Dan's Papers May 4, 2012

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 5

M a n h a t t a n | B r o o k ly n | Q u e e n s | l o n g I s l a n d | t h e h a M p t o n s | t h e n o r t h F o r k | r I v e r d a l e | W e s t c h e s t e r / p u t n a M | F l o r I d a

open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 & SUn. 5/6 | 11Am-4pm 43 Old Main Road, Quogue | $1,700,000 2.2 acre waterfront lot. Build your dream house. Web# H1818. Sylvia Dorfberger 631.288.6244 x 210

open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 & SUn. 5/6 | 1-3pm 38 Bonita Road, East Quogue | $1,649,000 185 ft of open bayfront, 4 bedrooms, 3 baths. Web# H35047. Daniel Whooley 631.288.6244 x209

open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 | 1-3pm 103 & 101 Montauk Hwy, Quogue $1,500,000 | Traditional on 1.9 acres. 5 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 2.5-car garage.

Web# H0156468. Adriana Jurcev 631.723.4125

open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 & SUn. 5/6 | 12-2pm 35 Old Fish Cove Road, Southampton $975,000 | 5 bedrooms, 5.5 baths, living room with fireplace, dining room and eat-in kitchen and pool. Web# H0157736.

Diane West 631.725.0200

open HoUSe SUn. 5/6 | 1-3pm 96 Pelletreau Street, Southampton $849,000 | Recent extension, new bath, new kitchen, new windows, room for pool.

Ideal central location. Web# H12671.

Bryan Whalen 631.723.4329

open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 | 12-1:30pm 505 Wainscott Northwest Rd, Wainscott $699,000 | This well-maintained home backs to reserve and features a heated pool, Koi pond and 3 bedrooms, 2 baths.

Web# H12264. Byron Brinkmann 631.329.9400

open HoUSe SUn. 5/6 | 12-2pm Hampton Bays | $595,000 | Spacious and immaculate. Living room with fireplace, formal dining room, eat-in kitchen. Heated pool. Web# H34056. Priscilla Kallio

open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 | 12-2pm 58 Rutland Road, East Hampton $475,000 | This 3 bedroom, 2 bath Contemporary is set up perfectly as a home for all seasons. Web# H34830.

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Bryan Whalen 631.723.4329

By Appointment only Southampton Village | $2,975,000 Sited on .85 of an acre, impeccable 3-bedroom, 4.5-bath home with gourmet kitchen and heated Gunite pool.

Web# H062203. Christina Dorn 631.204.2741

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open HoUSe SAt. 5/5 & SUn. 5/6 | 12-3pm 1429 Majors Path, Southampton | $835,000 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths with pool on 1.4 acres, open kitchen and finished basement.

Web# H53835. Richard West 631.725.0200

By Appointment only Southampton | $795,000 | Atterbury Estate area 4-bedroom, 2-bath chalet close to bay beach with room for expansion and pool. Web# H48351. Michael Shaheen 631.283.9000

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Web# H19903. Robert Kohr 631.267.7375

askellIMan.coM Š 2012 Brer Affiliates Inc. an independently owned and operated broker member of Brer Affiliates Inc. Prudential, the Prudential logo and the Rock symbol are registered service marks of Prudential Financial, Inc. and its related entities, registered in many jurisdictions worldwide.

Used under license with no other affiliation with Prudential. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property information, including, but not limited to square footage, room count, number of bedrooms and the school district in property listings are deemed reliable, but should be verified by your own attorney, architect or zoning expert.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 6

East End Rare

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Elephants Etc. by Dan Rattiner

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West Hampton Dunes the Best! by Dan Rattiner

21

How to Clam by Robert Sforza

21

Baymen Endangered by Dan Rattiner

23

Advice About a Good Tan by Mr. Sniev

23

Poop Plant by Dan Rattiner

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Give Ronjo The Alley by Kate Maier

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26

Bay Street’s Season

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Who’s Here: Hon. Ralph Gazzillo by Joan Baum

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Schools React to 2% Cap by Robert Sforza

31 14 37 30 16

Hamptons Epicure South O’ the Highway Photo Page Sheltered Islander Green Monkeys

29 20something 28 Hamptons Subway 33 Classic Cars Captain Microchip 34 35 10-Minute Golf

39

North Fork Events

38

Greenport Farmers Market

Lifestyle

40

Shop ‘til You Drop

41

Dr. Mark

House & Home

42

View from the Garden

Food & Dining

44 Simple Art of Cooking 45 Sidedish

46 46

Dining Out Review: Pagano’s

A&E

46 48

Art Commentary Honoring the Artist

Event Calendars

43 49

Kids Events Art Events

49 Movies

Day by Day

And More...

52 51

Service Directory Police Blotter

7 Luxury Liner 63 Classifieds

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East Hampton

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Dog on the Roof by Dan Rattiner

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158 County Road 39 • Southampton, NY, 11968 • 631-537-0500 Classified Phone 631-537-4900 • Classified Fax 631-287-0428 Dan’s Papers was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America.

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CEO & Publisher: Bob Edelman bedelman@danspapers.com President and Editor-in-Chief: Dan Rattiner askdan@danspapers.com Digital Director Eric Feil ericf@danspapers.com Senior Editor: Stacy Dermont stacy@danspapers.com Web Editor: David Lion Rattiner david@danspapers.com Sections Editor: Kelly Laffey kelly@danspapers.com Associate Editor: Maria Tennariello shoptil@danspapers.com Display & Web Sales Executives (631) 537-0500 Catherine Ellams, Denise Bornschein, Jean Lynch, Patti Kraft, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Inside/Digital Sales Manager Lori Berger lori@danspapers.com Inside Sales Executives (631) 537-4900 Kathy Camarata, Steve Daniel, Richard Scalera Art Director Ty Wenzel artdir@danspapers.com Production Manager Genevieve Horsburgh gen@danspapers.com Graphic Design Nadine Cruz nadine@danspapers.com Flora Cannon graphics@danspapers.com Web Production Manager Chris Gardner cgardner@danspapers.com Business Manager Susan Weber sweber@danspapers.com Distribution Coordinator Dave Caldwell delivery@danspapers.com Associate Publisher: Kathy Rae kathy@danspapers.com Marketing & Event Manager: Ellen Dioguardi ellen@danspapers.com Sales Coordinator: Evy Ramunno evy@danspapers.com Marketing Coordinator: Lisa Barone Lisa@danspapers.com Contributing Writers And Editors Joan Baum , Patrick Christiano, T.J. Clemente, Sally Flynn, Bob Gelber, Barry Gordin, Katy Gurley, Steve Haweeli, Laura Klahre, Silvia Lehrer, Sharon McKee, Jeanelle Myers, Maria Orlando Pietromonaco, Susan Saiter, Marianna Scandole, Judy Spencer-Klinghoffer, Robert Sforza, Maria Tennariello, Lenn Thompson, Marion Wolberg Weiss Contributing Artists And Photographers Matthew Benham, David Charney, John Davenport, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Stephanie Lewin, Michael Paraskevas, Nancy Pollera, Ginger Propper, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Dan’s Advisory Board Richard Adler, Ken Auletta, Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel, Avery Corman, Frazer Dougherty, Dallas Ernst, Audrey Flack, Billy Joel, John Roland, Mort Zuckerman

Manhattan Media Chairman of the Board: Richard Burns rburns@manhattanmedia.com President/CEO: Tom Allon tallon@manhattanmedia.com CFO/COO: Joanne Harras jharras@manhattanmedia.com Dan’s Papers LLC., is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Our Town, West Side Spirit, New York Family, New York Press, City Hall, The Capitol, CityArts, Chelsea Clinton News, The Westsider and The Blackboard Awards.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 11

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 13

Dog on the Roof Parade of Station Wagons will go to Republican Convention

By Dan Rattiner If anybody thinks that Mitt Romney is going to be a pushover this fall, consider this. Five days before the beginning of the Republican Convention in Tampa Bay, Florida on August 27, a group of his most enthusiastic supporters will launch caravans of station wagons to Florida from the other three corners of the country—beginning at San Diego, Seattle and Bangor, Maine. They will make a single-file procession of cars the likes of which have never been seen in America.

“It’s going to be an enormous outpouring of support for our man,” said Joel Spalding of San

they strapped the dog carrier to the roof and drove the 12 hours to the lake with him on top. At one point, the dog got sick up there and defecated. The family noticed some of the poop coming down over the windshield. And so Romney pulled off the road at the next gas station, where he borrowed a hose from the mechanic and washed the dog up there along with the cage and the mess before proceeding on. Seamus was no worse for the wear. The family subsequently had a great time on vacation. And this story of the dog on the roof has been a favorite family legend.

Several committees are being set up for this operation. There will be a committee to link up people with only station wagons or dogs. Many Republican dog owners don’t have station wagons. And many Republican station wagon owners don’t have dogs. The rule will be station wagons first, then if the owners don’t have a dog, they go to the dog volunteer list. It won’t be done the other way around, with the dog owners looking for station wagons. People

Each and every station wagon will have a dog in a cage strapped to the roof of the car.

Dan Rattiner’s second memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS TOO: Further Encounters with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Billionaires and Celebrities, is available in hardcover wherever books are sold. The first memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS, published by Random House, is available in paperback. A third memoir, STILL IN THE HAMPTONS, will be published June 30.

Now On Tour

Diego. “Who says we are not fully committed to Mitt?”

Each and every station wagon in these caravans will have a dog in a cage strapped to the roof.

“The courage and determination of these dogs,” said Spalding, “will mirror the courage and determination of our party. We will prevail.

Mitt Romney will be our next President. And our dogs, wagging their tails, will survive.”

The cavalcade will be a tribute to Romney and what happened years ago with his family when he lived in Michigan. The family was going on vacation. Romney loaded up his station wagon with his wife, children and luggage, and, because there was no room for the family dog Seamus, who wanted to go,

(continued on page 32)

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 14

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South O’ the Highway

(and the North too)

Dan’s Second Annual Taste of Two Forks, taking place on July 14 at Sayre Park in Bridgehampton, is extremely happy to have world-famous French chef JeanGeorges Vongerichten host this year's event.

Plus, apparel designer Nicole Miller will serve Chef Jean-Georges as the 2012 Ambassador Vongerichten of “taste!” Head to www. danstasteoftwoforks.com for the whole scoop. * * * Amagansett’s Alec Baldwin went live on the small screen last week for a special episode of “30 Rock.” South Fork neighbor Paul McCartney joined him in a cameo appearance. * * * Alec Baldwin Katie Lee’s debut novel Groundswell will be released in paperback at the end of the month. * * * Hamptons-based radio and Katie Lee television sports personality Ann Liguori will be the keynote (continued on page 36)

Correction In our April 27 issue we wrote an article about Matt Lauer purchasing open land on which he has filed applications to build a horse farm. In the article it was stated that the property was 47.5 acres and on 7.5 of those acres he hopes also to build seven homes for sale. This is an error.

The horse farm property is 40 acres and is what he has bought, and there is a 7.5 acre parcel adjacent upon which other developers hope to build seven homes.

Lauer has no connection with the proposed housing development.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 15

Elephants Etc. Nobody is Going to Make Fun of Wild Animals in Southampton

By Dan Rattiner Southampton Town still hasn’t gotten over getting stung several years ago when some people tried to ban elephants in that town.

Of course, there are usually no elephants in town, except for one day every August when the circus comes to town, which was, of course, the point.

That day, the kids in the Hamptons excitedly take their parents to the Big Top to see the lions and tigers and elephants. Until all the trouble, the circus was on the vacant field owned by the Southampton Elks on County Road 39.

But then, five years ago the town considered banning elephants because of objections by local animal rights activists and the outrageous

antics of PETA, the creative group that finds ways to make the public feel that animals are in such pain in these circumstances we just have to do something about it. PETA members with signs picketed the circus earlier that year. They held a march. They presented petitions to the town. Finally the town said NO ELEPHANTS EVER AGAIN, except for purely educational purposes. And they passed it into law.

In these pages at that time I reminded people that 800 acres embedded inside the 295.6 square miles of Southampton Town is the Shinnecock Indian Nation, and it is highly unlikely that the Nation, essentially an Independent Country, would have a ban on elephants or any other animals. I called Trustee Lance Gumbs and

suggested the circus rent the PowWow grounds for a day. I then called the circus and told them to call the Trustees. The circus has been there on the PowWow grounds ever since and doing just fine thank you very much.

And so now Southampton Town has passed an updated code on the displaying of all exotic or wild animals in that town. It recently was brought up, besides the issue of the circus, the poignant episode last summer, where a giraffe was brought to the Hampton Classic Horse Show. It was, indeed, only there as a curiosity.

People could come over and look at it. Was the giraffe made to feel embarassed? This was the sort of thing that should be banned. Of course if (continued on page 32)

WEST HAMPTON DUNES IS BEST IN THE COUNTRY!

By Dan Rattiner You are probably aware that Cooper’s Beach in Southampton was rated the #1 beach in America in 2010 and that Main Beach in East Hampton was rated #4. There is a group that rates the top 10 beaches, in order, every year.

What you probably don’t know is that there is another group that rates beaches, but only beaches in America that have been in trouble due to some unexpected calamity but have been restored by the Army Corps of Engineers. This rating competition is to the regular competition what the Handicapped Olympics is to the regular Olympics. Only the disabled can enter.

And as far as beaches go, where there are several thousand that compete in the regular competition, only a few dozen beaches are in

the restored competition.

It turns out, here in the Hamptons, there is among our many sparkling beaches one that meets the criteria to enter the Restored Beach Competition. It is the four-mile long ocean beach in front of the Village of Westhampton Beach. It existed for several hundred thousand years as a real, God-given beach, but then for a 10-year period during the 1980s and 1990s, it was gone, the victim of a calamity. Now it’s back and being replenished periodically by the Federal government at a total cost of $80 million.

Last week, this beach finished first in the competition for the best restored beach in America, beating out 25 other restored beaches, among them the beach at Panama

City, Florida, which finished a close second.

The general public, including this writer because I am on his mailing list, was egged on to make this happen by Gary Vegliante, the esteemed Mayor of the Village of Westhampton Beach. He found out that unlike the regular beach selection process which includes test tubes, sand in laboratories and all sorts of scientific studies, this competition was by popular vote online.

“You know our beach is the best,” Vegilante wrote. “You can vote once a day. Vote often.

We’ve got to win this!” There was a link to click. There you could see all the named beaches – Isle of Palms, S.C.; Ocean City, Md.; Pacifica State Beach, Calif.; and of course the (continued on page 18)

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 16

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Beaches

(continued from page 15)

hated Panama City Beach, Fla. which, for the entire time of this competition ran neck and neck with West Hampton Dunes right down to the wire, which was April 27, where, finally, uh, West Hampton Dunes put them away.

There was much comment about the competition online where the voting was taking place.

Here are some of the things I read: “Panama Beach will harass you there if you aren’t of the majority race (White,)” somebody wrote.

“I was treated just fine there,” someone else wrote. “I just came home from that beach. I go there every day.”

The history of the Village of West Hampton Dunes, founded in 1993 and centered around

its roughly four mile long beach, has been the subject of several documentaries. Legends have grown up around it. It is arguably the only beach in America that was destroyed by the activities of Hippies in the late 1960s.

In 1969, hippies on Long Island were demonstrating by the thousands against the possibility of a nuclear power plant the Long Island Lighting Company wanted to build in Shoreham. The plant, which was scheduled to cost $800 million, was beginning its construction. There were soon stories about malfunctions, bad concrete, the possibility of a meltdown when it opened. In the end, Shoreham never happened. The hippies and much of the regular population on the island were victorious after the cost of construction

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passed $6 billion.

A second and lesser known series of demonstrations was also being held against the construction of a proposed 21 stone jetty field that were to be built every quarter of a mile on the ocean beach from the Moriches Inlet going east and ending in Quogue. The construction approved had come about because of the devastating March 1962 Ash Wednesday Storm.

A common sight at that time was of flatbed trucks bringing in enormous boulders from Maine crossing the bridges to Dune Road. But there was talk of the damage being done to the beaches rather than the saving of them.

Astonishingly, Suffolk County, which was paying for 9% of this construction (the state way paying 21% and the federal government was paying for 70%), voted to put a stop to it in the middle of it being put in. No one had quite expected that. But what a victory it was for the environment, for the naturalists, the beaches and those gutsy enough to join the marches to end it.

At the point of the stoppage, a little more than half of the jetties were already in place. There was no talk of taking them out. They are there today. And if Herman Bishop Construction had put them in beginning at the Moriches Inlet and headed east with them for every quarter of a mile, none of the subsequent catastrophe that befell Dune Road would ever have happened.

Herman Bishop Construction however, had put the jetties in from east to west. Because this was half the job, they placed the first jetty in what was supposed to be about in the middle of the jetty field when it was finished. This jetty is in front of Westhampton Beach. Then Bishop built the ones that followed to the west.

The disaster came slowly, but could not be stopped. Beginning about 1970, people noticed that just to the west of the most westerly jetty, the sand was beginning to thin and the waves of the ocean were able to crash much closer to the small oceanfront houses that had been built there.

Soon it was determined by scientists what was happening. The drifting of sand along the ocean shore goes from east to west. The 15 jetties to the east of this community were like the teeth of a comb. As the sand came along with the waves, it got caught up in the jetties.

This sand, as it was supposed to, was creating millions of pounds of new beach adjacent to the jetties to protect the shoreline. But this was sand that, without the jetties, would have replenished the beaches going out to the west toward the inlet. Since there was now none coming, the beaches were vanishing in front of these houses beginning immediately at the last jetty built.

As the years went by, the ocean came closer and closer until the waves were now under some of the 260 oceanfront homes built along that stretch between Westhampton Beach and the Moriches Inlet. Soon people were beginning to abandon their homes and soon after that, some of them began falling into the sea from the pounding they were taking by the waves. Ultimately nearly 190 homes were washed out. The people who owned them lost everything. They even lost the ground they were sitting on. By 1992, the sea, for lack of a sand barrier to keep it at bay, had washed (continued on page 20)

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 20

Beaches

(continued from page 18)

right through to Moriches Bay. At its worst, this inlet was nearly half a mile wide and all the land was now underwater with the houses gone, and also Dune Road itself, the telephone poles, the sewer lines the telephone lines, the electric lines and everything else. It was a new and very horrendous inlet, with the ocean now threatening the last mile of homes, now isolated on an island that ended, to the west at the Moriches Inlet. These homes also had been abandoned. Without the road, there was no government able to get out there, no police, no ambulances no nothing. Who was getting out there, by boat, and mostly at night, were the vandals. Soon, the 200 homes there were stripped of valuables. Also stripped and mostly demolished was a well known and beloved nightspot on the ocean there called Morgan’s White Cap. This story just sounds impossible, doesn’t it? An entire community of summer homes, suffering this sort of catastrophe in the Hamptons. But it happened.

Of course, the lawyers had a field day, at least at first. Representing the homeowners whose homes were swept away, the each filed lawsuits against every entity they could think of that had caused this catastrophe. That would include the County of Suffolk, the State of New York, the Federal Government, Herm Bishop Construction and the Town of Southampton.

The Village of Westhampton Beach was not sued. The damage done began just to the west of the village line on Dune Road. That portion of Dune Road out to the end was prior to that time under the jurisdiction of Southampton Town.

Within a year, there had been so many lawsuits filed by these poor homeowners, that it was estimated it might take ten years just to untangle them. And legal guesses were that these lawsuits would be going nowhere. At that time, you could buy an underwater, oceanfront former building lot from one of these former homeowners for $5,000.

In 1993, some of the former residents of this now inundated catastrophe got together on dry land to try to think of a new way of tackling this problem. You could ask Mayor Vegliante who the others were, but he was one of them.

At the time, he was just the owner of a couple of restaurants in the Bay Shore area who had one of these summer homes there on Dune Road he visited.

As it happened, Vegliante’s home was one of the few that was untouched by the disaster. It stood facing the bay, not the ocean, and it was just adjacent to the last jetty. It was possible to go there, sit out on the deck and look out at everything wiped out to the west.

The idea that created the miracle came from that meeting on Vegliante’s deck. The idea was—what happens if we form an Incorporated Village? There had not been one before. There had been about 230 homes on that peninsula, but now there were maybe five, Vegliante and a few others. That was it.

It was one thing for individuals to petition the federal government about the sea swallowing up your home, a lawyer at this meeting said.

It was another entirely if a whole village was wiped out.

The plan was, and this plan succeeded, to create a legal entity on this catastrophe called

the Village of West Hampton Dunes, find all the residents up-island who owned the underwater land, have them vote such a village into existence, and then petition the Federal Government. They could write this on official village stationery.

Dear Mr. President: Help! Our village has been wiped out by a natural disaster. We need to be called a disaster area. We need to have our peninsula restored. We need to have our land bolstered up against the sea. Then we can rebuild.

And so the letter went out. Do you think they made this happen? Does a bear pee in the woods? The Federal Government swung into action. There was no FEMA then, but whatever there was it was mobilized and sent in to survey the damage. The feds would prop things up, treat those who were injured and then fix this poor destroyed village. We can’t allow an American village to go down like this!! How old was this village did you say?

Today, the Incorporated Village of West Hampton Dunes is wall to wall million dollar summer homes. They sit behind a dune.

The Army Corps also came in with steel sheeting and essentially created a 60-foot deep underpinning so that the island will never come completely apart again. I visited these waters when the Army Corps of Engineers was building this. The bulkheads were being pounded into the sea, giant corrugated steel panels of the sort you might see creating a dryblock inside of which you would repair destroyers or battleships.

Thus did the government re-create everything (continued on page 22)

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How to Clam

In the Hamptons, There’s More Clam Paperwork than Clams

By Robert Sforza The South Fork is famous for its vistas and golden beaches, but it is also well known for its cornucopia of shellfish.

“Shellfish” refers to anything from oysters, escallops, hard clams, soft clams, razor clams, surf clams, periwinkles, conchs, crabs, shrimp, all types of mussels, and slipper shells. But you cannot just head down to the old creek or to the bay and scoop them up in Southampton and East Hampton Town without a proper permit.

