active host; there is a variety of booze—unless its that, knowing my OCD and control issues, one of those 12-step parties—’cause would likely be me. I still would mingle people have their own poison,”says Hoff- and party but make sure everyone else is man. “A signature drink is always fun.” having a great time, too!”advises Dubois. Dallas says that keeping the entertain- But Hoffman thinks that might not be ment simple but offbeat might be a good super-fun for you.“My mom says a relaxed idea. “I do love some good heavy dance hostess is a happy hostess. Get everything music, or quite the opposite and do no set up before so that you can hang with music but play some classic older movie your friends, but don’t get too wasted.”

Distorted Kristmess at the Laurie Beechman Theater, 407 W 42nd St (btwn Ninth/10th Aves), spincyclenyc.com, Dec 7 at 10pm; $15 (plus $15 food/drink minimum). A Chanukah Charol at New World Stages, 340 W 50th St (btwn Eighth/Ninth Aves), newworldstages.com, Fris and Sats through Dec 29 and Weds, Dec 26 at 8pm; $39.50 general admission/$59.50 premium seats.

SATURDAY DECEMBER 8 SATURDAYS Industry, 355 W 52nd St (btwn Eighth/Ninth Aves), industry-bar.com. The popular Hell’s Kitchen spot packs in a crowd of cute boys to dance and drink. Rotating DJs spin. 10pm; free. NY RAMBLERS 2013 CALENDAR RELEASE PARTY Gym Sportsbar, 167 Eighth Ave (btwn 18th/19th Sts), newyorkramblers.org. The hot guys from the New York gay soccer club have worked hard splashing their semi-nude torsos across their new calendar—and they want to share it with you! Pick one up (the proceeds of which go toward sending the Ramblers to the 2013 World Outgames in Antwerp, Belgium) and mingle with the boys at this evening’s release party. 5pm; free. GAYALDI Basque Club, 307 Eckford St (btwn Calyer St/Greenpoint Ave), NEW Greenpoint, freewebs.com/basquecliub. Adult film star Antton Harri invites gays who are a part of the ethnic group that straddles the French/Spanish boarder to Greenpoint to celebrate the 100-year anniversary of The Basque Club, a non-profit American-Basque cultural institution. “Gayaldi is meant to be an anniversary that brings queer and non-queer, Basque and non-Basque together,” says Harri. You don’t need an excuse to enjoy the $3 beers and $4 well drinks, though! DJ Ron Like Hell spins. 10pm; $5. JB SATURDAYS XL Nightclub, 512 W 42nd St (btwn 10th/11th Aves), xlnightclub.com. Newly out The Voice finalist Frenchie Davis has also just come out with her debut single “Love’s Got A Hold On Me.” The songstress used to perform at the old XL Lounge in Chelsea, and tonight she’s bringing it home with a 1am performance at the club’s Hell’s Kitchen incarnation. 10pm; cover varies. HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Beacon Theatre, 2124 Broadway (btwn 74th/75th Sts), bea-

WEEK

contheatre.com. Cyndi Lauper heads to the Beacon Theatre for a star-studded concert featuring Sarah McLachlan, Adam Lambert, Whoopi Goldberg, Rosie O’Donnell and Andy Cohen alongside host Carson Kressley. The evening will benefit Lauper’s True Colors Fund, which works to raise awareness about LGBT homeless youth. 8pm; $35–$500.

JUDY AND LIZA TOGETHER AGAIN Don’t Tell Mama, 343 W 46th St (btwn Eighth/Ninth SEXY, CYBER WINTER CABARET Uncle Aves), donttellamanyc.com. The real Judy Gar- Charlie’s, 139 W 45th St (btwn Lexington/Third land and Liza Minnelli haven’t been able to ap- Aves), unclecharlesnyc.com. A whole gaggle of pear on stage together in over four decades, but performers head to the Midtown bar, including that hasn’t kept drag performers Rick Skye and Tyler French, Heaven Stevens, Matthew Hardy Tommy Femia from channeling the mother- and Anita Welch as Jay Tumminello tickles the daughter duo. Femia—a seven-time winner of ivories at this jazzy evening of winter entertainthe MAC Award for his portrayal ment. 7pm; $18. of Garland in Judy Garland Live, which has run for more than NIGHT OF 100 CROWNS twenty seasons at Don’t Tell Stonewall Inn, 53 Christopher St Mama—brings Skye to the (btwn Waverly Pl/Seventh Ave), Visit nextmagazine.com stage for an extended run of stonewallinnnyc.com. Miss and for more event listings their performances of classic Mr. Gay NJ and Miss Gay NYC songs, parodies and duets. Addihost this benefit for the Beacon tional performances December 15 and 22. Light Fund. 8pm–11pm; cover varies. 8:30pm; $25 (plus two drink minimum). GREENPOINTERS HOLIDAY MARKET NIGHT THOUGHTS Spectrum, 121 Ludlow From the Source, 69 West St (@ Noble St), St (btwn Rivington/Delancey Sts), face- Greenpoint, fromthesourceny.com. A mixed book.com/spectrumnyc. Out pianist Adam crowd of Brooklynites head to Greenpoint to pick Tendler presents a concert of works by modern up holiday wears at this holiday gift market that American composers, including several by gay will include vendors like Greenpoint Trading Comcomposers such as Aaron Copland, Anthony pany, Hecho en Brooklyn, I’m So Brooklyn Apparel Porter and John Cage. All proceeds to benefit the and many others. The kicker? They’ll have a bar Ali Forney Center. 6:30pm; $10. with festive drinks, a holiday photobooth and a gift-wrapping station. Noon–6pm; free. MY FAVORITE BROADWAY The Duplex, 61 Christopher St (@ Seventh Ave), theduplex.com. BOYFRIEND MATERIAL The LGBT Center, Theater queens and Broadway fans head to The 208 W 13th St (btwn Greenwich/Seventh Aves), Duplex for out crooner Michael Carmine Di bfmaterialny.com. Do you swoon for manly Bianco’s show of works by Rodgers and Hammer- men? Boyfriend Material has just the answer to stein, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Leonard Bernstein your prayers: a speed-dating event for super masc guys. 8pm; $20. and others. 7pm; $10 (plus two drink minimum).

Shine bright like a diamond.

SUNDAY DECEMBER 9 SNAXXSTRAVAGANZA: A 10TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY XL Nightclub, 512 W 42nd St (btwn 10th/11th Ave), xlnightclub.com. Remember 2002? The Euro became the official currency of the EU, the Winter Olympics happened in Salt Lake City and Snaxx started what would wind up being a ten-year run. (Ah, what a year!) Tonight, DJs Rich King and Gustavo Mottathey celebrate their “tin” anniversary with a special performance from Barbara Tucker and guest DJ Q. 6pm–midnight; free before 7pm/$10 general admission.

SIXTH-ANNUAL MENORAH HORAH: THE ROYAL EDITION Highline Ballroom, 431 W

28 DECEMBER 7, 2012

QUEER NOT COOL The Secret Theatre, 4402 23rd St (btwn 44th Rd/44th Ave), Long Island City, secrettheatre.com/latenight. Rob Ribar’s queer comedy show focuses on out artists sharing their geeky obsessions and queer takes on nerd culture. This month Ribar’s got Kevin Allison (of MTV’s The State and storytelling podcast Risk) to riff on the theme “nerd sex.” Things could get hot! 10:30pm; $10.

16th St (btwn Ninth/10th Aves), highlineballroom.com. Sherry Vine hosts this dazzling dreidel-themed burlesque event starring The Schlep Sisters, Little Brooklyn, Bastard Keith, the Main Attraction, the Evil Hate Monkey and others. 6pm; $20 in advance/$25 general admission/$30 VIP in advance/$35 VIP. SUNDAY FUNDAY Nowhere, 322 E 14th St (btwn First/Second Aves), 212-477-4744. Matt Bell and Eddie Black are back—and this afternoon they’ll be serving up free pizza and slinging $5 donation shots to help raise funds for the Occupy Sandy relief efforts. Scissor Sisters’ resident DJ Sammy Jo spins. 5pm–8pm; free.

SUNDAYS The Double Seven, 63 Gansevoort St (btwn Greenwich/Washington Sts), fvevents.com. Brandon Voss and Tony Fornabaio host their newish jazz-themed live performance night. DJs Lina and Miss Guy spin and special guests perform. 8pm–1am; free. MONTHLY GEEK TRIVIA The LGBT Center, 208 W 13th St (btwn Greenwich/Seventh Aves), gaygeeksofny.com. Mingle, nerd out about comic books and then enjoy a rousing game of trivia—geek style! They’ll ask questions based on classic nerd genres like comics, video games, TV shows, books and more. 5:30pm–8:30pm; $5.

