The L Word Fanisode eZine
Commemorating the groundbreaking fan-powered "Fanisode" in which fans of The L Word collaborated with the creatives behind the show and each other to write an original episode. The eZine includes the complete Fanisode script, a special message from The L Word creator, bios on the winners and more!
CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT a fanisode contents MAIN FEATURES 4 10 36 A WORD FROM ILENE CHAIKEN The woman behind your favorite series discusses the online event that changed "mass media" into "media by the masses." THE COMPLETE SCRIPT "Lost Link" written by The Fans SCENE CONGENIALITY Discover the best of the Fanisode's "Scenes from the Attic." THE L WORD: A FANISODE, SPECIAL COMMEMORATIVE EZINE PUBLISHER: FanLib Inc. ART DIRECTION & DESIGN: Tam Nguyen GRANDSTAND DESIGN INC. 525 W. 52nd Street New York, NY 10019 tel. 212.206.7930 ADVERTISING SALES: Please email firstname.lastname@example.org FANISODE WEBSITE: http://LWord.FanLib.com/ or http://www.LWordFanisode.com/ OFFICIAL WEBSITE FOR THE L WORD: http://www.SHO.com/LWord/ POWERED BY FANLIB FanLib is driven by a simple idea — People Powered Entertainment. Our unique software and services unleash the creativity of entertainment fans and keep our customers at the forefront of entertainment, marketing and technology. For more information, please contact email@example.com Visit www.FanLib.com to learn more about FanLib and the patent-pending massively social storytelling™ technology that made The L Word - A Fanisode possible. THE L WORD®: © 2006 SHOWTIME NETWORKS INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FANLIB® (PATENT PENDING) AND FANISODE™ ARE TRADEMARKS OF MY2CENTENCES® LLC © 2006 DEPARTMENTS 5 6 8 32 33 34 50 52 WHAT’S THE STORY? THE WINNING WRITERS EVENT RECAP FANISODE IN THE NEWS OUR SCRIPT MODERATOR SCENE MISSIONS PRIZE SHOWCASE FAN CREDITS a word from Ilene Chaiken L WORD CREATOR & EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DEAR L WORD FANS, It's almost impossible to overstate how important you are to this show. From the moment The L Word first premiered back in 2004, we, the writers, producers and actors, became engaged in a great, fun, important conversation with you, the viewers. You came at us enthusiastically with your reactions, your objections, your ideas, passions, preferences and opinions as to whether or not we were adequately and authentically representing the way that we live. We welcome it. We're well aware that before The L Word we were invisible. Our lesbian lives, the richness and diversity of our experience, was virtually unrepresented in the popular culture. We know how privileged we are to be the ones entrusted with the opportunity to put our stories forward before the world. And, we know as we plot these stories, that there are so many more ways to tell them, so many other stories still to tell. So, this year, just before the premier of season 3, we invited you, the fans, to become our creative collaborators. Using a new internet technology from a company called FanLib, we established a website where we could all join together, collectively and democratically, to write an original L Word episode. We called it a “Fanisode.” I'm told it was the first time anything like this had ever been tried and, as you’ll see in the “Press Roundup” section, it caused quite a sensation. First, we asked you to select a basic storyline. By voting for one of our six I 4 the L word a fanisode suggestions, you elected to fill in the missing six months between the end of season two and the start of season three. Next, we posted a series of weekly writing assignments called our "scene missions," each laying out a few key plot points for a section of the story. Each week, fans submitted their 2-3 page scenes, and even more fans came to read and vote on them. Around seven weeks later, we had seven winning writers who wrote seven winning scenes, each elected by popular vote and daisy-chained together into our completed Fanisode script. Including writers and voters, almost 20,000 of you participated in its creation. We gave away loads of great prizes, like props from the show and shopping sprees from Saks Fifth Avenue, and our winning writers even got a little taste of fame. Not only were they profiled on the website, several of them made it into the pages of their hometown papers. And, to top it all off, our grand prize winner, Jan Naugle, won a writer’s coaching session with yours truly. The Fanisode script itself is a real winner too. It’s amazing how much undiscovered talent is out there. And, while it’s not quite practical to actually shoot and produce the Fanisode script right now, we’ve published it, along with a bunch of other great features, right here in this official eZine. But, just like Alice’s relationship diagram in the show, what’s most important with all of this are the connections between us. The L Word is a reflection of the way we live. And, the more we can connect, the truer that reflection can be. That’s why for our next online fan event we’ll shine the spotlight even more brightly on you, the fans. This Fall, together with Showtime and the folks at FanLib, we’re inviting you tell us about your lives -- your friends and lovers, your work, your family, in short, your “L” world. If you’re one of the winners, you’ll be visited by a Showtime film crew and featured in the next DVD. It’s going to be another truly groundbreaking fan experience and I’d love you to be a part of it. Just visit lword.fanlib.com for more details. The fans are the heart and soul of The L Word and I want to thank you all for embracing the show as your own and giving us the chance to continue discovering these wonderful characters and exploring the ways we live and love today. Thank you very much and I hope you continue to enjoy the show. Sincerely, Ilene Chaiken, creator & executive producer the L word lword.fanlib.com the heart of the matter Season 3 picks up 6 months after the end of Season 2. How did our characters get to where they are? In this episode Bette and Tina bring Angelica home, Dana breaks the news to Alice, Shane and Carmen take the plunge and Jenny meets Moira at a Skokie gay bar. SCI FI STYLE t's the Fanisode's guiding principle: To democratically tap into the collective genius of the fans. So, a couple of weeks prior to the event's official start, we asked Ariel Schrag (our intrepid moderator and L Word staff writer) to suggest a bunch of ideas for what the fanisode should be about, then invited you to vote for your favorite. Your response was overwhelming. Thousands of fans resoundingly decided to collectively tell the tale that answers the burning question: "What the heck happened in the 6 month gap between seasons two and three? Here are the full results... 5.2% WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN SEASONS 2 & 3? 2.8% WHAT'S THE STORY? I 46.4% Something strange has come over LA. It's the middle of Season 3 and suddenly each character possesses a supernatural power! Bette is psychic, Tina can fly, Dana has superhuman strength, Alice can turn invisible, Jenny can read minds, Shane has x-ray vision, Carmen can change her form, Kit can communicate with the dead, and Helena is a witch. THE RUNNERS UP 2.4% LOBSTERS - THE NEXT DAY Episode 3 has just ended where do our characters pick up from here? THE WINNING STORY PREMISE HOLIDAY SPECIAL Christmas and the first night of Hanukkah fall on the same day and each of our characters receive unusual visitors. Marcus the sperm donor wants to meet Angelica, Alice and the infamous Gabby Deveaux wreak havoc on Dana and Lara, Shane gets a phone call from her long lost brother, and Jenny contends with an angry someone who Moira left behind. 18.5% MOVIE PREMIERE Helena's movie studio has produced Jenny's novel into a major motion picture. The whole gang attends the lavish LA Premiere where relationship tensions come to a head. Especially for Jenny when Marina shows up. lword.fanlib.com COMMENTS ON THE STORY POLL 24.7% VALENTINE'S DAY Everyone wants this one to count, but the day of love leads to unexpected liaisons. Bette and Tina go on a romantic Hawaiian getaway, Dana feels pangs of remorse for Alice, and both Shane and Moira try to create the perfect at-home evening for their girls â€“ unfortunately under the same roof! This is quite simply awesome -- a very creative concept!!!" - hapuna6irl "I think we should write what happened between the seasons since that way it won't conflict with the actual show. I can't believe the real writers will read this!!" - sarah1 "...I voted for the sci-fi concept. First, I want Dana to have superhuman strength because I do not want her to die off of the show from cancer." - beautifulstranger103 the L word a fanisode 5 meet the winning writers ROUND 1: ROUND 2: ROUND 3: ROUND 4: WINNING SCENE WINNING SCENE WINNING SCENE WINNING SCENE Just Call Me Crazy! Those Lips, Those Lies The M Word Light of Day Luna & Renee Foxx (alias "Ratgurrlz") from New Jersey Married in Massachusetts in 2004, Renee and Luna are domestic partners residing in New Jersey with "100+ ratties, 5 ferrets and 4 cats." As freelance writers, it was writing that initially drew them together. They watch The L Word religiously and admire its matter-of-fact depictions of "strong women who represent glbt in a positive light." 6 the L word a fanisode Ervin Anderson (alias "ErvinV") 34 year old from southern New Jersey Not entirely new to writing, Ervin recently completed a novel, The Apocalyptic Guide to Dating, and hopes to have it published soon. The self-proclaimed "geek, but not a nerd" manages a small comic book shop and will soon be living in "sinful bliss" with his girlfriend Alyssa and "somewhat snooty" cat, Prometheus. Tess Whitehurst (alias "Tess") 43 year old lesbian from the "gorgeous Outer Banks" of North Carolina From rocking the house to riveting readers, Tess is no stranger to pleasing a crowd. In her 20s she was the lead singer in a girl bar house band and went on to live the electrifying life of an indie singer/songwriter/ musician. Recently relocated from Minneapolis, today she enjoys the company of her lesbian friends who are "like family, very much like The L Word." Leslie Samenuk (alias "leslie") from "funky and fabulous" Cleveland Heights, Ohio In the mid-80s, with a "passion for writing" and suitcase full of leg warmers, Leslie moved to LA where she dabbled at screenwriting while working in marketing/PR. Today, she says the Fanisode has "renewed her passion" for writing. Each Saturday morning, she and her husband Jim, along with their eloquent Lhasa Apso, Goldie, collaborate on her weekly scene. lword.fanlib.com ROUND 5: ROUND 6: ROUND 7: WINNING SCENE WINNING SCENE WINNING SCENE Lamentations Game Over Confrontations and Broken Hearts Victoria Weber Villareale (alias "Toriaweber") 29 year old from central Florida Kate Juneau (alias "tonys_love_2003") 24 year-old from Michigan Jan Naugle (alias "Jaroo9") from Colorado Living "in the shadow of Pike's Peak" with her cat and two dogs, Jan is a naturopathic physician. She moved to the Mountain State two years ago so she could "cycle, backpack and mountain bike." Plus, she's finishing a novel and learning the sax. Whew! And I'm pooped just from typing that! She even squeezed her scene in flying back from the L Word book signing. Jan also won the grand prize mentoring session with L Word creator Ilene Chaiken. lword.fanlib.com As a TV news producer, Tori may be a media vet, but "this is the first time [she has] written anything in script form." She lives with her two dogs and a husband who "not only puts up with [her] L Word mania, but also watches." You mean he even sits through the sex scenes? Tori also enjoys photography, journaling and helping to remodel her house. Kate (pictured left) truly is "Tony's love." She says that without her husband's steadfast encouragement she never would have submitted. Currently a stayat-home mom, Kate is studying to become a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. We say "hooray!" as long as she never extinguishes those creative sparks! the L word a fanisode 7 2/3/06: a fanisode is born he first round has begun." With those simple words, posted at lword.fanlib.com on Friday, February 3rd, 2006, history was made. Over the next eight weeks, thousands of passionate L Word viewers, along with many of their friends and family members, flocked to the web to be a part of the first television episode written by, of and for you, the fans. After debating and rating potential storylines (see pg. 4), the groundbreaking collaboration was underway. Ariel Schrag, an accomplished L Word staff writer, served as our creative guide. Each week, based on the consensus