In Southampton it doesn’t matter if you’re a permanent resident, a summer resident, or just visiting for a few days, you can—and must— apply for a permit. If you’re a permanent

resident all you need to do is go down to town hall to the office of the Southampton Trustees and fill out an application, or print one out online from the town’s website by clicking on the “Elected Officials” tab, and selecting the “Office of the Town Trustees” tag. Once complete, all that is needed is proof of residency or taxpayer status, which can be provided by showing a valid New York State driver’s license with an address within the town’s jurisdiction.

If you’re not a town resident, you must apply for a nonresident permit. The nonresident permit offers three choices to select from with the according payment information: $10 up to 15 days, $20 up to 30 days, or $40 up to 60

days.

The only exception in which a shellfish or crab may be taken without obtaining a permit is by one guest of a Residential Permittee, if accompanied by such permittee. This exception is nontransferable for commercial purposes.

(Like if you’re planning to start a crab house with one crab—or one crab gathered with every one of your friends.) I suppose, you could go down to the beach with two friends and pass your permit back and forth as your friends crab one at a time.

You have to be a town resident in the Town of East Hampton to clam or crab, no exceptions. (continued on next page)

BAYMEN TO BE LISTED AS ENDANGERED SPECIES?

By Dan Rattiner The baymen of East Hampton were among the earliest English settlers who came here in the 1640s. As a tight knit clan of locals from Kent, they came to be called Bonackers, and they settled for the most part living and working in Three Mile Harbor, Gardiner’s Bay and Accabonac Harbor in East Hampton.

By 1960, there were more than 1,000 of them. They had their own English dialect, their own stores and local bars and they went clamming, eeling, musseling and fishing in these waters as a commercial business. For ocean fishing, they would drive pickup trucks down to the beach and cast great nets into the sea, scooping up what they could in a process called haul seining.

The Bonackers are definitely part of the

heritage of these parts. But in recent years, their numbers have dwindled, largely due to increased rules and regulations. Many have moved. About 200 Bonackers remain.

I think the last straw for the Bonackers occurred about 15 years ago when the General Electric Company, which had put chemicals in the water killing striped bass, paid each baymen they could find in these parts between $5,000 and $35,000 in cash to compensate them for what they had done. It was a great victory, but it was followed three years later when the Feds came down to demand that the Bonackers pay income taxes as a result of this years-ago gift—nobody had told them it would be taxable—that were now overdue and there would be penalties and interest galore, maybe even jail sentences for scofflaws, if they

continued to be negligent. The matter went to court. Were those gifts “punitive damages” and therefore exempt from taxation, as they had been told? Or was the money “compensation for lost wages.” If that were the case, these gifts were taxable. The IRS won.

This past week, an attorney for the Bonackers, Daniel Rodgers, filed a request with the Preservation League of New York State, asking that the state add “baymen” to its list of historic and cultural resources in need of protection.

It’s a bold request. At the present time, certain animals and fish are on lists needing to be protected. One of them is the piping plover.

The law says you have to stay far away from (continued on next page)

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 22

Clams

(continued from previous page)

“We do not have shellfish fishing for nonresidents,� informs a spokeswoman in the East Hampton Town Clerk’s office, “it’s strictly for residents only.�

If you’re a town resident in East Hampton Town, the process is almost identical to Southampton’s procedure: fill out an application down at the Town Clerk’s office or print out the application online, under the “Town Clerk� tab and promptly return to the Town Clerk’s office for final approval.

However, these permits are for recreational endeavors only.

In Southampton, in order to catch shellfish for commercial purpose—the taking of shellfish

Baymen

for any use or purpose other than for food consumption by the person taking or by such person’s immediate family or household—must buy a Commercial Permit from the Board of Trustees.

This is a completely different procedure with its own set of rules and regulations.

Shell fishing has long been a popular hobby among South Forkers as well as all Long Islanders.

Marc Giglio, a fairly new resident to Heady Creek in Southampton, says, “I love clamming.

I mean, I’m new to the South Fork and all, but not new to Long Island clamming.�

Giglio recalls spending warm, sun-soaked

Beaches

(continued from previous page)

piping plover nests on the beaches where they build these nests. To that end, piping plover nests are surrounded by fencing with KEEP OUT signs so everyone has to stay away.

There is a precedent established for this request by the Bonackers to the State Preservation League. A month ago, baymen in the Chesapeake Bay filed a request to a group called Preservation Maryland that Chesapeake Bay “watermen� be considered for their list of things going extinct that need to be saved. (In Maryland, the baymen are called watermen.)

Same thing. Preservation Maryland now has the watermen on the Endangered Maryland List for 2012.

I look forward to the day when the local Bonackers can get the same courtesy as the

summers out in his parent’s summer home in Mastic Beach. “I love to fish, and I love to shell fish,� he adds.

This unnaturally warm spring has been an aberration from chilly past Aprils and should make for a remarkable crabbing season.

The best time to go crabbing is on high tide. Crabbing on hot, sunny August days is better than colder June days. Shallow water is ideal for crabbing, especially if you’re doing it the old fashioned way—with a piece of chicken and a string. Just be sure that—if the crabbing police show up with guns drawn—you’ve got that permit handy.

piping plovers. For each of the last six years, piping plovers have set up a damn nest on East Hampton Main Beach resulting in the local fire department cancelling or postponing the annual Fourth of July fireworks that have been held on that beach every year since 1915.

The cancellations took place because it was thought all the banging of the fireworks would hurt their delicate little ears and cause them to fly away. I have little doubt plovers will cancel this year’s fireworks too.

Some day, it is my fervent hope that when the few remaining Bonackers drive down to the beach in their pickup trucks with their boats in the back, all the people who are sunbathing down there have to get up and move out to make way for them. And their black labs.

(continued from page 20)

that got destroyed, and made formerly middle class people with little homes on the beach into formidable millionaires with oceanfront homes on their property.

These homes are also guaranteed never to fall into the sea again. The promise of the Army Corps of Engineers is that every couple of years, for a total of 30 years until 2027 they would be back with millions of tons of sand for this four-mile stretch to replace any that got washed away during the interval.

It’s a compliment from the Village to the Army Corps of Engineers for the Village to win the First Prize in the restored beach competition. There are other restored beaches around the country. Twenty-four of them. But ours is the best.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 23

MR. SNIEV’S ADVICE ABOUT A GOOD TAN

By Mr. Sneiv Let me start by giving full disclosure that besides contributing to Dan’s Papers I am also a professional lobbyist for the tanning bed industry. I am not an elite lobbyist and thus I only get a paltry $30,000 per month for my efforts. I do it because the lobbying industry is an important part of our national fabric. In fact, if we eliminated all the lobbyists, there would be a recession that would mirror the recession we are currently in. Also, I really need the money. My last lobbying assignment was in Anchorage, Alaska and it did not go so well so I am on the hot seat.

When my employer found out that I was in the Hamptons, and that I also had an association with the number one source of information in the Hamptons, they asked me to use the platform to lobby you, the faithful readers. It seems the tanning bed industry has been trying unsuccessfully to break into business in the Hamptons for years. So please forgive me but I gotta make a living, so get off my case.

Tanning beds and tanning in general have gotten a bum rap. Going all the way back to the indigenous peoples, sporting a tan has been fashionable. Those female Native Americans that were of a darker color were twice as likely to get picked to be a bride than those who were light-skinned. This, I believe was told by our national spokesman, George Hamilton, who is also known to sport a tan.

Tanning beds are a great source of vitamins

Breaking News

A, B, C, D, F, H, I, J, K, P, Q, Y and Z. And you can never get enough of those vitamins. Most people don’t realize it but Vitamin P is the one that controls the male libido. So indirectly, men can increase their sex drives by getting a tan. This was proven by a survey taken at last year’s Montauk’s Tiny Bikini Contest. It was a sunny day and after absorbing vast amounts of vitamin P, 99% of the men surveyed said they were aroused. So long Viagra and hello tanning bed!

There are other benefits to having a tan as well. For ladies living in the Hamptons, it is common etiquette never to wear white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. However, with a fashionable tan, you can extend that period by two weeks in either direction.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I did not let you know that having a tan increases your life expectancy by more than six years. This is in part due to the fact that doctors are known to give better treatment to tanned persons vs. non-tanned persons. I can’t explain it but it’s in our lobbying literature so it must be true. So there you go. I have done my part in promoting the agenda of the tanning bed industry and I will gladly cash my check this month. I expect that tanning beds will now be popping up all over the East End this summer.

Now I think I will head out to the beach, slather on a little suntan lotion and get a natural tan. You didn’t think I was going to pay for a tan when I can get one for free did you?

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Poop plant East Hampton Town is spending months and months trying to decide what should be done about the waste recycling plant on SpringsFireplace Road. Should it be a transfer station?

Should the Town hire someone to run it as a transfer station? Should the Town run the place as a treatment plant itself as it once did.

Should the Town lease the plant to some other company to run it as it also once did? Should the Town sell the treatment plant? Should the Town tear down the treatment plant?

A lot of hot air is being spent weighing this and that about this problem. Meanwhile the cesspool dump trucks come and go. I have an idea that could shorten the time spent going around and around about making this decision. Require all involved, Republicans, Democrats, Board Members, outside companies, environmentalists, recyclers, financial advisors, Town employees, police, merchants, our Town Supervisor and all other interested parties—all of these people—be required as a rule from now on to refer to this facility as the Poop Plant.

Should the Poop Plant be sold? Recycled?

A transfer station? Should the Poop Plant be leased out? Should the Poop Plant be torn down, run by the Town employees, should the Poop Plant be blah blah blah blah?

I believe that if Town Supervisor Bill Wilkinson requires all references to this facility be spoken aloud as “Poop Plant,” a decision will be made about it in the time it might take for the average person to go to the bathroom. —DR

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 24

GIVE THE RONJO PEOPLE THE DAMN ALLEY!

By Kate Maier This whole Ronjo nonsense is really giving me a headache. Every time it pops up in the news, you’d think something big and important and insane was going on, and it really just boils down to yet another time-wasting political battle over a sum of money that’s not but a drop in the bucket. Let’s recap.

Chris Jones and Lawrence Siedlick snap up a tired and rundown motel in downtown Montauk that’s just a half cut above a rooming house. As one Tripadvisor reviewer opined, “It is a bare bones, somewhat smelly motel that hasn’t been updated since the Carter Administration.”

A local real estate firm enjoys a tidy commission on the $4 million sale, and Jones and Siedlick, who have already revamped two tired properties in Montauk while somehow integrating themselves with our belovedly cranky locals, set forth on a full-scale renovation of this one.

Nary a bed bug shall survive. The tiki statue that we have formed such a perverse attachment to will remain. The tackiness we hold so dear to our hearts is tackier than ever, thanks be to the golden god.

Then Town Supervisor William Wilkinson goes ahead and does something stupid, or insensitive, or out of touch, as politicians are

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so prone to do. Confronted with the fact that the motel, as originally built in the 1950s, completely ignored and was constructed over a town-owned alleyway that is on the property (it exists in the plans for the grid of the town made in 1926), he “pulls a number out of the air,” Wilkinson does, $35,000, and offers to sell the new owners this alleyway to make things all on the up and up without causing a fuss.

Full on warfare ensues. The chief of the Montauketts is risen from the dead and sets after the bumbling politician with a mob of angry Democrats, waving flaming spears and demanding a higher price on the sale. They want a full-blown appraisal. It should be more than $35,000. But what precedent is there to determine the value of such a nonexistent alleyway? Zip. This goes back and forth for months and some of us fall asleep because it’s so incredibly boring. Then there’s some nonsense about a basement, but it’s been resolved.

Do we really care if the town makes an extra $35,000 or so off the insanely wealthy hoteliers who have the nerve to try to give the Ronjo a full scale renovation? Not at all. It’s based on principle of course.

Somewhere in the midst of this, The New York Post picks up the story. The whole thing has gone viral and once again, our backwards ways and inefficient political processes are a subject of amusement for all.

The crux of this issue, of course, is the underlying fear that this, or any other recently acquired property around here, IS GOING TO TURN INTO ANOTHER SURF LODGE. The Surf Lodge. The Real Deal reports that it’s now been sold to a technology entrepreneur along with Lenny’s restaurant, but it will live on in our hearts and minds. Ye Olde Surf Lodge had a marketing team brilliant enough to land the Travel Channel listing of “21 Sexiest Beach Bars” on the planet, never mind that it sits fronting a fresh water pond. The hipsters who turn their noses up at our laws, who have a smart answer for everything, who blatantly continued to sell junk food in their parking lot, despite our cries of protest, who rack up over 700 code violations, well, there you are.

More importantly, these are the sorts of people—perhaps—whose ancestors introduced fedoraitus to the Montauk Indians. This is the plague that is believed to have wiped out the Montaukett tribe.

That tidal wave of change, including the dreaded fedoraitus, crashed on Montauk long ago. But now, all over the place, people of all sorts are attempting to transform tired old Montauk properties into the sort of places that our new friends from Brooklyn might like. And it sucks, quite frankly, because our way of life is changing fast, and I for one do not want to be consumed by fedoraitus.

But letting the dudes at Ronjo straighten out this alleyway error and make a huge renovation to the place is not going to change any of that.

And arguing about it is just making us all look stupid. Give these guys a break.

Summer is almost here, and I would like to see the Ronjo, excuse me, The Montauk Beach House (ugh) open. Something tells me this season will be a wild ride—and we’d all better hold on because like it or not, it’s about to start.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 25

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 26

TRIUMPHANT BAY ST. ANNOUNCES SHOWS Celebrating its 21st season, Bay Street Theatre in Sag Harbor has announced its 2012 Mainstage productions, and the season has an impressive lineup of talent.

From the humorous and poignant look into the life of a divorcée, to the changing lives of the baymen on the East End of Long Island, to the world premiere of a brand new musical, the performances promise to delight every theater-goer.

The first production will be the American premiere of My Brilliant Divorce, which will grace the Mainstage from May 29 to

June 24. The play was written

by Geraldine Aron, and it will be directed by Matt McGrath, one of Bay Street’s Artistic Associates.

The one-woman show tells the story of American ex-pat Angela whose irritatingly round-headed British husband leaves. She’s left to cope with a disapproving mother, a shifty attorney and a bad case of hypochondria. Poignant, insightful—and very, very funny.

A real treat from across the pond!

Previews May 29-31 sponsored by Peconic Landing.

The 20-year revival of Men’s

August 7 – September 2

Sinks and Faucets

Lives, which will show from July 3-29, was written by Joe Pintauro. It’s based on the book by Peter Matthiessen. Harris Yulin will direct.

As Sir Walter Scott once said, “It’s not fish ye’re buying, it’s men’s lives.” This play was the inaugural production presented at Bay Street Theatre in 1992. Now it is May 19 – June 24 being given a muchanticipated revival.

“We thought this year was a great time to revive this wonderful play,” says Murphy Davis the Artistic Director. “Not only does it have a timeless message about change and the human condition, it is as pertinent today as it was 20 years ago and still means as much to people who live and visit here.”

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Sag Harbor playwright Joe Pintauro emphasizes, “War was declared on the beaches of the East End when local baymen were forced to launch a courageous fight against the crushing effect of history and economics on their lives in the Hamptons.”

The world premiere of the new musical Big Maybelle: Soul of the Blues will show from Aug. 7 to Sept. 2. It was written and directed

by Paul Levine, and it features the sensational Tony-award winning Lillias White as the legendary blues singer Maybelle Smith. A big woman with even bigger talent, she took on all the challenges 1950s America had to give.

White will blow the roof off Bay Street Theatre as she brings Big Maybelle to incandescent life.

Be prepared to be knocked out of your seat!

Previews August 7-10 are sponsored by PCH Builders and Property Management.

The 2012 Mainstage Season program is partially funded by the Suffolk County Executive’s Office. Mainstage Season threeplay subscriptions are available online at www. baystreet.org or by calling the box office at 631-725-9500. Single tickets may be purchased online and at the box office beginning May 16.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 27

Who’s Here

By Joan Baum “That badge isn’t real, and the 37th precinct doesn’t exist.” Ralph Gazzillo is tapping the cover of his intriguing debut novel, The Dark Shield (iUniverse). And he’s about to tap into one of the reasons why he thinks his absorbing police procedural resonates with authenticity. He knows—he really knows—what he’s writing about.

Before The Hon. Ralph T. Gazzillo became county court judge in Suffolk County, presiding over criminal and now civil cases, he was an assistant district attorney and a defense lawyer, and before that, a working cop in Brooklyn. Research?

“Not necessary,” he’s “been around” police for years and the courts for as many, prosecuting, defending, ruling from the bench, all of which have given him a savvy and unique take on crime and the law. “You can tell an ex-cop wrote this,” someone told him. He’s not sure if it was a compliment or a criticism, but he’s being coy.

“Every lawyer or cop who writes a book says ‘no one’s going to believe this.’” Gazzillo, however, drew not on the kind of eccentric or unbelievable circumstances that turn up on TV shows but on actual and everyday police and courtroom behavior, right down to the inane bureaucracy that can often drive experienced lawyers and investigators nuts, or, as one of his central characters remarks of someone else in his division, “the incompetent telling the uninterested the unnecessary.”

Many medical shows don’t always get it right, either, he notes—his doctor friends don’t watch them.

“What does the public know! It’s theatre,” he says of many shows.

In actuality, much detective work, as his characters demonstrate, has to do with “tenaciousness.” Blind alleys are common, as is reliance on “squeals” and knowing people who maybe shouldn’t, but do quietly assist, who deal in what The Dark Shield calls a “bag of tricks, unspeakable covert operations.”

Indeed, more than a couple of myths are implicitly exploded in The Dark Shield, including the kinds of questions permitted of lawyers in the courtroom or the frequency and nature of forensic science in police work. He pauses, then makes a poignant observation: science and technology have done so much to improve our way of life, but have done nothing about our being such a violent society. He recalls how he once saw someone killed over a bottle of beer. “It’s a tough job, being a cop.”

You have to have your wits about you and not do split-second shooting. There’s also the politics of the system, as The Dark Shield

not the good but flawed and hot tempered cop, Joe McKeefe or his likable, prankster partner Mike, but the feared, sarcastic hardliner judge, The Hon. Manuel Lopez Ramos— “That son of a bitch wouldn’t dismiss a case if God, the Supreme Court of the United States, and his own mother told him to.” About three chapters in, however, Gazzillo saw that “books about judges are boring” because judges are reactive, not proactive. But he also had become, over the years, savvy about plot.

Ramos, who opens the book, drops out, but is brought back toward the end and surprises (convincingly) with a deepened characterization that shows his humanity alongside his bullying courtroom manner. Of course, Gazzillo points out, a decade ago women were not active as they are now, in both law enforcement and in court. And Joe really should have a cellphone instead of running to public phones.

The first member of his family to go to college, Ralph Gazzillo was not at first particularly interested in higher education. He wanted to be a cop. But he did go to the John Jay College of Criminal Justice (CUNY) and got an Associate Arts degree.

He then won a scholarship to Pace University though his thoughts were on accounting, not law—“I loved doing taxes.” A friend, however, suggested he take the LSAT, and he did, doing well enough to qualify for admission to New York University School of Law, after which he was admitted to the Bar in the New York State Appellate Division, Second Department in 1982. For a few years, he worked in a small firm on Staten Island, doing mostly matrimonial cases, but landed a job in the Rackets-Narcotics Division of the Suffolk County D.A’s office. The junkie life and lingo that permeate The Dark Shield obviously reflect this experience.

Gazzillo’s diverse career shows in this insider look at the criminal justice system.

It’s been said that a first novel tends to be autobiographical and in this regard it’s true.

Unlike many spastically edited crime shows on TV, The Dark Shield immediately manifests its bona fides in both dialogue and action that contribute to its sustaining interest. But factor in steamy sex scenes (“every novel’s gotta have ‘em,” a friend once told him). Gazzillo’s daughter, a teacher in Poughkeepsie, read the book and was kind of quiet about it afterward, and his cousin’s wife read it and told him, “I can never look you in the eye again.”

On the other hand, he asks with a trace of irony or surprise, “Women readers like those sections, why is that?” We won’t go there.

Judge Ralph Gazzillo Author

Gazzillo’s diverse career shows in (his) insider look at the criminal justice system. shows, a hierarchal culture where getting to work on the Major Case Squad, covering sensational or extreme cases, is considered the “premier job.” His good guys are not even close, at least not until the end. Incidentally, only one of the characters in The Dark Shield is based on someone he knew, says Gazzillo— the waitress, Lorraine (his first love when he was 19), but, with one exception, they all ring true. The woman Joe obsesses over, the sex and money crazed Carolyn, could be said to resemble John Edwards’ mistress. The villain Vincent Martin, however, is totally fictitious, an extreme example of evil.

Writing The Dark Shield did not come easy for him, Gazzillo says. He started the book 10 years ago when his main protagonist was

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 28

HAMPTON BAYS

By Dan Rattiner Week of May 2 – 8, 2012 Riders this week:12,912 Rider miles this week:103,443 DOWN IN THE TUBE Jeremy Lin was seen on the Hampton Subway talking animatedly with Jason Kidd, the former point guard for the New Jersey Nets, about the trouble Lin’s team is having competing with the Miami Heat while he sits

on the bench recovering from surgery. Lin seemed frustrated. Kidd, who has a house in the Hamptons, had a sort of been there done that attitude, and he wasn’t rubbing in the fact that the team he now plays for, the Mavericks, beat Miami last year.

PART FOUND ON THE TRACKS Service on the system was delayed for two hours on Tuesday evening when a large metal part of a subway car was found on the tracks between Water Mill and Southampton. The

WHO IS THE BEST WRITER OF NONFICTION ON THE EAST END?

part was removed from the tracks after which the service resumed, and the part was then taken by car to the subway yards in Montauk where, when the system shut for maintenance at 2 a.m. and the cars were brought in, workmen tried to find out which car it came off of. It would have to be reattached, of course.

