mamatoga SARATOGA’S FIRST PARENTING MAGAZINE
SUMMER 2015
Come see why the new Bellevue is the Capital Region’s most popular place to have a baby.
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TOUR TODAY 518.346.9410 Virtual tour at ellismedicine.org
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SUMMER SCHOOL THAT’S COOL! Keep your kids' minds sharp and entertained this summer (and give yourself some well-needed personal time) with our super-fun and educational cooking classes! We're offering classes and camps for kids of all ages all summer long!
HAVE A SUMMER BIRTHDAY BABY? We also offer amazing birthday parties! Your kiddo and friends will have a blast cooking, eating, playing, and learning (with plenty of time for cake and presents, too)!
NY ďš? SARATOGA SPRINGSďš? NY ďš’ ďš’ WWWďš’HEALTHYLIVINGMARKETďš’COM
Letter from the Editor Summer is such a sweet dichotomy, the days are longer but the time seems so short. You have your summer bucket list of things you want to do with the kids: go to the beach, try camping, fishing, whatever it is you want to do you try to fit it in and cross your fingers for the best weather to make it all happen.
Jenny Witte
CEO & Founder
Jake Van Ness
Sometimes it works out, sometimes it gets rained out, and sometimes you simply run out of time and before you can blink you’re standing in the school supply aisle at Target clutching a supply list and looking for the right kind of glue stick.
Creative Director jake@graphicprecision.com
This summer I’m taking a more laid back approach to the season with a generic summer wish list. I want to see a parade at some point, eat some s’mores at some point, swim in a lake, play golf with my husband at McGregor Links Country Club at some point, catch fireflies, build a sandcastle, eat a lobster roll, pick some local fruit. Maybe bake with it. Maybe we’ll just eat it right from the patch. We’ll see.
Publisher publishing@mamatoga.com
Mamatoga, LLC
Cover photography shot at McGregor Links Country Club, photo by Tracey Buyce.
lawn at SPAC next to sleepy children on a picnic blanket. The This past spring, photographer Tracey Buyce came to our house summer is what you make of it, and I hope you find a few things and shot some photos of us just hanging out as a family, doing in this issue to help you make it a great one. our everyday things; making dinner, playing a board game together, just reading together in my daughter’s room, playing with the dogs. She took photos of me making a birthday cake for Levy, something I do every year but have never thought to have photos of. When I got a chance to see the images she captured I was completely taken aback by how special they were, because they were those every day moments that you don’t “have time” to appreciate. The laughs between siblings at the dinner table, the three year old sneaking a taste of icing from a cake, the simple act of making a dinner together.
xoxo - Jenny
The photos reminded me to slow down when I can and to look around at these little people in my life before they grow up and move out and have little people of their own, and this summer is a perfect opportunity with Saratoga Springs as the perfect backdrop. Chasing ducks in Congress Park, tramping through the woods at Saratoga Spa State Park, getting my butt kicked in tennis by Miss Gwen at McGregor, watching the ballet on the
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Vintage Mamatoga on the left enjoying an awesomely 80s summer
Contents 5 10
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13 EAT FRESH BUY LOCAL 20 BEAUTIFULLY SRONG 26 SMOOTHIE TO ICE POP 28 PREGNACY LOSS & MISCARRIAGE 38 CALENDAR
50 OUR MOM STYLE
46 PARTY SPOTLIGHT
54 GIMME S'MORES
60 64
Show us what you’ve got.
It’s a special time in your life. Strut your stuff. We make it all about you. We encourage you to ask questions, and guide you in making the decisions that work best for you. Throughout the process, we will support you and your wishes in every way that we can. Midwives typically spend more time with patients during prenatal visits, and women who choose midwives are less likely to have cesarean-section births, and induced labor. If you are looking for a personalized approach to your care, contact us at 518-363-8815.
2911 Route 9, Building 1, Balls ton Spa s a r at o g a h o s p it a l . o r g
617 Maple Ave (Route 9), Saratoga Springs, NY (518) 584-2121
The “Nemer-Toga” Moms that Keep Our Business Running! L to R: Laura McGreevy, Tia Meyer, Anne Croteau, Melissa Gorham, Jen Dugan, Amanda Baker, Jenny DeCarli, Lindsey Hughes Not Pictured: Carli Jenkins (Our Apologies, We Think You’re Great Too!)
www.NemerCJDRofSaratoga.com
We provide continuous support during pregnancy, birth and beyond with our Midwives & Our Team of All Female Obstetricians.
Emily Yeast, CNM Allison Herrick, CNM Susan Pantano, CNM Carly Koelsch, CNM Dr. Kathryn Leopold Dr. Ali Doyle Dr. Susan Bradford Dr. Patricia Snyder Dr. Jennifer Bashant Dr. Diana Sustar
6 Carpenter Lane, Saratoga Springs, NY (518) 583-0020
45 Hudson Ave., Glens Falls, NY (518) 793-4477
Visit our website at: www.womenscareny.com
Circus Smirkus Saratoga Springs July 5 & 6 Shows at 1pm and 7pm
For tickets: 1-877-smirkus smirkus.org or go to Crafters Gallery or Children’s Museum of Saratoga Springs
CONTRIB Katie Nemer Katie Nemer is a toga mama to Jackson (13), Zoe (4), Preston (2), and Cocoa and Cookie (the family labradors). She and her husband, Josh, are huge fans of Saratoga and of Mamatoga magazine. Julie Cox is Jackson's stepmom and Katie's Co-author for their column, "Adventures in Co-Parenting". Together they share their story about the many benefits, challenges, and humorous events that arise when sharing a child between two houses.
Carolyn Slatch Carolyn Slatch is a graduate of Mount Holyoke College and Upstate Medical College. She did her residency training at Albany Medical center and she has practiced obstetrics and gynecology with Myrtle St. OB/GYN for 15 years.
Tracey Buyce Tracey is a top-ranked wedding and pet photographer in Saratoga Springs, NY. Her work has been published in numerous high profile publications and websites. She is an active member of the Wedding Photojournalist Association, Fearless Photographers and Professional Photographers of America. Tracey volunteers for several charities including: Hospice of Saratoga, CANDi International and Photographers without Borders.Tracey is married to Pete and has two rescue dogs, Roxy and Cassidy, one shelter kitty, Reece, and a horse named Moose.
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BUTORS Julie Cox You can often spot Julie around town doing one or more of the following things: Â chasing one of her three boys, Jackson (12), Declan (4), and Beckett (1), educating teenagers about Shakespeare/aliens/grammar, driving her sweet minivan between various sports and activities, and chugging coffee in the midst of all the organized chaos. Â But most likely you will find her wandering the aisles of the grocery store where she spends the bulk of her time stockpiling food for the aforementioned three boys who are, for the most part, very very hungry.
Theresa Kirchoff Originally from Rotterdam, Theresa is going on 10 years of marriage to husband David and is a mama to first grader Giana and one year old Alivia, as well as the family Pomeranian, Cassi Bella. She enjoys being a stay-at-home mom to her girls, and also a part-time therapist to local adults. You'll often find this family together with friends enjoying beautiful downtown Saratoga and cherishing the many activities and events this exciting community has to offer.