storyline, she posted a new "Scene Mission" with key plot points. Hundreds of short scenes were then submitted by imaginative fans and rated by thousands more. At the end of each week when final voting drew to a close, the collective favorite, as determined by the ratings, was elected into the script. Major news outlets including USA Today, CNBC, The New York Times and Business Week heralded the event as the dawning of a new age of mass media in which the masses help make the media. Weekly scene-writing champs became fan-celebrities basking in their own fifteen minute share of the limelight -- a powerful potential stepping stone to professional screenwriting success. Along the way, participants were showered with prizes. Not only the winning scene submitters, but runners-up and voters as well. Premiere sponsor Saks.com kicked-in thousands of dollars in shopping sprees at the glamorous retailer. Publisher Simon Fireside gave away books. Fox Searchlight, movie merchandise. Love and Pride Jewelry donated beautiful pieces from their "L Word" jewelry collection. Showtime dug into the L Word production vault to come up with pieces of wardrobe and autographed scripts as well as gift certificates to the Showtime store. LendingTree and The W Las Vegas helped out as pure sponsors. And, L Word creator/writer/producer Ilene Chaiken gave the priceless gift of time and wisdom in an online mentoring session with our grand prize winner Jan Naugle from Colorado. On March 31st, after the final round of submitting and voting, 20,000 members had contributed over 1,200 individual scenes, written 30,000-plus comments and cast more than 124,000 votes. Most importantly, the final script that emerged is far more than the hit-or-miss assemblage of amateur ramblings that some may have expected. On the contrary, with a little polishing courtesy of Ms. Schrag, the first-ever fanisode is a showcase of genuine talent and creativity, and a true testament to the power of the people. Discover it for yourself on the pages that follow and stay tuned for more fantacular Fanisode fun in the months to come! "T 8 the L word a fanisode itâ€™s your fanisode... so whatâ€™s the title? You wrote it, so it only seems right that you have a say in its name! After receiving more than 200 responses, Ariel Schrag, our script moderator, chose "Lost Link" submitted by Karma Nutter to be our winning Fanisode title. As our winner, Karma receives an L Word script autographed by Ilene Chaiken and a copy of "The L Word : Welcome to Our Planet" published by Simon Fireside. Thanks to Karma and everyone else who helped with the naming! WINNING TITLE: Lost Link Submitted by: Karma Nutter (alias "Knutter") RUNNERS-UP: Latitude, Longitude Submitted by: Natazia Montesino (alias "thecapricorn") Limited Time Offer Submitted by: Natazia Montesino (alias "thecapricorn") Look Ma No Hands Submitted by: Tess Whitehurst (alias "Tess") lword.fanlib.com The L word a fanisode The Complete Script “Lost Link” Story and Editing by BETTE (grinning) She has your ears. TINA Sure she does. Has everyone seen her yet? Bette sits down next to Tina. BETTE Yes, they have, but you are the first and the last face she has seen since she came into the world. ROUND 1 TINA I feel amazing. Different in a way., Ya ya know? FADE IN: I do, too. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY TINA I wish they would’ve put me near the window. Ariel Schrag (The L Word staff writer) Title Submitted by Karma Knutter BETTE Tina is lying in bed holding Angelica. Bette enters holding flowers. Bette looks at the curtain behind her. Written by TINA (looks up smiling) Luna and Renee Foxx, Ervin Anderson, Tess Whitehurst, Leslie Samenuk, Jan Naugle, Victoria Weber Villareale, Kate Juneau and Thousands of collaborating fans of The L Word 10 the L word a fanisode Hey. MIA (O. S. from behind the curtain) You can open it if you want. Bette gives Tina a hug. BETTE How are my girls doing? TINA She just closed her eyes. I feel like we were staring at each other for hours Bette opens the curtain. MiaMIA, a teenage girl, is lying in the bed holding a baby. BETTE Are you sure? MIA Definitely, . Iit would be nice to talk to another mommy for once. lword.fanlib.com lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 11 Mia gets up from the bed and walks out of the room. TINA (looks at Bette smiling) Mommies. SAM Oh my god she’s so beautiful. MIA Oh, I’m sorta in a similar situation, but not exactly. Bette and Tina look confused. Another lesbian couple, SAM and CARI, couple walkss into the room. SAM & CARI CARI I know, just how we imagined her. BETTE I hope I’m not intruding, but is this your baby? Hi. MIA Sam, Cari, this is , - I’m sorry I didn’t even get your names , I’m Mia. BETTE Bette. TINA Tina. CARI Sam and I decided to help Mia through her pregnancy. SAM And she agreed to give us custody rights of Hanna once she was born. TINA Wow. How did you find each other? Right baby girl? CARI After much thought we decided there are many young, scared girls who feel threatened to either abort their child or feel disconnected just giving them up for adoption. Eventually we went through an agency who understood and put us in contact with Mia and her family. SAM Do you want to hold her again? I don’t really want to give her up but we agreed. (to Bette and Tina) Mia isn’t ready to have a baby right now. We helped her financially and emotionally through her entire pregnancy and when Hanna is ready to go homeCARI She will be going home with us. Sam and Cari walk over to Mia. SAM (to Bette and Tina) I’m Sam and this is my partner, Cari. SAM How did we find each other or Mia? Cari hands Hanna to Sam. She rocks her by the window. CARI Hi. Mia hands the baby to Cari. MIA Can you excuse me for a minute? CARI We know what you mean. First I was going to carry, but we couldn’t find a proper donor and we don’t trust sperm banks. SAM Kind of a hit or miss. (to Hanna) COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #1 TINA That’s incredible. CARI We had a lawyer draw up paperwork giving us full custody of Hanna. SAM We’re all in full agreement. In the future when Hanna is old enough to understand we will explain it to her, but for now she’s all ours. Mia returns and lies down. Just Call Me Crazy! "Alice's psycho obsession with Dana is great! It keeps the show alive! It also portrays how nuts real lesbians are." - matrix88 "I thought it was great - emotions are subtly under the surface without having to be completely directly spelled out loud." - bmchung "OMG OMG I like this one. I want to see this one made. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Write more!" - oliviamcgill 12 the L word a fanisode lword.fanlib.com TINA How are you feeling? MIA BETTE I’ll be right back. Bette, Sam and Cari walk out. Exhausted. SAM We’ll let you rest a bit. CARI (to Sam) Let’s go to the cafeteria. SAM We’ll stop back up before we leave to check on you and say goodbye. TINA I think it’s great you agreed to help them have a baby. MIA They helped me. I didn’t want to have a baby but I felt guilty. I couldn’t afford the medical bills either and they helped me through it all. They will give Hanna a great life. I know it. So when are you going home? MIA TINA Home? Oh, today. Sam and Cari hug Mia and start to walk out of the room. INT. DANA’S HOUSE – DAY Thanks. SAM (to Bette and Tina) It was nice meeting you. BETTE I actually wanted to get a cup of coffee. Do you mind if I follow you down? SAM Not at all. lword.fanlib.com Alice is on Dana’s computer and scrolling through her cell phone. ALICE Come on, there’s gotta be something. The computer screen shows an email inbox. Alice opens the mail. ALICE (CONT'D) I know you're talking to her. I know you're not just going out to have dinner and reminisce. If she can hook up with Gabby she has to be vile. Alice scrolls through numbers on the phone. ALICE (CONT'D) I knew it. I !#%&in knew it. That !#%&in !#%&. Alice looks at a picture of her and Dana on the desk and talks to it. ALICE (CONT'D) Not you Dana. You're not a !#%&, Lara's the !#%&in !#%&. Popping up like that, and with all people, and now acting innocent and wiggling her way back into your life. Alice opens an email. ALICE (CONT'D) (Reading) Hey. It was nice to see you. What are you doing this weekend? I'd really like to have dinner again. (talking to herself) She rescheduled our plans to meet Lara? (MORE) the L word a fanisode 13 ALICE (CONT'D) (looks back at the picture) How could you? (continues reading) Do you really still have those little pieces of parsley I put on your plate the 1st time I cooked for you? If you do, bring them with you. I don't believe you. Alice jumps from the chair and rummages through the desk. ALICE (CONT'D) It's gotta be here somewhere. Alice runs towards the bedroom. INT. DANA'S BEDROOM – MOMENTS LATER Alice ruffles through Dana's drawers. ALICE (CONT'D) Where are you? You !#%&in pieces of dried up vegetable. INT. DANA'S KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER Alice opens drawers, cabinets and then throws the fridge open. She sighs. Then she sees some jars on the counter. The one marked parsley is empty. Alice throws it on the floor and it shatters. She sits on the floor and sobs. DANA Alice! What are you doing here? ALICE Thought I'd surprise you. Dana walks past her into the house. INT. DANA'S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS CARI Gotta love hospital food. BETTE The coffee too. So what were you saying about Attachment Parenting? EXT. DANA'S HOUSE – SAME DAY Dana returns home to see Alice open the door. ALICE Hey. 14 the L word a fanisode INT. DANA'S BEDROOM – NIGHT Alice and Dana are lying in bed. Alice is sleeping. Dana stares at the ceiling. She looks at Alice and gets up. INT. DANA'S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS ALICE You gave me a key. Remember. Dana walks over to the couch. She lays down in a fetal position and closes her eyes. Alice slams the door. DANA I don't remember that. ROUND 2 ALICE Well you didn't exactly GIVE me a key. I mean I made a spare, just in case, ya know? INT. THE PLANET – NIGHT Dana heads to the bedroom and Alice follows. INT. DANA'S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS ALICE I have a surprise for you. DANA Surprise? INT. HOSPITAL CAFÉ – SAME DAY Bette and Tina walk out of the hospital front doors with Angelica. DANA How did you get in? ALICE (CONT'D) Dana. EXT. HOSPITAL – SAME DAY ALICE Yep, wait here. Alice pushes Dana onto the bed and walks out. Dana notices some of Alice's stuff in her room. DANA Alice what is all this stuff? ALICE (O. S.) What stuff? DANA Your stuff. Alice enters wearing only a guitar strapped over her shoulder and begins to serenade Dana. Carmen, alone at a table, glances back over her shoulder and begins to laugh. She shakes her head. CARMEN (disgusted) Unbelievable. Shane enters, spots Carmen, and waves hello. Shane and Carmen kiss, then Shane sits. Carmen laughs. SHANE What is it? What's so funny? CARMEN You are not going to believe this. Mark's here. With a girl. Shane shrugs. SHANE Great. Maybe he'll stop with his silly crush on me. What is it with straight men thinking they can convert lesbians? You never see some really hot girl looking at Liberace and saying, I just gotta make him straight. Carmen glances back at the table where Mark is sitting with a female. Only the back of their heads are visible. The girl has very short, stylish black hair. lword.fanlib.com JENNY (CONT'D) least ten minutes in there with the doctor where I actually didn't want to hurt myself. So, you know, that's an improvement. It's hard, though, really hard. CARMEN You think he's over you? Yeah, right! Go check it out. Go over and say hello to Mark and his new lady. See for yourself just how over you he really is. Shane stands. REBECCA We've been sharing this room for days now, and I think it's time we dished the dirt on ourselves. SHANE Fine. Shane walks over to Mark's table. Mark sees her and smiles. Shane's mouth falls open. Mark's female friend, SHANNON, looks almost identical to Shane, hair, clothes, etc. MARK Hey, Shane, what's up? SHANE You've got to be kidding me. INT. CLINIC â€“ JENNY AND REBECCA'S ROOM â€“ NIGHT REBECCA, a small, cute brunette in baggy clothes, is sitting up on her bed, leafing through a magazine. Jenny enters, and it's obvious she's been crying. Rebecca taps her mattress. Jenny shyly smiles and sits down on Rebecca's bed. REBECCA How was therapy? JENNY It was good. I made some breakthroughs, I think, some real progress. There were at (MORE) JENNY Okay. You first. REBECCA Well, I'm here because I have bulimia. My relationship with food is... let's say... unhealthy. JENNY Where do I start? I'm a cutter, among other things. They say I need to develop some new coping mechanisms to deal with my issues. They tell me, instead of cutting, why not just write or bake some cookies or knit a sweater? I just... I don't know how to fix myself. REBECCA That's why we're here, honey. Jenny starts to cry and Rebecca gives her a hug. REBECCA I've been binging and purging for as long as I can remember. I don't recall, not once in my (MORE) COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #2 REBECCA (CONT'D) life, enjoying a meal and not feeling guilty about it. When I was really young, my mother used to enter me in those child beauty pageants. But no matter how much she would doll me up, with the fake tans and the skimpy outfits, I was never pretty enough. One day, after I'd lost a pageant, Mom stared at me with a fury, with maybe a little hate in her eyes, and told me that I might be able to win if I wasn't so fat. I was five. JENNY That's horrible. Rebecca forces a weak smile through her sadness. REBECCA Want to hear something really awful? I haven't kissed anyone on the mouth in years. I... I use my mouth as a trash dump, and I don't want to put my filthy lips on anyone, because I'm disgusting. JENNY No one should go without kisses for that long. Jenny leans in and gives Rebecca a soft peck on the mouth. It's not a romantic kiss, but still a sweet, loving one. Rebecca runs a few fingers lightly over her own mouth, amazed. Those Lips, Those Lies "If I ever get that weird, kill me. Teehee..." - Graashoppa "The hippy shows up later and it's Whoopie Goldberg!? Good job." - Tess "To be perfectly honest, anyone who writes a scene about this pill Jenny deserves a 5. I wish she'd ride off into the sunset, leaving Moira behind."