Photo by Jazmin Reyes
P I H S ? N O I T A L E R
A & Q
I am a single 26-year-old female, and since I am not married or in a relationship, friends seem to think I am past my prime. How should I handle this? We are curious if any of your friends are named Helga, wear bones in their hair and carry clubs. In the 21st century you are still very young. It is important to recognize that the brain is not fully developed until age 25. This means that you are only one year into being a full-fledged adult. Many women across many cultures around the world marry past 26 years old. There is nothing wrong in waiting for the right person or even choosing a single lifestyle. In fact, research suggests there are many benefits for women who remain single, such as higher earning potential and more day-to-day freedom. “In a dual-working family, women still end up with more of the responsibility for children, less of an opportunity to advance their careers than do men, and a lot more stress engaged in both at work and at home, because they are trying to negotiate those two spaces,” according to Florence B. Bonner, Ph.D., professor and chairperson of the department of sociology at Howard University. God has a plan for each of us and it doesn’t always include marriage. Entering into a relationship or marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is not something to do just because friends say you are “past your prime.” That would neither be fair to you nor the man you are with. Only you will know when the time is right and that is how it should be. Now, for your
hopefully well-meaning’friends, next time they make such a remark, try one of these responses: When did 26 become a senior citizen? “I’ve sometimes thought of marrying and then I thought again.” —Noel Coward Marrying is easy, it’s housework that’s hard. Proverbs Thank you for your concern, however I’m not worried about it. “Marrying to increase love is like gaming to become rich; alas, you only lose what little stock you had before. ” —William Wycherley “What’s nice about my dating life is that I don’t have to leave my house. ” Julia Roberts “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.” —Jean Kerr “Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. ” —Josh Billings “If marriage is to be a success, one should obviously begin by marrying the right person. ” —Herman Keyserling God Bless you and your singleness. Answer provided by Andrews University Counseling Pyschology PhD students Kristina Johnson, Anna Liu, Brice Petgen, Nathanael Stephens, Noel Woodruff-Giudice, under the guidance of Prof. Carole Woolford-Hunt.
Spring/Summer 2010 | www.envisionmagazine.com 45