Jake Van Ness Jake is a graphic designer and the owner of Graphic Precision, a design firm serving clients locally and nationally. With over 16 years experience in the design and printing industries, Jake provides his clients with cutting edge branding and marketing design in print, as well as online. Graphic Precision has received numerous national awards for it’s design work, including two for the design and layout of Mamatoga Magazine. Having grown up in Saratoga Springs, Jake enjoys working as the Creative Director for a magazine based in his home town. Learn more about Jake and his design firm Graphic Precision at www.graphicprecision.com.
www.Mamatoga.com
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Specializing in moments that matter! w w w. t r a c e y b u y c e . c o m 518.44.12704 Located in Saratoga Springs, NY
eat fresh buy local Saratoga Springs Farmers’ Market Wednesdays 3 pm - 6 pm & Saturdays 9 am - 1 pm High Rock Park Pavilions 105 High Rock Avenue Saratoga Springs Clifton Park Farmers’ Market Thursday, 2 pm - 5 pm St. George’s Church parking lot 912 Route 146 1 mile west of I-87 Exit 9 Clifton Park Spa City Farmers’ Market Sundays from 10 am - 3 pm 65 South Broadway (Lincoln Baths, Saratoga Spa State Park) Saratoga Springs Ballston Spa Farmers’ Market Thursdays 3 pm - 6 pm & Saturdays 9 am - Noon Wiswall Park at Front St and Low St Ballston Spa Malta Farmers’ Market Tuesday, 3 pm - 6 pm Allerdice ACE Hardware parking lot 2570 Route 9 Just South of Malta Community Center Malta
MY PARENT LIFE
Photography by Tracey Buyce
Mamatoga will celebrate four years this July, and I love being part of our community. One of my favorite series on mamatoga.com is the My Mom Life Series where moms answer simple questions to give an insight into their daily lives as parents. People have asked me over the years when I am going to answer the My Mom Life questions myself, and I thought this summer is the perfect time. Just a few months ago my friend, photographer Tracey Buyce came to the house to do a “Day in the Life” shoot. Different from traditional family shoots, this one featured us just going about our day, and she captured the beauty in our every day lives. Little things like having dinner together as a family, making cookies with the kids, getting them in
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their pajamas, being at the barn at North Country Horses while Levy has her riding lessons. The photos are so special because they are those little memories that you forget about as time goes by; what the kids rooms looked like when they were small, little hands helping you stir cookie batter, chunky little baby legs. The posed family photos are also special, but there was a certain magic captured in these photographs, it is like being able to permanently freeze time and remember things exactly how they were. We all say, “Oh it goes by too fast” and it is so true. You think you will remember those little details, but they fade. With these photos, I will always remember this slice of time, and they are cherished. To find out more about these shoots and more about Tracey, click here. http://www.traceybuyce.com/
Do you have time for yourself? What do you do during that time? The short answer is yes, I do have time to myself, but it’s usually the hour between putting the kids to bed and me falling asleep, so the boring answer is usually watching Netflix with my husband. During the summer I take tennis lessons with Miss Gwen at McGregor Links Country Club so I have an hour to myself once a week to do something active, and she really makes me run. What advice would you give to other moms about how to balance work and life? My real answer is don’t even try. And by that I mean don’t make “finding balance” an end goal, but more like a work in progress. I find balance when I can, here and there I try to balance things out, and when they don’t I try to not beat myself up but just make an effort the next chance I can. Do you ever wonder how other women manage the juggle? Do you think people are open about it? I used to wonder more about it than I do now. When I was a full time stay at home mom my days felt very full, and now that I work from home they also feel full, so I get that being a parent is a full time job whether you also work outside the home or not. Seeing both sides of parenting, before I started working and now that I do work, makes me appreciate both so much. Part of me misses being a “full time” parent (I say
that with quotations because we are all full time parents, right??) and the other part of me feels like I would be unhappy if I didn’t also work. What do you find tricky about your current set-up/schedule? What would you change if you could? Now that my kids are getting older their after school schedules can get a little hairy, and sometimes I really hate that. My oldest son sometimes wouldn’t get home till 8 o’clock from sports practice, and I missed having us all together at the dinner table, but we make it work on the nights that we are all together. I don’t love spending my afternoons in the minivan between tennis and ballet and horseback riding and lacrosse, but they love it and seeing them try new things is definitely worth the Mom’s Taxi job. What do you like best about your current set-up/schedule? I like the mornings the best probably. I was never an early riser before I had kids, but now I usually get up when the 3 year old gets up (he always gets up first) and my husband has www.Mamatoga.com
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a routine of always making me a (VERY necessary) cup of coffee in the morning. The kids all get up at different times and then will eventually congregate downstairs together, so I usually will get the baby up and snuggle with her and my coffee while I watch a show before I have to get up and make breakfasts and lunches and locate clothing, etc. Mornings are when I usually watch my favorite shows uninterrupted (on Apple TV or Hulu), rather than at night when I usually fall asleep after like twenty minutes. I’m the worst with staying up late now, I’m usually asleep by like 9pm most nights it’s pretty lame.
What is your typical schedule like during the week? 6am Get up with Jack, have coffee, hang out and watch TV with the baby in our pajamas 7:30 Make sure everyone is up and make breakfast. In the summer we usually have tennis lessons in the morning, so there is some locating of equipment, hats, bathing suits for after, etc. 9-12 Sean is home with the kids so in the summer I try to get as much work done in the morning as possible so we can
do something as a family later in the day. This is generally successful, but sometimes I am meeting a deadline while feeding the baby and refereeing some sort of disagreement between children and figuring out what we are going to need from Target. There is usually at least ONE Target run every other day for: diapers, chocolate milk, goldfish, paper towels. I swear I spend half my “free time” at Target and always run into friends doing the same thing. Target is the place to be for parents apparently. 12-4 or 5: We only do a couple weeks of camp in the summer and the rest of the time we are sort of winging it. With four kids of varying ages this actually is easier than a structured camp because we can work around nap times. Most of the time we are either at the pool at McGregor or on a hike, picking strawberries, doing the sprinkler in the backyard, playing with the neighbors. It is extremely low key for the most part and based on weather. We also have those days where we have movie marathons and stay in pajamas till 1pm just because we all need a down day. What are some of your top must have products for the parenting part of your life? What are some non-mom must haves? Parenting side: Magic Erasers are like my lifesaver. I panic if I run out. They are miracle workers. Seriously. And a dust buster. I am forever cleaning up cracker crumbs and stray Cheerios. Non-mom? I guess besides coffee (SO MUCH COFFEE) I am a seltzer addict, and on especially trying days I add the Natural Calm powder from Healthy Living Market and Cafe to it with some OJ. Smoothes out the rough edges sometimes. What is one thing you’ve realized/learned about motherhood that no one ever told you before you had kids? That you will quickly become capable of cleaning up vomit without gagging, and will actually become quite good at it. If you had an extra hour in the day you would spend it…? Probably reading. Before I had kids I read ALL the time. When I was pregnant with my first I read every single book ever written by Agatha Christie one after another without stopping. Now I’m lucky if I sneak in a few chapters while waiting for horseback riding to be finished. I miss books. I buy them a lot, but they pretty much just sit in a stack by my bed reminding me how unread they are.
Do you find it hard or difficult at all to stay connected to friends/people in your life now that you have kids? Any tips on how to stay connected to those people? I find it hard to stay connected period. Unfortunately right now I’m at a point where getting out and being social (when I’m not doing it for work) just isn’t super easy. And I’m also at a point where at the end of the day I am just so TIRED that really all I can muster is hopefully the energy to watch a movie with Sean on TV. I know that will change eventually though, so right now I am appreciating being a homebody. When I do get to see friends we try to just cram as much catching up into one night as possible. Luckily for me my co-worker with my other website is also one of my closest friends so we get to hang out and chat about non-work stuff more than if we weren’t working together. Is there anything you find yourself doing as a parent that you swore you would never do before you had kids? I guess probably telling my kids “Maybe” when I really mean “No”. Or giving them the general brush off about things, like playdates that are tentatively planned. “Oh maybe next week…”. I always hated it when I would get the vague “Maybe” from my parents but sometimes you know the firm no is going to be a battle so you just trail off and hope for M the best.
