Susan Galardi
DAN'S PAPERS, May 8, 2009 Page 23 www.danshamptons.com
Tradition, Tradition Time-Honored Practices in the Hamptons Worth Revisiting By Susan Galardi Last summer, there was a fair in Sag Harbor with a climbing wall, live music and stands offering a mishmosh of engaging carnival games. But there was a clear crowd favorite among the activities: A table where you could make your very own fish print T-shirt. It went like this: You bought a white T-shirt and flattened it out on the table. Then, from a bucket of water thick and murky with paint, you pulled out a dead fish of your choosing — fluke, striper, etc. You slapped the dead fish down next to the T-shirt and painted it with colors or designs of your liking. Flop the painted side of the fish down on the T-shirt, press
firmly, lift off gingerly and, voila! A fish print Tshirt! A woman working the stand was proud as punch of the popular offering. “We’ve been doing it since the ‘80s,” she beamed. Here in the Hamptons, we love tradition. Out of the passion for it grows a dedication to preservation, keeping things the way they’ve always been, just like in the good old days. And so we maintain our traditions — the fun or quirky ones like giant clam contests, polar bear plunges and artist/writer baseball games. We bemoan lost traditions — getting fresh cinnamon doughnuts at the “real” Dreesens, rubbing elbows with artsy types at the Elaine Benson Gallery, getting dolled up for tea
dances at the Swamp, flipping properties for fun and profit. We wring our hands over centuries-old endangered traditions like farming, fishing and working the bays for a living. But from time to time, even diehard preservationists are ready to let go of a tradition, like having an open cesspool in your back yard. For practical reasons, those kinds of traditions have happily gone the way of, well, having an open cesspool in your back yard. Other historic practices, like the selling and buying of “Indians” have simply fallen out of favor. (Steven Pharoah, after whom Steven Talkhouse was named, was sold by his mother (continued on next page)
SUSAN BOYLE, BIRD STRIKES AND WOODY ALLEN By Dan Rattiner The FAA held a press conference about bird strikes the other day. The number of birds is increasing. The number of strikes is up. But the damage is down. They’ve abandoned scarecrows and hoot owls on the runways because the birds have gotten used to them. But they are finding some success scaring the birds by firing salute cannons when the birds are on the runway. The gun is fired. The birds take off. Then the plane takes off. Hopefully, they keep that straight. How can bird strikes be up but the damage down? Three theories. Birds have better reflex-
es. (Practice makes perfect.) Pilots have better reflexes. (Practice makes perfect.) There’s been a change in bird tactics. General Goose stands at the front of the crowd. Okay, this isn’t working out. Our losses are staggering. The only double hit we had resulted in a pancake landing in the Hudson and the guy is a hero. We’re going to try diplomatic negotiations. We use the runways Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. They use them Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Meantime, keep up the strikes but reduce the squadron sizes. We want the enemy to be aware we can still do this, but we don’t want
anybody hurt. Keep it up, rat a tat tat, in the background. And no heroics. The birds, by the way, call these incidents Plane Strikes. The FAA released an animated video of the strike that caused the Hudson River landing. This joins the ever-growing list of video games where you can see how many times you can land successfully in the Hudson. As for Sacramento, it’s on the Pacific Flyway. Stay away from Sacramento. * * * Susan Boyle, the homely Scottish spinster (continued on page 26)