The part, which seemed to be some sort of cowl or cover, weighed about 40 pounds, but with all the workmen there on the case in Montauk, no one was able to find a place where such a part was missing or even where a part similar to this one was located on any of our other subway cars. Indeed, no part seemed to be missing from any subway cars. This is a big mystery.

MOTORMAN ED FENARIO IS 42 A birthday party was held for motorman Ed Fenario on Wednesday in the company cafeteria. Present among the many guests were Ed’s wife Hatty, who works as a receptionist, and also each of his other four ex-wives, all of whom still work at Hampton Subway. (Ed met and courted them all there.) The five wives, Hatty, Willette, Edna, Margaritta and Vanity, linked arms to sing him “Happy Birthday.”

AD MOVED A poster ad for the Rice and Cheese Restaurant in Westhampton Beach, mounted on the wall of the Hampton Bays platform, was moved down to an empty ad frame on the wall in the tunnel between Hampton Bays and Quogue. The ad frame was there from two years ago when a prior marketing director sold ads along the tunnel wall. (A stupid idea if you think about it, since the trains are whizzing past.) Our Commissioner is having a disagreement with the owner of Rice and Cheese, and had our new marketing director Carl Besmith move it out of the way. We’re not allowed to mention the owner of Rice and Cheese, but we all know who he is and what he did, and we do have to report he has threatened to sue Hampton Subway.

Commissioner Aspinall says none of us should eat there.

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Entries must be nonfiction and between 600 - 1500 words. You may send in memoirs, biography, autobiography, account of a day, opinion, history, profile of a person or institution, essay or humor. Works must reference eastern Long Island in a meaningful way.

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FAKE PANHANDLERS? One does expect a panhandler, moving through the subway cars, to be authentic, doesn’t one? Yesterday, it was revealed that one of the panhandlers, a man pushing a grocery cart, when arrested, turned out to be a spy for the CIA. Or so he said. Then, after presenting his papers, he was found to check out. His mission? Confidential. Sorry.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE I don’t understand how we could find a 40-pound metal part from a subway car on our tracks, have it brought out to the experts in Montauk, and then be told it is not from any of our subway trains. This is outrageous. Are they kidding me?

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 29

TWENTY SOMETHING

by David Lion Rattiner

On Post-College Debt It’s been about seven years since I graduated Northeastern Business School in Boston, and if there is one thing that I’ve learned since then, it is the fact that college is a huge burden on an entire generation of kids and families.

I’ve been expressing my dissatisfaction with the cost of university ever since I was enrolled in college. I simply didn’t understand the point of it when I first got into college and spent my freshman year in a dorm room, going to class two hours out of the day, and spending the rest of the day wondering what the hell everybody else was getting out of the experience.

One of the main reasons I went to Northeastern was because I was attracted to the idea of working while in school, a concept that was relatively unknown at the time that I went, but has since transformed Northeastern into one of the top colleges in the country.

I know person after person after person who is completely financially burdened by attending school, and it is a burden that is going to stick with them, largely, for most of their lives.

I’ve been fortunate enough to not have to deal with any student loans throughout my life, but my perspective on large loans and debt is that debt is something that is extremely, extremely dangerous.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, debt is slavery. The entire purpose of debt when it was first invented was to enslave populations into doing work they wouldn’t normally do without being controlled through force. Debt avoidance is one of my most important life philosophies.

I’d rather live in a sleeping bag on the side of the road than go into financial debt, because I’d rather be free in life more than anything else, a concept that the founding fathers of America all understood, and something that too many of us today are forgetting. Debt, even when I was a kid, has always made me cringe whenever I became involved with it.

But here we are, now all of a sudden, discussing on a national scale the cost of college and how it is putting a huge burden on students. Why is this suddenly shocking to people and how could you not have known? If you go to college to study an industry where the majority of people in that industry either do not have jobs or do not make money, you are making a poor investment in terms of your education—if your goal is to make more money in the future. You are not making an investment in your financial future when you take out a loan to study pottery making, you are going on a learning vacation, and it’s a vacation that you will have to pay for.

Do I think a person with any common sense should spend $150,000 to learn how to put paint on a canvas? No, I do not think this makes any sense. Do I see the value in the pleasure that it brings? Do I see the value that it brings to society? Yes, of course I see that value, but what I do not see is justifying getting a student

loan for over $100,000 for a 17-year-old kid who has no idea what the hell he is getting into. To me, this is not about enhancing this child’s future and that of society as a whole, to me this is a gross financial scam, and it’s a hard and VERY expensive lesson to be learned.

Too many Americans who have fallen into debt traps have had to learn that this scam includes credit cards, unrealistic mortgages and even the national debt.

Should you go to college, yes you absolutely should, but if you cannot afford it, then you shouldn’t go and you should do something that you can afford to do.

I’m harsh on this subject, and it’s intentional, and the reason is because I’m surrounded by a generation of my colleagues and friends who have been duped and are strangled financially for the rest of their lives. It’s turned the kids

who just wanted to work hard and do what they thought was the right thing to do into young adults who are bitter about the hand that they have been dealt and facing a hopeless, unpayable future. Kind of not that different than the unpayable debt that countries all across the world have placed on top of future generations.

I hope this article gets read and connects with somebody in high school who is considering their college options. Be careful out there kid, you live in different financial times than your parents did, you need to be smart enough to know that well-intentioned people will happily put you in situations that do not benefit you.

It’s real money that you’re borrowing when you sign that student loan, it’s not a fantasy. Think before you sign, and seek counsel from your best financial advisor—yourself.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 30

THE SHELTERED ISLANDER

by Sally Flynn

Spring has Sprung!

Spring is just a season, but for women, it’s a completely different experience depending on how old you are.

When you’re in school, spring is a very long season. It feels like it’s six months until midJune when school ends. You still wear a jacket on your way to school in the morning and

carry it home in the warm afternoon. As you walk to see the last fragments of the brown leaves of autumn on the sidewalks and the curbs, along with cigarette butts which seem to survive anything. It’s perfect weather for dilly dallying and stopping somewhere to hang out with friends and discover who’s got a crush on whom. Boys were always clueless, but this is where girls begin the lifelong practice of over analyzing every single movement and gesture a male makes. We always think there’s hidden meaning in what they do. Only later do we realize that when they stare pensively off into space, they’re not thinking of how much they love us, they’re trying to remember when they last changed the oil.

In their 20s, women are thinking about dieting to get ready for summer swimsuits.

There’s men or women to be chased, depending on which team you’re on, and befriending

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In their 30s, women still enjoy spring as an end to the winter doldrums. We dread the end of school and the coming of summer when small, dirty people, called children, keep coming into the house and whining, “I’m bored...” Whenever my daughter said she was bored, it meant that she was going to decline any ideas I proposed and nag me until I was as miserable as she was. My only solution was to send her to someone else’s house, where she would be polite and sweet to somebody else’s parent.

In our 40s, spring means we get to buy some new furniture for the house, or maybe even score a whole new living room set. Because by now, we’re sick of the same beat up furniture and the kids have grown up enough not to set the sofa on fire, and we have learned that the husband’s Lazy Boy recliner, regardless of its smell or condition, is not up for negotiation.

New furniture will have to live around it or not be bought at all.

Now that I’m in my 50s, I try to make a point of stopping to enjoy spring and not rush from task to task. Time seems to pass so much faster now, and I caught myself looking at the tiny bright green leaves of a blooming maple tree and thinking, Thanksgiving will be here in no time.

I’ll have to give you a rain check on the 60s, 70s, and more. But for now, enjoy what you can when you can, and don’t watch Dr. Oz too much or you’ll worry yourself to death. Spring has sprung, let the good times roll!

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Schools react to 2% Cap

By Robert Sforza With a sigh of relief a majority of East End school districts will avoid proposing a budget that pierces New York State’s new tax levy cap, a controversial measure that was enacted by governor Cuomo last year.

Of the 24 East End school districts, 16 South Fork districts ranging from Eastport-South Manor to Montauk and the remaining seven North Fork districts spanning Riverhead to Orient Point, only four are currently over the new 2% levy cap.

The four districts over the new mandated cap await final budget approval, which will be held later this month. If those budgets fail on May 15, a revote will be subsequently held; however, here in lies the caveat. If the second budget vote fails a contingency budget will be adopted, most likely including additional cuts.

Only Westhampton Beach, RemensburgSpeonk, Amagansett, and Greenport School Districts are over their tax levy unit. All of these districts have proposed cuts in their first budget to bring their budget closer to their limit; however, if their budgets do not receive the supermajority in their communities, additional cuts will be made to meet their designated limit.

The governor’s bill, which also institutes a new requirement for simple-majority voter approval of any school tax increase below the cap, is defended as a more restrictive measure than those previously proposed by former Governors George Pataki and David Paterson. (continued on page 35)

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 31

HAMPTONS EPICURE

Golberz.com

Refracted Moments TM

Stacy Dermont

at the end of stories are called “endslugs.” How did we go 52 years without those?! We’ve also added photographs to our popular South O’ the Highway feature and there’s now less “jumping” of stories from page to page. And the paper we print on is a little thicker. We’re going to stick with this high quality newsprint, with a “glossy wrap” as we say in the biz.

Interestingly, we’ve discovered that a photograph is actually worth precisely 100 words.

So all the components are being shaken up and redistributed in a cleanerlooking package. The table of contents is being expanded in all kinds of fun ways. It’s all good.

As part of this process our designer came up with all-new headers for the different departments like Dining and Lifestyle, etc. He’s also devised nifty little logos for all the columns.

At one of our redesign meetings last month it was pointed out that the proposed Hamptons Epicure logo was missing something. It featured a bunch of kitchen utensils hanging from a horizontal rack. It looked great, really eye-catching—but this Hamptons Epicure does not live by food alone. Our designer was surprised and asked ‘what’s it all about then?’

(In past columns I’ve covered everything from chicken diapers to lucky pennies to cheese as a drug.) Unprepared for this I mumbled

Memories...

Defending My So-Called Life Dan’s Papers is about to undergo a major redesign.

Fear not, all the good stuff will still be here— Dan’s stories, our popular columns, restaurant reviews, calendars—the works.

It’s the look that will change soon.

Avid readers will have noticed some preliminary changes—those little “Dan hats”

More cheese, please!

something about “me being cheap in the land of lusciousness?” Thankfully my fellow writers are better speakers, Digital Director Eric Feil chimed in with something like, “It’s an examination of the unique culture and society of the Hamptons from a well-travelled participant-observer’s point of view, informed by a rich tapestry of verve and kookiness.”

Okay, I made that up, but he did say something really colorful and flattering.

The designer added a violin and a fountain pen to the mix of items hanging in my little logo. I can work with that. Look for weekly doses of virtuosic, old-school, pan-throwing yumminess this summer. It’s almost here!

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Making the Ordinary Extraordinary

IZCHAK HAIMOV CHORAL DIRECTOR

TRIBUTE TO THE KOUSSEVITZKY BROTHERS Cantors Moshe, David, Jacob and Simcha

Shabbat, May 5, 8:45am Cantor Netanel Hershtik and The Hampton Synagogue Choir, Izchak Haimov, conductor, chant liturgical compositions by the preeminent family of the cantorate, the Koussevitzky brothers.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 32

Dog

(continued from page 13)

shouldn’t be driving cars owned by strangers, although there would be nothing wrong with having dog owners arrange privately to borrow a friend’s car.

There is also a committee being set up to arrange to have all the dogs and their owners show up on the convention floor (leashed of course) to show their support for Romney.

However, according to a steering committee setting up this committee, the outpouring of people with station wagons and dogs is so great that there will be far too many dogs to fit on the

convention floor. The steering committee has thus begun talks with the owner of the stadium where the Tampa Bay Rays play. (The baseball team will be playing away games that week.)

There also will be a committee to visit all the gas stations on the three routes to Florida, alerting them of the possible need for hoses.

And of course there will be committees working on locations to set up media photo ops of the caravans as they go by. These caravans are expected to get enormous publicity for Romney, especially on Fox.

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This is a big operation. Early estimates suggest there will be more than 10,000 cars in each of these caravans. An awful lot of dog cages are going to be needed. (However, the owner of Alpo, a big supporter of Romney’s, has said his cage making division will go on triple shift—making cages 24 hours a day and 7 days a week for the next three months. In China. No dog will be left behind.

To participate, go to the site patrioticdogcaravansformitt.com, which, as of this writing, is expected to be online by next week. All the information you will need for you and your dog to join in this effort will be there.

(continued from page 15)

they’d had a Bay Keeper or a safari guide there to explain the giraffe and you were required to listen to him, that would be something else.

So now Southampton Town has strengthened the definition of what would constitute an educational purpose for displaying exotic animals.

After all, where does the joy of looking at a little wild bear cub turn into an educational experience involving looking at a little wild bear cub?

It’s now ok to have wild or exotic animals in town so long as people are able to learn from the experience, and not just be entertained.

And the town set academic standards for how the people explaining the animals have to be qualified.

As for the Shinnecock Nation, they are an itch that Southampton cannot scratch.

Southampton can hiss and roar, growl and rumble, shake a stick and twirl a lasso, but nothing they can say or do will change things at Shinnecock.

I will say that walking down Jobs Lane the other day, I encountered an enormous fourlegged creature on a leash whose owners told me was a cross between an Old English Mastiff and a Standard Poodle. It was white with black spots. It was the size of a rhinoceros.

“It’s a Mastipoo,” its owner, a man wearing a hunting jacket said proudly. “There are only a few of them. And they are very different one from another.”

“Friendly?” I asked.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 33

CLASSIC CARS

by Bob Gelber

Collector Cars I’ve often wondered what has happened to some of the many cars I’ve sold or have been acquainted with over the years. As in the film “The Yellow Rolls Royce”, I’m sure collector cars live many different lives under the care of various owners over the decades they change hands. Let me tell you a tale about a most interesting car.

FLASHBACK ABOUT 30 YEARS. I’m in Cologne, Germany meeting with the owner of DP Motorsports, Ekkehard Zimmerman, about a DP/Kremer Porsche 935 K3 race car he had in his shop for sale. For those of you who remember, DP Porsches were sold by the hundreds here in America. They were most commonly known by their flared fenders and their fiberglass slant nosed racy looks. By the way, “DP” stands for Design + Plastic, and Zimmerman is a master of creating fiberglass car bodies. I didn’t buy his Porsche, but came away impressed with his operation. Remember this paragraph.

FLASHBACK ABOUT 25 YEARS. Richard Rubio, the owner of Westhampton Coachworks, a fanatic car enthusiast if ever there was one,

called me and told me he had on consignment a very interesting car for sale. Rubio told me it was a BMW M1 Art Car. I’ve heard of these cars, but I had never seen one in person. The BMW M1 was a mid-engine machine that was produced from 1978 until 1981, and BMW hired several of the world’s most famous pop artists like Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein and Frank Stella to paint them for a European racing series called Procar. Rubio asked me if I knew anyone who was interested in buying this rather unique machine.

I called two friends for further advice and mentioned the art car to them. One, a local German national who was an automobile importer and exporter and the other, Henry Romney, who was a close friend of Andy Warhol and an expert on Pop Art. I set up an appointment for all three of us to view the car.

A week later the car was rather unceremoniously pulled out from its barn-like setting and was quite a sight. This particular M1 was painted by Frank Stella and was based upon some of his earlier works. Was it a car, or was it art? That was the question that went through my mind. I’ve never felt that a car body was a particularly good palette for fine art because a car is a three dimensional work of art in itself. But this Stella design, painted over the entire car, worked. However, be aware that this BMW was designed by the great Italian automobile designer, Giorgetto Giugiaro, and I wonder how he felt about all these pop artists swashbuckling their paint brushes over his original work.

Henry, Klaus and I seriously wondered what one would do with the car. Was the Frank Stella paint job worth more than the car itself? The owner was asking $100,000 for the car, which

14938

Frank Stella’s BMW M1 art car

was a lot of money 25 years ago. Regular, nonart car BMW M1s could be had for $25,000.

I had the rather bizarre but brilliant idea of contacting Zimmerman at DP and asking him if he could just cut the fiberglass body off the steel tube chassis and make another fiberglass replica body. You would then have the best of both worlds, a giant three dimensional pop art Frank Stella original to put on your beach house wall and an exotic BMW M1 in your garage.

Klaus tried to sell the car to friends in Germany and even contacted the head of the German BMW club and no one was interested.

As unique as the car was, no one seemed to be lusting after it.

I completely forgot about this car until last August when it showed up for auction by the Bonhams auction company, the same folks that had recently sold my old Porsche racecar. For years, it seemed to have been leading the good life hiding at the Guggenheim Museum. I guess it was actually decided that it was more art than automobile.

The car was purchased by Jonathan Sobel, the owner of BMW of Southampton for $854,000. This wonderful car, er, art can be seen at the BMW showroom in Southampton.

I toast Mr. Sobel for his good taste in both fine automobiles and in modern paintings.

14936

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 34

captain microchip

by Matthew Apfel

M Turn On, Tune Out: 3 Apps To Occupy Your Kids For Hours On End The advent of the tablet has totally changed the game for tired, detached parents like me.

Back in the day, our only technological pacifier was the TV set. There were 13 channels in all, with maybe one or two showing kids programs

at any given time. Most of the shows were so lame that kids could never really zone out and settle down.

It was a parental nightmare.

(PS: I told this story to my three children and they cracked up like it was some kind of joke.

Seriously, they think I made this world up.)

Thankfully, cable TV came along to give many more distractions – sorry, I mean viewing choices – for kids. The tablet took it to a whole new level. Not only can we access thousands of shows from services such as Netflix and cable on demand viewing platforms, but we also have Apps – thousands upon thousands of glorious, silly, time-wasting Apps – to destroy our kids’ minds for hours on end. Get this: some of these Apps are even educational!

Here are three good ones getting a lot of play on our family iPad:

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Don’t Let The Pigeon Run This App! This App is based on the hugely popular series of children’s books by Mo Willems. It’s our favorite app of the moment for multiple reasons.

First, it’s beautiful. The animation, artwork, and game logic flows seamlessly, with lots of fun little details such as the pigeon’s eyes that somehow move left and right to track your finger. This is especially useful for parents with very young children.

Second, it’s versatile. My 3-year-old boy is 100% convinced that the pigeon is really talking to him. At the same time, my girls (ages 8 and 6) can understand the silly humor and double entendres. Rarely do you see an App that entertains such a diverse audience.

Third, it’s got a lot of content. Most book Apps are just animated versions of the book.

There’s only so many times a child can play with it before wanting another experience. The Pigeon App lets your kid do all kinds of other things; there’s a pigeon-drawing game and a “choose your adventure” function to let them create their own stories by plugging in words at key times. The App even lets you record your own voice as the narrator.

There’s just a lot going on here – and it’s more than worth the $6.99 price, which is very steep for tablet Apps. I give this App my highest rating: 5 Sleeping Kids.

The Moron Test A true test of an App’s quality is how often you come back to it. Most kids Apps don’t last longer than a week or two. The kids read the book a few times, play the game for a while, and then it’s on to the next one.

Not so with the Moron Test. My kids have had it for well over a year, and they keep coming back to it. A very good sign.

The Moron Test is basically an audio-visual puzzle game that tries to trick you into giving incorrect responses and becoming a moron.

Each screen features a mini game – some kind of brain teaser question or visual puzzle that needs to be solved. While it all seems simple and easy, it’s remarkable how even the simplest questions can trip you up.

Some parents have objected to the notion of “morons” and “teaching stupid,” but it seems pretty fun and harmless. My rating: 4 Sleeping Kids.

Draw Something This App is a digital version of the old “Win Lose or Draw” TV game show. (Which, incidentally, was hosted by the dearly departed Bert Convy and produced by Burt Reynolds.

Yes, I knew that without Googling. I have problems.)

Anyway, Draw Something is wildly popular because it’s social. You draw a picture on the tablet, post it to a community site or send to your friends, and they must guess what the picture is.

Seems like a really fun game, but here’s where digital makes it bad for youngsters: I don’t want my kids posting things on the internet. They don’t need to get comments and have live chats with strangers. And once you turn off the Internet angle, the App is really just a nice digital drawing tool. You’d be better off pulling out the crayons and markers.

Draw Something is great for teens and grownups who are already connected to the Web. For us, it’s too late. But for kids, you should look elsewhere. My rating: 1 Sleeping Kid.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 35

10-MINUTE GOLF

by Darren Demaille

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding Hank Haney’s newest book, The Big Miss where Haney writes about his years coaching one of the greatest athletes in history, Tiger Woods. In The Big Miss, Haney shares private experiences, which many believe violate the unspoken code of the teacher and player relationship. Although Haney and Woods had no written agreement about the privacy of their relationship, I believe as a teacher that there is an unwritten rule that Haney broke.

Haney insists the underlying factor behind writing the book was to share his, “memories” behind Tiger’s greatness. Here are some notes and quotes from the book. You be the judge.

Obsession with Fitness Wood’s had an infatuation with the Navy Seals and endured training, which Hank believed was the cause for Tiger tearing his

Schools

ACL, as well as many other career-threating injuries. When Haney confronted Woods about engaging in these exercises Woods replied, “I am satisfied with what I’ve done in my career”.

Salary Hank spent six years working for Tiger.

Each year Hank would spend most of the year traveling and working with him. Tiger paid Hank $50,000 a year plus expenses with a bonus of $25,000 for every major championship won. Haney claims it wasn’t about the money, and he would have taught him for free.

Fellow Competitors Tiger did not always get along with everyone he played with. Ian Poulter was one of those people. After a practice round for the US Open, Poulter freeloads a ride back home on Tigers private jet. Haney goes on to describe the text message Tiger sent him about Poulter’s imposition.

The Popsicle Tiger is a big fan of popsicles after dinner.

Haney describes how Tiger would always get a popsicle out of the freezer and never offer him one. One evening Haney had a craving for one, “I didn’t feel right just going to the refrigerator and taking one, and I kind of started laughing to myself at how hesitant I was to ask Tiger for one. It actually took me a while to summon the courage to blurt out, ‘Hey, Bud, do you think I could have one of those popsicles?’”