SUNDAY DECEMBER 9

MAD FOR MUSCLES THE ROUNDUP

WEEK

FIND YOUR FILL OF NEARLY-NAKED MAN MEAT AT THESE M4M REVUES.

efore anyone gets too excited about the growing number of M4M strip nights in New York, let’s remember one thing: the laws prohibiting fully nude dancers in an establishment that sells alcohol are still on the books. Damn! But now on Sundays, gay mega-club Splash offers up their own M4M strip night, Muscle Mania, meaning gay boys looking to ogle nearly nude dudes thankfully have one more option in a city whose dearth of gay strip revues is lacking. But thanks to Splash, and the following M4M nights, that might be changing. —AE

B

Frank and Bryce at Adonis Lounge

Muscle Mania at Splash

Adonis Lounge at Evolve 221 E 58th St (btwn Second/Third Aves), evolvebarandloungenyc.com Definitely a grower (not a show-er!), since

PHOTO: GUSTAVO MONROY

50 W 17th St (btwn Fifth/Sixth Aves), splashbar.com The Chelsea mega-club may have go-go boys werking the box basically every night of the week, but now that fall temperatures threaten to dip into winter wasteland territory, Splash has teamed up with GayMaleRevue.com to keep things extra steamy on Sundays. They’ll have an “allmale revue, almost naked for you” along side $5 Stoli cocktails till 9pm for homos on a budget, or VIP bottle service and reservations for guys looking to make it rain. Muscle Mania, Suns at 6pm; cover varies.

starting three years ago in Greenpoint— of all places—Timothy de Iturriaga’s popular Wednesday revue has moved to Manhattan and taken over a second night. You can see de Iturriaga’s muscle gods do their thing on Saturday nights as well as the usualWednesdays these days. And not getting totally nude isn’t all bad:“It’s easier to get guys to go-go because you don’t have to get naked,” explains Matt Colunga,

a friend of de Iturriaga who runs M4M nights in Atlanta, Ga. “If you got a small dick, nobody knows!” Weds at 8pm and Sats at 9pm; $10.

20 Club Sundays 20 W 20th St (btwn Fifth/Sixth Aves), 212-633-0934 Expect to pay a pretty penny for this M4M

MONDAY DECEMBER 10

NEW

EUROPHORIA Hardware, 697 10th Ave (btwn 47th/48th Sts), hardwarebar.com. Israel’s Itai Eithan Shamir and Gilad Mandelboim join DJ Ohricky at the new Hell’s Kitchen bar, Hardware, for a trip across the pond at their new monthly celebration of the Eurovision song contest. “It’s not gay…it’s European.” Right… 7pm; free.

mous voice—and a great friend—when gay activist, poet and co-executive director of Queers for Economic Justice passed away on November 9. Tonight, folks come out to celebrate Campos’ life and pay their respects with poetry readings, musical performances, performance art and drag, natch. The event is free, but they’ll be collecting donations for Brandon’s family at the door. 7pm; free.

CELEBRATION OF THE LIGHT AND LIFE OF BRANDON LACY CAMPOS Galapagos Art Space, 16 Main St (@ Water St), Dumbo, galapagosartspace.com. The community lost an enor-

CITY OF HOPE: BROADWAY BLOWS BACK Gershwin Theatre, 22 W 51st St (btwn Broadway/Eighth Ave), broadwayblowsback.com. A slew of theater queens and Broad-

revue, but what strip club isn’t expensive? “I say get a wad of cash and go,” wrote one online commenter. The guys are hot and as they mingle and get frisky on the floor, each eventually heads to the stage to do a little ditty. There’s a VIP room where the dances aren’t completely private—and sadly there’s still no touching allowed— but you can get a little one-on-one lovin’. Suns at 5pm; $20.

way boys head to the Gershwin Theatre to raise money for those affected by Hurricane Sandy. The evening will feature performances by a laundry list of Broadway stars. 7:30pm; $25–$109.25. DEFIANTLY FABULOUS Ripley-Grier Studios, 939 Eighth Ave (btwn 55th/56th Sts), ripleygrier.com. Robert Monegan had hoped to present this gay parody of the classic 1958 film The Defiant Ones—but Hurricane Sandy had other plans. Tonight he’ll present the first of two readings—with free wine! Additional performance Dec 11. 7:30pm; free.

DECEMBER 7, 2012 29

BARS+CLUBS

MANHATTAN

405 W 51st St 

POSH

348 W 52nd St 

525 W 29th St 

SECRET

512 W 42nd St 

4168 Broadway 

NO PARKING

301 W 39th St 

ESCUELITA

656 Ninth Ave 

Delphinium Home

Michael Quinn, John Soroka and Gary Alaimo consolidated their several Hell’s Kitchen businesses into Delphinium Home—and they signed a 15-year lease on the space! At the combo shop you’ll find everything from greeting cards to show curtains to novelty items.

Out and proud, Rainbows and Triangles has been outfitting Chelsea gays with cards, wrapping paper, bags, stationary, candles and more since 1994.

192 Eighth Ave (btwn 19th/20th Sts), rainbowsandtriangles.com

If you’re buying for the nasty pig in your life, look no further than, well, Nasty Pig. They’ve got an exclusive line of clothing—from gauntlets to jockstraps and everything in between— designed for and by gay men.

265A W 19th St (btwn Seventh/Eighth Aves), nastypig.com

Nasty Pig

100% of proceeds from this pop-up undie shop, open through December 24, will go to the American Red Cross in Greater New York to help the continued cleanup in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. You can look good and do good!

1411 Broadway (btwn 39th/40th Sts), 2xist.com

139 E 45th St 

UNCLE CHARLIE’S

221 E 58th St 

EVOLVE

227 E 56th St 

LIPS

236 E 58th St 

TOWNHOUSE

1742 Second Ave 

TOOL BOX

HOME DÉCOR

KEY: TYPE OF STORE

A

CLOTHING

KNICKKNACKS

fter all that Black Friday madness at big-box stores, the importance of spending your holiday shopping dollars at local gay-owned and affiliated shops is more apparent than ever. To help keep it all in the family this year, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite gay shops all over town and determined what you’ll find at each locale. —Alex Erikson

Gifting Gay

Whether you’re in Chelsea or Hell’s Kitchen, the guys at Universal Gear are super helpful—not that you could go wrong with their selection, anyway.

140 Eighth Ave (@ 17th St), 715 Ninth Ave (@ 49th St), universalgear.com

353 W 47th St (btwn Eighth/Ninth Aves), delphiniumhome.com

2(x)ist Pop-Up Shop

9TH AVENUE SALOON

369 W 46th St 

THE RITZ

331 W 51st St 

VLADA

344 W 52nd St 

Universal Gear

240 W 52nd St 

ST PICAFF K

Owner Sean Patrick Ryan (co-producer of annual Fire Island beach bash Ascension) has curated an up-tempo clothing boutique for stylish, fun-loving Hell’s Kitchen boys. He even throws parties in the store from time to time.

720 Ninth Ave (@ 49th St), taggnyc.com

Tagg

104 Dyckman St 

LE BOY

LUCKY CHENG’S

BAMBOO 52

355 W 52nd St 

INDUSTRY

793 Ninth Ave 

FLAMING SADDLES

Rainbows and Triangles

XL NIGHTCLUB

642 10th Ave 

BAR-TINI ULTRA LOUNGE

401 W 47th St 

BARRAGE

697 10th Ave 

HARDWARE

500 W 48th St 

FAIRYTAIL LOUNGE

309 Amsterdam Ave 

992 Amsterdam Ave 

THERAPY

CANDLE BAR

SUITE

p MA T U LLO U p

(See description above.)

LATE-NIGHT CRUISING

CLUB

 LESBIAN

 FOOD

 NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

 HAPPY HOUR

 LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

 DANCING

WHAT’S THE SCENE?

185 Christopher St 

ROCKBAR

114 Christopher St 

TY’S

115 Christopher St 

THE HANGAR

76 Christopher St 

BOOTS & SADDLE

281 W 12th St 

CUBBYHOLE

59 Grove St 

MARIE’S CRISIS

121 Varick St nextmagazine.com

HEADQUARTERS

This adorable little West Village shop’s hours vary in winter months, so you may want to call ahead, but their selection of unusual collectibles, natural history items and exotica make for perfect gifts for the lovers of trinkets and knickknacks in your life.