beautifully strong Photography by Susan Blackburn
C
indy Lunsford, the owner of Hot Yoga Saratoga, has been a good friend of mine for years, and those that know her know what an amazing attitude she has just about life in general. She is motivating, inspiring, and is a positive force in many people’s lives. The week before Thanksgiving of this year, Cindy’s son Leo was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and they took
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it on the way she takes on everything in life, with grit and determination. She recently participated in a St. Baldrick’s event with many locals in the seats getting their heads shaved to support cancer research, and Cindy was no exception. When I first found out she would be shaving her head my immediate thought was, “That is so Cindy”. She is fearless, and if anyone
can rock a shaved head, it is she. I recently spoke with Cindy about the experience and how Leo is doing. Cindy: Just before Thanksgiving, Leo was first diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had a large lymphnode on his neck that was getting increasingly bigger. We had him tested for allergies and even had blood work done but there was no indication of a problem. We finally asked that the
largest lymph be removed and biopsied. We were called in a few days later and informed that Leo had Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was devastating but with all crises you just respond to the call and do what you have to do. We were lucky that the majority of his treatment was outpatient and he is already cancer-free! Shaving my head for St. Baldrick’s was completely liberating! I had a good amount of time to build up the confidence but, in light of everything that happened this past year, it really felt like a weight off. The kids were actually against it at first but have been really supportive since I actually did it. Surprisingly, it’s other people who have questioned when I’m growing it back and I’ve caught many sympathetic glances from people because they probably presume I have cancer. Ironically, though, I feel stronger and more confident with it gone.....just one less thing to worry about! I would love for people to know how important it is to support cancer research through such organizations like St. Baldrick’s. Hodgkins Lymphoma is a great example of 22 | MAMATOGA
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what research can do for the future of cancer prevention and treatment. Had my son been diagnosed at another time in history, he might not have been so lucky. Today, Hodgkins is treatable and curable. Organizations like St. Baldrick’s also create awareness and education about cancer, which helps kids with cancer live a more normal life among their peers. Leo missed a lot of school and playtime while he was sick but I think he came out a much stronger little guy. Being honored through St. Baldrick’s was just one more way he M was able to feel loved and celebrated.
To learn more about St. Baldricks and how to support them, click here. http://www.stbaldricks.org/
THE CHILDREN’S MUSEUM
saturday, august 1, 2015 10am-2pm
BIG
TRUCK
DAY
maple avenue middle school, saratoga springs $5 child $1 adult
all proceeds benefit the children’s museum at saratoga. thank you to our generous sponsors!
Vince, Patty, Ron and Michele Riggi Platinum SPonSorS
GolD SPonSorS
The Fort Miller Group
Bidforyourbenefit
Lemery Greisler LLC
Name Bubbles The Saratogian
SilVEr SPonSorS Anonymous BlueShield of Northeastern New York Capital Bank
D.A. Collins Companies Local Union 773 Plumbers & Steamfitters
Mamatoga Casebolt Creative Mannix Marketing Design Studio · Saratoga.com
Merrill Lynch Principessa Elena Men’s Society SaratogaMama Teal, Becker & Chiaramonte
BronZE SPonSorS
Community PartnErS
Nigro Companies
First National Bank of Scotia
Price Chopper
Galarneau Builders, Inc.
Bill & Michelle Smith
Ral & Elissa Mazza
Wine & Liquor Shop of Malta
Bonacio Construction Fingerpaint Gleason, Dunn, Walsh & O’Shea, PC David & Shannon Martin
Noble Gas Company
Saratoga National CDPHP Bank Chauvin Family Saratoga Today Dentistry
Frank & Delores Parillo
Sneering Monahan Title Agency
Saratoga Eagle Sales & Service
Christopher & Sarah Ward
CMJ LLP Courtyard by Marriott Dan & Julie Fariello
Christopher & Margaret Noel
Service Tek
www.Mamatoga.com
artwork by emma, a 2nd grader from dorothy nolan elementary school
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favorite summer reads
When I think summer I think reading, be it a light and fun “beach read� or something deep to really get into. Here are your picks for a perfect summer read, plus the folks from Northshire Bookstore on Broadway in Saratoga share their favorite summer reads. 24 | MAMATOGA
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Bossypants by Tina Fey Hilarious and light read! - Samantha C
The Paris Wife Perfect summer reading. - Nicole K
Definitely a deep one...but I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban A real-life hero for girls all around the world! - Julia I
The Light Between Oceans - Jamie D
LOVED Girl on the Train. Also highly recommend The Night Circus. - Dianne
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah Such inspirational & strong characters, but get the tissues ready! - Denise C Gray Mountain by John Grisham Great read. - Andrea M Rumor by Elin Hildebrand - Margaret S
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers - Meagan I The Knockoff Just finished and loved it. - Heather S The Outlander series - Bridget K Me Before You by Jojo Moyes - Elizabeth K The Grown Ups by Robin Antalek A local author. - Debra N
Northshire’s picks… Start with The Invention of Wings, by Sue Monk Kidd. Northshire’s Jess Hanlon calls this a novel that she could not get enough of ! Set in the early days of the Abolitionist and Suffragist movements, this fast-paced historical novel will entertain and inspire. Jess loved both the scandals and the history.
Bookstore founder Barbara Morrow recommends The Truth According to Us, by Annie Barrows - coauthor of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society and author of the very popular kids' series, Ivy and Bean. Barbara says this is a break-out novel for Barrows that thoroughly engages with complexity of emotions, humor and intrigue. Jennifer Armstrong in the children's department says that many adult readers come looking for good young adult fiction, since it's typically shorter than adult literature. A book that has resonated with many adult readers who appreciate literary fiction is The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender, by Leslye Walton. It's lush and gorgeous magical realism, the story of three generations of women, the youngest of whom is born with wings. Bookseller Maeve Noonan says My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry, by Fredrik Backman, is perfect for a
poolside read - Elsa is almost eight, and her best friend is her 80-year-old globetrotting granny with wicked paintball skills. Insightful, raucous, perfect for the mom in M the middle of the sandwich. www.Mamatoga.com
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smoothie
to
ice pop
the coolest way to get kids to eat healthy Smoothies have been my go to for getting my sometimes picky children to eat something healthy. Occasionally I will sneak in some kale or spinach, and I always include some green powder, and they often wind up being the healthiest thing they eat that day. Now that it’s summertime and they are asking for ice pops for breakfast lunch and dinner I decided to take the smoothie up a notch by popping them in the freezer and making them ice pops! Here are our favorite recipes and tools to create these super easy (and healthy) summer snacks at home with the kids.
Sunshine Popsicles Ingredients: 3 large carrots, cut into chunks and steamed until soft 1 cup strawberries (fresh or frozen) 1 whole mango, sliced ½ cup plain whole milk yogurt ½ cup water 4 tablespoons organic honey Directions: Blend all ingredients until smooth and pour into popsicle molds and freeze until solid.
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Greenie Pops (gluten free and Paleo approved!) Ingredients: 1 cup of frozen mango ½ of a large ripe banana 1 cup of freshly washed, firmly packed baby spinach 1 cup of light colored fruit juice (a Pineapple Orange blend works great)
Berry Easy Yogurt Pops Ingredients: 1/2 cup nonfat vanilla yogurt 1/2 cup skim milk 1 cup frozen berries 3 5-oz. paper cups 3 ice-pop sticks Directions: Simply blend the ingredients as you would a regular smoothie and pour into paper cups with ice-pop sticks. Freeze until solid.
Directions: Blend all ingredients until smooth and pour into popsicle molds and freeze until solid.
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PREGNACY LOSS MISC ARRIAGE: the misplaced stigma by Carolyn Slatch, M.D. Carolyn Slatch is a graduate of Mount Holyoke College and Upstate Medical College. She did her residency training at Albany Medical center and she has practiced obstetrics and gynecology with Myrtle St. OB/GYN for 15 years.
