Iruka's Corner inordinate belief that the relationship may be renewed or revived. So, I stay committed and let them stay on the shelf. I also believe in second (and even third) chances, but I have realized that it may not always be the best option in this circumstance. There are relationships that no longer serve us well that we are reluctant to let go of. Expending energy on relationships that are not worth maintaining are exhaustingand can impact one negatively. It also encroaches on the time that can be devoted to true friends and relationships. You have probably heard the saying that some people come into our life for a reason, a season, or a life-
WINTER 2015
time and that we decide how long they stay. This sounds quite simple but it can be very difficult to sever relationship ties particularly if it is someone who was very close to you or had a positive impact on your life. If the loyalty gene runs through your bloodstream, you will not make the decision on who stays or who goes lightly. Embarking on an analytical decision tree process to make that determination can be very helpful.In addition to acknowledging your role in the breakdown of the relationship, some factors that may be considered are Length of the relationship– How long has this person been in my life? Understand-
ably, there are people who have been in our life briefly but have made a great impact. Thus, one cannot easily dismiss a relationship just because it is fairly recent. For long term relationships, consider its level of importance in your life and try to figure out when it went awry and what caused the shift. Shared Values–Do we still share the same values? As humans, we are constantly evolving and friends who had a lot in common can wake up one day and realize that they are on very different tracks. Trying to maintain a relationship with someone who does not understand or appreciate the journey you are on is challenging. You
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