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FILM
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ART
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EVENTS
999 Eyes Freakshow & Surreal Sideshow
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CUISINE
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Austin’s 999 Eyes is a throwback traveling carnystyle sideshow featuring glass walking, balloon and sword swallowing, human pincushions, beds of nails and other illusions and freakshow stunts. Ratty Scurvics and the Black Market Butchers also perform. Tickets $10. 10 p.m. Friday. One Eyed Jacks, 615 Toulouse St., 569-8361; www.oneeyedjacks.net
Avant Garden PHOTO COURTESY CONSTANCE
A HOLIDAY LIST OF WHAT’S NAUGHTY AND NICE.
A.J. Allegra stars in David Sedaris’ The Santaland Diaries, an account of working at Macy’s during the holidays.
BY WILL COVIELLO t is the best of times, it is the worst of times: the holidays. Perhaps that’s the wrong Dickens classic, but the holidays bring joy to some and dread to others. For everyone who can’t wait for another version of The Nutcracker or viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life, there’s someone who finds great relief in The Santaland Diaries or Billy Bob Thornton as Bad Santa. Whether you like to observe the holidays in precious or irreverent fashion, there’s enough going on in New Orleans this week to fill all sorts of naughty and nice wish lists. High expectations and holiday anxieties collide in the new holiday classic The Santaland Diaries, David Sedaris’ chronicle (adapted by Joe Mantello) of working as an elf at Santaland at Macy’s in New York City. Amid the holiday rush, parents and children wait in long lines for a visit with Santa, and eventually their dreams and frustrations spill out in hilarious and revealing fashion. “Everyone is familiar with the voices of children at the holidays,” says A.J. Allegra, who is reprising his successful run of the one-man show at Mid-City Theatre. “But this is the voice of someone who has to work at the holidays. It’s about the daily grind.” In the wickedly funny play, Sedaris finds inspiring high points, but much of it focuses on punching the clock at the joy factory that is the behemoth New York department store’s holiday attraction. Children melt
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down and cry when they see Santa. New Yorkers hassle the elves, and the faux wonderland is a beacon to all sorts of odd people. In reality, elf work is a pretty good job, says the NOLA Project’s Alex Martinez Wallace (currently starring in Romeo and Juliet at NOMA). He worked as an elf at Macy’s in New York last year. (His elf name was Fezziwig, a character from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and the name of a Samuel Adams seasonal brew.) “It was a great gig,” Wallace says when asked if it lived up to Sedaris’ description. “I got to dress up like a fool and screw around. There were a few manager elves — called White Flowers. They would come over and deal with any problems.” Once, when a determined customer bull-rushed him to get in the closing doors at the end of the day, a White Flower asked him why he didn’t physically restrain the man. But most duties were more amusing and free of elf overseers, he says. “Once I was working as an ‘exit elf,’” he says. “It’s so simple — you just thank people for coming. (White Flowers) wouldn’t watch you as much because it’s easy. I made up my own version of (Journey’s) ‘Don’t Stop Believing’: ‘Just a small town elf / living on this arctic shelf … ’ It was great.” Wallace also sang on street corners for the Salvation Army, and that involved more conventional holiday PAGE 38
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The semi-annual art market, hosted by arts publisher and cultural curator Constance, features local designers, artists, musicians, record collectors and dozens of other vendors, including dishes from vegetarian pop-up Tsai and cocktails from Chris Hannah of French 75. Pecha Kucha Night presentations from 10 idea makers follow (7 p.m. to 9 p.m.). 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Joan Mitchell Center, 2275 Bayou Road; www. weareconstance.org
Fess Fest
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Tipitina’s celebrates the life and music of Professor Longhair with an all-star lineup including Donald Harrison (pictured), Glen David Andrews, David Torkanowsky, Al “Carnival Time” Johnson, Tom McDermott, Joe Krown, Brother Tyrone & the Mindbenders, Cosimo Effect, Alfred “Uganda” Roberts, Jo “Cool” Davis, Rich Vogel and others. (In a reverent aside note, the bust of Fess inside the club was made by the late Coco Robicheaux.) Tickets $15. 7:30 p.m. Sunday. Tiptina’s, 501 Napoleon Ave., 8958477; www.tipitinas.com
Harry Shearer & Friends’ Holiday Sing-Along She brings the standards; he provides the deviation. Crooner Judith Owen and cutup Harry Shearer’s annual Holiday Sing-Along tour reaches its zenith (or nadir) every year in New Orleans, where area guests and a tippling audience turn caroling into a full-contact sport. Tickets $30 in advance, $35 day of show (CAC members $20/$30). 4 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. Sunday. Contemporary Arts Center, 900 Camp St., 528-3805; www.cacno.org
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Gambit > bestofneworleans.com > december 13 > 2011
Good Santa vs. Bad Santa
DEC
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