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Performances09 Enrich. Educate. Entertain. Your Community Non-ProďŹ t Arts Center for 28 years

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WE CAN HELP SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM 1901 Cleveland Ave Suite B, Santa Rosa 707-576-0818 www.srtp.net 04

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Do you or someone you care about rely on prescription or opioid pain medication or heroin to get through the day? Ask the following questions: • Have they ever given up activities to use them? • Are they spending more time on activities to get them? • Have they ever used them despite negative consequences? If the answer to any of these questions was YES, they may have unintentionally become opioid dependent. Help might be closer than you think.

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12.02.09-12.08.09

05

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140DC85D;3A40<4AB After reading the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Viscera and Voyeurismâ&#x20AC;? article (Nov. 18), we really love the idea that these types of events would dismantle all factory farms. It would be a great start to finish all the slaughter of all these beautiful animals. Then the next step would be to end all types of animal devastation. If the road will be in a couple of small steps to end all of this type of Neanderthal-like slaughter, then it might be worth the wait. Open up your eyes to the destruction of the animalsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; lives, the environment, peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health and peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s conscientiousness.

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2><<842;D2:B The article â&#x20AC;&#x153;Viscera and Voyeurismâ&#x20AC;? reminds me of being at a hotel restaurant in Havana a few decades ago, where diners queuing up for their

tables were instructed to look into the open kitchen in order to watch and appreciate the process of bringing an animal, in this case chickens, from cage to plate. Additional understanding was provided by wall plaques and a quite knowledgeable â&#x20AC;&#x153;guide,â&#x20AC;? who even managed, quite effectively, to insert a bit of Marxism-Leninism into her patter.

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:44?H>DA;0FB>55>DA1>384B?C! I am very happy that my representatives voted against the Stupak-Pitts Amendment. Thank you. Unfortunately, we need to encourage those same representatives to make a hard choice and vote down a healthcare reform package that includes it as part of the final draft. It means that weâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;all of us readers and votersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;need to be patient and support a good plan for healthcare reform. We have waited this long for healthcare reform. I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

unacceptable to replace our already bad system with a new bad system. Let your representatives know that women will not be the bargaining chip in this healthcare debate!

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14;01>A8=6C74;01>A The implication in your paper that Gratonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new signs are somehow elitist or racist misses the point completely (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Street Talking,â&#x20AC;? Nov. 11). A community has a right to decide what it wants to look like. Graton has gone out of its way to accommodate the workers by building a labor center where they can congregate, continue to get hired as day laborers and receive benefits. The fact that many of them ignore the signs and continue to hang out on the street seems quite disrespectful to the efforts of the community (as does catcalling at passersby) and unfair to their fellow laborers who use the center. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not talking about a handful of people on the street; downtown Graton is one block long and, there are upwards of 50 men standing about every day. Personally. I would like to see them show more consideration.

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1861DCED;=4A01;4 We were hoping to find one of those educational images that show an average school bus rendered in miniscule outline when compared to the blue whaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s girth, but alas.

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State agencies see the fatal whale strike as an accident, but critics suggest negligence might be a factor By Bruce Robinson

C

he largest animals the earth has ever known, blue whales, are endangered, mysterious and legally protected. So when the 73-foot-long body of one washed ashore near Fort Bragg last month, scientific and media attention focused on the massive carcass, overshadowing the question of just what caused the whaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been told,â&#x20AC;? says California Coastal Conservancy and Ocean Protection Council staffer Shelia Semans, â&#x20AC;&#x153;is that when blue whales are feeding, their throats expand to nearly twice the size of their body, and when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re surfacing with their mouths completely full of water and krill and small

fish, they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see well and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not agile. So if they come up at the back of the boat where the propeller is, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good chance they wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even see it.â&#x20AC;? Semans manages the seafloor mapping project on which the Pacific Star was working when it hit the whale Oct. 19. The 176-foot survey vesselâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;much larger than has been widely reportedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;was moving slowly, around five knots, and â&#x20AC;&#x153;did not hit the whale,â&#x20AC;? Semans stresses. â&#x20AC;&#x153;All the impact was in the back where the propeller was.â&#x20AC;? After examining the fatal wound, she says the investigators concluded that â&#x20AC;&#x153;the whale came up into the prop, and the propeller severed the whaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spinal cord,â&#x20AC;? causing it to bleed to death. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was very clear what the injury was.â&#x20AC;?

But other questions remain: How and why could that have happened? And who should be held accountable? â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are massive penalties, both civil and potentially criminal, that apply for killing a protected marine mammal,â&#x20AC;? says Brent Planer, executive director of San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Equity Fund. But, he adds, enforcement of those sanctions depends on the National Marine Fisheries Service, which is now investigating the incident. Alternately, legal proceedings â&#x20AC;&#x153;could originate with some of the citizen groups that are understandably upset about the death of this whale,â&#x20AC;? says Andrea Treece, a senior attorney with the Center for Biological Diversity. But such a suit would hinge on &(

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4PacW)C^^1XVc^5PX[. Steps we can take today to limit climate-change chaos tomorrow

By Glenn Scherer and David Lillard

F

hen our economy tanked last year, politicians told us that our nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s financial institutions were â&#x20AC;&#x153;too big to fail.â&#x20AC;? Now, as world leaders prepare for a critically important climate summit in Copenhagen, we need to ask, is the earth too big to fail? You know the backstory. Scientific studies pile up monthly warning of a potential collapse of our planetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s human life-support systems. Most recently, researchers calculated that the Arctic icecap, one of earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest geographic features, could disappear in 10 summers. That meltdown might unleash global weather changes that could destabilize agriculture in a world where a billion people already go hungry, thereby threatening food riots and fanning the fires of global terror. Meanwhile, UCLA scientists have looked back 20 million years to find atmospheric carbon dioxide levels as high as today. Global temperatures then were five to 10 degrees Fahrenheit higher. Sea levels were 75 to 120 feet deeper. And Antarctica was nearly ice-free. Clearly, we are reshaping our â&#x20AC;&#x153;planet into something we have never seen in all of human history,â&#x20AC;? says climatologist Jonathan Foley. Still, a Senate climate bill remains stalled, and its cap-and-trade mechanisms are seen by many as inadequate to deal with global warming. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needed immediately are fresh ideas that will break the logjam before Copenhagen. What is needed is a great and radical compromise that deals decisively and honestly with the climate-change threat, but also allows the fossil-fuel industry, and the rest of the U.S. and world economy, to thrive. Such a compromise is possible, though its provisions will likely cause environmentalists and fiscal conservatives to fall out of their chairs. Here are four bold measures for breaking the climate deadlock: â&#x20AC;˘ Put tens of billions into clean coal Coal largely powers our nation. That is current reality. And clean coal is still a fantasy, but not long ago so was a trip to the moon. Money is the answer. It is already technologically possible to remove 90 percent of the carbon from coal emissions. However, according to a July 2009 Harvard study, this thorough carbon-cleansing nearly doubles the cost of making electricity. So why not offer federal loans to energy producers to cover the difference? A carbon tax would pay back that loan. It can be done: Norway is already sequestering carbon beneath the North Sea, and sequestration sites are being identified across America. This is no permanent solution, but triage; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a stopgap measure to buy us some time. At a cost roughly equal to current U.S. corn subsidies, sequestering coal-carbon emissions underground would give us a few decades to transition into a renewable-energy world, and give coal companies time to

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transform into 21st-century energy companies. â&#x20AC;˘ Repurpose petroleum Oil isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t renewable. Every barrel we burn for energy is wasted. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like burning money. Rather, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s transition from using oil as fuel and turn it into highquality plastics and other durable goods. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fund research into next-generation plastics and other petrochemically based materials designed for reuse in an endless loop, rather than being discarded. Already, scientists at the University of Washington are using petroleumbased plastics to make solar cells; other researchers are using them in high-quality building materials. Following the â&#x20AC;&#x153;cradle to cradleâ&#x20AC;? ideas of architect William McDonough, manufacturers are inventing ways to design shoes, carsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;even factoriesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;to be dismantled and reused. Such change could take decades, but an infusion of investment will quicken it. â&#x20AC;˘ Institute a global Marshall Plan Current economic and climate realities dictate that we bail out the developing world. Unless we bring the poor out of poverty through clean energy, all of the developed worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s carbonemission-reduction efforts will go for naught. Exporting sustainable-energy technologies to the developing world will help end poverty and dramatically boost our economy. When the United States rebuilt Europe and Japan after World War II, skeptics called it economic suicide. Today the U.S.-European-Japanese trading partnership is the strongest, freest economic engine the world has known. Likewise, investment in Africa today will create thriving free markets there tomorrow. â&#x20AC;˘ Adapt now No matter how successfully we implement the first three steps, too much greenhouse gas is already aloft. We must prepare for some climate-caused upheaval. Intensive and cooperative public-private planning is needed to anticipate the extreme weather, sea rise, wildfire, insect, disease and other damage done by climate change. These proposals will likely anger many. But sticking with the current crop of platitudes is getting us no closer to a solution. And weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve run out of time. Hear this recent warning from U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our foot is stuck on the accelerator and we are heading towards an abyss.â&#x20AC;? We are speeding headlong into climate chaos. A change in approach must come nowâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; before Copenhagen. Impossible? Not in the America we know. Glenn Scherer and David Lillard are the editors of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Blue Ridge Press,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; a syndicated commentary service about the environment that has reached more than 18 million newspaper readers around the United States. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

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evidence that the Pacific Star was in some way negligent or otherwise liable. In their desire to find such evidence, some outraged coastal denizens have focused on the vesselâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Geophysical Survey Permit from the California State Lands Commission. The Pacific Star â&#x20AC;&#x153;was surveying in California waters for a month without a permitâ&#x20AC;? charges Steve Sullivan, vice president of Sea Surveyor Incorporated, a Beniciabased company that also does seafloor mapping. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Their permit expired Sept. 30. And the State Lands Commission did not renew [it] until Oct. 22, which was three days after the whale was impacted.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s literally true, but not technically correct. Fugro-Pelagos, the company that hired the Pacific Star for the survey project, applied to renew its permit last July. But â&#x20AC;&#x153;because of state budget cuts or furloughs or something,â&#x20AC;? says Semans, that application â&#x20AC;&#x153;got bumped off the August agenda, the September State Lands Committee meeting was cancelled, and when it was finally approved on the October agenda, it was backdated to Oct. 1. So technically they were covered during the period during which the whale was hit.â&#x20AC;? The whaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death comes at a time when emotions are already running high around two other overlapping concerns. The National Resources Defense Council and other environmental groups have been fighting the U.S. Navy over its use of highintensity sonar in antisubmarine training exercises in California coastal waters, arguing that the midfrequency sounds harm whalesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and other protected marine mammalsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hearing and ability to navigate, mate and find food. Concurrently, the Marine Life Protection Act has aroused fierce antipathy along the North Coast, with charges of cronyism, indifference to local economic impacts and a lack of public transparency. The Pacific Star was using sonar to map the topography of the ocean floor, collecting data for use in defining the MLPA zones where fishing and other recreational uses of the ocean waters could be banned. â&#x20AC;&#x153;None of those biologists follow the legal guidelines for conducting sonar surveys in the ocean,â&#x20AC;? Steve Sullivan charges. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re out there surveying away without obeying the rules that govern their use.â&#x20AC;? All sonar is not created equal. The powerful sonic blasts used for naval exercises or identifying the geological strata beneath seafloor are much different than the sonar employed in mapping the surface of the ocean bottom, Semans explains. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s off the shelf, commercial hardware, at the same frequency range as any depth finder thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on any recreational commercial boat. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baleen whales donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hear that sonar,â&#x20AC;? she asserts, â&#x20AC;&#x153;so they wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even hear the boat operating.â&#x20AC;? Sullivan remains unswayed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There has never been a survey vessel that has impacted and killed a whale until now,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to say I told you so, but at the next meeting of the Ocean Protection Committee, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exactly what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to stand up and say.â&#x20AC;?

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In praise of a cacophonous theme song for Copenhagen

By Juliane Poirier

8

love music like I love life. But sonic brandingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is that like a Nike swash for the ear? Some of my best friends are in marketing, but I confess Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m unmoved by the sound logo thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s supposed to represent COP 15, the United Nations Climate Change Conference set for Copenâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; hagen next week. Nikolaj Abrahamsen composed a five-note piece suitable for cell phone tones, a three-second sound byte. I listened, but it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work for me. If anyone else out there prefers a more my s t i ca l ve i n o f music, raise your index f inger and bring it down to click on any website t h a t w i l l p l ay a recording of my counter suggestion: the singing of the humpback whale. Too heart-wrenching for a cell ring, and with musical phrasing much too long, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure. In that mammalian sea music resides the pathos of all living things whose tenuous futures depend in part upon what happens in Denmark Dec. 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;18. I could use more soulful music on this topic, something to calm the jitters, because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been such a build-up to the Copenhagen summit that the stress is getting to many. Some grumpy environmentalists are critical that Obama will only attend the meeting for a day; Greenpeace accused the president of just showing up for a photo op. But I am thrilled and counting my blessings. For once, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to suffer humiliation for being American when informed minds in the universe say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a global crisis! Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meet and make a plan.â&#x20AC;? I finally have a president who will show up to the meetingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; even for a dayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;to speak articulately on our behalf, comprehend the urgency of the issues and tell everyone that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in this and we mean it. The last time the United Nations tried to hammer out a climate-protection plan, the Bush administration refused to cooperate, opposing all efforts to create mandatory cuts in greenhouse gasses. President Obama, on the other hand, will attend on Dec. 9 and acknowledge to humankind that at long last we, the second biggest polluters on the

planet after China, are going to join the rest of the world in setting greenhouse-gasreduction goals. We are not as ambitious yet as the European Union, which overshadows our 17 percent reduction target with a 30 percent reduction, while Japanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offer is about 25 percent. China ambitiously promises to cut carbon emissions by 40 to 45 percent by 2020. So back to the sonicbranding thing. My preference for a whale song unites me to others who share my naturalist sensibilities, as Abrahamsenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s concise tones bind him to people who share his musical preference. There canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be just one tune; no single set of tones can summarize (â&#x20AC;&#x153;brandâ&#x20AC;?) the hope and fear we feel about the climate crisis. Instead, without knowing it, we are all together, albeit cacophonously, creating an unplanned theme song for Copenhagen. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s our cry for survival. And however heartfelt it may be, it sounds pretty strange. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s similar to the one in Horton Hears a Who. In that Dr. Seuss tale, the inhabitants of Who-ville have to make quite a loud sound in order for their world to survive destruction by Horton. And they do, but only after discovering that every single voice among them mattered; the last and smallest voice to join the fray gave the last dose of decibel needed to avert disaster. So maybe it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter which music says it for you, as long as you make sure the notes get out there somehow, live or recorded. I am a great believer in the power of music to help avert planetary disasters. Last month, a friend and I climbed Malibuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Point Dume, where we fell in with whale watchers and I saw closely for the first time two spouting humpback whales. Mesmerized, I said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I wish we could hear them singing underwater.â&#x20AC;? The man beside me smiled, reached for his iPhone, tapped it a few times and held to my ear a beautiful recording of humpback whale song. The experience was profound. When humanityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cacophonous theme song hovers over Copenhagen next week, I hope Obama can hear the whales.

