a few. They’re not all gone though. I’m starting the endangered monsters list to raise awareness and I’m putting Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni right at the top. Sometimes the hard scientific truth is just as entertaining and laughable as the best jokes, although you might have a hard time laughing at a colossal squid if it were staring you down with a set of dilated eyes the size of dinner plates. Dr. Steve O’Shea of the Auckland University of Technology, arguably the most notable and high-profile researcher of mollusks (perhaps the only well known mallacologist among laymen) has said, “It really has to be one of the most frightening predators out there” in an April 2003 BBC article .5That was five years ago and Dr. O’Shea was referring to the colossal squid specimen captured in the Ross Sea off the coast of New Zealand that year. The 2003 specimen is 6 meters long, or almost 20 feet; by way of comparison, a large SUV is only around 4.5 meters long. The frozen creature captured 2007, mentioned previously, is an entirely different league. In natural habitat, around 3,000
in in its to
4,000 feet below the surface, most creatures survive the 1,600 plus pounds of pressure per-square-inch simply by being small. The colossal squid is a leviathan by comparison. Before humans, its only natural predator was the sperm whale, and even then the squid could put up a fight; whalers often find scars on the backs of sperm whales that they attribute to the oversized beak of the squid. Some experts claim, “Thanks to rising temperatures, squid and octopuses are gradually becoming larger… The upside of global warming is that we could soon be enjoying meaty calamari rings as large as tractor tires.”6 It’s hard not to picture a plate of calamari portioned like a Flintstones-style Brontosaurus burger. By the way, there is a difference between giant and colossal squid. The giant is long and thin, and the colossal variety is larger with razor-sharp hooks on the ends of its tentacles; the colossal is also more aggressive. Until now, the specimen captured in 2003, a colossal squid, was the largest specimen scientists had seen the recently captured colossal
squid specimen is nearly twice the length. In November 2004, Peruvian authorities seized 700 keys of cocaine hidden in 25 tons of frozen giant squid. Seven individuals were arrested in connection with the drugs;7 the frozen squids were detained for questioning. In that same year, Japanese scientists captured images of a giant squid as it attacked attached to special bait hooks bait on a camera. The scientists proceeded to tear one of the squid’s arms off and reel it in after taking the beauty shot. Architeuthis and Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni (giant and colossal squid), as they are referred to in both the scientific and Latin communities, are in no way camera-shy. The monsters have been spotted numerous times before. There is the film 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and the Jules Verne novel from which it was adapted. The Beast, by Peter Benchley, was also written into a 1996 made-for-TV movie – which received less than stellar reviews – as well as countless more Hollywood attempts to capture an
5 Ibid 6 Moore, Paula, “Giant Squid is Evidence of Trouble to Come.” American Chronicle, March 9th 2007. http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/ viewArticle.asp?articleID=21858 7 BBC News, “Peru Drugs Hidden in Giant Squid.” BBC News Online, November 16th, 2004. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4016291.stm 42
I love you. You’re seriously better than Iron Man. That’s right; Iron Man.