Dan's Papers Oct. 1, 2010
Dan's Papers, the 51-year-old bible of the Hamptons, is owned by Manhattan Media, a multi-media publishing company based in New York City, the Hamptons and Miami. Dan's Papers, the first resort newspaper in America, was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner, who is the founder and current editor-in-chief. Known for its insider and irreverent style, Dan's Papers has become the universal must-read in the Hamptons. In addition to the weekly paper, loyal Dan's readers can keep up with the Hamptons scene all-year-round at DansHamptons.com.
We invite you to come discover & enjoy our new restaurant & lounge. An art show by artist Chris Brown. A charismatic team will make this your favorite destination. 75 MAIN ZACH ERDEM PRESENTS We are open year round 7 Days a week for; Lunch 10:30 to 4:30 � Dinner 4:30 to 10:30 Prix Fixe $25.95 Sun-Thurs Happy Hour Mon thru Fri 4:00 � 6:00 1/2 price drinks Thursday - Havana Night with DJ Chile 9pm - 2am $5 Margaritas & Coronas All Night Friday � Ladies Night with DJ Open bar 9:30pm - 10:30pm Saturday � DJ or Live Band Open till 4am Sunday � Karaoke Night 9pm - 2am � 1/2 Price Drinks 9pm -10pm Let us host your special event in our VIP Lounge 75 Main for Dancing in the Hamptons All Year Round Thank you for everyone that visited us this summer. See you soon! 631 283 7575 www.75main.com We organize parties and catering to make it your special moment. 75 Main Street Southampton 17th Annual Stroll to the Sea Dog Walk Microchipping T-Shirts Starbucks Coffee Dreesen's Famous Donuts Agility Course Dog Trainer Q&A Face Painting Dog/Owner Look Alike and Pooch Who Can Smooch Contests All Free! A two-mile walk to the ocean to benefit the Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons October 9, 2010 9:00am � Noon Mulford Farm 10 James Lane East Hampton Register Today! www.arfhamptons.org g Presented by (631) 537-0400 x215 ) 0 5 EAST END VETERINARY EMERGENCY AND SPECIALTY CENTER Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 5 OPEN HOUSES : Sat. Oct. 2 nd through Sun. Oct. 3 rd AMAGANSETT Come discover this traditional home built in 1914. Many original period details remain throughout this 5 bedroom/5 bath home with 1 bedroom guest cottage and pool. Excl. F#250653 | Web#H45921. AIA award winning Style modernist home built originally in 1971 designed by Henri Gueron has been lovingly restored keeping the original integrity intact. Light-filled in a private setting down a long drive off the Rd. This 3 BR home has a main floor master, a newly installed Valcucine Italian kit. with Miele appliances and a double height ceiling LR with a wall of glass doors. Central air, central vac and heated pool. Detached studio with special roof deck. Featured The Great Houses book by McGraw Hill. Excl. F#69907 | Web#H31417. Minutes from Southampton, this 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath home offers wood floors, cathedral ceilings in dining room and living room, family room with sliders off to pool, 2 fireplaces, as well as a 2 car garage all on .82 of an acre in the Hamptons! SAG HARBOR with incomparable views! Located just over the bridge from Sag Harbor Village in the community of Bay Haven. Open floor plan, elegantly designed to accentuate the open water views, has 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. Upstairs deck takes advantage of the panoramic views. Dock, mooring rights, and community tennis. Excl. F#73861 | Web#H44456. BRIDGEHAMPTON New Fleetwood Design. Gated 5 BR home on 2.8 acres with 300 ft. of oceanfront, panoramic sea views from the main floor. Chefs kit., LR, terraces. Built-in flat screens, stereo throughout, DR overlooks Mecox Bay. Excl. F#243670 | Web#H19782. @ 3 bedrooms near the village of Amagansett. A charming country style traditional furnished nicely in a farm style that is very hip. A sweet yard with an outdoor shower. Clean and light filled. A great location close to beaches, shopping and transportation. F#70289. Lush landscaping and privacy. Relax by the sparkling 18x40 pool. Bright and airy with an open floor plan on main floor leading to the deck is a true entertaining delight. A fireplace for those cozy nights. Outdoor shower and cooking area. Downstairs has a private entrance for guests. Dir: Mtk Hwy to Squiretown to the The Trail. F#73849 | Web#H44468. Nestled on a private acre with a heated pool, hot tub and ample deck space. This wonderful 2,800sf. renovated home boasts 3+ bedrooms, 2.5 baths, den, eat-in kitchen, open floor plan and walls of glass. Excl. F#249789 | Web#H19168. @ @ Close to all! This 3 bedroom, 2 bath ranch offers many features including wood floors, full basement, fireplace as well as an extra room for family or den. There is a nice yard with a deck to sit out and enjoy summer days in the Hamptons! F#67122 | Web#H47181. SOUTHAMPTON This historic house is sited on 3.5 acre parcel in Shinnecock Hills affords privacy and spectacular bay views. It also features separate guest quarters, and is nestled amongst 13 acres of a land preserve, with an easement to a private, secluded beach. F#69960 | Web#H32686. offering is breaking ground. 6,500 sq. ft. 6+BR home plus lower level on 2.85 acres well located in Bridgehampton South near town and ocean. Fabulous multi-room pool house pavilion, set just right on the property by the gracefully designed pool area and sunken tennis court. LAND only price $4,195,000. F#71626 | Web#H51053. This unique 3 bedroom, 2 bath home has a master suite, open floor plan and a renovated kitchen with breakfast bar. The spacious and bright living room features an inviting fireplace and sliders out to the pool, hot tub and outdoor shower. Excl. F#73307 | Web#H24482. MONTAUK Charming, sunny, turn-key cottage located in East Hampton Village. Formal walled garden, perennials and specimen trees. Walk to everything the village has to offer. Move-in ready. Many custom details. F#72447 | Web#H40036. Dir: Montauk Hwy to the light at the cross section of Egypt Ln. Coming from the west make a left onto Accabonac Rd. Drive under the railRd. bridge, house on left side. offers 68 residences, ranging in size from 1,200 to 6,500sf. set on 10 oceanfront acres with 1,000ft. of beachfront, concierge service, porters, beach and pool attendants, on-site housekeeping. Excl. F#67395 | Web#H20840. The One Modern to own on Butter Ln.. Single level with every amenity possible crafted by Published Designer. Double master bedrooms - four bedrooms four baths. Beautiful gunite pool/spa. Spacious living quarters with large screen televisions and satellite radio throughout. All set on rustic Butter Ln. acre with big sky views. Excl. F#64586 | Web#H10170. Waterfront cottage, privately situated on .9 acre. 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, living room with fireplace, dining area, and eat-in kitchen. Newly renovated with plans to expand. Dir: North on N.Magee St, straight onto W. Neck Rd, right on Island Creek. F#51148 | Web#H0151148. QUOGUE This elegant post modern is close to town and offers 2 ensuite masters, 2 guest rooms and 2 additional full baths. In addition to the beautiful vaulted ceilings and natural light, there is a heated gunite pool and hot tub for your enjoyment. F#73228 | Web#H45572. Three bedroom, 2 bath contemporary. Each room is a special treat for the senses, highlighted in prestigious "Hamptons Cottage & Gardens" in 2004. The shy half acre is set in a desirable neighborhood close to lovely bay beaches. New to the market and priced to sell. F#73940 | Web#H49641. Dir: Springs Fplc Rd, right on School St, right on Old Stone Hwy, right on Deep Six. Fabulous grand traditional estate boasting gated entrance, private location, grand entry hall, 3 fireplaces, master suite, 3 guest bedrooms, formal dining room and a bright, sunny eat-in kitchen nook. Pool/spa area surrounded by specimen plantings. Excl. F#60321 | Web#H060321. WAINSCOTT Renovated 4 bedroom with pool and garage on a beautiful acre. Double living room with cathedral ceiling. Large kitchen and formal dining room. Patio's surround the pool set into a sanctuary. F#71329 | Web#H32587. Dir: 114 to Wainscott Northwest Rd. to Ridge Rd. EAST HAMPTON Nestled amongst mature hedges and specimen trees of Lily Pond Ln. sits a carriage house reminiscent of years gone by; Just shy a full acre, this diamond in the rough can be renovated to your own taste or can accommodate up to a 5,100 sq. ft. primary structure, 20x40 pool, detached garage or pool house. Excl. F#72538 | Web#H48809. HAMPTON BAYS SAGAPONACK Tucked away down a Private Rd to the Most Tranquil Setting this home offers Waterviews from almost every room in the house with it's Open Floor & Airy Floor Plan. Dir: Montauk Hwy to Springville Rd by Movie Theatre turn right continue towards ocean beaches to 8 Wells Rd. Excl. F#244725 | Web#H16065. On a private, quiet street minutes to the ocean and Sag Harbor village this custom construction is all on 1 level and sits on 1.5 acres with beautiful landscaping. 