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B?D3BCD3B Potatoes were a sustaining crop for early North Bay settlers.

=^B\P[[?^cPc^Tb Purple vikings, German butter balls and Russian bananasâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to find one thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not beautiful By Jonah Raskin

1

ake them, roast them, fry them, mash them. Boil them in their jackets or without. The ubiquitous potato, which originated in Peru and went on to conquer kitchens around the world, is making a big comeback in Sonoma and Marin counties with local potato farmers growing more than two dozen varieties, many of them gourmet if not downright exotic. Who said the spud had to be common or ordinary? Certainly not the farmers, whose bumper crops add up to no small potatoes, indeed, and who have found riches in Yukon golds and uncommon heirlooms. David Little has the biggest name in the local potato biz. He harvests about a hundred tons of yellow, red and purple potatoes, along with fingerlings and russets, in both Sonoma and Marin on five different properties that he rents from longtime farming families. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I cover all the bases,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have purple vikings, German butter balls and Russian bananas.â&#x20AC;? One of his

parcels straddles Sonoma and Marin, and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proud to say that with his feet spread apart he can be in two counties at the same time. Potatoes, he explains on a recent gray day, were one of the main crops in the North Bay in the 19th century; several generations of immigrants from Ireland, Germany, Poland and Russia feasted on them as a staple of the American diet. Of course, the potato has never gone hungry, or out of style, though dieters have been frightened by its carbs. Littleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s famed fingerlings have made their way to many of the best Bay Area restaurants, like the French Laundry, Chez Panisse, Greens and Quince, as well as to farmers markets in San Rafael and San Francisco. With short, white hair and a trim white mustache, Little is a fit 63-year-old ex-roofer who once spent his days on ladders and perched high above houses. These days, he works in the fields seven days a week, and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happy to have both feet planted firmly on the ground. Little loves growing potatoes a whole lot. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

not really work,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Potatoes are my calling. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re who I am.â&#x20AC;? Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s delighted, of course, with the potatoes that he grows, but he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take the lionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s share of the credit for himself. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all in the terroir, he insists; the combination of the salt air from the Pacific Ocean, along with the fog and year-round moisture in the soil, means he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to irrigate. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t not grow potatoes well here,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A couple of years ago, some of my seed potatoes spilled off my wagon and fell into a ditch. I came back two months later and there was a thick bed of potatoes.â&#x20AC;? The terroir is terrific, but Little knows how to read it, and how to make it work for him. Nathan Boone, who is tall and lanky, grows organic potatoes on a 10-acre rented parcel near Valley Ford, and at his own farm, First Light, in Sebastopol. This seasonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;his first serious commercial potato growing year â&#x20AC;&#x201D;he planted two tons of seeds in the spring and in October harvested about 25 tons of such potatoes as the purple Peruvian, Ozette, Princess La Ratte and more. &THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

17

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Boone stores his potatoes in burlap sacks in a barn built in 1850 and sells them on Saturdays at the Santa Rosa Farmers Market. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re also available at the Red Barn Store at Oak Hill Farm in Glen Ellen and at Berkeley Bowl in Berkeley. Depending on the variety, they sell for $2 to $3 a pound. One of his favorite recipes for fingerlings, which he gives out freely, suggests slicing them in half and roasting them in olive oil. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re delicious.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t not grow potatoes well here.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x201D;David Little

Supreme Quality and Worth!

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THE BOHEMIAN



A native of Indiana, Boone grew up on his familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s farm, moved west, grew vegetables in New Mexico, and for five years worked for the Sonoma Land Trust. On a cool, overcast afternoon, he showed off his sleek, new potato digger, a nifty machine that takes away the back-breaking labor of unearthing potatoes from the ground. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I came out here and fell in love with the landscape and with the lore of the place,â&#x20AC;? Boone says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Potatoes were grown here a hundred years ago and through much of the 20th century. From 1926 to 1976, the Kirkland family grew them. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot of history on this land.â&#x20AC;? Boone and White are both on the lookout for the famed â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bodega red,â&#x20AC;? a potato that, according to historians, the Russians brought to California in the 1800s and that was later cultivated by Indians at Fort Ross. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re mythological,â&#x20AC;? Boone says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d love to get my hands on some Bodega reds.â&#x20AC;? The Sonoma County North Slow Food Convivium has adopted the Bodega red as a pet project, and means to bring them back to farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fields and markets, and make them a household name again. Dee Swanhuyser, who lives in Sebastopol and works with local environmental groups, has been growing Bodega reds in her front yard garden since 1971; for decades, she has tossed them into her hearty beef stews. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I got them 38 years ago from Jim Sullivan, whose ancestors pioneered the county, and who swore they were from Russia,â&#x20AC;? she says. David White sees them as farmingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s holy grail. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A true Bodega red would be a real find,â&#x20AC;? he says wistfully. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have Tamales reds out here in West Marin, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re terrific. From my point of view, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to find a potato thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not beautiful.â&#x20AC;?

THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

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30 Years and going strong!

avid Chang hates the Bay Area. We all know that, right? Câ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mon, Fig-gate and everything? Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been tried and convicted in the media of crimes against â&#x20AC;&#x153;local and organic,â&#x20AC;? the NorCal code of culinary conduct. The verdict: Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s out to ruin our reputation, plain and simple. What more is there to say?

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As Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most romantic restaurant, thousands of couples over the years have celebrated engagements, weddings and anniversaries at La Gare.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny, when I ďŹ rst heard what Chang had saidâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in case you somehow missed it: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fuckinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; every restaurant in San Francisco is just serving ďŹ gs on a plate . . . do something with your foodâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;I knew two things. One, he said it onstage with Anthony Bourdain, which means he was required to say something as outrageous as possible. Have you ever seen Bourdain onstage? The man makes his living saying crazy shit. His very presence forces everyone around him to try to be crazy, too. And yet, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the only one who ever gets away with it. That same night, Bourdain called Alice Waters â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pol Pot in a muumuu,â&#x20AC;? but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Changâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dinky ďŹ g comment that takes the heat, getting him disinvited from a signing of his new book Momofuku for the Bay Areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Asia Society. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sort of hilarious.

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Family owned La Gare serves fresh local ingredients with top French and European cooking techniques.

La Gare

208 Wilson Street, Santa Rosa Wed, Thurs 5:30pm | Fri, Sat & Sun 5pm Mon, Tues Closed www.lagarerestaurant.com | 707.528.4355

Second, I knew something had been taken out of context. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost always the case when someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s entire conversation on any topic has been boiled down to one sentence. But when the hurt-feeling-a-thon began over Fig-gate, there was no stopping it. Luckily, Keplerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bookstore in Menlo Park had Chang in for an event, allowing area foodies to size up Changâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s postgame analysis. Of course, he got asked about Fig-gate, to which he answered, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I got myself into a big media mess.â&#x20AC;? But he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t back off his comments, suggesting Bay Area cuisine is neither as â&#x20AC;&#x153;progressiveâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;diverseâ&#x20AC;? as it should be considering the talent and cultural crosspollination here. But it was the next question that was more illuminating: Are there any cities that are measuring up to what they should be achieving? His answer: San Sebastian, Spain. And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it. So basically, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a single city in the United Statesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; not his native New York, not Los Angeles, not anywhere in the Northwest, Southwest or entire East Coastâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that satisďŹ es him. So itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really not a Bay Area thing, is it? Listening to his talk, it was clear that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much more of a David Chang thing: the guy is driven to change the culinary world, almost to a fault. He doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t trust success, and jokes that the two Michelin stars awarded to his restaurant Ko were â&#x20AC;&#x153;the worst thing that ever happened to me.â&#x20AC;? He can be moved to completely reinvent his restaurants almost on a whim, and he even admits to sabotaging them with bizarre approaches just becauseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;though he himself didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t use this wordâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;what they were doing wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t revolutionary enough for him. The guy wants the whole world to be on the culinary edge, and he isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t scared to slip off of it. Instead of reacting like a bunch of crybabies, the Bay Area food world could rise to the challenge put out by chefs as ambitious as Chang.

Stett Holbrook

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Celebrate with Us

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(707) 431-1533 11455 Old Old Redwood Redwood Hwy, Hw wy, Healdsburg Healdssburg www www.rodneystrong.com .rodneystrong..com THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

23

SHOP AT WHISTLESTOP ANTIQUES Where you'll find everything from armoires to stocking stuffers!

Gift Certificates

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HDCDB68DJCIN

North County 9ZAVBdciVcnV

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Open daily til 6pm Sun 10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5pm & Thurs evenings

707-542-9474 130 4th Street, Santa Rosa â&#x20AC;˘ in Historic Railroad Square Celebrating 37 years in Business

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Handmade Dark Chocolates, 100 Organic Teas, New Tea, Chocolate, & Caramel Flavors High Tea beginning early December Call for reservations Free Truffle with this ad! 10% off any purchase over $10 exp. Dec 16

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707.829.1181

6988 McKinley Street Sebastopol (beside Whole Foods)

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12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN



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F8=4C0BC8=6 >5B>=><0 2>D=CH uncans Mills is a blink-and-you-missit town, a scattering of false-front wooden buildings that resemble a back-lot Western set, missing only a bustling crowd of extras to step out of stagecoaches and exit buildings on cue. Matter of fact, the townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s missing crowds of any size, except for a few weekends of rodeo and Civil War reenactmentâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;what a town!â&#x20AC;&#x201D;which makes it all the more appealing a layover on the way to the ocean or to a foggy gray nowhere on a cool, winterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sunday.

D

Given the light trafďŹ c hereabouts, Wine Tasting of Sonoma County is not the most auspicious title. At least the new owners, third in a series, mercifully shortened it from Wine and Cheese Tasting of so on and so forth. Yawn, what were we talking about? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have gone with something less aggressively generic, more cozy and inviting, perhaps emphatic: Last Chance Wine Shack? Perhaps the best name is frankly descriptive, after all. How about: Taste Eclectic and Local Wines from Screw-Capped Summer Sippers to the Waiting List-Only Russian River Pinot Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Slavering Over but Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Get Your Poor, Wine-Stained Hands Onâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;We Can Help, Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Actually Quite Nice. The shop inherited some prized allocations from previous owners over the years, and so can offer customers several vintages of Williams Selyem displayed prominently up front. In the back, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;everydayâ&#x20AC;? selection includes an eclectic mix not always found every day and elsewhere, including Swirl â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Spit favorites like Atascadero Creek, Enkidu and Kokomo Syrah, Banyan GewĂźrztraminer, Coturri Zinfandel and Sean Thackrey Pleiades. All that, and microbrew too. The tidy, well-organized little shop was a loggerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cabin back in Duncans Millsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; mill days. A pellet stove warms the room, with table seating inside and on the deck, and a sofa to settle in on. Featured wines in the tasting ďŹ&#x201A;ight ($5) vary from day to day; a plate of three local cheeses ($9.50) is supplemented with dried fruits, nuts and as liberal a complement of crackers as is desired. Nice stop for a nibble and a sip on the way to completing a traditional weekend Sonoma Coast loop via Highway 116 and Bodega Highway. Or ďŹ nish the afternoon in Duncans Mills for a few tastes and curds in the gray light of gloaming, before dining at the Blue Heron across the road, which is now open againâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;already for a year now? News travels fast in a small town. Wine Tasting of Sonoma County, 25179 Hwy. 116, Duncans Mills. Open Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Monday noon to 6pm. Closing hour varies; call ahead. 707.865.0565.

James Knight

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THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

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Winnie the Pooh Christmas Tail

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Dec 11: It’s a Wonderful Life (radio show), produced by Raven Players Jan 22 - Feb 21: 2 by 5, a Kander & Ebb revue, produced by Raven Players

26

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Through January 17th, 2010

425 7th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95401 707-579-1500 www.sonomacountymuseum.org Hours: Tues-Sun, 11am – 5pm

32.AB?2

C>C0;;HŸ10CCH½ Buju Banton is the most visible homophobic artist in reggae today.

>]T7PcT>]T5TPa With the rise of homophobic dancehall and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;murder music,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; reggae has gone from Jamaicaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s possibility to its brutal reality By David Sason Everyman fi have a gal And every gal grab a man Man to man, gal to gal, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong Scorn dem â&#x20AC;&#x201D;â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ramping Shop,â&#x20AC;? Vybz Kartel featuring Spice, 2009

0

ndy Sambergâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brilliant Saturday Night Live character â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ras Trentâ&#x20AC;? navigates a day in the life of a reggae-loving college student, from the â&#x20AC;&#x153;shanty dormâ&#x20AC;? to his part-time job at â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jah Cold Stone Creameryâ&#x20AC;? and, of course, his DVD of Cool Runnings. The skit is hilarious because everyone knows a suburban â&#x20AC;&#x153;rude boy,â&#x20AC;? complete with the blonde dreadlocks and Bob Marley silkscreen, who smokes way too much weed. Reggae music is pervading our culture like never before, from annual festivals to skanking reggae remakes of Sgt. Pepperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lonely Hearts Club Band and Dark Side of the Moon.