Bookworms: head to Bleecker Street to hit Marc Jacobs’ store where you’ll find tomes covering art, design, fashion, music and more. Bookmarc also offers some of the merch from his now-closed Marc by Marc Jacobs shop that once stood just around the corner.

400 Bleecker St (@ W 11th St), marcjacobs.com

Bookmarc

438 Hudson St 

HENRIETTA HUDSON

80 Grove St 

Judson Harmon first launched Odd, the freshly minted Lower East Side boutique, as an onlineonly shop in January, but after seeing enormous success with the e-commerce platform, decided to open a brick-and-mortar, too. In addition to his own line of dark and brooding garments, Harmon’s shop carries brands like Skingraft, Rochambeau and others.

164 Ludlow St (btwn Houston/Stanton Sts), odd-style.com

Odd

BOILER ROOM 86 E Fourth St 

29 Second Ave 

31 Second Ave 

URGE

505 E Sixth St 

EASTERN BLOC

447 E 13th St 

PHOENIX

322 E 14th St 

NOWHERE

THE COCK

Simon Doonan’s hubby has four home décor shops in Manhattan: this one in the West Village, a Soho spot (47 Greene St) and one each in the Upper East Side (1097 Madison Ave) and Upper West Side (304 Columbus Ave).

37 Greenwich Ave (@ Charles St), jonathanadler.com

Two locations in Chelsea, you ask?You’ll find a slightly higher-end set of wares at the Ninth Avenue outpost of this style center.

231 W 19th St (btwn Seventh/Eighth Aves), 160 Ninth Ave (@ 20th St), behaviournewyork.com

Behaviour

The New York retail location of Rufskin (the flagship store is in San Diego, and they’ve also got a shop in the Netherlands) is in the heart of Chelsea. Their specialty is denim, but you can get everything from swimwear to custom leather here.

235 W 19th St (btwn Seventh/Eighth Aves), rufskin.com

Rufskin

Jonathan Adler

8 Christopher St 

PIECES

53 Christopher St 

THE MONSTER

159 W 10th St 

JULIUS

208 W 13th St gaycenter.org

50 W 17th St 

STONEWALL

225 W 19th St 

SPLASH

157 W 24th St 

XES

G LOUNGE

37 W 20th St 

BOXERS

LGBT CENTER

61 Christopher St 

DUPLEX

23 Eighth Ave (Jane/W 12th Sts), 212-675-6178

House of Cards and Curiosities

You may not be able to pronounce the name, but you will be able to find the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop-for guy in your life. They’ve got everything from pens shaped like tools, to a “gun mug”to Andy Cohen’s book Most Talkative.

125 Greenwich Ave (@ 13th St), mxyplyzyk.com

Mxyplyzyk

167 Eighth Ave 

GYM SPORTSBAR

275 W 22nd St 

BARRACUDA

140 Eighth Ave (@ 17th St), 715 Ninth Ave (@ 49th St), universalgear.com

Universal Gear

212 Eighth Ave 

RAWHIDE

554 W 28th St 

THE EAGLE

>>> MAPKEY

BROOKLYN & QUEENS MAPS ON FOLLOWING PAGE >>>

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TUESDAY DECEMBER 11

COCKY TUESDAYS Bar-Tini Ultra Lounge, 642 10th Ave (btwn 45th/46th NEW Sts), bar-tiniultralounge.com. Sasha Seven launches his newest party in Hell’s Kitchen along side Antonio Cedeno and DJ Kimani-G. They’ll have 2-for-1 drinks till 1am and plenty of sexy HK boys. 10pm; free.

TOYS FOR TOTS Boots and Saddle, 76 Christopher St (btwn Seventh Ave/Bleecker St), bootsnsaddle.com. Not to be confused with the annual Toys Party at Chelsea Piers, Boots and Saddle’s party has a similar goal: collecting toys so that less fortunate kids can still get presents this holiday season. You can even get a free shot with every unwrapped bauble you bring in. Victoria Chase and the United States Marine Corp. host. 9pm; free. THE LIPS HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR Lips, 227 E 56th St (btwn Second/Third Aves), lipsnyc.com. Blackie O’Nasty Claus does her annual holiday production at the Midtown East drag haunt with her fabulous dragettes. Tonight is the second of three shows. Final show December 18.

It’s a “miracle on 56th Street!” 9pm; free (plus food/drink minimum).

98TH ANNUAL DINNER: CELEBRATING LGBT EQUALITY Waldorf-Astoria, 301 Park Ave (btwn 49th/50th Sts), nycla.org. The New York County Lawyers Association is hosting their 98th-annual gala dinner—and they’re honoring corporations and law firms that have demonstrated a commitment to LGBT Equality. Hon. Eric T. Schneiderman, Attorney General of the State of New York, is the evening’s key note speaker, with opening remarks by Christine Quinn. 6:30pm; $280 NYCLA Member/$325 general admission. EMERY AWARDS The Altman Building, 135 W 18th St (btwn Sixth/Seventh Aves), hmi.org. In 1979, Dr. Emery Hetrick, a psychiatrist, and his partner, Dr. A. Damien Martin, a professor at NYU, started the Institute for the Protection of Lesbian and Gay Youth as a non-profit organization to help safeguard gay young people after a homeless gay teenager was attacked by his fellow homeless shelter residents and then kicked

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 12 GOOD TIMES Eastern Bloc, 505 E Sixth St (btwn Aves A/B), twerking.com. Josh Sparbar packs in the bearded and beautiful for vintage porn on the screens and antics on the stripper pole at his midweek dance sesh in the Sovietthemed Alphabet City dive. 10pm; free. ELECTRIC ECLECTIC BEAUTIES OF THE GLORIOUS NIGHTLIFE Strange Loop Gallery, 27 Orchard St (btwn Canal/Hester Sts), strangeloopgallery.com. Out singer and nightlifer Shane Shane gave 12 artists a disposable camera so that they could document “the glorious nightlife” and tonight the fruits of their labor go on display, with an opening reception. 6pm–9pm; free.

THURSDAY

2 S SARY Industry, 355 W 52nd St (btwn EAR Eighth/Ninth Aves), industry-bar.com.

DILF: LET DADDY TRAIN YOU G Lounge, 225 W 19th St (btwn Seventh/Eighth Aves), glounge.com. Tonight’s edition of G’s weekly daddy party welcomes Brandon Clark of Crunch Gym— which just opened it’s newest location, right across the street from G—to offer special discount training packages that’ll help the crowd get sweaty and sexy at the same time. DJ Jonny Mack spins and daddy go-gos work the floor. 10pm; free. SQUIRT The Hangar, 115 Christopher St (btwn Bleecker/Hudson Sts), thehangarbarnyc.com. The boys at the laidback Christopher Street spot throw a old school soul and funk party for a loyal crowd of West Village gays. Enjoy $4 Bud and Bud Light and well drinks all night. 9pm; free.

It’s an all-singing, all-dancing, all star blow out as Dallas Dubois takes the 52nd Street stage to celebrate Queen’s venture into the terrible twos. DJ David Serrano spins. 11pm; free. WOOD Roam Lounge, 5 E 19th St (btwn Broadway/Fifth Ave), roam-nyc.com. There’s two floors of bars and boys at Jason Hellinger’s newest addition to Thursday nights. DJ Nando spins as Adriana Le Glam and Shameless McGreedy host. 10pm; free.

HOMO ERECTUS Stonewall Inn, 53 Christopher St (btwn Waverly Pl/Seventh Ave), stonewallinnnyc.com. Geeks Out and Matt Knife present a night of dirty and nerdy burlesque featuring Go-Go Harder, Teddy Turnaround, Kheaven Jesus, Lucky Charming, Iris Explosion, Lewd Al-

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34 DECEMBER 7, 2012

A SRSLY GRUMPY HOLIDAY SHOW The People’s Improv Theater, 123 E 24th St (btwn Park/Lexington Aves), thepit-nyc.com. In out comedian H. Alan Scott’s cranky holiday show it’s the night before Christmas and Grumpy Films’ Michelle Dowdy and Mona Mour are doing their best cheer Scott up after he’s been diagnosed with…testicular cancer? “This special cancery retelling of A Christmas Carol will warm your hearts and make you get a cancer screening,” says Scott. 8pm; $8.

