METRO ANE 02.03.2010
Dallas/Fort Worth METROplex's ADULT Arts News & Entertainment Weekly Magazine.
BRANDON’S BIRTHDAY BASH AT PANDORA’S MEN’S CLUB METRO ANE MAGAZINE Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 2 was in it for the long haul, perhaps because she was to inebriated to move, and thus there seemed to be no chance of her leaving early. Lucky me. Drunks are always obnoxious, but there are some places where they are definitely more difficult to be around than others. I recently went to see one of my favorite stand up comedians, Joe Rogan. As guests go on my radio show, Rogan is one of he ones that I look most forward to having. In fact, if I could create an all time most well rounded panel of my previous guests to feature on some sort of all star dream team segment, Joe Rogan would have a seat at the table right next to Henry Rollins and Penn Jillette. The guy can talk about any subject, making it always engaging and frequently funny. So, you can see why I might like it if the people around me would stay quiet on one of the few nights out of the year that I get to enjoy Joe Rogan on stage live. Almost everybody was cool about it. I had Joe on my show, focusing on the Ultimate Fighting card that he would be commentating on over the weekend. See, I told you…well rounded. We also spent some time discussing the conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked. At his gig, the show room was an overflow crowd. I saw her as soon as we sat down. At the table right next to us, weaving in her chair, completely disregarding her inside voice. She was rip roaring drunk, and it was 7:30 on a Sunday night…the lord’s day. Joe Rogan had two opening acts, and Lady Lush was kind enough to favor those of us within earshot and beyond with her own special brand of running commentary. She Always on the lookout for show content, I made a mental note to present this scenario as a call in topic for my radio show. What exactly would be the worst possible place to encounter an obnoxious drunk? Comedy club won out that night, but what else? Church? No, that just sounds fun. Wedding? Still sounds amusing. Court? As long as I’m not the one on trial, bring it on. I think it would have to involve a place that I actually wanted to be at for me to be incensed. Movie theatre? Concert? Now we’re talking. My lingering thought was that these folks either are so oblivious to their own obnoxiousness that they will be the last to know that everyone else hates them, or they are narcissists who think that the unenlightened will benefit from their keen insight. To shush them would seem to somehow interfere with the process of natural selection. To discourage them from completing their daily cycle of destruction would perhaps prevent their capture or expiration through interfering through artificial or unnatural means. No, as I left her, begging not to be cut off by the waiter, I thought to myself that at least in my case she had provided me with an interesting topic of conversation for the two hour call in radio show that I would be conducting not 24 hours later. How in the hell anyone else in the room was going to use some drunk bitch’s behavior as an on the job resource at their office however, was beyond me. I guess that’s where not having a real job has its benefits. Log on to richardhuntershow.com This week on Showtime: Comedian Paul Mooney Live at The Lodge! You might remember that last April, The Lodge hosted Paul Mooney for an amazing night of comedy - and our beautiful entertainers - on a stage far grander than any ordinary comedy club in America. The TV production of that show, featuring The Lodge in all its glory, premieres Thursday, February 4, at 10 p.m. on Showtime. You can find more details of the comedy show - and other broadcast times on Showtimes website www.sho.com. Congratulations to Paul Mooney for realizing what our customers know: At The Lodge, it’s always Showtime. METRO ANE MAGAZINE Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 3 Ask The Bunny Ranch’s Air Force Amy The most celebrated and successful legal sex worker in Nevada history. Amy, I’m always afraid I will ejaculate too soon, what should I do? Don’t worry honey, you’re definitely not alone there. I’m sure the majority of men have thought the very same thing. I’ve always heard the old adage “think about baseball” while in the act to prevent popping too soon. I just can’t believe a man could actually think about baseball while in the bed with me. I’ve found that when man tries to prevent an inevitable ejaculation it spoils the mood, the performance and the enjoyment you were supposed to feel. I say, “just do it”! get that first one out of the way, and your subsequent boners will last a lot longer. In the mean time show your lady your skills in pleasing her. Cunnilingus, a massage, bubble bath and even just pillow talk in between hard-ons is plenty to keep a lady interested until you rejuvenate. I know, you hate pillow talk, but women love it. That’s a good time to think about baseball while you listen to her babble. See my blog for more sex and relationship advice, funny stories and info on how to see me at the Bunyranch. MY BLOG AND CALENDAR: http://airforceamy.com/blog/ calendar/?month=jan&yr=2010 EMAIL ME YOUR QUESTIONS OR TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE ME AT THE WORLS FAMOUS BUNNYRANCH. firstname.lastname@example.org Dancing Girls Promote Strip Club In See-Through Bus TAMPA -- A Tampa strip club has hit the road for a promotional stunt: Déjà Vu Showgirls are dancing in a big windowed bus driving around Bay area streets. “Of course, there is no nudity, because it’s just advertising. Simple pole dancing,” said Eric Terrell, the club’s general manager. A number of drivers paid a lot more attention to the bus than to the road. Some even took pictures and video with their cell phones. Others were concerned for their own safety. “The semi comes off the exit ramp -- we’re on Dale Mabry -- and is obviously very distracted,” said driver Paige Madison. “They see like 10 weird people in a see-through truck, and I was scared. I had to merge over to the left lane, because the semi wasn’t paying attention.” The dancing women on the bus said METRO ANE MAGAZINE Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly they try to avoid offending anyone. “If we see people we’re going to offend, we sit down, because we don’t want to offend anybody,” said Twee, one of the dancers. Although the women on the bus are local, the bus, itself, is not. Officials in Las Vegas had a problem with the same bus, and the city eventually banned it. Now Déjà Vu is sending it across the country. Authorities said it will probably only be in Tampa for a few days before it goes to Miami for Super Bowl week. www.METROANE.com Page 4 The Crystal Palace Burlesque Revue By: Ms. Misha Morê The Crystal Palace showcased a burlesque revue extravaganza of a bygone era. A spectacular classical burlesque exhibition reminiscent of its Victorian heyday. Burlesque Starlets sashayed their steamiest interpretations. The show is produced by Diamond Jim and La Divina Prodcutions. In the last three years, Diamond Jim and Divina have been producing and performing in these shows with venues like the Lakewood Theater and the New Orleans House of Blues. Last year, the number of burlesque performers and shows proliferated in Dallas. There are now close to two dozen burlesque troupes in town. There have been three past and present Winners of the Burlesque Hall of Fame Ms. Exotic World title that have performed in Dallas including Michelle L’Amour, Kitten De Ville and Kalani Kokonuts. Now dancers as far away as Berlin are clamoring to come to Dallas to dance in front of a Texas audience. The show was held at the Lakewood Theater, which is one of the largest venues in Dallas. Each performer shimmied and shammied their way to the stage that based their acts off of some famous and provocative Hollywood glamour of yesteryears of frilly and naughty film moments and inspirations. The headlining international burlesque star Catherine D’Lish, from Hollywood and is one of the few women who could legitimately be called an International burlesque superstar graced Dallas with her presence, talent and beauty. Performances by· Dallasites Angie B. Lovely, La Divina, Rose Darling, Courtney Crave, Mellisa Meaow, Athena Fatale and Ginger Valentine, Bunny Bailey (Fort Worth), Ruby Joule and Coco Lectric from Austin and Jolee Blon’ (Hollywood, CA). Emcee of the evening is the affable Chris Ryan who kept the audience entertained with a scintillating bio and performance synopsis of each performer. And the show’s grand finale, Catherine D’ Lish, showed us all why she is the International Burlesque Queen and a two time Miss Exotic World. She is also a world class costumer, designing for fellow performers Dita Von Teese and Ava Garter. I have been fortunate enough to see her perform live several times in the past and was wowed by her elegance and magnetism. Voted America’s #1 Weekly Adult Magazine www.metroane.com FREE METRO ANE CLASSIFIEDS METRO NETWORK Place your ad online or call us. 214-638-6397 www.metroane.com The Metroplex’s Weekly METRO ANE MAGAZINE News, & Entertainment