feature article The theory of love
romantic love. You described to me how you two fell in love so quickly and became close physically and emotionally. That intense connection was a binding force that sustained you through your early years together. Eros can bring colour to what sometimes seems a black and white world. Consider your second love preferences. David’s second most preferred style is storge, which is friendship love and another basis for your relationship. When Lily was diagnosed with cancer and the world turned upside down, your friendship stayed strong, yet you only rarely were lovers. Caroline’s second preferred love style is agape, or altruistic love. Usually this love is directed toward a partner, but in this case I expect that Caroline’s selfless love turned toward Lily. So you lost, or I would say ‘misplaced’, your most important love style. But that was what the situation required. Is this making some sense to you both?
This brief excerpt shows how the love styles can help explain some aspects of a couple’s marital dilemma.
Hendrick C, Hendrick SS and Reich DA (2006). ‘The Brief Sexual Attitudes Scale’. The Journal of Sex Research, 43, pp76–86.
Conclusions
Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (1987). ‘Multidimensionality of sexual attitudes’. The Journal of Sex Research, 23, pp502–526.
We have found partners to be very interested in their own and each other’s love styles. This knowledge appears to promote further understanding of their relationship. The LAS seems ideally suited for certain aspects of couple therapy, and research indicates that it is a reliable and valid instrument. So it remains for therapists and researchers to establish clinical norms for the LAS. P
References Contreras R, Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (1996). ‘Perspectives on marital love and satisfaction in Mexican American and Anglo couples’. Journal of Counseling and Development, 74, pp408–415. Hendrick C and Hendrick SS (1986). ‘A theory and method of love’. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, pp392–102. Hendrick C, Hendrick SS and Dicke A (1998). ‘The Love Attitudes Scale: Short Form’. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, pp147–159.
Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (1993). ‘Lovers as friends’. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, pp459–466. Hendrick SS, Dicke A. and Hendrick C (1998). ‘The Relationship Assessment Scale’. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, pp137–142. Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (2006). ‘Measuring respect in close relationships’. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23, pp881–899. Lee JA (1973). The colors of love: an exploration of the ways of loving. Don Mills, Ontario: New Press. Meeks BS, Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (1998). ‘Communication, love, and relationship satisfaction’. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, pp755–773. White JK, Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (2004). ‘Big five personality variables and relationship constructs’. Personality and Individual Differences, 37, pp1519–1530.
Invitation UKCP’s 4th open forum
Critical moments for psychotherapy in Britain Saturday, 8 December 2012 • Central London • 9.30am to 4.30pm Topics covered at the next forum will be: The UKCP register The register was created with the aim to create common standards and to advance the professional accountability and recognition for psychotherapists. This autumn’s launch of the government’s Assured Voluntary Regulation scheme by the CHRE (soon to be renamed Professional Standards Authority (PSA) marks a crucial milestone on this journey for psychotherapy and psychotherapeutic counselling in Britain. We will update you on the progress made with time for questions and discussion..
UKCP’s Central Complaints Process (CCP) Created well before the government’s U-turn on regulation, the process of rolling out the CCP to cover all members on the UKCP’s register is well underway and expected to be completed by the end of 2013, the very year UKCP’s register will turn 20. Much work has been done over the past 12 months to improve the CCP and develop it into an efficient, consistent and fair process that can deliver effective and prompt resolution of complaints. We will update you on the progress made and on the outcomes of this autumn’s CCP consultation.
UKCP’s ethical stance As the main professional body for psychotherapy in Britain, UKCP
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has issued position statements about torture and about ‘reparative therapy’. At the open forum, we want to hear your views on whether we should also debate and agree ethical positions on other controversial issues in general society. The issue of dignity in dying / assisted suicide, for instance, is similarly complex and sensitive and, in the context of psychotherapy practice, may potentially bring up serious confidentiality conflicts for practitioners. UKCP could also consider developing an ecology statement. Are there other issues the psychotherapy profession could or should take a position on? We are inviting vox-pop speakers to open up a discussion on the idea in principle of such position statements and a more proactive stance for UKCP in society.
Join the debate in person or via video link from your computer Booking process Pre-booking is essential for this event and viewing the live video link. To guarantee your place, please complete our online form which you can find on our website at: www.ukcp.org.uk/openforum2012
For further information please contact: events@ukcp.org.uk ● 020 7014 9966 or visit our website: www.ukcp.org.uk/events
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