T
he likelihood is that if you are reading Mamatoga, you are expecting a child or have children. There is better than even odds that you have also had one or more miscarriages, as have most women who have pursued fertility. Even more certain is the likelihood that miscarriage left you feeling isolated and abnormal as well as responsible for your miscarriage on top of grieving sadness. While the part of loss that is grieving is normal, the remainder of those assumptions are completely wrong. Miscarriage is tremendously common and almost never is related to anything you did, didn’t do, or could have done, nor is anything wrong with you. The per pregnancy first trimester miscarriage rate was said to be almost 30%, and that was before pregnancy tests became positive even prior to a missed period. With women recognizing pregnancy at such an early state, the loss rate may exceed 50% per pregnancy. The vast majority of these is due to a random error in the way the egg divides when it 28 | MAMATOGA
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is fertilized resulting in a chromosomally abnormal embryo which is incapable of developing. So why does it feel so isolating? Almost everyone I have to break this sad news to believes that they are the only one to whom this is happening. Currently our society is geared to presenting only the happy positive things in our lives giving people the sense that there is no other side to people’s experience. It is the Facebook phenomenon. Compounding this is the broad assumption that miscarriage is a personal failure. This is a circular phenomenon in that these perceptions and assumptions make women less comfortable in sharing their early pregnancy losses which in turn perpetuates the misperceptions. Miscarriage is an unalterable fact of human reproduction and does not make you a defective woman or a woman undeserving of children. Though horribly sad, you cannot alter it by thought or behavior. It is not the fact that you might not have wanted to be pregnant, the tylenol you took,
the box you lifted, the wine you had, the termination you had, or anything else in your life that led to early pregnancy loss. People often ask when they should tell people they are pregnant. My stock answer has been that she should tell whomever she would want support from regardless of how the pregnancy goes. Family and close friends certainly are appropriate to tell at any time. With miscarriage, you go through all of the stages of grieving that you would experience with any other loss. There is no such thing as “just” an early miscarriage. From the time you get a positive pregnancy test, you have visualized what your family will look like with this new person, formed a concept of what this baby would be like, planned your work/life schedule, and essentially created a full existence to incorporate this event. Whether loss occurs 10 minutes, 10 years, or 50 years after your positive pregnancy test, you will grieve and this is completely normal. You need friends and family to support you. Many of them will be able to commiserate with you. We would not expect anyone to undergo any other traumatic loss without support, nor should we. It is well documented that men an women grieve these losses in completely different ways. Though it is important to traverse this experience with your partner, it is also important to have a wider field in which to express yourself. Women still occupy a peculiar societal space. While moving forward with power in the workplace, we still so frequently define ourselves by our “womanly identities.” It is clear that woman still do the majority of housework and child rearing, and are judged both by ourselves and others by how well we carry out those tasks. Miscarriage hits at the heart of these insecurities. Internally, we are indoctrinated to feel like our fertility status is linked to our intrinsic identity, and any glitch in the system makes us less of a person. Until there is more understanding of the frequency and randomness of pregnancy loss, and public willingness to claim our losses, we cannot move forward. We all live in fear that saying we have miscarried will be responded to with disparaging or pitying silence. The reality is that the response will be a resounding round of, “me too.”
Miscarriage is difficult when you have had children because you feel like you have a more firm conception of what this baby will be. It is differently difficult when it is your first pregnancy and, no matter what your head knows, you feel like this could be your reproductive destiny. I have first hand knowledge of both of these situations. My first miscarriage happened when watching the movie Titanic. I was finishing my residency and knew all the facts, but still emotionally felt sad an worried. I subsequently had four healthy term births intermingled with several more miscarriages. We all feel like we have the ability to control the outcome. Like the person whose team won the game while they wore their lucky shirt, I never again went to the movies while I was in the first trimester of pregnancy. Crazy, right? Yet, some of those pregnancies went uneventfully and some did not. Ultimately I was able to understand emotionally as well as intellectually that these events occurred at the moment of fertilization and had nothing to do with me in the concrete sense. It is time that women come clean with their miscarriage experiences for themselves, for the women surrounding them, and for todays girls who are tomorrows women. Miscarriage is not your fault. It is not shameful. It is not failure. It does not increase your risk of miscarriage in your next pregnancy (though it doesn’t decrease it either). Fertility does not define you. Only through facts and communal honesty about our losses can we stop grieving in silence.
FRANCESC A’S STORY by Francesca Muratore
Tuesday September 30, 2014 at 2:07pm was when I was ushered into the room for my 37 week checkup. I was seen twice a week at this point because this was considered a high risk pregnancy. Besides this our little boy was doing great, every appointment showed him growing on point, heart rate was perfect, and the night before my husband and I spent it www.Mamatoga.com
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with our hands on my tummy admiring how many kicks we were feeling. We were excited to be parents for the second time within just 3 weeks. I was propped up on the bed for the usual stress test where they listened to the baby’s heart beat for 20 minutes. The nurse felt around; she wriggled me from side to side and managed to get a very faint heartbeat. She thought the baby was being uncooperative so she grabbed the doctor. The doctor listened to the faint beat while her hand was on my pulse (what I didn’t realize was that this beat we were hearing, was mine). She was deep in concentration for about a minute, and then suggested that we go to an ultrasound room.
As I walked down the white corridor to the ultrasound room, I began to realize that there may be something wrong. For this entire pregnancy I had been positive. When he was diagnosed with a rare chromosome disorder at 24 weeks, we were told to expect a child with mental and physical disabilities. I remained positive, and studied to understand how to give him the best quality of life. At 37 weeks pregnant I was prepared for the challenges ahead and just wanted to meet this little miracle. 2:23pm my sonographer came in the room, usually I was greeted with a huge smile. On this day, she made no attempt to make eye contact with me. The doctor followed and immediately was at my side and grasped my hand. I looked straight ahead at the wall and took a deep breath. As the gel was placed on my belly I said a silent prayer and looked toward the screen. The doppler moved around and there was the image of my baby boy. Some photos and measurements were taken and then finally, she made eye contact. She had a sad look on her face and began to shake her head as if saying “no”. There was no heartbeat. All I remember is letting out the loudest most painful scream I have ever made. My body was uncontrollably crying and I prayed that god wake me up from this terrible nightmare. My husband arrived looking lost, not knowing what to say, not knowing what do, we embraced as tight as we could, trying to console one another, trying to make sense of what just happened. Minutes when by and the doctor informed us of next steps. “We will admit you into hospital and induce labor, to deliver your baby”. EXCUSE ME! Deliver my baby? I wondered what cruel sick joke this was. Labor and delivery is hard when it’s a normal birth, but now you expect me to do this knowing that I won’t hear that first cry, knowing that he will be sleeping. It didn’t seem right, it didn’t seem fair. As I placed the hospital gown on I looked in the mirror of the small bathroom in the hospital room. I said yet again another prayer and began to talk myself through the next day. “Just keep breathing, just keep breathing”. I fell asleep through the night and in the morning I awoke to labor pains starting to kick in. I remember a nurse came into the
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room without reading my chart in front of the door. She had a huge smile on her face and said “Hello, I will be your beautiful baby’s nurse, once he or she is born, I will get him or her all pretty for you before giving them to you for your first feed”. I lost it; I don’t ever think I have yelled at anyone with so much anger before. Hours later the doctor came in, it was time to push. As I prepared myself mentally for the pushing suddenly a wave of emotions swept over my husband and I. With every push we both released an uncontrollable cry. The doctors were encouraging but for the most part tried to remain silent. This was not your normal delivery; there was no excitement, no joy, no camera on standby for the blessed moment.