Magazine Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 5 The enthusiasts who have always loved the staggered slow thump of a V-twin engine will surely find their breath bated at the site of the Desktop V Twin Engine. Made by a German engineering company, this fully operational internal combustion V-twin engine operates up to 10 minutes from a full tank. Optimally balanced for minimum vibration and smooth operation up to 1,500 rpm, it is built using two aluminum 1 1/2 cc cylinders and stainless steel exhaust pipes to emit non-toxic exhaust, allowing the engine to operate even in a ventilated room. With its grunts equaling a kitchen blender, this technology is indeed worth noticing. Priced at $1,000, this Desktop V Twin Engine keeps the riding rage alive, even in your workplace. The Spanish king of custom bike builders, Ferry Clot, can’t stay away for long without astonishing us with his buzzing exhibits of great detail. The winner of the 2009 world championship custom, Ferry Clot after making Panafina almost touch the ground even with its 23″ wheels is back with his latest creation named Ramera. The customized bike exhibits a great amount of detail with its Retrofuturo, S & S Engine 96 with system feeding a two-carburetor double body. The rear tire from a mega 360 could hardly go unnoticed and also the fact that a side stand would be rendered useless. Priced at $190,000, the Ramera can be seen on sale in Ferry Clot’s custom shop, Hot Dreams in Spain. The Virgin Necker Nymph Billionaire Sir Richard Branson may already own an airline, a record label, a mobile phone company, several luxury restaurants and a Caribbean island. But today the entrepreneur unveiled his latest toy - an underwater plane. The prototype submersible is called the Necker Nymph and can dive to depths of up to 130ft. Sir Richard hopes to one day explore depths of 35,000ft - which is far more than the height of Mount Everest. The Virgin Necker Nymph will dive up to 130ft under the waves. It is made from carbon fibre and has fighter jet technology Sir Richard plans to lend the Nymph out to visitors of his luxury hideaway, Necker Island. Gliding like an aeroplane through the water it can carry a pilot and two visitors on a two-hour trip. After undergoing scuba training, guests can uncover ancient shipwrecks, fly side-by-side with dolphins or follow whales. The Nymph is available to hire for $25,000 a week, but only after you have forked out a minimum of $88,000 for seven nights on the luxury catamaran, the Necker Belle. The luxury sub has fighter jet technology and is piloted with a joystick. While most subs use ballast to propel subs under the water, the Nymph uses downward ‘lift’ on the wings to fly down. Sir Richard is expecting the sub to be delivered on February 20th. So those readers who have some spare change may jump at this adventurous week’s holiday. The rest of us can just dream... orilla gadgets odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff! Just to add a little sass to your computer set-up, there’s the Toy Boy Mouse. This sculpted hunk of plastic man is certainly an upgrade from your standard boring old mouse and he lovveeessss the way you click through web pages like its your job. A modern optical mouse, available for $28, it connects via USB to any PC or Mac. Compatible with Windows® 95/98/2000/ ME/XP/NT/Vista, Mac® OS X 10+, Linux. METRO ANE MAGAZINE Also the Body Limited A special exclusive limited series. The Body Mouse Limited dressed in white lingerie is ready before its official presentation cover girl in a Spanish design catalogue. The Body Mouse Limited is the must-have item of the season for collectors. Modern Optical Mouse Connection: USB (suitable for PC and Mac) Resolution: 800 dpi 36 months warranty http://www.shop.pat-says-now.com/ These erotic wooden furniture pieces are by sculptural furniture maker Peter Rolfe. You can’t really tell in the first sculpture, but the bust opens up as well. Whether or not this sexy furniture is your thing, the craftsmanship is undeniable. More From this anatomical collection can be seen on his site. Don’t worry ladies, there are male versions as well. http://www.p-rolfe.co.uk/ Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 6 Feeling Dirty Digital Playground’s Jesse Jane from Ft. Worth, TX was named “Cyber Siren” of the month in the January issue of AVN magazine. Hot on the heals of a massive publicity tour for Pirates II, Nurses and Teachers, Jesse still found the time to create tons of new content for the relaunch of her website, JesseJane.com. The revamped site caters to Jesse and her personal connection to her fans by offering 