UPFRONT
The busy busy lives that we all lead make us think that inaction is a bad thing, something to be frowned upon by those people less inclined to put their feet up and have a bit of nibble on a chocolate Hobnob whilst perusing the Jeremy Kyle All Singing All Dancing Academy Award Winning Show... but I sometimes wonder if all this action is taking its toll on us as humans? When did we last take a step back from all this action, and take life just as it comes – without feeling the need to go at things like a bull in a china shop? Life’s too short for buzzing around like a bee on speed, chillax man – do a Cameron why don’t ya... Just look at the word itself. Action. Immediately I conjour up clapper boards a la Steven Spielberg, perma-tanned little plastic men with all sorts of war-like accoutrements that any boy (or man) could desire, Titanic when the shout first went out “Action Stations - there’s a dirty great big iceberg to your right”, and I can obviously see the excitement in getting a piece of the action or the last piece of cake, depending on your view point and position in your menstrual cycle. The word seems so full of busy connotations, you just can’t be a conscientious objector when it comes to the war against inertia. I wonder why they have never made an Action Woman – (or perhaps they have, and I am just far too busy to have noticed?) but presumably she would wear out in no time at all, given all the additional jobs on top of her paid work as the first female SAS trained undercover MI5 Agent with a PhD from Oxford and a secondary degree in Advanced Cupcake Design, that she would need to do. All Action Man had on his plate, it seems to me, was stand about – or lie about, with strange hands gripping innumerable small objects most likely to be sucked up a hoover by Mum. Action Man was a warrior to be proud of apparently. All boys everywhere coveted his muscles, exciting dress code and his strange no-hair hairline. Didn’t do it for me of course, being a girl I just thought he was a bit effeminate.
The reality is less Bear Grylls and more Yogi Bear of course. How often, in my career, have I been told that I am an invaluable employee and totally “part of the action”. What action would that be then? Advanced Tea Making, Extreme Shredding, or worse still - Minute Taking Madness to name but three associated office tasks. To think that you could be lead astray by a small word and imagine that everything is soooo exciting! Actually, to be inactive takes a bit of contrived action – if you know what I mean. To be inactive and not be found out is very clever but should not be confused with total inertia or death and decay. The sort of inactivity I refer to can be seen sometimes on hospital wards, teaching staff rooms or in fact at any States Meeting. It is all about being seen to be taking action, but in actual fact, not actually getting anything done at all. You know the sort of thing - doing a bit of rushing about in small spurts, quite possibly hanging on to reams of paperwork, groaning “I’ll never get it done” or frowning in that browbeaten way which always gives rise to other people asking “are you OK?” to which you obviously reply “too much to do, no time to do it...” And then huffing and puffing around in general (for approximately five minutes) prior to sitting down and breathing deeply before demanding a cup of coffee “stat”. Politicians are great for this sort of thing and actually NOT taking any action at all. How else can we explain away the Tony Blair years? Action is all very well, but my considered opinion is that the human race would be far better off if it just took things a little easier... By all means take action when it is demanded, and don’t faff about, but in general take your foot off the gas and just coast a little through life – being inactive is the new Pilates or so I am reliably told...
If you are a Hollywood star or someone from Essex perhaps with delusions of inadequacy, then the words “Camera, Lights, Action” really ring your bell. I understand though, for every two hours hanging around a film set, about three minutes is actual action – so perhaps this is not the best example of the busy, exhausting lives that our actors go on about. If you are “in on the action”, one is part of something very exciting or so it would appear.
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GUERNSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE