OOPS You: Ritz bartender off work. Me: black curls, green eyes, soft lips. We started making out (for some reason), I paused long enough to ask if u had a gf (OOPS), u said no and we kept going at it. Somehow I have pics of the hot makeout session thanks to my roommate. Good times, I want more!! When: April 17, 2011. Where: Ritz. #1117-0510 CUTE GUY ON THE PHONE I first saw you walking around the library, you were wearing a blue shirt, you had a blonde shaved head, khaki shorts. Then as I was leaving you were on the phone outside, we made eye contact and shared a smile. When: May 4, 2011. Where: Jacksonville Public Library. #1116-0510 WHICH END WAS UP? Your laughter, a melody at my manchild ways. Me, a blubbering idiot for a simple jappy Jew. Let’s sit together forever and watch the world go by. Took losing each other to find each other again. Forever after starts now. When: March 25, 2011. Where: Everywhere. #1115-0503 WE LOCKED EYES I fell hopelessly in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. I’d do anything to just glance one more time into your eyes and kiss your soft lips. I have and I always will. When: April 25, 2011. Where: Our special place by the dumpster. #1114-0503 NATIVE PRINCESS When I met you the blueprint was written. The hair, the curves and the wit are making me smitten. Now I totally know what I want my Robot Girlfriend to look like. So, thanks, Panda. When: Heaven. Where: April 23, 2011. #1113-0503 LEGALLY LUSCIOUS I was enjoying my coffee when your sexy sculptured physique caught my eye. You told me about recently graduating law school. That’s good because I am building a case against you for stealing my heart. I’d love to talk some legal jargon and ride your bike. I’ll be careful popping the wheelies. Do you object? When: April 19, 2011. Where: Starbucks in Riverside. #1112-0503 GIGGLING GATOR & GYM You: tall, blonde, wearing a Simpsons/FamilyGuy? shirt. Me: oversized yellow shirt. We met once before at a scummy bar, but my wing(wo)man flailed on me & you forgot my name. The second incident was the gym, but I choked. You offered me a place to crash initially, maybe I’ll take you up on that next time? When: April 20, 2011. Where: The Giggling Gator/ Gym. #1111-0503 HOTTIE IN THE GARDEN You, lounging on your foldout in the middle of your Forbes Street yard. I stopped back by in my jeep and you were diggin in the dirt. I think you said your name, but all I can remember is beautiful. When: April 1, 2011. Where: Riverside. #1110-0426 STRAWBERRY MOJITO After we harassed the waiter for strawberry mojitos, it sounded pretty tasty, so you ordered one. Care for another? When: April 19, 2011. Where: Mossfire. #1109-0426
black hair, glasses. You did something to me. When: April 14, 2011. Where: My Workplace in Orange Park. #1106-0426 BEAUTY AND THE BANK You looked a bit flustered at the ATM. Your beautiful curly locks, mesmerizing emerald eyes, and even your faint, perfectly placed freckles made my heart beat frantically. I hope whoever put that ring on hand fi lls you with the magnitude of joy you fi lled me with in those brief seconds of bliss! When: March 22, 2011. Where: Chase Bank ATM. #1105-0426 I SAID HI You were passing me at the register that evening, with a white shirt, and your beautiful eyes reached mine and I said hi. Wish I could have said more. But the smile you gave me with those eyes sold me. Wish I could see you again. When: April 11, 2011. Where: Kangaroo on Southside near Avenues Mall. #1104-0419 NAVY OFFICER BEACH BEAUTY Sorry I thought you worked at Walmart, but my point was I wanted to ask you out. I could use a little Naval discipline. When: April 10, 2011. Where: Jax Beach. #1103-0419 HANDSOME AT LOFT THURSDAY You: Handsome, tall, wearing a black DC shirt outside The Loft on Thursday. Wanted to talk to you, will I get the chance? When: April 7, 2011. Where: The Loft. #1102-0419 I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD I saw you under the pier, lying stiff as a board and it looked like you weren’t breathing. I poked you and you jumped up at me like a crazy person, but that’s the fastest my heart has ever beat. I hope you read this and remember me, maybe we can talk someday. When: April 5, 2011. Where: Under the pier. #1101-0412 WHITE FEDORA, TOP AND PANTS Hat with black band set off your olive skin, your toes were the only other color besides your beautiful eyes. Got you dancing, dreaming, my Queen, I’ve found her! Hoping he’s just a date? A beautiful smile and the face of an angel. Meet me: grey shirt, black hair, for more good music, dancing, smiles, Baymeadows’ My Place, Fridays. When: Sunday after Blues Fest. Where: Atlantic after Blues Fest. #1100-0412 UNDERWATER BANANA HAMMOCK I was taking a dive in the deep end, and swam past the most beautiful humpback whale. You may not be a whale, but I think you know what I want to do to your back. It’s true what they say, “Abyss” was the greatest movie of the ‘80s. Let’s make bubbles. When: March 30, 2011. Where: Underwater. #1099-0412