10X more content and interactive features including, random and spontaneous live chats, home videos and her secret diary. Digital Playground’s VP of New Media, Farley Cahen, weighs in on the relaunch, “It’s a video version of Twitter, allowing Jesse to reach out to her fans any time, from anywhere to let them see exactly what she’s up to.” Hosted and designed by Digital Playground, JesseJane.com also offers fans a playground filled with new high definition photo sets, daily updates, true high definition streaming, home sex tapes and more. Jesse smiles, “I am excited to learn AVN named me “cyber siren” of January; it is really nice to be noticed for interaction I have with METRO ANE MAGAZINE my fans on the web. From Twitter, to the new website, I spend hours online every day. I love my fans and there is no better way to reach them.” “Caligula” director to make 3D porn film – Veteran erotic film director Tinto Brass, best known for his 1979 release “Caligula,” said Thursday he would produce what he called the world’s first-ever 3D pornographic production. With “Avatar” recently becoming the biggest film of all time, the 76-year-old Italian filmmaker said the time is right for 3D technologies to be used to create an erotic film. He noted that the project, which he said will be the world’s first 3D erotic film, will also be the first 3D film of any type made in Italy. Brass said he plans to “revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there,” a reference to “Caligula,” which he has criticized because of hard-core sex scenes added during postproduction without his consent. He collaborated on that project with author Gore Vidal and Penthouse magazine publisher Bob Guccione. Brass said he would start work on casting and the script immediately, and that he planned to start filming in May or June. Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 7 METRO ANE SPORTS thinkin’ Ol’ Drew wasn’t havin’ the same zip on the ball as he started the game with, and he was getting’ some duck wobblers out there, too. Then commentator Aikman says the same thing, that he thinks Brees isn’t throwin’ right. For a week and a half you’ve been a listening to it. On the talk shows, the tv, reading it in papers and magazines. It’s coming like a train this Sunday and by itself it’s a huge economic recovery package. Most years I’m more excited about the rest of the playoffs because it’s all do or die to get to the Big Dance. Why not so much about the Super Bowl? Most of them have been one sided contests. Maybe it’s the two weeks til the game. Maybe it’s first time teams under that kind of media blitzkrieg from reporters that come in from virtually every country on the planet. Maybe it’s answering all kinds of stupid questions. Maybe they just mentally dropped after reaching the goal of getting there. But folks, every once in a while a real game comes our way and this one looks like it’s gonna be a barn burner. Everybody’s got their favorites. Everyone’s got their opinions. And this party can’t get started fast enough. Seem’s them Indianapolis Colts done got themselves lodged in as favorites, so’s let’s kick this one off with the underdog Saints. My doubt lies with QB Drew Brees. Not because I don’t think he’s one totally prepared and totally zoned into it quarterback, no, that’s not it. I think he was injured in that Vikings game and they ain’t been a doggone thing said about it since. Somewhere’s early in the second half I was METRO ANE MAGAZINE In the NHL them hockey coaches won’t tell you if a player’s got a scratch, and if you noted he was bent over holdin’ his somethin’s, they’ll lie to you about where it is. Like he’s bleeding from the nose and they’ll say he’s got a lower body bruise. The NFL is quiet about their active rosters, but it isn’t anywhere near that bad. They have to issue an injury list and players status. There’s hasn’t been a thing mentioned about Brees. Either he got over whatever it was or nobody’s talkin’ and they aren’t putting anything on the list. But I replayed that game three times and Brees for sure wasn’t throwin’ right that second half. Reggie Bush. That division game against the Cardinals is the first time in his 3 pro years I actually saw him do anything near what he did in college. And he got a couple of good ‘uns in against the Vikes. Question is, which Bush is coming to play Sunday? Is Reggie a better utility back than featured runner? You bet’cha. Catching passes in the flats and zoomin’ it down the edge has been his success in New Orleans. But, defenses have been restricting him on those routes so his all purpose yards have dropped. If