they may have become. A little compassion goes a long way. Often when you experience a loss whether miscarriage or stillbirth, you will hear “It just wasn’t meant to be”, “Everything happens for a reason”, “He/She is in a better place”. All these things annoyed me to my core; I was often left thinking, what better place for my child to be, than with his mother? What reason can you think of that would make this seem ok? The one thing I never heard to this day was “I am here if you need or want to talk”. That is it. That is all it takes, sometimes I just wanted someone to listen to me, listen to me get angry, listen to me cry, listen to me talk about my baby boy, and not
October 1st, 2014 5:47pm my baby boy Marcus arrived, he was born silent and still. I remember the silence in the room; it was a painful, deafening silence. Having to say goodbye to your child before they are given a chance at life is gut wrenching. What is worse is having to return home empty handed and then having your breast milk come in with no baby to feed. The days afterwards were hard and long. I felt robbed of being a mother and more importantly I felt my baby boy was robbed of a life he deserved to live. As months went by I grew stronger, my husband and daughter were my everything. They taught me to smile again, laugh again, have faith again and even made me feel whole enough to be able to get pregnant again. Six months after delivering my son Marcus, I was eighteen weeks pregnant and faced yet again with having to say goodbye to a child as I suffered a miscarriage. My soul was shattered, and my already broken heart was now unrepairable. Grief, no matter how early in the pregnancy a miscarriage occurs is normal. A loss is a loss to a mother no matter what stage of the pregnancy she may have been at. I would hope others understand this and show compassion. Often people think a woman who already has a child isn’t going to be that upset if she miscarries. WRONG. Even with 4 or 5 children she will always wonder about that one she lost. Always think about how old they would be, what type of person www.Mamatoga.com
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say anything. I will commend a close friend of mine, when I delivered my son, she simply came over to my house with dinner for my husband, daughter and myself, she quietly cleaned a few dishes, and then said she would be back tomorrow with more food and left. Her actions told me that she knew there was nothing she could say to make me feel any better, but she was going to do these little things to let me know she cared. The one thing I would like to say to other women who may be experiencing something similar. You are not alone! So often I felt like everyone had moved on with their lives while I was stuck in no man’s land. Sadly, there are many that have walked the road before you and unfortunately there are many that will follow you down this dark path. Don’t ever feel like you must or need to suffer in silence. There are plenty of resources out there and groups that you can contact. If you feel alone, I would hope you read this article again and know that there is someone no far from you that knows exactly what you are thinking and feeling. You are part of club of strong, resilient women, some that have experienced this disappointment more times than they would like to count, but continue to try. Never lose faith, and most importantly remember that your partner or spouse is experiencing this loss too. Talk about it to one another, cry with each other, laugh with each other, do whatever it takes but doing it together is far easier than tackling this alone. The most important part of my healing was when I discovered yoga. I tried for the first time 6 weeks after delivering my son. I walked into the studio and literally was physically and mentally broken. I don’t know why I went there; I don’t how I got there to be honest. However, what I loved about it was something the instructor said when he started the class. “I want you to forget about everything going on outside of this studio, and just be here, right now, in this present moment, and I just want you to breathe”. So I did, I closed my eyes and began to breathe, and cry (yes, I cried in the class) and breathe. I went through the class not knowing what on earth I was doing, but I was breathing. I was breathing out all the tension, all the sadness, and I was inhaling life. A life that my son did not get to live, but one that in the past I may have taken for granted.
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I practice yoga regularly; it helped me through the miscarriage afterwards. It helps me manage my emotions, not hide, manage them. On days I am sad, I practice and I know it’s OK to be sad. On days I am happy I practice and think of sweet thoughts of my baby boy. You may not want to practice yoga, but find something that allows you to stop, breathe and focus. Focus on the positive (I know it’s easier said than done, TRUST ME), focus on your emotions, but don’t let consume or control you. Its OK to feel the things you feel but never lose sight of the goodness, let the good guide your healing. I have always loved being a mom, I love my daughter Juliana with every atom in my body, but after all I have experienced there was a huge a lesson that I learned. I appreciate EVERYTHING, every tantrum, every meltdown, every restless night. I love it. If my daughter wakes at 2am, even though I may have an earlier start to my work day, I spring out of bed and jump in the crib with her (the perks of standing just 5ft tall). I do this without hesitation because her waking up in the middle of the night means she is alive and thriving. It means I get a few extra minutes with her to cuddle and sing to her. My patience has expanded and more importantly, I love to watch her grow and explore the world. We climb trees, dance in the rain, we roll in the dirt with the prettiest of dresses on. Our days are filled with smiles and laughter. As a mother my priority is to give Juliana everything she needs to grow up appreciating the wonders of this lovely earth, as well being strong enough to handle the darkest days and turn them into her brightest stars. For those of you that may not have a living child, as a women, I like to think my purpose is to live the life that they did not get to experience, and secretly I like to think they are right here with me cheering me along the path ahead. In closing, I want to say to women that have experienced miscarriage, stillbirths or a loss of a child. I salute you, I honor you and I my wish for you is to find the strength you need to simply keep breathing. M
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Balloons don’t get cuter than this. Add some pop to your backyard barbecue with this watermelon and 4th balloon from the Oh Happy Day shop. While you’re there check out their summer tattoos, I am seriously coveting the bomb pop one.
STU
Sky lanterns are a summer tradition in our family, the kids can write a special wish or note onto the lantern before you set it up, and then watch as it drifts up into the clouds. Find them locally at Northshire Bookstore on Broadway in Saratoga Springs.
Don’t just go fly a kite, fly the coolest kite in town. Handmade Sailing Ship Kite, Lex and Cleo.
The cutest little tea set perfect for a 34 | MAMATOGA
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lazy summer picnic in the backyard with the BFFs. Lex and Cleo
UFF I LOVE Turkish towels will revolutionize your beach bag. They take up way less room than regular towels but do the same job, plus you can wear it as a cute summer scarf, a sarong, or cuddle up in one as a lightweight blankie. They are the best.
We love these hair wraps for some beach or pool downtime or for a rainy day activity.
Giant donut floatie?! Yes please! Big Mouth Toys Gigantic Donut Pool Float www.Mamatoga.com
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When I’m not wearing Jack Rogers I’ll be wearing some old school Adidas, some things never go out of style.
The absolute cutest thing to happen to your playroom, Oeuf ’s animal rabbit and bear chairs and play table (plus kids can customize them with the sticker set)
Give the kids room an easy and stylish update this summer just in time for back to school with the brand new wall decals from Name Bubbles, these removable and reusable wall decals can be repositioned again and again for complete flexibility. They are also easily removable to place somewhere else in your home. Name Bubbles
Saltwater sandals are as durable as they are adorable. I buy them in navy for my oldest daughter and they get handed down to my younger son, sturdy and cute, this classic sandal has that sweet retro look I love. 36 | MAMATOGA
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These squid diving toys are our favorite summer toy, plus they double as a baby toy (Talley is obsessed) SwimWays SquiDivers
I love the retro gingham on this outdoor picnic blanket from Little Unicorn from the Bundle Store. It has a permanent place in our car so we always have it on the go for the pool, the beach, an impromptu picnic, whatever and wherever. Little Unicorn Picnic Blanket, The Bundle Store.
The summer wardrobe isn’t complete without something from the Beaufort Bonnet Company. Their classic pieces are so wearable you won’t want to save them just for special occasions. The Talbot Tie Side is the absolute sweetest for little girls, and their knit summer dolls?! The cutest.
The Bonnie Beach Towel from the Beaufort Bonnet Company is a beach towel (with 100% cotton terry on one side and seersucker on the other) with seersucker ties. You can use the ties to make big bows on the lounge chair, oh and you can monogram it?! SOLD.
RMS raw coconut cream is a summer staple in my beauty bag. It’s the ultimate organic beauty product, the best makeup remover ever and I also use it as a facial cleanser and moisturizer. A mama multitasker must have. RMS Beauty www.Mamatoga.com
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july Saturday, July 4, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
Head to the 8th Annual Saratoga Springs All-American Celebration starting with the Firecracker4 Road Race at 9am and the All-American Parade & Patriotic Pooches at 11am. Then head to Family Day in Congress Park with live re-enactors, historic kids games, face painting, carousel rides, live music, food, and more! Swing by the carousel from 11:30 a.m. - noon to get your picture taken with characters from the parade!
Craft Time with the Learning Center at Healthy Living Market and Cafe Saratoga at the Wilton Mall in Saratoga Springs is today from 10-11am. Food & craft can come together in many ways, and not just as macaroni necklaces. This month, Healthy Living Market and Cafe is starting a brand new summer program for kids to explore the magical world of food crafts! You and your child can stop by their Café’s in-store seating area anytime between 1011am and make a fun, food-related craft with Kiya! All ages are welcome! This event is FREE and registration is not required!
