Dan’s Papers June 10, 2011 danshamptons.com Page 59
NORTH FORK by Sally Flynn
Getting in the swim of things...
I believe in learning new things all the time, and I do believe you can teach an old dog new tricks. I’ve never learned to swim properly, but I thought it might be a handy skill to have in case I ever get invited to a party on a docked yacht, fall overboard, and have to swim a few yards through jellyfish-infested waters—it could happen, you never know... “Hello kids! I’m your swim instructor Bill, and I understand we have a grown up with us here today. Everybody say hello to Ms. Flynn. Alright now, the first lesson in swimming is N ew L ocation ! to learn to float. In this case, leave your arm floaties on the edge of the pool, and Ms. Flynn, Location! Brand new, totally New renovated location, right in the Location! you’ll want to take off those water wings...you Cutchogue Village. heart ofNew Brand new, totally renovated location, right in the can’t? Oh, they’re attached, well, ah...excuse Brand new, totally renovated location, right inSoul the of Cutchogue N ew L ocation !Village. localheart cuisine prepared with Italian Serving me. heart of Cutchogue Village. new, totally renovated location, right in Soul the local cuisine prepared with Italian Serving Okay, everybody ready to get in the pool? dinner Specials Tuesday through Friday 4 -6pm EarlyBrand of Cutchogue Village. heart cuisine prepared with Italian Soul Serving local courses for $22 3 What Pete? Sure, you can all cannonball in, but dinner Specials Friday 4-6pm Early local cuisineTuesday preparedthrough with Italian Soul Serving one at a time. Get in line. That’s good. Tuesday Friday 4-6pm Hourdinner DrinkSpecials Specials Tuesday through Friday 4-6pm Happy Early forthrough $22 3 courses courses forthrough $22 available 3 bar menu now Ms. Flynn, you don’t really want to cannonball dinner plate Specials Tuesday Friday 4 -6pm Early Small for $22 through Friday 4-6pm 3 coursesTuesday Hour Drink Specials in, do you? Not to be offensive, but you are Happy open Tuesday through FridayFriday at 4pm Currently HourSmall Drink Specials Tuesday through 4-6pm Happy plate bar menu now available Hour Drink Specials Tuesday Friday 4-6pm Happy rather zaftig...the water displacement...we and atthrough 12 noon Saturday barSunday menu now available Small plate Small plate bar menu now available need to have at least three feet of water in the open Tuesday through at 4pm Currently Open Tuesday through SundayFriday at noon Memorial Day from 12 noon Open open Tuesday through Friday 4pm Currently Closed Monday open Tuesday through Friday atat4pm Currently and Sunday at 12 noon Saturday pool for the lesson. and Sunday Sunday atat12 12noon noon Saturday and Ms. Flynn, please get off the ground. It’s very TOpen o u c hMemorial o f V e n ic e Rfrom e sta12 u ranoon nt Day from 12 Open Memorial Day from 12 noon Open ain Memorial R o ad . CDay u tch ogu e,noon NY 11935 28350 M undignified for you to kick and scream like cRestaurant h o fvuen m 6 3 1 .2 9Touch off VVenice that just because I said you can’t cannonball. T8o.5 u c8h5 o1 e nTicoeuR e sta ra nice.co t Touch of Venice Restaurant 8 3 5 0 M ain R o ad . C u tch o g u e, N Y 1 1 9 3 5 2 Main Road. Cutchogue, NY 11935 28350 You’re not setting a very good example for the Main Cutchogue, NY 11935 28350 9 8 .5 8Road. 51 TTouchofvenice.com o u c h o fv en ice.co m 6 3 1 .2 631.298.5851 children. Touchofvenice.com 631.298.5851 Here, I’ll let you blow the whistle to signal each child when it’s their turn to go. No, no, no...stop trying to blow a tune on the whistle. Yes, I recognized it right away as “Stairway to Heaven.” Very well done. Now, please watch for my signal and then you blow the whistle. Alright, that went pretty well. If you’ll please let me have the whistle back, Ms. Flynn...no, I’m the instructor, I get the whistle, I just lent it to you for that one activity. North Fork Oyster Company Please don’t whimper. It’s just a whistle. Look, if you do well today, I’ll buy you a whistle serves creative cuisine featuring the from Bliss’, yes, I’ll get a red one if they have it. freshest local produce and seafood So, we’re all in the pool now, let’s practice floating. Yes, Ms. Flynn, I’m sure you can float from the waters surrounding it on the the longest. east end of Long Island. Wait a minute, you can’t do that, that’s cheating...I saw you Ms. Flynn....you cannot push the children under the water like that. Serving Lunch and Dinner Daily Alright, let’s all practice our kicking skills. Closed Monday and Tuesday Everybody hold onto the edge of the pool and show me your kicks! Reservations: 631.477.6840 or opentable.com What Pete? No, she’s not really kicking all 300 Main Street (Stirling Square), Greenport the water out of the pool, it just seems like 2303 www.northforkoystercompany.com that. Please, Ms. Flynn, I can handle this, it’s
Hey! Don’t hit me with the noodle! It’s true, you are old enough to be my...don’t throw that lawn chair! Okay, that’s it! If you can’t behave, you can’t stay! No! You don’t get the whistle! Now leave!” On the other hand, I’ve always loved just floating in an inner tube.
price-fixe menu $19.95 per person Mon-Fri 11:30 am-5:30 pm & Sat, 11:30 am-3:30 pm
EAT LIKE A KING, WITHOUT SPENDING LIKE ONE. Come in and enjoy our price-fixe menu including; choice of soup or salad, entree, dessert & coffee or tea–all for one appetizing price.
2218 Sound Ave • Baiting Hollow, NY • (631) 727- 8994 www.cooperageinn.com
3966
1841
Enjoy ... nEw SummEr mEnu... outSidE dining... Three Course Prix Fixe $35 pp - Sunday through Thursday Visit jamesportmanor.com for complete menus Lunch and Dinner Daily Closed Monday and Tuesday Reservations 631.722.0500 or opentable.com 370 Manor Lane, Jamesport
4169
THE SHELTERED ISLANDER
not nice for you to accuse Pete of being a drunk, he’s only nine. Now Pete, that’s not nice either. You shouldn’t call anyone a Walrus butt. Ms. Flynn, what are you doing with the pool noodle? You can’t whip Pete with a pool noodle! I don’t care if he started it! Please, you’re old enough to be my mother!