Tiger’s Humor South Park was Tiger’s favorite TV series according to Haney. After Tiger’s extramarital affairs, the cartoon did a skit making light of Tiger. Haney writes, “He liked it so much that in the aftermath of his public scandal, when a Tiger Woods character was lampooned in one of the episodes, Tiger confessed to me that he laughed and actually seemed proud to have made the show.

I question Haney’s motive behind writing the book. Prior to the release, several excerpts were leaked which seemed like an obviously marketing ploy to help publicize the book.

This strategy exposes Haney’s true intentions.

In his final chapter, “Summing Up,” Haney cites a wish list including, “I wish Tiger had come back from rehab a different person. Not a lot different, just a little warmer and more open...I realize now that as hard as I tried to understand Tiger, he tried just as hard not to let me.” It is a good thing for Tiger that he resisted; otherwise the book could have been a little more interesting.

Darren deMaille is the Head Golf Professional at The Bridge in Bridgehampton, NY. Prior to The Bridge, Darren worked at The Bear’s Club in Jupiter, Fla. and The Country Club of Fairfield in Fairfield, Conn. Darren has had many top 100 instructors influence his philosophy but most of his principles are based on Jack Nicklaus’ way to play golf.

“There could be some changes between now and then, as long as we stay within the $111 million,” she explains.

Either South Fork or North Fork schools can

rework their proposed plan to decide on what programs or staff members to cut or lay-off—if need be—before the first vote, if they feel it will better suit their district and community.

(continued from page 30)

East End school districts: Bridgehampton, East Hampton, Eastport-South Manor, Fishers Island, Hampton Bays, Mattituck-Cutchogue, Montauk, New Suffolk, Oysterponds, Quogue, East Quogue, Riverhead, Sagaponack, Sag Harbor, Southampton, Southold, Springs, Shelter Island, Tuckahoe, and Wainscott are all under the tax levy.

East End school districts still have a couple weeks to revise their proposed budget, as long as the districts do not go over tax levy unit.

Riverhead School Board President Ann CottenDeGrasse said the district could still tweak the budget before the vote on May 15.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 36

South O

(continued from page 14)

speaker at the USTA Eastern LI Region Annual Awards Dinner on May 9 at Crest Hollow Country Club in Woodbury. Liguori has been covering tennis for WFAN Radio for years and will talk about everyone from Jimmy Connors and Martina Navratilova to the Williams sisters, Roger Federer and Novak Djokovich. * * * Nanci LaGarenne’s April 20 profile in Dan’s Papers of U.S. Olympic sailor and Shelter Island hometown hero Amanda Clark-Nissen was the first to employ her hyphenated name, Clark-Nissen. All the better to distance her from that diabolical character Amanda Clarke on the Hamptons-based TV show “Revenge!”

Check out GoTeamSail.org for the real deal. * * * Food bits: Java Nation served its last cup of coffee in Sag Harbor on a recent Sunday afternoon. Their new space near the Bridgehampton train station is three times the size and is due to open later this month. A new Blue Duck Bakery and Café will open in June in Riverhead on East Main Street. Montauk's popular beachfront restaurant Navy Beach reopened April 27, kicking off the season with a preview menu available through late May. Colin Ambrose, who owns Estia’s Little Kitchen in Sag Harbor, has opened a branch in Darien, Connecticut, serving breakfast and lunch—dinner service began May 1.

East Hampton’s Harbor Bistro re-opened for the season on May 3. Sag Harbor’s favorite cheese shop, Cavaniola’s is expanding to a new marketplace called All Good Things in Tribeca in August.

* * * Southampton producer Patricia Watt, along with Ava Astaire McKenzie, will present the 30th annual Fred & Adele Astaire Awards. Liza Minnelli will receive this year's Douglas Watt Lifetime Achievement Award.

The Liza Minnelli award is named for the late drama critic Douglas Watt who resided in Southampton for six decades and founded the Awards with Fred Astaire in 1982. Minnelli will be on hand for the announcement at the Nominations Announcement Party at The Lambs Club on May 7 along with many of the nominees. The Gala Awards Ceremony will also recognize the achievements of dance world legends Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon and the evening will be dedicated to producer and longtime Hamptons resident Martin Richards. This year the Adele Astaire Scholarship will honor three-time Tony Award-nominated Producer Kathleen Raitt, in addition to a young up-andcoming dancer. The Honorary Chairs Emeritus for the Astaire Awards are Jacques Azoulay, Countess Luann DeLesseps and Wendy Federman. The Gala Chairs are Carolyn Kendall Buchter and Alix Michel. The Benefit Chairs are Cassandra Seidenfeld Lyster and Sara Johnson Kaplan. The 30th Fred & Adele Astaire Awards will be presented on June 4 at New York University. * * * Saunders & Associates, a leading independent real estate firm in the Hamptons, has hired

Sandra Woodward Pullman. Pullman will serve as Vice President in the firm’s Bridgehampton office. * * * Renowned art collector Cheech Marin has rented the Sand Castle this summer? Only in the Hamptons. * * * In an article last week, The Wall Cheech Street Journal explored Montauk’s Marin evolution from a “gritty” fishing and surfing community to a new, chic Hamptons extension. In other Montauk news, celebrity chef and author Sam Talbot has left his position with The Surf Lodge to pursue other opportunities in the Caribbean.

And, according to The Real Deal, the Surf Lodge has been sold. See related editorial on page 24. * * * Bridgehampton’s stylist to the stars, Marc Zowine, advises: “Think natural, fresh beauty!

From curls of the crazy 70s to those of the swinging 40s and 50s. The hottest looks are all about sexy, bold textures from the past...languid smoky bedroom eyes...red lips and bright, bold highlights visible in your ponytail. Pull it back and swing it up or twist it tight and end it low.

Be daring...daring works.” * * * Bay Street Theatre celebrated board members Joy Behar, Adrianne Cohen and John Downing at its first-ever Honors Benefit. The event was held in Manhattan and featured a live performance by Liza Minnelli. Proceeds will benefit theatre programming.

EvErything OvEr a MilliOn Sales reported as of 4/27/2012

EaSt Hampton

311 Further Lane LLC to Elizabeth S Tiernan, 311 Further Lane, 6,600,000 Leisure Tech Group Ltd to Laurie & Scott Sommer, 72 Gould Street, 2,275,000 Cynthia Shorr to Jorge & Karen Carreras, 245 Kings Point Road, 1,900,000 Benjamin & Debra Polk to Erika & Marc Steinberg, 19 Surrey Court, 1,500,000 Chandler Consulting Inc to 30 Lee Associates LLC, 30 Lee Avenue, 25,750,000 Kathleen & Richard Romagnola to East Hampton Cottage LLC, 8 Conklin Terrace, 1,650,000

GREEnpoRt

David & Kelly Wenstrup to Susan Farrell, 1750 9th Street, 1,050,000

SaG HaRBoR

Marjorie & Tor Bono to 970 Brick Kiln Road Management LLC, 970 Brick Kiln Road, 1,550,000 124 West Henry Street LLC to James H Wilson, 124 West Henry Street, 2,800,000

SaGaponaCk

Elisabeth Peyton to James Moo Cow LLC, 889 Sagaponack Main Street, 3,715,000

SoUtHampton

Ruth Oppenheimer to Debra & Mark Klein, 38 Hawthorne Road, 1,540,000 Suzanne Worthington to Peconic Breeze LLC, 75 Peconic Bay Avenue, 1,160,000 Great Plains Road LLC to 291 Great Plains Road LLC, Great Plains Road, 6,300,000 Linda & Salvatore Amato to Mariafrancesca Carli, 33 Captains Neck Lane, 4,910,200

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Town of Southold to Bhavana Berries LLC, Hortons Lane, 1,051,000

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Estate of Leo S Walsh to Smith House Trust, 203 Dune Road, 4,242,000

Karol A Washburn to Laura & Richard Marooney, 9 Stock Farm Lane, 1,380,000

Laurents Hatcher Foundation Inc to Steven L Holley, 220 Dune Road, 3,150,000

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Estate of Thomas Nesbitt to Amagansett Estates LLC, 93 Montauk Highway, 975,000

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Dennis & Suzanne Heffernan to Jeremy T Armstrong, 1200 Skunk Lane, 752,666 Joseph P Gerstner to Jose Ricardo Guichay, 55 Three Mile Harbor Road, 525,000

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John O’Donnell to David & Sara Taplitz, 113 Harrison Avenue, 995,000 David A Blaustein to Michael Meltzer, 24 Wooded Oak Lane, 595,000 John Lederer to Bryan Steven Goldstein, 392 Stephen Hands Path, 575,000

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Tracie M Villani to Carrie T Shigetomi, 4340 Ole Jule Lane, 735,000 Winhaven Associates LLC to Macari Associates LLC, 2655 Stanley Road, 500,000

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Frank Taubner to Joseph & Loretta DiBenedetto, Prospect Hill Lane, 845,000

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Edward & Frances Kiernan to Herman & Jacqueline Hirsch, 21 Wintergreen Way, 775,000 Hatcher Drive Lot 7 LLC to Andrew Goodman, 8 Hatcher Drive, 750,000

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Estate of Walter F Mateyaschuk to Chris & Theresa Fitzpatrick, 10 Fox Hollow Run, 530,000

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Robert S Vogel to John & Megan Collins, 525 Water Terrace, 500,000

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Florence & Seymour Roistacher to Keith Brown, 260 Dune Road Unit 121, 530,000

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BRIDGEHampton

The Argo Corp to Angela N Bow, 127 Pheasant Drive 1,710,000

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 37 Editor: Maria Tennariello | Layout Designer: Nadine Cruz

gordin’s view barry gordin

1

The drama desk nominaTions

Donna Murphy and Brian d’Arcy James, joined by many notable Hamptons residents, announced The Drama Desk nominations for the 2011- 2012 season at Feinstein’s at Lowes Regency in New York.

2

CaveaT empTor!

Photos: Stacy Dermont Antiques expert Charles F. Hummel spoke to a sold-out house at the Clinton Academy in East Hampton.

3

1. Donna Murphy, Brian d’Arcy James (“Smash”) 2. Isa Goldberg (President Drama Desk), Randie Levine-Miller (Dir. Special Events Drama Desk) 3. Scott Siegel, Barbara Siegel (Chairperson Drama Desk Nominating Committee)

JbFCs’ annual spring gala beneFiT

Photos: Katlean DeMonchy The Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services (JBFCS) celebrated its Annual Spring Benefit at the Plaza Hotel, honoring Julie Menin, Chairperson of Community Board 1 and Joyce B. Cowin. The gala raised $2.2 million to help the mentally ill in New York.

1. Jean Shafiroff, Victor de Souzam 2. Julie Menin (Chairperson/ Honoree), Dr. Max Gomez 3. Joyce Cowin 1 2 3 (Honoree)

“wish upon a hero” FoundaTion Fundraiser

Charles Keller (Sponsor), Glenn Purcell (Sponsor), Charles F. Hummel, Richard Barons (Director, East Hampton Historical Society)

Fashion show and auCTion beneFiT

Photos: Tom Kochie The Third Annual Reconstructed Bra Fashion Show and Auction hosted by “Team Heaven Can Wait” and benefiting our local breast health organizations, was held at The Southampton Publick House.

1

Photos: Rose Marie Oliviero

The B East Real Ryder Fitness Studio in Amagansett participated in a countrywide live stream fundraiser for the “Wish Upon A Hero Foundation”, which grants wishes to those in need. Two wishes were presented after the two-hour live ride to Michelle Neufeld, Founder of the “Gimme Shelter Animal Rescue”, and to Brigid and Jim Stewart for Katy’s Courage. Many of the cyclists ran in the Katy’s Courage 5K Run as well.

1

2

2

3

4

5

3

1. Dave Girgenti (Wish Upon A Hero Foundation) with Brigid & Jim Stewart 2. Michelle Neufeld (Gimme Shelter Animal Rescue), Dave Girgenti (Wish Upon A Hero) 3. Instructors: Phyllis Sullivan, Rachelle Eldridge, Hero Man, Romaine Gordon, Adam Reid (Chief Trainer & Instructor, Real Ryder Indoor Cycle)

honoring kaTy’s Courage

Photos: Rose Marie Oliviero

Over 70 volunteers came out to support Katy’s Courage 5K Run, in honor of 12 year old Katy Stewart who lost her battle with a rare pediatric cancer in 2010. The organization founded by her parents Brigid and Jim is dedicated to support children and their families through support for counseling and pediatric cancer research.

1

2

3

1. Mark Lisi, Jim Stewart (Katy’s dad), Ben Lisi 2. Richard Temerian (1st place winner) and his family 3. Romaine Gordon & Rachelle Eldridge (Hamptons Water Company)

1. Artist/designers Shana Smith, Pat Kochie and Breahna Arnold 2. Sybille & Gerrit Van Kempen of the Loaves & Fishes Cookshop 3. Model Christine Laureano, modeling a design by Pat Kochie 4. Tammie Lenz modeling a creation by project Runway winner Leanne Marshall 5. Tammie Lenz bra and accessories by Tom Kochie

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 38

NORTH FORK Greenport Farmers Market Preview

Greenport Farmers Market

By Marianna Scandole We come out of hibernation from the doldrums of winter seeking revitalization.

The perfect way to find just that is at the Greenport Farmers Market (GFM), with its fresh produce and friendly faces.

The GFM is gearing up for its second season, running May 19 through October 13, every Saturday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The market will be located in the Greenport United Methodist parking lot.

The farmers market provides a chance to meet, interact and learn from the families who are growing the food you eat. There’s no questioning where the food comes from or the love that went into producing it. You will find fruits and veggies of course, as well as an array of herbs, flowers, poultry, eggs, cheese, baked goods, wine and other local products.

Lara McNeil, the GFM president, shares that over 15 local vendors participate, as well as a few rotating East End schools selling veggies from their greenhouse classrooms to raise funds to continue their programs.

Just a few participating vendors include: Blue Duck Bakery, Catapano Dairy Farm, Deep Roots Farm, Gula Gula Empanadas, Widows Hole Oysters Company and Scarcola Vineyards.

Fun events such as cooking demos with local chefs, baking contests and children’s nutrition activities spice up the market. Two booths are also available for local vineyards, as well as a non-profit booth to

The Greenport Farmers Market opens May 19

allow different organizations to fund raise.

McNeil proudly declares, “We are about 20% certified organic, but all our farmers (use) sustainable practices and most have (proven their environmental concern by signing) the NOFA-NY (Northeast Organic Farming Association of New York) Farmers Pledge.� A program will be in place soon to utilize leftover products if/when vendors aren’t sold out.

Currently the Greenport Farmers Market is the only farmers market on the North Fork, and it is the only venue where Senior and WIC farmer’s market

vouchers can be used. Farm stands do not accept these vouchers.

McNeil shares that the market accepts EBT Cards (Food Stamps), and it has “funded the Fresh Check program for 2012.

For each $5 spent on the card we give an additional $2 to be spent on fresh local vegetables.� “I love the sense of community that we experience every Saturday morning.

Our Volunteers are AMAZING,� McNeil raves. “I love watching the kids learn to eat different veggies. I love when a senior expresses their appreciation for having a closer place to use their FMNP (Farmers Market Nutrition Program) vouchers.

There are SO MANY things to love about our market.�

Local vendors can join the permanent line up, becoming Anchor Vendors for a mere $10 per week for the 22-week season.

Anchor Vendors also get a vote at the yearly meeting.

In addition, short-term participation options are available for vendors who don’t want to commit to the whole season.

Make the commercial market experience a thing of the past. Support your health and community by shopping at the Greenport Farmers Market.

For more info or to participate in the Greenport Farmers’ Market contact 631-494-8512 or info@GreenportFarmersMarket.com. www.GreenportFarmersMarket.com

Turtle Rescue Of The Hamptons,Inc. I Am A Turtle, I Think, I Feel, I Survive, I Am Not Disposable, I Am Not A Second Class Animal Simply Because I Can Not, Fetch, Roll Over, Or Shake Hands, Cold Blooded Does Not Mean I Do Not Feel Pain Or Fear, I Am A Life, And My Life Is Precious, I Am A Turtle...

-ANOR ,ANE s *AMESPORT .9 !,, $/.!4)/.3 7%,#/-%$ 0/ "OX *AMESPORT .9

Signs of Distress Any turtle found October- March (they should be hibernating) Predator, vehicle or machine Injury Use care when mowing the lawn!

Found d up upside sid ide d down own In same spot for long period, bleeding, missing limb, shell injury, bump by ear(s) Bubbles or mucus by nose or moth, making any sounds, lethargic, swollen eyes, walking in circles, acting confused. Any liquid discharge.

Turtle l Tip: i Turtle l Fact: NEVER PICK UP A SNAPPING TURTLE BY ITS TAIL. Turtles can live up to 100 years!

You can paralyze them!

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 north fork danshamptons.com Page 39

North Fork Events For more events happening this week, check out: Kid Calendar pg: 43 Arts & Galleries Listings pg: 49 Day by Day Calendar pg: 50 Contact organizations, as some require ticket purchase or advanced registration.

THURSDAY, MAY 3

CALL FOR ARTISTS – Through 6/1, 133 East Main St., RVHD. “La Morte,” an East End Arts gallery show. Open for all artists to submit works inspired by the subject of death. www.eeac.org.

NEW EXHIBIT AT THE SUFFOLK COUNTY HISTORICAL SOCIETY – Through 5/26, “Death Becomes Her: Objects of Art & Death and Mourning,” Exhibit hours Tuesday- Saturday 12:30-4:30 p.m., 300 West Main St., RVHD. 631-727-2881, www.suffolkcountyhistoricalsociety. org.

SHERWOOD HOUSE MUSIC – 4-8 p.m. Sherwood House Vineyard, 1291 Main Rd., Jamesport. 631-779-2817, www.sherwoodhousevineyards.com. Free.

FRIDAY, MAY 4

ACHIEVEMENT DAY AND CRAFT EXHIBIT – 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. George Young Community Center, 446 South Jamesport. Homemakers Day Unit will have raffles of crafts and themed baskets. Refreshments served. Contact Jane Kropp: 631-298-4239.

FOOD FOR THE NEEDY – Noon, every Friday. Old Sweezy Building, East Main St., RVHD. Free food and clothing provided by The Lighthouse Group. No questions asked.

FIRESIDE FRIDAYS – 4-7 p.m., Sherwood House Vineyards, 1291 Main Rd., Jamesport. Live music and drink specials. 631-779-2817, www.sherwoodhousevineyard.com.

EAST END ARTS, FIRST FRIDAY SERIES, ARTISTIN RESIDENCE PRESENTATION – LEONARDO GALA – 6 p.m. East End Arts’ Carriage House, 133 East Main St., RVHD. 631-369-2171, www.eastendarts.org.

LIVE MUSIC: DILIBERTO WINERY– 6-8 p.m. 250 Manor Ln., Jamesport. Jane Hastay and Peter Weiss perform, along with vocalist Darcey. Reservations suggested: 631-722-3416, www.dilibertowinery.com. $15 includes a glass of wine.

SATURDAY, MAY 5

5TH ANNUAL OVARIAN CANCER DAY – 9 a.m. – 2 p.m. East Wind Inn and Spa, Wading River. Day of education. Continental breakfast followed by a meet the experts Town Hall Forum, workshops, luncheon, awards ceremony. 516-365-7277, www.sassfoundation.org. Free.

SUSTAINABILE AGRICULTURE TOUR: THE OLD FIELD VINEYARD – Saturdays, 11:30 a.m. Main Rd., Southold. Learn about a practice used for centuries Reservations, 631-765-0004. www.theoldfield.com. $14 includes a tasting of six still wines.

VINE TO WINE TOUR: SANNINO BELLA VITA VINEYARD – Saturdays and Sundays, Noon. Peconic Ln., Peconic. 631-734-8282, www.sanninovineyard.com. $20 includes tour, tasting and a souvenir logo glass.

SPRINGTIME AT HALLOCKVILLE MUSEUM FARM – 1-4 p.m. 6038 Sound Ave., RVHD. Enjoy springtime activities. $5 members/$15 family of four, $6 nonmembers/$18 family of four. Children under 5 are free.

631-298-5292, www.hallockville.com. Rain date 5/6.

CINCO DE MAYO CELEBRATIONS – 1-5 p.m. Duck Walk North, 44535 Rte. 25 (Main Rd.), Southold. Salsa dancing. 631-765-3500, duckwalk.com.

LIVE MUSIC: PECONIC BAY WINERY – 1-5 p.m.

31320 Main Rd., Cutchogue. Featuring Gene Casey and the Lone Sharks. Reservations strongly recommended: 631-734-7361, www.peconicbaywinery.com.

WINEMAKER’S WALK: CASTELLO DI BORGHESE – Saturdays, 1 p.m. Rte. 48, Cutchogue. A guided tour of the winery and production facility and wine tasting.

Reservations, 631-734-5111. castellodiborghese.com. $20.

VINEYARD WALK: SHINN ESTATE VINEYARDS – Saturdays and Sundays, 1:30 p.m. Oregon Rd., Mattituck.

With Barbara Shinn. Reservations, 631-804-0367. hinnestatevineyards.com. $15 includes wine tasting.

LIVE MUSIC: DILIBERTO WINERY – 2-5 p.m. 250 Manor Ln., Jamesport. Singer Roger Calleo performs. 631722-3416, www.dilibertowinery.com.

EAST END ARTS 40TH ANNIVERSARY GALA – 6-11 p.m. Raphael Vineyard, Peconic. Featuring a musical performance by the legendary Doo-Wop and R&B group the Cleftones. The celebratory evening will include cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, dinner, dancing, open bar, and live art auction. 631-727-0900, www.eastendarts. org/events/Fantastic40.html. $150.

WINEMAKER DINNER PARTY – 6:30 p.m., Comtesse Therese Bistro, 739 Main Rd., Aquebogue. 631-779-2800, www.comtessetherese.com.

SATURDAY EVENING STARGAZING – 7 p.m.midnight. Custer Observatory, 1115 Main Bayview Rd., Southold. 631-765-2626, www.custerobservatory.org.

Suggested $5 donation adults, $3 kids, free for members.

LIVE MUSIC: PECONIC BAY WINERY – 1-5 p.m.