But even the clownish Ras Trent canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t escape the ugly side of modern reggae. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh, fire pon Babylon,â&#x20AC;? he croons in an exaggeratedly American accent, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and fire pon a batty boy.â&#x20AC;? The satire gains surprising accuracy with the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;batty boy,â&#x20AC;? a Jamaican slur for a gay man thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appeared in many incendiary songs over the past 20 years, each shifting further the genreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s image of love and harmony toward a reality of violence and bigotry. At the center of recent controversy is dancehall superstar Buju Banton, whose fall tour was beleaguered by a well-organized boycott campaign that led to 23 cancellations, including shows in Berkeley and San Jose. In 1992, Banton broke Bob Marleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s record for most No. 1 singles in a year, but he also released a song called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boom Bye Byeâ&#x20AC;? whose catchy melody belied its lyrics: Boom bye bye, inna batty bwoy head [mimicking a gunshot sound â&#x20AC;&#x153;in a batty boyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s headâ&#x20AC;?] Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man, dem haffi dead

[â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rude boys donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t promote no queer men, they have to dieâ&#x20AC;?] (Two man) Hitch up on an rub up on, an lay down inna bed [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Two men connect, then rub each other, then lay down in a bedâ&#x20AC;?] Hug up on another, anna feel up leg [â&#x20AC;&#x153;They hug each other, then feel up the legâ&#x20AC;?] Send fi di matic an di Uzi instead [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Send for the automatic [gun] and the Uzi insteadâ&#x20AC;?] Shoot dem no come if we shot dem [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Shoot them, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come if we shoot themâ&#x20AC;?] Guy come near we, then his skin must peel [â&#x20AC;&#x153;If a man comes near us, then his skin must peelâ&#x20AC;?] Burn him up bad like an old tyre wheel Having been dropped from Peter Gabrielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s WOMAD tour that year due to the international uproar, Banton issued an apology and then a retraction, thus beginning nearly two decades of amends-making that at best can be called schizophrenic and, at worst, 'THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

27

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disingenuous. The singer claimed he had â&#x20AC;&#x153;moved onâ&#x20AC;? from a song he wrote as a 15-year-old, supposedly about a specific, well-known, case of man/boy rape. But Banton continues to perform the song. (His microphone was switched off at New Yorkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Reggae CariFest in 2007 when he began it.) He also claims he makes no money from â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boom Bye Bye,â&#x20AC;? but all U.S. copyright records show his name. In June 2007, Banton finally signed the Reggae Compassionate Act (RCA), which language reads in part, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It must be clear thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no space in the music community for hatred and prejudice, including no place for racism, violence, sexism or homophobia. We do not encourage or minister to hate but rather uphold a philosophy of love, respect and understanding toward all human beings as the cornerstone of reggae music.â&#x20AC;? Just a few weeks later, though, he denied signing it and denounced the act extensively throughout the Jamaican media. â&#x20AC;&#x153;His signing of the RCA is worthless,â&#x20AC;? says Peter Tatchell, the renowned British activist who co-founded OutRage!, part of the organization Stop Murder Music, and who coined the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;murder music.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Banton has been given so many chances to drop his incitements to kill LGBT people,â&#x20AC;? Tatchell says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He has refused, or agreed and then gone back on his word.â&#x20AC;? Cementing Bantonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reputation were reports from Amnesty International and the Human Rights Watch about his involvement in a 2004 attack on six gay men near his Kingston recording studio. The victims were called â&#x20AC;&#x153;battymenâ&#x20AC;? by the group of armed attackers, and the savage beating left one 44-year-old victim blind in one eye. After an investigation and trial that bordered on farceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it took about a year and a lot of international pressure to even issue a warrantâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Banton was acquitted. Still, many of his fans buy his persecution tale. Tim Nuss of Napa, 23, is one of them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Two years ago, I was going to his show in Oakland, but they shut it down,â&#x20AC;? he says, at last monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gyptian and Warrior King show in Fairfax. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave a stigma on artists who have evolved. Buju has moved on from that stage in his life; they should move on as well.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just what Bay Area LGBT leaders tried on Oct. 12 when they arranged a meeting with Banton and his reps at a Larkspur hotel. San Francisco County Supervisors Bevan Dufty and Eric Mar as well as SF LGBT Community Center executive director Rebecca Rolfe were among the officials who met with Banton to discuss the singerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lyrics and community protests against them. Hopes were high, what with the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act that same week and President Obamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s equally noteworthy speech on gay rights. But after grievances were expressed and a request for a town-hall meeting in Kingston was refused, no resolution was reached. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not starry-eyed, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have rose-tinted glasses,â&#x20AC;? says attendee Andrea Shorter of

28

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Equality California. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a step in the right direction.â&#x20AC;? Herself a dreadlocked African American, Shorter grew up on Bob Marley and continued her love of Jamaican music with Ziggy Marley and the ska revival of the 1980s, but sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appalled by what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s become. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Reggae music has had great meaning to me, whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about positivity and uplifting spirit and creating more united amongst people,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what real reggae is about.â&#x20AC;? That night at Bantonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show at San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rockit Room, a blast of pepper spray dispersed the audience. Activist groups deny orchestrating the attack, but it nonetheless quelled any remaining hopes for progress. â&#x20AC;&#x153;As I said in one of my songs, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;There is no end to the war between me and faggot,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Banton told a Jamaican talk show the next day. â&#x20AC;&#x153;After I met with them, they pepper-sprayed the concert. So what are you trying to tell me? I owe dem nothing, they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t owe I nothing.â&#x20AC;? A couple weeks later at a show in New Jersey, Banton reiterated the comment. As seen on YouTube, in a medley he yells, â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is no end to the war between me and faggots!â&#x20AC;? He then rails against the gay marriage efforts in California, before berating â&#x20AC;&#x153;battymenâ&#x20AC;? SpongeBob and Beavis and Butthead. It would be laughable if it werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t for the rapturous cheers of the crowd, who waved two fingers in the air like guns and chanted â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boom boom, boom boom.â&#x20AC;?

9

amaica is plagued by extreme poverty, AIDS and homicide. As recently as 2005, the island nation had the highest murder rate in the world, and still averages one murder every six hours. Homosexuality remains a crime in this British commonwealth. With a recent survey cited by Amnesty International showing that 96 percent of Jamaicans are opposed to any move to legalize homosexual relations, much of that violence is directed at the LGBT community. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The challenge is that the violence [gays and lesbians] face is one that is culturally and socially sanctioned and expected,â&#x20AC;? says Jason MacFarlane of J-FLAG, Jamaicaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LGBT rights organization. Under the antiquated â&#x20AC;&#x153;buggeryâ&#x20AC;? law, sodomy is a felony punishable by imprisonment with hard labor for up to 10 years. Additionally, says MacFarlane, â&#x20AC;&#x153;any sexual intimacy between men short of that is a misdemeanor punishable by up to two years. Furthermore, neither major political party in Jamaica has expressed any support for gay rights.â&#x20AC;? Since January 2007, reports to J-FLAG have shown at least eight men alleged to be homosexual have been murdered, and over 35 have sustained serious injuries from mob attacks. The list of incidents is harrowing. In early 2009, two lesbian couples were raped by men who had threatened them earlier, as a form of â&#x20AC;&#x153;corrective therapy.â&#x20AC;? In 2006, Nokia Cowan died after a mob shouting â&#x20AC;&#x153;Batty boy!â&#x20AC;? chased him off a pier in downtown Kingston; he couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t swim. At an open-air dance party, a young man watched his roommate killed by bullets to the head while â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boom Bye Byeâ&#x20AC;? played in the background. The bodies of lesbian couple Candice Williams, 20, and Phoebe Myrie,

THE BOHEMIAN



22, were found dumped in a pit at the home they shared. In 2004, a teen was nearly killed when his own father learned his son was gay and invited a mob to lynch the boy at his school. The stories go on and on and on. Despite international support, J-FLAG must keep the location of its headquarters a secret. The constant threats against the organization are taken seriously since the 2004 stabbing death of Brian Williamson, J-FLAGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s founder. Human Rights Watch researcher Rebecca Schleifer arrived at Williamsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home after his body was discovered and found a small crowd gathered to celebrateâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; with some singing â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boom Bye Bye.â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Gay means consented sex. What we have in Jamaica is not what it is in England, where two men live together. . . . In Jamaica, gay is rape.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Beenie Man

Why is support for such atrocities largely ignored by U.S. reggae fans? MacFarlane feels itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing sinister. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Patois is not easily understood,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sometimes people get caught up in the rhythm of a song and not so much its lyrics, and this has been what dancehall has been able to use.â&#x20AC;? More misconceptions stem from Rastafarianism, the religious movement of many reggae artists. Though seemingly progressive, with marijuana as a sacrament and a vegetarian diet, at its core itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s based on Judeo-Christian traditions. Rastafarians believe Haile Selassie I, the final Emperor of Ethiopia, is the incarnation of God or Jah Rastafari. Followers believe his death in 1974 was a hoax. The lion in the iconic red, yellow and green flag represents Jesus, who was known as the Lion of Judah. Along with the 65 percent Christian majority in Jamaica, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to see where the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s values come from.

;

ocal favorite Pato Banton, a British-born veteran of the genre, calls himself a â&#x20AC;&#x153;follower of Christ,â&#x20AC;? and at one point during his recent euphoric show at Petalumaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mystic Theatre, urged the audience to spread love to a stranger next to them.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am fully aware of the Jamaican communityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s concerns about homosexuality from a religious point of view, but I think the line is drawn when anyone pushes for homosexuals to be hurt or to be violently attacked,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Personally, I try my best to live in a way of acceptance. The Bible and spiritual teachings have taught me not to judge.â&#x20AC;? Raised in Birmingham, where his Jamaican DJ stepfather introduced him to the music, Banton wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t immune to similar bigotry. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everything that was going on in Jamaica was exactly going on in our community,â&#x20AC;? he remembers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I had friends in England who [are] very homophobic. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the few rather than the more who are accepting. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried my best to educate myself about homosexuality,â&#x20AC;? he continues, â&#x20AC;&#x153;regarding the genetics of someone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s masculine feel as if they want to be feminine, and vice versa, and through that, I have a deeper understanding. All people are Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children, whether theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re straight or gay. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got friends that are gay. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got spiritual friends that are gay. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only by getting close to those people that you truly understand the depth of what they are about.â&#x20AC;? Pato Banton feels Buju Banton is missing out, but he is hopeful for the future. â&#x20AC;&#x153;More acceptance of gayness will be the case in the future, with human progress and human development,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I believe it will put us in a position of being more accepting and understanding and inclusive.â&#x20AC;? Celeste Larkin of Sacramento is similarly optimistic. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been instilled in [Buju Banton] his whole life,â&#x20AC;? the middle-aged reggae fan said at the Pato show. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his culture. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the way he was raised. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think he should he should put this in his songs and go around telling people to kill the batty boys. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong, because if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re representing Jah, Jah is love.â&#x20AC;?

B

top Murder Musicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dancehall Dossierâ&#x20AC;? translates Jamaican patois slang and shows that Banton is not alone. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bounty Killer (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mi ready fi go wipe out this [faggot with a] pure laser beamâ&#x20AC;?), Capleton (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Capleton burn battymen, dem same fire apply to di lesbianâ&#x20AC;?), Elephant Man (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Battymen [must be] dead, [take them] by surpriseâ&#x20AC;?), Sizzla (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boom boom! Batty boys [must be] deadâ&#x20AC;?), the group TOK (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Those who drink in a gay bar, blaze the fire, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kill them!â&#x20AC;?) and Vybz Cartel (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oral sexer, lesbian [and] batty man [must be] assassinatedâ&#x20AC;?). Dr. Evil is a newer artist whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s come under fire for his self-explanatory song â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jah Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Like Gay.â&#x20AC;? Like Banton, Capleton and Sizzla have both signed the Reggae Compassionate Act. Dancehall singer Beenie Man (also an RCA signee) just had his upcoming Australian and New Zealand shows cancelled, including an upcoming gig at the Big Day Out Festival. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He has never apologized for urging the killing of gay people. In fact, he put out a hit song called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I No Apologiseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;,â&#x20AC;? charges activist Tatchell. â&#x20AC;&#x153;These cancellations will hit Beenie Man hard in the pocket. He has lost tens of thousands of dollars. The success of this

C

he gay rights movement is the civil rights struggle of our time. The president knows it, the state of California knows it, and 10-year-old future lawyer Will Phillips, the Arkansas fifth grader who recently refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance due to gay-rights inequities, knows it. Some reggae fans are still deciding which side of history they—and their money—want to be on. Gary Pratt of Sonoma, 19, a regular at the Reggae Rising festival each year, calls Buju Banton and Sizzla his favorite artists but doesn’t agree with their viewpoints on gays. “You don’t have to agree with everything they’re singing,” he says. “No one takes it to heart too much, their stances on things. They’re from a completely different culture from us.” Thirty-seven-year-old Colin Albert of San Rafael says, “I don’t think it’s right, but it kind of goes with the territory. I enjoy the music for what it is, man. I don’t get really political about it. I mean, I’m white, for God’s sake!” On the flipside sits a forum post on New Jersey–based DancehallReggae.com. Entitled “Biggest Battybwoy Killing Anthems of all Time,” the thread has collected over 300 different songs. One user insists Jigsy King’s “Rapapampam” is the best of all time: “I played this song one day, next thing you know I turned on the news and Luther Vandross was dead.”

7

as it always been this way? Perhaps no one in the world knows more about reggae’s golden age than writer and historian Roger Steffens. Ras Rojah, as Bob Marley nicknamed him, says that he never encountered such hatred back in the ’70s. “Never. Not even a hint of it,” he says. “If they did, it was more as something of humor and not telling people to go out and beat up batty boys and [rape] lesbians, as a lot of these people are doing these days. It’s despicable.” An early example of the humor Steffens cites is “Two Lesbians Hitch,” a 1981 song by Johnny Ringo describing two lesbians getting stuck on a sexual aid. But even back then, local DJ Drepemba of KPFA 94.1-FM was kicked off the air for playing it. “It was meant as a joke,

8

t’s really not surprising that of the dozens of Jamaican artists contacted for this article—from pioneers like Toots Hibbert and Jimmy Cliff, to crossover stars like Sean Paul and Damian Marley, to the besieged musicians like Capleton and Baby Cham themselves—none would consent to be interviewed or give a statement on the subject. It’s understandable, too, that no one from the Reggae Rising Music Festival, Sierra Nevada World Music Festival and DancehallReggae.com wanted to talk either. Each of these has a financial stake to protect. But it’s noteworthy how hesitant local fans have been to talk. After all, they’re the ones helping to finance some “murder music” artists. Over and over again, reggae enthusiasts eager to chat would disappear when homophobia was brought up. Perhaps it’s the “white guilt” phenomenon. After all, Jamaica was introduced to Christianity through European colonialism. This occurrence surely came into play back when Eminem was protested for homophobic lyrics while African-American rappers were ignored. Equality California’s Andrea Shorter thinks a movement toward tolerance is possible. “Sometimes, there’s an inclination to excuse ignorance and hatred of other minority groups because they haven’t had a fair shake themselves,” she says. “But Mr. Banton is a man of the world at this point; he can’t have it both ways.” “Would these venues host a concert by a neo-Nazi singer who called for the murder of black and Jewish people?” asks Peter Tatchell. “We are not against reggae, just against these few artists who incite homophobic violence and murder. Inciting violence and murder is a criminal offense everywhere.” Steffens reminds that reggae inherently serves a greater purpose. “It teaches people how to live a giving, happy, fruitful and praising life, aware of the influence of the deity in our lives and that there’s a broader world out there that we have to engage with,” he says. Despite the music’s seemingly progressive nature, no reggae artists, roots or otherwise, have publicly supported respect for gays. “It’s very hypocritical because there are gay clubs that everybody knows about,” Steffens says, “and some of the best-known artists and academics are obviously gay.” Any names? “Not that I’d be willing to tell you,” he replies with a nervous laugh. “I want to protect their lives.”

mr. spock’s first christmas • the snow men

Christmas

Vacation

David Templeton’s

eeyore’s

you know, but people are very, very sensitive, and I can’t blame them,” Steffens says. “There’s so much hatred in the world. It ain’t right.” As chairman of the Reggae Grammy committee, Steffens has led the effort to have two categories, one for dancehall and one for roots reggae, which rings truer to the genre’s utopian heyday. “There’s up-and-coming people like Tarrus Riley, who had one of the biggest pop hits in the history of Jamaica called ‘She’s Royal,’ which was a song actually praising women,” he says. “It was acknowledged as an antidote to all the hatred out there and all the disrespect for women.” Riley, however, is a U.S. native.

twisted christmas LIVE 7 ! Will Durst Steve Jaxon Michele Anna Jordan Debi Durst Lynn Ruth Miller Tim Kniffin Frances Lee McCain

Saturday December 5 7:30 pm

featuring

glaser center 547 Mendocino Ave. Santa Rosa (parking @ 7th St. Garage)

(of the movie 'Gremlins')

Tickets: $20 adv. $25 at the door Tickets sold online at www.brownpapertickets.com Also at Copperfields Book Stores, The Last Record Store, & Back Door Disc

An evening of offbeat, off-the-wall Holiday tales, read aloud by some of the North Bay’s funniest, most dangerous people, plus a musical tribute to the Christmas songs of Weird Al Yankovic, by “accordian babe” Renee De La Prade.

