Mountain Xpress 10.09.13

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american Exceptionalism: Which is more characteristically American — that a Texas company could invent an ordinary rifle that mimics a machine gun or that America’s incomparable legal minds could find a loophole in existing antimachine-gun laws to permit it to be manufactured and sold? The Slide Fire company’s weapon can spray bullets “like a fire hose” from a legal, semiautomatic gun by simple application of muscle, yet an official opinion of the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives acknowledges that the agency is powerless to regulate it because of the wording in 1934 and 1986 legislation that restricts private ownership of machine guns.

According to his road manager, pioneer 1970s musician Sly Stone has a lot of “real interesting ideas,” including once trying to hire “ninja chicks and clowns” for his security entourage. Stone’s latest brainstorm, reported London’s The Guardian in August: form a musical group of albinos, which Stone says “could neutralize all the racial problems” that plague society. “To me,” he said, “albinos are the most legitimate minority group of all.”

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a nEws of thE wEiRd cLassic (dEcEmBER 2008) One of the world’s best-known strategists on the game of checkers passed away in November (2008). Richard Fortman was Illinois state champion six times and in the 1970s and 1980s published a seven-volume handbook on rules and tactics. Many people now considering the game would be astonished to know that, as in chess, there are masters and grandmasters, international rankings, that experts actually study historical opening moves and endgames, and that some play, move-by-move, via the U.S. Mail. A New York Times obituary noted that Fortman played as many as 100 games simultaneously, and won games blindfolded. Until the end, according to his daughter, Fortman spent “hours each day” playing checkers online. X

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In a YouTube video, reported by the political website RawStory.com in August, well-known tea party activist Jerome Corsi elaborates on the biblical importance of childbearing and implores followers to “hold the line” on the principle that sex “is about the procreation of children.” “Sex is not about fun,” he says. “If you want to have fun, read a book; go to a movie.” Evidently, surgery is kinda Boring: A 36-year-old patient is suing California’s Torrance Memorial Medical Center, claiming that anesthesiologist Patrick Yang decorated her face with stickers while she was unconscious and that an aide took photos for laughs, later allegedly uploading them to Facebook. Dr. Yang and the aide were later disciplined but remained in good standing. Some hospitals (but not Torrance Memorial) prohibit cellphones in operating rooms.

(1) Dallas police officer Antonio Quintanilla was the victim in an August incident, but handled it by the book — even though what the perp had done was urinate off a balcony at 3 a.m., onto Quintanilla’s head. (Because the bladder-reliever did not know that Quintanilla was a cop, he was given a nonarrest citation.) Quintanilla also calmly helped a colleague investigate the crime scene — locating the “wet and humid areas where the urine had fallen,” according to the police report.

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(1) In September, a federal jury in New York City upheld an employment agency worker’s claim that she (an African-American) was racially harassed by her boss. The supervisor, Rob Carmona, had insisted that he could not be liable for race-based harassment because, he, too, is African-American and thus entitled to use the “N-word.”

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Thursday, October 17th, 6 - 8 pm Diamond Brand Outdoors, Arden NC All Proceeds Benefit Girls on the Run • 20% OFF brand name gear, fashion and accessories • Featuring our Fall Fashion Show • Complimentary gift bags for first 200 Divas,

REad daiLy Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.

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