SIMPLY BARBRA: A VERY BROOKLYN CHRISTMAS 54 Below, 254 W 54th St (btwn Broadway/Eighth Ave), simplybarbra.com. Renowned Streisand impersonator Steven Brinberg does the first of two performances with special guest star Claybourne Elder. Additional performance December 30. 9:30pm; $20 (plus $25 food/drink minimum). HOLIDAY BLIPS Tada! Theater, 15 W 28th St (btwn Fifth Ave/Broadway), yournamehereqtc.org. Queer theater company {Your Name Here} presents a holiday-themed evening of short plays focusing on queer writers and queer ideas with work by Hal Corley, Joshua Bastian Cole, Emily Kaczmarek and others. 7pm; $5.

DECEMBER 13 BASSMENT The Monster, 80 Grove St (@ Seventh Ave), bassmentparty.com. Fall down a (book) worm hole with Bookwrmz DJs Nita and Michael Magnan at Mandy Graves and Jools Palmer’s weekly night of house. Jamil La’Beija serves the looks as tonight’s host. He’ll help the mixed crowd of boys get their vogue on. 10pm; free.

QUEEN: TWO-YEAR ANNIVER-

WEEK out of the shelter. Since the founders’ deaths, the Institute has been renamed the Hetrick-Martin Institute in their honor, and today it’s the oldest and largest LGBT youth services organization in the country. Originally the Emery Awards were scheduled for the night Hurricane Sandy hit the city, but tonight, HMI’s re-scheduled annual awards, which are bestowed upon people and organizations that exemplify its mission and who demonstrate outstanding leadership in the LGBT community, will honor Time Warner Inc, popular anti-bullying documentary Bully and 8 scribe Dustin Lance Black. 8pm; $600.

fred Douglas and others. 8:45pm; $10 (plus two drink minimum). THE QUEENS OF QUEENS Laughing Devil Comedy Club, 4738 Vernon Blvd (btwn 47th Rd/48th Ave), Long Island City, laughingdevil.com. Haven’t gotten out of Manhattan recently enough? Jump on the 7 train and head to Long Island City, where you can celebrate Christmukkah and get your belly laugh on as Adam Sank hosts out comedians Edison Apple, Leah Bonnema, Joanne Filan and headliner Exiene Lofgren at the Laughing Devil Comedy Club. 8pm; $15 (plus two drink minimum).

THURSDAY DECEMBER 13

BACKROOM AT THE VIDEO STORE SPOTLIGHT

WEEK

WILLIAMSBURG‘S VIDEOLOGY ADDS A SCREENING ROOM—AND THE NEW MONTHLY SERIES QUEER WINDOW.

ALL PHOTOS:WENDY CHAMBERLAIN

The screening room at Videology; (inset) the bar .

itehawk, Spectacle, Indiescreen. What’s missing from that list of Williamsburg screening rooms? Videology. What was once just a DVD rental store has recently completed renovations that added an informal theater. “We were a video store for nine years and we just— like two and a half weeks ago—changed into a bar, screening room and DVD rental store,” explains Wendy Chamberlain, Videology’s owner. Not immune to the same factors that lead to the bankruptcy filings of video giant Blockbuster in 2010 (not to mention the shuttering of countless smaller momand-pop video rental spots), Chamberlain knew she needed to change Videology’s business model in order to keep the doors open. “Basically what prompted it was the fact that…the 21st century caught up with us as far as Netflix and Hulu and all

N

36 DECEMBER 7, 2012

the places people can go to get their movies,” she explains. “So we came up with this idea of adding a bar—which hopefully is going to bring in the money—and screening room, which we’re very excited about. We definitely wanted to keep the DVD rentals and we hope this is a way we can keep the DVD rental option open in the neighborhood.” Tonight, the Bedford Avenue bar/DVD store/screening-room presents the second edition in its new monthly series of queer films, Queer Window, curated by filmmaker Zach Clark. “We wanted to do some stuff that people aren’t really doing,” says Michael Austin of Secret Formula Productions, the same production company that did the Spice Girls sing-along event at the Bell House last August. Austin is working with Videology to produce a range of

upcoming events, including the new queer film series. “A lot of people do it sporadically, but we wanted to do it monthly,” he explains. “One of the things we felt was underrepresented in a lot of these places was the queer cinema. We’re trying to show movies for everybody.” In November, Videology kicked off the series with a Rock Hudson-themed double feature. First they screened the 1959 classic Pillow Talk, followed by the more obviously gay Rock Hudson’s Home Movies. “It was a super-cut of various actual home movies and personal life things that were sort of coded that you didn’t realize at the time, but knowing what we know about Rock Hudson now, you see that he was a homosexual,” Austin notes. This month the focus will be on holiday-themed gay offerings, natch. “So,

like, Liberace and Absolutely Fabulous and Golden Girls and things like that.” Even when screenings aren’t explicitly gay, Videology seems to foster queer community. On November 28 they screened gayfave Grey Gardens, and co-director Albert Maysles dropped by for a talk-back. For neighborhood guys who don’t want one of the only remaining video stores in New York to change, don’t worry—you can still get a wide variety of DVDs to rent. “We are still renting and we are still committed to renting,” Chamberlain reassures. “People don’t realize it really was a necessity for us. If we wanted to stick around this was something we had to do. I’m really happy we were able to keep the rentals and hopefully start building our collection, because we haven’t had the opportunity to do that in about three years.” —AE

Queer Window at Videology, 308 Bedford Ave (@ S First St), Williamsburg, Dec 13 at 9:30pm; free. Visit videology.info for more info.

DECEMBER 7, 2012 37

FRIDAY

DECEMBER 14

EAGLE HOLIDAY PARTY The Eagle, 554 W 28th St (@ 11th Ave), eaglenyc.com. The Eagle throws their 12th-annual holiday party—which doubles as a food drive benefiting City Harvest. The evening features an open bar and dinner, and the cost of entry is non-perishable canned goods. 8pm–10pm; free (plus canned food donation). UNDERWEAR PARTY Pieces, 8 Christopher St (btwn Gay St/Sixth Ave), piecesbar.com. The free clothes check starts at midnight and guys in their undies get $1 drinks from 1am–3am at Pieces monthly nearly-nude fest. If you’re feeling shy, you can still get drinks for just $5 even if you’re not nearly nude. 10pm; free.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: THE HANUKKAH EVENT The Highline Loft, 508 W 26th St (btwn 10th/11th Aves), fnlights.com. The kickoff event for this “new series of sophisticated Shabbat dinners for the modern gay Jewish man” has an open bar happy hour, appetizers, a multi-course seated dinner with wine pairings, and full dessert buffet—and as if that weren’t enough to get you ready to feast, a portion of the proceeds will benefit the Ali Forney Center. 7pm; $100 general admission/$150–$200 VIP. GUERRILLA GAY BAR NY RSVP for secret location, themenevent.com. Once a month TheMenEvent gathers up homos and takes them

SATURDAY DECEMBER 15 WRECKED The National Underground, 159 E Houston St (btwn Allen/Eldridge Sts), facebook.com/wreckednyc. Resident DJs Ryan Smith and Ron Like Hell are at it again on Houston Street with the December edition of their monthly rager. Doors close promptly at 4am. Midnight; $10.

PAPA Pachita, 618 W 46th St (btwn 11th/12th Aves), papaworldtour.com. In October, Jared Needle and Eliad Cohen (right) brought their popular Madrid/Tel Aviv-based party, Papa, to New York for the first time, and tonight they’re back in the Big Apple. Head upstairs at the way West Side mega-club to dance to beats by Hector Romero, Honey Dijon and Sin Morera till after the sun comes up. 11pm–8am; $25 in advance/general admission varies. A MURRAY LITTLE CHRISTMAS Le Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker St (btwn Thompson/Sullivan Sts), mistershowbiz.com. At Murray Hill’s annual holiday show, expect an evening of wacky skits, cheesy holiday songs, nuts and fruits and Murray crooning to “Have Yourself a Murray Little Christmas.” Special guests Bridget Everett, Erin Markey, the Craig’s List Quartet and even Santa and Rudolph help Murray spread the holiday cheer. 8pm; $20 general admission/$25 seated admission/$50 VIP. BOXERS BASH Boxers, 37 W 20th St (btwn Fifth/Sixth Aves), boxersnyc.com. Catch up on the scores, watch the game, play some pool or just enjoy $4 domestic beers and $5 well drinks at Boxer’s weekly Saturday chill sesh. 1pm– 9pm; free. BEEFCAKE: JINGLE BALLS! Rockbar, 185 Christopher St (@ Weehawken St), rockbarnyc.com. Chasers, cubs and bears head toward the Hudson for Chris Reed’s beefy, buff, bearish party. DJ Kurt Jo spins as guys compete for top honors in the sexy Santa Contest. 9pm; $5.