." - Joanc57 lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 15 INT. THE PLANET – SAME NIGHT Shane, still standing in front of Mark's table, stares in disbelief at her doppelganger. SHANE She's wearing my clothes! Mark, why is she wearing my clothes? MARK I'm sorry. Hers got wet, and I didn't think you'd mind. SHANNON What's going on here, Mark? MARK Nothing, Shannon. Shannon looks herself over, then looks at Shane, and is disgusted. SHANNON (to Shane) I'm sorry. He cut my hair like this. Said it would look good. He told me what to wear. He said he was going to put me in his next movie. SHANE (to Mark) You're a total psycho, and I want you out of the house. Now. Tonight. Get your sh*t and get the hell out. I should've kicked you out weeks ago. MARK Shannon means nothing to me, Shane! I didn't mean... Shannon suddenly smacks Mark across the face. Shane laughs and then walks back to her table. Alice is now sitting at the table next to Carmen. Shane sits and shakes her head, disturbed. ALICE What did he do? Clone you? Build a Shane robot? SHANE Nah. He just dressed up some poor girl to look like me. 16 the L word a fanisode CARMEN That boy is not right. ALICE Well, if I ever get that weird, please kill me. INT. CLINIC – JENNY AND REBECCA'S ROOM – SAME NIGHT Jenny and Rebecca are lying on Rebecca's bed. REBECCA So, you moved to L.A. to live with your boyfriend, and then you discovered, all of a sudden, that you like women? JENNY (CONT’D) I should hate her for what she did. But I don't. I miss her smell. Does that make me awful? REBECCA You're just about the least awful person I've ever met. They stare at each other and offer warm smiles. ROUND 3 INT. TELEVISED POKER TOURNAMENT JENNY Yeah, that's pretty much it. Actually, that's kind of a lie. Wanna know a secret? Something no one else knows? VINCE VAN PATTEN (serious) She's done it ladies and gentleman, Alice Pieszecki has gone all in! Rebecca excitedly turns and moves closer to Jenny. Alice wearing sunglasses pushes her chips to the middle of the table. The camera slowly moves to her opponent who pushes back the hood on her unibomber style hooded sweatshirt. It is Lara. Lara pushes in all of her chips. REBECCA Yes please! Secrets please! Now please! JENNY I've been fooling everyone, and myself, for a long time. Marina wasn't the first girl I was ever with. When I was ten, I had a female baby-sitter named Sky, a total hippie. She always stunk like pot and incense, but in a good way. She was in her early twenties, and one night she crawled into bed with me and told me that I was beautiful. Then she put her fingers inside me. REBECCA You are totally scandalous, Jenny. JENNY I had blocked the whole thing out for so long, but then recently the memories came back, along with some other, more horrible memories. (MORE) VINCE VAN PATTEN (excited) She's going to call! This is it! Alice reveals her two cards. Queen/Queen. Lara (dramatic pause) throws her cards on the table. Ace/Ace. INT. ALICE'S BEDROOM – MORNING Alice bolts awake in bed gasping for air. Dana, startled awake, reaches for Alice. DANA (concerned) Honey, you ok? Bad dream? ALICE (disoriented) V- V- Vince Van Patten. DANA (processes) That's horrible! Come here and let me hold you. lword.fanlib.com INT. BETTE AND TINA'S KITCHEN â€“ MORNING Bette is holding Angelica. Tina is cooking breakfast. BETTE Tonight will be nice, no parties, no pressure. Just a little family gathering. TINA Yes, Sam is so much fun and Cari is so sweet. I'm looking forward to it. INT. PLANET â€“ AFTERNOON Dana is standing to leave. Alice is sitting. DANA Ok Al, I'm looking at seven-thirtyish. Don't cook! I'll get something at the club before I leave. I rented The Notebook. Kit said it was good. Alice watches Dana all the way to the door. Dana bumps into a patron entering the planet. They exchange glances and Dana exits. Alice stands. ALICE Jackie! Jackie Thomas?! Get out! What are you doing here? Jackie walks to Alice's table and greets her with a hug. JACKIE Al! Wow! How's that diva of a Mother of yours? AL (laughs) My diva of a Mother? Your mother is the mother of all divas! Kit comes over to clean the table. KIT Hey Alice, how you doing? ALICE Kit this is my childhood friend Jackie, her mother played Ruth Cox on Empire Falls with my Mom! KIT (Enthused) Oh my god, not that bitch Ruth Cox! I wanted to strangle that woman! JACKIE Her refutation precedes me. Kit pauses at Jackie's malapropism. KIT Well, I owe a good seven years of Sunday nights to your Mothers! The least I can do is buy you two a drink! What do you say Bloody Mary's for both? Ruth Cox would've had one before five. Kit leaves the table. lword.fanlib.com ALICE So Jack! What are you up to? You crack me up! You always had some grand scheme going on when we were kids. Did you ever make your fortune? JACKIE Made it and lost it three times over now. A girl can still dream. I have just become a certified Private Investigator. So I have plenty buns in the oven. ALICE I think you mean pokers in the fire. Wow, you mean you work for the police department, or an agency? JACKIE Well I could, I mean... they hire people like me all of the time. ALICE (lowers brow) Jackie, have you ever made any money doing this? the L word a fanisode 17 SAM (vigorously) ...So my mom leans over me from the passenger seat and starts screaming at the drive thru guy... Biscuits! Biscuits! Biscuits! JACKIE (clears throat) Well, I just finished the correspondence course, but I got my certificate and everything. Kit delivers the drinks. KIT To Empire Falls, enjoy girls. Everyone laughs uproariously. TINA I was about 10. My family was visiting my Uncle's farm and Mom asked if I'd like to ride along with her to the store. There was this long flat stretch of road. My mom asked me if I knew what it felt like to go 100 miles an hour. ALICE AND JACKIE Thanks Kit. Alice sips on her drink, thinking ALICE Consider yourself hired. JACKIE What? You want to put me on a container? FLASHBACK EXT. 1980'S FIREBIRD â€“ SUMMER AFTERNOON ALICE (sighs) Retainer Jack, I would like to retain your services to have someone followed. 10-year-old Tina is in the car with her mother. Her mother looks young and beautiful, the wind blowing her blonde hair back. JACKIE Really! You would? Who? ALICE My girlfriend. Dana Fairbanks. INT. BETTE AND TINA'S HOUSE â€“ EVENING Sam and Cari are seated opposite Bette and Tina at the dinner table. They have all finished eating and are sharing stories. TINA (V.O.) I was terrified. Not as much about the speed of the car as seeing my mother be irresponsible. Until then, she'd always been Mom you know? It felt odd, exciting. She must've sensed my fear, it was so like her to play on that kind of thing... COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #3 MOTHER You know, Tina, this is really dangerous. An animal could jump out in the road and I'd never be able to stop in time. Ominous Music plays. Tina scoots closer to the middle and looks at the speedometer. 85 mph Her mother reaches for her hand. MOTHER If we got a flat right now that would be the end of us. TINA (V.O.) I squeezed her hand, it seemed like it was taking forever to hit 100. The wind was howling in the windows and it felt like the car was levitating just above the road. MOTHER 97... 98... 99... come on Tina! BOTH One hundred! We move in on Tina's mother's face. TINA (V.O.) She was wearing some old denim shirt, I'm not even sure if she had make-up on that day. Still, it was the most beautiful I'd ever seen my mother. Her blue eyes flashing and the sun beating on her face. I know now that the day was like a passage. (MORE) The M Word "My favorite + Top! + Well written + Alice funny + A/H/B/T true to the characters +++ Hope that you win!!!" - Kroko75 "LOVE IT!!! Someone call Ilene!" - mysnickers69 "'V- V- Vince Van Patten' Haha! I liked it! :)" - Spoilednselfish "...Nice texture to the dialogue. A refreshing change from blandland!" - lmlynley . 18 the L word a fanisode lword.fanlib.com TINA (V.O. CONT’D) She was sharing something with me. Maybe a glimpse of who she was before she was wife and mother. (struggles) Maybe who she still is but rarely allows me to see. FLASHBACK ENDS INT. BETTE AND TINA'S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS ALICE (drunken loud whispering) Iv you ssusspected ssomeone of usssurping your empire would you have them ffollowed? HELENA Well, yes Alice. I suppose I would. Jackie has left to pursue her new assignment. Alice sits alone at the bar, visibly buzzed. Helena enters and approaches Alice. SHANE CARMEN So what do you think? Alice raises her hands in the air and then smacks the bar. Carmen makes a sweeping motion with her hand. ALICE SHANE It's great. But you didn't have to. INT. BETTE AND TINA'S BEDROOM – EVENING CARMEN Of course I did. I want our home to be beautiful. Thank you. INT. PLANET – HAPPY HOUR Carmen walks over and kisses Shane. Hi. Tina looks at Bette who is wiping away a tear. BETTE (emotional) You never told me that story before. CARMEN Hi Baby. Bette sits on the bed as Tina dials the phone. TINA Hello, Mom? Shane looks at her but says nothing. CARMEN (playfully) What? What did I say? ROUND 4 SHANE ALICE (loudly) Helena! C'mere. Helena glances behind her to see if there's another Helena, she sits cautiously next to Alice. Alice leans close to her. lword.fanlib.com Nothing. INT. SHANE'S LIVING ROOM – AFTERNOON Shane enters, shuts the door and turns, looking around the living room. It is immaculate, filled with flowers and sunlight. Carmen moves closer, pressing her hands against Shane's shoulders. CARMEN Was it when I said "our home"? the L word a fanisode 19 CARMEN Did you hear that? DR. PERETZ Yes. We spoke this morning. Are you still alright with going to her house? SHANE I don't hear anything. JENNY I have to be. SHANE SHANE Yeah. Maybe. What? Carmen begins moving her hands across Shane's breasts. She moves them down, and up under Shane's shirt as she begins kissing her neck. Shane shuts her eyes, moans, then grabs Carmen, moving her backwards to the couch. On the couch, Shane quickly removes Carmen's top and bra. Carmen pulls Shane's shirt off, and pulls her down. Skin against skin as their kisses become harder and deeper. Shane moves her mouth down to Carmen's breasts, kissing her breasts and nipples as she unzips Carmen's jeans. She flips Carmen over, slides her jeans down and runs her tongue along the tattoo on her lower back. CARMEN Oh yeah. Yeah. Shane moves Carmen's g-string aside and slides her hand between her legs. Shane begins to move rhythmically, pressing herself into Carmen. CARMEN (moaning) Jenny looks at Dr. Peretz with luminous eyes. CARMEN Exactly. It's perfect. INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE – DAY Jenny and Dr. Peretz sit in chairs by the window. Sunlight illuminates the office. Jenny's face is remarkably peaceful. JENNY Really. I do feel better. So thank you. I know I wasn't the most receptive patient when we started. DR. PERETZ I'm really pleased with your