Crumbs at Midnight • Skid Row Santa

campaign sends a warning message to all murder music artists.” Unlike Banton, Beenie Man proudly performs his controversial songs, including “Damn,” which has him “dreaming of a new Jamaica” where he can “execute all gays.” But perhaps it’s just a matter of semantics. In a 2006 statement, Beenie Man explained his point of view: “Jamaica is not against gay people. Gay means consented sex. What we have in Jamaica is not what it is in England, where two men live together. That’s not it in Jamaica, and these people fail to understand that. In Jamaica, gay is rape. It’s a big man with their money going into the ghetto and picking these little youth who ain’t got nothing. And then give them money and then involving them. “There were 550 youths who got raped inna Jamaica, you know? And nobody seems to speak of that. Nobody sees the youth get raped and throat cut because the man who raped him, he knows him, and he doesn’t want him to go back and say he did it. And these things still happening.”

This event is a fundraiser for Food for Thought Food Bank and the UUCSR

the 7 principles of a successful christmas

To find out how you can help the LGBT community in Jamaica, please visit www.jflag.org. THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

29

Do The Holidays

Dicke

December 4

Spreckels Performing Arts Center 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park www.spreckelsonline.com

ns

Holiday Crafts Fair

Box Office: 588-3400

D.G. SCULPTURE STUDIO GALLERY

Presents “SPIRITS OF THE EARTH” AN EXHIBIT OF SCULPTURES BY DANIEL GRAHAM WITH NEW SCULPTURES INSPIRED BY HIS TRAVELS IN PERU OPENING: DECEMBER 12, 2009, FROM 2PM TO 7PM (SHOW ENDS JANUARY 7, 2010

Sat., Dec. 5 9am-5pm Sun., Dec. 6 10am-4pm Finley Community Center 2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa

Help us celebrate our 35th year!

FUNCTIONAL ART

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One Stop Holiday Shopping Over 60 booths featuring

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hand-crafted gifts Fantastic prize give-away!

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Admission $2.00 for adults 18+

The Holiday Spirit is Here Beautiful Handmade gifts for under $20

fine & fashion jewelry 146 N. Main Street, Sebastopol • 707.829.3036 10am–6pm • artisanafunctionalart.com 30

12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN

pendant by Saundra Messinger

Ride Rosie the Trolley free to Luther Burbank Holiday Open House and back.

For information call 543-3737

GALLERY HOURS: 10AM-5PM, WEDNESDAY - SUNDAY 25A MAXWELL COURT, SANTA ROSA 95401 (707) 546-1541 | DGSCULPTURE@COMCAST.NET WWW.DANIELGRAHAM.COM

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<0682A40;8B< Brunch with Isabel Allende is one of the ways San Francisco nonprofit The Beat Within says thank you to donors.

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BXV]TSBTP[TS3T[XeTaTS Bay Area writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; autographed books are the prize in a seasonal fundraising drive By Paul Wagner

8

f a book is a great gift, an autographed copy from the authorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own personal stash is even greater. And getting a signed copy from an author in person at a one-on-one brunch tops them all. The San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;based nonprofit the Beat Within knows this and has signed up Bay Area authors from the internationally renowned Isabel Allende to David Sheff (author of the bestselling memoir Beautiful Boy) for its Books for the Beat fundraising project. The writers donate signed copies of their works to the organization, which, in the style of the public-radio pledge-drive, hands out the autographed treasures and lunching opportunities to donors. The Beat Within started 14 years ago, in the aftermath of the shooting of rapper Tupac Shakur, when a San Franciscan named David Inocencio dedicated himself to reducing youth violence. Knowing that artistic opportunities and mentoring programs do that most effectively of all known approaches, he went into San Francisco juvenile halls, where he invited jailed kids to write and draw. He packaged their works in a publication and titled it The Beat Within. It was a hit. Juvenile justice systems from

Santa Clara, Alameda, Marin and Santa Cruz counties signed on. Over the years, the Beat Within has grown into a Bay Areaâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;wide organization with a 70-page weekly magazine. Each issue contains new prose, poetry and illustrations by incarcerated youth, with comments from adult mentors. Its inf luence is such that, according to Beat Within volunteer Jill Wolfson, who hatched the Books for the Beat idea, â&#x20AC;&#x153;judges read it, probationers read it, and now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s read by incarcerated adults, too.â&#x20AC;? Adults respond through their own publication, The Beat Without, sharing what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learned. Wolfsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s involvement with troubled kids began a little over a decade ago while she was co-writing a book about the Santa Clara County juvenile justice system titled Somebody Elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Children. She started volunteering and visiting local juvenile facilities on Friday nights to encourage kids to write their feelings and experiences. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been at it for 10 years. It seems to work. Wolfson relates numerous incidents of running into post-juvie Beat writers who remember the magazine, like the time she ran into a grocery checker in a natural-foods store who recognized her, grew animated and recounted, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey! Back in The Beat, I got Piece of the Week!â&#x20AC;? That,

Wolfson points out, was a decade previous, but the apparently now-successful grad of the grinding juvie system still found it a source of pride. Wolfson initially came up with the Books for the Beat concept in an effort to match a Community Foundation grant, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s taken off into a regional effort, and just in time for the holidays. Books for the Beat is offering The Beat Within for a $20 donation, an autographed book for $50 and brunch with a participating author for $500. The program, which lasts through the end of this year, offers cookbooks and poetry collections, childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s illustrated volumes and romance and mystery novels. Just a few of the selections are Isabel Allendeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Daughter of Fortune, Susie Brightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bitten, Randall Grahmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Been Doon So, Katherine Ellisonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mommy Brain, Ellen Bass and Laura Davisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; The Courage to Heal and Karen Joy Fowlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jane Austen Book Club. While donors canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t choose the individual title theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re assured a fine work, and they can make a request, at the brunch-donor level, as to which author theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to share a meal with. And whatever the gift, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all but guaranteed that nice do-goodersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; glow. For info, call 415.503.4170 or email books4beat@ gmail.com.

THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

31

369:

<03<4= Takeshi Kaneshiro is among the thousands at war.

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John Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Red Cliffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; a mega-blockbuster shown too short By Richard von Busack Bargain Tuesday Tuesday -- $7.50 $7.50 All All Shows Shows Bargain Bargain Tuesday - $7.00 All Shows Schedule Thu, Feb10th 26th Schedulefor forFri, Fri,Feb Dec20th 4th â&#x20AC;&#x201C;â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Thu, Dec Schedule for Fri, June 22nd - Thu, June 28th

2

arved from a two-part movie of nearly five hours, John Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s humongous Chinese hit Red Cliff seems to be either too short or too long. Promising subplots keep trying to break out. Emotional moments rise out of nowhere, only to have their force dissipated by yet another battle scene. I saw thousands die, most of them impaled by spears and arrows, but I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell you for certain which side they were on. The scope of this epic is positively mountainous, as if someone were trying to recreate the scope of the American Civil War in a couple of hours. The classic Chinese novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms goes over the material so thoroughly that every Chinese viewer will know immediately who everyone is in this tale. Following the style of Kurosawaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ran, Zhang Yimou used to fussily color-code the armies for vast, toy-soldier views. Woo drops us in the middle of the scrimmage, his camera following the thrusts of spears and the slashing of swords. Woo takes men and horses charging to an extreme not seen since the 1960s. When he adds explosives to the mixtureâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;after a very funny montage of a general roaring that the fire bombs need to be bigger, bigger!â&#x20AC;&#x201D;thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

â&#x20AC;&#x153;One Of Academy The FinestAward DanceNominee Films Ever Made! Language Film! Sumptuous In Its Length And Graceful â&#x20AC;&#x153;RawBest andForeign Riveting!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Rolling Stone WALTZ WITH BASHIR In ItsA Rhythm!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New York Times MIGHTY HEART (1:00) 3:00 9:15 (12:30) 2:45 5:00 5:00 7:00 7:20 9:45 RRBALLET LA DANSE: THE PARIS OPERA 2 Academy Noms4th! Including Best Actor! Starts Friday,Award December One Week Only! â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Triumph!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; New7:45 YorkNR Observer (1:15) 4:30 THE WRESTLER

LA VIE EN ROSE

Please Note: No 7:45p Tuesday (12:20) 2:45 5:10 Show 7:30on9:45 R

(12:45) 3:45 6:45 9:45 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Absolutely Unforgettable! FilmPG-13 Will 10 Academy Award Noms This Including BestChallenge Picture! You But It Will Also Move You!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; LA Times SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE â&#x20AC;&#x153;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x;ä&#x2013;&#x; â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Really, â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;ŤŰşŰşŰşŰşâ&#x20AC;Ź !â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Truly, RogerDeeply Ebert â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:00 7:10 R One of (1:15) This Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best!â&#x20AC;?9:40 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Newsday

PRECIOUS

ONCE 8 Academy Award Noms Including (1:30) 4:15 7:00 9:30 R (1:00) 3:10 5:20 7:30 R Best Picture, Best Best9:40 Director! Please Note: No Actor 9:30p & Show on Tue! MILK

Aand SERIOUS â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wise, Humble Effortlessly Funny!â&#x20AC;? (1:30) 4:10 6:45 MAN 9:30 R â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Newsweek (1:45) 4:15 7:20 9:40 R Please Note: No 1:30 Show Sat, No 6:45 Show Thu

WAITRESS

Please Note: No 9:40p Show on Tue,

(1:30) 4:00 7:10 9:30 toR 2:05p 5 Academy Noms Picture! On WedAward the 1:45p ShowIncluding is Moved Best

FROST/NIXON

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stellar Performances, Writing & (2:15)Mysterious, 7:20Clever R â&#x20AC;&#x153;Swoonly Romatic, Hilarious!â&#x20AC;? Exquisite Cinematography!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; USA Today â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Slant Magazine

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD AN EDUCATION

PARIS, JE Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;AIME (11:45) 4:45 9:50 PG-13 R (1:40) 4:00 6:45 9:00 (1:15) 4:15 7:00 9:30 R

Kevin Jorgenson theShow California Please presents Note: No 9p on Tue!Premiere of

PURE: A BOULDERING FLICK THE MENThu, WHO STARE AT GOATS Michael Mooreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Feb 26th at 7:15 (12:40) 2:50 4:50 7:10 9:20 R

SICKO MOVIES IN MORNING Please Note: NoTHE 9:20 Show on Tue!

Starts Fri, June 29th! Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon Advance Tickets IN On Sale at Box OfďŹ ce! MOVIES THENow MORNING FROZEN RIVER (12:00) 5:00 10:009:50 AM Fri, Sat,2:30 Sun & Mon7:30 Mornings 10:15 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA 10:30 AM AM COCO BEFORE CHANEL 10:20 AM CHANGELING 10:45 AMELIA Venessa Redgrave Meryl Streep Glenn CloseAM 10:40 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED 11:00 AM AM PRECIOUS 11:10 AM AM 2009 LIVE ACTION SHORTS (Fri/Mon Only)) 10:45 EVENING CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY 10:45 11:15 AM AM 2009 ANIMATED SHORTS Only) Fri,(Sun June 29th! BRIGHT STAR Starts

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12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN



no arguing that the scope of this movie f labbergasts. But Red Cliff is Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Republic titanism, the exuberance of a puritan culture. Woo was never as much a sensualist as some of his colleagues in Hong Kongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never-to-be forgotten cinema of the 1980s and 1990s; the flapping white doves of chaste love are his trademark. A love scene with Xiao Qiao (Lin Chi-ling) shows only a little bit of unwrapped back. Even if she werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only love object in the film, Lin is almost unfairly beautiful. Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s motif is to use her as the embodiment of peace itselfâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and when I say â&#x20AC;&#x153;motif,â&#x20AC;? I mean she literally spends her spare time calligraphing the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;peaceâ&#x20AC;? on paper. As for woman-warrior power, the subplot of the generalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister Shangxiang (Zhao Wei), who joins the army and becomes a spy had part of its story line cut for this Western edition. Women hardly hold up half of this movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lowering skies. In 200 A.D., the power-mad prime minister Cao Cao (pronounced â&#x20AC;&#x153;chowchowâ&#x20AC;? like the relish, not â&#x20AC;&#x153;cow-cowâ&#x20AC;? like the Ella Mae Morse boogie) has bled China into a kind of peace. But some of his former enemies are restless: a pair of them, Liu Bei (You Yong) and Sun Quan (Chang Chen), hole up at the Yangtze River fortress of Red Cliff to wait for the attack by sea. Among this cliffside assembly of royals and generals, the most fascinating figure is the Confucian paragon Zhuge Liang (played by the Taiwanese/indigenous Okinawan actor Takeshi Kaneshiro, one of the coolest presences we have in 2009 cinema). The adviserâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tactics save the entrenched rebels from the vaster force. Whenever this calm, white-robed strategist enters, some particularly exciting business develops. Zhuge figures in an ingenious way to collect weapons, using fog and decoys. He also engineers a way in which an attacking cavalry is lured into a maze of iron-shielded phalanxes, as cleverly synchronized as a football half-time show. Red Cliff assures us the ancient Chinese had knowledge of everything from soccer to the infectiousness of diseases. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more likely to believe it when Zhuge shows his knowledge of meteorology. The f laming finale is Zhugeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest gambit, involving the f lickering of a candle, the ultra-close-up shots of drops of water falling from a water clock, and one manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assurance that a handful of seagoing people can take on the landlubber Cao Caoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ridiculously huge armada. The very end, of course, is a reprise of Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most famous contribution to cinema, the multi-angle Hong Kong standoff, so famous that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s being parodied on AT&T commercials right now, some 15 years or so after its invention (i.e., â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sorry Billy. Happy Pony is on. And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not missing Happy Ponyâ&#x20AC;?). Cutting Wooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s epic down to size was a foolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s game, and it makes me wonder what it would have been like if the only comparable epic, Peter Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lord of the Rings, had been similarly shortened with Aragorn out of it or with Gollum as a walk-on. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Red Cliff â&#x20AC;&#x2122; opens on Friday, Dec. 4, at the Rialto Lakeside Cinemas, 551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. 707.525.4840.

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12.02.09-12.08.09

33

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Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Eloy Camacho.