38 DECEMBER 7, 2012

WEEK to an unsuspecting straight bar to gay things up for the night. At this month’s party, wear either a tacky holiday sweater or Santa hat (or both) to indicate which team you play for. Location emailed to participants on December 13. 6pm–9pm; free. DIARIES: AN ANTHOLOGY OF PHOTOGRAPHY FROM ITALY Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art, 26 Wooster St (btwn Grand/Canal Sts), leslielohman.org. Let’s face it: European men are just plain sexy. So naturally when Peter Weiermair brings an exhibition of photography to Leslie Lohman, things might just get a little steamy! Tonight, the exhibition begins with an opening reception. Through February 3. 6pm–8pm; free.

DECEMBER 7, 2012 39

SATURDAY DECEMBER 15

WEEK

SANTARCHY IN THE U.S.A SHOUTOUT

GAY SANTACON GOERS ILLUMINATE THE INCLUSIVE NATURE OF THIS YEAR’S FESTIVITIES.

ure, SantaCon may conjure images of bro-ish frat boys and their slutty sorority sister counterparts trolling the streets of Murray Hill, drunkenly bedecked in red and white. But the annual tradition actually has roots in a 1970s Danish activist theater group (not to mention an anarchic ’90s San Francisco urban exploration society called Suicide Club). In recent years Santas have taken over Manhattan’s East Side in record numbers to raise money for charity—and this year ’mos are even getting involved. We asked several jolly gay Old Saint Nicks how they plan on partaking in this year’s holiday mayhem. —AE

S

“Really looking forward to gay SantaCon this year. Every year I’ve thought how much more fun it would be if it were held in bars I actually enjoy. Plus it combines all my favorites: holidays, friends and booze!” —Daniel Mahon

“I’m excited to do [SantaCon] this year not only because of its popularity but also because with Gay SantaCon I’ll be celebrating with a bunch of my friends. We will probably take part in the core SantaCon festivities for a portion of the time and at some point break off to continue the celebration at some of our favorite local spots. At an event like this you don’t have to worry whether everyone’s having a good time—people are there because they want to be. I won’t be going as Santa, though. I’ll be an elf.” —Shawn Frost

“The idea came from seeing hundreds of Santas during SantaCon in NYC the past few years and thinking to myself, ‘The gays can do it better!’ So, I’m setting up NYC’s first official gay SantaCon. The event is open to all of the LGBT community and its allies. The idea is to meet with the larger SantaCon group…and have a particular spot to meet up for gay SantaCon. From there, basically start a bar crawl at gay bars [in Hell’s Kitchen] and hopefully a photo op at the end.” —Art Aguilar, Gay SantaCon organizer

“SantaCon is always a treat to behold…This will be my first SantaCon…Can’t wait for fabulous costumes, outrageous people and some good ole citywide debauchery.” —Nadya Salcedo

SantaCon takes place Saturday, December 15 starting at 11am. Visit nycsantacon.com for more info.

SUNDAY DECEMBER 16 THE UNDERGROUND Lot 19, 5 E 19th St (btwn Broadway/Fifth Ave), twitchproductions.com. After a super successful night reuniting Junior Vasquez and Kevin Aviance, Michael Theriault and company keep their popular Sunday tea—where the DJs can play anything but pop— going strong. They’ll have an open bar from 7pm– 8pm, too! 6pm; $15.

VANDAM Greenhouse, 150 Vandam St (@ Varick St), susannebartsch.com. Whether it’s wind, rain, flooding or just club-destroying fisticuffs between two rappers over a pop princess, there’s no stopping Susanne Bartsch and company’s longrunning Sunday jam. Resident DJ Johnny Dynell spins and Amanda Lepore, Jordan Fox, Geronimo

40 DECEMBER 7, 2012

and Leo Gugu host while Markus guards the door of the scandal-prone club. 10pm; free.

GRIFFIN SUNDAYS The Griffin, 50 Gansevoort St (btwn Greenwich/Washington Sts), rafertymazurevents.com. In the Meatpacking District as Brian Rafferty and Shawn Paul Mazur continue their cold-months Sunday rager at the plushly upholstered club. 7pm–1am; free. SUNDAY BEER BLAST Gym Sportsbar, 167 Eighth Ave (btwn 18th/19th Sts), gymsportsbar.com. Football is back, boys! Catch all the games during Gym’s Sunday beer blast where drafts are $3 and Hound Dog Sweet Tea Vodka drinks are just $5 till 9pm. 1pm–9pm; free.

AN AMERICAN HOLIDAY The Town Hall, 123 W 43rd St (btwn Sixth Ave/Broadway), nycgmc.org. The New York City Gay Men’s Chorus welcome guest star Judy Collins to the stage for their “joyous celebration of tradition holiday music” at the storied midtown theater. They’ll do two performances of this one-night-only concert. 3pm and 6pm; $66–$89.95. RANDY RAINBOW’S BROADWAY BITCH BINGO Therapy, 348 W 52nd St (btwn Eighth/Ninth Aves), therapy-nyc.com. YouTube clip meister Randy Rainbow hosts his newish weekly show where special weekly guests drop by to help him pull the bingo balls and give away free booze and cash prizes to the winners. 8pm–10pm; free.

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DECEMBER 7, 2012 41

CocoRosie

Dangerous Muse’s Mike Furey

Sound Check By John Russell

Danger Boy et’s get one thing straight: Mike Furey obviously didn’t intend to name Dangerous Muse’s new EP after Taylor Swift’s latest album. “I was wondering if you were gonna ask me that question,” he says.“I mean, it’s pretty funny, right? The only thing I can chalk it up to is the creative consciousness, you know? The collective consciousness.” “Red” is apparently loose in the ether. Red is the first of three EPs Furey plans to release in the coming months that, as a whole, will constitute his band’s first fulllength album. “The plan is to release each EP independently,” says Furey. “And then we would release all three together, with possibly some bonus tracks, as a full-length.” In a way this has been Dangerous Muse’s strategy all along. Their debut single, “The Rejection,” struck a major chord, igniting the band’s momentum and attracting a devoted fan base. Furey and co-founder Tom Napack’s blend of moody electro- and dance-pop predated Gaga and the EDM boom, captivated U.S. fans two years before Robyn really broke in the States, and made room for an element of gloomy melodrama in electro pop long before the current Dark Wave renaissance. But while fans and music bloggers clamored for a full-length album, Furey and Napack chose to release a steady stream of digital EPs and singles. “I think it speaks to the idea of, you know, the digital revolution in music and how people were really downloading things online more than ever at that time,” Furey says of his band’s early success. Napack left the band earlier this year, but Furey has continued to work with various producers to hone the songs that make up Dangerous Muse’s first album. “The way that I look at it is, it’s not a solo project. It’s now become a much larger project than it was before. Some people have said, ‘Oh, you’re going solo now.’ No, I’m not. I’ve found more freedom in the types of collaborations that I’ve already begun to do.” On Red, Furey enlisted heavyweight producers Bloodshy & Avant, Blazing Lazer and David Siskovic. Ted Ottaviano, who produced many of the band’s early songs, including “The Rejection,” worked on tracks on the

MUSIC

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42 DECEMBER 7, 2012

upcoming EPs, as did Canadian singer-songwriter Esthero. “I feel like it’s multidirectional, it’s multidimensional,” Furey says of the as-yet-untitled album. “If I were to quickly gloss [over] each of the EPs, I would say that the first is more dance, the second is more rock-leaning, and the third is more sort of ballads. They’re different attitudes, musical flavorings. And different stories.” For the most part, the five songs on Red stick to familiar Dangerous Muse territory: Furey’s sultry voice over slick electro and big beats. He’s hesitant, however, to pinpoint what story he’s telling on Red. “I don’t want to be too literal about it,” he says,“but I think there are certain inherent emotions that are associated with the idea of red.” Passion, heat, sensuality, movement, speed. It’s all there. But heat also burns, and as Furey sings on one track, “Fame Kills.” The EP also shows how Dangerous Muse has progressed in the past seven years. Furey stretches his voice into a higher register on “I Can’t Help It,” while “Mr. Strangelove” is a significant departure: a moody, down-tempo track and the closest thing we’ve heard yet to a ballad from Dangerous Muse. “Even in this first EP, you see a glimmer of what Dangerous Muse may be like in the future,” says Furey. “The catalog of songs now is intense and immense. This is just the beginning of what’s to come.” N

ON STAGE THIS MONTH: riday, December 7: Tonight, Toronto-based electro act Trust joins The Faint at Terminal 5. On the 8th, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs play a special Hurricane Sandy benefit at Williamsburg’s Union Pool, while at the Beacon Theater, Sarah McLachlan, Adam Lambert, Sleigh Bells, Hunter Valentine and others join Cyndi Lauper for her second annual Home for the Holidays benefit concert. Smashing Pumpkins play the Barclays Center on Dec 10, rescheduled from Oct 31. On Dec 11, Solange Knowles takes the stage at Bowery Ballroom, while Of Montreal plays Webster Hall. Tegan & Sara open for The Killers at Madison Square Garden on the 14th, and on the 16th Heloise & The Savoir Faire play Glasslands in Williamsburg. Queer folk trio Kings are at Pete’s Candy Store on Dec 21, while Jane’s Addiction plays Terminal 5 on the 29th. Coldplay wraps up 2012 with two shows at Barclays Center, Dec 30 and 31, with Jay-Z joining the band for the New Year’s Eve show.