4 BRs, 2.5 BAs, state-of-the-art kitchen with Thermodor stove, Sub Zero, marble countertops, cherry cabinets, wine cooler all open and overlooking the DR. Large master with double walk in closets and Jacuzzi in the master BA. The LR has high ceilings with a custom fireplace, beautiful moldings and details built by Forst and Silverbank. The grounds are private with gorgeous plantings, an irrigation system, a stone terrace and a pool surrounded by bluestone. 2-car garage and a full bsmnt. Excl. F#47411 | Web#H0147411. @ WESTHAMPTON with ROW to ocean. Traditional modern 4 bedroom, 4 bath home located on the Bay. Excl. F#69631 | Web#H47204. WESTHAMPTON BEACH 2 bedroom, 2 bath oceanfront condo on Dune Road offers the finest in luxurious living. The Yardarm offers 2 pools and 3 tennis courts, and a beautiful ocean beach. Excl. F#58733 | Web#H0158733. Fabulous Waterviews! Opportunity to Sub-divide this 4 acre rolling terrain lot with 4 br. house, across the St. from Halsey Marina in beautiful Three Mile Harbor, East Hampton. Directions. Mtk Hwy to North Main St. bear left at Three Mile Harbor Sign 1 mi. to Copeces. Excl. F#68334 | Web#H14429. Canal front location with great water views situated on .60 of an acre. This ranch-style home with breezeway and attached 1-car garage has 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, living room/dining area and water views out to the canal. If you're looking for a great canalfront. Excl. F#72276 | Web#H27863. @ �2010. An independently owned and operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. is a service mark of Prudential Insurance Company of America. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property outlines and square footage in property listings are approximate. 1284348 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 6 Deep Root Fertilizing = Summer Splendor East End Organics offers a Deep Root Fertilizing Program for trees, shrubs and plant beds. When was the last time your plants were properly fed? Now is the time to feed, don't risk your investment in your plants. Our program will keep your plants from turning brown and protect their long-term health! TABLE OF CONTENTS VOLUME XLVIIII NUMBER 28 OCTOBER 1, 2010 F E A T U R E S COLUMNS Free Estimate East End Organics is a division of East End Tick & Mosquito Control 631-287-6699 1195993 MAIN STREET OPTICS Dr. Robert Ruggiero 1317271 Exams � Contacts � Emergency Service Most Extensive Selection Including Cartier � Chrome Hearts � Oliver Peoples � Open 7 Days Year Round � 82 Main St. Southampton � 631�287�7898 15 17 17 21 21 23 23 31 35 37 38 44 16 22 33 34 47 The King by Dan Rattiner Stun by Dan Rattiner The Girl Can't Help It, So It Seems by Dan Rattiner Jury Duty by Dan Rattiner How a Gift can Ruin a Good Thing by Dan Rattiner End of an Era? by David Lion Rattiner Bogus Objections to Fed Recognition by Dan Rattiner Film Fest Features, What, Canada? by Susan Galardi Who's Here by David Lion Rattiner 88.3 FM PPB is Saved How WH Beach Saved its Theater WHB Retail Zoomed Up this Summer by T.J. Clemente South O' the Highway Green Monkeys Sheltered Islander Hampton Subway Rules for Drivers 32 36 46 20something Captain Microchip Photo Pages $ 1 in NYC NYC/Manhatt an $2.00 NORTH FORK 47 North Fork Events DINING 44 45 Simple Art of Cooking Restaurant Review: Touch of Venice 46 52 Side Dish Dining Out For the list of locations where Dan's Papers will be available for $1.00 Please go to: www.danshamptons.com/nyc LIFESTYLE 53 54 Fighting Chance Shop `til you Drop 55 56 Raving Beauty Err, A Parent A&E 48 49 Honoring the Artist Art Commentary EVENT CALENDARS 43 50 Kids Events Art Events 50 60 Movies Day by Day Music Together By the Dunes c r y e Music Classes for Newborns to Age 5 AND THE ADULTS WHO LOVE THEM! CD's, Songbook & Parent Guide with DVD Included AND MORE... 7 61 61 Luxury Liner Schedule Letters to Dan Police Blotter 56 66 Service Directory Classifieds Enroll Now-Classes in: Southampton � Westhampton Beach � Center Moriches Call for more information & registration Ina Ferrara, Center Director (631) 764-4180 www.mtbythedunes.com Register NOW For Fall Semester * 50th Anniversary Logo Design Winner * Graphic artist and musician Craig Phillip Cardone of Freeport won the "Create a Logo" contest for Dan's Papers' 50th Anniversary. Cardone incorporated original artwork by Mickey Paraskevas in his whimsical, winning design. This issue is dedicated to Peconic Public Broadcasting! 