Bush is gonna be the X factor in the game, he’s gonna have to do it from the backfield. The Colts offense doesn’t have the running game like the Vikings, but even so, if the Saints want success they’ll have to go after Manning like they went after Favre. The edge New Orleans needs is for their D to harass Peyton, the problem is Indy’s no huddle offense. Peyton can be patient for a half or three quarters, but in that second half, the D’s gonna get tired and Manning will strike. NO has to keep Manning pressured the whole game and have success with the running game. game will be a close one with lots of great plays and good scoring. The Indianapolis Colts. I’ve received many questions whether I was going to break down and watch the Pro Bowl, most themselves not watching but a few calling me out for not supporting it. Support what? The triplets in this offense are the center, Jeff Saturday, the QB, Peyton Manning, and the offensive coordinator, Tom Moore. These three have years of experience with that offense and years reading defenses and making adjustments. Saturday’s maybe THE premier center in the league and he calls adjustments to the offense line. Peyton and Moore both play live football like a chess game and Manning runs it from the no huddle. Against the Jets in the AFC Championship game, it tested their patience deep into the second quarter and that’s when they started turning it up and the Jets were out of it from that point on. Indy has a reasonable running game but not top tier, and the only reason its reasonably successful is because of the no huddle. That’s the crux of it right there, is how fast will Peyton bring them back up to the line and call the next play? He doesn’t have to wait for the whole play clock, nope, he can speed it up. Peyton will have success against NO’s secondary, his only problem will be what kind of rush he’s gonna face and what it’ll take to back it off. Peyton will throw the odd interception but he doesn’t get flustered like Favre and toss wild ones. Key: if defensive end Freeney and a couple of other defenders cannot start, or play, that will force the offense to put up more points. X factor: can Garcon be the go to guy in this game like he was against the Jets? Game summation: both secondary’s are vulnerable to the pass, NO’s got more quality depth at receiver but Indy’s got the no huddle. Unless the Saints get all jumpy from their first visit to the Big Stage then this Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly First off, it’s a non game. It doesn’t count and nobody’s playing all out. I actually don’t think they should even have an actual game. I think they should have an awards weekend with an awards dinner with ceremony. And players should be selected by other players, not fans, not media, not coaches, and not front office. And holding this one the weekend before the Super Bowl is stupid. The players selected to the Pro Bowl that are playing in the SB won’t attend and others with injuries or other excuses won’t attend, which means players who weren’t actually voted in are now called up to be replacements. The problem with that? It goes down as they’re invited to the Pro Bowl and goes on their record. They weren’t pro bowl caliber players to get in and now they are because of a game schedule? The NFL is defending it citing the 70,000 fans who attended as “direct interest” in the game. Balderdash. These are people down there partying with nothing else to do, plus locals being pumped up by their civic leaders. Has any city ever been so overhyped as New Orleans? I’m really pretty tired of hearing how this is such a remarkable city since Katrina, so how about some flip side. The city of New Orleans and the state of Louisiana haven’t bothered to give so much of a nod of their collective heads to say thank you to the rest of the country for the help they’ve received. The levee’s that broke had had more money thrown at them for repair for years prior to Katrina and none www.METROANE.com Page 8 METRO ANE SPORTS of that money had been spent repairing them. The New Orleans police force was the most corrupt force in the country from petty crimes to murder. And that obviously includes the time frame that Steven Seagal and his mighty Sheriff’s have been trekking the dark alleyways with bright lights. Plus, when everyone fled, that included all their criminals, 90% of whom have stayed relocated causing problems in new locations instead of going back. Louisiana and New Orleans haven’t addressed at all how they’re going to pay back any of the funds allocated for their help. Wouldn’t it be nice if they actually said thank