FOR NORTH BAY MOVIE TIMES, GO TO www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com 34

12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN



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Wholesome Holidays Attention all parents whose urge to control what their children view is superceded only by the urge to call networks and complain angrily about the blasphemous sacrilege that was the filthy and repulsive sight of Adam Lambert kissing another male while incidentally performing the most horrendously unlistenable crap under the guise of a â&#x20AC;&#x153;songâ&#x20AC;? this side of the Black Eyed Peas, though no one seems to be outraged by the attack on our ears, my Americans, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about the children! children! children! and protecting their innocent virgin eyes from the gays! gays! gays! although that keyboardist basically looked like a woman anyway, but holy bejeezus whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with all the crotch-ramming and groin-sucking, ack, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all praise the FCC: there will be no offensive material for you or your precious family when American Christmas, featuring 12 runner-ups from American Idol, presents holiday classics for the publicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wholesome enjoyment on Saturday, Dec. 5, at the Lincoln Theater. 100 California Drive, Yountville. 8pm. $29â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$49. 707.944.1300.

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Catch the Wave With computer-savvy tech geeks freaking out over Google Wave and the limited number of exclusive invites going around for it, one can easily feel left out. Why sit around for an invitation to join a web-based communications platform (boooo-ring) when you can dance your ass off (whoo-hoo!) with other human beings (imagine!) to live music (bring it on!) with no ridiculous, manufactured, viral â&#x20AC;&#x153;velvet rope.â&#x20AC;? This weekend, Eric Lindell slides back into town with his New Orleans all-star group, Dragon Smoke, and the doors f ly wide open to all. With Neville Brothers keyboardist Ivan Neville, Galactic drummer Stanton Moore and bassist Robert Mercurio, the red-hot group formed in 2003 has limited its in-person simmering solely to Louisiana venues. Until now. Whatever you doâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;even if you get invited to waste your evening on Google Waveâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;be sure to check out this bayou match-up made in heaven on Saturday, Dec. 5, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 9:30pm. $20. 707.829.7300.

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Trippinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Base)Balls 98<<0AB70;;

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Favorite Pastime.â&#x20AC;? The humorous, drug-friendly songwriter, also responsible for the taut, pointed anti-Bush anthem â&#x20AC;&#x153;You Got Away with It,â&#x20AC;? sings on Wednesday, Dec. 9, at the Mystic Theatre. 23 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 8pm. $20. 707.765.2121.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the sports worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest stories, and one that deserves as many retellings as the world can stand. In 1970, Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis was called at the last minute to pitch a game against the San Diego Padres, and though he was already on LSD, decided to eat another hit of acid before taking the mound. In his dilated eyes, the umpire morphed into Richard Nixon, the batter turned into Jimi Hendrix, and the catcher . . . well, the catcher mysteriously disappeared from view. Time stretched and condensed, and the game was a blur, but at the end of the ninth inning, Ellis had amazingly thrown a nohitter. Ellisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; achievement is reaching a whole new generation thanks to a quirky animated YouTube video thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spreading like wildfire, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s immortalized in Todd Sniderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new song,

Balboa Buster From his early days blowing up Fender amplifiers and helping to invent surf rock in Balboa, Calif., the enduring 72-year-old electric guitarist Dick Dale has become a bona fide surf-guitar legend. After all, he was pictured actually surfing on the cover of his first albumâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;something the Beach Boys could never claim. Now a reliable road performer still shredding his low E-string for vintage guitar nuts and Pulp Fiction fans alike, Dale has ridden the success of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Go Trippinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Miserlouâ&#x20AC;? with some classy touchstones along the way. Who knew, for example, that he recorded the version of Saint-SaĂŤnsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Carnival of the Animals that plays inside Space Mountain at Disneyland? Dale plays often around these parts, but the perfect place to see him is in a small club. Shout for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ghost Ridersâ&#x20AC;? when his huge tone crams the little stage on Sunday, Dec. 6, at 19 Broadway. 19 Broadway, Fairfax. 9:30pm. $20. 415.459.1091.

6PQT<T[X]T

THE BOHEMIAN

11.02.09-11.08.09

35

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1428 Main Street St Helena CA

707.967.9700 www.napaloha.com

Lowest Price in Town!

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Brazilian Waxing â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘

fast (30 min) licensed & professional clean & sanitary affordable ($35)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Always Professional, Always Affordableâ&#x20AC;?

Touchstone Therapies 707.331.0631

882 2nd Street, Santa Rosa www.touchstonespatherapies.com

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The â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s in full effect at the Hopmonk he 1990s revival has yet to hit full swing, but when it does, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no question that Digable Planets will be a key component. Nothing says early â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s conscious hip-hop quite like the groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s revolutionary Reachinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (A New Refutation of Time and Space), a chilled-out 1993 debut that yielded the massive hit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat).â&#x20AC;? Along with US3 and Guru, Digable Planets mined bop-era jazz instead of James Brown for its samples, and changed hip-hopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vibe forever; even E-40 began his My Ghetto Report Card with a verbatim sample of a needle dropping on the original recording. The group is now touring without Ladybug Mecca, the groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s female member, and in doing so will appear sadly bereft of another integral â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s idea: that women can rock the mic just as hard. Nevertheless, original members Doodlebug and ButterďŹ&#x201A;y (shown) perform on Wednesday, Dec. 9, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 9:30pm. $20. 707.829.7300. Another staple for your upcoming â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s party would be a copy of Mushroom Jazz, by DJ Mark Farina. Beginning in 1996, Farinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s iconic CD covers simply featured a small mushroom, or two, or three, depending on the volume, and specialized in the latest and greatest house music and acid jazz from the Bay and beyond. Mushroom Jazz became the late-night soundtrack to many cram sessions, makeout parties and drug binges, and Farina reigned supreme as the king of San Francisco DJ culture until ITF championships and technical prowess replaced tastefully blended grooves at the turn of the century. Still actively hunting for the next great beat, Farina has since been all over the world, from Acapulco to Ibiza, and recently released Fabric 40, a stellar mix from Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s famed Fabric club. He rocks the decks as part of the weekly Juke Joint series on Thursday, Dec. 3, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 9pm. $15. 707.829.7300.

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BC0=30A3140A4A As one of the last great pop vocalists, Johnny Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; enduring music has come to definitively represent an era.

FX]cTaF^]STa[P]S Christmas then and now with Johnny Mathis

By Gabe Meline

F

hen Johnny Mathis returns this year to the Wells Fargo Center in Santa Rosa for his Christmas show, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be joined onstage by a full orchestra, a resplendent set of holiday furnishings and a living miracle of natural preservation: his voice. At age 74, Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; distinctive, high-pitched singing voice has exactly the same gilded sheen of his biggest hit, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Chances Are,â&#x20AC;? recorded over 50 years ago. His pitch control, gossamer tone and upper register are resiliently unblemished by the vagaries of time; at last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show in Santa Rosa, a collective gasp of disbelief ran through the audience when Mathis nailed with grace and precision the sublime, high-octave third verse of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Misty.â&#x20AC;? How does he do it? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think a lot of it just has to do with good luck!â&#x20AC;? laughs the legendary singer, on the phone from his Southern California home. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t had any major problems, vocally, along the way, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been lucky to meet people whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve helped me.â&#x20AC;? Those people include a kinesiologist who oversees Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; daily exercise regimen, and surprisingly, several vocal teachers. The thought of Johnny Mathis, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sold over 180 million records worldwide, taking voice lessons is a little like, say, Jack Nicklaus signing up for a class on how to play golf. Shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it be the other way around? Mathis, an avid golfer with seven holein-ones in his lifetime, laughs again. â&#x20AC;&#x153;These golfers that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve played with in these celebrity tournaments, like Jack Nicklaus, they all take lessons constantly,â&#x20AC;? he points out. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It just seems like a good idea.â&#x20AC;? Even if his voice one day up and leaves himâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which it shows no sign of doingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;this

would still be Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; time of year. December has been kind to his career, having yielded him seven successful Christmas albums out of a vast discography. Oprah Winfrey, echoing the sentiment of households nationwide, has famously said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I feel like thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no Christmas in my house without this man. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have Johnny Mathis, you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have Christmas.â&#x20AC;? And, yes, Mathis still gets excited hearing his voice all over the radio, on television and in department stores during December. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always a thrill,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re lucky in this business, you get one hit song, but over the years, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had so many. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a special thing when they recognize it enough to play it on the radio.â&#x20AC;? It was not always so for the singer, growing up in San Francisco. Mathis had six siblings, and the house was so small that when his parents brought home a piano one year it had to be disassembled before it could fit through the door. Christmas, then, was especially close-knit. What Mathis remembers most is the aroma in the air. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My God, the smells, always around the holidays! My dad was an avid hunter and fisherman, and we were always fascinated by the stuff he would come back home with, when he and my mom would prepare it,â&#x20AC;? Mathis remembers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And then the smell of the Christmas tree when they first brought it in, the pine, the abundance of fruit around all the timeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that all had a nice smell to it.â&#x20AC;? Of course there was music. As a member of various choirs, Mathis annually sang carols at social functions and department stores, and he was especially fond of the Christmas music of Nat â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kingâ&#x20AC;? Cole. When he was just 19, he landed a job at the Blackhawk, a jazz club in North Beach, and at the incessant urging of the nightclub owner,

Columbia Records producer George Avakian reluctantly came to see Mathis sing. In one of the great Cinderella stories of the music business, Avakian immediately wired a now-famous telegram to the record company offices back in New York: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Have found phenomenal 19-year-old boy who could go all the way. Send blank contracts.â&#x20AC;? Since then, Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; life has never been the same. Just like the mid-century modern dĂŠcor from the cover photo of Open Fire, Two Guitars, his beautifully pared-down 1959 album eschewing the lush Mitch Miller production of his largest hits, Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; enduring music has come to definitively represent an era. During the late â&#x20AC;&#x2122;50s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s, his records conquered the national consciousness. No wonder, then, that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve recently been featured several times in the hit period television show Mad Men. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Not for Me to Say,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wonderful! Wonderful!,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Twelfth of Neverâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Mathis crafted these silken singles on the cusp of the Beatlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; rise, but looking back, the prolific interpreter doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t denigrate rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll the way many rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; rollers then denigrated him. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Beginning my career, rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll was coming up, and it was loud and it was forceful and it was everything that I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, musically,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was difficult for me to understand. But then I got to know, through my travels and performing, some of these people who did this music, and it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t foreign and it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t weird and it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bad. It was sometimes just loud! But otherwise, it was fine.â&#x20AC;? Though heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never recorded straight-up rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll, Mathisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; current performances show his great versatility in the years since. From the eerie â&#x20AC;&#x153;99 Miles from L.A.â&#x20AC;? to the wild favela twists of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Brazil,â&#x20AC;? the electricguitar beat of the Stylisticsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x153;You Make Me Feel Brand Newâ&#x20AC;? and the South American ĂŠlan of â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Felicidade,â&#x20AC;? Mathis has a way with making a song his own. Last year, when he sang â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmastime Is Hereâ&#x20AC;? from A Charlie Brown Christmas in Santa Rosa, the rapt theater basked in the sound of total command. It felt, as so many other Mathis performances, like the definitive version. No longer a young boy in San Francisco, Mathis spends Christmas day more reflectively these days. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve long gotten over the act of having to buy everybody a Christmas present,â&#x20AC;? Mathis says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I really get into the spirit of having spent a whole year and what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done, really, to cement relationships with close friendsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;looking back at whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gone before. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a wonderful reflection.â&#x20AC;? With unemployment and foreclosure looming for many out there this year, Mathis is sensitive that the holidays can sometimes be salt in the wound of bad times for others. And heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quick with advice. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Listen to music. Music takes you away,â&#x20AC;? he implores. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I realize that times are difficult, but there are a few things, and music is one of them, that really will help you get over some difficult times. Over the years, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve received so many wonderful letters from people whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve told me my music helped them over difficult times. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing in the world that beats that. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the greatest tribute in the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that somehow, someway, what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done has meant a great deal to someone that you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even know.â&#x20AC;? Johnny Mathis performs on Thursday, Dec. 10, at the Wells Fargo Center. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. 8pm. $30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$100. 707.546.3600.

the t he llast ast d day ay saloon saloon nightclub n ightclub & r restaurant estaurant tthe h e bbest est p place l a c e ffor or music, llive ive m u s i c , ddancing a n c i n g aand n d dining dining THE BAR THE BAR AND BA AND RESTAURANT RESTAURANT OPENS OPENS ON ALL SHOW O N A LL S HOW DAYS DAYS AT AT 4 PM PM

112/3 2/3 9 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $ $10/12 10/12 > R R&B &B B H HIP IP H HOP OP SKEE-LO S K E E - L O + RAPPIN R A P P I N 4 TAY TAY + A AT T ALL A L L COSTS COSTS 112/5 2/5 7 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $ $10 10 O OR R U UNWRAPPED NWRAPPED T TOY OY

SSANTA ANTA ROSA ROSA FIREFIGHTERS FIREFIGHTERS

TOY T O Y S FOR FOR K KID IDS PHAT JOE PHAT JOE M MENDOSA ENDOSA + M MIKE IKE B BETANCOURT ETANCOURT + f frobeck robeck + d dj j o on-que n-que + TTHE HE M MANZANITA ANZANITA AACOUSTIC COUSTIC BBAND AND PLUS P LUS S SPECIAL PECIAL G GUESTS UESTS 112/10 2/10 88:30 :30 P PM M S SHOW HOW > $ $10/12 10/12 > R ROCK OCK

FFOX OX JJINGLE INGLE BBELL ELL BBALL ALL SSMILE MILE EMPTY EMPTY SSOUL OUL + B BURN URN H HALO ALO + T THE H E LLAST AST V VEGAS EGAS + M MOTOGRUV OTOGRUV

112/11 2/11 88:30 :30 P PM M S SHOW HOW > $ $22/$25 22/$25 > B BLUES LUES

T H E FORD THE FORD B L U E S BAND BAND BLUES WITH W I T H ROBBEN R O B B E N FORD FORD 112/12 2/12 88:00 :00 PM PM SHOW SHOW > $$12/$15 12/$15 > RROCK OCK > 116+ 6+

THE THE L O S T BOYS BOYS LOST + 2 211 G GRAMS RAMS

112/15 2/15 9 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $$10/$12 10/$12 > RREGGAE EGGAE RROCK OCK

40 O 40 OZ. Z. T O FREEDOM FREEDOM TO + P PION I O N 2 ZION ZION

112/17 2/17 9 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $$15 15 > AAMERICANA MERICANA RROCK OCK

BOB BOB S CHNEIDER SCHNEIDER + P PAT AT J JORDAN ORDAN B BAND AND 112/18 2/18 9 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $ $15 15 > 8 80'S 0'S D DANCE ANCE

TAINTED T A I N T E D LOVE LOVE 112/19 2/19 9 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $ $17/20 17/20 > M METAL ETAL

DEATH D EATH A ANGEL NGEL 112/31 2/31 9 PPMM SSHOW HOW > $$40 40 > 770'S-90'S 0'S-90'S DDANCE ANCE

WONDERBREAD W ONDERBREAD 5 HIGH H I G H SPEED S P E E D WOBBLE WOBBLE all a ll s shows hows are are 21+ 21+ u unless nless noted noted ffor or r eservations: 707.545.5876 707.545.5876 reservations:

707.545.2343 7 07.545.2343 1120 20 5 5th th s street t r e e t @ ddavis av i s s street treet santa rosa, s anta r o s a , ca ca

lastdaysaloon.com

THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

39

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Take a scenic drive for a unique dining experience

Dinner and a Show Reservations advised HAPPY HOUR Mâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;F â&#x20AC;˘ 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6PM EST. 1941

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Dec 4 BEAUFUNK WITH GUEST

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SISTA MONICAA PARKER

LYDIA PENSE AND COLD BLOOD Dec 5 8:30pm DREW W HARRISO ON OF THE SUN KINGS Dec 6 â&#x20AC;&#x153;In the Spirit of Lennonâ&#x20AC;?