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Rihanna

The Right Track Should Rihanna Apologize for Her New Album?

10. “Nobody’s Business (featuring Chris Brown)” Duet with that guy who beat her to a pulp, to the beat of a happy retro-’90s house track. Apology Needed

By Keo Nozari ihanna insists she’s Unapologetic on her new album. But we think she should apologize for some of the messes on her seventh album. We rate each track with an “Apology Needed” where it’s warranted or a “No Apology Needed” for the good stuff. One thing’s for sure, we’re not apologizing for it! N NEXTMAGAZINE.COM

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1. “Phresh Out the Runway” Hot track but a non-song with RiRi raptalk singing. Better if performed by Kanye or seasoned rap-talk singer Ke$ha. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

2. “Diamonds” Fortunately some solid, sparkling songwriting by Sia. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

MUSIC

3. “Numb (featuring Eminem)” Non-song again, RiRi rap-talk singing. When we’re actually happy to hear Eminem appear, it’s trouble. Boring repeated “I’m going numb” has us numb. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

4. “Pour It Up” More rap-talking, but at least she’s singing a “whoa-oh-oh.” The sassy talk about what a paid beyotch she is with the refrain “I still got my money” is priceless. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

5. “Loveeeeeee Song (featuring Future)” Something like that airplane ride, Rihanna shows up here when she wants to and not all that often, the track being carried mostly by rapper Future. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

11. “Love without Tragedy/Mother Mary” Another ballad-y track starts decently but then turns into different religious-y musing about being prepared to die. Not a “Hail Mary” moment… Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

6. “Jump” This dubstep sample of Ginuwine 1996 classic “Pony” is worth jumping onto and will undoubtedly get crowds back on the small horse. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

12. “Get It Over With” At this point the song title is reflecting our feeling about this album. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

13. “No Love Allowed” 7. “Right Now (featuring David Guetta)” Bona fide dance track. Unsurprisingly, it’s classic if generic Guetta, and fans of RiRi’s dance numbers like “Where Have You Been” will undoubtedly be happy. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

8. “What Now” Starts in classic ballad mode and gets big and exciting in the chorus. She sounds great, emotional and expressive.

Fun island track in the spirit of modernday Bob Marley. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

14. “Lost in Paradise” Better titled “Far from Paradise.” Halfbaked dubstep. Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

15. “Half of Me”

A simply produced plodding piano ballad. Nice range for Rihanna but again, she’s guest starring; Ekko carries the song.

The best for last! An Emeli Sandé-written genuine, heartfelt ballad that best sums up the statement Rihanna is trying to make. She sings, “You saw me on the television, hanging out my dirty linen/ You’re entitled to your own opinion. Sit and shake your head my decisions/ But that’s just the half of it.”

Apology Needed

Apology Needed

Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

9. “Stay (featuring Mikky Ekko)”

No Apology Needed

No Apology Needed

DECEMBER 7, 2012 43

Curtain Up Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike Scandalous The piano Lesson

THEATER

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44 DECEMBER 7, 2012

Vanya… plays through January 13 at the Mitzi Newhouse (150 W 65th St, lct.org). Scandalous plays at the Neil Simon (250 W 52nd St, ScandalousOnBroadway.com). The Piano Lesson plays through January 13 at Signature (480 W 42nd St, SignatureTheatre.org).

Cabaret Confidential MICHAEL FEINSTEIN PHOTO:GILLES TOUCAS

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By David Hurst hat wacky Christopher Durang is at it again, this time spinning the characters and themes of Anton Chekhov into his biting new comedy, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. Set in a rustic farmhouse in Bucks County, Penn., we meet brother and sister, Vanya and Sonia, played to perfection by David Hyde Pierce and Kristine Nielsen. They’ve fallen into an existence of ennui filled with mutual contempt for each other and their successful actress sister, Masha, Sigourney Weaver, who suddenly shows up unannounced with her new boy-toy, Spike, brilliantly embodied by hunkalicious Billy Magnussen. Hilarity ensues as Masha desperately tries to hang on to Spike when the youthful (and aspiring actress) Nina, the lovely Genevieve Angelson, shows up as the proverbial fly in the ointment. Throughout, Vanya and Sonia’s cleaning lady, Cassandra, well played by Shalita Grant, sees visions, makes predictions and warns everyone of impending doom. The mechanics of Durang’s writing show wear as the play progresses, but these are delightfully funny characters you’ll be glad to spend time with if you’re lucky. As for Kathie Lee Gifford’s Scandalous: The Life and Trials of Aimee Semple McPherson, the less said the better. It’s not a train wreck, but that’s not exactly a ringing endorsement. By now you’ve probably heard that leading lady Carolee Carmello carries the whole show with her presence and powerhouse voice—and she does. But, while much of the music by David Pomeranz and David Friedman is tuneful and uplifting, Gifford’s cringe-making lyrics and clunky book are the show’s undoing. That’s a shame because a show about Aimee Semple McPherson is actually a terrific idea for a musical. Sadly, the tedious Scandalous is not that musical. Sell your furniture in the streets if you must, but get a ticket to the sensational revival of August Wilson’s The Piano Lesson currently on view at Signature. From top to bottom, beginning

to end, this perfectly cast and executed production sings with passion and throbs with resonance thanks to Wilson’s gorgeous writing and director Ruben Santiago-Hudson’s delicate hand. Each cast member is a standout but special notice must go to the stirring Brandon J. Dirden as Boy Willie, the electrifying Roslyn Ruff as Willie’s sister Berniece, and the superb Chuck Cooper as their uncle, Wining Boy. Make no mistake, this is a landmark production of an American masterpiece—miss it at your own peril! N

he end of an era occurs this month when Feinstein’s at Loews Regency (540 Park Ave, FeinsteinsAtLoewsRegency.com) closes its doors. Headlining the room will be its namesake, Michael Feinstein, in A Gershwin Holiday Nov 27–Dec 22. Feinstein will be celebrating his best-selling new book and companion CD, The Gershwins and Me: A Personal History in 12 Songs. The divine Christine Ebersole will be joining Michael to ring out the year with shows Dec 23–Dec 31, inMichael Feinstein cluding a solo show by Ebersole on Dec 31 at 7:00 pm. And don’t miss a special concert to benefit The Actors Fund at Feinstein’s on Dec 9, My Gift of Thanks: New Songs for the Holidays featuring the songs of William Schermerhorn, the music of Milton Delugg, Feinstein himself and Matthew Sklar, among others, and a starry lineup including Ann Hampton Callaway, Alix Korey, Norm Lewis and Julia Murney. The divinely trashy Lady Bunny and Bianca del Rio are up to their yuletide tricks in Hot X’Mess: A Hot Mess Holiday Spectacular!, Friday nights at XL Nightclub (512 W 42nd St, XLNightclub.com). And the outrageous Tym Moss is spreading holiday cheer at The Players’Theatre Loft (115 MacDougal St, LopsidedChristmas.com) with Girl, A Lopsided Tree Won’t Ruin Christmas, Thursdays–Sundays, through Dec 29. Written and directed by Joe Marshall, Lopsided has a different musical guest in every show so go, enjoy—and be afraid! N

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THE PIANO LESSON PHOTO: JOAN MARCUS; VANYA AND SONIA AND MASHA AND SPIKE PHOTO: T. CHARLES ERICKSON

Billy Magnussen and Kristine Nielsen in Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Eric Lenox Abrams and Roslyn Ruff in The Piano Lesson