progress, Jenny. You've done a lot of hard work in here. And I told you last week that if you had no setbacks I would discharge you and you could move to outpatient sessions. JENNY (CONT'D) (firmly) I will be. I'll be fine. DR. PERETZ And you'll continue your daily journaling? JENNY Of course. It's so cathartic for me. And such a part of my being. I can't imagine not writing- it's like breathing. DR. PERETZ Ok then. Let's get you scheduled for some times next week. INT. JENNY AND REBECCA'S ROOM – LATER Oh, God. JENNY INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER And? Jenny and Rebecca are sitting on Rebecca's bed. Shane and Carmen are still on the couch, holding each other. DR. PERETZ I'm discharging you later today. REBECCA I'm going to miss you. Us. Our secrets. CARMEN JENNY Wow. (pause) Does my mom know? Listen. COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #4 JENNY This isn't goodbye, you know. We just won't be roommates (MORE) Light of Day "...I hope karma prevails and allows your WRITING TALENT to win this round!!" - QuillinEmSoftly "Sex scenes a bit dry, lube it up." - jkoo "If Carmen can't find a place, she can crash with me anytime." - mel4rob "Dialog of the Brady bunch!!!" - Echosofawomyn "...great L action!" - jmay36 20 the L word a fanisode lword.fanlib.com JAN Listen, Jenny. I hope you don't mind but Rebecca has told me a lot about you and your struggles. She said you're an undiscovered literary star. Those were your words, weren't they, darling? Rebecca nods sheepishly. JAN So, needless to say, nothing would please me more than discovering a new star. Would you consider letting me read your work? JENNY God. Yes, of course. Thank you. Jenny turns to Rebecca. JENNY Thank you. REBECCA You're not mad at me? JENNY (CONT’D) anymore, which, considering that we're in a psychiatric hospital is probably not a bad thing. JAN Good lord. What could he possibly want now? Jenny and Rebecca turn to see Rebecca's mom, JAN MARTIN, an impeccably dressed woman. REBECCA Hi Mom. Mom, this is Jenny. Jenny stands and extends her hand. JENNY meet you, Mrs. JAN Nice to meet you too, Jenny, and its Ms. Martin. But you can call me Jan. REBECCA Mom went back to her maiden (MORE) lword.fanlib.com Jan's cell phone vibrates. She glances at it but ignores it. JENNY I could never be mad at you. I have a strange feeling that you and I are one of those meant to be moments in life, actually. Jenny hugs Rebecca tightly. WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.) Hello, hello. Nice to Williams. REBECCA (CONT’D) name after the divorce. REBECCA INT. SHANE'S HOUSE – EVENING Shane is on the couch, flipping through channels but completely unfocused. Who? JAN David Jacobson. I'm editing his new novel and he's driving me absolutely crazy. JENNY (incredulous) Oh my God. You're Jan Martin of Simon & Schuster. I read an interview with you last year. REBECCA Oops. Did I forget to mention that? SHANE Carme? Can you come here? Carmen enters and plops down next to her. CARMEN Yes? Shane turns off the TV. CARMEN God, you look so serious. SHANE You know this is Jenny's house, and she's coming back. the L word a fanisode 21 CARMEN I know, baby. SHANE Hopefully soon. Carmen takes Shane's hands. BILL It's a simple question. Do you or do you not have any interviews lined up? CARMEN Will you do that for me? SHANE CARMEN I want her to get well and come home as much as you do. SHANE It's just the way you were talking earlier... TINA What? Dad. CARMEN Just think about it. BILL I'm just concerned for Angelica. If you insist upon having another woman raise my grandchild, at least be sure she's able to provide for her. Shane looks at her. SHANE CARMEN Baby, I just want you to think about us living together. There's plenty of room, and Jenny and I are fine. And I miss you when I'm not with you. Don't you miss me? SHANE I do. But living together is... CARMEN A commitment? I know. And that's a big scary word for you. But here's how I see it. There are all these moments that make up life. And we all want we all hope - that the good moments will outweigh the bad ones. And with you they do. At least for me. SHANE I know. I miss you when you're not here. CARMEN I'm practically living with you now if you think about it. I will. ROUND 5 INT. BETTE AND TINA'S LIVING ROOM â€“ EVENING Bette, Tina, and Tina's parents, JOAN and BILL, sit tensely around the living room. BETTE I assure you that Angelica will be well taken care of, financially and emotionally. Currently, I have a healthy cushion from my severance and, in time, I will take a position which will provide us the economic resources to maintain our standard of living and provide for our child. Joan touches Bill, to stop him. BILL Do you have any offers at all? BETTE Well, I'm exploring several options, and I'm enjoying the extra time the hiatus affords me with Angelica. BILL But no interviews. BETTE Well, at the moment, I- TINA How about a tour? Bill and Joan stand up and follow Tina. INT. KITCHEN â€“ CONTINUOUS Bette, fuming, enters the kitchen, pours a drink, and stares out the window to calm her temper. She hears Angelica crying in the other room and leaves to tend to her. Bill is controlled, steely. COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #5 Lamentations "I think this scene brings a lot of emotion and hits personal racial and sexual orientation issues." - KARA "Hysterical Alice scene! Loved tender ending with Dana. Excellently crafted Bette/Tina scene! The winner by far!!" - debi_5741 "Wahooo!" - glligalli 22 the L word a fanisode lword.fanlib.com lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 23 INT. ALICE'S CAR – SAME NIGHT Alice guns the car, squealing tires as she turns a corner. ALICE Baby, wait two minutes. I'm almost there. I'll drive up and check things out from a distance. INT. DANA'S HOUSE – SAME NIGHT DANA (hesitant) Ok... INT. ALICE'S CAR – SAME NIGHT ALICE Ok, bye! INT. DANA'S HOUSE – SAME NIGHT INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS As Bette walks towards Angelica's room she sees Tina leading her parents outside. Bette and Tina lock eyes and Tina's expression is one of compassion and "help." INT. DANA'S HOUSE – NIGHT A frightened Dana, breathing heavily, runs in through the front door and slams it behind her. She shuts the blinds, peers through them, grabs her phone and dials. DANA Alice? Don't come over! Somebody's following me and she's outside now. I'm gonna call the police. INT. ALICE'S CAR – SAME NIGHT INT. DANA'S HOUSE – SAME NIGHT DANA No, I don't want you to get hurt. I've seen this person everywhere today. At first I thought she was just- Sh*t! Dana stops suddenly, pulling the blinds further apart. DANA (whispering) She just ran into the bushes! She's like 15 feet away! This is freaking me out! She could be a crazed killer targeting lesbian tennis players. I'm calling the police. INT. ALICE'S CAR – SAME NIGHT DANA What- Alice- wait! Don't hang up! Stay on the line in case something happens! INT. ALICE'S CAR – SAME NIGHT ALICE I can't... uh... what if she's got surveillance equipment in your phone? She'll know I'm there! INT. DANA'S HOUSE – SAME NIGHT DANA What?! INT. ALICE'S CAR – SAME NIGHT ALICE See you in a minute! Alice is driving furiously. Alice hangs up, quickly dials. Alice is driving while talking on the phone to Dana. ALICE Baby, wait. Don't do that. I'll be there in, like, five minutes. ALICE No! They'll think you're a celebrity drama queen. If you get a reputation, they'll never come if you really need them. INT. DANA'S HOUSE – SAME NIGHT DANA Al, I think I should- ALICE Jackie, abort! Abort! Go now! Alice's car pulls up to Dana's. Lights flash across bushes to show a woman jump out and run down the street. Alice exits her car. 24 the L word a fanisode lword.fanlib.com ALICE You better run! EXT. DANA'S DOORSTEP – MOMENTS LATER Dana opens her front door. DANA ALICE (CONT’D) Alice does a subdued can-can dance. Dana nods, realizing who she's talking about, but unsure of Al's point. TINA We wanted Angelica to look like both of us. Bill reddens and stands up. ALICE She's a PI now. I just thought, maybe if I knew what you were doing, I could back off and- BILL Joan, let's go. Al! JOAN Dana's eyes widen. ALICE Hey! I scared her off. A homicidal homophobe wouldn't have given up that easily. DANA You had her follow me? Alice drops her face in her hands. INT. DANA'S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS Dana stares with disbelief as Alice enters her house. Dana goes over to the phone and starts dialing. ALICE I did. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me! She cries. Dana softens, holds her. DANA DANA You're acting really strange. I'm calling the police. BILL I'm doing my best, but you can't expect me to stand here silently while our daughter lives in sin, raises a biracial baby, with no father and no income! Bill storms out and Joan follows. Bette and Tina can hear the door slam behind them. BETTE I smell smoke! Ok, ok. INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER EXT. BETTE AND TINA'S – SAME EVENING ALICE No! Bill- JOAN You haven't secured the pool? Alice grabs for the phone. Dana pulls it back, shocked. Bette and Tina run to the kitchen and open the oven to a burning roast. The fire alarm starts screaming. Bette shuts her eyes and breathes. Tina is defeated. Angelica cries. TINA Excuse me? INT. DANA'S HOUSE– SAME EVENING JOAN Having a child with an unfenced pool is inviting disaster. She could drown within minutes and you'd never know. Try living with that on your conscience. In candlelight, Dana sits on the sofa, her arm around Alice. TINA Mom, Angelica isn't even crawling! You're being a little premature. DANA I don't understand why, but I do understand that you're upset, and I don't like to see you hurting. DANA Al! Alice blushes, ashamed. ALICE No one's trying to kill you. DANA How do you know? Alice paces, embarrassed. ALICE God, I'm such an idiot! I was trying not to smother you, be too needy, but it drove me crazy not knowing where you were or who you were with. Then I ran into Jackie Thomas- her mother was in Empire Falls; we used to do that little routine together? (MORE) lword.fanlib.com Bette enters with Angelica talking in a sing-song voice. BETTE Here's our girl! Tina's parents blanch. BILL Your child is black? ALICE Thanks for understanding. I don't know why I'm so insecure. I've never been like this before. ALICE I'm trying to trust you. It's weird, it's like I'm fine and then all of a sudden, something else takes over my brain and I'm this crazy insane person and I can't stop it. God, I'm becoming unstable. Dana smiles. the L word a fanisode 25 DANA You've always been passionate, Al. It's one of the things I love about you. I mean who else can get so excited mapping the global path of lesbian sexual connections? Alice shrugs with modest pride ALICE Yeah, well. Dana gently turns Alice's face toward hers DANA Just know that as long as we're together, there won't be any more lines going to my name, ok? Alice smiles. ALICE Ok. They kiss. 26 the L word a fanisode ROUND 6 SHANE Come on. INT. SHANE AND CARMEN'S HOUSE – NIGHT The house is crowded with people. Carmen is at the DJ table with Kit, chatting over a laptop. Shane walks up. SHANE Hey, Hey! I thought we said no DJ'ing. Tonight is our night. CARMEN (to Shane) Hello sexy! I was just showing Kit the new software I bought. (to Kit) See? You just load everything here and it puts it in the playlist, that's it. CARMEN Okay. Shane and Carmen walk away. INT. SHANE AND CARMEN'S HOUSE – SAME NIGHT Bette and Tina talk with another young lesbian couple. One of the women is about 5-6 months pregnant. Tina has Angelica in a sling. TINA We tried one other brand of sling but it kept slipping, this one is better, and it's great because I can feed her and still be covered up. KIT Girl, don't be saying that too loud. You won't have a job! Tina opens the sling to show a half nursing, half sleeping Angelica. CARMEN Well, it is missing my special touch, of course. PREGNANT WOMAN How precious! (looks at partner) Are you ready for this? KIT You and Shane go take your special touch and mingle, I'm gonna play with this. Congratulations on moving in together! PARTNER Of course! Look at her hair, she is beautiful. TINA Thank you. lword.fanlib.com INT. KITCHEN – JENNY'S PARENTS' HOUSE DANA (drunk) BETTE We just can't stop looking at her. Woo! Tina covers Angie back up. Shane and Carmen walk over. Shane walks up, laughing. Alice is laughing as well. SHANE Wow, Dana, impressive. SHANE Look, it's the responsible section! CARMEN Hello mommas, anyone need anything? JENNY Out for a little while. Dana burps. ALICE Come on let's walk it off. The group laughs. BETTE, TINA