1267705 2221 Montauk Highway � P.O. Box 630 � Bridgehampton, NY, 11932 � 631-537-0500 Classified Phone 631-537-4900 � Classified Fax 631-537-1292 Dan's Papers was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America. Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 7 Upgrade to Luxury for the Cost of Coffee and a Muffin! For a little bit more you get so much more. When it comes to taking a break and time out from your hard, hectic work schedule � don't you want the best? Hampton Luxury Liner costs just a few dollars more for all the creature comforts: substantially more legroom, plush leather seating, free WIFI, galley with snacks and drinks, and personal power outlets. Aren't you worth it? Only $29.90* *One way fare with purchase of Value Pack. RELIABLE, AFFORDABLE LUXURY Visit our website or call for complete details. Reservations are required to guarantee a seat. All passengers must be at the bus stop at least 5 minutes before scheduled departure time. Departure and arrival times may vary due to unforeseen circumstances. Time schedule is subject to change and/or cancellation. Smoking is prohibited by law. Hamptons New York City � Corporate Charters Woodbury Common Premium Outlets� � Winery Tours � Atlantic City www.hamptonluxuryliner.com (631) 537-5800 1267536 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 8 1267217 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 9 1267218 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 10 1267228 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 11 Is this the right time for you to purchase or refinance? With our great rates, solid reputation and impeccable service, this is a great time to discuss your Maybe. Let us bring you home. www.ManhattanMortgage.com � Manhattan (212) 593-4343 � Brooklyn (718) 596-6425 � Croton-on-Hudson (914) 271-3540 � East Hampton (631) 324-1555 � Southampton (631) 283-6660 [ CALIFORNIA | CONNECTICUT | FLORIDA | ILLINOIS | MASSACHUSETTS | NEW JERSEY | VERMONT ] (888) 593-4343 The Manhattan Mortgage Co., Inc. NMLS #1546 REGISTERED MORTGAGE BROKER - NYS BANKING DEPARTMENT/ALL LOANS ARRANGED THROUGH 3RD PARTY LENDERS � LICENSED MORTGAGE LENDER/BROKER - CT DEPARTMENT OF BANKING � LICENSED MORTGAGE LENDER � NJ DEPARTMENT OF BANKING AND INSURANCE/ALL LOANS ARRANGED THROUGH 3RD PARTY PROVIDERS � LICENSED MORTGAGE BROKER MB 2274 � MA DEPARTMENT OF BANKING/WE ARRANGE BUT DO NOT MAKE LOANS � LICENSED MORTGAGE BROKER � VT DEPARTMENT OF BANKING � CORRESPONDENT MORTGAGE LENDER - FL DEPARTMENT OF FINANCIAL SERVICES � LICENSED MORTGAGE BROKER AS TMMC MORTGAGES UNDER CA FINANCE LENDERS LAW � RESIDENTIAL MORTGAGE LICENSEE � IL DEPARTMENT OF FINANCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL REGULATION DIVISION OF BANKING 1267539 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 12 WHAT ARE QR CODES? Download your QR code reader on your iphone, Blackberry, Droid or even on select Samsung and Nokia phones to get quick and easy access to full listings details. Your phone will scan the barcode and take you directly to the listings website. TECHNOLOGY MARKETING AND ALWAYS James Keogh, Hara Kang Justin Agnello 631-267-7335 PLEASE VISIT THE ATLANTIC GROUP ONLINE �2010. An independently owned and operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. is a service mark of Prudential Insurance Company of America. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property outlines and square footage in property listings are approximate. 