a negative trend develops. We see this in some organisations where the whole staff, from the MD down to the tea lady, is rude to each other. How often have you gone into a shop and sensed a negative atmosphere? It can be the tone of voice or facial expression of the shop assistant. The nonsense of it all is the misconception that negative effects of modern life are inevitable, and that what we have created we must endure. Humans are ‘their own worst enemy’ and yet there are simple solutions to 90% of the problems which are of the self induced variety. For an example, when you meet up with a rude shopkeeper, telephone operator or taxi driver, what are your reactions? Fifteen people out of twenty react in one of the following ways:1) Give him a piece of your mind in anger (when you take your anger home with you!) 2) Feel inwardly upset and depressed (when you take your depression home with you! ) The above reactions propagate negative feelings like a virus, and you are likely to take them out on your family, the cat or the next person you meet. If you are sensitive you will just feel miserable. What you need to do is to practice reacting in a sympathetic way to people who are rude, as though they had ‘toothaches of the mind’ and you were there to soothe the pain. The following scenario may help those intent on becoming a DIY ‘mind soother’:You are trying to park your car in a narrow space when your bumper lightly engages the one behind you. The driver leans out and says ‘can't you bloody drive’? Your reply could be: ‘Somebody has upset you this morning for you to be so rude. No damage has been done whatsoever. Try to be more pleasant, it costs so little. Take care!’. But many would reply with an obscenity, when both parties would be stressed with anger. One must learn to be a ‘peacemaker’ which negates a tit for tat reaction to such behaviour. People are unpleasant, rude, cynical and unkind because they have usually received the same treatment at some stage and they are ‘getting their own back’. But to react with sympathy, when one is on the receiving end of such unpleasantness, is difficult, because it has been engraved in one's mind
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