COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD
ADVICE GODDESS By Amy Alkon MOUSE ADO ABOUT NOTHING I've tried to be openminded, but I've decided that men are givers and women are takers. I study at my local coffeehouse. I am interested in this woman who comes in and often unplug my computer and offer to let her use the outlet. Two weeks ago, I decided to make my interest clearer by buying her coffee. She said, "Oh! Thanks!" Then she put her nose back in her books. The next time she came in, I offered her my large table because she had tons of books. She blushed as girls do, asking, "Are you sure?" I said, "Of course!" I then worked at a small, cramped table next to her. She made no effort to talk, except when she asked me to watch her computer while she went to the restroom. Finally, I decided to be really clear and asked if she'd like to grab a bite sometime. She smiled and said she'd just see me here, but thanks. Yeah, she'll see me there and expect me to give her my big table. I'm sick of this take, take, take. A woman needs to tell a man right away if she's not interested and not let him sit there like an idiot, planning to make her life easier. —Irate I guess when you ask a woman whether she'd like to use the power outlet, she should just come right out and say, "I would, but I don't find you very attractive." Why go after what you want when you can dance around it, do it favors, and hope it figures out that you've made a secret agreement with it in your head? There are girls who would respond in a way you'd consider honorable—who would not only show appreciation when you provide them with complimentary food and beverages but even follow you home. Unfortunately, they're the sort of girls who catch a Frisbee in their teeth. Like the sign spinner on the corner in the Statue of Liberty suit, you think you need to lure women with a special offer, except instead of "Cash for gold!" it's "Snake your drain for a date!" You're apparently convinced that no woman would want you for you. This probably isn't entirely off base, since the "you" you currently are is a guy who thinks instilling a sense of obligation in a woman for favors rendered is your best hope of having sex again before you forget where the parts go. Stop grumbling that women are conniving takers, and work on accepting
yourself, flaws and all. Once your self-respect is no longer trailer-hitched to whether women want you, you can be direct—just talk to a woman, let her see who you are, and ask her out. She may turn you down, but if you feel okay about yourself, you'll see her rejection as your cue—simply to find the next girl to hit on, not to storm out behind the coffeehouse, shake your fist at the sky, and yell, "Hey, weren't the meek supposed to inherit the earth? Where's mine?!"
WAIT PROBLEMS A friend of a year has a pattern of raving about people she meets and then completely cooling on them. Last week, she met a man online. On their first date, he took her shopping, buying her a gold ring and a key ring he had engraved with both their names and "Thinking of you always." She describes him as perfect, brilliant, etc., and said she loves him and would marry him. I said things like "Take some time to get to know him," but I don't think she really heard me. —Concerned A first date like theirs raises some questions for the second date, such as, "Who should pay the invoice for the side-by-side burial plots?" Be prepared to wear out your face trying to talk sense into your friend. The problem is "confirmation bias"—our tendency to seek information that supports what we already believe and toss information that does not. In other words, your time would be better spent painting a wall and speaking meaningful thoughts to the paint as it dries. Another productive use of your time would be adding up how much of it you're spending worrying about this woman's problems. It isn't mercenary or ugly to expect a friendship to be mutual and to influence you in positive ways. If how she lives is dragging you down, you may want to give her a little less prominence in your life. Then, when you do see her, you can just admire her ring and share in her happiness at reaching that milestone golden anniversary—celebrating 50 joyous minutes of knowing a man.
Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com www.advicegoddess.com
[C2] Missoula Independent • November 14 – November 21, 2013
Pass It On Missoula is a community supported service offering FREE infant, toddler and maternity clothing to ALL Missoula area families! There are NO eligibility guidelines, simply reduce, reuse, and Pass It On locally! Community donations are accepted on location. PIOM offers FREE clothing to those in need, and affordable for all at 3/$5! Located at 2426 W Central Ave and open Monday-Saturday 10AM-5:30PM. 274-6430. www.passitonmissoula.com
ANNOUNCEMENTS Authentic Movement Group Cultivate Presence Through Authentic Movement. 1st and 3rd Sundays 6:30-9 at The Barn Movement Studio. Call Hillary Welzenbach, LCPC 5412662 to register. Baloo is a friendly lab mix who likes play, but also knows how to be lazy. This affectionate 8-year-old gentleman has a dapper white patch on his chest, just like a tuxedo. During Adopt-a-Senior month, his adoption fee will be equal to the date. So, on November 14th, his adoption fee is only $14 - what a bargain for Baloo! 549-3934. myHSWM.org CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com
filled to the rim to over flowing and perfect for the upcoming gift giving Holiday Season!
INSTRUCTION AIRLINE CAREERS – Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified – Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877492-3059 ANIYSA Middle Eastern Dance Classes and Supplies. Call 2730368. www.aniysa.com
ADOPTION PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293
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Fletch Law, PLLC Steve M. Fletcher Attorney at Law
Accidents & Personal Injury Over 20 years experience. Call immediately for a FREE consultation.
541-7307 www.fletchlaw.net
You’re Invited to our Annual Fundraiser! The New Hong Kong Chef & Seedlings of Change Present: Chinese Christmas High Tea. First Friday December 6, 2013; 6 to 8 PM at New Hong Kong Chef, 2009 Brooks in the Fairway Shopping Center 406549-6688. Enjoy a variety of Appetizers by Chef Wang Hao along with Jasmine Tea and Traditional Chinese Sticky Buns! Raffle Tickets: $1 each or six for $5. Purchase in advance from a SoC representative or at the restaurant also available during the event. The Raffle Drawings take place at 7:30 PM. Raffle items are gift baskets! Each basket is
EMPLOYMENT GENERAL Bartender Missoula Job Service 728-7060. Job # 9983493 Blue Mountain Clinic Is seeking a part time Registered Medical Assistant to help with medical chart triage. Some clinical nursing experience required. This position is perfect for someone who needs a flexible working schedule! Must be pro-choice. Please send cover letter and resume via snail mail to: Blue Mountain Clinic Family Practice ATTN: Annie Hansen 610 N California Missoula, MT 59802 Or via email to annie@bluemountainclinic.org
BARTENDING
$300-Day potential, no experience necessary, training available. 1-800-965-6520 ext. 278
Busperson $7.80 Hourly. Missoula Job Service 728-7060. Job # 9983492 Childcare - Owner/Director The Northern Rockies Parents’ Association is accepting applications for a contract position as owner/director of the Northern Rockies Learning Center (http://northernrockieslearningcenter.com/), a Forest Service-sponsored childcare center located at the Aerial Fire Depot Campus. This is a great opportunity for individuals looking for self-employment in the childcare industry. The director will provide a positive learning environment appropriate to the individual developmental needs of the children (0-6 years old), in addition to all administrative, accounting, legal, and other support necessary to operate the center. Applicants must be at least 21 years of age and have experience in early childhood development. A bachelor’s de-
gree is preferred, but not required. Individuals must submit to a criminal background check. Call Kelly Forthofer at 406-3706448 to request an information sheet. Submit a resume and cover letter to: Northern Rockies Parents’ Association/Kelly Forthofer, 5765 West Broadway St., Missoula, MT 59808. Applications must be received no later than November 13th, 2013. Dishwasher $7.80 Hourly. Missoula Job Service 728-7060. Job # 9983491
IT’S A CALLING. GoANG.com/MT 800-TO-GO-ANG Now hiring
PCA/ CNA
Flatbed Drivers needed from the Missoula area. Home weekly to Bi-weekly • Top pay • Full benefits • New equipment • 2 years experience required • Clean driving record • Must be present to apply. 406-493-7876 Call 9am-5pm M-F only.
For more information
Hab Tech I FT position pro-
please call
viding services to Adults w/disabilities in a res/com setting.
for evenings only
406-541-7063