Saturday, July 11, 2015 Frances Day at The Tang Teaching Museum at Skidmore College, 815 N. Broadway, Saratoga Springs from 12 to 5pm. Join them for the second annual Frances Day, a celebration in honor of the museum's namesake, Frances Young Tang, Skidmore Class of 1961. For the event, they open the doors to the greater Capital Region (admission is free), so everyone can explore the museum through tours, art-making, music, and more. Saturday, July 11, 2015 ParkFest 2015, the Town of Wilton's Annual Community Day, will take place from 11am - 9pm at Gavin Park in the Town of Wilton with rides, food, and fun on the midway. Plus, the racing pigs, a craft and vendor fair, a bicycle stunt show, custom & classic car show, Druthers beer tasting, dog agility and martial arts demonstrations, wine samples and more! Admission is free. Wednesday, July 15, 2015 At 6pm is American Girl Night at SPAC with the NYC Ballet. SPAC and American Girl Place proudly present their annual celebration for girls and their families. Girls can bring their dolls and experience an evening of music, pink lemonade, sugar cookies, free photo booths, special American Girl crafts, plus enter for a chance to win an American Girl doll. (All kids on the lawn $10 this night). 38 | MAMATOGA
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Wednesday, July 22, 2015 The Zucchini Brothers are playing two shows at the Saratoga Springs Public Library, 49 Henry Street in Saratoga Springs today. Admission is free. Winners of the NAPPA Gold Award and the Parents' Choice Gold Award, the Zucchini Brothers offer kids' music that is 100% healthy and 100% fun! So much fun you may not want to sit still! For ages 3 and older. No tickets required; space is limited. Two Shows: 11am & 1pm. July 24 & 25, 2015 The Hats Off to Saratoga Festival in Saratoga Springs, the weekend festival celebrating opening weekend at the Saratoga Race Course! Each year, the city comes together to celebrate the beginning of track season with live music, good company, and of course, hats! Over 4,000 attendees are expected as downtown Saratoga comes alive.
august Saturday, August 1, 2015 The Children’s Museum at Saratoga’s Annual Big Truck Day is today at Maple Avenue Middle School in Saratoga Springs from 10am to 2pm. The Children's Museum at Saratoga's largest family "Fun"draiser Big Truck Day lets kids come explore the many trucks. Proceeds from the event help support the museum's on going educational programs. Adult tickets $1, Children’s tickets $5. August 6-8, 2015 Saratoga Shakespeare Company presents The Comedy of Errors at Suzanne Corbet Thomas Amphitheater – Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs at 6pm. Performed outdoors on the lovely Suzanne Corbet Thomas Amphitheater stage, Saratoga Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors is sure to entertain. Performed by their Acting Apprentices and Interns, this classical mix of slapstick and the musical poetics of Shakespeare’s words will charm adults and children alike! Admission is free! Thursday, August 6, 2015 Eat Like a Superhero at the Saratoga Springs Public Library, 49 Henry Street in Saratoga Springs from 2-3pm. Presented by the Capital District Child Care Council, this workshop will teach you how to eat like a superhero! Tasty treats included! For children ages 5 and up with a caregiver. Please visit the Children's Room or call 584-7860, ext 305 to register beginning July 1, 2015. Admission is free.
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Saturday, August 8, 2015 Pixar in Concert at SPAC with The Philadelphia Orchestra will present an unforgettable film experience as it pairs with a longtime innovator in the field of animation to bring Pixar In Concert to SPAC on August 8, 2015. From the Toy Story trilogy to The Incredibles and UP, Pixar has forever changed filmmaking while giving us some of the most beloved characters in cinematic history. Now, Pixar is coming to you like you've never heard or seen it before: in concert with live symphony orchestra. This visually stunning, high-definition, multi-media family show features montages of memorable clips from every one of Pixar’s 14 films—including Cars, WALL•E, Ratatouille, A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, Monsters, Inc. and Brave—all accompanied by live symphony orchestra. Wednesday, August 26, 2015 The Stewart's Shops Ice Cream Eating Contest is today at the Saratoga Race Course, the coolest way to beat the summer heat, racing fans will come to the Spa spoon-inhand as they prepare to compete in the ultimate in chilly contests – the Stewart’s ice cream eating on. Contestants will be divided into three age groups - kids, teens and adults - as they battle to see who can down a pint of ice cream the fastest.
www.Mamatoga.com
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Ultrasound packages starting at $69.00! Schedule your appointment today!
518-583-0524 or online at: www.saratogababybumps.com
Mom Support: It takes a village by Teri Kirchhoff
“You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up instead of tearing each other down.” Unknown When I asked my Saratoga mommy friends about hot topics, I heard a lot about Mom on Mom judgment, Mom shaming…whatever you want to call it. And let’s not discriminate here, don’t worry Dads & non-parents, you’re included as well. Judgy McJudgersons come in all roles and statuses. We’ve all done it on some level. It happens. For those of you who are lucky enough to never cross a true hardcore Judgy, allow me break that nice bubble for you.
“she’s inconsiderate.” If she loads the kids in the car, then returns the cart, oh wow- “she left those kids in the car for a microsecond.” How about we offer to return the cart for her, especially if we are lucky enough to be “child free” shoppers that day! Judgys might say the busy activity packed mom is “over-working that poor child.” And oppositely, “That mom is not giving her child enough experiences. She should do more.” In reality, both moms simply perceive “Be an encourager. Take the mom on the playground quality time differently. Judgys make focused on her phone while her moms feel bad about things like The world has plenty child plays. Oh the eye rolls. Oh the putting their child in daycare, “that’s of critics already.” whispers. “That mom is absent. She’s terrible.” And not putting their child not savoring the precious moments in daycare, “they’re not socialized Dave Willis of her kid eating dirt and climbing enough.” Bottom line, we all try our the same slide over and over and… best. The career mom works hard, over.” How about maybe she’s working, misses her kids, and works hard again or sending pictures to her husband, or when she comes home. The stay-at-home maybe she’s just playing around and deserves mom works hard all day while dad works from that mental break. Unless there’s a situation of his job, she’s contributing just as much for the family. danger, let her be. Look at the mom in the grocery store The house is not less hers than his, the kids are not less his parking lot, struggling to load her kids and groceries in than hers. the car. If she doesn’t return the cart to the corral, oh my-
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Partnership, whatever you agree on is your way, which becomes the right way. At this very moment I applaud the mom who works from home. The amount of times I’ve been interrupted during the writing of this article is pretty hilarious. To me, the work from home parent is a super star! So, what can we do? What if we all worked on changing our go-to thoughts, our initial response to what we see. Challenging our thoughts during the interpretation of an event changes our emotions, which changes our behavior. We are then “Spread love left with the result... it everywhere you could be destruction of a relationship go. Let no one ever or the growth of a come to you without closer relationship. leaving better and We don’t know happier.” what this person has going on. It could be something Mother Teresa as serious as postpartum depression, marital struggle, sleep deprivation… or maybe this person is simply displaying human flaw. We all have our struggles, keep that in mind while you feed your thoughts on the parent handling a situation you deem as less than “perfect.” When offering support to a fellow struggling parent, you don’t need to have the answers, sometimes offering a nonjudgy ear is enough. To completely understand someone’s personal experience from their perspective is impossible, and that’s okay. Tell her you’re trying to understand as best you can. Validate her feelings. Being careful of the words should/shouldn’t is always smart. If she asks your advice, offer your thoughts and/or experiences. You’re offering it sensitively, and with the best intention. You’re not preaching. Add some humor, it’s incredibly healing. We have a great community of supportive moms and dads. I’m very grateful
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for my family and friends. We laugh at ourselves. We laugh with each other on the mistakes we make and the often outrageous things our kids do. Sometimes it’s nice to simply hear “me too.” We share the awful things and the wonderful successes… both embraced, not shamed. And sometimes, we don’t discuss our kids at all. We need that time too. This quote is one of my favorites. It may not be in what you say, but more importantly how you make others feel. Think of your relationships. Are they mutually beneficial? Do you each feel better, built up, happier after leaving a conversation? The people we choose to surround ourselves with have great impact on how we feel, and thereby how we act. If certain people continuously leave you feeling worse, insulted, just less than fabulous, it’s okay to set up some boundaries or limit your time with them. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people, just not healthy for you personally. It’s not easy to accept that some people are not good for you. Something
to keep in mind is that it very rarely has anything to do with you. People who continuously express negativity are oftentimes unhappy or struggling with something internally. We get one shot at this life, spend it with your true supports. You’ll find your supports are there to help without judgement during times of struggle, as well as jump at the chance to celebrate your successes. They have good intentions in all areas of your life. They build up your parenting confidence, your marriage, and celebrate even the smallest of proud moments. Paying attention to these details can help us to decipher who has the best intentions for us. In closing, try to think of if everyone did everything the same, what a dull world it’d be. We have so much to learn from one another, so many wonderful imperfections and differences to embrace. If you cannot be supportive, then do M nothing.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” Dalai Lama
What do you want your child to learn?