Eats

Fatta Cuckoo 63 Clinton St (btwn Rivington/Stanton Sts)

212-353-0570 FattaCuckoo.com

DINING

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By Peter Sherwood pon entering tiny seater Fatta Cuckoo, we felt as if we had jumped into the Magic Screen from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. As the mere name might imply, the space itself is quirky, whimsical and fun, assembled by proprietress Leah Tinari with her own broadly imagined paintings hanging on the whitewashed-brick walls. The food is a delight, as handled by chef Matias Hernandez. It’s stuff that everybody likes but doesn’t descend to ordinary comfort food. Tinari glows with passion about her food and art, and it emanates from her as she dotes upon the engaging premises. An amusing, explanatory anecdote: when Tinari was a child, her Italian nonna used to tap her belly with a gentle forefinger after eating an exhausting meal and coo, “Fatta cuckoo!” Over a groovy soundtrack featuring old-school hits,

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46 DECEMBER 7, 2012

the cocktail list further inspired our imaginations, particularly the special T-Party cocktail with Espolòn tequila, spiced honey, Lillet and bitters. What could have been a blithely loathsome brunch drink, the St. Rose was actually a very solidly balanced cocktail with vodka, St-Germain liqueur, Aperol, orange bitters and a float of prosecco. We also took more than a few sips of a blood-orange screwdriver with vodka, muddled basil, a breath of lime and a splash of soda water. We ordered a creamfilled ball of burrata cheese, plucked from Saxelby’s in the nearby Essex Street Market. This beauty was domestically crafted in Philadelphia and the day’s preparation included mint and pistachio pesto with a chiffonade of basil and a touch of olive oil, served with cranberry-walnut crostini. We were curious about the calamari—stuffed with braised short ribs!—but

moved on to a plate of ravioli filled with whipped ricotta, shiitake and cremini mushrooms in a mushroom cream sauce tied up with thyme and offered like little presents with wonton skins as wrapping paper. It took about three seconds of scouring the menu to realize we had to have the fried chicken, which turned out to be incredibly juicy— brined and battered and served with a ladleful of sharp Gorgonzola, celery root purée, house-made hot sauce and a prickly side of carrots and celery, all in homage to classic roadside chicken wings. We paired this up with red Swiss chard sautéed on an amiable plate of frizzled bacon and golden raisins. Seriously crispy pork was furthered by a fanciful blueberry barbecue sauce, an earnest cornbread cake and slivers of slaw. We plundered the mushy potato puffs, or elevated Tater Tots, if you will.

Keeping it in the family, Tinari’s mother lends a hand with Mom’s Desserts, which she actually makes. We’re talking brightly zesty yet delicate Key Lime pie; cream cheese cheesecake with a graham cracker crust that had us at OMG; and a Grasshopper Mousse that screamed for a ’70s dinner party with crème de menthe, a fluff of the fresh-

SHORT ORDER: Comforting food for everyone served with a refined side of whimsy in a relaxed, charming atmosphere.

PETER’S PICKS: T-Party tequila cocktail; vegetable ravioli; fried chicken; Mom’s Desserts

PETER’S PANS: Venturing to the Lower East Side and then trying to find where on earth the restaurant was!

PHOTO: GUSTAVO MONROY

est whipped cream and a dusting of chocolate sandwich cookie powder. We rolled over all of them, enjoying every bite that we could manage, as we’d been pointing at our bellies for quite some time. Even after the sugar rush subsided, what could we say? We’re cuckoo for… N

PRICES: Appetizers: $10-$15; Entrées: $16-$21; Alcohol: wine, full bar, specialty cocktails.

Hungry for customers?

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CHELSEA GRILL Of Hell’s Kitchen

Happy Hour M-F 4-6 pm

Brunch 7 Days a Week!

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DECEMBER 7, 2012 47

What’s Cookin’ ALL THE FOODIE NEWS YOU CAN SWALLOW. By Peter Sherwood

pIqUANT

hef Julieta Ballesteros and restaurateur Shaun Smith recently debuted an extended dinner menu at China Latina (Hotel Indigo, 127 W 28th St, ChinaLatinaNYC.com). Fascinating fusion where Latin America hooks up with Asia involves plates such as crackling Peking duck wonton tacos, chorizo dumplings, lychee margaritas and honeyed Korean sake-tinis. All this and that heated rooftop bar, open all year.

DINING

Aprés ski, anyone? The Morgans Hotel Group transformed Hudson’s outdoor Private Park into the wondrous Hudson Lodge (356 W 58th St, 212-554-6217, HudsonLodgeNYC.com) for the holiday season. This heated “urban ski resort” inspired by Quebec’s Lauretian mountains will feature a nightly fall of faux snow amid bar bites such as green chili fondue and chilly—or Aztec hot chocolate—cocktails.

CHINA LATINA

Brooklyn’s Piquant (259 Flatbush Ave, Prospect Heights, 718-484-4114, PiquantNYC.com) welcomes French-born executive chef Patrick Allouache, who more recently hails from Brasserie Pigalle and L’Orto in Manhattan. His Latin-influenced menu is fraught with French and Spanish innovations found in dishes like duck confit enchiladas and Chilean sea bass. Justin Araujo is now the master of the house at Casa Nonna (310 W 38th St, 212-736-3000, CasaNonna.com), which has recently revealed their new list of Negroni-inspired cocktails. The Raultini shares a dose of Aperol with Tanqueray and Carpano Antica sweet vermouth, while a Berlioni sends up Hendricks gin, artichoke liqueur and dry vermouth for a big night of Italian revelry. N

48 DECEMBER 7, 2012

HUDSON LODGE

CHINA LATINA PHOTO: ADAM MORGANSTERN

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DECEMBER 7, 2012 49

DOUBLE TAKE REHYDRATE NOW

NO MAN LEFT BEHIND

THE SPLAT EFFECT SHOOTING BLANKS

BETTER OFF BLUE-BALLED

NASTY BOYS Troy Haydon in Boyfriends

By Manuel Hung & Rod Steely

Boyfriends: The Good, the Bad, and the Nasty Naked Sword Originals, NakedSword.com oommate, longtime companion, “friend,” POSSSLQ, partner, significant other, lover, boo—forget the euphemisms. He’s your boyfriend!

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ROD: In a porn movie about boyfriends, real-life BFs Blue Bailey and Blake Daniels don’t need to act. It’s cool to see these two talk so lovingly about each other—then get so naked and fuck like crazy! MANUEL: This couple’s comfort level makes for sexual intimacy that nonboyfriend porn actors can’t always fake, like their lack of squeamishness in tasting each other’s holes and loads. ROD: Tony Hunter and tattooed Christian Wilde’s scene is more like an episode of Dr. Phil than a porn scene. Is Wilde going to hit Hunter or fuck him? Their aggressive makeup sex is more like revenge sex, with Wilde

t takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make it outta sight.

I

smoothest, prettiest, most edible hole you’ve ever seen. Now picture four of them. The four bottoms in Couples have the most breathtaking “balloon knots” I’ve ever seen, with Micah Brandt and Trey Turner leading the pack. ROD: I love mixed couples, and it’s played to great effect with beautifully bronze Brandt and creamy-white Dylan Roberts. I’m usually obsessed with Roberts’ nipples, but this time I loved how his cock slipped into Brandt’s perfect cocoa bottom. MANUEL: This twosome’s great chemistry made for some high-energy coupling (and an enormous cumshot from Brandt!). Like every pair in Couples, these guys

50 DECEMBER 7, 2012

ROD:

MANUEL:

PRETTY BOYS Topher DiMaggio in Couples

Couples Falcon, 1-800-227-3717, FalconStudios.com

MANUEL: Picture the cleanest,

ADULT

spanking and fucking Hunter with every kitchen utensil he can grab. MANUEL: My favorite “boyfriend” was bad-boy Brit Troy Haydon, with his striking looks, Yorkshire accent and high fuckability quotient. ROD: I loved Haydon’s tattoos. And who could resist that accent, especially when he asks, “Ya wanna taste my arse?” MANUEL: Cole Streets and Dylan Hyde provide great extended hole play, first with several fingers, then with the thick black butt plug they keep in the bedside bowl. Dylan inserts the entire anal probe, then taps on it as if sending Morse code signals to Chilean miners trapped deep inside. Boyfriends’ biggest liability was the Cloverfield-style camerawork, but luckily the creative scenarios and a variety of hot sex helped balance that out.

come while fucking—always a porn plus. The romantic connection between sexy Trey Turner and Ken-doll Landon Conrad made for morning sex that turned me into an early riser. ROD: There is so much ass eating in this movie, it’s easy to give it four splats—one for each scene. And if you like your couples with an Italian flavor, then smooth muscle studs Angelo Marconi and Topher DiMaggio are deliziosi! MANUEL: I loved watching DiMaggio’s tongue join the action as Marconi doubledigit finger-fucked his own hole. DiMaggio has one of those faces I can’t stop looking at, so I wish Falcon had given it more camera time. But there’s no shortage of lookers here. When Bryce Star and Boston Miles are the average ones in the cast, you know you’re in good company.