AND YOUNG LESBIAN COUPLE No. DANA No, I want to do it again! I am the champion! ALICE (pulling Dana's arm) Dane, you're gonna get sick. CARMEN I'm gonna put out more food. Shane points to a group of people doing shots and being rowdy. DANA No, Alice cut it out. Alice walks away. Shane follows, but her phone rings. She answers it. SHANE I'm going to go see what that mess is about. Jenny walks through the house towards the front door. Her mom is in the kitchen, alone now. SANDY Where are you going? SANDY Your father wants you to go to temple with him. It's Paul Daniel's birthday and they are having a get together for him JENNY I don't want to. SANDY Jenny, please, you're not a child. JENNY I know, that's why I'm going out. Jenny leaves. Shane and Carmen walk away. INT. SHANE AND CARMEN'S KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER SHANE Hello? Hi Jenny! Thank you! We miss you! I can't really hear you. Can I call you back in a little while? Okay, bye. INT. JENNY'S ROOM – JENNY'S PARENTS' HOUSE PARTY GOER 3, 2, 1, go! A group of people drop shots into their beers and start chugging. Dana is playing and Alice is standing next to her, but not chugging. People are cheering and yelling. Dana slams her beer down first. Jenny hangs up the phone. We hear yelling from outside her door. Jenny picks up her purse and laptop bag and walks out. COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #6 INT. SHANE AND CARMEN'S HALLWAY, NEAR THE BATHROOM – SAME NIGHT Alice is waiting in line for the bathroom. Shane walks up. SHANE Hey, you okay? ALICE Yeah, I'm fine. I just have to pee. Game Over "This is tight." - angelsbitch "Smile, you made it." - Meow12 "Ok, Dana is HOT... and a funny drunk. I am so over Jenny's drama; and I love Bette and Tina-The MOMMIES!!! Alice is so genuine with Dana." - snl23 "Great scene! Carmen couldn't be any sexier!!!!" - gale26 lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 27 SHANE She's just having fun, Al. ALICE She's not though, she's acting weird. JENNY (smiling) It is awesome, you should go sometime, the weather is nice, there is so much to do and they have more than one dingy gay bar. INT. A BAR IN SKOKIE – SAME NIGHT Jenny is sitting by herself with her laptop and a drink. MOIRA walks up. MOIRA Hey, it's Jenny, right? JENNY Yes, Moira, you're just pretending you don't remember me. MOIRA (laughing softly) Yeah, I remember you. I was wondering if you would be back this weekend. INT. SHANE AND CARMEN'S HOUSE HALLWAY, NEAR BATHROOM – LATER Shane and Alice are stilling waiting for the bathroom. Alice starts banging on the door. ALICE What the !#%&? (sniffs around the door) Are !#%&ing smoking pot in there? I have to !#%&ing pee! This is not high school, smoke it in the back yard like everyone else! Alice continues banging on the door. A girl walks up to Shane. MOIRA And with the laptop again, too. Do you think you'll have time for a dance later, or maybe some pool? JENNY Of course I will. How was your week? MOIRA It was good, how was yours? JENNY Good, I had a few group sessions, I like those the best. MOIRA You never told me where you're visiting from. JENNY L.A. That's where I consider home now. MOIRA Oh, cool. I love L.A., I mean, I've never been there but I bet it's awesome. 28 the L word a fanisode Bette and Tina walk up behind Shane, Carmen and Alice. ALICE Yeah, that's someone we know. BETTE And that's our yard. Bette, Alice and Shane run out to the yard to pick up Dana. Tina and Carmen stand there with the cop. TINA (to Cop) Thank you. OFFICER My wife has that same sling. INT. BAR IN SKOKIE – LATER JENNY Well, I am. OFFICER Is that someone you know in your neighbors' yard? GIRL Shane, the cops are here and they want to talk to someone who lives here. SHANE Sh*t. INT. FRONT DOOR – MOMENTS LATER Carmen is standing at the door when Shane and Alice walk up. CARMEN I'm sorry Officer, if the music is too loud we'll turn it down. Jenny and Moira are dancing. JENNY So you want a good job, a wife and family someday. Do you want anything else? MOIRA (shy) I don't know, maybe a dog? What do you want? JENNY To kiss you right now. Jenny and Moira kiss. SHANE Yeah, we're really sorry. OFFICER Actually, we didn't get a noise complaint. We were driving down the street and saw this. The Officer moves out of the way to show a passed out Dana in Bette and Tina's front yard. INT. SHANE AND CARMEN'S HOUSE, JENNY'S BEDROOM - LATER Dana is in Jenny's bed. Shane and Alice are sitting on the end of it. ALICE Thank you for letting us stay here. SHANE Of course. (looking at Dana) She'll be fine. lword.fanlib.com ALICE No, something is wrong. Dana does drink like that, you know her. Do you remember the last time she did this? SHANE A long time ago. ALICE It was when she and Lara broke up. ROUND 7 INT. BETTE AND TINA'S HOUSE â€“ EARLY AFTERNOON Bette opens the front door to Sam and Cari. SAM Hi. Thanks for inviting us over for brunch. BETTE No problem. Come in please. Cari hugs Bette. CARI How are you? BETTE We're ok, considering... Bette, Cari and Sam walk to the dining room table where Tina is feeding Angelica. CARI Hi Tina. SAM So, what's going on? TINA We called my parents. SAM Yeah? How did that go? TINA Well, we invited them over and things were... OK at first, I guess. lword.fanlib.com BETTE By okay she means that they attacked our lifestyle and our biracial child. And in not so many words let me know that I was incapable of taking care of Angelica without a job. CARI Well, to be honest, you really can't provide for her without a job. BETTE What? You knew our situation and you said you understood. You encouraged our meeting Tina's parents. In fact, it was your idea to do it in the first place. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if we didn't listen to your advice. SAM Let's not argue and point fingers here. It didn't go well and we apologize for that. TINA You know how much we love Angelica, and we're okay with money for the time being. Besides, Bette has a couple job offers. CARI All I'm saying is that he might have been more receptive had you taken one of the offers instead of waiting around for a better one. You have a child now, you need to do what you have to do. the L word a fanisode 29 DANA (interrupts) No, I can't. I have that interview I told you about. ALICE At seven at night? DANA No, it's at six. I just don't know how long it will be. It's the only time that he had today. INT. BETTE AND TINA'S HOUSE – SAME EVENING BETTE Can you believe that? TINA No, I really can't. BETTE The nerve of Cari! BETTE Well you know what you need to do? Get out of our "unprovidable" home right now. DANA What time is it? ALICE About quarter to noon. TINA Actually, I was talking about you. DANA What? Crap! I gotta get in the shower and get to practice! ALICE I didn't think you would be in the mood today. What? DANA I can't afford to skip practice just because I had a few drinks last night. ALICE You mean a keg and a half? BETTE Of all the people, Tina, I never thought you would say that. You know that I love that little girl with all my soul. I can't just accept any job. I need to feel passionately about what I do. BETTE SAM (to Tina) Sorry. INT. DANA'S APARTMENT – EARLY AFTERNOON Alice makes sure that the shades are drawn so the sunlight doesn't give Dana a bigger headache than she will already have. ALICE Dana. Hey sleepy hangover head, time to get up. DANA (moans) I don't wanna. ALICE Here (nudges Dana) Take these aspirin and drink this water, you'll feel better after you do. Dana sits up slowly, still groggy. 30 the L word a fanisode Dana walks into the bathroom and starts running the shower. DANA (O.S.) Whatever. ALICE So do you want to get something to eat tonight? Say around sevenish. Maybe go to IL Pastaio. It's this cute little Italian restaurant- TINA Bette, I think she has a point. You can't wait around forever for the perfect job. TINA I know you do, but all your love isn't going to put clothes on her back, is it? Bette's eyes well up with tears. TINA I'm gonna go change my daughter. BETTE Our daughter. lword.fanlib.com ALICE I can't believe she lied to me. This is where I wanted to take her tonight. INT. IL PASTAIO ITALIAN EATERY – LATER THAT EVENING Dana and Lara are enjoying their pasta while sipping sangrias by candlelight on the patio. LARA I thought you would like this place. DANA I know... I just... I need to talk to her first, OK? LARA Alice stares in disbelief at Lara and Dana. Just then Lara slowly leans in to kiss Dana. Alice turns away quickly, wiping her eyes. When? DANA (pause) After dinner tonight. Lara smiles. DANA I do. It's romantic. ALICE I can't watch this, I need to go. INT. ALICE'S APARTMENT – SAME EVENING Alice's cell phone rings. ALICE Hello? (pause) No Jackie, not now, I'm busy. JACKIE Do you want me to get photographs for the rest of the night? Alice starts walking away. ALICE No, I know what I need to know. JACKIE (O.S.) I think this is something you might want to see in person. ALICE Ok. Where are you? INT. IL PASTAIO PATIO – MOMENTS LATER EXT. OUTSIDE OF ALICE'S APARTMENT – LATER Lara is driving Dana to Alice's apartment. They pull up to the front. LARA Do you want me to come with you? DANA No. I have to do this alone. FADE TO BLACK. Alice listens to Jackie and her jaw drops. Dana pulls away before Lara gets a chance to kiss her. ALICE I'll be right there. INT. OUTSIDE IL PASTAIO NEAR THE PATIO – LATER DANA No. Lara I told you, I can't cheat on Alice. She's not just my girlfriend, but my best friend. LARA You said yourself you've been caring for me more lately. Plus, with the way she's been acting, she's not herself anymore. JACKIE I thought maybe you would want to witness this. COMMENTS ON THE WINNING SCENE #7 Confrontations and Broken Hearts "Dig it!" - rummy_logic "...do the happy dance, you deserve it!" - Lassdebora "Anyone else want to slap Bette upside her head for not being able to handle anyone who disagrees with her?" - ordainit "Wonderful scene. Perfect lead in for the Showtime version." - ckrenshaw "...I would love to see this." - thumper1863 lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 31 fanisode in the news f course, you knew The L Word was hot. But, major news outlets can't get enough of your Fanisode! The journos are overheating with stories examining every facet of the event: from how it alters the media landscape, to the show's surging popularity, to the backgrounds and motivations of our winning writers. Here's a small sampling... O 12/1/05 "If you like the TV show, why not... join other fans online to help write an episode?" http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/01/business/01adco.html 4/22/06 An 'L-Word' script hits the fans Online contest lets viewers pen 'fanisode,' a TV first "Fans have a chance to wrest control of the plot from its writers -- while getting some online notoriety of their own..." http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/new_media/article_dis play.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002384363 Viral Marketing The prime-time pitch 3/10/06 "It's the high-tech version of storytellers sitting around a fire, embellishing one another's tales to create something new." http://asap.ap.org/stories/427193.s 4/20/06 Fans Become Screenwriters 4/23/06 Fans raising 'L' with scripts FanLib, Showtime running an online contest "Diehard fans of Showtime's lesbian sudser "The L Word" have gone from speculating over the show's plotline to actually shaping it." http://www.variety.com/story.asp?l=story&a=VR1117941865&c =14 "It's a watershed moment in the relationship between the industry that creates television series and the people who watch them." http://www.nj.com/columns/ledger/zollerseitz/index.ssf?