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NEWS BLUES
Michigan authorities identified Jules Bahler, 21, as the suspect in three bank robberies after he posted his picture on TAKE Facebook holding a submachine gun like the one used in the holdups. When questioned, Bahler confessed to the robberies. (The Smoking Gun)
QUICK
Compiled by Roland Sweet
Curses, Foiled Again
Jen Sorensen
Splitsville, Kuwaiti Style
Yafait Tadesse went to prison for stealing the names and Social Security numbers of a dozen people and using the stolen identities to claim tax refunds. The bogus returns instructed the IRS to load the refunds onto debit cards and mail them to the same address in Georgia that led authorities to Tadesse. Among his victims was Attorney General Eric Holder. (Fox News)
Abuse, infidelity and lack of communication aren’t the only reasons Kuwaiti couples cite for seeking a divorce, according to recent filings in that land. A woman complained that she was “disgusted” by her husband of one week because he insisted on eating his peas with bread instead of a fork. Another woman objected that her husband “is so obstinate” because he “stubbornly refuses” to squeeze toothpaste from the end of the tube and “keeps squeezing it in the middle.” And a man decided his marriage was over after he asked his wife to bring him a glass of water, but she refused and told him there was a servant who could do it. (Dubai’s Gulf News)
Power to the Power
Faced with having to pay its customers refunds or rate deductions from its excessive profits, as required by a 2007 law, Virginia’s Dominion Power successfully lobbied state lawmakers to pass a bill allowing the utility to deduct most of its research spending. As a result, instead of having projected excess profits of $280 million in the two-year regulatory period, which would have triggered savings for customers under the old law, the new measure allows it to deduct $400 million spent on nuclear energy research, denying its customers any savings. (The Washington Post)
The Honeymoon Is Over
Soon after American tourist Erin Willinger, 35, met rickshaw driver Bunty Sharma, 32, outside the Taj Mahal in Agra, India, last September, they wed. The marriage quickly soured because of “differences in their relationship,” Police Chief Shalabh Mathur said. Accusing his wife of smoking too much and “talking to other men,” Sharma stabbed her to death, then went home and killed himself by igniting a gas canister and causing his house to explode. (CNN)
WHEN I DIE, I WANT TO GO PEACEFULLY, LIKE MY GRANDFATHER DID: IN HIS SLEEP. NOT YELLING AND SCREAMING LIKE THE PASSENGERS IN HIS CAR.
— Bob Monkhouse
IN OTHER CRAZINESS:
E-Hazards
Fire officials blamed two fires in Medford, Ore., on the lithium batteries that power vaporizers in electronic cigarettes. In the first incident, an overcharged battery caused a mattress to catch fire, but a resident put it out in time. In the second incident, Fire Marshal Greg Kleinberg said an e-cigarette exploded while being charged, sending bits of burning battery flying into the ceiling and walls of a house. One hot piece of battery landed on a pillow, causing it to smolder and filling the house with smoke. (Associated Press)
Foodies
Military researchers working on new ready-to-eat meals for soldiers said they’ve concocted a pizza that doesn’t need freezing or even refrigeration. “You can basically take the pizza, leave it on the counter, packaged, for three years, and it’d still be edible,” said food scientist Michelle Richardson of the U.S. Army Natick Soldier Research, Development and Engineering Center in Massachusetts. Noting that pizza is among the most requested items soldiers say they want added to their rations, Richardson said she spent two years working on the new recipe. (Associated Press).
”People love the new pope, but I think it’s safe to say he’s gone crazy. Now he’s thinking about doing away with celibacy for priests. Are you like me? Are you thinking ‘Real Housewives of the Vatican?’” — David Letterman “It’s not only David Hasselhoff’s birthday, it’s also the birthday of Angela Merkel, the chancellor of Germany. One is Germany’s most powerful leader, but is not afraid to look feminine. And the other one is Angela Merkel.” — Craig Ferguson “It’s a great day for a man in Brazil. He’s 126 and has been called the world’s oldest person. He says the highlight of his life was playing goalie for Brazil in this year’s World Cup.” — Craig Ferguson
ODORIFIC NUPTIALS
A sewage treatment plant in Washington state is offering its facilities for weddings, touting its full catering kitchen, audiovisual equipment, dance floor and ample parking. The cost is $2,000 for eight hours. Susan Tallarico, director of King County’s Brightwater Wastewater Treatment Center, explained that receptions would take place next to where raw sewage is processed but insisted there’s no odor because the process is contained. (Seattle Times)
Syracuse football coach Scott Shafer calls depth charts ‘one of the most overrated things in football’ (Syracuse.com.) Deep. — Scott Shafer and Clemson’s Dabo Swinney clear the air: ‘Me and Dabo get along just fine’ (Syracuse.com) Me and grammar, not so much. — Rescue crews hoist 12-year-old back to safety after plunging off cliff in Lansing (CNYCentral.com) Speaking of grammar, that sentence says the rescue crews plunged off the cliff. — Mexico man charged after refusing to pay cab fare (CNYCentral.com) He was arraigned and taken to the Oswego County Correctional Facility … but presumably not by taxi. — Bacterial infection responsible for killing hundreds of fish in Canandaigua Lake (CNYCentral.com) Fishermen responsible for killing hundreds more.
syracusenewtimes.com | 07.23.14 - 07.29.14
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