Our third grade class spends an entire week living, working, and learning on a farm. Imagine all the amazing lessons to be learned - most importantly, being independent and capable. What do you want your child to learn?
Learn more: waldorfsaratoga.org
PARTY SPOTLIGHT Saratoga Paint and Sip Studio
S
aratoga Paint and Sip Studio on Henry Street in Saratoga Springs was the perfect setting for a 7th birthday celebration. The birthday girl got to pick what she wanted everyone to paint and everything was all set up and ready to go, the kids just had to don their smocks and get started! Paintbrushes in hand, they had some helpful guidance from the Saratoga Paint and Sip Studio artist, and they also could let their artistic vision run wild and paint however they felt inspired. The beautiful sunny studio has plenty of room for parties, with space for pizza and cake after the masterpieces were created, and even more space for gathering around to open presents. Since everyone went home with their own personally created painting to hang up at home you don’t need goody bags (yay!) and it’s a special keepsake for each guest, as well as a special reminder for the party girl that all her friends came to help celebrate her birthday. Photography by Tracey Buyce
To learn more about birthday parties at Saratoga Paint and Sip Studio, click here. www.saratogapaintandsip.com
omyur mom style Adventures in Co-Parenting
Julie and Katie are Mom and Stepmom to the fabulous 13 year old Jackson. Together they co-author the column “Adventures in Coparenting”, which depicts the many humorous events and challenges that can arise when coparenting a child. For the summer issue I decided to sit down and see what these moms consider their summer staples for a special joint “My Mom Style”: Coparents Edition. Jenny: Describe your every day style. What are your go to items?
Julie: During the summer I love a comfy-cool cotton sundress with sandals. Also, bonus points go to a dress that has pockets. I LOVE dresses with pockets. My wedding dress had pockets. Jenny: Pockets! I totally agree! Pockets are a total selling point in a dress for me. Jenny: What are your favorite brands for yourself, and what are some of your favorite brands/shops for kids stuff ?
Katie: DeJonghe jewelry- Dennis and I have collaborated on many pieces, he’s very talented. But I should mention that Josh has amazing taste and has picked out most of my jewelry. As for clothing, I love Epice scarves and JBrand skinny jeans. Every single day all summer long I’m in a Julie: My style is all about comfort and simplicity. I'm a Vix Bia Tube Bikini, because they’re pretty much perfect. teacher and a mom, so I'm on my feet all day every day. I’m totally in love with Cosabella. I finally figured out Thus, heels or anything that inhibits my ability to jump up why French women have notoriously claimed that the on a desk and recite Juliet's monologue or play soccer with undergarment is more important that the outfit. Ditto that. my boys is out of the question. My go-to right now is my For my daughter I love the Lilly Pulitzer girl’s line. And cotton black maxi dress from Target. I can dress it up with JCrew for my boys- fun and simple. a sparkly chunky necklace if I'm feeling fancy, I can throw on a cardigan to get my teacher-chic-on, or I can just put it Julie: Oh, this might be a very boring answer. I like to use on and head outside to play tag. It's my multipurpose dress my time and money in the most efficient ways possible, so and now that I'm thinking about it, I should probably go when it comes to shopping, I tend to buy clothes for myself buy about five more. and the kids from the same three places- my triumvirate of cost-effective style, if you will. Those places are, in no Jenny: What is your go to outfit for a night out? particular order, H&M, Old Navy, and Target. The prices are right, the styles are on-trend, and with three boys, any Katie: Long flowing maxi dresses for date night with Josh. pair of jeans I buy, for them or for me, will end up having Skinny jeans and a cute fun top for a night out with the holes in the knees within a few weeks, so expensive designer ladies. brands just aren't in the cards for us right now. Katie: Better sit down for this one. Shorts. Tank top. Flip flops. Bikini. OH, and my full size men’s submariner. That goes on every single morning.
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Katie Nemer Jenny: What are your top beauty products for you? Favorite kids bath/health and wellness products?
Essence Coconut Hand & Body lotion- I can’t wear perfume so this has also become my scent.
Katie: My #1 by far is Saratoga Water directly from the State Seal Spring. I never leave home without it; pretty sure it runs through my veins. And yes, in my world it is a beauty product. For my kids I like anything by Burts Bees (the face wipes, diaper balm and body wash are a few Nemer family favorites). My personal essentials are Aveda Brilliant shampoo and conditioner, JCrew Sea Salt Spray, and Desert
Julie: I’m a simple lady. I buy my facewash (Neutrogena Pink Grapefruit Oil-free Foaming Scrub) from BJs in bulk just like my olive oil and toilet paper. My makeup routine takes about 2 minutes total to complete. Moisturizer, BB cream, bronzer, blush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, lip balm...and I'm out the door. Pantene Aqualight Weightless conditioner is my jam since my hair is so fine and looks oily if I use www.Mamatoga.com
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Julie Cox a conditioner that is too heavy. For the kids, I usually buy shampoo/body wash combos, preferably those that smell like coconuts. What doesn't like kids that smell like coconuts? One of my sons has an eczema issue, so Aveeno Eczema Therapy and Aquaphor are our go to products for him. Jenny: What are some of your favorite local spots (ie restaurant for a date night, shops you get kids stuff in, shops you like for yourself )? 52 | MAMATOGA
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Katie: We love Chianti. Every time Josh and I go in, it feels like an Italian family kitchen. Everyone looks up and says “Nemers! Bonjourno!” and before you know it our favorite cocktails are stirred and shaken. Mom tip- if someone with dark hair starts talking to you just say, “Nun capisco Italiano” and flash a brilliant smile. I heard it on a ‘how to speak Italian CD’ once, I have no idea what it means but it usually works for me.
As for local shops, my first ever pair of nice denim was a pair of Paper Denim jeans I purchased from Aggie’s on Broadway 11 years ago, and I still have that pair today. I love Encounter for scarves, dresses and jeans. I always enjoy a fabulous experience at Saratoga Trunk for that stunning track day ensemble. Silverwood is awesome for anything and everything. Zoe and I frequent Pink Paddock together, it’s a favorite mother daughter shopping trip and regularly when we go it’s upon Zoe’s request. And I really love stopping in at The National to see what’s new for Josh, and of course, Sloppy Kisses for my furry babies.
Julie: I love track season since it's such an exciting time to be in Saratoga, and taking my kids to eat breakfast at the track is my absolute favorite thing to do opening day. I also love Chowderfest and of course, the Victorian Stroll, both of which help make the long winter a little bit brighter! Jenny: If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one beauty item, what would it be? Katie: 120 foot fully stocked mega yacht with a copter pad and working crew. Oh, and a map. Maybe some duct tape.
Julie: The nights we manage to get out, we love Boca Bistro Jenny: So, that’s not a beauty product. and Sperry's for dates. We are also big fans of trivia night at Circus Cafe on Sunday nights. If we have a hankering Katie: But they are beauties. for BBQ, we'll head to Troy to grab some Dinosaur BBQ. However, any day, any time of year, if you give me a Roma's Jenny: Julie, same question… Italian mix sub, I'm a happy girl. Julie: If I forget to put on eyeliner, people will ask me My favorite downtown shops, and there are so many good ALL DAY if I'm not feeling well. Seriously. It is very ones to choose from, are definitely Northshire Bookstore disheartening. So I guess eyeliner. and Silverado. I would live in Northshire if they would let me, that's how much I love it there. Silverado's selection of Jenny: Has your style changed at all since having kids? beautiful handmade jewelry can't be beat. Katie: Totally. I’m way smarter now. See, after years of Jenny: What are some of your favorite Saratoga local events? ruining my designer denim fraying the bottoms in YMCA toddler gymnastics class, and popping holes in the knees Katie: My perfect Saratoga weekend starts bright and early during some intense kindermusik jump and fun exercises, I Saturday morning with a 5k race. My kids are my best finally learned that busy on-the-go moms should wear the cheerleaders, so we especially love the races that have kids designer destroyed denim throughout the day. Now that’s run funs so they can have a turn, and I can cheer for them too. practical. That followed by an egg sandwich at the Farmer’s Market (a Nemer family favorite) rounds the day our perfectly. I love Julie: Yes - because all of my clothes are now SO MUCH the ballet at SPAC on a cool summer night. Josh and I love dirtier than they used to be. Applesauce on my sleeves, grabbing cocktails with friends at the Fasig Tipton horse Oreo crumbs in my socks (don't ask), smears of strawberry auction in August. Also, if we wake up early enough in the on my (used-to-be) white blouse. If I can't throw it into morning, our family loves to grab coffee and bagels and walk the washing machine because my son just gave me a mudover to the Oklahoma track to watch the horses warm up pie-hug, then I'm not buying it. I'll take a filthy hug over during track season. It’s incredibly peaceful and beautiful. dry-clean-only any day. Until Preston starts instigating and throwing rocks at big brother Jackson, then it’s time to go! Anything at UPH Julie and Katie’s published work can be viewed at www. (Universal Preservation Hall)- keep an eye and ear out, this adventuresincoparenting.com. They can also be followed on M incredible place is coming alive before our very eyes! facebook and twitter. www.Mamatoga.com
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gimme S’mores are a summer favorite, and the classic graham cracker + chocolate bar + marshmallow is hard to beat, but we’ve rounded up these over the top amazing s’mores recipes to try out the next time you’re gathered around the campfire.