you and paid back a pile of the money? We’ll see pigs fly before we’ll see that. By the way, years ago when there was another economic downturn and the automotive industry needed bailing out, Chrysler accepted hundreds of millions of dollars. They had Lee Iacocca come in, take over the rebuilding, turn things around. He built the company back up and paid the country back “in full” and before it was due. Yes it can be done, and yes there are credible men in this country. So please, enough with these stories of the woe begotten city of New Orleans. Any controversy with Indianapolis? Well, on the good side they’ve long been struggling with their economy but not crying like babies. On the bad side, they seem to think they’ve got bragging rights for allegedly creating what they called Buffalo wings. In a tale that goes back to the cattle drive days in Texas, a story never written but passed down between men drinking around campfires, shot full of holes with innuendo and impossible references, it seems the hot wings were FIRST created in Texas. A chuck wagon cook who’d gathered up some free range chickens and had cut off the throw away’s, accidently knocked ‘em into the buffalo chili he was fixin’. The crew came in and started eating and liked it. He started messing with different coatings and that’s potentially how chicken wings actually METRO ANE MAGAZINE began. So, you see, Indy couldn’t lay claim to the creation of wings. To answer the gazillion readers who want to know about the Bret Favre and Minnesota Vikings situation, here tis. Minnesota’s in a world of hurt if Bret doesn’t return. Who’s gonna QB that team? Tavaris Jackson? Sage Rosenfels? Hardly. TJack can’t because for a couple of years he had that same offense, except for Percy Harvin, and couldn’t do squat with it. Rosenfels was brought in before last season to take over then the Favre saga started. But Favre didn’t come in until late and Sage couldn’t even win the offense from T Jack over the preseason. It’s possible that Sage might do well if this team could stay together another couple of years while he learned the offense, but that can’t happen. Nope. Minnesota’s built to win now, and if Favre doesn’t come back the Vikings go down. And they go down the hard way, loaded for bear and nothing but blanks to fire in the ammo box. Another pesky issue that won’t go away for many is why Dirk Nowitzki was a late add to the NBA All Star game and just a reserve at that. Hey, if you actually needed any more evidence that the Mav’s don’t get any respect around the league, this should put an end to that. It’s also BIG evidence that the All Star game is a joke as long as fans are allowed in the voting process. I think that Dirk has earned the respect he deserves from players around the league but he’s saddled with wrong team at the wrong time. This is far and away nothing new in the sports world as many really top athletes have played for teams just couldn’t get it done. The sad part is that Dirk’s with a team that got to the Big Dance but the Prom Queen got away before he could get the last dance in. Now he’s still allowed to be on the edges like a stage door Johnny, but he only gets to flirt, he doesn’t get to ask her back to the dance. The Mav’s still sit on top of the division and third overall in the West, but you could say their grip on that is like holding on to a slippery electric eel. It’s goin’ up and down and sideways and every once in a while they get shocked. And what do you say about a team that comes up with more and more creative ways of explaining their gaming? For example the idea that each time they switch players out in the rotation that the starting team is again a work in progress. Jason Terry’s now in the top five and Josh Howards the sixth man, and this switch is causing the rest of the starters to have to relearn how to play together. I’ve played and worked and been around many kinds of teams and once they’ve been together for at least a year the interchange is pretty smoothed out. The only real learning curve the Mav’s had to put any effort into this year was bringing on Shawn Marion, and one guy is easier to absorb. Josh Howards 2009 salary was $10 million dollars and this is what he produces? Maybe Cuban ought to start holding his players as accountable as he wants the referee’s to be. Readers Response: Two Dogs: Al Davis isn’t doing anything to shake up the coaching staff. He’s keeping that Neanderthal Cable and bringing in more of his kind that will all be marionette’s to Davis’s throne. Camden Denton Camden: Marionettes? I had to look that one up. I was going to say that I hadn’t