1284305 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 13 Harvest at The Lenz Winery Columbus Day Weekend Sunday, October 10 1:00 - 4:00pm th Harvest Wine Dinner with Guest Chef Steven Lewis The Vine/First Street Restaurant Live Music on The Terrace with Open Daily for Tasting All Year Round 10:00am - 6:00pm Main Rd (Rte 25) in Peconic 631 734 6010 www.lenzwine.com Facebook & Twitter Saturday, October 23rd Local Chef, Local Ingredients Local Wine Hors d'oeuvres & Cuv�e plus 3 course wine dinner served on The Lenz Terrace Wine presented by Dedric Curry Halloween Yappy Hour Sunday, October 31st 10:00am - 12:00pm Trick or Treat for canines & their humans! Costume Judging at 11:00am Winemaker Eric Fry General Public: $100 Lenz Subscriber: $85 10% discount on tickets purchased by Oct 10th 1267457 1267234 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 14 President and Editor-in-Chief: Dan Rattiner firstname.lastname@example.org Publisher: Bob Edelman email@example.com Managing Editor: Susan M. Galardi firstname.lastname@example.org Sections Editor: David Lion Rattiner email@example.com Associate Editor: Stacy Dermont firstname.lastname@example.org Shopping Editor: Maria Tennariello email@example.com Display & Web Sales Executives (631) 537-0500 Catherine Ellams, Karen Fitzpatrick, Jean Lynch, Patti Kraft, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Inside Sales Manager Lori Berger firstname.lastname@example.org Inside Sales Executives (631) 537-4900 Kathy Camarata, Steve Daniel, Richard Scalera Art Director Kelly Shelley email@example.com Production Director Genevieve Salamone firstname.lastname@example.org Creative Director Lianne Alcon email@example.com Graphic Designer Gustavo A. Gomez Nadine Cruz firstname.lastname@example.org Webmaster Colin Goldberg email@example.com Business Manager Susan Weber firstname.lastname@example.org Distribution Manager Thomas Swinimer email@example.com Associate Publisher: Kathy Rae firstname.lastname@example.org Assistant to the Publisher: Ellen Dioguardi email@example.com Contributing Writers And Editors Roy Bradbrook, Alan Braveman, Patrick Christiano, TJ Clemente, Janet Flora, Sally Flynn, April Gonzales, Barry Gordin, Katy Gurley, Steve Haweeli, Ken Kindler, Judy Spencer-Klinghoffer, Amanda Kludt, Ed Koch, Kelly Krieger, Silvia Lehrer, Maria Orlando Pietromonaco, Ryan Pilla, Tiffany Razzano, Jenna Robbins, Susan Saiter, Rebeca Schiller, David Stoll, Ian Stark, Lenn Thompson, Marion Wolberg Weiss Contributing Artists And Photographers David Charney, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Stephanie Lewin, Michael Paraskevas, Ginger Propper, Tom W. Ratcliffe III, Nancy Pollera Dan's Advisory Board Theodore Kheel, Chairman, Richard Adler Ken Auletta, Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel Avery Corman, Frazer Dougherty, Dallas Ernst Audrey Flack, Billy Joel, John Roland, Mort Zuckerman MANHATTAN MEDIA Chairman of the Board: Richard Burns firstname.lastname@example.org President/CEO: Tom Allon email@example.com CFO/COO: Joanne Harras firstname.lastname@example.org Dan's Papers is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Our Town, West Side Spirit, New York Family, New York Press, City Hall, The Capitol, CityArts, Chelsea Clinton News, The Westsider and The Blackboard Awards. � 2010 Manhattan Media, LLC 79 Madison Ave, 16th Floor, New York, NY 10016 t: 212.268.8600 f: 212.268.0577 www.manhattanmedia.com 1267484 Your Real Estate Resource 631-537-4900 Dan's Papers Office Open Monday - Friday 8:30 am - 5:00 pm Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 15 The King The Making of King of the Hamptons. See it at HIFF By Dan Rattiner On a beautiful day in late May of 2008 I was down at the beach in Amagansett with my dog, sitting in a folding chair and writing a story on my laptop for this newspaper. Most people leave me alone when I am doing this, but every once in a while, much to my annoyance, someone will interrupt to engage me in conversation whether I liked it or not. This was one of those times. The man who had stopped by was a rock-star handsome fellow of about 40 with thick black hair. He introduced himself as "I've been thinking about making a documentary about someone in the Hamptons. I wondered if you would be that person?" Dennis Lynch. He was a businessman who owned a company that did video work for national news networks, he said, and he had a house out here, and he knew who I was. "I love your paper," he said. "I'm addicted to it." I stopped what I was doing. "I've been thinking about making a documentary about someone in the Hamptons," he told me. "I wondered if you would be that person? You've made a wonderful newspaper. You're