31320 Main Rd., Cutchogue. Featuring Bryce Larsen.

Reservations. 631-734-7361, www.peconicbaywinery.com.

VINEYARD HISTORICAL TOUR: THE OLD FIELD VINEYARD – Sundays, 1:30 p.m. Main Rd., Southold.

Experience the history of his 150-year-old farm with owner Chris Baiz. Reservations, 631-765-0004. www.theoldfield. com. $14 includes a tasting of six still wines.

NO DOUBT WORLD FAMOUS MONDAY NIGHT BAND – 2 p.m. Howard Hovey Auditorium in the Pulaski Street School in Riverhead. Final concert of the 66th season. 631-727-6538. Free.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT – Every Wednesday beginning at 3:30 p.m. Cooperage Inn, 2218 Sound Ave., Baiting Hollow.

Reservations 631-727-8994. www.cooperageinn.com.

THURSDAY, MAY 10

OPEN MIC NIGHT: PECONIC BAY WINERY – 6-9 p.m. 31320 Main Rd., Cutchogue. Hosted by MC Rocky DiVello. 631-734-7361, www.peconicbaywinery.com.

FRIDAY, MAY 11

METAPHYSICAL MAY – East End Arts, 133 East Main St., RVHD. 6:30 p.m. Transchanneling White Buffalo with Liz Younghans. 631-727-2881, www. suffolkcountyhistoricalsociety.org. $25.Register by May 8.

UPCOMING:

TASTE OF TWO FORKS – 7/14, 7:30-10 p.m., VIP admission at 6:30 p.m. Sayre Park, 154 Snake Hollow Road, BH. The food and wine event of the Hamptons returns for its second year. Hosted by Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten and Nicole Miller, the 2012 Ambassador of “TASTE.” A portion of the proceeds will benefit local food pantries through Have a Heart Community Trust. www.danstasteoftwoforks.com,. $225 VIP admission, $150 general admisison.

Send North Fork Calendar listings to kelly@danspapers. com before noon on Friday.

Check out www.danshamptons.com for more listings and events.

SUNDAY, MAY 6

BARK OF LIFE – Noon-3 p.m. Martha Clara Vineyards, 6025 Sound Ave., RVHD. Fundraiser for American Cancer Society. 631-298-0075, www.marthaclaravineyards.com.

LIVE MUSIC: OSPREY’S DOMINION VINEYARD – 1-4 p.m. 44075 Main Rd., Peconic. Live Music with SAHARA. 631-765-6188, www.ospreysdominion.com. Free.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 40

SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP with Maria Tennariello

Rose Jewelers Trunk Show This was a very busy weekend on the East End. As I drove through the villages, I couldn’t believe the people just walking, talking and, of course, shopping. The shops are bursting with new spring/ summer merchandise, just waiting for you to stop in; it’s almost Mother’s Day, so get shopping!

Especially for Mother’s Day, exclusively at Rose Jewelers, 57 Main Street, Southampton, there is a Heather Moore Jewelry Trunk Show Thursday, May 3 through Saturday, May 5. Heather Moore is known for her fine personalized charm collection.

Each name, date and symbol is hand stamped with vintage tooling, and made to your specifications with recycled precious metals.

In Southampton at 46 Main Street, Old Town Crossing’s showroom you will find their all -new spring 2012 inventory which includes luxury home furnishings and accessories. There is a beautiful line of hand-forged iron furniture made especially for Old Town Crossing by skilled artisans. A perfect choice for your indoor or outdoor mix, look for items such as consoles, writing, dining, cocktail and side tables.

These unique pieces are in stock and available to

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A NEW KID ON THE BLOCK: Known for their unique and sophisticated collectibles from all over the world, James B. Fairchild has arrived at 619 Hampton Road in Southampton. Located on the outskirts of Southampton Village, this shop offers nine thematic vignettes through which to browse, each with its own captivating one-of-a-kind pieces of art, accessories and antiques. Owned by James B. Fairchild himself, the shop represents years of combing world markets and connecting with exclusive vendors. Signature brands like Chanel, Prada, Hermes, and Givenchy are represented, as are one-of-a-kind pieces from artisans. This is a must-see shop. 631-259-3731, www.jamesbfairchild.com.

Until next week. Ciao and happy shopping!

If you have any questions or your shop is having sales, new inventory, re-opening, or you are a brand new business; my readers want to hear about it.

E-mail me at shoptil@danspapers.com – I will be happy to get the word out!

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Nearby at 34 Main Street, Southampton and on Main Street in Sag Harbor, at both locations of Flying Point Surf Shop, you will find brand new, ready to go for spring/summer merchandise that you will flip over. In the mix are women’s Tommy Bahamas Swim that has just arrived along with a huge shipment of over 400 pairs of TOMS footwear, all new Penny and Nickel skateboards, water-ski wakeboards from CWB/Connelly/Liquid Force, new POP phones, House of Marley headphones, and select stand-up paddleboards that are $75 off…and of course a favorite, 30% off Scullcandy. 631-7250705. patio.com, 1 Montauk Highway in Southampton, features outdoor and indoor furniture and accessories in cast aluminum, wicker, mahogany, all-weather wicker, strap and sling, umbrellas, cushions and covers to match any room, garden or patio. Don’t miss the new all-weather Lloyd Flanders Grand Travis Collection for anywhere in or out of your home. The space is fully stocked and ready to go for the spring/summer season. Open seven days, you will enjoy this upbeat, eclectic shop. 631-287-6414.

In Montauk, at 729 Main Street at Kailani, spring has sprung! The shop is open and stocked with great spring finds for everyone. To make room for all new goodies that will be arriving, the shop is having an early spring sale next week. Take an additional 10% off sale items (which are already 25 to 75% off). There are great fashions for women, men and children and the shop features unique jewelry, accessories, home décor and lots of MTK souvenir items. Think Mother’s Day…the sale will be in progress from Thursday, May 3 through

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 lifestyle danshamptons.com Page 41

Dr. Mark Brings Ultherapy to the Hamptons

Before

After

By Nanci E. LaGarenne Focused energy, micro-focused manner, the optimum temperature, feel and look younger, and go to dinner afterwards. Does this sound like some claim to the road to happiness? Maybe it is. If looking and feeling good about yourself – because you look good – makes you happy. And if the sale of face creams and lifting and toning serums tells you anything, it is that we all want to have that babysmooth skin we were born with for as long as we can.

Impossible? Maybe not.

Ultherapy, a trademarked procedure, uses ultrasound to penetrate deeper than any laser or any non-surgical device on the market. SMAS, otherwise known as your superficial muscular aponeurotic system, is what the Ulthera machine is getting down to. By heating up to the optimal 60 degrees Celsius, collagen is stimulated. The result: a lifting and toning of the skin that gets better and better following the procedure. How long does it last? One to two years down the road or more.

Ulthera is the only FDA-approved device that can claim such wonders. Are you ready to lift those early jowls, get rid of that sagging chin or neck, lift the brows, banish the frowning forehead lines, all without going under the knife?

Stay tuned.

Dr. Kenneth Mark is a cosmetic dermatologist and, as he says, “by far the most experienced one in the Hamptons” to attempt such a claim and procedure. Board certified in a true cosmetic specialty, dermatology, Dr. Mark is fellowshiptrained, specifically in lasers and non-invasive procedures. He did his residency and currently holds an academic appointment at NYU Department of Dermatology as Clinical Assistant Dermatology Professor. His main practice is in the Hamptons.

He has offices in East Hampton, Southampton, New York and Aspen. Tuesdays at Pantigo Medical in East Hampton. Mondays and Fridays at Southampton.

The rest of the week in New York. He has a satisfied clientele, specifically concerning Ultherapy. “This represents a whole new category within aesthetics,” says Dr. Mark. “My patients are thrilled to have an effective ‘entry level’ option for improving sagging skin without cutting or downtime.”

Why is Dr. Mark so “excited about this technology

and bringing it to the Hamptons?”

Because it works. Be it crinkly skin under the eyes, that bothersome neck area, those “are those my mother’s jowls?” that appear in your mirror suddenly, in two months, post-procedure, there is a 70% improvement. After two months, a 90% improvement. Better and better from the collagen stimulation. You have to love that! Dr. Mark knows that “people want natural results that you don’t always get from plastic surgery, and in today’s economy, why pay more and be disappointed with the results? The trend is instant gratification. The less downtime the better.”

Though Ultherapy is the hottest trend in skincare right now and Dr. Mark is the expert to experience it with, other procedures and techniques are available at his offices, too. Botox and Restylane,

for instance. “I am a real injectable expert,” says Dr. Mark. “Fillers and Botox are not just for wrinkles anymore.” Nor are they just for women. Men go for these procedures because they are not as obvious as plastic surgery. And here’s a little secret: they don’t like pain or the knife, either.

While you are scrambling to get to Dr. Mark’s website (www.kennethmarkmd.com), dash on over to White’s Pharmacy in East Hampton and see Dr. Mark’s own line of skincare products. Created with a chemist, they have ingredients with “herbal undertones and are anti-aging, anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant.” And pro-youthful. See the article about Dr. Mark’s line of skincare in Elle magazine’s April Beauty Genius issue.

Call for an appointment or to inquire about Ultherapy, 631-283-0002.

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“This represents a whole new category within aesthetic medicine, and my patients are thrilled to have an effective ‘entry level’ treatment that improves sagging skin without cutting or downtime.”

FDA APPROVED NON-SURGICAL LIFTS AND TONES THE SKIN STIMULATES COLLAGEN NO DOWNTIME Kenneth Mark, MD, FAAD, FACMS Clinical Assistant Professor NYU Department of Dermatology.

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 42

& Jeanelle Myers

Mulch It Good This week, as I worked in the soil, it was powder dry so the rain Tuesday was very welcome. As I drive around, I see many beds mulched and being mulched. The right mulch applied correctly will help with moisture retention. If you trust the predictions for this year, we will need that.

MY favorite mulches are compost and shredded leaves. I like to apply a very good layer of shredded leaves in the fall to all beds. In vegetable and flower beds and maybe even in shrub borders, an application of alfalfa pellets or soybean meal will provide some nitrogen so that when all of that plant material breaks down it will be yummy for the soil.

To obtain shredded leaves one may pick them up and put them through a shredder but just mowing over the ones in your yard and picking them up with a rake does very well. The pieces that remain after raking are good for the grass. They combine well with the grass clippings that hopefully have been left on the yard all year, after a mulching blade was used on the mower. Even unshredded leaves work well in tree and shrub borders – benefiting from an

BFS Man/Flickr

The view from The garden

infrequent stir with a rake. Shredded leaves lay well on the soil, decompose nicely, and provide nutrients for the soil and moisture retention. The best thing about them is that THEY ARE FREE. I have found it difficult to convince lawn mower people that leaves make a good mulch and that grass clippings need to be left on the grass (in small pieces). Sometimes homeowners have a difficult time with the idea of leaves being used as mulch but the shredded leaves can be dressed with a thin layer of more decorative mulch.

Grass clippings can also be used discretely in gardens in thin layers as mulch and will break down into Consider natural and cheap ways to mulch soil nutrients. Do not use the clippings if there are seeds in them. In fact, a combination of remember that some mulches form a crust that is leaves and grass in small pieces on any bed is an difficult for rain to penetrate. Mulch applied around ideal, mulch-providing weed suppression, moisture tree trunks keeps the string trimmer away from the trunk and can benefit the tree if applied to the retention, and soil enrichment.

Good compost (like the kind you make yourself) drip line of the tree. Do not use landscape fabric is the best mulch although it just looks like soil or plastic under mulch in any bed; it should not be (which is fine for me). Bad compost can kill your needed and will cause problems down the line. Oak plants and make your soil sick. You will know it is leaves and pine needles tend to be acidic – so under bad if it smells like anything other than sweet soil. plants that do not like that condition, another mulch Unfortunately, a lot of bulk compost available in our should be used. A thin layer of mulch in the spring may be all that is needed over last year’s mulch to area is unfinished – it should not be used.

If shredded leaves do not appeal to you (just give freshen the beds.

I have used the leaves from my own four huge it some thought though, they are the natural mulch and FREE), there are good mulches available at oaks in my beds for years. I don’t even shred them our garden centers. Here are some cautions: do not and where those leaves lie, I have no weeds and tons apply mulch more than 1.5 inches in depth, do not of earthworms in my Sag Harbor garden.

For more gardening discussion, call Jeanelle apply on the crowns of perennials and annuals, do Myers 631-434-5067. not cover the root flares of trees and shrubs,

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Kid’s Calendar North Fork Calendar pg: 39 Arts & Galleries Listings pg: 49 Day by Day Calendar pg: 50 AMG-Amagansett; BH-Bridgehampton; EH-East Hampton; HB-Hampton Bays; MV-Manorville; MTKMontauk; Q-Quogue; RVHD-Riverhead; SGH-Sag Harbor; SGK-Sagaponack; SH-Southampton; WM-Water Mill; WH-Westhampton; WHB-West Hampton Beach WS-Wainscott

THURSDAY, MAY 3

SPRING PERFORMING ARTS CLASSES – Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, 76 Main St., WHB. Registration now open for spring performing arts classes. Check for class topics, times and ages. 631-2881500, www.whbpac.org.

FRIDAY, MAY 4

CHAMPIONSHIP FRIDAYS AT ROSS – 6:30-8 p.m., Ross School Tennis Center, 18 Goodfriend Dr., EH. Nonstop pro-supervised competitive matches every Friday through June 2012 for players ages 10 to 17. Prizes are awarded each week and at season’s end. Players must be able to serve. 631-907-5162, www.ross.org/tennis. $30.

SEUSSICAL THE MUSICAL – 7:30 p.m. Bay Street Theatre, Long Wharf, SGH. This musical celebration is performed by the talented young actors of Stages, A Children’s Theatre Workshop, Inc. 631-329-1420, www. stagesworkshop.org. $15. Also 5/5, 2 p.m. and 5/6, 2 p.m.

Yappy Hour

By Kelly Laffey

HAMPTONS BASEBALL CAMP – Saturdays, 9-11:30 a.m. Rte. 27 and Deerfield Rd., WM., www. hamptonsbaseballcamp.com.

HAYGROUND SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE – 10 a.m.

Hayground Campus, 51 Mitchell Ln., BH. Prospective parents and children welcome for tours, presentations, and an overview of the program, followed by a Q&A with Hayground teachers. 631-537-7068, cbuck@hayground.org.

PECONIC FAMILY FUN DAY ADVENTURE WALKS – 10:30 and 11:15 a.m. South Fork Natural History Museum, 377 Bridgehampton-Sag Harbor Tpk, BH. 631537-9735. Free.

MAGIC AT THE GATHERING TOURNAMENT – 1-4 p.m. SYS, 1370a Majors Path, SH. Open to students in 6th through 12th grades. First, second and third place prizes will be awarded. 631-702-2421, www.southamptontownny. gov/youthbureau.

SPRINGTIME AT HALLOCKVILLE – 1-4 p.m., Hallockville Museum Farm, 6038 Sound Ave., RVHD. Bring the family and enjoy children’s activities and learn about Spring on the Farm! Activities include: Story Time with Baby Chicks; Spring Relay Race; Farm Chores; Scavenger Hunt; Name the New Baby Calf; Cow Plop Bingo; Master Gardener and Plant Sales; Raffle for Garden Supplies and More! All proceeds go to support Hallockville Museum Farm. 631-298-5292, www.hallockville.com. $5 for members/$15 family of four, $6 nonmembers/$18 family of four, Children under five are free. Rain date 5/6.

ARE YOU MY MOTHER? – 3 p.m. Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, 76 Main St., WHB. At long last, Baby Bird emerges from her shell and expects to be greeted by her mother’s song. But her mother is not there! Where is she? With the help of Dog, Cat and Hen, Baby Bird sets out in search of Mother Bird in this colorful musical adventure based on P.D. Eastman’s whimsical and well-loved picture book “Are You My Mother?” 631-288-1500, whbpac.org. $25, $20, $15.

TRADITIONAL FIESTA! STORY AND CRAFT TIME – 3 p.m., Amagansett Free Library, 215 Main St., AMG. What is Cinco de Mayo without a fiesta? Join us as we celebrate with stories and a craft. Perfect for families. 631267-3810, www.amaglibrary.org.

NEW ENGLAND BARN DANCE – 8-11 p.m., Water Mill Community House. Dances be will taught by the caller, Bob Isaacs. Live music by Dunegrass. Introductory lesson at 7:45 p.m. No partner necessary, beginners welcome, soft-soled shoes requested. Long Island Traditional Music Association (LITMA). 631-725-3103, www.litma.org. $14 adults, $7 students, children up to 16 free with adult.

SUNDAY, MAY 6

THE ART OF LIFE – 11:30 a.m.-12:45 p.m., Sundays, Amy’s Ark Studio, 10 Hollow Ln., WH. Children’s art classes for ages 3-12. 631-902-3655, www.amysarkstudio. wordpress.com. $95 for 4 sessions.

BIRDS OF PREY DEMONSTRATION WITH WILDLIFE RESCUE CENTER OF THE HAMPTONS – 1-3 p.m. Marders, 120 Snake Hollow Rd., BH. 631-5373700. Free.

SPRING FAMILY FESTIVAL – 1-4 p.m. Parrish Art Museum, 25 Jobs Ln., SH. The festivities include a show from Slapdash Comedy, stilt-walkers, juggling, spring art activities, face painting and caricature portraits. 631-2832118, www.parrishart.org.

DR. NANCY COSENZA DENTISTRY

SAG HARBOR YOUTH CENTER – Hours: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 2:30-6 p.m., Saturday, 1-4 p.m. 44 Union St., SGH. 631-725-2746.

THE ART OF LIFE – 4-5 p.m., Mondays, Amy’s Ark Studio, 10 Hollow Ln., WH. Children’s art classes for ages 3-12. 631-902-3655, www.amysarkstudio.wordpress.com. $85 for 4 sessions.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9

CHILDREN’S YOGA – 3:45 a.m.-4:45 p.m., Sundays, Amy’s Ark Studio, 10 Hollow Ln., WH. 631-902-3655, www.amysarkstudio.wordpress.com. $10.

THURSDAY, MAY 10

MUSIC TOGETHER BY THE DUNES – The Joy of Family Music. Join us in this popular Early Childhood Music and Movement program for children, newborn through age 5, and their parents or caregivers. Singing, dancing, rhythmic chants, instrument play and movement.

Songbook, CDs, newsletters and parent guide w/DVD are included with tuition. Monday and Tuesday mornings at the Dance Center of the Hamptons in WHB, Monday afternoon at Kidnastics in Center Moriches, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings at the East Hampton First United Methodist Church, Thursday mornings at the Southampton Cultural Center, Friday mornings at SYS Recreation Center on Majors Path in SH and the Children’s Museum in BH. 631764-4180, www.mtbythedunes.com.

FRIDAY, MAY 11

SHARK DIVE – Daily. 11 a.m., ages 12 and up (12-17 must be accompanied by a parent). Long Island Aquarium and Exhibition Center, 431 East Main St., RVHD. 631-2089200, www.longislandaquarium.com. $155/nonmembers, $140/members (includes aquarium admission).

UPCOMING

GROW PLANTS! GROW! – 5/13, 10 a.m. South Fork Natural History Museum, 377 Bridgehampton-Sag Harbor Tpk, BH. Ages 6-8. Reservations. 631-537-9735. Free to $7.

DEADLINE FOR SOUTHAMPTON YOUTH BUREAU’S 8TH ANNUAL PHOTO CONTEST EXTENDED – New deadline 5/14. This year’s theme is “The Animals Around Us.” Entries can be submitted in any format, with an explanation of the inspiration for the piece.

Call 631-702-2421 or visit www.southamptontownny.gov/ youthbureau for details.

Email Kid’s Calendar listings to kelly@danspapers.com before noon on Friday.

Check out www.danshamptons.com for more listings and events.

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Southampton East Hampton Southold

s

FOR CHILDREN TEENS & HANDICAPPED

MONDAY, MAY 7

on

Celebrate Cinco de Mayo at Foody’s in Water Mill for a dog-friendly Yappy Hour!

“It will be a great way to socialize and enjoy the day!” says Bryan Futerman, the owner and chef at Foody’s.

Lisa the Dog Trainer and her special guest will be on hand, and the Hamptons very own “Hamptons Pet Chef” (as seen on Animal Planet) will serve as the doggy hostess. She’ll provide tasty creations for the pups.

Last Chance Animal Rescue Shelter will be at the event with dogs for adoption.

Foody’s will provide food and drink specials for the canines’ human companions, including adobo tacos, fresh salsa, guacamole and chips.

And, of course, patrons are invited to top off their meal with a cold Corona.

A family-friendly restaurant, Foody’s is a unique and eclectic pizza place and barbecue joint – you can smell the cherry wood burning grill as you walk in the door – that specializes in farm-to-table movement. Featuring an expansive menu and daily specials, Foody’s meals are made from scratch using fresh, local ingredients.

“We serve unique, sophisticated food that’s accessible for everyone,” says Futerman.

There will also be many specials at participating Water Mill Shops during the event, which will run from 3:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. Yappy Hour will be held on Foody’s patio.

“Throughout the summer, there will be many outdoor events to highlight the tenants of the Water Mill Shops,” says Futerman. And plans are in the works for once-a-month Yappy Hours. Chihuahuas drink free.

For additional information, contact Lisa at 786-942-7387 or check out Foody’s Facebook page. The Water Mill Shops, 760 Montauk Highway, Water Mill.

SATURDAY, MAY 5

Bo t

For more events happening this week, check out:

287-9700 324-9700 765-9700

www.tickcontrol.com

12822

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 44

&

by Silvia Lehrer

It’s a feel-good time just to see the greening of spring at the farmers markets and farmstands that are opening at a brisk pace here on the East End. With longer, sunnier days in view, we are in prime time to enjoy the bounty fresh from the growers.

No doubt the farming community here on the East End has inspired me, but no matter where I have lived I’ve gravitated towards the beauty of truly fresh produce. Overflowing bins of colorful lettuces, asparagus, spinach and kale to prepare into healthy dishes. A nutritionist I know appropriately advised, “Eat something green every day.”