S’mOreos
These are super simple: carefully open the Oreo making sure not to break the cookie, place your roasted marshmallow between the two cookie halves, smush together gently and enjoy!
Peanut Butter Cup Cookie S’mores
Spread the bottoms of four chocolate chip cookies with fudge topping. Toast up your marshmallows until golden brown, turning occasionally. Carefully place a marshmallow and a peanut butter cup on each fudgetopped cookie; top with remaining cookies. Discuss the awesomeness of your creation while you devour them.
Dark Chocolate Strawberry S’mores
A slightly more refined twist on the classic s’more, replace the milk chocolate with some dark chocolate and add some fresh, thinly sliced strawberries between the graham crackers. 54 | MAMATOGA
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S’mores Dip Make this for a rainy movie night when sitting out by the fire gets washed out. No one will be complaining, I guarantee it. Ingredients:
1/2 tablespoon butter
1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips
15 jumbo marshmallows, halved Graham cracker squares
Directions: Adjust the rack to the center position of your oven and place an 8-inch cast iron skillet on the rack. Preheat oven to 450°F with skillet inside. Once oven is preheated, use a pot holder to remove hot skillet from the oven. Place pat of butter in the skillet and use a pot holder to hold the handle and swirl the skillet so that the melted butter coats the bottom and sides. Pour chocolate chips in an even layer into the bottom of the skillet. Carefully arrange marshmallow halves over the surface of the chocolate chips, covering the chocolate completely. Bake for 5 to 7 minutes or until marshmallows are toasted to your preference (keep an eye on those marshmallows!). Use an oven mitt to remove the skillet from the oven and allow to rest for 5 minutes. Serve immediately with graham cracker squares. The skillet and dip is very hot so take caution with little ones to make sure they don’t burn fingers! (You can also use an oven safe baking dish, but the chocolate melts more evenly with a skillet).
pregnancy to schoolkid
pages
57 pregnancy
tips to beat summer bloat
58 baby sun sense
60 toddler water safety
62 schoolkid dos and don'ts of insect repellent
pregnancy Edema, or fluid retention that causes swelling, particularly in your hands, feet, and ankles, can get worse in summer months. There’s usually nothing dangerous about it, but it can make you feel a little bloated and uncomfortable. To combat it, avoid excess sodium (ditch the salt shaker and processed, packaged foods, which are often high in sodium), stay cool, and drink plenty of fluids. As counterintuitive as it sounds, drinking water actually helps your body rid itself of excess fluid it's hanging on to. Be sure to prop your feet up as much as possible too, elevating them can also lessen swelling, so take a break once in a while and maybe encourage a foot massage too?
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baby
Sunscreen is OK to use on babies 6 months or older, but younger babies should use other forms of sun protection. The American Academy of Pediatrics, the Food and Drug Administration and the American Cancer Society have guidelines to consider when bringing baby out in the sun this summer: If your baby is 6 months or older, liberally use sunscreen and also avoid exposing your baby to the sun during peak hours — generally 10am to 2pm — and dress your baby in protective clothing, a hat with a brim and sunglasses (love the Babiator line). If your baby is younger than 6 months, keep him or her out of direct sunlight. Protect your baby from sun exposure by dressing him or her in protective clothing, a hat with a brim and sunglasses. When using baby sunscreen, apply sunscreen generously, and reapply every two hours — or more often if your baby is spending time in the water or perspiring. Consider using a sunscreen that contains only inorganic filters, such as zinc oxide and titanium dioxide like the Goddess Garden Baby SPF 30 Natural Sunscreen that uses nonnano zinc oxide (find it locally at The Bundle Store).
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Most children are drawn to water. It's sparkly. Things float in it. It's fun to splash. But water safety is no laughing matter. Anyone can have a water-related accident — even children who know how to swim. To keep your children safe in and near the water, follow simple water safety guidelines for pools and natural bodies of water.
POOLS Teach children to swim. Most children can learn to swim at about age 5 — but know that swimming lessons won't necessarily prevent a child from drowning. Supervise children closely, even when lifeguards are present Don't leave pool toys in the water. A child might fall into the water while trying to retrieve a toy. Keep your eyes peeled. Never leave children unsupervised near a pool or hot tub. During social gatherings, adults who know how to swim can take turns being the "designated watcher." Don't rely on air-filled or foam toys, such as water wings, noodles or inner tubes, to keep children safe.
NATURAL BODIES OF WATER Swimming conditions can be unpredictable in ponds, lakes, rivers and oceans and water depth can change rapidly, as can water temperature, currents and the weather. Plus, murky water might conceal unknown hazards. Follow these water safety tips: Never allow children to swim alone or without adult supervision. Wear a life jacket. Children should wear personal flotation devices whenever riding in a boat or fishing. An air-filled swimming aid isn't a substitute for a life jacket. Feet first: The first descent into any body of water should be a jump — feet first. Before the jump, check water depth and temperature and look for underwater hazards. At public beaches, swim only in areas set aside for swimming. Don't allow children to swim in any water-filled areas not intended for swimming. 60 | MAMATOGA
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toddler
schoolkid One of our favorites is the Badger AntiBug Balm Stick from the Bundle Store. The Natural and 100% Organic formula contains no DEET, petrolatum or other chemicals and independent lab tests show high efficacy – between three and four hours for mosquitoes & flies.
We also love the Mosquitno wristbands from The Bundle Store. They are rubber wrist bands infused with citronella oil that last for 6 days, up to 150 hours of exposure. They are all natural, safe, non-toxic, DEET-free, plus the kids love them because they glow in the dark!
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DOS AND DON’TS FOR USING INSECT REPELLENT Dos: • • • •
• •
Read the label and follow all directions and precautions.
Only apply insect repellents on the outside of your child’s clothing and on exposed skin. Spray repellents in open areas to avoid breathing them in.
Use just enough repellent to cover your child’s clothing and exposed skin. Using more doesn’t make the repellent more effective. Avoid reapplying unless needed.
Help apply insect repellent on young children. Supervise older children when using these products.
Wash your children’s skin with soap and water to remove any repellent when they return indoors, and wash their clothing before they wear it again.
Don'ts: • •
•
Never apply insect repellent to children younger than 2 months.
Never spray insect repellent directly onto your child’s face. Instead, spray a little on your hands first and then rub it on your child’s face. Avoid the eyes and mouth. Do not spray or apply insect repellent on cuts, wounds, or irritated skin.
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UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP
Clubhouse has recently undergone renovations to add AC, expand the bar and is now handicap accessible.
Lessons
McGregor Links Country Club offers golf lessons through our PGA Head Golf Professional, Ryan Callahan.
Dining and Events
2015 Membership Structure
Druthers at McGregor Links Country Club is a public restaurant that is open for lunch and dinner, year round and provides expertly prepared dishes. Druthers will be offering brunch on weekends. McGregorr also has the perfect setting for all of your special events, including company meetings, parties, rehearrsal dinners and more.
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