a legend." How could I possibly say no to this? Well, I Dan Rattiner's second memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS TOO: Further Encounters with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Billionaires and Celebrities, is now available in hardcover wherever books are sold. The first memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS, published by Random House, is now available in paperback. suppose if I were a more private person I could say no to this. But I am not that person. "Okay," I said. Dennis Lynch and I worked on this documentary on and off for the entire summer of 2008. I took him to parties, introduced him to friends, got him entrees to things he never would have gotten himself into. He showed me bits and pieces about what he was doing. I found that he had a fine hand with a camera, that he had a wonderful sense of humor, but that he was also rough around the edges and in some ways kind of nutty and unpredictable. For example, it soon became apparent that he was going to veer off from what he originally said was the work at hand, which was me and Dan's Papers. The film would, instead, be about him and me. And then after awhile it seemed to be more about him. He was, he said, going through a big mid-life crisis. This was to be (continued on page 18) Peter M. Turino President 631-903-6115 email@example.com www.bhshamptons.com BROWN HARRIS STEVENS ESTABLISHED 1873 Real Estate Service and Excellence for 25 Years 1342485 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 16 PIANO CLEARANCE 2010 SUMMER PIANO RENTAL 100% TOWARDS PURCHASE YAMAHA, STEINWAY AND MORE Best of the Best 2010 VOTE for your favorite at WWW.DANSPAPERS.COM PianoBarn www.pianobarn.com South O' the Highway (and the North too) Call Mike 631-726-4640 We Buy, Sell, Rent, Restore, Move & Tune Since 1976 1267499 THE SOUTHAMPTON CHAMBER OF COMMERCE Presents SPORTSMAN'S "AKC PUPS SINCE 1962" C S E THE SOUTHAMPTON Yorkshires French Bulldogs Havanese Shih-Tzus Wheatens Shi-Malts Maltese Labradoodles Cavalier King Charles Outstanding Selection of AKC and Designer Puppies Golden Retrievers Labrador Retrievers Rottweilers Goldendoodles Beagles Cock-A-Poos Bostons Mini Schnauzers West Highlands FARMER'S MARKET Sundays June 6 - Oct 10 9am - 1pm In the parking lot behind the Parrish Art Museum BOARDING � TRAINING VISIT OUR 6 ACRE FACILITY AKC Champion Pedigree C n MANY PARENTS ON PREMISES Veterinarians on Staff 631-727-3550 L.I.E. Exit 69 North 1.5 miles. Manorville, New York www.sportsmanskennels.com 1276437 631-283-0402 For more information call: Reclaiming quality vintage furniture and interesting items and transforming into beautiful colorful pieces Family Owned y d & Operated Mention this Ad and n s d e % Receive 10% Discount In The Attic Too n e c Reclaimed and Repurposed = Farm Chic d d d m Open Thursday - Monday n y Franklinville Road, Laurel, NY e , , (Next to Cliff's Elbow Too!) t o s w www.intheattictoo.com 1267458 Come to our Concept Store at: Affordable programs for garden and lawn maintenance Available! 1267540 Hamptons residents Barbara Walters and Joy Behar celebrated 3,000 episodes of ABC's "The View" last week. An on-set visit from South Fork neighbor Michael J. Fox added to the festivities. * * * Water Mill's Kelly Ripa sprinted through Central Park in stilettos last week for the High Heel-a-Thon, an annual race that raises awareness for heart disease and promotes better health for women. The event aired on "Live! With Regis and Kelly." * * * East Hampton's Jerry Seinfeld is headed to Broadway next month. After directing Colin Quinn in Long Story Short at the Bleecker Street Theater last summer, Seinfeld and the show are moving to the Helen Hayes Theater. Previews begin Oct. 22; opening night is November 9. * * * Newly crowned Miss New York, Claire Buffie, will join supporters of A Thousand Moms at "A Celebration of Youth and Diversity" on October 9 in East Hampton. * * * Gwyneth Paltrow is headed to the small screen for a two-episode guest role on "Glee." The Amagansett resident will get to display her vocal talent as she plays a substitute teacher. Says show creator Ryan Murphy, "Gwyneth is a great singer. She's done it a little bit, but I really want to show it off and show everyone how great she is." * * * Hamptons resident Madonna