ROD:

MANUEL:

west side club 24 HOURS PRIVATE MEMBERSHIP 27 West 20th Street 2nd floor • Chelsea 212.691.2700 www.westsideclubnyc.com DECEMBER 7, 2012 51

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JUSTIN MEN’S SPA

Asian Strong Bodywork. 7 Days. Relaxing Environment

$49/1 hour Private room. Quiet space.

Hot sexy Masseur. Sensual, Erotic, Nude, All forms massage. In/Out 24/7 Grooming, waxing, shave.

646-413-5224 52 DECEMBER 7, 2012

Relaxing Environment! Great Massage!

211 E 43rd St. Room 310 (Btw 2nd & 3rd Ave.)

10am-10pm • 212-661-1889

216 West 22nd St.

61 W 8th St 2nd Fl. Close to 6th ave.

216B W 30th St. Main Floor (Btw 7th & 8th Ave.)

11am-11:30pm • 212-933-0085 www.wmanspa.com

347-978-6565

ADULT CLASSIFIEDS TRAINED BRAZILIAN MASSEUR ron in new york 5’9” 165 lbs In & Out Calls

CERTIFIED BODYWORK

BODYWORK STATION

BODYWORK

ESCORT

Excellent massage by handsome guy

917-435-4418 917-374-4581 LONG TAI BODYWORK 53 W 29th St, 2F (Corner of 6 Ave.) Close to Macy’s Empire State Building, Penn Station

RX I got the perfection to fill your needs. 5’7” 165lbs of hard muscle. Hung 10”

631-235-9888 702-917-3829 ASIAN BODYWORK 4 hands available. In/Out Calls. East 51st Btw 2nd & 3rd Ave

347-325-2238 SENSUAL BODYWORK Young,Handsome,Smooth Athletic, Asian, In/Out. William: 212-787-9116.

SENSUAL MASSAGE Young Cute Athletic Asian Hot Sexy. Partner Available Jeff: 917-386-5585

NORDIC GOD NUDE! 6’8” Muscular 240# Very Handsome. Great Hands! 24/7 n/Out w/table. 917-721-5721 DECEMBER 7, 2012 53

CERTIFIED BODYWORK

BODYWORK STATION

BODYWORK

ESCORT

ADULT CLASSIFIEDS CARLOS BLACK MALE MODEL MASCULINE ATTRACTIVE Very Masculine Versatile 38 yo 6’ tall 195 Lbs In/Out 24/7 Midtown Location

Attractive Masc Top Out Calls 6’3” 190# 10”x6” Couples Welcome 24/7. David. No Blocked Private #s

212-307-0076 347-885-1320 MAX HOT MASCULINE MAN

GEORGE

5’11” 185# 31ws 10”x6” cut thick. Top/Vers. $250 and up

347-627-4059 DAMION

DEAN ITALIAN EX MILITARY STUD

32 y.o. 170# 5’9” Vers. 7.5”x6” Very Friendly In/Out In Midtown

www.rentboy.com/dean34

917-293-5531

ASH-AGGRESSIVE VERBAL TOP Mediterranean 5’11” 170# 9” cut All Scenes. VGL Masc & dominant. In/Out. Chelsea Loc.

20yo Puerto Rican & Black Massage Therapist. Need me, call me!

TOP 42 yo, 6’1”, 200 lbs 9”x6” Uncut. W40’s Loc. 24/7. In $300/Out $400 Accept Credit Card

TOP & love to get serviced by other men. 42yo, 6’1”, 195lbs, 24/7 In $200/Out $300. Times Square Loc

212-354-4943 917-995-7917

Hold on to your towels, men ! Temporary memberships available to out-of-town men with proper I.D.

227 E. 56 St. New York 212•PL3•2222

east side club www.eastsideclubnyc.com

54 DECEMBER 7, 2012

914-562-2844

MEN’s CLUB 24 hrs/7Days

Private Video Booths

Entrance $15 Private PrivateVideo Booths Video DVD Booths • VIDEO

NOVELTIES

797 8th Ave Bet. 48th-49th Street

212-582-2262

Entrance $15

MEN’s CLUB 24 hrs/7Days

DVD • VIDEO • NOVELTIES

592 8th Ave Bet. 38th-39th Street

212-354-0168

ADULT CLASSIFIEDS

CERTIFIED BODYWORK

BODYWORK STATION

BODYWORK

ESCORT

DECEMBER 7, 2012 55

SHOT

HOLIDAYTOYDRIVE@INDUSTRY 1. Busted & Sherry Vine 2. Gavin & Jovanni 3. Joshua McKinley & Alex 4. Michael & Knox

1

IN•THE

DARK

2

4

3

TOYSPARTY2012@CHELSEAPIERS 1. Steve & Ozzie 2. Ramon & Rob 3. Paul & Josh 4. Bob, Jayson Littman & Andrew 5. Adam, Anthony & Michael

1 1

4

2

3

5 INDUSTRY & CHELSEA PIERS PHOTOGRAPHY BY GUSTAVO MONROY

56 DECEMBER 7, 2012

GUMBO@GALAPAGOSARTSPACE 1. Chad & Chris 2. Jacob & Ed 3. Blair & Ryan 4. Ray & David 5. Justin Dawson 6. Zach, Ben Harvey & Daniel

1

4

3

2

5

5

6

BRUNCH@YOTEL 1. Aaron & Logan 2. Stiggma & Dako 3. Calen & Sebastian 4. Steven & Doug 5. Michael Magnan & Roxy Cottontail 6. Ian & Errickson

1 1

4

3

2

5

6 GALAPAGOS ART SPACE & YOTEL PHOTOGRAPHY BY GUSTAVO MONROY

DECEMBER 7, 2012 57

SHOT

1. Frank Carrasquillo & Kevin Wiltz 2. Kristian & David 3. Dalton & Andres 4. Vito Fun & Brittany

1

IN•THE

DARK

FUSIONTHURSDAYS@SPLASH

2

3

4

DESILICIOUSSPARKLE@PACHITA 1. Jigar & Vivek 2. Josh & Tony 3. Shazad 4. Ashu Rai & Yaku 5. Amil & Walter 6. Aamir & Atif Toor

1 1

2

4

5

3

6

SPLASH & PACHITA PHOTOGRAPHY BY GUSTAVO MONROY

58 DECEMBER 7, 2012

LOVEHANGOVERBALL@WUNIONSQUARE 1. Edward Enniful, Jack Mizrahi, Simon Doonan, Fergie, Ladyfag, Mickey Boardman & Grandfather Hector Xtravaganza 2. Fergie 3.Kelly Osbourne, Father Andre Mizrahi, Simon Doonan, Fergie, Fatima Robinson & Mickey Boardman

2

1

3

5

NYGFLEIGHTHANNUALBACHELORAUCTION@SPLASH 1. James & Johnny 2. Mike & Chris 3. Derek & Joe 4. Kiyon & Destiny Devine 5. Eric & Will 6. Eddie & Anthony

1 1

3

5

W UNION SQUARE PHOTOGRAPHY BY SANTIAGO FELIPE • SPLASH PHOTOGRAPHY BY GUSTAVO MONROY

4

2

6

DECEMBER 7, 2012 59

SHOT

SKINTIGHTUSA@THERITZ 1. Dennis, Kai & Adam 2. A-Ron & Viki 3. Rudy & Matthew Levine 4. Mike & Chris

1

IN•THE

DARK

2

4

3

COLLEGENIGHT@BOXERS 1. David, Daniel & Jo 2. Brandon & Markus 3. David & Brice 4. Chris & Scotty 5. Matt, Michael, Chris & Chris

2

4

5

60 DECEMBER 7, 2012

3

THE RITZ PHOTOGRAPHY BY GUSTAVO MONROY • BOXERS PHOTOGRAPHY BY SANTIAGO FELIPE

1 1


December 7, 2012