been to a puppet show since elementary school, but I guess you could say watching the Raiders is like watching a staff with strings tied to ‘em. By the way, I’m a tailgate guy, don’t use words like that, it mud’s up my bbq sauce. TD Two Dogs: Any good superstitions for the Super Bowl? Perry Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly Irving Perry: How ‘bout this: the Colts have been to the Super Bowl three times, the first two as Baltimore and the third as Indianapolis. They played in SB III and lost to the Jets, 16-7. In SB V they beat Dallas, 16-13. In SB XLI (that’s 41 for you non Romans out there) they beat the Bears 29-17. All three games were played in Miami. The game they lost they wore blue, in the two they won, they wore white. In this upcoming SB 44, Indy’s considered the home team, and they chose to wear, drum roll please, blue. And it’s being played in Miami. TD Two Dogs: Will Saints field goal kicker Garrett Hartley be the factor in the Super Bowl that he was against the Vikings? Meridith Ft Worth Meridith: I hope not. From Head Coaches to Coordinators to Quarterbacks we’ve got a great matchup and I’d like this to be decided in a touchdown shootout. TD Two Dogs: Now that Hicks is out of the way do the Rangers finally take off? Will the new owner concentrate on making pitching THE number one priority? Can we count on them not mess with the farm system and develop players? Alec Keller Alec: Hicks isn’t totally out of the way since the sale still has to be approved by MLB, but he’s pretty much a lame duck owner now, which is really nothing more than a continuation of his years as regular owner. Pitching with relevant support will be a major effort now. TD Pat “Two Dogs” Snow email@example.com www.METROANE.com Page 9 Escorts Plan to Profit Big From Super Bowl Week In South Florida hese things are inevitable: death, T taxes, and escorts coming to town for the Super Bowl. For a large number of escorts willing to travel, this week represents the annual call to cash, the ritualistic mid-winter trip to whatever American city upon which the National Football League has so graciously bestowed its end-ofseason coronation. Politicians and media types may debate exactly what kind of stimulus the Super Bowl (and now, the Pro Bowl) actually gives the local economy, but there’s no debating the huge impact such events have on the economy of sex. Ask Disco Rick, the “talent manager” (read: stripper wrangler) at King of Diamonds strip club, and he says “this week is going to be the biggest in strip club history in South Florida.” His club will have more than 500 women working this week. Local police forces have announced that they will be especially diligent this week, with active stings targeting both escorts and potential patrons. Still, as many as 100,000 escorts--both male and female--will descend upon South Florida in hopes of cashing in with football fans before the Super Bowl, according to the Prostitute Diversion Initiative. The escorts who travel to major events are known as “circuit girls.” Some women such as So Solei Sexy are putting up posts on YouTube, announcing their presence in the Sunshine State, and asking men to call. Of course, legally speaking, we have no reason to believe the woman asking local men to get in touch with her in this video is a prostitute. I spoke with two women who drove more than 20 hours to get here from Chicago. This is the first Super Bowl week for either woman, but Keisha and Amanda (both use fake names for METRO ANE MAGAZINE Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly work) say they have friends in Illinois who have made this trip before. “A girl we know came here three years ago [for Super Bowl XLI] and walked away with 35 large,” Keisha says. Both women are dancers, but took two weeks off to come to Fort Lauderdale to see if they couldn’t get their share of the excess cash flowing into the Sunshine State. And the trip was well planned. They purchased temporary local cell phones and placed ads ahead of time on escort web sites and Craigslist. They booked rooms at a motel not far from Commercial Boulevard and I-95. Amanda says they even sat down and tried to calculate which days were likely to be busiest, so they could be cost-efficient. “We wanted to spend as little as possible,” she told me. “We’re all about the profits. Expense line, zero.” While many escorts are brought on such trips by “managers,” Keisha says they planned the entire trip themselves, starting in November. She says she thinks of it as a business trip, like she’s a travelling salesman. She says she considers what she does “providing