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STOMPY JONNES Dec 11 Swing with the Coolest Yule! Fri

8:30pm Rancho Debut!

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Dec 13 THE SACCRED PROFANITIIES Honky Tonkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Roll 4:00pm / In the Bar

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PETTY THEEFT Dec 18 The Ultimate Tom Petty Tribute 8:30pm

SHANA MORRRISON Dec 19 Shana and Santa Together! Sat

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SANTA & MRS CLAUS 2:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4:00pm Dec 20 TIM CAIN Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHRISTMAS SING-ALONG 4:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6:00pm Sun

THEE HOT CLUUB OF SAN FRANCISCO 7:30pm

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4th Annual Holiday Bash!

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80â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Party Band 8:30pm New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Party!

Dec 26 THE 85â&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

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SMIRNOFF SMIRNOFF FF :7!+ : :7! 7!+

Thur, Dec 3 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 7:25-10:30pm Circle & Squares Square Dance Club Fri, Dec 4 7:00pm

2/"%24 2 /"%2 / %24 HERRERA H ERRE R RA DUSTIN D UST S IN S SAYLOR AYLOR "!.$ "! .$

Sun, Dec 6 8:30-9:30am Jazzercise 10:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11:30am Zumba Fitness with Anna 5:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country-Western Lessons & Dancing $10 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 3:30, Meeting 4:00 7:00-10:00pm New! Scottish Country Dancing Tues, Dec 8 8:45-9:45am; 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING

Weigh in 9:30, Meeting 10:00 7:15-9:00pm AFRICAN DANCE with Victoria Strowbridge feat. West African and Congolese Dance

Santa Rosaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue â&#x20AC;˘ Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 â&#x20AC;˘ www.monroe-hall.com THE BOHEMIAN



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Bfrom rews the world &Tasty Paround ub Grub

Hand-Crafted

The Coyote Den Bar & Dance Hall

Events HDCDB68DJCIN

Twice As Good Rockin' Blues

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Saturday, December 5th â&#x20AC;˘ 8pm

Thursday, Dec 3 @ 6:00 pm

Food For Thought Fundraiser

Friday, Dec 4 @ 7:30pm

Jennifer Tuker

Mark Weston Band â&#x20AC;˘ Rock-n-Roll Saturday, December 12th â&#x20AC;˘ 8pm

Acoustic Folk www.myspace.com/jennifertucker2008

Steven Bates â&#x20AC;˘ Rock

Saturday, December 19th â&#x20AC;˘ 8pm

Saturday, Dec 5 @ 7pm

Thursday Night KARAOKE â&#x20AC;˘ 8:30pm

The Easy Leaves

$100 Cash Drawing

Americana www.myspace.com/theeasyleaves

Sun, Dec 6 @6 pm

Radio K-Bob 707.874.9037 | www.barleynhops.com 3688 Bohemian Highway, Occidental

5 miles North of Ukiah, Hwy 101 â&#x20AC;˘ West Road Exit, Ukiah

707-485-0700 â&#x20AC;˘ www.coyotevalleycasino.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

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42

12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN



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â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Balletâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;: beautiful, bold and a bit boring a Danseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Le Ballet de lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;OpĂŠra de Paris is the latest documentary from acclaimed filmmaker Frederick Wiseman. The film revolves around seven ballet productions put on by the Paris Opera Ballet. Wiseman (The Garden, State Legislature) re-affirms his expertise in the field of documentaries with a magnificent film that not only captures the essence of ballet, but also plays with the emotions of the audience. Ultimately, however, the film bores us with its repetitiveness and confusing segments. La Danse begins by presenting separate groups rehearsing for their upcoming performances. Within the first five minutes, we see the intricacies embedded in the dances. Watching these dancers is much like washing oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hair: rinse and repeat. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Voila!â&#x20AC;? a choreographer shouts after the dancers have repeated the same dance move again. Seeing the same routine becomes repetitive and annoying, and one can only assume that this was one of Wisemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intentions. However, once the movements are mastered, the final piece is mesmerizing. La Danse is a feat with much visual stimulation and manages to interest a majority of the time. The dances are extremely complex, and each step is mastered beautifully. However, like many of Wisemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s films, there is also much that is boring, unexplained and just plain odd, all of which can take away from the overall experience. Those best rewarded will be those with a huge interest in ballet. La Danse opens Friday, Dec. 4, at the Rialto Lakeside Cinemas (551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa; 707.525.4840) and the Smith Rafael Center (1118 Fourth St., San Rafael; 415.454.1222). Eloy Camacho

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EZiVajbVA^WgVgn Michele Cameron

Straight Talk o Hard Facts o Gentle Guidance ASKâ&#x20AC;Ś for What You Need Time to sell? Not sure where to start? ASK for an Elder Concierge agent

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For customer service, email bohemian@ placepersonal.com, or call 1-617-450-8773 Women Seeking Men 1949 CLASSIC SWF, tall, slender, active, enjoys swimming, bicycling, mysteries, hiking, cooking, barbecuing, symphony. Seeking well-mannered, caring S/DWM, 50-60, N/S, N/D, N/Drugs, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. 415313



SHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S A LADY Attractive SWF, 69, seeks gentleman, 65-75, for friendship and companionship. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s talk and see what develops! 305310



LOCAL GAL WF looking for someone fun, nice, loyal, honest and intelligent who likes good conversation, wine tasting, art, barbecues, camping, hanging out at home and more. 40-55. 306414



LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HAVE FUN Spiritual SWF, young 70s, petite, professional, employed, kids grown, ISO a fine, grounded gentleman, 65-70, for possible LTR. 240656



LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 40, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, reddish-brown hair, enjoys horseback riding, art, the ocean, going new places, shopping, antique stores, movies, going for drives, taking trips. Looking for SWM, 40-55, with similar interests. 323931



TRADITIONAL VALUES SAF, 60, petite, very healthy, very active, secured, honest, sincere, hard-working, likes gardening, cooking, reading, home stuff, occasional drives to the countryside. Seeking SWM, 60-75, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clean-cut, N/S, N/D, with similar qualities, for friendship first, possible LTR. 313785



PETITE BLONDE Educated and attractive, downto-earth WF would like to meet someone who shares some of my interests like metal music, concerts, learning and more. If you have an open mind, I definitely want to hear from your. 35-50. 314433



LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MEET FOR DINNER SWF, 49, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, H/W proportionate, blondish-brown layered hair, big blue eyes, downto-earth, mellow, nice, kind, sweet, considerate, laid-back, seeks SM, 35-55, who has a good sense of humor. I enjoy cats, beaches, hiking, camping, movies. 310278



LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MEET AND TALK SWF, 39, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, loves music, dancing. Looking for a social SWM, mid 40s, for friendship first. 318133



LOOKING FOR A FRIEND SAF,48,5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, looking for a friend who will eventually become my partner in life. 318943



PRETTY & SLENDER Bright and youthful SWF, 50+, enjoys listening to or playing music, travel, playing at the beach, and dating. Seeking nice-looking, kind, intelligent SM, 50s plus or minus, with sense-of-humor, financially secure, to share fun indoors and out, concerts and movies, dining out and walks, cozy fireplaces and sometimes campfires. 303711



LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GO OUT & HAVE FUN! Honest woman, 50s, very caring, compassionate, kind, my interests are long drives, walks, dancing, visiting new places, dinners. Seeking nice SM, 50s60s, for LTR. 297169



A BIG HEART Caring, loving SF, 39, movies, the outdoors, Looking for SW/HM, for friendship, maybe 305007



enjoys travel. 39-50, more.

GOOD VALUES Shy, friendly, caring, compassionate SF, 60s, nurturing, motivated, enjoys walks, the beach, coffee shops, biking, dining, seeks similar man, 60+, for friendship leading to LTR. 301544



PERSONABLE Compassionate, bright, friendly female, 40s, likes music, dancing, dining, biking, coffee shops. Seeking similar male, 50s, for LTR. 302304

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LOOKING FOR LTR Outdoorsy, health-minded, clean-cut, honest woman in her 30s, who enjoys biking, dining, shopping, the beach, hiking, taking walks, wants to meet a male in his 30s for LTR. 309772



CAPTIVATING! Adorable, hard-working, classy female, 50s, enjoys museums, shopping, travel, coffee shops, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, casual relationship, or LTR. 309776



A CARING HEART Outdoorsy, flexible, nurturing, feminine woman, 50s, likes camping, long drives, travel, coffee shops, taking walks. Seeking male, 40-59, for LTR. 309777



GOOD VALUES Caring, personable, compassionate, classy, hard-working female, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, reading, museums, dining, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, possibly more. 309780



WAITING ARMS Caring, educated, honest, optimistic, hard-working SF, 30s, enjoys travel, dining out, long drives, the beach, reading, walks, hiking, music and more. Would like to meet like-minded man, 30-40, for LTR. 313123



TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Motivated, outdoorsy, honest, health-conscious woman, with good values and optimistic attitude, likes most kinds of music, dining out, walks, camping, travel and relaxing time at home. Seeking a nice, honest, active man, 30-40, with similar interests, to spend time with, possible leading to LTR. 313124



MANY FINE QUALITIES Caring, outdoorsy, honest, artistic, hard-working SF, early 50s, optimistic homebody with good values, has many interests including music, dining out, museums, travel, long drives, reading, walks, camping, biking and more. Looking for an honest, down-to-earth SM, 50-70, for friendship and dating first, possibly leading to something more serious. 313126

COMPASSIONATE Friendly, honest, artistic, outdoorsy, caring SF, 30s, likes watching tv, dancing, the beach, travel, walks, music, hiking, museums, dining out, more. Searching for a partner in life, 30-50, for possible LTR. 313131



OUTGOING AND FUN Compassionate, caring, friendly, honest SF, 20s, likes going to clubs, camping, hiking, reading, the beach, dining out, more. Looking for a down-toearth, easygoing man, 22-35, for LTR. 313136





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ADORABLE AND BRIGHT Caring, friendly, goal-oriented, feminine, honest, compassionate woman, 60s, likes travel, exercise, music, hiking, long drives, dining out, the beach, reading and more. Seeking a great companion, 50-70, to share these activities and quiet times with. 313128

SEEKING LTR Honest, compassionate, artistic, friendly, goal-oriented, caring SF, 50s, health-minded with good values, into music, the beach, dancing, tv, travel, museums, walks, reading and more. Would like to meet SM, around the same age, for companionship. 313139







LIKE PBS? Personable, caring, goal-oriented friendly, artistic, compassionate woman, with good values, likes coffee shops, music, reading, walks, travel, dancing, dining out and more. Looking for honest, respectful man, 5070, for LTR. 313143



Men Seeking Women HANDSOME BM... 65, seeks female for fun-loving adventures and relaxation. I love cooking, surprises, and giving gifts. 302811



LONG HAIR A PLUS Good-looking Native American male, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;8â&#x20AC;?, 220lbs, long hair, in search of a Hispanic or Native American woman, 50s, for friendship first and companionship. 304173



SEEKING AN OPEN MIND SBM, 33, 250lbs, smoker, enjoys cars, long walks, working out. Looking for SF, 20-65, kids ok, for possible relationship. 304990





FRIENDS OR MORE Nurturing, artistic, bright, hardworking, compassionate, feminine female in her 50s, enjoys music, dancing, travel, the beach, kayaking, dining, taking walks. Seeking male, 50-69, for friendship with the possibility of more. 309768



ONE HONEST WOMAN LEFT Bright SF, 60s, with good values, flexible and honest, likes reading, camping, travel, taking walks. Seeking similar male, 50-69, for friendship, casual relationship, possible LTR. 309769



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SHARED JOY SWM, 59, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;9â&#x20AC;?, 160lbs, nicelooking, with good SOH, seeking woman to have fun with, race/age unimportant. I like dancing, partying, shows and dining out. Call me! 972627



LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CONNECT SM, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;2â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 220lbs, athletic, outgoing, loves the outdoors. Looking for similar SW/AF, 18-55, for fun and friendship. 324795



LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MEET FOR COFFEE Single white male, 76, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, fun-loving family man, likes camping, boating, etc. Looking for a similar woman, 68-73. No drugs. 323442



HAPPILY EVER AFTER Single white male, 46, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;11â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 190lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, Aquarius, interested in music, film, literature. Seeking the real deal, the storybook, the fairy tale princess. 323596



NO GAMES OR DRAMA WM, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 190lbs, brownish-gray, hazel, goatee, loves playing pool, the outdoors, football, trying new things. Looking for a lady, 25-55, who wants to meet a nice guy. 323674



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SHY AND ARTISTIC Single female in her 50s looking for a male who enjoys music, television. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meet and see if we connect! 308997

PACIFIC NORTHWEST Casual guy, enjoys mountain and beach trips, walks, outdoors, moonlit nights, cuddling. Seeking SWF, 40-56, slim/medium build, to come spend quiet times in Pacific Northwest. 954499

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LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315052



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COOKING FOR YOU! SWM, 62, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10â&#x20AC;?, 170lbs, N/S, light drinker, clean shaven, hazel eyes, self-employed, loves cooking, jazz and traveling. Seeking a similar woman, 5080, race unimportant, for possible LTR. 318883



ONE GOOD MAN LEFT SHM, 32, N/S, likes soccer, running. In search of SA/BF for friendship first possibly leading to more. 319059



JUST MOVED HERE SWM, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;7â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 190lbs, brown eyes, wants to meet soulmate in similar SF, 30-55. I love swing dancing, travel, gourmet cooking, animals, nature. 305800



SOMEONE LIKE ME SWM, youthful 51, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;11â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 200lbs, dark hair, hazel eyes, looking for a lady, 40-59, who likes to party, is outgoing, adventurous. 319319



EASY ON THE EYES Outgoing, good-looking WM, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 175lbs, salt-n-pepper/blue, good sense of humor, spontaneous, romantic, adventurous, likes weekend getaways, concerts and more. Seeking honest, appreciative woman, 22-65, who has goals in life. 320839



JACK OF HEARTS Handsome dude, 57, good SOH, interesting, spontaneous, fun, adventuresome, looking for attractive woman. I enjoy dancing, concerts, dining out, hiking, beach combing and holding hands also loves animals, dogs, cats and horses. Happy trails! 201639



SEEKING A REAL WOMAN WM, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 200lbs, blond/blue, a few tattoos, very athletic, loves the beach, bike rides, romantic evenings at home, great conversation. Seeking honest woman, 18-50, no games. 322539



COLLEGE PROF-SUMMERS OFF! Tall, dark, handsome, positive, athletic SM, 60, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, 200lbs, looks 45, feels 35, loves life! A seafood vegetarian, non-smoker and light drinker. Loves the outdoors, hiking, walking, mountain biking, tennis, acoustic music, volunteer work, walks on the beach, traveling, long road trips, cuddling, spending time with someone special. 322787



Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M NOT THE GUY... ...for long walks on the beach, dancing the night away. Retiree, 48, moderately disabled with MS, SSU grad, into jazz, films, progressive talk radio. San Francisco native seeks caring, happy lady, 40-50, for companionship. N/S. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a good listener, talk to me. Tell me about yourself. 219612



ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White Guidelines:BohemianRomanceisacommunitypublication.ParticipantsintheBohemianRomancemust be 18 years or older. Use of Bohemian Romance for any illegal purpose will be subject to prosecution. Bohemian Romanceisnotliableforthecontentofthepersonalsadvertisementsortheresponsetosuchadvertisements.BohemianRomance encourages readers to take appropriate safeguards when responding to personal and arrangingmeetings.Screenallrespondentscarefully.Meetingswithnew companions should occur in public places and participants should not divulge their addresses. Be smart, not sorry. Notallboxescontainavoicegreeting.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235

(with credit card or check)

Only $2.29 per minute â&#x20AC;˘ 18 and up â&#x20AC;˘ Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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SANTA ROSA’S

Adult Entertainment

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Quality and Maturity

Kara, in Marin. Call for photos. Please, no calls from blocked phone numbers. No calls after midnight. 415/233-2769.

