Love in the therapy room
feature article
Accepting the therapeutic relationship as love Stephen Paul and Divine Charura believe that selfless love is central to successful psychotherapy
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e propose that love is central to a successful therapeutic relationship. The founders of different modalities such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Rogers, in their different ways, maintain the importance of love. We invite you to revisit the place of selfless love in your therapeutic work.
What the research tells us After decades of competition between the different modalities of therapy as to which therapy is best, research findings have clearly found that the model of therapy in itself makes no significant difference to outcome. Common factors have been identified across the modalities that are intrinsic to success in therapy. These are: extratherapeutic factors that are part of the client’s personal life out of therapy which
Divine Charura
Divine is a senior lecturer in counselling and psychotherapy at Leeds Metropolitan University. He also works as a UKCP registered psychotherapist for the Leeds and York NHS Trust and has work experience in diverse therapeutic settings. His psychotherapeutic interests are in transcultural work, working with individuals experiencing complex psychological distress, working with difference/diversity, relationship issues and their impact on mental health. Divine is also a lover of photography, fashion design, art, music and outdoor pursuits.
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aid recovery regardless of participation in psychological therapy; hope/expectancy that results from the client’s knowledge that s/he is being treated and from the belief that therapy will ‘work’; model or technique factors unique to particular therapies (homework tasks, desensitisation, etc); and last but not least, the therapeutic relationship. The therapeutic relationship, however, is now generally accepted as being the most important factor in therapy within the therapist’s power. Paul and Haugh (2008) highlight that the relationship is the most significant in-therapy factor in relation to positive outcomes. The functions of the therapeutic relationship include variables that are evidenced regardless of the therapist’s theoretical orientation. These are what may be termed empathy, warmth and acceptance.
Stephen Paul
Stephen is director of The Centre for Psychological Therapies at Leeds Metropolitan University and a psychotherapist. He has practised as a therapist for over 30 years and worked in higher education for over 20 years. He is co-editor of The Therapeutic Relationship: Themes and Perspectives (PCCS , 2008) and has been commissioned by Sage to write The Therapeutic Relationship in Counselling and Psychotherapy (forthcoming: January 2014).
We propose, as others before us, that these facilitative conditions are intrinsically human and furthermore intrinsic to the human condition. Patterson believed that these conditions ‘constitute love in the highest sense or agape’ (1974: 89,90). If in some way therapy provides help for the suffering of people who are missing love in their lives, then perhaps it is not implausible to suggest that some kind of love (agape) is an indispensable ingredient in the therapeutic relationship itself.
Fear of love in therapy In our academic work, and our conversations with colleagues and students, we note that using the word ‘love’, particularly when considering the love that the therapist might have for the patient/ client, provokes a sense of caution and taboo for some. These concerns are packed with cautions of dynamics of transference, counter-transference, ethical considerations, fears of erotic feelings towards clients and fears of malpractice. Interestingly however, in relation to this concept of love, Freud noted in a letter to Carl Jung in 1906 that psychoanalysis is in essence a cure through love. In another context, namely at the Viennese Psychoanalytic Society, Freud expounded on the curative factor and power of psychoanalysis, again stating that it resides in love – meaning transference love. We concur that perhaps the fear of the erotic holds back a pure loving encounter. Given the magnitude of writing in the psychoanalytic field and in other modalities, it is clear that the issue of love within the therapeutic relationship is charged. We also acknowledge that there have been developments in the psychoanalytic field, particularly an openness to explore the therapeutic relationship as a living dynamic and to explore the issue of love further. Ferenczi (1932) wrote: But if the patient notices that I feel a real compassion for her and that I am eagerly determined to search for the causes of her suffering, she then suddenly not only
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