walked a pink carpet with daughter Lourdes outside of Macy's Herald Square last week. The rare appearance promoted the launch of "Material Girl," Lourdes' new fashion line. * * * Amagansett's Alec Baldwin appears alongside Paris Hilton, Matt Damon, Lindsay Lohan and others in Teenage Paparazzo, a documentary directed by "Entourage" star Adrian Grenier. The film premiered on HBO this week. * * * Local super model Stephanie Seymour and her magnate husband, Peter Brant, are back together, canceling their divorce battle. * * * A lawsuit against East Hampton's Steven Spielberg was dropped last week. A Manhattan judge dismissed a copyright suit alleging that the story line of Disturbia, a 2007 movie produced by Spielberg, borrowed too heavily from Rear Window. * * * East Hampton resident Russell Simmons celebrated the grand opening of his new Argyleculture Men's Shop at Macy's Herald Square this week. 1267018 Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 17 Stun Suggestion and Question for Next Generation of Smart Phones By Dan Rattiner The makers of cell phones have given you three options for when people phone you. They are ringer on, silent and vibrate. You can adjust these three options in a variety of ways including combining some of them. You can get ringer and vibrate or silent and vibrate. You can't of course get ringer and silent. The cell phone might have a meltdown if it tried that. But I have always thought there ought to be a fourth option. Stun. I think stun could have a whole lot of uses. The elderly, at a low setting, could use it to remind themselves they have a certain thing to do. On a high setting, stun, as super stun, might revive them from a heart attack--if the cell phone is remembered to be left in the breast pocket when not in use. Mothers could use stun, not on themselves, but on their teenagers. You'd have to have a setting that would allow them to stun their kids by making a call to them. (Obviously it would be a setting that could not be overridden except by a mother.) Call it Remote Stun. Stun could be used in coordination with a text message. I SAID DINNER IS READY. Stuff like that. Of course, it would be against the law to stun someone when they are driving a car. People have enough to worry about when they are driving a car. Surely they wouldn't want to get stunned while driving. Perhaps Remote Stun could be set up by manufacturers to automatically de-activate when the cell phone is in a repetitive motion for a certain length of time, such as when you are driving in a car. Remote Stun would also be helpful in helping monitor prisoners on parole. I'm sure we're all familiar with the shenanigans of Lindsay Lohan. I've learned a lot reading about her and the relationship between the ankle bracelet and her level of blood alcohol which, apparently, the ankle bracelet is capable of monitoring. I foresee the day when a cell phone gives you a big stun when an alcoholic beverage is raised to your lips. I could see the day when it goes off when a piece of chocolate is raised to your lips. Stun would be a big seller if cell phones had that option, it seems to me. * * * I just read about a study, which showed that 35% of automobile accidents occur because the driver is being distracted by something. I say this (continued on page 20) THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT, SO IT SEEMS By Dan Rattiner Everybody wants to be a King or Queen of the Hamptons. They may be rich or famous enough to make the cut. Or they might just LIKE to be rich or famous enough to rub shoulders with the rich and famous, but not actually be rich and famous. Then there's a few people who act out. They're rich and famous. Not. Usually, it works out for a while, but then not after that. Sometimes after that comes prison. Bernie Madoff is clearly the big Kahuna in this department. He lived oceanfront in Montauk while jollying rich friends of his to give him their money so he could invest it and make more for them. In the end, he scammed more money from these people than the Gross Domestic Product of Bulgaria. Had he lived in Bulgaria, Bulgaria might have vanished. But he lived here. So you know how that goes. There was a Frenchman out here about 10 years ago with his chauffeur and secretary who told everybody he was a member of the Rockefeller clan and if