/base/ columns-0/1145508705120320.xml&coll=1 32 the L word a fanisode lword.fanlib.com a word from the fanisode script moderator DEAR FANISODE PARTICIPANTS, ’ve had a wonderful time collaborating with you on the L Word’s first ever Fanisode. When all the different types of participants started signing on, introducing themselves on the message boards, I knew it would make for eclectic writing. We had a grandmother from Illinois, a drag king from Seattle, a Dominican lesbian from New York, a Second Degree Wiccan High Priestess, a straight married couple from Michigan, and a lesbian psychologist, to name just a few. This diversity also accounts for the great span of potential new characters that were suggested, such as a mormon lesbian, a military woman, a big black jewish dyke, a gay male friend, a socially inept brilliant cardiac surgeon, and a firefighter. I would love to see any of these characters in action. It was great to see everyone so passionate about the L Word and to hear what each person believes the show should or should not represent. Many people brought important political issues and personal stories to their Fanisode submissions. When Ervin’s winning scene described Jenny being molested by a female babysitter - and her attraction to that babysitter - it caused a very intense conflict, which I was fascinating to follow on the boards. I love that someone’s writing incited such an engaging discussion; it’s what powerful writing should do. People were also very passionate about voting rules, unfair ratings, the popularity factor and all those things that go along with any heated contest. This fervor definitely gave the whole process a more adrenalin racing rush. But debates and message board drama aside, what’s most important about this event is the craft of writing. What I love the most, and what you all brought to it, is the multiformity of expression. Firstly, there was the actual Fanisode writing, which so many people tackled with such professionalism and creativity. Again and again I read scripts where our characters were captured with spot-on accuracy and the themes of the show were expressed both in broad strokes and detailed nuances. As a writer for the show, it was inspiring to see which particular subtexts and character traits people chose to focus on. People were also great at capturing not only our standard L Word characters, but also the characters created in the winning scenes. It was very funny to see new character Jackie Thomas’s malapropisms and bumbling personali- ty carried throughout so many scripts. In addition to the official Fanisode there were also all the great fantasy scenes and parodies. In Esbians, I laughed out loud when CJWard67 had Leira racing around on 25 computers trying to give people zeros. The scenes of Stephen King, Saddam Hussein and Leisha Hailey all obsessively writing their submissions were likewise hilarious. It feels great to be part of building such a close community. Although there was drama, overall everyone on the boards really supported each other and respected each other as writers. I think of this website as sort of like a writer’s workshop, where people can get the critical feedback and encouragement not just of seven people sitting around a table, but of thousands of L Word fans across the world. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this as much as I have, and I can’t wait to do it again. Sincerely, Ariel Schrag, the L word staff writer fanisode script moderator about our script moderator. As an accomplished member of The L Word writing team, Ariel led us through the creation of our fanisode script, developing the weekly scene missions, "spotlighting" our best contributions, and making the critical creative calls. Accustomed to being at the forefront of creative expression, Ariel first gained acclaim at a very young age when she began chronicling her high school experiences in comic book form. Published as a series of searingly honest, critically celebrated graphic novels, her books Awkward, Definition, Potential and Likewise depict her four lword.fanlib.com years at Berkeley High School. In 2003, Ariel graduated from Columbia University and has since participated in a diverse array of exciting projects, including adapting Potential into a feature film, editing a comics anthology about middle school, teaching at New School University, and, of course, The L Word. the L word a fanisode 33 scene missions CREATE SCENE #1: Our scene opens with Tina's recovery at the hospital, where she and Bette befriend another long-term lesbian couple. Meanwhile, things are not so pleasant between Alice and Dana. Despite Dana's insistence that she loves her, Alice's desperate clinginess only grows further out of control. We close with Tina and Bette blissfully bringing Angelica home and Dana sleeping on the couch. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,000 CREATE SCENE #2: Mark just can't seem to shake his obsession with Shane, and it is really starting to get on her nerves, not to mention Carmen's. At an inpatient clinic in her hometown of Skokie, Illinois, Jenny undergoes intensive therapy. She also confides in her roommate, Rebecca, who has an eating disorder. Our scene ends with Shane kicking Mark out for good and Jenny telling her roommate something she would never tell her therapist. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,000 CREATE SCENE #3: Alice is determined to act like a normal person around Dana, but she needs some way to vent her persisting paranoia. She runs into an old friend at The Planet and asks her to secretly follow Dana. Bette and Tina have Sam and Cari, their new lesbian couple friends, over for dinner. By the end of the evening Sam and Cari have convinced B + T that they should invite Tina's family to 34 the L word a fanisode visit Angelica. Our scene ends with Tina's nervous phone call and Alice (looking for a kindred evil spirit) telling Helena what she's done. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,000 CREATE SCENE #4: With both Mark and Jenny gone, Shane and Carmen capitalize on the infinite pleasures of a whole house to yourself. If Carmen moved in, the steamy sleepover party for two would never have to end. But, are they really ready? Jenny's therapist decides that she's well enough to be transferred to outpatient. Before she leaves, her roommate Rebecca introduces her to her once beauty-pageant-fixated mother, Jan Martin, who, Jenny realizes, is the esteemed editor for Simon and Schuster. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,000 CREATE SCENE #5: Tina's family comes to visit and "disaster" is a nice way to describe it. Dana is terrified when she realizes that someone has been following her. Thinking it's either a crazed fan or a homicidal homophobe, she tells Alice she wants to go to the police. Racked with guilt, Alice confesses everything about how she asked her old-friend-turned-private-investigator, Jackie Thomas, to follow her. Alice and Dana have a real heart to heart, and it seems like everything just might be OK. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,000 CREATE SCENE #6: Shane decides to have Carmen move in and the two of them throw a wild party to celebrate. The night starts out a blast with seemingly all of gay LA there, but turns to trouble when the cops show up. In Jenny's orthodox home the dynamic between her mother, Sandy, and stepfather, Warren, makes her want to run back to the clinic. Instead, she spends nights at the only Skokie gay bar, working diligently on her novel, and getting to know an attractive butch named Moira. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,000 CREATE SCENE #7: Bette and Tina confront Sam and Cari, their new lesbian couple friends, about their back firing advice regarding Tina's family. Sam and Cari defend themselves, putting the blame back on Bette and Tina. A vicious fight and falling out ensues. Bette and Tina face the troubles they still clearly have. Alice thinks everything is heaven with Dana. It is then that Jackie, Alice's P.I. friend who was following Dana, informs her she saw Dana and Lara on what appeared to be an intimate date. This is the last scene, so close it with a bang. Really bring it home! Incorporate the other characters as you like. Format: Screenplay Max. Characters: 6,250 All scene missions written by Ariel Schrag, L Word Staff writer and Fanisode script moderator lword.fanlib.com O N V E GAS. Condo-Hotel Residences starting at $650,000. Live with us full-time, part-time, or let us lease it for you. Itâ€™s your choice* This is not an offer to sell, or solicitation of offers to buy, the condominium units in states where such offer or solicitation cannot be made. Prices, plans and specifications are subject to change without notice. We are pledged to the letter and spirit of the U.S. policy for achievement of Equal Housing Opportunity throughout the nation. We encourage and support an affirmative advertising and marketing program in which there are no barriers to obtaining housing because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin. Developers are affiliates of the Edge Group and Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc. Developers use the W ÂŽ brand name and trademarks under a license from Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc. *Owners will have the option to make their unit available for rental, either individually, through a program offered by W Las Vegas Hotel, or through a third-party agent. 866.WLV.HOME (866.958.4663) wlasvegasresidences.com scene congeniality DISCOVER THE BEST OF THE FANISODE'S "SCENES FROM THE ATTIC." emocracy can be a cruel mistress. Out of the thousands of scenes submitted over the course of the event, only a tiny handful were elected by your votes as winners or finalists. Are the rest utterly worthless? Impossible for anyone but their author to love? Well, frequently, yes. But, sometimes the best scenes are parodies. Sometimes they're "off-mission." And, sometimes they're just "too good" for this "fascist contest." That's why we created the "Scenes from the Attic" feature. With the help of our blueribbon nominating committee of past winners, finalists and die-hard Fanisode enthusiasts, we're dusting off these underappreciated gems and presenting four of the best for your reading pleasure. D [Round #4] SCENE: LONGINGS (IV) INT. THE JUNGLE ON THE SET OF THE TV SERIES 'LOST' â€“ DAY SHANE (smiles slowly) Ahh. Tied up and helpless. Just the way I like them. WRITTEN BY: alias "Argus" You see Shane, scantily clad, stalking though dense vegetation. NOMINATED BY: Allstarlover who says, in her best British accent, "Bloody hilarious!" SHANE (almost purring) Where are you, you alley cat? Where's my favorite pussy? When I find you, you're going to have to be punished. PROMO: Awakening - Carmen and Shane get all primal in the jungle while Jenny makes a shocking decision about her shot at the big time. Shane rounds a corner and comes upon Carmen who is half naked and has managed to lash herself to the trunk of a tree. ATTIC SCENE COMMENTS: "LOL!! This is the best scene I've ever read here. I think I *heart* you." - allstarlover 36 the L word a fanisode CARMEN (a steely look in her eye) You can touch me, but you'll never have me. Shane moves in, she moves her hands all over Carmen's body but doesn't move to kiss her until Carmen is on the brink of yelling out for more. As they kiss passionately Shane moves her hand under Carmen's skirt and Carmen's hips start to move back and forth. Just then there's a rustling in the bushes and JORGE GARCIA, blunders into the clearing. LONGINGS "Hot Tarzan and Jane scene!!" - ladyliquor "Would love to see the Sharmen bits on TV, although last time Jenny interrupted a lapdance I really wanted to stab her :P" - tehkid lword.fanlib.com lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 37 LYNDA (grins) Isn't that what your hard-nosed writing coach would call 'journaling'? JENNY (smiles) Yes, it probably is, but you know what? I don't care. If you have to go nuts to be a writer, then I don't want to be a writer. I just want to be honest at last. JORGE (awkward and surprised) Um... Ah... Hi, Shane, I was just needing, you know, my um hair done. Shane and Carmen leap apart, Shane tries to shield Carmen's nakedness with her body and stray fronds from nearby plants. SHANE (wide eyed) Jorge! What are you doing here? I thought everything was wrapped for the day. JORGE (starting to grin) Um, no. The director decided to do one more take on that final scene with me. We didn't think the jungle would have been taken over by Tarzana and Jane, because, you know, that's a whole different show. CARMEN (CONT’D) Since Mark's gone and Jenny's still at the clinic, why don't we stick to using the house? SHANE Good idea, Jane. INT. THE PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE – DAY The psychiatrist, LYNDA THOMAS, and Jenny are sitting facing each other. Jenny looks better than she has in a while. LYNDA Jenny, how are you feeling today? JENNY Hopeful, you know? For the first time in so long I feel like I want to write. LYNDA Is that because you want to escape your own head? Jorge exits. CARMEN (smiling) Oh my God! That has to be one of the most embarrassing moments ever! (MORE) 38 the L word a fanisode JENNY No. It's because I feel like I finally know what the truth is and I want to keep myself honest by writing only the truth. LYNDA You've come a long way Jenny. The next step is to see whether or not you can handle the real world again. What I'd like to do is move you to an outpatient program. So you'll live at home, but come and see me every day. How does that sound to you? JENNY Wow. Um. I don't know. I do feel