HEY, I SAW U! I saw you strutting your stuff at some wings n a boat place. Think you’re a fly chick. I know where to fi nd you. Wanna play? When: March 29, 2011. Where: Buffalo Wild Wings. #1098-0405 SOUTHSIDE FENDER BENDER Oops! Sorry about that. You: tall, hot, unshaven, driving a truck. Me: flustered blonde on my way to work. Even though there was no damage, wish we would have exchanged info. When: Feb. 2011. Where: Southside Blvd. #1097-0405 INTRIGUED AT BONEFISH We talked briefly at BoneFish. You are a PT. We never got a chance to finish our conversation. You definitely piqued my interest. Would love to chat more and see where it goes if you are up for it. When: March 24, 2011. Where: BoneFish Jax Beach. #1096-0405 DID YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR CHIROPRACTOR? We were both looking at DVDs in the library. Hope you did not have to see your chiropractor! When: March 36, 2011. Where: Library. #1095-0405 ST. PATRICK’S AROUND MIDNIGHT You: blond, young, attractive, next to me at the bar. Neither of us said a word. You kept caressing my arm. I should have said hello, or at least bought you a drink. When: March 17, 2011. Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1094-0405 WHAT DOES MP MEAN? You have an Irish name but don’t look Irish. You asked about my goofy foot tattoos. Then you left. Sad face. See you next time, maybe. When: March 17, 2011. Where: BCB. #1093-0329 I’LL LET YOU DO DINNER HUMOR We sat across the same table at a networking meeting. You, tall dark & handsome. Me, trying to catch your attention. I tried to make you laugh and in your deadpan ways you told me you’ll do the humor. I know I’ll win you over. Care to share business cards? When: Feb. 28, 2011. Where: San Jose Country Club. #1091-0322 EXCITEDLY SEEKING HOT FILIPINO You were a hot enthusiastic Filipino; a total flirt. It was Feb. 9. I think you understand why I can’t say exactly how we met, but I was the super sexy redhead w/ the great personality. We talked about Hawaii and your hand. I want to know if you were serious about us going out! When: Feb. 9, 2011. Where: Cambridge Medical Institute. #1090-0322 HOTTIE ON HARLEY You were checking out my pollen-covered black car and flirting? with me and my grandson in his car seat of course.
You: man. Me: woman. When: Feb. 24, 2011. Where: Southside Blvd. #1089-0322 BABY GOT SAUCE Our friends kind of hung out upstairs during the G. Love show. We ended up having our picture taken together by a stranger but I left without finding out your last name. I had a blast. Maybe we can catch another show. When: March 10, 2011. Where: Freebird Live. #1088-0322 HARLEY GUY AT RICH’S BARBEQUE I see you a few times a month at Rich’s Barbeque between noon and 1 pm. You are dark-headed with greying hair, usually wear black jacket or black Harley shirt, you drive black Ford, eat from salad bar. I love your eyes but they look sad. I am petite crazy blonde, drive a red Chevy. Let’s have lunch. When: March 5, 2011. Where: Rich’s Barbeque, North Main Street. #1087-0322 TEXTING MOCHA GODDESS AT COMETRY You: Butter-pecan tan beauty in black top, fitted jeans with wide cuff and heels. Me: Chocolate hunk in white/yellow/ green striped shirt, tan pants wearing glasses sitting at next table. I noticed you all night, but mind was too cloudy to approach because bartender made a great drink. I am sober minded now — I would love to converse. When: March 15, 2011. Where: Square One. #1092-0322 KIDS TEMP, STARBUCKS RIVERSIDE I was at Starbucks Riverside with my mom. We laughed about the barista’s lack of concern for publicly preserving your tough, manly image. No need to be shy about your preference for lukewarm coffee. I have a feeling that preference doesn’t translate into the other facets of your life. p.s. Cute Ray Bans. When: Feb. 25, 2011. Where: Starbucks Riverside. #1080-0308 ORTEGA RIVER RUN RACE PACKET While walking toward St. Mark’s Episcopal Day School, you asked me where to pick up your Ortega River Run packet. I showed you, and when you had it you found me and thanked me. Me: Black shorts, ‘10 Gate River Run shirt, talking with friend. You: Long brown hair, black shorts. I wish you hadn’t run away so quickly — would love to train with you sometime. When: Feb. 26, 2011. Where: Ortega River Run. #1079-0308 LATE FOR CLASS We never really talked the first half of the semester, but you were always on my wavelength. Class never really started until we arrived. Now that I know you live down the street, I’m hoping you’ll stop by and bring your High Lifes and PBRs. Because I can tell that we are gonna be friends. When: Fall 2010. Where: FSCJ Kent Campus. #1076-0222
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SHARKFEST 2011 You: Red shirt, jeans. Me: Black button-down and dark hair. We made eye contact a few times. Loved your tongue technique with those jello shots. Maybe we can have a little more oral … conversation! When: April 16, 2011. Where: Sharkfest 2011. #1108-0426
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MY CHOCOLATE DESIRE You: black workout suit. Me: black/white striped tank. You had me speechless when you walked over to me and placed your arm around me. So much so... I have no idea what you said to me. LOL Let’s try this again? Ms. Intrigued. When: April 15, 2011. Where: Folio Weekly’s Margarita Fest. #1107-0426
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ONLY THERE FOR ORIENTATION… I passed you in the main hallway. You had a perfect smile and perfect eyes. We locked eyes up until we passed. And I ran into you a few more times. I had a black polo, short
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MAY 10-16, 2011 | folio weekly | 47