above the waterline
Harry Potter and the Secrets of Seamanship Don’t let magic spoil the fun. BY DAVE WALLACE
I
was busy scrubbing down the teak deck of Dragon Lady one Saturday morning, when I noticed a studiouslooking young man sitting on our dock box observing my activity. When I asked what he was doing, he told me he was here to study the Great Lakes and confirm the legends he’d heard of their complex personality and the powers they possessed to either make or break a boating season—particularly a complex procedure known as “cruising.” I welcomed him to join me for an iced tea and the opportunity to show off my vast knowledge.
As he stepped aboard, he showed a particular interest in my labor-intensive teak deck cleaning chore. When I told him it had to be done every week, he pulled a curious looking twig from his belt and waved it over the deck while mumbling words I did not understand. To my amazement, that four-year-old, weather-beaten deck suddenly looked even better than it did the day we took ownership. Needless to say I was impressed, so I invited him inside to learn more, and to help him with his quest. He told me his homeland was surrounded by ocean, and that he never expected to see a body of fresh inland water with such an equally distant horizon. He wondered: How had we managed to navigate this vast space? 80 LAKELANDBOATING.COM S E P T E M B E R 2 011
I began by explaining the concept of latitude and longitude, the role played by the compass and the recent miracle of satellite navigation. As I spoke he pointed his strange twig in a northerly direction and a perfect, three-dimensional, high definition image of Beaver Island appeared directly off our bow. “You mean something like that?” he asked. “Something like that,” I replied, “but in a boat, you have the challenge of getting to that place over hundreds of miles of open water.” “How could that be a challenge?” he asked innocently. I refilled our iced tea glasses and tried my best to make sense of our complex Great Lakes weather system. “These waters can transform themselves from hot, fly-attracting flat calm, to vicious, white-capped fury in a matter of moments. And, unlike the steel ships of the ocean, these fiberglass pleasure boats can be tossed about like toys, while terrified crew are inspired to toss their most recent meal.” “You obviously don’t possess the proper cruising technology,” my friend suggested. He waved his twig again, and the oppressive July heat was modified by a gentle northerly breeze. The open water developed a pleasing, 12-inch wave pattern—just enough to make the cruise interesting without rocking the boat. This business with the twig seemed like magic, so I asked how he developed this incredible source of power. He told me an unbelievable story of a special school, where especially gifted boys and girls spend four years learning the techniques of the “dark arts.” He then suggested that in spite of my advanced age, he might have enough influence with the faculty to get me enrolled. If I succeeded in having what it takes to graduate, I could return with absolute power over these vast inland lakes, and turn every cruise into an idyllic experience. I thanked him for his generous offer, but declined it as gracefully as I could. He was amazed… and wondered why. In my heart I knew he could never understand this decision, but as a lifelong resident of the Great Lakes region, a perfect cruise with no surprises would wipe out the challenge and spoil the fun… totally. DAVE WALLACE has been boating in the
Great Lakes for more than 35 years. He’s written for Lakeland Boating since 1993 and helped develop the first edition of Lakeland Boating’s Ports o’ Call cruising guides. ILLUSTRATION BY MIKE HARRIS