stronger, but my mom can be kind of difficult and I feel like Rebecca needs me. LYNDA Well let's say we give it a try for a week and then I'll re-evaluate. INT. SHANE'S HOUSE – DAY Shane and Carmen are up against the fridge, both naked. Their hands are all over each other and they are mutually eating a chocolate bar which is dripping chocolate down their breasts. Shane leans to lick it off Carmen, she turns so that her back is to Shane. Shane starts rubbing her from behind. The scene moves to the lounge. Carmen is standing and straddling Shane who is lying on her back on the coffee table. Carmen grins wickedly and in her hand is swinging a large dildo. The scene moves to the porch outside which faces Mark's old cottage. Carmen is lying on top of Shane, you can she that she is wearing a strap on. She's moving slowly up and down and Shane is moaning with pleasure. lword.fanlib.com Suddenly Bette's head pops up above the fence between their properties. BETTE (looking around) Shane! Shane! CARMEN (CONT’D) Carmen turns to face the wall, she looks sad while Shane looks torn and annoyed with herself. INT. JENNY'S ROOM AT THE CLINIC – DAY Shane and Carmen leap up. SHANE What the f*ck! Carmen scurries inside. BETTE Oh Shane, there you are. Bette sees Shane is naked and realizes her mistake. BETTE Oh sh*t Shane, I'm sorry! I just saw your car and wondered if you had any milk in the house. INT. SHANE'S BEDROOM – EVENING Shane and Carmen are lying in each other's arms. SHANE Man, what is it? I mean do I have bad sex karma or what? Getting caught like that twice in one day. CARMEN Well, I guess we wouldn't feel the need to do it all the time if we just lived together. SHANE (distractedly) Yeah. You're right... (more alert) But um, hey, I mean, in theory you're right, but Jenny's coming back soon and you know... We don't want to go too fast. CARMEN (annoyed) What do you mean 'too fast'? Don't start this again, Shane. (MORE) Jenny is packing. REBECCA comes in with her mother, JAN MARTIN in tow. REBECCA Hey Jen. I wanted you to meet my mom before you go. Mom, this is Jenny. JAN Hi Jenny. Nice to meet you. Rebecca say's you've been a great friend to her in here. She needs all the help she can get to stop that awful habit of hers. JAN Yes, it's true. And I'm always looking for talent. And my plump little Becky here tells me that you might have what it takes. JENNY Hang on. Plump? Like fat? My God, who are you? You may think you're some big shot but it's your sh*t that put your daughter in here in the first place. You're just another person who ensures that beautiful women like Rebecca are kept oppressed and exploited. I don't want anything to do with you. [Round #5] JENNY (awkward) Um, yes, nice to meet you too. I'm sorry, I've got to keep packing, my mom will be here soon. UNRAVELING THE CATALYST JAN Those are some great books you've got there. Becky says you're a writer? NOMINATED BY: JENNY Yes, I am. Or I was. I wanted to be a writer but all I ever got were rejection slips. I don't think I'm up to being rejected any more. JAN Well, maybe I wouldn't reject you. Do you have some material? JENNY What do you mean? REBECCA I should have told you before. I didn't know if you'd like me for me if you knew, but my mom's head of Simon and Schuster. WRITTEN BY: Rebecca Ostman (alias "QuillinEmSoftly") DigOphelia, ErvinV, Frumple and Ckrenshaw who says, "...it gives Tina's character a little background... captures that classic Dana sense of humor... Shows how multi-facetted Alice/Dana are [and] Alice's first big step into the dark side of stalker." PROMO: The reason for the Insanity... When Alice goes too far, Dana learns the real root of her girlfriend's insecurities. A cataclysmic dinner, with everything gaily awry, causes Tina's father to reveal why he can't tolerate – much less accept. But why is Tina is the one to hurt Bette? JENNY No way! lword.fanlib.com the L word a fanisode 39 INT. BETTE AND TINA'S – EVENING BETTE What is the point of inviting them into Angelica's life if we hide who we are? TINA We don't need 'So You Want To Be A Lesbian' on our coffee table. What about the painting? INT. BETTE AND TINA'S – NIGHT INT. BETTE AND TINA'S – NIGHT Bette and Everett sit silently in the living room with Angelica. June carries a salad past window and sees Shane and Carmen jump into the pool, topless. They surface and make out. June, mortified, drops the salad. At dinner, Tina stares nervously at the painting behind her parents. Bette holds Angelica. JUNE There are two topless women kissing in your pool. BETTE I am not taking down art to appease your homophobic parents. Bette darts outside. Tina closes the blinds. Everett enters the kitchen. The phone rings, unnoticed. Doorbell rings, they answer. JUNE and EVERETT KENNARD enter. Tina hugs them. TINA I'm sorry. Our neighbors use our pool. TINA It is so good to see you. You remember Bette. EVERETT You let naked deviants use your pool? June extends her hand. Everett grips his jacket. DANA (on answering machine) Some girl is following me. I think it's that crazy fan from my last match. Alice calls ten times a day but she can't answer her f*cking phone when I have a stalk- BETTE And this is Angelica. June reaches to hold her. Everett looks curiously from Angelica to Tina. BETTE (picks up phone) Remember how Tina's parents were coming? Yes, they did. All of it. No, call the police. INT. DANA'S CAR – EVENING JACKIE follows Dana. Agitated, Dana takes two quick rights then stops at a stop sign. Jackie is stopped at Dana's left. INT. DANA'S CAR – NIGHT DANA What do you want? An autograph? A ball? Dana tries Alice again. Dana lobs tennis ball at car. DANA Dammit for once I need you to be clingy. Pick up! EVERETT You never put her down? She even sleeps with you? Sees you share a bed? TINA She sees her parents love her and each other. BETTE Between attachment parenting and Angelica's ethnicity, we are making it easier for her to understand her family dynamic. JUNE I think that's a smart idea. EVERETT Ethnicity? BETTE We wanted both of our backgrounds to be represented in her genetics, so she would resemble us both. Our donor American. TINA was African- JUNE (trying to change subject) We'd love to be at her baptism. BETTE We've decided to expose her to a diverse range of spiritual options. EVERETT She's black? ATTIC SCENE COMMENTS: "Almost makes me just want to quit reading and give this one the prize!!!" - leochris 40 the L word a fanisode UNRAVELING THE CATALYST "This one may as well be a Chevy... LIKE A ROCK... Great reading... Lots of staying power!" - ChevyGirl "DING DING DING! We have a winner. Best submission I've read so far." - ckrenshaw lword.fanlib.com JUNE Like Methodist Presbyterian? and BETTE Like Buddhist, Taoist Christian. and EVERETT This salt and pepper thing is hard enough. Now you've got a black baby? TINA She's only half black. Bette looks appalled. TINA You promised you'd try to tolerate our lives for what they are. BETTE Tolerance isn't enough. Tina needs your acceptance and so does Angelica. And I will not tolerate my daughter hearing racial slurs. EVERETT Well when you have a daughter, I'll be sure not to say any. The front door bangs open. Alice storms down the hall, shouting. lword.fanlib.com ALICE (O.S.) I hope you're here. I'm in deep sh*t. I totally f*cked up and had Dana followed and I gotta stop her from calling the cops but I don't want her to know I maybe I went a little overboard but... Oh sh*t... INT. ALICE'S APARTMENT â€“ NIGHT DANA We should call the cops before we get Sharon Tated. ALICE I'm so sorry. I had a friend follow you. Alice enters the dining room, Everett stands. ALICE (CONT'D) Oh f*ck. Sh*t, I mean, crap. I'm so sorry. Um... I'll go... f*ck. EVERETT June, I was raised in the church of God and all of this is an abomination. You gave your life to Christ when you married me. I can't understand why you encourage them. We're leaving. ALICE I hate to break it to you, but there's no God and you aren't going anywhere cause I'm blocking you in. JUNE Tina, I'm sorry. I wanted this to be different. DANA (angry, shocked) What? ALICE It's not as bad... okay, it's worse than it sounds, but I'm going to try and make it sound better than it is. I mean, I'm sorry Dane, it's just that, with Lara sniffing around... DANA Sniffing around? ALICE Emailing you with her parsley flirting, I mean, she really loved you. DANA How do you know she emailed me? the L word a fanisode 41 ALICE (stands up, agitated) I sort of went through your email. DANA You what? Alice, what do we have without trust? I need to know where your head is. You're scaring me. ALICE I trust you. I just don't trust Lara. She's not over you and, I mean, women will do anything to get what they want. Look at Helena. DANA Al. Seriously, if you don't trust Lara, we can get past that. But you have to trust me. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. Can we please stop with this craziness? ALICE (yells) Yeah, Jackie, you can go. I'll pay you tomorrow. Dana embraces Alice in forgiveness. INT. BETTE AND TINA'S – LATE NIGHT ALICE I guess that's fair. It's just that Lara's beautiful and talented and she doesn't burn dinner and she knows what to say and how to impress people and, I mean, what do I do, Dane? I keep track of who's screwing who on public radio and I stick, like, my entire leg in my mouth every time I speak and I've gained ten pounds and... DANA Alice. Stop. Lara is all those things but she can't make me laugh till I pee and she doesn't know I need mint ice cream when I'm depressed and she can't rent a movie without calling me because she doesn't know what I love. She can't find that spot on my neck that makes my knees buckle and all my friends don't love her and love how she thinks about all these connections that other people think are silly but that I totally get. She's not you, Alice. So she's not for me. BETTE I can't believe you justified my ethnicity to appease that racist bastard. You insulted who I am as a person, Tina. TINA Bette, I was just trying to shut him up. BETTE Well I guess I'm only half angry then. 42 the L word a fanisode Shane nibbles down Carmen's neck until she reaches her shoulder. CARMEN We can't do this now! People are gonna start arriving any minute SHANE This is your fault. CARMEN What's my fault? SHANE You don't realize how goddamn sexy your shoulders are. And you had to go sport an off the shoulder look. CARMEN We'll have all the time in the world to be together now that I'll be living here! SHANE Woo-hoo! Carmen's moving in. Carmen gets up and looks in the fridge. [Round #6] TO BUST OR TO BUSTIER CARMEN Oh no. I forgot to cover the guac. WRITTEN BY: Talia Gil (alias "tgil") SHANE NOMINATED BY: QuillinEmSoftly who says, "I really loved [the] little positive Dana/Alice part and the simple Moira/Jenny interaction. Just two f'd up people reaching out a little timidly. Overall, a GREAT scene." PROMO: ALICE And the ten pounds? INT. SHANE'S APARTMENT – EVENING Alice opens the door. DANA Or you? and girls have too much fun on two coasts. To Bust Or To Bustier: Not Your Average Bust - Carmen moves in with a bang and Jenny can't stomach Friday night dinner. What happens when sparks fly It's brown? CARMEN Yep. SHANE (takes a taste) No biggie. INT. SCHECTER DINING ROOM – NIGHT WARREN, SANDY, WIDOWED FRIEND and Jenny sit around table for traditional Friday night dinner. WARREN Hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz. lword.fanlib.com ALL Amen. JENNY Warren, why doesn't mom ever say the blessing over the challah? WARREN I will not have this conversation. Not at my Shabbats table. Warren exits. JENNY I'm sorry mom. SANDY Jenny. WARREN Women aren't allowed to do it. SANDY Jenny, why do you have to start in? SANDY Who has provided for us and given us many wonderful years together. JENNY Your gratitude is unnecessary. SANDY All I have ever wanted was a family with traditional Jewish values. JENNY Yes they are. The Torah commands men and women to keep the Sabbath. It doesn't say who's supposed to make the blessings on Friday night. WARREN Since when do you quote from the Torah? JENNY I went to Jewish day school for six years, Warren. SANDY Until you got thrown out. WIDOW Shanda. WARREN Well, it's not the tradition for a woman to do the blessing. JENNY You need to separate the religion from tradition. WARREN A lesbian is advising me on Jewish law and custom. SANDY Jenny's not a lesbian. JENNY Your precious Torah doesn't forbid lesbianism. In fact it's completely silent on the topic. JENNY It makes me sick to see you brainwashed by that man. SANDY That man is your father. JENNY No, all you ever wanted was to marry a Jewish doctor who would take care of you, so you've whored yourself to conform