Bucatini with asparagus and spinach, a terrific one-dish meal, is a double header in the nutrition department, incorporating glorious asparagus and fresh, crinkly spinach. Kale with currants makes a delectable side dish or for a salad course prepare a beautiful and delicious asparagus with caper vinaigrette.

ASPARAGUS IN CAPER VINAIGRETTE To ensure tenderness, choose asparagus that are firm with compact closed tips and stalks that are

so cut ends meet in the center of dish with tips facing out. Place red pepper garnish over cut ends and top with additional capers. Spoon dressing over spears, leaving the tips exposed.

CAPER VINAIGRETTE 2-3 teaspoons Dijon mustard 1/2 teaspoon coarse (kosher) salt Freshly ground pepper 2 tablespoons sherry or tarragon vinegar 1 teaspoon lemon juice 1/4 cup capers, drained 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil GARNISH Roasted red peppers or pimentos cut into 1/2-inch strips, optional Additional capers, optional 1. Snap off the woody ends of asparagus where they naturally bend. With the tip of a paring knife, trim away the triangular scales along the spear, leaving the tender scales at the head. Rinse clean.

2. Place asparagus spears in a large skillet. Pour fresh cold water over to barely cover and bring to the edge of a boil. Add salt. Adjust heat to a brisk simmer and cook uncovered for 4 to 8 minutes depending on thickness of asparagus. Do not overcook. Test for doneness with the tip of a knife or press with fingertips. Drain asparagus and cool quickly under a spray of cold water. Spread on a clean kitchen towel and pat dry to absorb excess moisture.

3. Caper Vinaigrette: combine mustard, salt, pepper, vinegar, lemon juice, and capers and stir to mix. Gradually add oil until mixture is thoroughly blended. Taste to adjust seasoning if necessary.

4. To Serve: Arrange asparagus on a serving dish

in the Harbor

— ope n 7 days —

a CHeF MattHew guiFFrida reStaurant

Wed - Sun 5:30pm

BOUILLABAISSE $21

taking reservations tue sday FILET MIGNON $22 for Mother’s Day sundayBreakfast to th ur sday 5 to 7 we dne sday al l n i g h t

Brunch • Lunch • Dinner Patisserie monday• Bar I L L A B Aice Ih SS• E creaM $lunc 21 bUrunc h hoMeB OMaDe

tue sday

dgourMet i nne r • pat i s se ri e • bar Market FILET MIGNON $22 h omwe e made dne sdayi c e c ream

d i nne r • pat i s se ri e • bar pierresbridgehampton.com h om e made i c e c ream

2486 MAIN STREET . BRIDGEHAMPTON, NY 11932 R E S E RVAT I O N S : 6 3 1 . 5 3 7 . 5 1 1 0

10579

$28.95 Prix Fixe Wed, Thurs & Sun Until 7pm Fri & Sat

CLOSED MONDAY & TUESDAY

Night

16 Main Street Sag Harbor nY 631.899.4810 www.museintheharbor.com

OPEN FOR LUNCH AND DINNER SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AT NOON

6 BAY STREET • SAG HARBOR

(ACROSS FROM MARINE PARK)

631.725.7009

Tutto il Giorno South $33 three-course prix fixe dinner sun, mon & thurs all night and fri from 6-7

OPEN FOR DINNER THURS - MON AT 6PM 13072

2 4 8 6ReseRvations: M A I N S T R E E T . B631.537.5110 RIDGEHAMPTON, NY 11932 R E S E RVAT I O N S : 6 3 1 . 5 3 7 . 5 1 1 0 b runc h • lunc h ny 11932 2468 main stReet . BRidgehampton, w w w. p i e r r e s b r i d g e h a m p t o n . c o m

Tutto il Giorno 20% off bottles of wine or $9 per glass

Live Music Thurs 7-10pM

2 LB LOBSTER FRICASSEE $22

BUCATINI WITH ASPARAGUS AND SPINACH Bucatini (also called perciatelli) is a thick spaghetti with an almost imperceptible hole through its entire length and is suitable dry pasta for use with vegetables.

Serves 4 to 6 3/4 pound asparagus 1 1/2 pounds spinach leaves only 1 bunch scallions, white and light green part 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

OPEN FOR DINNER WEDNESDAY THROUGH FRIDAY AT 6PM

All

we dne sday

2 L B PLROI XB SF T I XEER $F2R5I C A S S E E $ 2 2

Reprinted from Silvia Lehrer’s Savoring the Hamptons: Discovering the Food and Wine of Long Island’s East End, Running Press, 2011

$33 three-course prix fixe dinner wed, thurs & sunday all night friday from 6-7 pm

Now opeN

sunday to th ur sday 5 to 7 we dne sday al l n i g h t —open ope n 77 days days — monday

1. Soak currants in orange juice and let stand for 15 minutes. Set aside.

2. If necessary, soak kale in water to cover after trimming. Drain and plunge the leaves in boiling salted water. Cook for 10 minutes. Drain well and cut into large coarse pieces.

3. Heat oil with butter in a large skillet and when butter melts put in the kale and cook for a few minutes, tossing with tongs to coat the vegetable in the fat. Season with salt and pepper to taste, pour in the plumped currants and the orange juice and simmer for a few minutes longer until liquid evaporates. Serve warm or at room temperature.

(continued on next page)

RestauRant • Lounge PRIX FIXE $25

KALE WITH CURRANTS Kale is particularly rich in vitamin C with a plentiful dose of calcium.

Serves 3 to 4 1/4 cup currants 1/4 cup orange juice 1 bunch kale, leaves trimmed and washed 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 1 tablespoon unsalted butter Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

OPEN FOR LUNCH SATURDAY & SUNDAY AT NOON CLOSED TUES & WED 56 NUGENT STREET • SOUTHAMPTON

631.377.3611

13254

simple art of cooking

green almost their entire length.

Serves 8 2 pounds fresh asparagus Kosher salt

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 food & dining danshamptons.com Page 45

Simple

(continued from previous page)

SIDE DISH

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste 1/2 cup heavy cream 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese 2-3 tablespoons snipped chives

by Aji Jones

FOR THE PASTA 1 pound bucatini Kosher salt for cooking the pasta 1. Break asparagus spears at the base where they naturally bend, then with the tip of a paring knife remove the points along the spears, leaving the tender tips. Cut the asparagus into 1-inch lengths and cook in salted boiling water for 6-7 minutes; drain.

2. Meanwhile, rinse spinach then soak in several changes of lukewarm water until free of sandy deposits. Place spinach in a pot directly from its last rinse and cook, covered, in the water that clings to its leaves for 3 minutes after it comes to a boil.

Drain and chop coarsely. Cut scallions into one-inch lengths on the diagonal. Vegetables can be prepared ahead to this point.

3. Bring a 5 to 6 quart pot of water to the boil, stir in 1 to 2 tablespoons salt and put in the pasta.

Separate the strands with a pasta fork and cook at a rolling boil for about 9 to 12 minutes or according to the directions on the package until al dente, firm to the bite.

4. Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a large skillet, add the garlic and sauté briefly. Add the prepared vegetables, season to taste with salt and pepper and add the cream. Simmer the mixture for several minutes until the vegetables are heated through. By this time the pasta should be done. Drain the pasta and return it to the pot it cooked in. Add half the vegetable sauce and toss to mix. Transfer to a warm serving bowl. Pour the remaining sauce over it, toss to mix, sprinkle with grated cheese and chives and serve at once.

La Fondita in Amagansett has reopened for 2012.

Current hours are Wednesday and Sunday from 11:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. and until 9 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. In addition to daily specials, menu items may include tortilla soup with avocado, queso fresco and crema ($4.25/8.50); soft-shelled crab tacos with chipotle mayonnaise and shredded cabbage ($6.50); and tortilla chips with cheese, refried beans, choice of meat, pico de gallo and crema ($11.50). Beginning Memorial Day, the restaurant will be open daily.

631-267-8800 Navy Beach in Montauk is also open for the season and will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with food and drink specials at the bar on Saturday, May 5. From noon to 5 p.m. revelers can enjoy three fish tacos with pico de gallo and lime crema with a Corona, for $15, or with a margarita, for $20. Presently, lunch will be served every weekend beginning at noon and dinner service will begin at 5:30 p.m. Friday to Sunday until May 7; Thursday to Sunday from May 10 to May 28; and Thursday to Monday from May 31 to June 14. Lunch and dinner will be offered seven days starting June 15. The menu will feature the return of signature dishes including the sautéed crab cake, crispy calamari salad, and Montauk clam and corn chowder. 631-668-6868 Phao in Sag Harbor will observe Cinco de Mayo on Saturday, May 5 at 10:30 p.m. Drink specials

Local coffee tastes better

zach erdem presents

Breakfast & Lunch Café Locally Grown, Homeade & Caught Items:

WESTHAMPTON BEACH 2012 FARMERS’ MARKET EVERY SATURDAY 9am –1pm MAY 5TH – November 17TH

40+ Growers, Farmers & Producers 85 Mill Road – Westhampton Beach

75 MAIN

Free Wi-Fi !

Bakery

sunDay May 13th Mother’s Day Brunch Featuring a special Menu

hand-roasted estate-grown coffees Water Mill

Westhampton Beach

Mobile Espresso Unit www.hamptoncoffeecompany.com

10797

vegetables duck • pies cut flowers cheese • jam pasta • honey wine • pickles shellfish • eggs gourmet • items fresh chicken shrubs • plants herbs • ointments sauces • berries crabs • lotions soap • flowers cheese cake cookies • turkey berries • fruit granola • duck bread • muffins scallops • fish preserves gluten free items fresh mozzerella scallop pie • soup spreads • milk

include $5 drafts, $10 well drinks and tequila specials. DJ Chile spins top 40 hits all night long and entry is free. 631-725-0101 Rowdy Hall in East Hampton will host a special Conscious Cuisine dinner on Thursday, May 10 featuring a round table discussion and Q&A with Stefanie Sacks, MS, CNS, a Hamptons Culinary Nutritionist and the creator and host of “Chew on This!” The event begins at 6 p.m. with hors d’oeuvres and cocktails followed by a three-course dinner, with wine pairings. Sacks will lead a round table discussion on making conscious food choices, whether dining in or out, for you and your family.

The cost of the dinner is $65 per person plus tax and gratuity. Reservations are recommended. 631324-8555 The Coast Grill in Southampton will serve a threecourse prix fixe menu on Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 13. Cost is $42 per person. Wild mushroom risotto with shaved reggiano and truffle essence; almond crusted fluke with toasted farro, baby spinach and amaretto beurre blanc; and chocolate banana bread pudding with Tahitian vanilla gelato and crème Anglaise are among the offerings. 631-283-2277 Jamesport Manor Inn in Jamesport offers a la carte dining on Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 13, beginning at 11:30 a.m. Brunch offerings include duck confit fettuccine and lobster “BLT,” while dinner selections feature wild mushroom toast with whipped goat cheese and chive Madeira vinaigrette and roasted New Zealand rack of lamb with Gruyere potato gratin, sugar snap peas, asparagus and cherry black pepper sauce. Menu for young diners available. Reservations are required. 631-722-0500 Muse in the Harbor in Sag Harbor is now open Wednesday to Sunday from 5:30 p.m. A $28.95 threecourse prix fixe is available until 7 p.m. on Friday and Saturday and all night Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday. Selections may include soup of the moment, mambo chicken Italiano and Grandma G’s zeppole. Guests will enjoy live music by Jim Turner, Sundays starting at 6 p.m. 631-899-4810

Open 6am-7pm all year!

rvations for Mot her’s g rese akin t Day w o N

we invite you to try our spring Menu!

cinco De Mayo party saturDay May 5th

$5 house Drinks till MiDnight! $5 Beers all night!

75 Main Delray Beach is now open!

(561) 243-7975

RISTORANTE PIZZERIA

S E T B A C K F R O M M A I N T H O R O U G H FA R E 674 Montauk Highway | East Quogue | 631-653-6004 VALENTEPIZZERIA.COM

www.WesthamptonBeachFarmersMarket.com

Friday - Latin Night is Back! $5 Coronas and Margaritas Saturday - Top International DJ’s And Talent

open 7 Days lunch anD Dinner 75 Main Street • Southampton

www.75main.com • 75main.restaurant@gmail.com 14939

Looking for waitress help

14611

631-283-7575

14869

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 food & dining danshamptons.com Page 46

Review: Pagano’s Little Italian Place

DINING OUT

75 MAIN RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE – New executive chef David Hensley from the Russian Tea Room, New Contemporary American Cuisine. Open daily, 8 a.m.4:30 p.m. Dinner 4:30 p.m.-midnight, 75 Main Street, Southampton. 631-283-7575, www.75main.com.

BOBBY VAN’S – Steakhouse classics and fresh fish. Open 363 days for lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. Fri. & Sat. ‘til 11 p.m. Main St., Bridgehampton. 631-537-0590.

CLIFF’S ELBOW ROOM – The best aged and marinated steak, freshest seafood and local wines, in a casual, warm atmosphere. Lunch and dinner. Two locations: 1549 Main Road, Jamesport, 631-722-3292; 1065 Franklinville Rd., Laurel, 631-298-3262. www.elbowroomli.com.

COPA WINE & TAPAS RESTAURANT – Friday, Monica Hughes Performs. Saturday, Scottie Hopson performs. Dinner served Mon-Thurs till 10 p.m., Fri, Sat til 11 p.m. Late-night menu: 200 Bottles of wine, 40 wines by the glass. 95 School St., Bridgehampton. 631-613-6469.

ESTIA’S LITTLE KITCHEN – Enjoy breakfast, lunch and dinner influenced by the flavors of Mexico.

Dinner reservations recommended. 1615 Sag HarborBridgehampton Turnpike, Bridgehampton. 631-725-1045, www.estiaslittlekitchen.com.

GREENPORT TEA COMPANY – Bring Your Own Tea Cup Tea Tasting. The first Thursday of every month, the Greenport Tea Company will offer complimentary tastings 5 p.m.-7 p.m. at the tea bar in our new location on Front Street, Greenport across from Mitchell Park. Tastings are fun and informal, just bring your teacup and enthusiasm for tea. Any tea purchased of 1/2 lb or more during the tasting will receive an additional 5% off on top of the 10% off in store special. Greenport 120-122 Front Street, Greenport. 631-477-8744.

HAMPTON COFFEE COMPANY – Espresso bar and bakery, breakfast and lunch café. Kid friendly! Dan’s Papers “Best of the Best!” 6 a.m.-6 p.m. daily. Locations on Montauk

The biggest change in the restaurant is the addition of a full-size pizza counter and ovens right there behind it. This takes up most of the front of the restaurant. It’s now very handy to pop in for a slice or a whole pie and go. Of course you can still stay in at a table or enjoy the sights at a table out front.

Fear not TLIP fans – that big serpentine bar is still right where it belongs in the back. The evening we visited there was a “Happy Hour” special from noon to 6 p.m.! Mixed well drinks for $1.99 – that’s pretty happy. But maybe their local wines by the bottle are more your speed.

Husband started off with a house Pinot Grigio. We

Highway in Water Mill and Mill Road in Westhampton Beach and also anywhere via their Mobile Espresso Unit.

631-726-COFE, www.hamptoncoffeecompany.com.

HARBOR BISTRO – One of the best sunsets on the East End. Great food and wine on the waterfront. 313 Three Mile Harbor Road, East Hampton. 631-324-7300, www. harborbistro.net.

HARBOR GRILL – Affordable American dining. Familyfriendly! 367 Three Mile Harbor Road, East Hampton.

631-604-5290, www.facebook.com/harborgrill.

JAMESPORT MANOR INN – Zagat-rated New American Cuisine. Sustainable, fresh and local food and wine. Dinner three-course prix fixe, Sun.-Thurs., $35 4:30 to 6 p.m.

Lunch and dinner daily. Closed Mon and Tues. 370 Manor Lane, Jamesport. www.jamesportmanor.com. Reservations 631-722-0500 or opentable.com.

LE SOIR RESTAURANT – Serving the finest French cuisine for more than 25 years. Nightly specials, homemade desserts. 825 W. Montauk Hwy., Bayport. 631-472-9090.

MATSULIN – Finest Asian Cuisine. Zagat-Rated. Lunch, Dinner, Sushi & Sake Bar. Catering available. Open daily from noon. 131 West Montauk Highway, Hampton Bays.

631-728-8838, www.matsulin.com.

MUSE IN THE HARBOR – New American Fare with regional flair. Live music Thurs. Open 5 p.m., Wed.Sun. 16 Main Street, Sag Harbor. 631-899-4810. www. museintheharbor.com.

OLD MILL INN – Built in 1820, this historic old mill continues to delight customers in search of great waterfront dining. In the heart of North Fork wine country, this destination restaurant showcases fresh, local ingredients. Enjoy a glass of local wine on the deck overlooking Mattituck Inlet or by the fireplace in the pub.

Voted Best Bar by Dan’s Best of the Best in 2011. 631298-8080.

PIERRE’S – Euro-chic but casual French restaurant and bar. Late dinner and bar on weekdays. Open 7 days. Brunch Fri.-Sun., 11 a.m.-5 p.m. 2468 Main Street, Bridgehampton. 631-537-5110.

PLAZA CAFÉ – Fine American Cuisine with emphasis on seafood and great wines. Innovative and highly acclaimed.

Open for dinner at 5:30 p.m. 61 Hill Street (around the corner from the cinema). 631-283-9323.

RACE LANE – Open Wed-Sun, bar opens at 4 p.m. and kitchen at 5 p.m. $30 prix fixe dinner every night from 5 to 6:30 p.m. – choose from the entire menu. Award-winning Chef Dana Lamel has created a new Spring menu utilizing local produce, seafood and meats. Notable wines from an extensive list. 31 Race Lane, East Hampton. 631-324-5022, www.racelanerestaurant.com.

SEN RESTAURANT – Chicken, beef and shrimp favorites

dug into a platter of hot, tender fried calamari.

It was pleasantly light and remained one of our favorite dishes of the evening. The baked clams didn’t grab us – they could work for you if you like them bready.

We found the pizza to be straightforward, standard-issue, with a light, crispy crust. The grandma pizza is a basil-forward saucy one.

Go for the sesame crust – unless you’re glutenintolerant – then get some o’ that gluten-free pizza. Joe told us that the Buffalo Style Chicken Pizza is one of their biggest sellers. He pointed out that Pagano’s in Greenport is what Pagano’s in Southold used to be, “a full-blown pizzeria.”

Joe stressed that Pagano’s offers daily dinner specials and that their real osso bucco is a huge hit.

We also tried the shrimp stuffed with tender, shredded crab.

My fave dish was the eggplant rolatini. Apparently rolatini is Italian for “roll of goo topped with tasty cheese.” Such creamy ricotta!

Joe talked us into two small cannoli for dessert.

They were nicely chilled and yummy. Pagano’s gets their shells from Lindenhurst, but Joe mixes the filling himself from Ferrara’s creamy finest.

PAGANO’S LITTLE ITALIAN PLACE – Full service gourmet pizzas, pastas, eggplant parmesan and other Italian dishes and daily specials. Full bar.

Cozy atmosphere, family friendly. Open 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Wed.-Mon. Closed Tuesday. 110 Front Street, Greenport. 631-477-6767 or 631-765-6109

S. Dermont

S. Dermont

By Stacy Dermont My husband and I hadn’t been to That Little Italian Place (TLIP) in Greenport since 2010 – now it’s called Pagano’s Little Italian Place and much has changed. It’s still owned by Joe Pagano but his son Joe Jr. has joined him there as chef. His two daughters sometimes wait tables.

I asked Joe if he’d taught his son everything he knows, and he replied, “I like to say I did.”

It’s hard to believe this fast-moving, trim guy has been making pizza for 38 years. He told us he’s been getting to the gym more often these days, gearing up for the season – he’s sure to be a busy man. This summer they’ll be adding panini to the lunch menu. With warm weather and pizza smells blowing out the front door, Pagano’s will be swamped – especially over Memorial Day weekend. The Tall Ships Festival is due to return to Greenport Harbor May 26-28 and bring 70,000 people to town. That’s a lot of panini! We pointed out that Joe should also be looking forward to the upcoming exhibit at the East End Seaport Museum down the street that same weekend, “Tattoo: Art of the Sailor” – his arms’ art is sailor-worthy.

Picture yourself listening to country music, gazing out at a boat on the water, knocking back a brewski.

Easy to do, isn’t it? Since we found ourselves in Greenport in a place that serves Greenport Harbor Ale – Husband ordered up “a taste.” He found it “very fresh, a nice balance of sweet and bitter.”

Lorna’s Nuts & Goodies with a selection of sushi and sashimi. Opens 5:30 p.m. daily. 23 Main Street, Sag Harbor. 631-725-1774, www. senrestaurant.com.

SOUTHAMPTON PUBLICK HOUSE – Since 1996, this microbrewery/restaurant is your Hamptons home for world-class beers. Open year-round for lunch and dinner.

Private taproom, catering and takeout. 40 Bowden Square, Southampton. 631-283-2800, www.publick.com.

SQUIRETOWN RESTAURANT & BAR – A modern American bistro. Open daily for lunch and dinner. Fresh local seafood, prime steaks and local seasonal vegetables.

26W Montauk Highway, Hampton Bays. 631-723-2626.

TUTTO IL GIORNO – $33 three-course prix fixe dinner, Wed, Thurs and Sunday all night. Friday from 6 to 7 p.m.

Open for lunch and dinner Saturday and Sunday at Noon.

Closed Mon and Tues. 6 Bay Street, Sag Harbor. 631-7257009.

TUTTO IL GIORNO SOUTH – $33 three course prix fixe dinner, Sun, Mon and Thurs all night, and Fri from 6 to 7 p.m. Open for dinner Thurs, Mon at 6 p.m. Open for lunch Sat and Sun at noon. Closed Tues and Wed. 56 Nugent Street, Southampton. 631-377-3611.