you gave him your money he could get you the financial returns on it that only insiders could get that would pop your eyes out. His real name was Christophe Racancourt. He was finally arrested in Vancouver a year after skeedaddling out of the Hamptons, doing the same thing. He is presently in prison. He wrote a book, which was published, out about how he was innocent. It was called I, Christophe Racancourt, Orphan, Playboy and Jailbird. I, for one, bought it. It was interesting. I remember early on when I first moved here that there was this stock broker who took your money and told you he invested it but then it turned out he didn't. He had a gambling problem or a racetrack problem or something. I remember it because after he was convicted and sent to prison, he was re-convicted for using the phone in the prison to call more people and get them to give him their money so he could invest it but not invest it. Now, in Monmouth County, New Jersey, there has been an arrest of a woman who spent a lot of time being rich and famous in the Hamptons for a number of summers. She kept charging things, but then the credit card was no good because of some kind of mix-up. She would then write (continued on page 20) Dan's Papers October 1, 2010 danshamptons.com Page 18 The King (continued from page 15) about his mid-life crisis. It also turned out that, unlike what he had presented himself as at the beach, he did not consider himself a classical Hamptons person, and, in fact, not even a candidate to become a classical Hamptons person. He considered himself an outsider. He hadn't gone to college. He grew up in Nassau County as part of a blue-collar family. It was true he was running a successful business. But he was an up-island, blue collar kind of guy through and through. And one thing he hated was his commute to New York. What a rat race. It seemed to me this could be a very good documentary. A flawed individual trying to find himself within the craziness of the Hamptons. I'd show it to him. In addition to that, I was in it one way or another. He filmed at parties. He filmed for 12 hours on a lobster boat. He went up in an airplane. He filmed at the Artist-Writers Softball game. He played a round of golf with me and hoaxed me into believing he had shot a hole in one. We had a wonderful time. He also got guidance from another guy who knows a lot about the Hamptons--my son David Rattiner. He filmed him sailing out into Gardiner's Bay on his sloop, he filmed him at the Dan's Papers office in Bridgehampton where he works along with me. At David's urging, Dennis went to film Sir Ivan at his private castle in Water Mill. Dennis also did interviews with celebrities. I was his PR person for this. I'd call them up and ask if they wanted to be in a movie. And so, yes, 1267456 they said, indeed they did. He interviewed Billy Joel, Alec Baldwin, Christie Brinkley, Mercedes Reuhl, Ed Burns, Chuck Scarborough and lots and lots of others. I thought, for awhile, is this documentary just to be about celebrities in the Hamptons? I soon decided much of it was about the awe he felt in meeting celebrities in the Hamptons. It was a goal he had. But he also interviewed and put into the movie a host of locals--including a woman he met who worked at a deli and several local fishermen. Probably the most extraordinary thing he did was put an ad on Craig's List looking for some lower middle class single woman from Ohio. He found one, flew her here and gave her at his own expense a terrific weekend, watching her reactions as she made her way through the Hamptons--under his guidance--and documenting how it differed from what he thought of it. Dennis Lynch is a complicated, hilarious family man (a wife and three kids) who, if you ask him, will tell you he is kind of a wild Irishman and I think he has made quite a documentary. He calls it King of the Hamptons. Many of us remember the last documentary made about the Hamptons. It was made by Barbara Kopple, a famous documentarian who, by the time she came out here, had already been honored with two Oscars, one Emmy and the winning entry in the Sundance Film Festival. (American Dream, Harlan County USA and Wild Man Blues about Woody Allen and his new wife in Venice.) Her documentary, called simply The Hamptons, came out in 2002 and became one of the few big flop