to his bastardized vision of a religious life. JENNY Stepfather. lword.fanlib.com She gets up and heads to the door. the L word a fanisode 43 SHANE Ya gotta love it. SANDY Jenny, where are you going? JENNY I can't breathe in here. .JENNY Not really. It's what I do to keep my sanity. I'm Jenny. EXT. SHANE'S APARTMENT – NIGHT INT. SHANE'S APARTMENT – NIGHT Party is bustling with gay women of all walks of life from East LA looking good and getting down. Elderly woman and husband happen by Shane's window to see Dana and Alice making out. Dana pours champagne over Alice's head and mauls her passionately. ALICE You guys deserve all the happiness in the world. Elderly woman and husband take in this shocking sight and woman takes out cell phone. INT. SKOKIE LESBIAN BAR – NIGHT Shane hands a bottle to Dana, then comes up behind Carmen who's deejaying and kisses her shoulder. CARMEN I really hope that's Shane. SHANE It's Shane's evil twin sister here to reprimand you for working too hard on your night. I brought you a treat. MOIRA Do you wanna dance? JENNY DANA That's what you get for having me followed. SHANE So do you two. Have some champagne! MOIRA Hi Jenny. I'm Moira. MOIRA is playing pool. She notices Jenny writing, drinking a beer alone at a table. They catch each other's eye. Moira shoots in the eight ball and wins the game. She gloats to some buddies and works up the confidence to approach Jenny. MOIRA I bet you'll get an A+. I'd like that. INT. SHANE'S APARTMENT – NIGHT View of backs of two POLICE OFFICERS, one male and one female, knocking on Shane's door. Shane opens door. SHANE Is there a problem? FEMALE OFFICER We've gotten calls from several of your neighbors. CARMEN (tipsy) What's going on here? She takes chocolate vagina lollypop out of her mouth. JENNY It's a chocolate vagina lollypop. What for? CARMEN (laughing) Whoa. Where'd you get this? MOIRA On your paper. I've seen you working on it every night this week. SHANE It's from Gina. JENNY It's not for school. I'm writing a novel. Gina is trying to bump and grind with Tina on the dance floor. MOIRA Wow. That's pretty impressive. CARMEN She's shameless! ATTIC SCENE COMMENTS: TO BUST OR TO BUSTIER - Elle a fanisode INT. SKOKIE LESBIAN BAR – NIGHT JENNY We're the only people dancing. MOIRA There are only about three people in the joint, so that makes us in the majority. Moira dips Jenny and as Jenny comes up their eyes meet. "Good stuff." 44 the L word Officers look at lollypop then glance at each other. "Great ideas. Little choppy though." - peepers JENNY Your eyes are stunning. MOIRA I think you're beautiful. They kiss. Jenny starts laughing. lword.fanlib.com [Round #5] What? TINA (laughs then nods) Shane. JENNY I'm sorry, but this is sooo cheesy. We're making out to True by Spandau Ballet. ALICE (to Shane) I gotta hand it to you. You know how to throw a party. WRITTEN BY: alias "fanatic" MOIRA (smiling) Moira smiles. INT. SHANE'S APARTMENT – NIGHT CARMEN (injects herself) Thank you. BETTENATOR NOMINATED BY: Tess who says, "I had tears rolling down my eyes reading this parody!" PROMO: Police officers are walking around. Shane is getting nervous. SHANE What are they looking for? CARMEN I guess we'll find out. Female officer stops the music and puts on sexy tune. She clears the wet bar and leaps on top. Everyone watches in disbelief. She strips off her uniform to the music and tears off her pants to reveal a curvaceous figure. SHANE (shocked) Oh my God! BETTE (knowingly) Shane. 46 the L word a fanisode Alice and Dana look at each other, puzzled. Second stripper tears off moustache and undoes pants to reveal long feminine legs and a sexy tush. She lets the other officer remove her shirt to reveal beautiful breasts under a glittery platinum push-up bra. These two dance skin to skin. SHANE (to Carmen) You're gonna be the best roommate ever. CARMEN Just remember who knows how to throw a party. They shoot diva's, don't they? Bette busts Tina out of the hospital. Alice and Dana are tied up. INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY – DAY Bette is standing at the front desk arguing with hospital staff. BETTE (sternly) What do you mean I can't sign her release forms? I am her life partner! SHANE I recall some brown guacamole earlier this evening. lword.fanlib.com DESK CLERK (mockingly) life partner, schmife wartner! You can't sign the release forms for Mrs. Kennard. Period! So why don't you doll yourself up, waddle to your (makes quotation marks with his fingers) "life partner" and get her to sign the forms herself? her gear: A jewel encrusted Prada AT-4 LAW rocket launcher that she shoulders, her Neimen Marcus titanium throwing knifes that she puts in her Manolo Blahnik combat boots and last but not least her 24k gold-plated Gucci M1014 combat shotgun. Bette starts walking through the rubble heading for Tina's room. INT. TINA'S ROOM â€“ DAY Bette glares angry at the clerk for a moment. BETTE (cold) Gunshots and screams can be heard from the outside. Tina has hidden with Angelica behind her bed. We hear Bette screaming outside Tina's room. I'll be back! BETTE (muffled screaming) Eat lead breeders! DESK CLERK (condescending) I'm sure you will. Bette turns around on her heel and walks back to her Saab in the parking lot. The desk clerk just sits back down and continues his work. We see him typing something into the computer when screams and squealing tires catch his attention. He looks up from his desk just to see Bette ramming her Saab full speed through the glass doors and right at him. The Saab crashes through the desk and traps the clerk barely alive between the car and the wall behind him. The clerk looks at Bette as she glares at him from behind the wheel. Bette's right hand leaves the wheel and reaches for her trusty Dolce & Gabana UZI. She aims it at the trapped clerk and empties a clip of armor piercing rounds into him, sending the rest of the scared visitors and personnel running for cover. A couple of shotgun blasts can be heard and screams of panicking people. A loud explosion shakes the building just a second before Bette kicks the door in. Surrounded by wallowing smoke, she stands in the doorframe with the still smoking jewel encrusted Prada AT-4 LAW rocket launcher on her shoulder. BETTE Get up babe, time to leave this place! Tina slowly comes out of her hiding place. Bette calmly reloads and then exits her totaled Saab. She walks calmly to the trunk and opens it. She grabs the rest of ATTIC SCENE COMMENTS: "Wow... this just makes me really want to see Bette and Jack Bauer on their own show." - MmmAwHellNo lword.fanlib.com TINA (scared) What happened Bette?! What is going on? BETTE (reassuring) Nothing babe, just some administrative bumps I had to straighten out. TINA Oh, I see... BETTE (sweetly) Let me take Amanda while you get your things. TINA (raising her brow) Angelica... BETTE Huh? TINA ...our daughter? BETTE Is something wrong with Ariel? TINA Uuhm... her name's A-N-G-E-LI-C-A... BETTE Of course it is... didn't I say Angelina? Tina just rolls her eyes and hands Angelica to Bette while she packs her things. INT. ALICE'S APARTMENT, DUNGEON ROOM â€“ DAY Alice's hidden sex dungeon is a windowless room filled with a huge assortment of sex toys, ranging from strap-ons to a well stocked chest with bondage ropes. We see a naked Dana chained to the wall upside down on an oversized x. Alice stands in front of her with a garden hose. BETTENATOR "The desk clerk should be John Cleese, LOL! Props!" - Maud "KICK A$$ FUNNY!!!!" - sark15 "I have no words for how horrid and inappropriate this is." - QuillinEmSoftly "So confused, yet amused. Someone abused. I feel used." - jbaker22 the L word a fanisode 47 ALICE (playful) It eats my pussy, or it gets the hose again! DANA (mock pleading) Ooh please don't make me do that. If you let me go now... Alice just grins and sprays Dana with cold water. DANA (surprised) Hey... quit it! ALICE (with a sly smile) Make me! Alice drops the hose and walks up to Dana. INT. AMBULANCE – DAY Bette is driving the ambulance at breakneck speed, sirens wailing. Tina is in the back trying to keep Angelica safe. BETTE (angry) Damn, WeHo starts to look more and more like Vancouver, eh? TINA Yeah, what's that all aboot? They both shrug. BETTE (giddy) Look! Suks-dot-com has a sixty off sale! Bette points at a passing billboard. Bette and Tina look at each other and then at the camera. BETTE & TINA (smiling) At Suks-dot-com we always find the freshest fashion! 48 the L word a fanisode INT. LIVING ROOM IN A MANHATTAN APARTMENT – NIGHT Six women are spread around the room, watching Bette and Tina's escape on their TV. WOMAN 1 (bored) Wow, this show manages to get stupider every season... WOMAN 2 (bored too) What did you expect... the guy who created it wrote the story for Barb Wire... WOMAN 1 (lackadaisical) You got a point there... WOMAN 3 (tipsy) Anyone else want another Sex on the beach? ALL IN UNISON Hells yes! TO BE CONTINUED? lword.fanlib.com UDI BEHR, JEWELRY DESIGNER, LOVE AND PRIDE wearyourloveandpride 1 866 808 LOVE (5683) EXCLUSIVELY AT STEEL LIVE LOVE BRACELET $29 18K GOLD VERSION $695 booty call THE FANISODE PRIZE SHOWCASE S ome say "Creative expression is its own reward." Others say "Show mama some bling." Since our goal is to please all the fans, we decided to shower you with a plethora of prizes. Congratulations to all the winners and a sincere thanks to those who supported the Fanisode with your generous contributions. GRAND PRIZES WRITER'S GRAND PRIZE Awarded at the end of the event by random drawing to one (1) registered participant who previously won a Weekly Writer's Prize (1) Email Mentoring Session with Ilene Chaiken, creator of The L Word (1) $2,000 saks.com shopping spree* PARTICIPANT'S GRAND PRIZE Awarded at the end of the event by random drawing to one (1) registered participant who voted or submitted during the event WINNERS Jan Naugle (jaroo9) from Colorado Shentel (nastyshenny) from Hawaii (1) $1,000 saks.com shopping spree* * Redeemable at saks.com or any Saks Fifth Avenue department store WEEKLY PRIZES WINNERS WRITER'S PRIZE Awarded at the end of each round to one (1) registered participant who writes the top ranking scene submission Luna & Renee Foxx (Ratgurrlz) from New Jersey, Ervin Anderson (ErvinV) from New Jersey, Tess Whitehurst (Tess) from North Carolina, Leslie Samenuk (leslie) from Ohio, Jan Naugle (Jaroo9) Colorado, Victoria Weber Villareale (Toriaweber) from Florida, Kate Juneau (tonys_love_2003) from Michigan (1) $100 Gift Certificate to the Love and Pride jewelry store (1) The L Word Script autographed by creator Ilene Chaiken (1) Piece of wardrobe or a prop from the set of The L Word PARTICIPANT'S PRIZE Awarded at the end of each round by random drawing to one (1) registered participant who voted or submitted during the event (1) $50 Gift Certificate to the Showtime Store (1) "The L Word: Welcome to Our Planet" book published by Simon Fireside BONUS WRITER'S PRIZE Awarded at the end of rounds 2-7 to one (1) registered participant who writes a scene submission ranked between 2 and 25 (1) $50 Gift Certificate to the Showtime Store (1) "Imagine Me & You" logo t-shirt and potted lily from Fox Searchlight 50 the L word a fanisode Renee (verbenetta) from Pennsylvania, Jenna (jainanicole) from VirgAinia, Pam (panama_x) from Tennessee, Laura Kreiger (Lk) from Maryland, Jennifer (teddy83ar) from North Carolina, Mario (estebanator) from California, Lisa (dalander4) from Oregon Meredith (hummeraz) from Arizona, Cynthia Krenshaw (ckrenshaw) from Louisiana , Rebecca Ostman (QuillinEmSoftly) from Virginia, Linda Yandell (lovercomeback) from New York, Scott (ruddgoesaround) from Michigan, Christina Pereida (Toyinbabeland) from Texas lword.fanlib.com PRIZES COURTESY OF Ilene Chaiken The L Word, Creator/Executive Producer Fox Searchlight Love and Pride Jewelry Saks.com Showtime Networks Simon Fireside EARLY BIRD PRIZES PLATINUM PRIZE Awarded by random drawing to one (1) participant who registers by noon (ET) on Feb. 3, 2006 WINNERS A (xanalaru) from North Carolina (1) $2,000 saks.com shopping spree* GOLD PRIZES Awarded by random drawing to six (6) participants who register by noon (ET) on Feb 3, 2006 (1) $500 saks.com shopping spree* * Redeemable at saks.com or any Saks Fifth Avenue department store lword.fanlib.com Amber (spring0924) from Tennessee, Jason (CubJPS) from California, Potato (crumbles), Chris (kmr971) from New York, Merle Willoughby (mwillobe) from Georgia, Stephanie (centralndnchick_1) from Michigan the L word a fanisode 51 the L word: a fanisode credits T he L Word: A Fanisode was a truly collective endeavor made possible by nearly 20,000 writers and reviewers. 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