Fsreview 2013

They introduce themselves, the tall one as M, the other as S, and the girl as L. We all have to fill out surveys, declaring which seminar we came for, our reactions to certain hypothetical situations, and share our responses with our group.

Once we are finished, we will receive twenty dollars for our time and a lollipop.

I think they are setting me up to hate psychology and those who study it for the rest of my life.

As we go around, the other members of my group shrug off the questions and joke about the dramatic family members in the intervention question. I smile and wait for my turn. K is the only one that came for the tarot reading, while the rest are smokers trying to quit. Except for L. She explains how her mother talked her into coming and that she has no intention of quitting until she is at least twenty six. “That’s when I’ll get married. That’s when I’ll have to consult another person about what I breathe in, you know?” she tells us.

When they get to me, I lie about my reason for being there and claim to be a social smoker. How am I supposed to openly admit I actually paid attention to a flyer asking for lonely people? They all believe me and we stack our surveys neatly on the table closest to us. I feel just as badly as before except now I am clutching a strawberry lollipop on the walk back to the train station.

“Hey, wait up! Where are you going?” M and K are skip running towards me. I see the rest of the group lagging behind, the tobacco cloud they carry with them reaches me first and I breathe it in like I am used to it.

In between panting, K manages to speak, “we’re all going to head over to a party on Third Street. You should come along!” She smiles at me breathlessly and I look down at my hands.

“I don’t know. It’s getting late and I have to take the train back in to the city.”

“No no no. You will come to the party with us and we’ll all get a cab. L and I live off Waverly.” M says.

“I mean, I don’t know, I have a paper, and I have to feed my cat.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. If it’s not, we’ll call an asteroid to Earth via Twitter.” It is the first time S has spoken directly to me and his face stays stuck in a smirk.

Boys that smirk are the most dangerous, but I am sold on both ideas. *** I am lying in a stranger’s driveway. I have lost my jacket somewhere inside of this house and I need something to fend off the cold. The wine obviously didn’t.

Or the mixed drinks. Or the liquor I found under the kitchen sink. I haven’t seen the kids from the seminar in what feels like two hours. In actuality, it has been more like fifteen minutes but time is moving very strangely at this point.

“Jesus turned water into wine, and I turned wine into more time to be lost in someone’s house. I am practically the less accomplished sister of Jesus.” I roll over onto my side and yell it at no one in particular. The neighbor’s dog looks at me from behind his picket fence and paces. At least someone is concerned.

I apologize out loud to my very Catholic mother who is twelve hundred miles 9