CABINET
A Company Animal By Jorge Dorantes
If it is certain that about eighty percent of the oxygen in the atmosphere is produced by marine algae and the other twenty is produced by trees and plants, it would be quite safe to assert that about eighty percent of the unconditional love that flows on Earth comes from dogs. The dog has rightfully been classified as a companion, which is more than can be said about many of us, humans. Everyone —from Jeffrey Dahmer “The Milwaukee Butcher “ or Justin Bieber, to Ronald Reagan, Fher Mana, Muammar Gaddafi, Arjona and even Hitler—, no matter how despicable they are or were, can fully know they’ve been loved without judgment or claims or conditions whatsoever, if they ever owned a dog. The canis lupus familiaris, its scientific name, is a subspecies of the wolf, and some theories say that beyond being domesticated by man, dogs became domesticated on their own, approaching man and making themselves necessary. Proof of their success in becoming essential can be found observing guide dogs for the blind, shepherd dogs, farmer dogs, military dogs, dogs who detect explosives and drugs, rescue dogs, hunting dogs, police dogs, sled dogs... There are fossils that indicate that the ancestors of modern dogs were already associated with humans a hundred thousand years ago, and their adaptability is such that despite being carnivores, today most have resigned themselves to eating kibble. They are even capable of something known as intelligent disobedience, which means that a service dog will go against the will of its owner to avoid them making the wrong decision. Yet there is another obvious canine contribution, which is what it has brought to the field of language as metaphor. Here is a brief and modest compilation of expressions dogs have granted us as concepts.
“Vida de perro” (Dog’s life) —
Of course, when this phrase was coined, the case of Duchess, the Chihuahua who inherited a mansion and twelve million dollars was yet unknown.
“De a perrito” (Doggy style) —
Definitely an invaluable contribution to both our lives and the porn industry.
“Perro” (Dog) —
In some social circles it’s a slang word for cocaine. If you hear someone in a bar ask, “did you bring the dog along?” they’re probably not referring to a
The dog has made man their God, if the dog was an atheist, it would be perfect. Paul Valéry
If you want to teach a dog something, the first thing you need to know is more than the dog. Roberto Gómez Bolaños
Neapolitan Mastiff.
it was then that he felt like a dog on the freeway it was then that he felt like a dog on the freeway confused by beliefs, religions and science stunned by the noise lost inside just a broken record with hysterical volume not knowing which way to go... like a dog... like a dog... on the freeway. Rockdrigo Gonzalez hit the nail on the head of all the city’s inhabitants with this metaphor that already floated in the city’s air.
In Spanish it means pretty much the same thing, although it adds the meaning of “a woman or gay man with a forked tongue.”
Modest form of classism, where the individual agrees to being a dog like the others, only of another breed.
Bitch —
“La perrada” —
People who usually buy the cheapest concert tickets: “I sat up there with the perrada”. Also used with an abbreviation that is, perhaps, more stark: the perradita.
“Perrear” —
Simply known as grinding in English, it is to the lambada what Hustler is to Playboy. And who better to explain the term than Daddy Yankee in the beautiful verses of Move and perrea: “RARF, RARF, RARF, RARF, RARF, RARF ... Move and perrea, sandunguea, kiss, dance, shake your cat…”.
“Hambre de perro” (Hungry as a dog) —
We’ve all felt it and there’s no better way to put it.
“Como perro en el Periférico” (Like a dog on the freeway) — Expression immortalized by prophet and national urban rock pioneer, Rockdrigo, in the song he gave this title to and whose lyrics read: It was just a representation only an act of theater a simple assimilation of time and space since birth his guts were varnished his head was filled with lies customs that like spiders trapped him in their nets and vermin he grew up believing to be normal with all the right buttons beating the animal in the fourth and fifth paragraph but one day he flew and looked out from above at all the clutter of the spherical hubbub 133
“Hasta entre los perros hay razas..” (Even among dogs there are breeds...) — “Echar los perros” (Set the hounds loose) —
A phrase denoting upfront seduction with no misinterpretation, almost like pups who cling to the leg of the unsuspecting visitor. Well, that or the activity conducted by the vigilantes of some prisons where inmates seek to unilaterally shorten your stay at the underground facilities.
“Perro que ladra no muerde” (Barking dogs never bite) —
Popular saying that must have caused some casualties, because in reality there are many dogs that bark and bite.
“Andar de pata de perro” (Doglegging) —
Rednecky but endearing way to define the laziness of the person to who someone is referring.
“Defender el peso como un perro” (Defend the peso like a dog) —
Don Jose Lopez Portillo, former Mexican president, will be remembered well beyond the grave with this memorable quote, which was completely misunderstood at the time, as we thought it meant that he would defend the peso like a fighting hound, when in fact meant that he would run to hide the money in his backyard, like a dog would a bone.
“El famosísimo perro de las dos tortas” (The infamous “two - cake dog”)—
Unbeatable, brief and succinct story that portrays a moment of the human condition that will not be repeated over time and life. Exceeded only now in these times of information overload, by the hundred-cake dog.