SINGLES!

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THE BOHEMIAN

BOHEMIANROMANCE To become a member, call To listen & respond to ads, call

1 900.287.1222

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1 800.273.8235

Call costs $2.19/min. Must be 18+

For customer service, email bohemian@ placepersonal.com, or call 1-617-450-8773

Men Seeking Women WELL-TRAVELED WRITER Sensitive, compassionate, honest WM, warm, open, considered attractive, wonderful listener, quiet entertaining, likes most kinds of movies, music, travel, more. Seeking WF, 5271, for possible relationship. 323098



LOVES HORSES Healthy senior WM, 165lbs, N/S, loves animals, especially horses, theater, PBS. Seeking slender female for romance. 302170



ARE YOU THE ONE? Bright, artistic, caring, flexible, adorable guy, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, the beach, dining out. Looking for similar female. 302306



LET’S HAVE FUN! SHM, 34, N/S, no children, looking for a SH/WF, 24-32, for dating, possibly more. 302392



FUN, INTROSPECTIVE SWM, 52, 6’4’’, in good shape, likes classic movies, reading, hiking, classical music, sailing, the outdoors, travel, the symphony. Looking for SF, 22-50, similar interests. 301801



STARTING OVER Separated WM, loves hockey, the outdoors, golf, staying in and watching movies, gardening and more. Would like to meet someone fun who wants to enjoy life. Call me and lift my spirits. 282029



GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR SWM, 59, 5’11’’, 180lbs, nonsmoker, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, enjoys fishing, beaches, dining out and more. Seeking female, 55-65, for possible relationship. 309857



FRIEND LOVER SOULMATE SWPJM, 56, 5’10”, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, kind, passionate, artistic, sincere, committed and fun, enjoys ocean walks, travel, arts, food, wine and nature. Seeking SF, 50-62, kindred spirit, kind, soft, sensuous, for life’s adventures together. 309779



SOPHISTICATED Caring, compassionate, hardworking, goal-oriented, artistic SM, 40s, likes camping, dancing, travel. Searching for similar male, 30s, for LTR. 301536



LTR AND LOVE IN BOOTS Italian Taurus, SM, 45, 6’, 218lbs, N/S, N/Drugs, N/D, long hair, educated, published, financially/ emotionally secure, respectful, inspiring, tender, great sense of humor, enjoys alternative music, dancing, movies, animals, cooking, conversation, mountains. Seeking thin, dancing SWF, 18-33, in boots for LTR. 315055



LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE SM, 20s, bright, artistic, ambitious, optimistic, personable, likes dining, travel, the beach, walking, exercise. Seeking female, 20s, for possible relationship. 318319



COMPASSIONATE SM, 60s, with good values, likes camping, dancing, dining, reading, hiking, walking, biking. Looking for SF, 50s, for LTR. 318320



KISSING & CUDDLING Single man in Sonoma County, extremely romantic, looking for an equally romantic partner. I love soft kisses, snuggling on the couch, and making you laugh! 315225



LOOKING FOR A SF WHO... is independent, confident and takes care of herself. I like good movies, dressing up for a nice dinner out, skiing, bike rides, hiking, scuba diving, swing dancing, cooking. I’m an honest person who doesn’t believe in playing games. 301540



READY FOR LTR Shy, friendly, caring, cleancut, classy SM, 50s, enjoys music, camping, travel, long drives, hiking, beaches, seeks similar woman, 30-50, for LTR. 302300



LOOKING FOR LTR Hard-working, healthy, personable, honest, compassionate man, 40s, likes camping, travel, hiking, long drives, beaches. In search of similar female, 30s, for friendship leading to LTR. 302302



SOMETIMES MISCHIEVOUS Optimistic, honest, clean-cut, caring, outdoorsy man, 50s, likes music, walks, long drives, running, watching tv, museums, dining out. Seeking SF, 50s, for companionship. 313135



FRIENDSHIP FIRST Caring, honest, nurturing SM, 60s, enjoys music, watching tv, walks, camping, coffee shops, hiking and museums. Looking for SF, 30-70, for dating possibly leading to LTR. 313144



Men Seeking Men LOOKING FOR LOVE Seeking one man to love and care for completely and forever. Me: SBM, 50ish, affectionate, supportive, genuine, lots to offer. You: just be yourself, imperfect, mature older man, 70-90, with some humor, some laughter. Are you the one? 299175



COMPASSIONATE GUY Hard-working, classy, clean-cut, caring, honest male in search of a male, 58-69, who likes night clubs, television, travel, dancing, the beach, taking walks, exercise. 308996



Women Seeking Women WHERE ARE YOU? You are 35-45, very feminine, dark, mystical, spiritual, with a sense of humor, know what you like, and want to enjoy life, but not alone. I’m trying to find you, where are you? 310085



LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 41, Santa Rosa area, looking for a SWF, 30-45, to hang out and have fun with. 318644



NATURE LOVER Health-conscious, honest, wise, spiritual, artistic, friendly female, 50s, enjoys philosophy, psychology, walking, reading, the beach. Searching for similar female, 50s, for long-term relationship. 302296



Alternative Lifestyles SPANK YOU VERY MUCH Woman, thou shalt be spanked. Gentle or hard, clothed or naked, whatever you deserve, by a sexy man who knows how to do it. 288495



DISCREET ENCOUNTER BiHM, 50, 5’6”, 180lbs, nonsmoker, seeking males, females or couples to have some hot fun and more. 324668



COUPLE SEEKS WOMAN Very attractive, middle-aged, married white couple, she’s 5’2”, 125lbs, 34D. He is 5’11”, 172lbs. Both and very sensual and she is multi-orgasmic. We are N/S, light drinkers, heal-conscious, pleasant, non-pushy. Please be N/S, H/W proportionate, white, Hispanic or Asian, under 55. Bi or bi-curious ok. Discretion assured. Let’s have fun. 314002



WHATEVER YOU DECIDE! SM, 5’11’’, 170lbs, light brown hair, blue eyes, athletic build, shaved, smooth and sexy, wellendowed, into a wide variety of pleasures. Anything goes; role play, fantasy fulfillment, toys, porn, lingerie. Seeking couples and females to party and play. 316161



TURN THE TABLES Handsome, sane, married WM, 57 is looking for a woman, who knows how to use a strap on, for ongoing, mostly daytime play. I will please you in any way that you want and I take directions well. 318288



GREAT LEGS! Tall, slender cross-dresser, very nice legs, looking for men or a group of men. Give me a call, let’s have some fun! 318996



BD/SM SWM, submissive, wants one or two females or young male for BD/SM, watersports, torture, anal. Never did any of this before, but curious to try now! 319455



LET’S HAVE FUN SM, 38, 6’2”, 200lbs, looking for a top or couples to get together and share good times with. 324363

SEEKING COUPLES Good-looking bi male, 50, would like to meet bi man/woman couples for erotic interlude. 319986

JOIN US Bi couple looking for a stud, a muffin or both. Satisfaction guaranteed. 323336

TRIPLE PLAY Handsome, easygoing, discreet, polite gentleman, 57, enjoys couples. I am a WM, 6’, 190lbs, athletic build, well hung and Bi. I also like dominant women. 232423





SANTA ROSA AREA WM, 41, looking for open-minded people who enjoy adult fun. I like adult movies, toys and looking for a couples and females. I can be orally bi depending on the chemistry. 323130



CALL ME BiWM, handyman artist in Marin, 52, 5’6”, 180lbs, dirty blond hair, pale blue eyes, seeks couple or singles for fun in Marin or nearby. 293610



STRAIGHTFORWARD FUN SWM, 39, looking for SF, 18-50, who likes to try new things and isn’t afraid of having a little fun! 304707



JOIN US White couple looking for a female, 18-25, for fun, discreet times together. Give us a call. 311573



READY FOR FUN? SWM, 30, feminine bottom, looking for a top WM, 20-60, for good times and fun. Let’s see where it goes! 311892



SHE-MALE SEEKS GOOD TIMES Want to spend time with a man or a woman. I am very affectionate, beautiful, and love to be held. Interested? 279657



KEEP IT DISCREET WF, 30s, dark/dark, light complexion, fun-loving, bi-curious, seeks discreet female, 28-55, to have fun and party with. 314779



866.689.5312



18+



LET’S HAVE SOME FUN Male looking for an older gentleman, 35-65, to teach me the ropes. I haven’t been with too many people. I like watching adult movies and trying new things. 321782

Get ready to meet someone special.



Missed Connections AMAZON KINDLE Hello, I met you Friday June 27 at the Russian River Brewing Company on Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. She may be a computer programmer from St. Helena Hospital and watched on this day 3 movies back to back in the theater on Fourth St. in the town of Santa Rosa The Love Guru by Mike Meyers, Wall-E and another film. And she sipped a little beer and read from her Amazon kindle. I would like to get in touch with this girl and ask her to edit my book. She is a perfect candidate for my book. Hope to hear from you. Phil. 274972



CORINA IN OLIVER’S Saturday at 4:00PM, You had 15-year-old twins with blacks belts in karate. I have two cute little kids. We talked about children and kale. Lunch? 311695



call 1.800.214.3435

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THE BOHEMIAN

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BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS Placing an Ad

â?ś Employment

â?š Professional Services

â?¸ Computer Market

â&#x17E;? Real

â?ˇ For Sale

â&#x17E;&#x17D; Music Scene

Estate

â?ź Family Services â&#x17E;&#x2018; Home Services

§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m. â&#x2C6;&#x161; By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

g Employment Jobs

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

g Career Development

Earn $75-$200 Hour Media Makeup Artist Training. Ads, TV, film, fashion. One week class. Stable job in

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weak economy. Details at Sears. It is medium size and is www.AwardMadeUpSchool.co brown with black trim. $30. m 310/364-0665. (AAN CAN) Estate Sales

**BODYGUARDS WANTED** FREE Training & Job Placement Assistance for members. No Experience OK. Excellent potential $$$. Full & Part Time. Traveling expenses paid..1-615-228-1701. www.psubodyguards.com swww.psubodyguards.com (AAN CAN)

New & Used CoinOp Cocktail Arcade Games

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Get Dish-Free Installation $19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy! Call now for details: 877/242-0974. (AAN CAN)

gg For Sale Appliances

Goldstar Microwave I bought the Goldstar at

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Will Buy Your: Pre 1964 Silver Coins or Bars Cold Hard Cash for your coins and bars. Call me night and day! (415) 261-8511

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â&#x2030;&#x2C6; Deadline Fridays, 2:00pm DONE! 707-794-7955 www.goebelbuilders.com

Miscellaneous

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$19.99 per month. HBO & Showtime Free. Over 50 HD Channels Free. Lowest Prices no equipment to buy! Call now for details: 877/238-8413. (AAN CAN)

Sleek Office Space Dividers Available! Office/Space Dividers Blonde Finish 7 L Shaped Dividers 4 Ft. High, x 3 Ft. Width x 5.5 Ft. Width Offered @ $600 per divider or Best Offer for the lot. Located @ 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Call 707.527.1200 ext. 201 or email rolson@bohemian.com

Hand Blown Glass Art Makes a Great Gift Made by Local artists, One of a kind glass art pieces at incredible prices. Only at Tama Ramaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in Downtown Cotati. 8252 Old Redwood Hwy, Cotati (707) 795-1425

Computer Market MacAdvantage Macintosh FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Hardware/ Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email,Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam NguyenChief Tech, M-F 10-6 info@themacadvantage.com 707.664.0400

BUSINESS CARDS â&#x20AC;˘ BROCHURES

Green Earth Catering Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager. 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

g Music Scene Bands

Professional Services

Lil Wayne, E-40, Snoop Dog, San Quinn

gg Vacation Rentals

Clearlake, Ca.

g Real Estate Rentals

Jay Goebel General Contractor, Lic. #812957 Quality Workmanship, Friendly Service, and Dependability You Can Trust. Insured with Local references. Repairs, Custom Builds, and Troubleshooting Call today and get the job

Shared Housing

ALL AREAS - RENTMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Rentmates.com. (AAN CAN)

Singles Parties

Family Services

Your Personality Determines Your Happiness

g

Know why? Call for your free personality test. Call 1-800-293-6463

ADULTS OF ALL AGES WELCOME!

general marketing materials

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12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Love is Born- a

g Miscellaneous

Gain National Exposure Reach over 5 million young, active, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202/289-8484. (AAN CAN)

g Remodeling & Repair

4/@E3AB@3AB=@/B7=<A 1=<AB@C1B7=< Try Rancho Bodega Â&#x2019;1O`^S\b`g>OW\bW\U School - Small Group/ Â&#x2019;0O[P]]4Z]]`W\U Â&#x2019;>Zc[PW\U3ZSQb`WQOZ One on One Instruction Â&#x2019;;Oa]\`gBWZS1]\Q`SbS Enriched Middle/High Â&#x2019;ASWa[WQ@Sb`]TWbbW\U Â&#x2019;@]]T@S^OW`aA]ZO` School Curriculum - Special  1]ObW\U Studies/Independent Study Â&#x2019;>`Saac`SEOaVW\U Â&#x2019;5cbbS`1ZSO\W\U Emphasizing Music & Art Â&#x2019;B`SSB`W[[W\U Serving Grades 7-12 %% &"&' NOW ENROLLING !! Âľ8c\UZS8W[Âś9S\\SRg Call 707-795-7166 www.ranchobodegaschool. CUSTOM PAINTING com All The Best For Your Home!!