a service.” “Men away from their wives and kids and lives back home need company,” she says. “They’re willing to look up local company.” The idea originated, they explain, when a friend from Chicago told them about her trip to the last Super Bowl in Miami. “Some guy called her and basically fell in love with her,” Keisha says. He took her out to eat every night. He took her to clubs, to the beach, to Super Bowl parties. He sent text messages from from his seat, the story goes. “She said she’s never made more money in her life. He was crying when she left and she was basically crying too because it was hard to leave the easy money.” They say this trip will be a disappointment if they make less than $15,000 each. I asked if they planned on seeing any of the tourist attractions across South Florida, or if they were going to get some time at the beach. Amanda said she probably won’t. “Hopefully I’ll be too busy.” www.METROANE.com Page 10 METRO ANE MAGAZINE Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 11 * Does somebody want to transfer millions of dollars into your account? Does someone want you pay you to cash cheques and send them the money? Met a new friend/penpal on a friendship/dating site who’s asking you for money? Has a dying person contacted you wanting your help to give his money to charity? Have you sold an item and are asked to accept a payment larger than the item amount? Suckers “Victims” lost $9.3 billion to 419 scammers in 2009 Advance-fee fraud (AFF), also known as 419 scams and Nigerian scams, exploded in 2009, with victims losing more money than ever before. This is according to the latest analysis from Dutch investigation firm Ultrascan—a company that has been monitoring the activities of 419 scammers since 1996—which says that victims lost almost 50 percent more money in 2009 than 2008. Considering that 419 scams have METRO ANE MAGAZINE been well-known since the 1970s, this trend is particularly disturbing. However, Ultrascan says scammers are expanding their operations and shifting their focus to emerging Internet markets, where there’s more fresh meat getting online every day. According to the firm, which analyzed 8,503 cases across 152 coun- tries in 2009, victims lost $9.3 billion in the last year alone, compared to $6.3 billion on 2008. Although the majority of AFF is still organized by people living in Nigeria, it’s not always carried out by people there anymore—Ultrascan’s 225page report says that a minimum of 51,761 scammers perpetrated their crimes from 69 other countries with another 250,000 doing so from Nigeria. A major reason for the growth is that scammers are no longer simply sending their “proposals” to the US and Europe. China, India, South Korea, Vietnam, and other countries are falling prey to 419 scams en masse, it seems, though Ultrascan points out that people in different countries tend to fall for specific variations of the scam. For example, the Chinese tend to fall for lottery or cash-on-delivery scams, while those in India tend to fall for lowend job and student visa scams. With more than $41 billion lost to date and a 5 percent growth rate per year, it certainly seems as if 419 scams are not going away anytime soon. Ultrascan also cautions that, because there is no centralized place to track and report 419 and AFF scams, its estimates are mere minimums—the actual numbers are likely to be far higher. Nigerians have become understand- Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly ably sensitive to their image being smeared thanks to 419 scammers, though Nigeria’s officials haven’t done much to help on the PR front. Nigerian high commissioner Sunday Olu Agbi made headlines in 2008 by saying that victims were just as greedy as the scammers themselves, and therefore just as guilty for helping to keep the scams alive. Because it’s so hard for law enforcement in various countries to fight scammers from overseas, a whole movement of scam baiters has come out to lead scammers in circles in the name of vigilanteism (we gave it a try when scammers tried to use one of our staffers’ homes as bait, but didn’t last long). Some don’t believe in the ethics of scam baiting, but even Ultrascan doesn’t seem to have much faith in law enforcement’s ability to help. “It’s obvious that law enforcement’s feeble attempts to control this fraud have failed, as evidenced by 3 decades of exponential 419 AFF growth,” reads the report. www.METROANE.com Page 12 METRO ANE MAGAZINE Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 13 How Hot is RedHot? Call now to find out! 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