TWEED’S – Located in historic Riverhead, Tweed’s Restaurant & Buffalo Bar in the J.J. Sullivan Hotel serves the finest local food specialties and wines representing the best L.I. vineyards. Open 7 days for lunch and dinner. 17 E. Main Street. 631-208-3151.

VALENTE RISTORANTE PIZZERIA – Grand opening May 3. Located at 674 Montauk Highway, East Quogue.

631-653-6004.

Check out www.danshamptons.com for more listings and events.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 47

& ART COMMENTARY

by Marion W. Weiss

Whitney Biennial 2012 Each time the Whitney Biennial appears, there’s lots of negative comments, mostly concerning the curators’ selections. The current show is no exception. Yet, some criticisms have little to do with the quality of the work. Rather, it’s about the viewing experience itself that annoys spectators the most, this critic included. To be fair, the same annoyances could be applied to other big museums and/or popular exhibits.

We know we’re being picky, but waiting in a long line to see the Biennial is a real inconvenience; so is going to the Museum’s restaurant where there are no seats available, and everything is terribly overpriced. Having to stand around for the elevator is a drag as well. And then there’s the problem of asking the security guards where a particular work is located or merely where the wall text is. Many simply don’t know. The high admission price should guarantee some amenities. Often, it doesn’t. Is it no wonder that smaller venues like The Rubin Museum of Art, The Jewish Museum and The Neuve Museum have more appeal?

Now about the actual works at the Biennial. First and foremost, it’s difficult to do a comprehensive study since analyzing every piece in such a large exhibit is fruitless. Therefore, we critics are left to a “pick and choose” method based on personal and professional preferences. That is, are there artists represented whose work we know and like? Are there themes, styles or materials we are dissolves and superimpositions) was, again, attracted to more than others? For better or worse, something we’ve seen before. we usually tend to gravitate toward these pieces.

However, this critic has never seen the following Since this critic has a penchant for film and video, works before; they stand out for their use of material, the first stop was a screening of Wild Night in El aesthetics and themes based on philosophy and Reno (1977) by “underground guru” George Kuchar metaphysics. Kai Althoff’s large hangings are (who passed away last year). While it’s an interesting delicate and intricate, with visual images attached home movie of sorts featuring odd characters and a to the textiles featuring somewhat realistic, yet quirky environment that inhabit the Motel Reno, it unfamiliar figures. Next we go from Althoff’s highisn’t an outstanding cinematic achievement. Yet the hung works to Sam Lewitt’s containers sitting on the film reminds us of a salient legacy that Kuchar left floor: “Fluid Employment” is a collection of oddlybehind. Another movie by Werner Herzog is more shaped plastic forms covered with some mysterious sophisticated in its conception and execution, an fluid that is both shinny and scary. installation with a five-channel digital projection Matt Hoyt’s objects on a plain shelf are located and 20 etchings by Hercules Seger (a little-known mid - point between the wall and the floor; the work 17th century Dutch artist). Unfortunately, seeing is very simple compared to other nearby pieces, five images at once may be fascinating, but it’s not recalling old farm tools or ancient shards. Each item all that unusual nowadays. sits by itself, recalling Ned Smyth’s installations of The fourth floor gallery featured choreographers, stones a few years back here on the East End. playwrights, filmmakers and performance artists, The Biennial will be on view until May 27 at New a welcomed addition to the Biennial’s visual art York’s Whitney Museum (945 Madison Avenue).

Events AD B+W_Dans pg 4/26/12 4:39 PM Page 1 component. Charles Atlas’sMay installation showing 1-4 www.whitney.org, 212-249-4350. multiple images of diverse people (complete with

The fun begins this month!

Mother’s Day Weekend

51

My Son the Waiter: A J ew i s h Tr a g e d y

Saturday, May 12 at 8 pm Actor, comedian

Brad Zimmerman

5K MINITHON

Saturday, June 2, 2012

"Saturday Night Live" and "Suburgatory"

9:00 a.m. at Bridgehampton Militia Park, Ocean Rd.

Ana Gasteyer and Brian d’Arcy James:

From the hit show "Smash"

irts Tsh irst s to f ant istr g e r 200

Memorial Weekend

One Night, Saturday, May 26 Two Voices, at 8 pm Three Cheers

My Brilliant Divorce

For More Information

By Geraldine Aron American Premiere!

631-537-1789

Previews sponsored by

May 29 – June 24

www.danshamptons.com/potatohampton

Proceeds to Benefit:

BAY STREET LONG WHARF SAG HARBOR

14987

THEATRE

Subscribe now!

2012 Mainstage Season www.baystreet.org 631-725-9500

14794

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 arts & entertainment danshamptons.com Page 48

by Marion W. Weiss

Tory Cowles This week’s cover by Tory Cowles is an abstract image that begs to be experienced more closely.

There’s something about the colors and movement that engages us, allowing us to enter the space as if we were actually in the middle of the picture plane.

Other paintings by Cowles are even more colorful, although still abstract. If we study them for a while,

Kathy Beynette

HONORING THE ARTIST

the shapes begin to come together, looking like the inside of a room, perhaps a living room; we begin to see furniture and accessories emerging. Which makes sense, since Cowles was an interior designer.

We can also see how the artist’s penchant for threedimensionality contributes to this effect.

Q: What’s your background like, besides your interior design experience?

A: My father was an architect, and I did architecture design. I went to Bennington College and studied sociology, then switched to progressive education based on the teachings of John Dewey. After I graduated, I went to work at the National Institute of Education and worked in Career Education, which gives students “hands-on” experience in elementary school.

Q: I’m all for that approach since my son went to a school like that. How did you transition from education into art?

A: I left the National Institute of Education and became an apprentice carpenter in Washington for

two years. I bought a bungalow in the Palisades area where I could apply my skills.

Q: I know that location well. It’s really beautiful there. Do friends today ask you to help them with building projects because of your carpentry background?

A: That takes time. I started to do my own deck, but I wouldn’t have had time to paint if I had done it.

Q: How is carpentry and art related as far as your own work? Carpentry must have structure. How about your paintings?

A: I have structure in my paintings, too. But, I also have spontaneity; some pieces are looser than others. I am interested in the balance between spontaneity and structure.

Q: How do you create that spontaneous quality?

A: I can’t intellectualize about it. If I analyze it too much, it doesn’t work.

Q: What meaning does spontaneity have in your paintings and /or your life?

A: Most of us try to place order on our life. Being spontaneous is hard, and it’s hard to make it work.

Letting go of control is difficult Q: Besides that balance between control and less control, what other aesthetic quality is important to you?

A: Color is most important. Bright colors make me happy. But I like bold colors and subtly as well Q: There’s the notion of balance again. What artists have influenced you?

A: Robert Rauschenberg and his “ Combines” and Jean - Michel Basquiat. I did an interactive painting inspired by Rauschenberg’s “Combines.” When I see their paintings, my life is fuller. Their paintings make me sing and dance. I can live my life more fully.

Q: And how about your own paintings? How do they make you feel?

A: They make me feel alive.

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Tory Cowles will be exhibiting her work (along with Annemarie Feld) at Sag Harbor’s Romany Kramoris Gallery (41 Main St.) from May 18 - June 17. Call 631-725-2499 for more information.

The artist’s works can be seen at her studio at the Torpedo Factory (105 North Union Street, Studio #7, Alexandria, Va.) Call 240-793-5425.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 arts & entertainment danshamptons.com Page 49

ART OPENINGS & GALLERIES

For more events happening this week, check out: North Fork Calendar pg: 39 Kids Calendar pg: 43 Day By Day Calendar pg: 50 OPENINGS AND EVENTS THE OUTDOOR MUSEUM (NOT YOUR USUAL IMAGES OF NEW YORK) EXHIBITION –May 3, 4-6 p.m. Book Signing. On view through July 29. Boots Lamb Education Center. Sheldon Harnick and Margery Gray Harnick.

ROGERS MEMORIAL LIBRARY – Pieces will be on display May 3 through May 30. Opening reception for Landscape Tapestries and Quilts by Carlie Mayer Feldman from 4:30-6:30 p.m. on May 4. 631-283-0774.

GUILD HALL – 75TH ANNUAL ARTISTS MEMBERS EXHIBITION – 158 Main St. 631-324-0806, www. guildhall.org.

OPENING RECEPTION – May 5, 4-5 p.m. Members Preview, 5-6 p.m. free public opening.

EDUCATION – Saturdays, May 12, 19, 26 and June 2, 9 from 2-4 p.m. Painting Workshop with Roisin Bateman. $150/$125 Members.

PUBLIC PROGRAMS – May 19, 10 a.m. Grants and Funding for Artists. Panel to be announced. Noon, Assistant to the Curator, Lewis B. Cullman Education Associate, Michelle Klein, interviews winning entrants while touring the show.

SOUTHAMPTON HISTORICAL MUSEUM – May 15-September 3, 2012. Chris Murray’s Paintings of New York. Open 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Tues.-Sat. 17 Meeting

House Ln., SH. 631-283-2494. www.

SCULPTURE IN THE GARDEN: southamptonhistoricalmuseum.org. $4 UNCOMMON GROUND III – July adults, members and children free.

21. Bridge Gardens, 36 Mitchell Ln., AGORA GALLERY, NYC – BH. 631-283-3195.

Exhibition runs from May 18 – June THE GARDEN AS ART – August 7. Opening reception May 25, 6-8 p.m.

25. Guild Hall 158 Main St., EH. Agora Gallery, 530 West 25th St., NYC. Continental breakfast, presentation “Landscapes of the Mind” exhibition by

by Mr. Hollander, Edmund Hollander Southampton artist CATO. 631-212Landscape Architects, Tour of 4151, www.agora-gallery.com. spectacular gardens. Bridge Gardens, SILAS MARDER GALLERY – May 631-324-0806, www.guildhall.

19, opening reception for “The Big org. Register before July 1, $85/$75 Show 7,” 5-9 p.m. 120 Snake Hollow members; After $100/$85 members.

Rd., BH. This year’s exhibition will feature works by William Steiger, Jill ONGOING Musnicki, Perry Burns, Jeff Muhs, RVS GALLERY – 20 Jobs Ln., SH. Rex Lau, Shelley Reed, Cornelia Foss, Featuring private gallery artists. 631Nathan Slate Joseph, Janet Culbertson, 283-8546.

Alice Moore Hope, Carol Hunt, Gavin MONIKA OLKO GALLERY – Zeigler and Christian Little. Exhibition Through May 6. 95 Main St., SGH. on view May 19 – June 24. 631-702Open 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and 2306, www.silasmarder.com.

Sunday. Rick Palin, photographer, SYLVESTER & CO. AT HOME – May exhibition is entitled, “Boatyard 27 opening reception for “Paintings,” Project.” 631-899-4740. a solo exhibit by East Hampton GALLERY 125 – Through May 13. 125 painter Anne Raymond, 6-8 p.m. 154 S. Country Rd., Bellport. Major works Main St., AMG. 631-267-9777, www.

by Daniel O’Keefe and John Perreault.

East 59th Street by Chris Murray sylvesterathome.com.

631-880-2693.

ROGERS MEMORIAL LIBRARY – CELADON GALLERY – Through May June 9, opening of “Vernissage: East End Water Views 20, 2012. 41 Old Mill Rd., WM. Clay Art Guild of the and Landscapes,” by Donald E. Wilson, from 2-4 p.m. 631- Hamptons ceramics sale. Open weekends 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

283-0774.

PARRISH ART MUSEUM – Through June 17, 2012.

PARRISH ART MUSEUM – Opens June 24. 25 Jobs Ln., Saturdays, exhibition tour at 2 p.m. First Mondays of the SH. “The Landmarks of New York.” Exhibition on view month, 1 p.m. tour for seniors. 25 Jobs Ln., SH. EST–3: through September 5, 2012. Another exhibition entitled, Southern California in New York; Los Angeles Art from “Liminal Ground: Adam Bartos Long Island Photographs, the Beth Rudin DeWoody Collection. 631-283-2118, www.

2009-2011,” will also be on display from June 24 – parrishart.org.

September 5. 631-283-2118, parrishart.org.

LONG ISLAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART – “DIGGING UP OUR AGRARIAN ROOTS” Open Fridays and Saturdays from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. and EXHIBITION OPENING PARTY – July 6, 6-8 p.m.

Sundays from noon-5 p.m. 1200 Route 25A, Stony Brook.

Shelter Island Historical Society, 16 South Ferry Rd., SI. “Long Island in Bloom” runs through July 8. This is a 631-749-0025.

Smithsonian affiliate. 631-751-0066.

3RD HAITIAN ART & HANDCRAFT SALE – July POLLOCK-KRASNER HOUSE – Through July 28, 20-22. Opening Reception July 22, 5-8 p.m. Open July 2012. 830 Springs Fireplace Rd., EH. “The Persistence of 21, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m., July 22, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Upper Parish Pollack,” 13 works by contemporary artists.

Hall, Christ Episcopal Church, Hampton & East Union Streets, SGH. Sale of Haitian art and handcrafts to benefit Send Gallery listings to david@danspapers.com before the people of Chermaitre, Haiti, in partnership with the noon on Friday. Check out www.danshamptons.com for Vassar Haiti Project. 631-725-0128, www.thehaitiproject. more listings and events. org.

MOVIES Mon.-Thurs., 4:30, 7:30 Think Like A Man (PG-13) – Fri., 4:20, 7:10, 10, Sat., 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 10, Sun., 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, Mon.-Thurs, 4:20, 7:10

Please call to confirm titles and times.

UA EAST HAMPTON CINEMA 6 (+) (631-324-0448) The Avengers 3D (PG-13) – Fri., 3:45, 7, 10:10, Sat., 12:30, 3:45, 7, 10:10, Sun., 12:30, 3:45, 7, Mon.-Thurs, 3:45, 7 The Avengers 2D (PG-13) – Fri., 3:15, 6:30, 9:45, Sat., 12, 3:15, 6:30, 9:45, Sun., 12, 3:15, 6:30, Mon.-Thurs., 3:15, 6:30 Bully (PG-13) – Fri.-Thurs., 3:30 Chimpanzee (G) – Fri., 4:45, 7:15, 9:15, Sat., 12:45, 2:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:15, Sun., 12:45, 2:45, 4:45, 7:15, Mon.-Thurs., 2:45, 4:45, 7:15 The Hunger Games (PG-13) – Fri., 6:15, 9:30, Sat., 12:45, 2:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:15, Sun., 12:45, 2:45, 4:45, 7:15, Mon.Thurs., 2:45, 4:45, 7:15 Pirates Band Of Misfits 3D (PG) – Fri.-Sun., 4, 6:45, Mon.-Thurs., 6:45 Pirates Band Of Misfits 2D (PG) – Fri., 9, Sat. 1, 9, Sun., 1, Mon.-Thurs., 4 The Raven (R) – Fri., 4:15, 7:30, 10, Sat., 1:15, 4:15, 7:30, 10, Sun., 1:15, 4:15, 7:30, Mon.-Thurs, 4 SOUTHAMPTON (631-287-2774) Schedule not available at press time, please call for showtimes.

SAG HARBOR CINEMA (+) (631-725-0010) Schedule not available at press time, please call for showtimes.

MATTITUCK CINEMAS (631-298-SHOW) The Avengers – PG-13 Five Year Engagement – R The Lucky One – PG-13 The Pirates Band Of Misfits – PG The Raven – R Safe – R Think Like A Man – PG-13 Please call for showtimes.

UA HAMPTON BAYS 5 (+) (631-728-8251) The Avengers 3D (PG-13) – Fri., 3:45, 7, 10:30, Sat., 12:30, 3:45, 7, 10:30, Sun., 12:30, 3:45, 7, Mon.-Thurs., 3:45, 7 The Avengers 2D – Fri., 3:15, 6:30, 10, Sat., 12, 3:15, 6:30, 10, Sun., 12, 3:15, 6:30, Mon.-Thurs., 3:15, 6:30 Pirates Band Of Misfits 3D (PG) – Fri., 4:15, 6:45, Sat.-Sun., 4:15, 6:45, Mon.-Thurs., 6:45 Pirates Band Of Misfits 2D (PG) – Fri., 9:45, Sat., 12:45, 9:45, Sun., 12:45, Mon.-Thurs, 4:15 Three Stooges (PG-13) – Fri., 4:30, 7:30, 9:50, Sat. 1:15, 4:30, 7:30, 9:50, Sun. 1:14, 4:30, 7:30,

HAMPTON ARTS (WESTHAMPTON BEACH) (+) (631-288-2600) The Avengers 2D (PG-13) – Fri., 4, 7, 9:45, Sat., 1, 4, 7, 9:45, Sun., 1, 4, 7, Mon.-Thur., 7 Five Year Engagement (R) – Fri., 4:30, 7:30, 9:45, Sat., 2, 4:30, 7:30, Sun., 2, 4:30, 7:30, Mon.-Thur., 7 THE MONTAUK MOVIE (631-668-2393) The Avengers 2D (PG-13) – Fri.-Sat., 7, 9:40 Please call for additional showtimes.

The sign (+) when following the name of a theater indicates that a show has an infrared assistive listening device.

Please confirm with the theater before arriving to make sure they are available.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 50

DAY BY DAY For more events happening this week, check out: North Fork Calendar pg.: 39 Kid Calendar pg: 43 Arts & Galleries Listings pg: 49 AMG-Amagansett; BH-Bridgehampton; EH-East Hampton; HB-Hampton Bays; MV-Manorville; MTKMontauk; Q-Quogue; RVHD-Riverhead; SGH-Sag Harbor; SGK-Sagaponack; SH-Southampton; WM-Water Mill; WH-Westhampton; WHB-West Hampton Beach WS-Wainscott

THURSDAY, MAY 3

BOUQUET OF WISHES 2012 – 6:30 p.m., Villa Lombardi’s, Holbrook. This past December, Skyler, a 15-year-old, was able to practice her baking skills at Blue Duck Bakery Café before joining bakers at Disney World.

Skyler will give a presentation about her wish experience. www.makeawish-suffolk.org, 631-585-9474.

RACHEL’S CHALLENGE – 7 p.m. Auditorium, Bridgehampton School, 2685 Montauk Hwy, BH. Community members are invited to attend this special event focusing on Rachel Scott, the first person killed in the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School. We will use this program to honor the powerful legacy of compassion and kindness Rachel left behind. Due to the sensitive nature of this event, attendees must be over 12; babysitting is available.

“THE COOL SCHOOL: HOW LA LEARNED TO LOVE MODERN ART” FILM – 7:30 p.m. Parrish Art Museum, 25 Jobs Ln., SH. The film focuses on the seminal Ferus Gallery, which groomed the LA art scene from a loose band of idealistic beatniks into a coterie of competitive, often brilliant artists, including Ed Kienholz, Ed Ruscha, Craig Kauffman, Wallace Berman, Ed Moses, Robert Irwin. 631283-2118, www.parrishart.org. $7, $5 for members.

ANTON CHEKHOV’s “UNCLE VANYA” – ThursdaysSaturdays at 8 p.m., Sundays at 7 p.m., through May 20.

John Drew theatre, Guild Hall, 158 Main St., EH. Comedic story about middle-aged Ivan Petrovich Voynitsky’s reaction when he is visited by his late sister’s first husband, and the man’s beautiful new wife. Directed by Stephen Hamilton. 631-324-0806, www.guildhall.org. $25

WHBPAC The Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center has been one of the premier spots to see world-class performers in the Hamptons for many years, and the 2012 Mainstage Season is shaping up to be just as electric as ever!

Everyone will find something in 2012 to tickle their fancy.

If you’re in the mood for reggae music, you have to buy tickets to see five-time Grammy Winner Ziggy Marley (yes, Marley) on June 16. His mellow tones will start the summer off right!

Or why not come check out the Fab Faux, an excellent Beatles cover band that will perform on July 21? Another definite highlight of this summer’s WHBPAC lineup is the Grammy Award-winning group the Wallflowers, fronted

by Jakob Dylan, which will perform on July 22. Then August 3-5 will see the Zoppe Italian Family Circus hit town with a special performance for kids of all ages. Maybe you’d prefer the musical sounds of Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh on August 4. There are just so many options! But what could beat a performance by world-class jazz trumpeter Wynton Marsalis on August 19? Not much, but for a change of pace you could always try WHBPAC newcomer, Emmy Award-winner Megan Mullally in her postmodern “cabaret show gone mad,” hitting the stage on August 26.

For such a small area, the Hamptons really does host some incredible performers every year, find many of them at the WHBPAC.

general admission, $23 members, $10 students.

FRIDAY, MAY 4

ANNUAL ACHIEVEMENT DAY AND CRAFT EXHIBITION – 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. George Young Community Center, South Jamesport Ave., Jamesport. Raffles, cookies, handmade cards and more! Refreshments will be served at this fun event.

631-298-4239. Free.

FRIDAYS AT NOON: THE ARTISTS VIEW – Noon.

Parrish Art Museum, 25 Jobs Ln., SH. With Mary Heilmann and Ned Smyth. 631-283-2118, www.parrishart. org. Free with museum admission.

OPENING RECEPTION – 4:30-6:30 p.m. Rogers Memorial Library, 91 Coopers Farm Rd., SH. Celebrating the opening of an exhibition of landscape tapestries and quilts by award-winning quilt maker Carlie Mayer Feldman. Exhibit will be at the library from May 3-May 30.

CANDLELIGHT FRIDAYS AT WOLFFER – 5-8 p.m.

Wölffer Estate Vineyard, 139 Sagg Rd., SGK. Certain Moves performs. 631-537-5106, www.wolffer.com. Free.

LIVE MUSIC: COPA – Fridays. 95 School St., BH. 631613-6469.

RENOWNED HEALTH PSYCHOLOGIST BRIAN LUKE SEAWARD, PhD SPEAKS – 5:30-7:30 p.m.

Parrish Memorial Hall, Herrick Rd., SH. “Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backwards,” find inner strength and manage everyday stress. 631-726-8800. $20.

GREATER EAST HAMPTON EDUCATION FOUNDATION, INC. SUNSET OVER THE HARBOR FUNDRAISER GALA – 6:30-10:30 p.m., East Hampton Point Restaurant, 295 Three Mile Harbor, EH. Sumptuous hors d’oeurves, dancing, auctions, cash bar. 631-605-5125, www.gehef.org. $30.