FLYERS â&#x20AC;˘ PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION

schaumann1@earthlink.net

Announcements

Sunset Fishing Resort. 2-1 cappella menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lakeside Bedroom Cabins ensemble and 2-2 Lakeside Bedroom Cabins. Call 707-994-6642. christmas concert Please visit our website: Dec 19 at 7pm Christmas picwww.sunsetfishingresort.com nic - bring your dinner, snacks and holiday cheer to enjoy during the performance. $15 Adults, students FREE! with ID Venue & tickets info www.musaicsf.org/ 415-475-5000

POSTERS â&#x20AC;˘ T-SHIRTS â&#x20AC;˘ CD COVERS

Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

ph: 707.527.1200 fax: 707.527.1288

Thug World Records explosive Classes & Instruction label features lil Wayne Snoop dog E-40 G-unit and Golden Star Grafix more. Free Downloads, MP3s, High School Diploma! Need a quality designer? Fast, affordable and RingTones, videos. Business cards, brochures, accredited. Free brochure. Call www.thugworldrecords.com flyers, posters, digital collage, Now!. 1-888-532-6546 ext. 97 408-561-1255 cd covers, photographic www.continentalacademy.com restoration, general (AAN CAN) marketing materials. Youth Failing School Mark Schaumann or School Failing 707-795-0924, Our Youth ? schaumann1@earthlink.net

Goebel Builders

Q UALITY G RAPHIC D ESIGN

Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m.

â&#x2C6;? In Person Visit our office Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. at 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa

1O:WQS\aS%#$&'

Classified Index

Christmas Mixer

New Years Eve Bash

Thursday, December 17, 7-9pm, Last Day Saloon $10 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa

Thursday, December 31, 9-1am, Grille 101 at Embassy Suites Hotel $20 101 McInnis, San Rafael

CO-SPONSORED by Bohemian Romance and Society of Single Professionals INFO at www. ThePartyHotline.com or 415-507-9962

Interior & Exterior Custom Painting & StainingCabinet refinishing, wall paper stripping, drywall patching, cedar siding, epoxy garage floors, pressure washing, decks. Owner on all jobs. Licensed, Bonded, Insured, Local References. CSLB#888479. Call Cotterill Custom Painting: 707-528-6832/ 707-396-6402

HEALTH&WELL-BEING g Healing & Bodywork

Lily Spa RELAX Asian Massage Thai • Deep Tissue Swedish • Hot Stone 1 HR/$65 90 MIN/$100 walk-ins or appt

707.528.2540 3401 Cleveland Ave #2 Santa Rosa

Windsor: 4 Men

Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Tibetan Cranial Yoga Therapy, Ayurveda and Reiki treatments. Gift certificates available. Christmas Specials. www.anandawellness.org 707-579-1546

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Petaluma Lavender Day Spa Opening Special

$55 includes FREE Table Shower & Finnish Sauna

707.782.9898 131 Liberty St, Ste. D

A Provider of Pleasure

Massage 4 Men

by Ron,

CMT ›JXk`]jp`e^=lcc9f[p ›Jn\[`j_&;\\gK`jjl\ ›JkXik`e^Xk$+,&_i ›Gi`mXk\Jkl[`f Schedule Online

QuietMassage.com Santa Rosa 8 am – 8 p m (.'. ,*-$((*-

Relaxing Massage First time $45/hr. www.garywtmassage.com, Gary, CMT. 707-235-5423

RELAX! Relaxing massage and bodywork by male massage therapist with 10 yrs experience. 707-542-6856

In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a “mature”, compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.

Exquisite holiday pampering is yours with my full-body DEEP pain-relieving massage. 707-824-8700 or google search “James Dickson Massage Calendar” for pics & availability.

Therapeutic Massage 1111 Sonoma Ave. Suite 208, Santa Rosa, (The Surgical Center) Debbie (707) 776-473

Deep Relaxing Full Body Massage

To total Completion by a mature male $40/hour. Napa By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub Valley location. Roger and pool available. Will do 707-525-1771. outcalls. 707-228-6883.

30 yrs experience. Excellent Rates! 1/2 hour, hour or 90 mins. Colin, CMT 707-8232990.

Man of Your Dreams Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

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Guerneville M4M Massage

g

Mitch, CMT. Mature. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private discrete studio. 707-849-7409 Psychics

Take Care of Yourself

Madame Lisa. Truly gifted adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. Call for Appointment 707-542-9898

Affordable Therapeutic Massage CMT offers great Swedish Massage at Chiropractor`s office. Downtown Santa Rosa. Mary 707-228-3275.

Men`s Massage for Pleasure and Health Total relaxation $50/hr John (707)-536-1516 Santa Rosa www.completebodybalance. com

$40 Half Hour Massage Holiday Stress Relief Special For first time clients by Male CMT. 707-766-8269

Ayurvedic

Indian Head Massage • relief from tension headaches, eyestrain, and sinusitis

With a deeply relaxing, pampering, sensual, massage. Holiday Special. CMT in Santa Rosa. Call Bliss 415/717-9378.

• improves mobility in neck and shoulders

MEN! Get a Massage

Margery Smith 707.578.9642

the way you like it. Swedish and deep tissue techniques. Relaxing and rejuvenating. Flexible schedule for your

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Psychic Palm and Card Reader

SEBASTOPOL MASSAGE FOR GUYS

Great Massage

Strong Thorough and Intuitive

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• balances energy

Grand Opening

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n

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NOW OPEN Therapeutic Massage Center Boody Massage $55/hr Open 7 days 9-10pm

707.578.3088

Foot Massage $19.99/45 min 2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

49

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50

12.02.09-12.08.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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g Pet Services

ANIMAL LOVERS You can make a difference. People for Animal Liberation (PAL) in Sonoma County advocates for animals. More info email: jasminethevegan@yahoo.com

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Place your pet related ad here today! Call 707.527.1200

$100

off

35 years training experience

Doggie Boot Camp or

3 private sessions for $200 (reg $240)

Guest on the Discovery Channel’s K-9 Cops for his expertise Obedience training the natural way

exp. 12/31/09

10 acres of safe, country training grounds

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E^hXZh '$&.Ä($'% L]^iZ YlVg[h VgZ hbVaa VcY ZmigZbZan YZchZ hiVgh# I]ZnÉgZ ine^XVaan cd W^\\Zg i]Vc :Vgi] Wji Vh ]ZVkn Vh i]Z hjc# Ndj XjggZcian ]VkZ V gZhZbWaVcXZ id dcZ d[ i]dhZ XdcXZcigViZY WVaah d[ ejgZ ^ciZch^in# > ]VkZ gVgZan hZZc ndj d[[Zg^c\ hd bjX] WVc\ [dg i]Z WjX`# Ndj VgZ Vh [aVkdg[ja Vh X]dXdaViZ bdjhhZ! Vh e^ZgX^c\ Vh i]Z hXZci d[ ZjXVaneijh! Vh ajhigdjh Vh V [^gZldg`h Y^heaVn dc V bddcaZhh c^\]i# EZghdcVaan! >Éb fj^iZ ViigVXiZY id ndjg hVjXn VcY oZhin ZbVcVi^dch! VcY > i]^c` bdhi eZdeaZ l^i] higdc\ Z\dh l^aa WZ# 7ji hdbZ jcYZgVX]^ZkZgh l^i] adlZg hZa["ZhiZZb bVn gZ\VgY ndj Vh WZ^c\ bdgZ a^`Z Vhig^c\Zci bZY^X^cZ# Bn VYk^XZ/ <gVk^iViZ idlVgY i]dhZ l]d a^`Z ndj id WZ edlZg[ja# In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. To buy access, go to www.realastrology.com. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888 or 1.900.950.7700.

Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11am

Exceptional for aggression issues Strong leadership skills taught for owners

707-322-3272 www.incrediblecanine.com

WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa

Meet I Claudius • Kitty of the Week I CLAUDIUS! This gorgeous 12 year old Himalayan is a gentleman of the highest quality. Beneath his beautiful coat, he has a quiet, gentle demeanor, a low-maintenance personality simply looking for a comfy spot to rest and a human companion with whom to share. To learn more about adopting I Claudius or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online. The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

Meet Cheddar • Doggie of the Week

Meet Colchas • Doggie of the Week

HI, I'M CHEDDAR Although I'm not yet aged to perfection, I'm well on my way to being the cutest – and sweetest – 1 year old Beagle mix around. If you can be patient with me, we can learn together – and I promise to try really, really hard. One thing I know I can do is love you with all my heart! Can you do the same for me? To learn more about adopting Cheddar or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

HI, I'M COLCHAS but you can call me CoCo; all my friends do! I am an active 3-year old Poodle mix with a lot of charm. I like to go exploring, see new things and meet new people. I really like to chase those cat things so it would be best if there aren't any in my new home. I'll even let you dress me up for outing's but let's not get too carried away, OK? To learn more about adopting Colchas or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us or check us out online.

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

BOHEMIAN FLIPSIDE

To place your ad call 707.527.1200

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B SANTA ROSA 707.576.0818 www.srtp.net

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS Finding inspiration and connecting with your community The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness Reading room, art gallery, prayer/ meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121 Santa Rosa Shambhala Meditation Center Free instruction and practice opportunities Tuesday 4:30-5:30 PM, Wednesday 7 PM, Sunday 10 AM - 11:15 AM. www.santarosa.shambhala.org

Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8:45pm Prayers for World Peace, Sun, 10:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11:45am Everyone welcome. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North, Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

s 3UBUTEX3UBOXONE AVAILABLE s 0ROVIDING 4REATMENT SINCE  s #ONFIDENTIALITY ASSUREd

Golden Star Grafix

Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager. 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

MacAdvantage Macintosh Computer Repair FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Answer Calls, Hardware/Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email, Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6. [ mail to:info@themacadvantage.com ] 707.664.0400, info@themacadvantage.com

R

eichian therapy is a non-verbal â&#x20AC;&#x153;breathingâ&#x20AC;? therapy. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an effective way to free blocked energies, release anger and reawaken to your natural vitality and pleasure through the breathing, movement and sounds of Reichian sessions.

Michele T. Newmark, M.S., D.D., A.C.S., has been involved in the study of human sexuality for over 30 years. Santa Rosa: 707-538-3778 SF: 415-775-6145 www.thecenter-sf.org â&#x20AC;˘ michelet@sonic.net

Stony Point Rd.

#

Dutton Ave.

Corby Auto Row

HWY 101

â&#x20AC;˘ Call for our current specials â&#x20AC;˘ Month to Month Availability â&#x20AC;˘ Boxes, Packaging & Moving Supplies â&#x20AC;˘ Residential & Commercial â&#x20AC;˘ Professional On-site Managers

707-546-0000 707-578-3299

Hearn Rd.

Standish Ave

Storage Master Self Storage

Bellevue

Todd Rd.

Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

Come alive to your sexuality & joy of lifeâ&#x20AC;Ś

Green Earth Catering

Rohnert Park

Share your organizationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly!

Reichian Therapy

Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

W. Robles

6th Annual JCC Meditation Retreat Bittul haYesh: Uncovering the Authentic Self. ALL WELCOME in spiritual practices of meditation, sacred Hebrew chant, mystical storytelling, yoga, nature, more. Dec 4-6, Petaluma.www.jccsoco.org/meditation or call (707) 528-4222 x 330

We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and Heroin utilizing replacement medications. We also treat Methamphetamine and other stimulant dependence.

3205 Dutton Avenue

Santa Rosa

Advent Reflections: A Candlelight Contemplative Gathering 1435 Sebastopol Road

Each Sunday in Advent, we gather from 7:00-8:00 p.m. to create space in this busy season for encountering God and receiving the gifts of joy, peace and hope. All are welcome for this time of music and prayerful meditation. Journey Center, Santa Rosa, 707-578-2121, www.journeycenter.org.

Advertise all your business needs here. Call 707.527.1200 Sales@bohemian.com

THE BOHEMIAN

12.02.09-12.08.09

51

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SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B, Santa Rosa

Your Family Story in Video

Relapse Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Mean Failure

Golden Star Grafix

MEDICAL MARIJUANA EVALUATIONS

Award-winning Filmmakers create a treasured family legacy. www.sideshowvideo.com or 707-280-8014.

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Spirits of the Earthâ&#x20AC;? sculpture art opening

Photography by Paul Burke

Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

Affordable, Professional, & Trusted. Appt. within 1 week GUARANTEED!! Call (707) 568-0420 24/7 Verification www.GREEN215.com

707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

THRIVE HYDROPONICS

D.G. Sculpture Studio Gallery presents new sculptures inspired by his travels in Peru. Opening Dec. 12, 2-7pm. Show thru Jan. 7. 25A Maxwell Ct, Santa Rosa. 707-546-1541. dgsculpture@comcast.net info www.danielgraham.com

Your House & Garden Specialists. Competitive Prices, Expert Knowledge, Great Location Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed! 70 A West North Street Healdsburg CA 707-433-4068

Your Personality Determines Your Happiness

NEW LOCATION! 208 Davis Street., Railroad Square 707546-4021. ALWAYS BUYING!

SKIRT CHASER VINTAGE

Know why? Call for your free personality test. Call 1-800-293-6463

Donate Your Auto 800.380.5257 We do all DMV. Free pick up- running or not (restrictions apply). Live operators- 7 days! Help the Polly Klaas Foundation provide safety information and assist families in bringing kids home safely.

SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal!

Medicann - Med. Marijuana Evaluations

Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job!

New Cotati Office Now Open. 866-632-6627 Free I.D. card. 24/7 verification. Doctor/patient confidentiality. Lic. MD. Discount for MediCal, MediCare and Vets.

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help.(707) 576-0818.

Buy only cage-free eggs... Check out why at www.compassionatecarnivores.org/chicken.html

Medical Marijuana Certifications

Northstone

$125, 707.575.7375

ORGANICS

"Mendocino County's Original"

Browse, Test Drive, Purchase the Car â&#x20AC;Śof Your Dreams! You deserve the attention. Outstanding owner service. Luxury vehicles for market prices.

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WWW.NORTHSTONEORGANICS.COM

707-485-8814

Owner Jesus Ochoa 27 years

Vendors Needed

Green Earth Catering

For Holidaze Boutique at Crosswalk Community Church, 445 South Mary Avenue, Sunnyvale. Date: Dec 5 and 6, 9am to 5pm. Email: pgraves@crosswalkchruch.com for information and application or call 408-736-3120.

Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cellredgore23@aol.com

* For qualified patients only. Valid California I.D. and Doctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recommendation required.

HAVING A BAD DAY? EVERYDAY? Are your decisions mistreating YOU? NO job, NO family, wrong friendsâ&#x20AC;Ś feeling helpless and hopeless. WE CAN HELP! Please call 707.544.3295 today or visit www.daacinfo.org

Quality

MOTORS LLC

www.autotrader.com click on Quality Motors, LLC 2620 Santa Rosa Ave, Santa Rosa | 707.569.7437

Turning Point Residential Program â&#x20AC;˘ 30 to 270 days of treatment â&#x20AC;˘ Opiate Treatment Track â&#x20AC;˘ NEW Payment Plan

A F F O R DA B L E â&#x20AC;˘ CO N F I D E N T I A L â&#x20AC;˘ 3 5 Y E A R S E X P E R I E N C E


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