Valentine’s Sale
Bangs said. “Every the plaza in gaudy time.” Which is bad, gilded pinks, and you know. A man the pigeons had all offering fortunes tucked in behind should be sometheir spiny rainwhat serious. gutter fortresses for On cue, Zoltar the night. No rain. dropped his favorite No gray. Big planets guilt-tripping lining up with the come-on line: “I half moon. Beauty see you over there. and portent thick in Yes you. Come on the air. over to Zoltar and L’Herault cradled let me tell you your a shiny new black fortune.” ukulele, a cheapy Bangs grinned, but a goodie, and then forced his plucked a few lines. mouth closed into a “Check out this guy,” crooked line. he said, nodding at He’d sold and a young man in a given away about 50 gold ski hat standTRISTAN BANGS, FORTUNE-MAN. PHOTO HEIDI WALTERS fortunes in the past ing in front of the two days, first in jewelry store across Arcata and now here next to Zoltar. One the street. “He’s been there all afternoon. lady, today, had been really grouchy when He’s the buy-local fortune teller.” L’Herault she’d got her fortune — “positive experilaughed. ences are something everyone can relate Tristan Bangs was only barely local, a to” — and she’d come back to rip on him transplant from Portland. He stood ramabout how crappy the world is. She asked rod straight, knees and feet together, inif he really wanted to hear all that, and he side a tiny white circle he’d chalked on the said yeah, sure, lay it on me. sidewalk a few feet from the genie Zoltar “And then she started smiling,” said sitting inside a lighted box. In front of his Bangs. circle he’d chalked in huge letters “Local A woman came out of the jewelery Fortune Speller.” His outstretched arms shop, not smiling, unplugged Zoltar besupported a big old electric typewriter fore he could sound off again, and rolled case, propped open. In rows of pockets him into the shop for the night. on the inside of the lid he’d tucked little A fortune seeker dropped 75 cents into rolled up pieces of cash register paper the typewriter case. Reached for a rolledwith typed messages on them. In the botup fortune. Unfurled it and read the faint tom of the case were his earnings so far: a type: ten-buck coffee cash card, a dollar bill and “sound off to show some change. He glanced at Zoltar. off to get back” “He charges dollars; I just want cents,” Uh? Bangs said. “I even give them away.” Zoltarrrr! Come back out here. Let me Sure, he’d zoomed in on Zoltar’s game. give you my money and you tell me my But Zoltar got back at him. fortune. ● “When he speaks, he makes me laugh,”
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northcoastjournal.com • NORTH COAST JOURNAL • THURSDAY, FEB. 9, 2012
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