Nothing Standing in Her Way Words by Emily Carmen 2003 was the year I almost died. My heart rate had plummeted enough for me to black out. For five years, I suffered from extreme pains in my limbs, which made it impossible to walk. My weight dropped drastically to a nearly life threatening low. Finally, after being repeatedly misdiagnosed and almost having to have a pacemaker put in, I was diagnosed with Porphyria, a rare metabolic disorder. Little did I know that the frustration and fear of my disease would inevitably show me my strength. Porphyria, my kryptonite, reconnected me with my one true love—music—a love that would neither fail nor ever leave me. Seven years ago, I was forced to leave Berklee College of music and return home because of my health. The decision meant putting my life and dream of being a composer on hold. For five years, I was in and out of hospitals and extreme pain. I found solace in listening to my favorite artists, subconsciously taking notes of the musical composition 12 | INSIGHT
and the innuendos in their lyrics that would inspire my own. How Freddie Mercury established simple piano melodies within the harder rock tunes of Queen songs, or Kurt Cobain’s guitar and harsh singing style as he verbalized the pain I could no longer describe. Mercury’s lyrics to “Keep Yourself Alive” and “Who Wants to Live Forever” made me not want to give up, while Cobain’s “Something’s in the Way,” triggered a deep longing I had for my violin. As my body’s healing ensued, my guitar became my physical and emotional best friend, leading me to write my first recorded song “Something’s.” I composed the track in the studio my father built for me in our basement. There, within the comfort of my own home, I could strum the cords of my guitar, play my violin, mess around with the electric drum kit and SONAR recording software. “Something’s standing in my way / so instead I think today / that I’ll just walk away,” were lyrics I wrote born out of my frustration with my