BREAKOUT ARTIST SERIES KICKOFF – 8 p.m.

Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, 76 Main St., WHB. In partnership with WEHM 92.9 and 96.9 FM announces its spring season of the new Breakout Artist Series featuring Kathleen Edwards. WHB. 631-288-1500, www.whbpac.org. $20-$25.

SATURDAY, MAY 5

FAIR FOODS MARKET – Saturdays through 5/12, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., Bay Burger, 1742 Sag Harbor Tpk, SGH. Locally-produced food. www.eastendfoodies.com.

SOUTHAMPTON TRAILS: WHISKEY HILL – 10-11 a.m. Meet on Mill Path, off Lopers Path east, BH. Moderately-paced 1.5-mile hike with ocean views from top of the moraine. Jean Dodds, 631-599-2391.

PARTY IN RED – 10 a.m. – noon., 230 Elm, 230 Elm St., SH. Zumbathon to benefit the American Heart Association.

516-521-7256, www.oscargonzalez.me. $15 in advance, $20 at the door.

HIKING LONG ISLAND WITH LEE MCALLISTAR – 11 a.m. Hampton Library, 2478 Main St., BH. Join us for a talk with author and nature enthusiast Lee McAlister for tips for hiking on Long Island. 631-537-0015.

LOAVES & FISHES COOKING DEMONSTRATION – Saturdays, 12-2 p.m. Loaves & Fishes, 2266 Main St., BH. 631-537-6066, www.landfcookshop.com.

WESTHAMPTON BEACH HISTORIC HOUSE TOUR – Noon-4 p.m. Rain or shine. Tickets at Lynne’s Cards and Gifts, 137 Main St., WHB. 631-288-1139, www. whbhistorical.org. $50, $60 same-day. After party at Casa Basso 4-6p.m., additional $35.

CINCO DE MAYO CELEBRATIONS – 1-5 p.m. Duck Walk South, 231 Montauk Hwy (Rte. 27), WM. Live music and tapas. 631-726-7555, duckwalk.com.

SPRING FLING AT SH ANIMAL SHELTER FOUNDATION – 1:30-4:30 p.m. 102 Old Riverhead Rd., HB. Fabulous afternoon sponsored by the Hampton Bays Action Science Club. Will include face painting, a bake sale. a display of custom-made bird houses, and more! 631728-PETS, www.southamptonanimalshelter.com.

DOG-FRIENDLY “YAPPY” HOUR – 3:30-6 p.m. Foody’s Restaurant, Water Mill Shops, 760 Montauk Hwy, WM. Meet other dogs and dog-lovers at this Mexican-themed Cinco de Mayo event! The Hamptons Pet Chef will be there, as will Lisa the Dog Trainer, to keep your pups fed and happy, while food and drink specials for the humans.

Dogs will be available for adoption from Last Chance Rescue. 786-942-7387, Lisa@LisaTheDogTrainer.com.

READING FROM LONG ISLAND NOIR – 5 p.m.

Canio’s Books, 290 Main St., SGH. Reading with editor Kaylie Jones and contributors. This anthology includes numerous tales from Long Island that highlight some of the darker aspects of life on the Island. Free.

COOKING CLASS: ITALIAN SEAFOOD – 6-9 p.m.

Loaves & Fishes, Bridgehampton Inn, 2266 Main St., BH. 631-537-6066, www.landfcookshop.com. $165.

1960s LOS ANGELES AND THE BIRTH OF FEMINIST ART – 6:30 p.m. Parrish Art Museum, 25 Jobs Ln., SH. A lecture by Gail Levin. 631-283-2118, www.parrishart.org.

“A TASTE OF NEW ORLEANS” BENEFIT PARTY – 7-10 p.m. Sole East Resort, 90 Second House Rd.,

PICK OF THE WEEK

Sat., May 5 Traditional New England Barn Dance (see listing below)

MTK. Cocktail party benefiting the Montauk Playhouse Community Center Foundation. Highlights include a crawfish boil and fling buffet. 631-668-1124, www. montaukplayhouse.org. $50.

TRADITIONAL NEW ENGLAND BARN DANCE – 8-11 p.m., Water Mill Community House. Dances taught by the caller, Bob Isaacs. Live music by Dunegrass.

Introductory lesson 7:45 p.m. No partner necessary, wear soft soled shoes. Long Island Traditional Music Association (LITMA). 631-725-3103, www.litma.org. $14 adults, $7 students, children up to 16 free with adult.

SOLD OUT: INDIA UNFOLDS: A PERSONAL ODYSSEY SINCE 1983 – LongHouse Reserve, 133 Hands Creek Rd., EH.

SUNDAY, MAY 6

GRAND CELEBRATION MOTHER’S DAY FOR PET OWNERS – 10 a.m. or noon Hilton Garden Inn, 2038 Old Country Rd., RVHD. Brunch, with complimentary mimosa.

A unique craft and collectible boutique for pets and moms, and raffles. Bring photos of your pet! Benefits Kent Animal Shelter. 631-727-5731, www.KentAnimalShelter.com. $30 in advance, $40 at the door.

SOUTHAMPTON TRAILS: RIVERHEAD KAYAK TRIP – 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Launch behind Codie’s Bar on Main St., RVHD. Easy four-mile paddle along the beautiful and historic Peconic River. Bill Velys, 516-458-8548.

EXPLORING GARDENS AND GREEN SPACES FROM CONNECTICUT TO THE DELAWARE VALLEY – 2 p.m. Main Auditorium, Bridgehampton Community House, Montauk Hwy, BH. Illustrated lecture by Magda Salvesen, a garden and art historian. Refreshments.

631-537-2223. $10 admission for non-members of the Horticultural Alliance; free for members.

MOZART SONATAS FOR VIOLIN AND PIANO – 3 p.m. The Friends of the Rogers Memorial Library will present an afternoon performance of Mozart Sonatas for Violin and Piano by two internationally acclaimed artists – violinist Guillaume Sutre and pianist Neal Stulberg.

LAWRENCE LEVY SPEAKS – 3:15 p.m. Watermill Community Center, 743 Montauk Hwy, WM. Speaking on “Election 2012: The Road to the White House Runs Through the Suburbs” at the annual meeting of the League of Women Voters of the Hamptons. Lawrence Levy is the Executive Dean of the National Center for Suburban Studies at Hofstra University.

PAGE AT 63 MAIN LIVE MUSIC – 7-9 p.m., 63 Main Street, SGH. Groove Gumbo Trio featuring Max Feldschuh on Vibraphone, Steve Shaughnessy on Bass, Claes Brondal on Drums & Special Guests. 631-725-1810, www.page63main.com. $5 suggested donation.

TUESDAY, MAY 8

SPEAKING SHAKESPEARE – 7 p.m. Guild Hall, 158 Main St., EH. Students in Guild Hall’s classical acting class Speaking Shakespeare perform scenes on at the John Drew Theater. 631-324-0806, www.guildhall.org. Free.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9

READING FROM LONG ISLAND NOIR – noon. Rogers Memorial Library, 91 Coopers Farm Road, SH. See listing above for details. 631-283-0774, www.myrml.org. Free.

PIERRE’S ROSE WINE TASTING TO SELECT FOR SUMMER WINE MENU – 2 p.m., 2468 Main St., BH. We will select our Rose wine for the summer. It will be done around a blind tasting, taking notes, trying to look smart and inspired. About 26 Rose wines, all 2011 vintage will be tested; only 5 will make the cut. Reservations, 631-5375110. www.pierresbridgehampton.com.

UPCOMING

TASTE OF TWO FORKS – 7/14, 7:30-10 p.m., VIP admission at 6:30 p.m. Sayre Park, 154 Snake Hollow Road, BH. The food and wine event of the Hamptons returns for its second year. Hosted by Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten and Nicole Miller, the 2012 Ambassador of “TASTE.” A portion of the proceeds will benefit local food pantries through Have a Heart Community Trust. www.danstasteoftwoforks.com,. $225 VIP admission, $150 general admisison.

Send Day-by-Day Calendar listings to kelly@danspapers. com before noon on Friday.

Check out www.danshamptons.com for more listings.

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 51

LETTERS

Send your letters to

ENVIRONMENTALLY SUSTAINABLE FOOD Dear Dan, Last Sunday’s Earth Day observance, a study published in last week’s Environmental Research Letters warns that animal manure and fertilizers used in growing animal feed emit large amounts of nitrous oxide, a powerful greenhouse gas. An op-ed piece in this week’s New York Times warns that the devastating environmental impacts of a meat-based diet are actually magnified when raising animals on the range, because this involves much more land and more greenhouse gas emissions (www.nytimes. com/2012/04/13/opinion/the-myth-of-sustainablemeat.html?_r=1&emc=eta1).

These conclusions are in keeping with an extensive United Nations Environment Program’s report (www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2010/jun/02/ un-report-meat-free-diet), which drew on dozens of smaller studies. The highly-respected report concluded that agricultural production accounts for 70% of global freshwater use, 38% of land use and 19% of greenhouse gas emissions.

In an environmentally sustainable world, vegetables, fruits and grains must replace meat and dairy products, just as fossil fuels must be replaced by wind, solar and other pollution-free energy sources. As the world’s most conspicuous consumers, we have a special obligation to lead in pursuing an environmentally sustainable lifestyle. Our next trip to the supermarket is a great starting point.

Sincerely, Brody Warden Calverton

knelt down to cover my puppy, but the big dog then started clawing at my back and neck so that they bled. The owner said: “Oh well, once you get to that level, you are fair game”. I finally was able to lift up my puppy and we got away. I then saw this same big dog go after a man.

This episode traumatized my puppy. When we left the beach, we went to a friend’s house so that my puppy could meet her two adult standard poodles.

As soon as my puppy saw the big dogs, she ran and was scared. My friend then leashed her dogs so the puppy finally came into the house. My friend brought one of her dogs over to my puppy and slowly this kind and gentle dog got my puppy to come close to him. But a play day was definitely out of the question because of that inconsiderate woman on the beach.

If you have such an aggressive dog, it certainly should not be unleashed. Other people bring their dogs to the beach to let them play and enjoy their day and should not have to be afraid to bring their dogs to the beach because of dogs like the one that traumatized my puppy. It is outrageous that a dog owner would allow her dog to do a thing like this and do nothing about it. “Fair game”.

Does that mean that this big dog would attack little children? I don’t know this woman but she knows who I’m talking about her.

Marie Halsey Southampton

Didn’t know this. Cleaning up cow poop could create jobs. Seriously this is a good argument for going vegan. —DR

CALLING OUT LIOC TO FIX LIPA Dear Dan, It’s been over a month now that the Long

FUN BOBBY Dear Dan, I have thought to tell you for years how much I enjoy your paper.

Recently I find myself looking in the Table of Contents to start with articles written by Robert Sforza. I have learned so many things in these wellwritten articles.

Please keep them coming.

Keep up the good work!

Kathy Kane Middle Island Robert Sforza is a good writer. —DR THANK YOU Dear Dan, Thank you for printing Debbie Slevin’s article on the Town of Riverhead’s Youth Bureau’s Mentoring Matters Program. There are so many negative articles about young people that it is refreshing to see positive articles. There is one inaccuracy that needs to be corrected if possible. Our funding comes from a grant from Congressman Tim Bishop not from the Suffolk County Youth Bureau. Thank you again for this positive article about our youth.

Sincerely, Donna Lyczkowski Executive Director Town Of Riverhead Youth Bureau 200 Howell Ave. Riverhead So corrected. —DR KEEP YOUR DOG ON A LEASH OR STAY HOME Dear Dan, I recently took my 17-week-old standard poodle puppy to the beach. He was leashed and as we sat in the sun enjoying the nice weather, a big dog (don’t know what kind) came running over and attacked my puppy. I tried stepping in between them but the dog continued viciously barking and growling. I

Dogs with issues like this have no business being allowed to run free. —DR

askdan@danspapers.com (e-mails only, please) Island Oversight Committee (LIOC) released its voluminous 191-page report decrying that structural changes are “desperately” needed to address LIPA’s numerous problems, most notably high rates, customer dissatisfaction and billing problems.

The LIOC mission statement states that it was “created to analyze the rates and practices to determine if it is working in the best interest of the Suffolk County ratepayers.”

If this is the case, then why haven’t they addressed the obvious lack of energy competition through energy service companies?

Con Edison customers have over 170 Energy Service Companies (ESCO) willing to serve their footprint. LIPA has three and with the structural barriers they have in place, they have virtually no impact on the market price of electricity.

As I see it, the only thing that will bring real improvement to the entrenched corrupt and incompetent LIPA culture is competition through ESCOs. As long as LIPA continues to operate as the only game in town, they will continue to abuse their ratepayers and have no incentive to rise up and shake the label as the worst utility in the United States.

So if the LIOC is genuinely serious about its mission statement, why hasn’t it addressed the 800-pound gorilla in the room – LIPA’s shunning of ESCOs? Fixing this structural problem should be the number one thing on their agenda.

Eugene R. Dunn Medford I did not know any of this.

Amazing.—DR

Police Blotter Refused Treatment A dog attacked a duck in Southampton last week. The owner of the dog received a violation for not having his dog on a leash. The duck was injured, but refused medical treatment.

Strange A man in Montauk reportedly walked up to an officer and asked him how he could legally “kick the crap out of” another man who was sleeping with his girlfriend. There are no words here.

Horses A man injured himself last week in Southampton after he suffered a fall off of a rocking horse that he recently bought for his nephew and was demonstrating how to use it. Doctors described the man’s condition as “stable.”

Shelter Island Old Man McGumbus, 106-years-old and former World War II Psychological Warfare Chemist, was arrested last week after he attempted to buy a three-pack box of Trojan Magnum XXL condoms from the Shelter Island Deer Run Pharmacy, which is owned and operated by Suzie McBisquick, 78-years-old, and former Department of Motor Vehicles Marketing Specialist. McGumbus attempted to purchase the three-pack using his credit card, but McBisquick refused to sell him the box because there is a credit card minimum charge of $20.

“Just sell me my damn condoms, Suzie! I won’t ask again!”

“There’s a $20 credit card minimum McGumbus!

You need to buy something else.”

“I’ll buy whatever the hell I damn well please.

This is America damn it!”

All of the following was recorded on the pharmacy’s security cameras. After the argument took place, McGumbus, condom-less, walked outside of the store and re-entered the store with a baseball bat and began batting down shelves throughout the store. He began by smashing through the adult diapers and bottles of Ensure at the front of the store. Then he began smashing the cash register and throwing candy bars at McBisquick, who McGumbus formerly dating for 22 years. They never married. McBisquick, not to be intimidated, wrestled McGumbus to the floor and a fight broke out. McBisquick, who is very strong, threw McGumbus into a display case of KY Jelly, which is quite oddly on display next to the Caltrate Calcium vitamins and fish oil vitamins. And then, oddly, the two of them began to kiss, and made love in the store, which began to catch on fire after a spark from the destroyed cash register lit up a bottle of lighter fluid. Police arrested McGumbus after the Shelter Island Fire Department put out the fire. McBisquick is expected to press charges. The entire incident, which took place on video, thanks to the security cameras, was uploaded by somebody onto youtube. com and has since become a viral video with over 250 million views and counting.

–David Lion Rattiner

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 52 House Construction (631) 335-1535

Junk Removal 1-800-Got-Junk?

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Advanced Builders & Land Development, Inc www.HamptonsHomeBuilders.net

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Security/Alarm Berkoski Home Security (631) 283-9300 www.berkoskisecurity.com

Roofing

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Plumbing / Heating ti Hardy Plumbing, Heating & AC (631) 283-9333 www.hardyplumbing.com

Painting / Papering

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Appliance Repair Harbor Appliance (631) 671-9808 harborappliance@yahoo.com

Decks Hampton Deck (631) 324-3021 www.hamptondeck.com

Garage Doors

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Gutters 1-800-NEW-ROOF (800) 639-7663 www.newroofestimate.com

Propane Gas

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Petro Propane (855) 4U-PROPANE

All Seasons Tree Care (631) 423-0111 www.allseasonstreecare.com

(855) 487-7672

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Window Treatments (631) 744-3533 Wondrous Window Designs www.wondrouswindowdesigns.com

Finished Basements Air / Heating / Geothermal

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Kitchen / Bath

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Oil Tanks Abandon/Testing Clearview Environmental (631) 569-2667 www.clearviewenvironmental.com

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Underground Utilities

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Service Directory’s

Putting Greens

(516) 922-9484 The Putting Green Company of Long Island www.greensoflongisland.com

Make Your House A Home

To place your business on this page,

please call 631-537-4900

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 53

PERSONAL SERVICES/ENTERTAINMENT/DESIGN/HOME SERVICES Service Directories Phone: 631-537-4900 • Fax: 631-537-1292

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 54

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 55

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 56

HOME SERVICES

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Owner Operated danwLeach@aOL.cOm

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A DeCADe of exPeRienCe SeRvinG The hAMPTonS Call for references Insured

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 57

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Property Management, L L C

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Get Ready foR

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ONEE CALL DOES IT ALL

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adveRtiSe youR employment

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Cell 631-513-9924

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Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 58

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n

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4008

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12633

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265OHI

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Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 59

HOME SERVICES

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imates

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Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 60

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OF THE

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MARBLE DUSTING Long Island Marble

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Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 61

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Aâ&#x20AC;? RATED

ON

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open: 8:30am-6pm Mondayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Friday

35 Years Experience

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family owned and operated

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Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 62

HOME SERVICES

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new Cesspools & Drywells Installed Main lines cleaned • pipelines installed

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Allows You To Advertise On Your Terms.

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g

If You’re a Seasonal Service Don’t Be forced Into Advertising your Service a Full Year.

Dan’s Papers has Packages of 50, 26 & 16 Weeks

Call Today To Book Your Service Directory Ad

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To Place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 63

DAN’S CLASSIFIEDS Classified & Service Directories Phone: 631-537-4900 • Fax: 631-537-1292

2221 Montauk Hwy., Bridgehampton

Email: adinfo@danspapers.com • Hours: 8:30am-6pm, Monday thru Friday Find Classifieds & Service Directories online - www.danshamptons.com Publication distributed Thursday & Friday

SERVICE DIRECTORIES

CLASSIFIED

Make Your House a Home Tax Directory • Mind, Body & Spirit Entertainment • Design Going Green • Home Services

Employment Classifieds Real Estate for Rent Real Estate for Sale

plus M

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ution

.

Deadlines

Classified: Monday 12 noon Service Directory: Thursday 5pm Real Estate Club: Friday 3pm

All classified ads must be paid in full prior to deadline. No refunds or changes can be made after deadline. Publisher responsible for errors for one week only. Publisher reserves the right not to publish certain ads.

Dan’s Papers follows all New York State Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity Employment laws.

Summer Internships Available

Editorial:

Should enjoy writing and have strong language skills.

Email resume to: stacy@danspapers.com

Events & Marketing: Must be organized, possess an interest in PR, Event Planning and/or Marketing.

Willing to roll up your sleeves and take on any task.

Email resume to: ellen@danspapers.com

Advertising & Administration:

Assist in selling the various Dan’s Papers products. Must have good communication skills and would enjoy experiencing the thrill of the sale.

Email resume to: lori@danspapers.com

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Email resume to: ericf@danspapers.com

Graphic Design: Must know Indesign, Adobe CS5 a plus and Mac proficient.

Email resume to artdir@danspapers.com All above positions are credit level internships; there is no salary.

Dan’s Papers is located in a brand new facility ideally located on County Rd 39 in Southampton. Applicants should email as indicated. No phone calls, please. 13840

DOMESTIC STAFFING From Manhattan to Montauk

n n n n

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n Personal Assistants n Chefs n Other Staff

Our advertisers renew their Service Directory ads year after year.

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adinfo@danspapers.com NY State Licensed & Bonded

Call: 631-204-1100

www.HamptonsEmployment.com info@hamptonsemployment.com 149 Hampton Road, Southampton

Service Directory Deadline 5pm Wednesday

To Place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 64

DAN’S CLASSIFIEDS We work your hours!

Dan’s Classifieds and Service Directory

EAST HAMPTON - Sat. 5/5, 8:30am-4:30pm. 492 Route 114. Huge garage sale! Everything must go! No early birds please! For more info. email chrisnyc@gmail.com

open: 8:30am-6pm Monday–Friday

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Get Ready foR SpRinG & SummeR adveRtiSe youR employment oppoRtunity in dan’S Call 631-537-4900

To Place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

Dan’s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 65

DAN’S CLASSIFIEDS/REAL ESTATE FOR RENT

To Place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 66

REAL ESTATE FOR RENT/REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

To Place Service Directory or Classified ads, contact the Classified Dept. at 631-537-4900 M-F 8:30-6pm www.danshamptons.com

Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 67

51

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Danâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Papers May 4, 2012 danshamptons.com Page 68

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ROCKY POINT (631) 744-8100 SOUTHAMPTON (631) 283-8883 7 DAYS A WEEK 9AM- 5PM

SMITHTOWN (631)265-2626

on Waters edge - barnes landing

exCeptional Value in the northWest Woods

east hampton. Custom built, mint 4 bedroom home. Open bright floor plan, cookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kitchen, large den, 2-car garage, walkout basement, wonderful screened porch, lush landscaped grounds and heated pool. Co-Exclusive. $1.745M Web# 24501

east hampton. This traditional home tucked away on 4.4 acres has a lovely sense of privacy and serenity. Features 4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, den, living room with soaring ceiling, garage and heated gunite pool. Co-Exclusive. $1.495M Web# 31178

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bonita deWolf 631.907.1457

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Claudette dixon 631.907.1452

lori laMura 631.723.4415

THE HAMPTONS

SHELTER ISLAND

NORTH FORK

Equal Housing Opportunity. The Corcoran Group is a licensed real estate broker. Owned and operated by NRT LLC.

New Baby?

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For the branch locations nearest you, call 631.537.1000 or visit www.bridgenb.com.

Member FDIC