DAN'S PAPERS, September 10, 2010 Page 11 www.danshamptons.com
Dr. Beach Banned Cooper’s Beach is Best in U.S., Main Beach in EH is Angry By Dan Rattiner At a meeting of the Main Beach staff in East Hampton last week, it was decided to ban Dr. Stephen Leatherman from the beach here. Leatherman is the scientist based in Atlanta, Georgia who travels all around every year to determine the best beach in the country. Last year, East Hampton Main Beach reached its top marks ever, coming in at #4 in his survey. But Southampton’s Cooper’s Beach, which has sometimes lagged behind East Hampton in the annual rankings, was this year selected as the #1 beach in America. The meeting took place in the locker room of the 100-year-old East Hampton Main Beach
is bigger. It is better run.” “Hear, hear,” said one of the waiters at the food concession. “The Hamptons have the greatest beaches in the world. Dr. Leatherman, year after year, acknowledges that. Huge waves. Southern exposure. Cooling breezes and great water temperatures for wonderful swims.” “And we have our magnificent pavilion,” said Agnes Gretch, one of the regular beachgoers. “Cooper’s Beach just has a box with bathrooms and changing areas. We have this wonderful facility built in the 19th century.” “So what have they got over us?” the Chief asked. “Is their staff better?” “No!” the room shouted. “Are they more courteous?” “No!” “Is the place kept cleaner?” “No!” “Then what is it?” “They are advertising drive-in movies in the parking lot every Thursday night,” Van from the Chamber said. “I read it in Dan’s Papers.” “Doesn’t count,” said the Chief. “Not on the beach.”
”We’ve got it all over Cooper’s Beach. Our beach is broader, our pavilion is bigger. It’s better run.” “Here, here,” said a waiter.
Dan Rattiner’s second memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS TOO: Further Encounters with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Billionaires and Celebrities, is now available in hardcover wherever books are sold. The first memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS, published by Random House, is now available in paperback. ON Saturday, September 11 at 11 a.m., the author will read the chapter “Alger Hiss” in front of the cemetery on Cooper’s Lane in East Hampton.
Pavilion last Saturday. In attendance were lifeguards, beach boys, parking lot attendants, bathhouse attendants, pavilion sticker sales people, food concession people and the Chief of the Recreation Department of the facility, Steve Harris, who conducted the meeting. Also present was Marina Van from the East Hampton Chamber of Commerce. All were very angry. “There is little doubt in my mind that Main Beach deserves that first place distinction,” the Chief said. “We’ve waited every year for it. And now, this.” “It’s a real slap in the face,” said Mortimer Black, a beach chair attendant. “We’ve got it all over Cooper’s Beach,” continued the chief. “Our beach is broader. Our pavilion
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